ftp.ee.pdx.edu/2014.02.ftp.ee.pdx.edu.tar/ftp.ee.pdx.edu/pub/frp/Archives/1292

Internet Message Format | 1995-12-08 | 23KB

Path: usenet.ee.pdx.edu!cs.uoregon.edu!sgigate.sgi.com!swrinde!newsfeed.internetmci.com!in2.uu.net!not-for-mail
From: [e-mail] (Eric Reaves)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.archives
Subject: STORY: Wasted Knights (pt 3)
Followup-To: rec.games.frp.misc
Date: 6 Dec 1995 11:09:53 -0500
Organization: NETCOM On-line Communication Services (408 261-4700 guest)
Lines: 437
Sender: [e-mail]
Approved: [e-mail]
Distribution: world
Message-ID: <4a4f8h$[e-mail]>
NNTP-Posting-Host: rodan.uu.net


WASTED KNIGHTS IN NEHWON  (part 3)

DISCLAIMER:
This story is provided purely for your entertainment.  There
are no real people depicted in this, nor is there a lesson to
be learned, and anyone trying to read elements of moral,
intellectual or allegorical intent into it will be tracked down
and killed or forced to join the gaming group whose efforts to
avoid reality through Role Playing are generating this fable.

Trademark Stuff:
Nehwon, Lanhkmar, and Assorted Names of Characters, which when first
referenced, are indicated with (tm), were created by Fritz Leiber. The
story itself has been transcribed from the interaction generated during
play of several "Lanhkmar" modules created by TSR.  The copyright is
owned by Eric Reaves, Lori Reaves and probably various other folk that
had a hand in playing the games, as well as MPGN, which is where Nehwon
lives in the meeting rooms.  No association or representation with TSR
or MPGN of any type is implied nor is to be inferred from mention of
their creations in this work.  You may not copy this if you are going
to sell it, nor may you modify it for any reason if you do copy it to
distribute to other people that have not seen it yet.

Characters:

Talon :  Big/Huge Northerner (barbarian race) with decidedly
martial air.  Uses a bastard sword and wears chain mail.

Elbert:  (Don't remember his race, think it was) Northerner.
Uses daggers and shortsword and wears leather armor.

Gilgamesh: Nehwon Ghoul - Transparent flesh, skeletal
appearance, Medium sized.  Uses an Ax and spiked shield.
Ghouls do not wear armor.  It would detract from the splendid
appearance their bones give.

Minneatonabal: Mingol warrior wearing leather with a bow, shield
and saber.
Oh, and of course Bill.  Her bosom companion, trusty mount and
hell of one BIG Buffalo.


During the next few weeks, our little group of significant characters (I have
always had trouble calling them heroes with a straight face) lived pretty high
on the money they had earned from Braggi and Sirden.  Several of them
commissioned weapons, purchased armor, became intoxicated and even put on
weight from previous periods of hardship.

There were only 2 items of note for the entire group during this time.. well,
I guess it was really 3 items.  First, we had another character stumble up to
the table and join our group since he had nothing better to do at the moment.

Basher - (Yet another!) Northerner whose weapon looks like a shortsword, but
he swears it is called a drusus.  He wears that flashy half armor that you see
the gladiators wear in the ring.

##could you have guessed by this time that Northerners get a strength
adjustment?

Second , the price of metal armor is 6 times higher than anyone would have
Anticipated.  We have not figured out the rationale behind this yet, unless it
is some plan by the Overlord to make sure his soldiers have the upper hand in
any street brawl.

Minn: "Let me have a set of that smallish sized chainmail there please."
Rivis Rightby (tm): "Sure.  That will be 300 rilks and I will need to
see...."
Minn: "HOW THE HELL MUCH DID YOU SAY IT IS?"
Rivis: "300 gold rilks. Why? Is that cheaper than you have ever seen it
before?"
Minn stutters and stammers and finally spews out, "300!  I can not afford
300!"
##I told you in the last episode that she had spent a lot on outfitting didn't
I? ;-)
Rivis: "Then it is just as well, and I won't have to remind you that you need
a permit to wear it."
Minn: "Permit?!?!  You have to have a permit to wear this stuff!?!?  Good
grief!  How about a used set of armor?  Would that be cheaper?"
Rivis: "That would depend on what size the previous owner was."
Minn: "Well OK then.. do you know where there are any of the city guard that
are about my size?"

