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Text File  |  1994-04-13  |  12KB  |  315 lines
  1.  
  2.               [*]        Turn Down Your Monitor        [*]
  3.               ===          (Where Available)           ===
  4.  
  5. On a not-too-distant network run by TCP/IP,
  6. There were a bunch of MSTies, not much crazier than you or me.
  7. They talked about stars and gals and soup--
  8. Just another harmless discussion group.
  9. They treated net.loons with tact and grace
  10. Until one had a brainstorm that rocked all of cyberspace:
  11.  
  12. "I'll take these cheesy postings, the worst I can find--" (la la la)
  13. "I'll put in wacky comments, and blow everybody's minds." (la la la)
  14. Now, keep in mind, no one can say where this silliness all will end,
  15. Because this idea was picked up by a host of our UseNet friends...
  16.  
  17. Netizen Roll Call:
  18.  
  19.     Rob! (Huh?)
  20.     Jeff! (Present!)
  21.     Nightlemming! (Bite me, I'm evil!)
  22.     TV's Dale! (What are you doing, Dale?)
  23.  
  24.     Lisa! (Who?)
  25.     Matthew! (Sure, we all do!)
  26.     Michael! (A very nice name.)
  27.     Tom! (Mr. Bad Example!)
  28.  
  29.     Holly! (No compugeek!)
  30.     John! (No warranties...)
  31.     d.! (No comment.)
  32.     Dave! (HOOM am I addressing?)
  33.  
  34.     Kevin! (I'm not here!)
  35.     Lynsa! (Get a life!)
  36.     Harlan! (CONTINUED)
  37.     Steve! (Stop calling me Steve, Harlan!)
  38.  
  39.     Joe! (My!)
  40.     David! (Swiss Cheeser!)
  41.     David! (Stick to your day job.)
  42.     David! (Three, count 'em, three!)
  43.  
  44.     Chris! (Who opened the fourth seal?)
  45.     Eric! (int, int)
  46.     Mitchell! (MITCHELL!)
  47.     Spaaaatch! (He can scream all he wants!)
  48.  
  49. If you're wondering about libel suits, and other legal acts, (huh huh 
  50. huh?)
  51. Repeat to yourself, "It's just a joke. I should really just relax
  52. For Mystery UseNet Theater 3000."
  53.  
  54.  
  55.  
  56.                             ________________
  57.                           /****          ****\
  58.                          /**     o    o     **\
  59.                         /*                    *\
  60.                        /     o            o     \
  61.                       /                          \
  62.                      /*   o       ----       o   *\
  63.                     /*          / \  / \          *\
  64.                    /**   o     :___\/___:     o   **\
  65.                    \**   o     :   /\   ;     o   **/
  66.                     \*          \ /  \ /          */
  67.                      \*   o      `----'      o   */
  68.                       \                          /
  69.                        \     o            o     /
  70.                         \*                    */
  71.                          \**     o    o     **/
  72.                           \****          ****/
  73.                            `----------------'
  74.  
  75.                                 <clang>
  76.  
  77.  
  78.  
  79.                             ________________
  80.                           /-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)\
  81.                          /-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:\
  82.                         /-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:\
  83.                        /-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(\
  84.                       /-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)\
  85.                      /-(-:-(-:-(   22  (-:-(-:-(-:\
  86.                     /-:-)-:-)-:-) 2  2  )-:-)-:-)-:\
  87.                    /-:-(-:-(-:-(    2  (-:-(-:-(-:-(\
  88.                    \)-:-)-:-)-:-)  2    )-:-)-:-)-:-/
  89.                     \:-(-:-(-:-(  2222 (-:-(-:-(-:-/
  90.                      \:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-/
  91.                       \(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-/
  92.                        \)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-/
  93.                         \:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-/
  94.                          \:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-:-)-/
  95.                           \(-:-(-:-(-:-(-:-(-/
  96.                            `----------------'
  97.  
  98.                                  <grin>
  99.  
  100.  
  101.  
