ftp.ee.pdx.edu/2014.02.ftp.ee.pdx.edu.tar/ftp.ee.pdx.edu/pub/mst3k/sol/sol.32

Internet Message Format | 1994-02-02 | 25KB

From rsk  Tue Dec  1 21:21:50 1992
Date: Tue, 1 Dec 92 21:21:50 EST
From: rsk (Rich Kulawiec)
Posted-Date: Tue, 1 Dec 92 21:21:50 EST
Received-Date: Tue, 1 Dec 92 21:21:50 EST
Message-Id: <[e-mail]>
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Satellite of Love News #32
Status: OR

A note from your editor: please remember to include "mst3k" or "mst3000"
or "soln" on the "Subject" line of your messages; otherwise, they'll
be autofiled with the other 1000 or so pending messages that I have to
deal with, and I won't see them for a while.  I just fished a bunch
of month-old messages out of the heap, so you'll probably see some of
them in SOLN #33.

Hope you all enjoyed the Turkey Day Marathon -- and that you didn't each
as much turkey as TV's Frank.

---Rsk

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From: [e-mail] (Lisa D. Jenkins)
Date: Sun, 8 Nov 92 9:42:49 CST
Subject: Patrick Swayze X-Mas--in January!

                   _____                               _____
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                  \_____/   S A T E L L I T E  O F    \____ /
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                         TO A PATRICK SWAYZE X-MAS!!!

                                      at

                               The Padded Cellar

                          Comedy Gallery, Riverplace
                              219 Main Street SE
                            Minneapolis, Minnesota

                               January 31, 1993

                                  starting at
                                    6:00 PM


                                Invited guests:

                                  the cast of
                         MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000!


Bring a non-perishable food item to benefit the food shelves of Minneapolis
and celebrate Christmas MiSTy-style a little late (or early, depending on your
point of view).  Events during the evening include comedy by Scott Hansen,
live music, and much socializing!

To defray costs of renting The Padded Cellar, advanced payment of $37 per
person is required.  This includes a two entree buffet, two free drinks,
comedy, dance and mingling with fellow MiSTies!

Seating is limited to 150, so to reserve your place, send your name and
address to Lisa Jenkins ([e-mail]) with "reserve X-mas"
in the subject line.  Your place will be saved for *TWO WEEKS* until your
check/money order is received.  Your cancelled check is your receipt.

Please make check/money orders out to Lisa Jenkins to the following address.

NOTE:  All monies will be deposited in a new savings account in Lisa Jenkins'
name.  The accumulated costs will pay for the use of The Padded Cellar.  Any
money above and beyond the costs of this will be donated to the food shelves
of Minneapolis.

If, for any reason, the event is cancelled, your funds will be returned.

There's no tradition like a new tradition!

Lisa Jenkins
[e-mail]

---------

From: rsk (Rich Kulawiec)
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 92 12:40:47 EST
Subject: Grappling with group grope

I can't believe that nobody else noticed this, but here goes.

Renee Gelblat has asked me to point out an interesting moment in
"The Undersea Kingdom, Part 1" which was the short aired just
before "Attack of the Giant Leeches".  To find this point, set
your VCR to the very beginning of the show (i.e. the beginning
of the theme song) and skip 30:05 forward.  If you've edited out
the commercials, well...sorry.  You'll have to look for this cue line:
"Wait, we need that horse!" spoken by Crow, which occurs as
Frank dismounts his horse and runs up to rejoin the group.

Now, pay close attention to what Frank does.  He runs up to the
group, turns to his left, and says "Hurry, let's get back to the
submarine!"  All well and good...but he sticks out his right arm
and gropes the left breast of the woman standing in front of him.
She reacts by quickly removing his hand with her left arm.

The expression on her face changes rapidly, so you'll probably need
a VCR with freeze-frame to really appreciate this.

---Rsk

---------

From: [e-mail] (Larry Hastings)
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 92 22:32:59 -0800
Subject: Josh Weinstein spotting?

Last week's episode of "The Simpsons", where Marge gets a job working for
the nuclear power plant, was co-written by someone named Josh Weinstein.
Could it be that this is what he's moved on to?