And third, Talon became extremely shy and reluctant to venture outside the
Inn.

Talon pokes his head out the door of his room and looks around..  seeing
nothing he sneaks down the stairs and eats breakfast in the kitchen.

Gilgamesh: "Talon, ...."
Talon: "YOW! I am sorry, I didn't...  Oh, it is you Gilgamesh.  Don't sneak up
on a fellow that way.  Can't you see I am busy eating?"
Gilgamesh: "It looks like you are busy eating your heart out.  Why are you
hiding and skulking around like this?"
Talon: "Who is? Not me!  I have nothing bothering my consci..  Say, did that
door just move?"

After some brow beating, Talon admitted that he had just suffered a reverse in
his circumstances.  Previously he had been a Lieutenant in service to the
Overlord.  After the episode with the wine and working for hire as a guard in
the Silver Eel here, he had become a Soldier of Fortune.

Apparently the Overlord did not like divided loyalties.  Talon spent the most
of several weeks hiding and trying to keep out of sight of the city guard.  I
think he set a record for time spent sitting in the privy.

There were also some independent actions occurring.

Gilgamesh, after fretting for several days about the bolt in his neck and
about the way it was making him feel about Hisvet, decided to get someone to
take it out.  Reasoning that only a wizard would be able to help with
something like this, he asked Braggi where one might be.

Braggi: "Wizards huh?  Well, there is always...  no, sorry.  His house blew up
the other day and killed him. Lets see, then there is.. oops, sorry, I forgot.
He disappeared last week leaving only his scarred up old cat behind in his
shop.  Hm....  I am sorry Gilgamesh I can not think of any right now."
Braggi: "Wait though, I have heard of a strange being in the swamps east of
here..  Sheelba(tm), I believe is the name I have heard the Twain using.  It
is supposed to live in a cave or something, though how a cave can exist in
that swamp is beyond me."
Gilgamesh: "It seems that I remember seeing such a cave in some of my
journeys, but who are the Twain?"
Braggi: "Why haven't you heard of them? The most famous adventuring duo in all
Nehwon?  AND I might add, without wanting to seem vain, my bosom buddies and
occasional debtors.  Their names are Fafhrd(tm) and the Grey Mouser(tm)."

So, Gilgamesh returns to the swamp to see if he can find that cave..  and he
does. (Ominous background music playing here.)

Gilgamesh yells into the hole, "Sheelba!  Are you in there?  Hello?  Sheelba?"

Suddenly, an ominous shadow falls ominously over Gilgamesh.  This he notices
even though he missed the ominous music.  Then from above comes, "GiLgAmEsH,
QuIt BoThErInG tHe BlAcK dRaGoN, hE iS NaPpInG aNd NoT DuE tO wAkE uP fOr A
fEw YeArS.  dOn'T wAkE hIm Up EaRlY, yOu WoUlD nOt LiKe HiM iN hIs GrUmPy
MoRnInG mOoD."  The voice is very rough, sounding as if it were produced by
rubbing rocks together (## and from now on, you will just have to imagine the
effect, for the typing is just too tough.)

Gilgamesh quickly notices something much more interesting to look at some
distance away from the 'cave' and continues the conversation from there.
"Sheelba?  Is that you?"
Sheelba: "And just who else would it be living in my house?"
Gilgamesh: "But you are supposed to live in a cave."
Sheelba: "Think about it, why would someone live in a damp cold cave if they
had such a wondrous abode as this is?  Besides, have you ever seen a cave in a
swamp that wasn't full of swamp water?"
Gilgamesh looks at the ratty looking hut perched precariously on top of an
indeterminate number of rotten looking poles and wonders the same thing.
(sorta.)

Anyway, Gilgamesh was invited up into Sheelba's hut which appeared to be MUCH
bigger on the inside than what it seemed from the out.  He and Sheelba talked
for a while and they agreed on an association.  S/He removed the bolt and
replaced it with something that had the same seeming to the eye and Gilgamesh
agreed to act as Heesh agent in unspecified situations.  Then he trotted on
back to Lanhkmar.