  102.                             ________________
  103.                           /      (__)        \
  104.                          /       (oo)         \
  105.                         / /-------\/           \
  106.                        / / |     ||   (__)      \
  107.                       / *  ||----||   (oo)       \
  108.                      /     ~~    ~~333 \/-------\ \
  109.                     /             3   3 ||     | \ \
  110.                    /    nn    nn    33  ||----||  * \
  111.                    \ *  ||----||  3   3 ~~    ~~    /
  112.                     \ \ |     ||   333             /
  113.                      \ \-------/\    nn    nn     /
  114.                       \       (oo)   ||----||  * /
  115.                        \      (--)   ||     | / /
  116.                         \           /\-------/ /
  117.                          \         (oo)       /
  118.                           \        (--)      /
  119.                            `----------------'
  120.  
  121.                                   <moo>
  122.  
  123.  
  124.  
  125.                             ________________
  126.                           />>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  127.                          />>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  128.                         />>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  129.                        />>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  130.                       />>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  131.                      />>>>>>>>>>>>>>4>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  132.                     />>>>>>>>>>>>>>44>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  133.                    />>>>>>>>>>>>>>4>4>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>\
  134.                    \>>>>>>>>>>>>>44444>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  135.                     \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>4>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  136.                      \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>4>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  137.                       \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  138.                        \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  139.                         \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  140.                          \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  141.                           \>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>/
  142.                            `----------------'
  143.  
  144.                                  <pizza>
  145.  
  146.  
  147.  
  148. begin 644
  149. M4$L#!`H````&`(>DCQO!4K`6F@$````$```(````2$58-2Y!04$/`!(#)!4VE
  150. M)S@Y:GM,G6X?"08!$S3E]I;W&RH$"2*8_/HE&$(;_1+DT+=NS\H-2[<NF^'3;
  151. M*#\W)$@NW/C+K&_K@D0;UFY9D'/KCAU;=NY<,^2WZ,9?LLT+DFS9L6^&)PLR5
  152. M+,BJ5<NZ6?86_/B+:G>I-2E4D&;3LBWK$B31M'/#PH7[-JT;?Z+NUJ[N@IX%"
  153. M6.BT=$'\YST(H.F7=,-\/Q>DF^CVWHJW$/_6S/QHDO(R0C.@'RNW+-TYU0HB:
  154. M'`<!SNNZ35,4"^^NY;07]F'=DO&FPF7LV\*!:KIE^+)QYS+GQZXA>K1IR11Y8
  155. M-^/XE",E?]JQ(-O`^98OU'8N>GU&N2$_):J&5+@9K7FP]`DK^=DW=24NX_[F/
  156. MO3&-QLU5=1EQ]N7^VWNT;^^V"*?$+_.41;,XDV'%$)W_9]/:;0%.A0]B2F:W$
  157. MQ67"R]'^+9SGHN`_@";`%205(;$]*\@[3@S+77$0WJAO"1[L'.SEDK'C<]&>H
  158. M=)$$IOIHKG!,?[MN@;:U"]<%<EKO8DG&C;B_98M@R!/;:]00#/B_(`+.$U!+<
  159. M`0(*`0H````&`(>DCQO!4K`6F@$````$```(``````````````````````!([
  160. =15@U+D%!05!+!08``````0`!`#8```#``0``````B
  161. ``
  162. end
  163. size 524
  164.  
  165.                             <zip>
  166.  
  167.  
  168.  
  169.                             ________________
  170.                           /FYA*MST3K*IMO*YHBW\
  171.                          /FIAWOL*TVF*3M*CFV*PC\
  172.                         /UNIX*FIJAGH*VHS*G*HOOM\
  173.                        /SoL*MVB*MS-DOS*C*FIJASOI\
  174.                       /CTR*EMACS********ACE*BASIC\
  175.                      /WWW*BEM*TS*      *JP*LPBN*vi\
  176.                     /ASCII*PMFHC* 6666 *F/X*A&E*LOX\
  177.                    /RTFAQ*MV*FTP* 6    *OMSI*MN*SRIA\
  178.                    \OMNIMAX*BCPL* 6666 *WAIS*VCR*BBI/
  179.                     \YABA*DCF*CC* 6  6 *IBM*FCC*FAQ/
  180.                      \TV*OCftAoE* 6666 *SIAS*ROTFL/
  181.                       \IMBO*.WAV*      *IIGS*UUCP/
  182.                        \mvp*SoLN********NFL*TMBG/
  183.                         \BAIII*I.K.*SNL*nn*TFOS/
  184.                          \NNTP*MN*<|> <|>*MSTH/
  185.                           \YOY*Ob*BCNU*G,D,&R/
  186.                            `----------------'
  187.  