Then again, early one Saturday morning, I heard a TV ad for the "Mother Goose
and Grimm" cartoon, and I swear the voice supplied for Grimm sounded like
the voice Weinstein used for Dr. Erhart.  (sp, I know, I know)

larry hastings, the galactic funkster, [e-mail]

---------

From: Ed Hughes <[e-mail]>
Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1992 09:54:45 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Interesting Calendar

I spotted a calendar on Saturday that I thought might
be interesting to other MST3K fans.  It's called
"Scream Gems," and it contains posters from bad old
horror movies, one per month.  It contains no less
than five MST3K movie posters.  Included are:

  The Amazing Colossal Man
  The Giant Gila Monster
  Attack of the Giant Leeches
  Killer Shrews
  Teenagers From Outer Space

It's amusing to see these "classics" presented as real
movies that are really supposed to scare you!  The best
poster, in my opinion, was the one for "Killer Shrews,"
which features a woman's shoe, a pool of blood, and
a big ol' shrew tail!  In the category of "unintentionally
scary," the winner has to be "Giant Gila Monster."  The
poster actually hypes the horrific songs from that movie,
*including* "My Baby She Rocks."

The list price for this thing is $10.99, less 10% where
I saw it.  They had a ton of 'em, though, so I'll wait
until January and then pick it up for 40% or 50% off.

The only other movie that I remember from this calendar
is "Attack of the 50-Foot Woman,"  a classic poster also.
This is also the poster that's on the front cover of the
calendar.

--Ed

--
Ed Hughes, SAS Institute
Cary, NC

---------

From: [e-mail]
Date: Fri, 20 Nov 92 09:24:05 CST
Subject: The Japanese do it better!

Screw all the ethnocentics out there! If you feel like flamming me for
this:  Don't! Save your computer!

As I was watching Godzilla vs. Megalon (I had taped it and it took me
until today to watch it) and I think its one of the best Mst3k's I've
seen. As I was wondering why, a thought hit me. I love Mst3k, and I
watch it every weekend. So me of the shows are a little less
entertaining then others....I couldn't put my finger on why, until my
girlfried piped up and said "It all depends on the movie that they are
watching." The more stupid the movie, the less interesting the show. As
I thought about it, I remembered all the Japanese offerings that I've
seen (Rocket Attack U.S.A comes to mind) and I came  to a conclusion:

    THE JAPANESE DO BAD BETTER THAN AMERICANS!

As an example, think about Sidehackers, American Ninja I and American
Ninja II, ad nauseum. Godzilla vs. Megalon, the many Gamera
movies....all of them are my favorite. I also have tapes of UltraMan
and Johnny Sako (sp) and I love love them all. I also think Joel and
the gang are funnier with the Japanese movies.  Let me know what you
think......


REVIEW: This is Mst3k documentary was a little lacking in substance. I
was hoping to see a little behind the scenes descriptions of how they
work together. They did hit on the aesthetic ideas and the total
originality that the show exhibits.

Well, that's my two cents worth.........Signing off!

Ben Ricker  [e-mail]
University of Missouri at St. Louis

---------

From: [e-mail]
Date: 27 Nov 92 19:30:00 EST
Subject: Unauthorized type-up of Washington Post 11/26/92 article

"Play Mistee for Me"
Tom Shales
Washington Post
Nov. 26, 1992

You know you're just a little too fond of a television program
when:
(A) You hang up on your mother because you notice this week's
episode is about to start.
(B) You get teary-eyed at the first notes of the closing theme
music.
(C) You drop friends who don't like it as much as you do.
(D) You seriously think about mentioning the show in your will.

For fans of "Mystery Science Theater 3000," seen Saturday mornings
and nights on cable's Comedy Central, only extremes of devotion
will do.  Set in outer space and produced in Minneapolis, "MST3K"
is the show on which a human male and his robot pals sit around
watching old movies and making fun of them, forced into this
gleeful misery by two really mad scientists who launched them into
orbit.

Wacky?  Nutty?  Cuckoo-magookoo?  Yes, yes, and, er, yes, but
incredibly endearing and gigantically funny.  The human male (Joel
Hodgson as Joel Robinson) is great, the robot pals are great, and
the old movies are awful to the nth degree.  Maybe even the pth
degree.  The vth degree!  Heck, let's just go all the way: the zth
degree.  And yet the show can become an obsession quicker than you
can say "Calvin Klein."

On behalf of the legions of Mistees, as true believers are called,
Comedy Central has produced a half-hour documentary tribute, "This
is MST3K," which premiered recently and airs again today at
midnight and tomorrow at 2:30 p.m.  In addition, what most mere
mortals consider Thanksgiving is for fans of the show (also, alas,
merely mortal) another kind of Turkey Day, when Comedy Central
offers a 30-hour marathon of "MST3K" episodes, most of them reruns.