Talon, in his skulking about, apparently went through a door while dodging a
patrol, or did something else he never really remembered, that landed him in a
street he had never seen before.

The first thing he noticed was a strange short fellow wearing heavy metal
armor talking to a human wearing robes.  The short fellow was hardly over 4
feet tall, and almost that wide.  He carried all sorts of gear, in a
mountainous backpack stretching up several feet above his head, that did not
seem to encumber him at all.

Talon, being overwhelmed with puzzlement and underwhelmed with tact, asks
"What manner of man are you?"
Short Guy: "Why, no manner of man at all! Who, given a choice would choose to
be one of those beings?  No offense meant of course.  I am Garm, noble warrior
of Clan Bruechy!"
Talon: "Bless you.  Where did you say you were from?"
Garm: "Clan Bruechy."
Talon: "Bless you again.  Nevermind.  Say, do you know how to get to Grain
Street from here?"
Garm: (starting to feel like the big guy is teasing him) "No, never heard of
it. Are you sure you have not lost your wits as well as your way?"
Talon: (bridleing as well as Garm) "Nay, Short One.  And you should not make
fun of your betters, unless you can take the consequences likely to come from
such improper action."
Garm: (hackles fully risen by now) "Oh, rest assured, oh tall and vulgar one,
I can handle and return any amount of consequence that comes my way!  (And
rest you shall, in the hospital, if your continue with your illconceived
course of conversation!)

Fortunately, the Lord of Necessity(tm) and the Director of the Ghods for the
two different worlds noticed that one of the "heroes" had misplaced himself
and sent word to Ningauble(tm), Gossiper of the Gods who opened a portal and
snatched Talon off the street and back to his own world.

Well, sorta back to his own world.

Ningauble: "Well, Well, Well, I must say that you have been a very busy
fellow, traipsing around throughout the universes.  I am really surprised what
you heroes get yourselves into."
Talon: "Huh? Who are you?"
Ningauble: "I am Ningauble, and very glad to meet you, and if you just walk
down this tunnel and take the first left turn then the third right, why you
will be back in Bones Alley(tm) where you started from this morning."
Talon: "How did you know that?"
Ningauble: "We wizards have our ways, now go along like a good little hero and
do like I told you.  Third left and first right.  Go along now."
And since he doesn't have a choice about it, Talon does go along down the
tunnel, takeing the first left and the first left and the first left and the
first left and finds himself back in Bones Alley.

Several days later at mid-day, a fellow that looked like he was a member of
the Slayers Guild(tm) (according to Talon) sauntered up to the table.

Fellow: "I have a job for you.  Go investigate some suspicious disappearances
that have been occurring near Fleeria's House of Pleasure(tm)."

Talon and Gilgamesh: "OK."

And, just like that, with no further comment or investigation or promises of
remuneration, the group sallied forth to seek out something to do.  Actually,
everyone thought someone else in the party had arranged for the 'contract' and
was taking care of other matters as well.  Perhaps someone was, who can say
now?

The party traveled across town and questioned several shop owners and patrons
of different establishments in the area. They found out (guess what?!) that
people had recently been disappearing from near here.  The largest group to be
affected were prostitutes working at Fleeria's.  Snatched while out doing
charitable civic works no doubt.

While the men were all questioning  Fleeria about the disappearance of her
employees (at least that is what they claimed they were doing,) Minn and Bill
stumbled across a dead man in the alley behind the house.  By his clothes and
weapons, this fellow was apparently some member of the nobility, or at least
he had been.  Now he was a badly hacked and mangled corpse.

Since it was mostly women that seemed to be the victims in this ongoing
occurrence, the party decided to set an ambush....  with Minneatonabal as the
bait.

Minn: "You clowns want me to do WHAT?!?!?"
Talon: "Why it will be perfectly safe.  You just walk around in the back alley
here all alone while we watch from the upstairs windows there.. (Talon points
at the back of the bordello, where an attractive woman wearing no top is
soliciting business,) and when the bad guys come along, we will shoot them
down with arrows.  Gilgamesh can hide in the rubble over there and provide
some closer backup."
Minn: "Nuh-uh.  Nope.  No.  No-way.  No-time.  Never.  Not Me.  Not on your
life.  Negative.  Not safe.  Not smart.  Not even workable.  And I Am Not
gonna do it!!!"

