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From [e-mail]  Fri Jul 10 16:03:18 1992
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Date: Fri, 10 Jul 92 16:03:02 EDT
From: [e-mail] (Richard Kulawiec)
Posted-Date: Fri, 10 Jul 92 16:03:02 EDT
Message-Id: <[e-mail]>
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Satellite of Love News #24
Status: OR

A note from your editor...

I've just returned from a couple of weeks in the hills of West Virginia,
where the Whitewater River God saw fit *not* to break my bones for a change.

Most of the items in this issue were actually sent along a few weeks back:
some had trouble getting through because we were off the air for a week,
and others arrived while I was gone.  Anyway, I've got enough material
for another issue that will follow on the heels of this one, so if you
don't see your submission here, wait for #25.


From: [e-mail]
Date: Fri, 12 Jun 92 17:33:24 EDT
Subject: In re the long tracking shot down the corridor


> The sequence of travelling down the long corridor with all of the
> doors to the "movie theater" was actually ripped off from a
> sci-fi spoof film called "Dark Star."
>
> [...]
>
>  - Rob DeMillo
> [e-mail]

        I'm afraid that this isn't correct at ALL. No such sequence happens
in "Dark Star"-- it sticks to a good sense of realism, and the dungeon-like
sequence from MST just wouldn't have fit anyway. Wherever the sequence came
from, it wasn't from "Dark Star."

        By the way, Dan O'Bannon wrote the film, acted in it (rather well, I
thought) and designed the special effects... and John Carpenter directed it
and did the music. (Greg Jein designed the space ship model with a
pocketknife and a block of styrofoam-- he later did the mothership in 'Close
Encounters' with a slightly larger budget.)

----------

From: snopes  12-Jun-1992 0807 <[e-mail]>
Date: Fri, 12 Jun 92 08:12:12 PDT
Subject: In ee Marooned and 2001

Brian Warling wrote:

>Did anyone notice that last week TNT showed Marooned as part of their
>"favorite" movies series?  What movie did TNT broadcast right after Marooned
>as part of this double feature?  2001: A Space Odyssey.

When these two films were in their original theatrical releases (back in the old
days when theaters actually showed *two* movies), they were frequently paired
as a double feature.  I watched "Marooned" several times but, as an 8-year old,
I didn't have the patience to sit through "2001".

Incidently, this was the first MST3K movie that I had actually seen "normally"
ahead of time.  I was somewhat surprised that they cut scenes out, although I
guess they have to, given the time constraints.

- snopes

----------

From: [e-mail] (Chris n Vickie)
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 92 15:27:15 CDT
Subject: Kate Bush trivia

Paul "Monty" Ashley writes:
> Transcription time! First host segment ("The debts we owe to space travel"):

Wonderful stuff deleted...

> [And more that I missed, until . . .]

Somewhere in here (as Joel & Co. were seating themselves) was:

"Kate Bush"

(We can't help but notice when our favorite artist is mentioned)
Vickie'n'Chris
[e-mail]

[ I think maybe a Kate Bush/Yanni duet would be perfect music
for an MST3K segment... ---Rsk ]

----------

From: [e-mail] (jenkins lisa)
Date: Mon, 15 Jun 92 16:36:07 CDT
Subject: MST3K--IT'S ALIVE!

From a post card:

                                  IT'S ALIVE!

      [Picture of Frank and Forrester looking worriedly into the camera.]

                         A special, super-secret pre-
                        publicity announcement for our
                            loyal Midwest Misties:

                                    MYSTERY
                                SCIENCE THEATER
                             ALIVE! (copyrighted)
                                 An Experiment

                                Uptown Theatre,
                                  Minneapolis
                             Midnight Show Friday,
                                   July 10th
                            Saturday Family Matinee
                                   July 11th

                      Tickets Available Starting Thursday
                       June 11th At TicketMaster Outlets
                        At Dayton's Or Call Your Local
                        TicketMaster Tickets By Phone.


Dear Info Club Member:

Here's your chance to beat the rush for tickets to the first ever MYSTERY
SCIENCE THEATER ALIVE! *before* the show is announced to the general public!
This is a special live performance of _Mystery Science Theater 3000_, done for
the first time before a live audience at Minneapolis' legendary Uptown
Theatre.  This is truly an experiment, and boy, are we nervous.  The only
result we're sure of is lots of fun for you, you lucky dogs.

_Mystery Science Theater 3000_ and the characters therein are trademarks of
Best Brains, Inc.