The marathon began at 6 p.m. yesterday and continues until late
tonight.  While Comedy Central still cannot be seen on District
Cablevision, it is available in Montgomery County, Arlington and on
other area cable systems.  The channel just added about 400,000 new
subscribers to its national roster.

What is it about "MST3K" that so fascinates and preoccupies its
viewers and the 20,000 members of the MST fan club?  On "This is
MST3K," Dan O'Shannon, one of the producers of NBC's "Cheers,"
remembers his first close encounter with the program.  "It was
hysterical," he says.  "It was the first time I'd laughed out loud
in years.  And I just kept laughing out loud."  Perhaps he is
laughing out loud even now.

Neil Patrick Harris, star of ABC's "Doogie Howser," says he loves
the show because it has that "homemade" look, as though it were
produced not in a big studio but in somebody's garage.  Writer Ben
Svetkey of Entertainment Weekly says, "I don't know anybody who's
a fan of this show who doesn't tape it, who doesn't watch the thing
like their life depends on it."

In addition to these and other fans who appear, America's most
distinguished and, indeed, most beloved TV critic (first name: Tom.
Age: No one knows for sure) also graciously participated in the
tribute.  And for no money.  Just a lousy T-shirt.  Which he had to
give away.  Because it was too small.  But he isn't bitter.  Not
about that anyway.  What is he bitter about?  You don't have time
for that right now.  You have to get on with your life.

The documentary, produced by Gloria Banta, offers clips from
various episodes ("Jeez, this has more pauses than a Pinter play,"
groans robot Tom Servo at one point) plus little glimpses backstage
at the show.  While the show is hard work, one gets the feeling
that the people making it are enjoying themselves, and this
feeling, an infectious sense of esprit de corps, is relatively rare
in television.

Other than being on the writing staff of "Late Night With David
Letterman," the "MST3K" gig would seem to be one of the most
desirable spots in television right now, especially for arrested
adolescents, incurable wise guys and people who aren't quite ready
for their college years to end.  The job would be comparable to
working on "Monty Python" or "SCTV" when they were at their
delirious peaks.

The marathon includes two new features--that is, new to "MST3K."
One of them is "The Beatniks," an execrable piece of pap directed
by of all people Paul Frees, a famous announcer and Hollywood
voice.  There isn't one single character anywhere in "The Beatniks"
who looks or acts anything like a beatnik.  But superimposed in the
lower right-hand corner of the screen, Joel and the 'bots merrily
tear the thing to shreds.  Along the way, they flex their reference
muscles as they do on every show, citing innumerable other films,
songs, books and TV shows in the course of their smart-alecky remarks.

"Beatniks" prompts references as diverse as Frances Farmer, Willie
Mosconi, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Oscar Wilde, Jimmy Durante and the
Hudson Brothers, a forgotten pop group.  There are also mentions of
films ranging from "Ocean's Eleven" to "Taxi Driver" to "Midnight
Cowboy," and such TV shows as "What's My Line?," "Crossfire," "The
Jetsons" and "Kolchak:  The Night Stalker."

And in a gesture to warm the rarely warmed cockles of at least one
former Midwesterner's heart, one of the robots suddenly sings out,
"HUdson 3-2700," which for years was the phone number of Chicago
rug-cleaning firm, sung at the end of all its commercials by an
anonymous deep bass voice.

No, you never know what will pop up on "MST3K."  It's not just a
show, it's a recycling program.  It reprocesses the wretched refuse
of American culture into gleaming zircons of crystalline wit.
Or... pretty darn close.

Among the resident zanies appearing on the tribute are Hodgson, who
originally created the show for local TV in Minneapolis; writers
and costars Trace Beaulieu, who plays mad scientist Clayton
Forrester, and Frank Coniff who plays "TV's Frank"; producer-writer
Jim Mallon; and writers Michael Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Paul Chaplin.

Bless them all.  They're all geniuses, that's right, geniuses, and
every single episode of "MST3K" is a triumph, a gem, a masterpiece,
and--yes!--a reason to live.

fin

[typist's comments follow]

This article ran on Thanksgiving Day!  By the time most people woke
up and read the paper, it was already halfway through the marathon
and all the blank videotape stores were closed in preparation for
Friday's shopping onslaught.  Why couldn't the Post have run the
article on Wednesday?  Or maybe Tuesday so people could make
arrangements to leave work early to start the VCR (although I
suspect the average Misty preprograms/is his/her/its own VCR).
Maybe the article could even have included a schedule, since the
Washington Compost doesn't carry listings for Comedy Central...