  188.                                 <plonk>
  189.  
  190.  
  191.  
  192.                             ----------------
  193.                           /        |-----|   \
  194.                          / |-----| |     |    \
  195.                         /  |     | |_____|____ \
  196.                        /   |     |     /  |  |  \
  197.                       /    |_____|    /   |  |   \
  198.                      /  ____      \--/   /|--|    \
  199.                     /   |  |_____/    \-'          \
  200.                    /    |  |    |      |            \
  201.                    \    |__|    |      |            /
  202.                     \     ____ / \    /-|-----|    /
  203.                      \    |  |/   |--'\ |-----|   /
  204.                       \   |  |    |    \  ____   /
  205.                        \  |  |    |     \_|  |  /
  206.                         \ |__| |--------| |__| /
  207.                          \     |        |     /
  208.                           \    |--------|    /
  209.                            `----------------'
  210.  
  211.                                  <thud>
  212.  
  213.  
  214.  
  215.                               Inspired By
  216.                               -----------
  217. Mystery Science Theater 3000. No copyright infringement is intended, nor
  218. any official connection with the show implied. Believe me, if there were
  219.  any way to imply an official connection, it would have been exploited
  220.                               long since.
  221.  
  222.  
  223.                              Originated By
  224.                              -------------
  225.                Unknown; I couldn't get anyone to 'fess up.
  226.  
  227.                                 Writers
  228.                                 -------
  229.                              Dale Abersold
  230.                               David Bianco
  231.                              Steve Brinich
  232.                              Rob Brunskill
  233.                                Eric Burns
  234.                                Matt Duhan
  235.                              Holly Elliott
  236.                            Harlan Freilicher
  237.                               Chris French
  238.                               David Hines
  239.                               Lisa Jenkins
  240.                                  Lynsa
  241.                              John Mechalas
  242.                               Joe Merlino
  243.                              Michael Neylon
  244.                                  d. Page
  245.                             Kevin Podsiadlik
  246.                                Keith Rupp
  247.                               Tom Salyers
  248.                              Jeff Schaeffer
  249.                               TV's Spatch
  250.                             Dave van Domelen
  251.                              David G. White
  252.  
  253.  
  254.                         "Love Theme From MUT3K"
  255.                         -----------------------
  256.  
  257.                      set to "Love Theme From MST3K"
  258.                music by Joel Hodgson and Charlie Erickson
  259.                          words by "The Brains"
  260.                       Copyright Best Brains, Inc.
  261.                                        /
  262.                       new words by Petrea Mitchell
  263.               (with a little help from our UseNet friends)
  264.  
  265.                                 chords:
  266.                              C   F   C   F
  267.                              C   F   C   F
  268.                              C   F
  269.                              C   F
  270.                              C   F
  271.                              G
  272.                             (repeat, then:)
  273.                              C   F   C   F
  274.                              C   F   G
  275.                              F   G   C
  276.  
  277.                           ASCII Door Sequence
  278.                           ------/------------
  279.                             Petrea Mitchell
  280.  
  281.      I hereby declare these lyrics and door sequence Public Domain.
  282.  
  283.                               Door Masher
  284.                               -----------
  285.                             Elliott Mitchell
  286.  
  287.  
  288.                           For More Information
  289.                           --------------------
  290.               Contact <misties-request@jg.cso.uiuc.edu>.
  291.  
  292.                        Mailing List Maintained By
  293.                        --------------------------
  294.                              Michael Neylon
  295.                              John Mechalas
  296.  
  297.  
  298.                           If You Can Read This
  299.                           --------------------
  300.                           You're Too Darn Close
  301.  
  302.  
  303.                           and Cambot as himself
  304.  
  305.  
  306.                             Special Thanks to
  307.                             -----------------
  308.                                Alan Batie
  309.                               Britt Klein
  310.  
  311.  
  312.                      keep circulating the crossposts
  313.  
  314.  
  315.