All rights reserved.

COPYRIGHT BEST BRAINS, INC 1992


[ Also noted by Arthur Goldstein. ---Rsk ]

----------

From: [e-mail]
Date: Wed, 24 Jun 1992 16:40:39 -0500 (CDT)
Subject: Transcriptions, Dark Star, drawings, and woozles

Hiya, hiya, hiya!  I'm back again and I'm going to address a couple of
odds and ends I thought of after reading the last newsletter...

First, I'd like to express my thanks to those who've taken on the task
of transcribing the more memorable segments of our favorite show.
Aside from the occasional mis-translation, it affords me a better
chance at getting some of the jokes I might otherwise have missed.
Next, I'd like to ask the transcribers if they've done "Clay and Lar's
Flesh Barn."  The song appeared in the first season and was pretty darn
funny.  I'd sure appreciate it if someone could take a moment and run
that one up for me.

This next part is in reply to Rob DeMillo, who felt that the
multi-doored hall that leads to the theater is a take off from the
movie Dark Star's computer control room.  Both my husband I have one
response:

You're high, man!

I went back to the special edition copy we have of the movie Dark Star
and looked very carefully at the shots that Rob referred to.  My own
conclusions are that there are only vague similarities:

Both are miniature sets.  Both involve dolly shots carrying the viewer
forward.  Both involve doors.

But there, the resemblance ends.  The differences are:

In Dark Star, the dolly shot to the computer involves only one door and
that one doesn't open for the viewer.  That door is labeled 'Computer
Room'.  The computer room itself is lined with monitors and has one
large one on the wall opposite the door.  Except for a small amount of
footage outside the room, no hallway per se is involved.  MST3K has
multiple doors that all open as we travel down the hall.  These doors
are numbered (just as the leader in film reels counts down) and each
one opens in a different direction than the previous one.  And none of
the doors look alike.

Dolly shots have been used many many times in SF films and there are
other examples that match as well or better than Dark Star;  2001:A
Space Odyssey, for instance.  MST3K DOES closely parallel Dark Star in
the use of household items (especially ice cube trays) on the bridge
sets though.  Look closely at Pinback's microphone sometime.  It's
actually a stereo-headphone plug.  His 'Diary' is an 8-track tape
cassette.  Bomb #20 is kit-bashed from a model of a semi-truck trailer, etc.

My husband and I as well as dozens of our friends, all sing the theme
from Dark Star ("Benson Arizona") at our New Year's parties instead of
Auld Lang Syne.  That movie has been near and dear to our hearts for a
very long time.  I once went through the trouble to find out why the
theme song was called 'Benson Arizona'.  After calling and having a
message relayed to John Carpenter, (now a big famous movie
director/producer), he sent back a message saying that they chose
Benson because one of the filmmakers had gone through there once and
thought of it as being pretty forsaken.  How's that for trivia?

Further on in the last MST newsletter, I noticed that Lisa Jenkins
mentioned seeing a drawing displayed in the Best Brains lobby that she
had also seen at the science fiction convention MiniCon.  That drawing
was probably mine since I was also at MiniCon and to my knowledge, I
was the only artist who had MST3K art there.  Small world, eh?  Just
for those who might be wondering, my drawing shows (left to right)
Gypsy, Tom Servo and Crow.  I drew them all with their mouths open
since I initially wanted to use the drawing with the printed lyrics of
a song.  Later, I gave the Best Brains folks that drawing with
permission to use it copyright/cost free.  I felt they needed some
better art for their club certificate.  Jann Johnson said that the art
used on that certificate has not changed since they were doing the show
on a local (non-cable) station.

I also remember seeing mention of the line "He's a Woozle, and his name
is Peanut."  Just in case somebody doesn't know who this is, I think I
can clear the air.  I first saw Peanut on Johnny Carson.  It's a puppet
from a ventriloquist act that is perhaps one of the funniest things
I've seen in the way of stand up comedy in a long time.  Jeff Dunham
voices Peanut, a character who has a look all his own.  He has friendly
green eyes, large lips and a quirky smile, pink/purple 'skin', light
pink fur, a bare tummy with a navel and bare feet.  Perched on top of
his melon-like head is a small tuft of yellow ostrich plume that passes
for hair.  Whatever a Woozle is, that's what one looks like.  Dunham
plays straight man to Peanut's wise cracking remarks as well as
managing to carry on a six-way conversation with other puppets all at
the same time.  I was in hysterics the first time I saw the bit.