The other bad news is that Shales spends more column-inches talking
about the show that talks about the show than in talking about the
show itself.  (Am I making sense here?)  But the good news is that
he doesn't even mention Penn Gilette.  Of course, there's no
mention of Crooow! either.  Crow's *MY* favorite.  The rest of them
can go die, IMHO, and Crow T. Robot could carry the show by
himself.  But I digress.

It is my sincere hope that MST3K stays right where it is:  Marooned
in space on the Satellite of Love.  It's when mainstream TV
reviewer guys in major metropolitan markets like Tom Shales get
their little critic fangs into a show like this one that the
trouble starts.  Could anybody who would GIVE away his T-shirt
really be a fan?  I doubt it.  All Tom really wanted was to mention
the words "T-shirt" and "MST3K" in the same paragraph.  That will
plant the seed in the minds of merchandisers everywhere!  Next
thing you know, the MST coffee cups, lunch boxes, flexible action
figures and other commercial cash-ins will hit the streets.  MST3K
will get really big, then disappear.  The whole thing will
supernova just like the sport of Sidehacking did in the late
seventies.  After that, nothing left.  Oh, the humanity...

Thanks for putting me on the newsletter.  Here's my feeble attempt to
give something back to the great font of entertainment and knowledge,
the SOLN.

[ And it's made entirely of recycled electrons! --- Rsk ]

Charlie Hitselberger

---------

From: [e-mail] (Ben Scott)
Date: Fri, 27 Nov 92 21:15:14 MST
Subject: MST3K at Starcon - eyewitness report

(most of the below has already appeared on alt.tv.mst3k, but for those who
don't read the newsgroup, here it is again...)

As most of you know by now, Best Brains made their first collective
appearance at a science-fiction convention this past September at Starcon
'92 in Denver.  Joel Hodgson, Jim Mallon, Trace Beaulieu and Kevin Murphy
were all present (Frank Conniff was, they said, left in charge of Deep
13...).  What follows is a fact-based report on the event as I experienced
it.  No names have been changed as no one is innocent.

Starcon is a biannual convention held by Starland, and is the biggest of
its kind in Colorado, typically headlining one or more castmembers from
Star Trek (either generation - Starcon '92 featured Brent Spiner) as well
as many other guests.  Attendance is in the thousands.  Leaving my personal
opinions about the con aside for the moment, it is professionally run and
is a fairly major event.  I believe that the organizers underestimated the
popularity of MST3k, since although their appearances were scheduled for
the main events room (several ballrooms with the dividers removed giving
space for well over 3,000 people at a guess - nearly big enough for its own
weather patterns), the appearance was not a prominent feature in the
pre-event publicity (they even misspelled Joel's last name several times),
and they didn't even run the "reserved seating" program during that time,
angering some fans (myself not among them) who paid extra for that
specifically to see the gang.

Friday evening was...  well, most weekend cons which start with Friday
evenings are pretty much the same - registration, then standing around
looking for people you know for the rest of the night.  I had my
custom-silkscreened Gizmonics jumpsuit with me but I was carrying it at the
time.  While talking to some fellow MST3k fans, I spotted Joel and a few
others just wandering around loose, not even being mobbed or anything, so I
went over and said hello to them.  It was Joel and Jim Mallon, producer and
voice of Gypsy, quickly joined by Kevin Murphy (Tom) and Trace Beaulieu
(Crow and Dr. F, and by the way, his last name is pronounced like "Bow
Loo" only faster).  My first impression was that Joel is considerably
shorter than he appears on TV, but then I realized that we never see him
standing next to other HUMANS, so it's understandable...  they are all
_extremely_ nice.  Over the weekend I was increasingly impressed by how
nice they continued to be, without coming across as being condescending - I
wouldn't have thought it possible, but they pulled it off somehow.  When I
showed Joel my suit, for example, he said "This is nicer than mine..." in
that familiar, sleepy delivery we all know and love.  Anyway, they were on
their way somewhere so after a few comments I went back to where I was
standing.  They were all dressed in modest earthtone suit jackets and
pants.  Trace lacked his usual moustache and so was a bit hard to recognize
at first, but Kevin Murphy I remembered from a host segment where he played
a cop.