How do I know all this?  Jeff Dunham and Peanut will be appearing at
the Paramount Theater here in town February 13, 1993.  I recieved the
brochure for the theater's upcoming schedule today.  It even had a
photo of Peanut!  Cool!

More Next Time!
Mary Lynn J.

-----------

From: [e-mail]
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 92 19:04:55 EST
Subject: MST Bumper Sticker!

Just thought I'd mention that at the end of Earth vs the Spider you can see
a MST3K "Movie Sign!" bumper sticker on the desk.  I have one and was surprised
to see it there!

-Lazer (aka Patrick Delahanty) "The MST3K Sounds Guy."  [e-mail]

-----------

From: [e-mail] (jenkins lisa)
Date: Mon, 1 Jun 92 15:34:51 CDT
Subject: Yep, more articles....


So far Rich hasn't complained, so I guess I'm still safe (we hope!).

[ "There is no safety."  Rutger Hauer as "Wolfgar" in "Nighthawks". ---Rsk ]

Yes, I've found even more articles, this time from Joel's past as a
stand-up prop comic.  Enjoy!


From: Minneapolis Tribune
Date: June 16, 1982
Headline: Comic Makes World of Difference at Cabaret
Subline: A review
Author: Steele, Mike

This is an unauthorized reprint.

Joel Hodgson has only 15 minutes on stage at the Comedy Cabaret, wedged
between sets by the musical comedy troupe Modern Entertainment, yet he manages
to leave an indelible impression and almost single-handedly save an otherwise
desultory evening.

Hodgson has created a comic character that gets stronger and better defined as
his performing experience grows (he's only 22 now).  Sporting a hang-dog look
and an idiosyncratic punk haircut, Hodgson doesn't so much enter a stage as he
creeps on.  It's as though he's still wearing the scars of having to give book
reports in junior high school and would really rather be elsewhere.  He just
knows he's going to bore you silly, but he's got to get through this.

His introduction, delivered in a quiet, quivering monotone, is along the lines
of "Hi, I'm Joel Hodgson and I'm 22.  OK?"

Dressed in a white-coated tux, he's ostensible a magician.  He asks an
audience member to think of a card.  Then he puts the deck in some crazed
machine that winds up and throws the cards all over the stage.  Hodgson crawls
after them and tries to find a card that's, well, close to the one being
thought of.

But the comic magic soon veers off into some surrealist nether world that
Hodgson populates.  "How much time do I have?" he asks.  He's told 15 minutes.
He then reaches into his ever-present bag, pulls out a stack of dynamite, sets
a timer on it and says, "I guess we all have 15 minutes."

He knows he can get a red candle to change color, if it thinks it can change
color.  He then pulls out a Lizard King Godzilla puppet and has it hypnotize
the candle.  There follows a dizzying string of non sequiturs, throwaway
lines, and crazy props (including a tuna casserole that turns into a machine
gun).

He pulls out balloons and explains that he can make more than 700 different
animals out of them and will now do so.  But after the first he admits they
all end up looking like dogs.

Hodgson's world is a fascinating, vulnerable, existential one in which he
seems to have only scant control, yet manages to constantly surprise and
delight as he hangs on.  He does go off into his own little world sometimes
but, as he explains, "They know me there."

I have a feeling that we'll all get to know him a log better before he's
through.

[...]

From: Minneapolis Tribune
Date: October 1, 1982
Headline: Local Comedian Gets Last Laugh in Competition
Photo(s): Joel Hodgson [at microphone]
Author: Strickler, Jeff

This is an unauthorized reprint.

When Joel Hodgson heard about some of the hotshot talent coming from as far
away as Los Angeles to enter the Twin Cities comedy competition--people who
had actually *been* on Johnny Carson's show, for heaven's sake, instead of
just watching it--he pretty much gave up any idea he might have had of
winning.

"I set my sights just on placing," he said.  "Some of these guys have 10
times--literally--the experience I have."

An appearance on _The Tonight Show_ might look impressive on a resume, but a
comedian can't take a resume on stage with him.  And when the comedians got on
stage for the finals of the Twin Cities Comedy Invitational Sunday night, it
was Hodgson, not the L.A. hotshots, who came away with the first-place prize.

"I was really surprised," Hodgson said this week.  "In fact, when I first won
the contest, I actually felt bad.  Some of these guys have been doing this for
10 or 11 years.  I've only been at it one.  I felt kind of bad for them."

His surprise was heightened by the way things had gone in the semifinal round
the week before.  He had consistently lost to the hotshots in the six judged
performances.

"Ed Fiala (from Los Angeles) got first every night but once," Hodgson said.
"In fact, I told him that he's the best comic I've ever seen.  And I still
think he is.  I think his act didn't come off (in the finals) because he uses
a lot of sound effects and we were in a big room where they were lost."

Fiala finished third behind Hodgson and local compatriot Jeff Cesario.  A
third Minnesotan, Alex Cole, was fourth in extremely close voting based on the
comics' presentation, material and audience reaction.

"We're talking about six points spreading the top four comics," Hodgson said.
"That's six points out of 300.  That's pretty close."

The difference might have been determination.  Before the hotshots arrived,
Cesario jokingly referred to the local entrants as the "no-name division" of
the competition.

"You do feel that you have something to prove," Cesario said after the
competition.  "You're out there gunning.  You know these guys have had a lot
of press.  You want to say, 'Hey, it's time somebody noticed me, too.'"

There is a bit of irony to Hodgson's victory over the L.A. hotshots.  Even as
he was competing last week, he was packing his bags.  He's moving next week--
to Los Angeles.

"I had been planning to move for a long time," he said.  "I had decided to
move at the end of September.  The contest didn't have anything to do with it.
It just worked out that way."

Winning the contest certainly didn't hurt, of course.  Besides the $500 prize,
Hodgson probably will be able to parlay his championship into some club dates
and/or cable TV appearances.  But even if that falls through, the contest was
good for one thing:  It proved that he can hold his own against the West
Coast's best.

"Things have been happening really fast for me," said Hodgson, 22.  "I've had
some big breaks.  Winning the contest certainly is one of them.  But I don't
believe there is such a thing as one big break that makes or breaks you.  I
think it's consistency--working hard for the little breaks and having them add
up."

It's an old and hackneyed cliche, but one Hodgson believes in:  He's serious
about his comedy.

"A lot of times when I sit down with the other comics and try to talk theory,
they say I'm being too serious," he said.  "I spend a lot of time thinking
about what I do and how it fits into the scheme of things.  I won't do
something just because it's funny.  Everything I do in an act is to set up
something else.  There's a focus there, and I spend a lot of time thinking
about that focus."

Hodgson had mused about the purpose of his comedy in an earlier conversation:
"I don't want to make people laugh to forget; I want to make them laugh to
remember.  I want to do something that means something."

He will be performing at 8 and 10:30 tonight and Saturday night at the Comedy
Gallery, upstairs at JR's 11th and LaSalle.  While it is the last time he will
play Minneapolis before he leaves, he is trying to keep it low-key.

"It's not a big farewell show," he said.  "It's more like Joel Hodgson goes
away."

Besides, the idea of a final good-by conflicts with his premise of comedy.

"I don't think my comedy ends at the point of impact, when the audience
laughs," he said.  "That's just the start.  I want people to remember (the
message), to think about it."

From: Minneapolis Tribune
Date: March 18, 1984
Headline: Three Area Comedians Think Los Angeles is the Way to Go
Subline: Welcome to Hollywood
Subline: COMICS: 'Time bomb' created a hubbub
Photo(s): Photo for the Star and Tribune by Jackie Sallow.  Jeff Cesario,
          left, and Joel Hodgson in front of the Comedy Store.  [Hodgson looks
          *very* shy!]
Author: Bream, Jon

WARNING!  A couple tiny, winy little MiSTie comment made by typist.  }B-)

This is an unauthorized reprint.

[...]

Many comics try to get discovered at the Improv or other L.A. comdey
sweatshops.  But this is the story of three comedians--Joel Hodgson, Jeff
Cesario and Louie Anderson--who left Minnesota and visited [Mitzi] Shore at
the Comedy Store.

Joel Hodgson is one of the hottest new comedians in Los Angeles.  He's been on
_Late Night with David Letterman_ twice and _Saturday Night Live_ three times.
In fact, he may be the only unknown comic to turn down an appearance on _SNL_,
but more on that later.

"He's going to do well," predicted Shore.  "He's univeral and appealing.  He
underplays a lot."

Hodgson, now 24, came to L.A. in October 1982.  He figured he had done
everything he could do comedy-wise in the Twin Cities.  He had just won the
local comedy invitational comepetition and all his buddies from Bethel College
in St. Paul were travelling.  One was headed to Alaska, a couple to Europe, so
Hodgson decided to go to the mecca of comedy and explore the possibilities and
"see if I had the goods."