Saturday - the first big show.  I arrived in the room about three hours
early in hopes of working my way forward to get a front-row seat.  I thus
sat through Brent Spiner's talk (which he had to leave early in order to
get to LeVar Burton's bachelor party, he said) as well as another guest,
but I finally made it up to the front and picked out a center seat.
At last, they arrived, to a wildly cheering near-capacity crowd (which is
saying something for a room that size).  Their presentation was fairly
informal - Jim did much of the talking.  It began with a brief explanation
of the show, which nobody in the room needed unless someone in the back was
trapped from an earlier event.  They showed a collection of clips from the
_very_ early days of the show which were quite fascinating, or would have
been if I could've seen them, but shortly after the lights went down
someone grabbed my wrist and pushed me up onstage.  It turned out to be
Joel, who whispered to me to stand in his place while he went and took my
seat...  when the lights came up, there was me (in my bright red
Gizmonics-logo jumpsuit) standing between Trace and Kevin, while Joel is
getting up out of my seat and wondering out loud how I got up there...  it
was over so quickly I barely remember what really happened, but I am
assured by others with a better view that it was funny.  I did see the
clips the second day, and they included some early promos from their KTMA
days, as well as shots from behind the scenes.  It was really interesting -
all the 'bots were different, but...  kinda the same, in an odd way...
Crow and Servo (no "Tom") were built along the same basic lines but not as
elaborately; Gypsy appeared to be made out of girders and spoke with
inarticulate croaks.  Joel had long hair, and all the sets were less
elaborate (in fact Deep 13 looked like one of the station's control
booths...).  I'm told they'll be running this collection of clips as part
of the behind-the-scenes shows during Turkey Day.  Anyhow, after those
clips, they talked a bit more about the early days (they began with a
budget of $50 per show!), and then took questions for the rest of the hour.

They livened up the question sessions by passing out dollar bills...
they all came with big wads of dollar bills, especially Kevin, and anyone
who asked a question, or sometimes just standing in the question line, or
near the stage, or just anyone really, would get a dollar slipped to
them...  there were also bumper stickers and photos passed out much more
rarely.  One little girl, perhaps 5 years old, asked a question (which I
forget) that they liked so much they not only gave her a dollar and a
bumper sticker, but Trace offered her the little table which held the ice
water pitchers while Joel began maneuvering a large TV monitor towards
her...  it was spontaneous.  but almost coordinated, and very funny.  They
all, in fact, appeared very comfortable with each other and the crowd,
professional yet informal.  There was one scene where Joel and Kevin began
"arguing", and within seconds, it escalated to the point where Trace and
Jim were holding them apart and Joel, livid with rage, shouted "YOU WANT A
PIECE OF ME?!?"...  (this was really bizzare coming from someone we're used
to seeing so soft-spoken)  It was as smooth as though they'd rehearsed it,
yet so real I would've sworn it was spontaneous.  They'd all indulge in a
bit of horseplay when they weren't personally answering a question - for
example, at one point a small boy ran up near the stage to get a
photograph - Trace jumps off the stage and mugs for the camera - would have
been a great shot except that he was about 1 inch from the lens...  Funny
as anything, though.  Kevin did his share of posing for cameras too,
proudly displaying his Servo-esque figure to the appreciative crowd...  At
other times Trace would pull out a rubber band and begin shooting folded-up
dollars into the first few rows of the audience.  (all this money
distribution was extremely funny the first day but a few people got greedy
the second day and the joke was rather spoiled - at the end, though, they
just tossed out the cash in big wads, causing a scramble in which I was
almost trampled...  I didn't even get a dollar from it, though I got two
dollars in the question line) Both days were more or less the same - not
repetitive, just equally good.

Other than myself and one other fan (Donna, who traveled all the way
from Minneapolis with her green Gizmonics lab coat), nobody was dressed in
an MST3k-related costume that I saw, unless you count the guy in the Ro-Man
outfit (gorilla suit and space helmet) seen in the question line.  In fact,
one person at the con thought I was dressed as a character from "V"...
(kill him.)

They signed autographs both days - all four of them would sign each item
presented (they'd sign their character names unless asked).  There were
photo opportunities all around - Joel carried a little camera in his pocket
which he'd use from time to time.

Overall, it was a great experience to see them, and I think they had a good
time as well, despite the really bad songs some of the con staffers dreamed
up to introduce them...
--
Ben Scott, professional goof-off and consultant at The Raster Image, Denver
Internet [e-mail], or call the Arvada 68K BBS at [phone].|