The week after he arrived, he was booked into the Magic Castle to deliver his
deadpan survey of offbeat props--both found and homemade--that he pulls out of
an old leather satchel.  At the Castle, Hodgson met a producer of a cable TV
special.

"His wife's cousin was a producer at _Letterman_," Hodgson said.  "And I asked
him to send him my tape."

Letterman's producer liked Hodgson on tape and the comic auditioned for the
producer a few weeks later in L.A.  Three months after landing in L.A., fair-
haired, squinty-eyed Joel Hodgson, from Green Bay, Wis., by way of Eden
Prairie, Minn., was set for network television.

He later moved on to Showtime and HBO comedy specials; the talent coordinator
for one of the programs was a cousin of the talent coordinator for _Saturday
Night Live_.  The door opened last fall.

Twenty-five million people would see Hodgson on _SNL_, and he would end
up on the front page of the New York Post two days later.  It had to do
with one of his props, of course.  The _SNL_ prop department built him
a sophisticated-looking bomb.  During his routine, he pulls out a time
bomb and asks the producer how much time is left.  Then Hodgson set the
device and announces, "I guess we all have three minutes."

Afterwards, he took the bomb back to the hotel.  He dismantled it for packing
the next morning but it wouldn't fit in his duffel bag so he just left it in
his room at the luxurious Berkshire Place.  A maid discovered it ticking.  The
bomb squad was called and three floors of the hotel were evacuated.

"It made the front page of the Post and it was on the evening news," Hodgson
recalled.  "The whole thing about a comedian bombing.  At first it was pretty
scary.  The Berkshire Place was suing NBC and my agency, which is in New York
and L.A.  I didn't think it was funny at all.  I just needed to be home.  They
were calling me saying, 'We need you to come to New York tomorrow to clear
this up with the police.'  I was just going crazy.  It got too intense.

"_Saturday Night Live_ wanted me to come back the next week 'cause they wanted
to do a skit around it.  I told them no 'cause I needed to be home with my
family to get a bearing on things."

It's [sic] wasn't exactly big bucks he was passing up--$700 plus expenses.
(_Letterman_ pays him $500 plus expenses.)  But Hodgson has his pride.

He now finds himself on the fast track.  He's going to become a regular on
_Letterman_ (appearing every four to six weeks) and will have a budget to
build props.  He will be on the last _SNL_ of the season in May.  He gets
desirable slots at the Comedy Store.  He shares a manager with Gary Shandling,
the only person besides Joan Rivers to sit in for Johnny Carson on _The
Tonight Show_ in the past year.

Nevertheless, Hollywood hasn't changed Hodgson.  In fact, it's turned him
against the system.  "In a way, I want to fight Hollywood," he said over
Mexican food before going on at the Comedy Store one night.  "I like
Minneapolis and I don't like Hollywood right now.  I'd love to short-sheet it
somehow.  I go into readings for movies and TV shows and they're used to
talking to actors who'll do anything to get on a TV show.  I don't care that
much.  I'm not an actor.  I'm detached from having to need to get work.
There's something's [sic] real wrong with Hollywood.  That's why TV and movies
are so bad.  It's the bottom line.  Money and *this* will sell to Middle
America.  So I'm frustrated with what it is right now.  My act is based on
anti-show-business.  It's still possible to be honest within the boundaries of
the system.  But a lot of people aren't doing it."

Hodgson said he loves to create but doesn't like the attention that goes with
stardom and media exposure.  Anyway, he doesn't think stand-up comedy is for
him.  He wants to explore comedy video.  He's doing a treatment for a 10-
minute Joel Hodgson variety series for Showtime.  He's also planning to build
a collage sculpture on the roof of his apartment building in Los Angeles.

"I'm real glad people can embrace this thing I do," he said.  "I like to come
up with ideas and show people what I'm thinking.  It's fun now.  But I think I
want to go back (to Minneapolis) in a year or so.  I still get more stimulated
there than I do here.  Ideally, I want to move back to Minneapolis and make
comedy video."

[...]

From: Minneapolis Star and Tribune
Date: October 25, 1984
Headline: Comic Hodgson Quits While He's Ahead
Subline: Comedy's fun, but it's time to get back to reality.
Photo(s): Joel Hodgson [still perfecting that shy look.]
Author: Strickler, Jeff

WARNING!  Okay, okay.  More MiSTie comments by typist.  }B-)

This is an unauthorized reprint.

Joel Hodgson has had it all.  Fame.  Stardom.  Even an entourage.  People--
very important people--were clamoring for him.  David Letterman wanted him.
So did _Saturday Night Live_.  And HBO.  And Showtime.  And NBC honcho Brandon
Tartikoff.

Yes, he's had it all, but he's also had all that he can take.  He's not just
taking a sabbatical, he insists, but giving up show business.  He will perform
this weekend (in a gig that started last night) and next at the Comedy Gallery
and then quit.  After his last performance Nov. 4, he's even auctioning off
his magic props and stage clothes.

"I can't wait to be normal," he said as he munched on french fries and
a chicken sandwich earlier this week.  "I want this to be over with so
I can get back to normal.  I hope I'm forgotten real quickly.  I want
to be 'Joel Who?' real quick."

At 24, Hodgson is living in what many people would consider a dream come true.
In fact, he admits, he's living in his dream come true.

Just 3 1/2 years ago he was unknown Minneapolis comic stepping onto the stage
at the Comedy Cabaret.  Now he's performing on live TV in front of 20 million
viewers.

"It's always been my dream, ever since I was a little kid, to be on TV,"
he said.

And he's done just that.  He's been on _Late Night with David Letterman_ five
times.  He's been on _Saturday Night Live_ four times.  He's been on HBO.
He's been on Showtime.

But dreams are fleeting apparitions.  For Hodgson, it's time to get back to
reality.

"I never really thought of this as a lifetime career," he said.  "I
never felt my act was designed to go on forever and ever.  I'm not sad
about it.  It was great adventure to do all this stuff.  It's a nice
little career.  But it's not for me....  It's been a fantastic
experience, but I can't accept it as a real experience."

He said he's been considering quitting for 18 months.  He's analyzed it,
reanalyzed it and rereanalyzed it.  Each analysis confirmed that it was the
right thing to do.

"I don't want to wake up in six months and say, 'Oh my God, what did I
do!' And I don't think that's going to happen.  I've admitted that it's
the end of the story for me.  It was a great story.  It had a great
beginning, a great middle and a great end.

"But it's over.  I think that's why you see a lot of people go on
long after they've quit being funny, because they can't admit that it's over.

"I'm not going to miss it.  For one thing, I've always been convinced
that I was in comedy for a different reason than other people.  I never
felt that I needed the stage as much as they do.  I was much more
clinical.  While they were up there striking in the dark, I was a
speech-communication major in college.  For my senior project, I broke
down my act according to Nancy Harper's Paradigm of Communication.  I
really understood what I was doing."

Events also helped persuade him to quit.  One of the biggest was the brouhaha
that followed his decision last year to turn down an offer of a starring role
in a TV situation-comedy.

"That showed me just how strange Hollywood is," he said.  "It was a show
called _High School USA_, a rip-off of _Fast Times at Ridgemount High_.  It
was a bad show.  It was (NBC Entertainment President) Brandon Tartikoff's
baby, but it was terrible.  So I turned it down.

"And the people in Hollywood went crazy.  They offered me three times the
amount of money.  They couldn't handle it.  And I suppose I know why.  Here's
this kid, a nobody, turning them down.  And they had to go back to their boss
and say, 'This kid doesn't want to do your show because he doesn't think it's
funny."  And it wasn't; it ran three times and it was canceled.

"But the people in L.A. couldn't understand.  To them, it didn't mean much
that the show was bad.  They figure exposure on any show is good.  But if I'm
going to trade my face and my image to help someone else accomplish something,
I want to believe in what I'm doing.  And I couldn't believe in that show."

Nor could he believe in the way people responded when he tried to defend his
principles.

"They were patronizing.  They would say, 'Yeah, I really respect
that.'  It was so funny to hear that town talk, because that town is
really sick.  Everybody talks about it, but nobody does anything about
it.  If I had thought it through, I think I would have realized this
even sooner.

"In Hollywood, people cluster around you and tell you that you're a genius
after every show.  Whether the show was good or bad, it doesn't matter, people
come up and say they loved it.  I've looked at my shows.  I know some of them
were bad.

"But there's always this group of people around you patting you on the
back.  And if enough people come up and tell me I'm good, I start to
believe it.  Or at least I have to make them believe it so they will
relax.  You have to accept the lie--and I don't feel I could do that.

"Hollywood works on your ego.  They make you think you are bigger, better,
stronger, happier than the average person.  I know that's not true.  I can't
believe Erik Estrada has more fun than I do.

"(Hollywood) builds you up so that you dwarf everyone around you.  They make
my accomplishments seem huge and everybody else's seem small.  That's not
true.  I don't believe that."

For example, he said, he doesn't think his success on TV is any more
noteworthy than the success of a friend who has launched a furniture
refinishing business.  They each succeeded in what they set out to accomplish.
And the more Hodgson talked to his friends back home, the more he came to
realize that was where he belonged.

"I've been really fortunate to have brave and strong friends who would care
for me regardless," he said.  "They let me step back and see that all the
attention I was getting was for something I did, not something I was.  That's
nobody's fault.  That's the nature of what TV can do for you; it makes you
bigger than you are.

"Being known gets in the way a lot.  It's not any fun--it's terrible.
It's frightening.  Lots of people like me, but they don't really like
me, they like that person I've made up on stage.  They can't talk to
*me*--that's the worst part.

"And you never know why they're interested in you.  You'll be sitting
in a restaurant like this, and you'll notice that somebody across the
room is looking at you.  Why?  I don't know if they're looking at me
because they recognize Joel Hodgson or because I have food on my chin.
I can't be presumptuous and assume they recognize me.  But I can't be
naive, either.  It's horrible."

Before leaving Hollywood, Hodgson had one more thing to accomplish: proving
that he was leaving on his own terms.

People had been preaching to him that he was just a victim of burnout and
overload and that a complete makeover of his act would revitalize his
energies.  He didn't want to do that--in fact, he resisited for a long time--
but he finally took one shot at it, just to prove he could do it.

"On my last Letterman I did all stuff that nobody had seen," he said.  "It was
my move to break the traditional Joel mold.  It worked fine.  In fact, some
people throught it was my best stuff--but that's TV again.  But it proved that
I could break away from my club material.  It proved that I could keep going.
I wanted to feel that it was my decision (to quit), not theirs.

"Everybody was saying, 'Grow and evolve.'  I think I can do that, but
what good would it do.  My comedy now is based on something that is
very real.  But if I react to what is not real, then it's not real,
it's not correct.  I would not subject myself to that.  I would not
subject other people to that.  I'd rather let the act go to sleep."

As his retirement date grows closer, Hodgson is growing more comfortable with
his decision.  He wants to write a book on magic, and he's under contract to
develop some new magic tricks.  But he also plans to get a job, perhaps with
his friend who refinishes furniture.

"I've gotten so much credit every time I've done Letterman," he said.
But I've never gotten credit for doing a good job.  Now I feel I have
to do that.  I've never been a good worker--a regular, normal worker.
I would like to be a good worker."

From: Minneapolis Star and Tribune
Date: April 8, 1985
Headline: Crystal Court Never Mean for Standing Room Only
Author: Flanagan, Barbara
Note: This is a column.

This is an unauthorized reprint.

[...]

So what does a young comedian do when he hits the top, meaning the Johnny
Carson _Tonight Show_ and decides he doesn't want to stay there once he moves
back home to Minnesota?

Joel Hodson remains as inventive off stage as on, and he's happier about it.
Right now he one-of-a-kind "robot" figures are on sale exclusively at Props,
Greg Meyer's new shop at Calhoun Square.

Hodgson's sense of humor shows in the materials he uses--all plastic objects
found in the house, including a baby's car seat, baby-bottle nipples, a
helmet, a view-finder and so on.  Go and see.

[...]

From: Minneapolis Star and Tribune
Date: May 5, 1986
Headline: Seinfeld and Hodgson
Subline: Comics Team Up for Cable Special
Photo(s): Jerry Seinfeld, left, and Joel Hodgson with a smoking mug, for
          people who like a cigarette with their coffee.
Author: Covert, Colin

This is an unauthorized reprint.

Laurel and Hardy, Martin and Lewis, Nicholas and May, stand alert!  Seinfeld
and Hodgson are about to stake a claim on your territory.

That's Jerry Seinfeld and Joel Hodgson, an unlikely pair of comedians
collaborating on a project that could be The Big Break for both of them.  In
an outrageously cluttered loft in a nondescript Minneapolis warehouse, they're
birthing a national cable TV special.

Seinfeld, 32, is a wiry New York standup comic who's considered by some to be
among the nation's brightest.  A frequent guest on _The Tonight Show_ and
_Late Night with David Letterman_, he's eager to step into the spotlight on
his own.

Since Seinfeld's hot enough to attract a sizable audience, but not so hot
that he'd be expensive to hire, the Showtime cable service has given him a
"pretty definite" commitment for an hour-long special.  That could mean about
6 million viewers.  Now all he has to do is give them an hour's worth of
fresh, entertaining material--in two weeks.

That's where Hodgson comes in.  The 26-year-old Minneapolis *wunderkind* burst
brilliantly onto the national scene several years ago with elaborate sight
gags and high-tech special effects.  But after multiple appearances on the
Johnny Carson show and _Saturday Night Live_, he felt uncomfortable with the
pace and pressure of performing.

Hodgson abruptly retired to pursue his interests as an inventor and sculptor.

The pair met during Seinfeld's appearance at the Comedy Gallery in November.
Seinfeld's idols are middle-of-the-road comics like Bill Cosby and Robert
Klein, and Hodgson's favorites are wild men like Jonathan Winters and Andy
Kaufman, but they got on famously nonetheless.  When the Showtime deal
emerged, Seinfeld recruited Hodgson as his co-writer and all-around idea man.

So far they have generated a lot of funny material, but haven't found a
framework to hang it on.

"The only thing we don't have is the theme," Seinfeld said.  "We have tons of
jokes."

"You know those buttonhole flowers that squirt water?" Hodgson offered as an
example.  He connected a canister of pressurized propane to a length of
flexible tubing.  Holding the tube's open end at chest level, he snapped a
lighter and unleashed a geyser of flame.  "Jerry's gonna be all charred after
this.  He'll fall over, his hair will be smoking."

In Hodgson's chaotically littered warehouse "office," the creative process is
not pretty.  The scene is one-third da Vinci's workshop and two-thirds pigpen.
One a messy workbench a jar of bloodshot plastic eyeballs stands beside a
toothbrush whose handle is a realistic-looking pink plastic squid.  Battered
video equipment balances precariously on dilapidated kitchen chairs, and a
fine patina of grunge covers everything.

But from such rich creative mulch do ideas emerge.  "I just build stuff to
come up with ideas," Hodgson said.  "I'm like Uncle Fester.  Always working."

The process of creating a comedy special doesn't resemble work as most people
know it.  It involves lots of apparently aimless converstation and giggling.

"We just sit down and talk, and funny things come up," Seinfeld explained.  "I
was sitting on top of a sofa, and he asked me why I was sitting there.  I said
I'd never been up there before.  And we got on the idea of all the spots in
your home where you've never been.  You spend hours and hours in your own
house and you get so bored but you never explore it," he said with mounting
enthusiasm.  "You could go have sandwiches with your clothes in the closet,
hang around under the dining-room table, put a chair in the shower and read."

Hodgson laughed an Seinfeld quieted down again, but his restless comic energy
simmered almost tangibly beneath the surface.  With two professional comedians
in the same room, it's like a volcano: only a matter of time before the next
eruption.

The centerpiece of the special as it's shaping up is a visit to a vast
research facility where jokes are developed and tested before being released
to comedians, Hodgson explained.  "We're thinking of a scene like in the James
Bond movies where Q shows him the new equipment they're working on.  That'll
be where the flamethrower flower comes in, and the hovercraft skirt."

Seinfeld's eyes light up.  The sequence will be the opposite of Marilyn
Monroe's skirts being blown up over her head in _The Seven Year Itch_.  "It'll
be Newton's Third Law applied to that.  If the dress blows up then there
should be an equal force down.  Enabling her to travel that way."

"It'll really work," interrupted Hodgson.  "It'll fly around, go over water.
But they have problems with the dress; it keeps spinning, tilting over,
hurting people.  We're going to have a fashion model smoking a cigarette among
all these technicians."  Hodgson assured the role, slouching against a wall
with studied test-pilot nonchalance.  "She says," (he mimed dropping a
cigarette and stubbed it out with his toe) "'I can ride that dress.'"

The payoff for Hodgson, if the project gets the go-ahead, will be getting to
see some ideas that are too big for his workshop, like the hovercraft skirt,
become reality.  The trick, Seinfeld acknowledges, will be creating ideas
audacious enough to crack up an audience without giving Showtime's accountants
a coronary.

"It's tricky," he agreed, "but comedy's always a gamble.  Every time I deliver
a punch line I have no idea whether there's going to be a laugh.  Sure, this
is a tremendously frightening stretch, so what else is new?"