So, with their plan made.. the party settles down for a long wait.  Talon,
Elbert and Basher inside the bordello carefully watching out the back windows
despite all the temptation to do otherwise, while Gilgamesh and Minn wait in
their respective positions in the alley.

Time passes.

More time passes.

The day softly glided into evening and (wouldn't you know it) a mist drifted
down the streets of Lankhmar.  About the time that Minn was finally going to
REALLY not go along with this anymore..  A couple of large bipedal creatures
(9' tall,) which upon first glance seemed to be wearing horned helms and
carrying large axes, loomed up through the darkness.  BIG HORNS by the way.
BIG AXES too.

Minn rapidly summons Bill and draws her saber to defend herself while
Gilgamesh launches himself at the... Minotaurs (?!?How did THEY get here?!?)

And of course, Talon loses the init again.

The Minotaurs swing their axes, hitting with the flat side (THUMP! THUMP!) and
Minn goes down with a graceful sigh (You IDIOTS! I KNEW this would happen! ..
siiigh, slump)

Gilg charges into the battle flailing his own ax (chop!) with the twanging
sounds of arrow music playing in the background. (twang, twang, twang, twang,
twang, twang!)

The Minotaurs deal with Gilgamesh in a hurry, and they don't hit HIM with the
flat of their axes (CHOPP! CHOPP!).

Gilgamesh, hurting a LOT, makes another of his possum plays, and one of the
Minotaurs goes down full of arrows. (twang, twang, twang, twang, twang,
twang!)

The other Minotaur picks up Minneatonabal, slings her over his shoulder and
makes ready to head for home. (Uh-oh!)  Fortunately for Minn, Gilgamesh rises
and strikes the Minotaur again, causing him to drop Minn (Ker-Floomp) on the
ground.  Fortunately for Gilgamesh, the Minotaur is a LARGE creature and the
DM graciously allows the bowyer boys upstairs to continue shooting at the
Minotaur without hitting Gilgamesh.  (twang, twang, twang, twang, twang,
twang!)

Finally, Bill catches up to the melee and runs the Minotaur down.  The
remainder of the battle was pretty much between the Buffalo and the Minotaur
(sorry, I can not do the sound for THIS spectacle justice) with Gilgamesh and
the inside crew either calling out encouragement to Bill or paying attention
to other distractions that just naturally occur in the type establishment they
were hidin.. er.. ambushing from.

Anyway, after it was all over, Elbert managed to track the slimy footprints of
the Minotaurs back to their lair in the sewers where the party discovered a
pretty immense hoard of cash and several employees of Fleeria.  Most of whom
were pregnant by now.  (Apparently Minotaurs are pretty potent creatures.)
The group fenced the goods and got the smaller coins changed at Ogo the
Blind(tm)'s shop.

Minneatonabal, just as grateful as she can be that she managed to survive yet
another of the party's plans, got to feeling sorry for the dead guy that had
previously been made into Minotaur sushi.  She made inquiries around the area,
discovered that the man was the son of Baron Thudd and carried his body home.
Baron Thudd took her to his heart and almost made her a member of the (now
reduced) family.  Which is how she finally got a license to wear chainmail in
Lankhmar.

The next day, the party was sitting around a table in the Silver Eel when 2
guardsmen came in the front door of the Inn and sat at the bar to have their
(they claimed) first drink of the day.  Talon, of course, chose that time to
try to sneak down to the kitchen.

Guard1: "(Sniff, Sniff) Well, well, well..  I believe I smell a rotten
stinking traitor pig!"
Guard2: "Naw, that aint a traitor pig..  Smells much worse than that..  I
believe it must be Ol' Lieutenant Talon.  He was the only thing I ever knew
that smelled that bad."
Guard1: (points) "Why looky there! It is him.  My sword hand has suddenly
become very itchy.  Why don't we go and let out a little of that useless hot
air he carries around inside him!"
Talon: "Eeek."

Of course, the entire thing degenerates into a generic brawl leading
eventually to the 2 guards being trussed up and carried upstairs for
questioning.. or whatever.

Gilgamesh had been wanting an interview with the Overlord.  He had been hoping
to restore Talon to his former position and had been searching for some way of
returning Talon to the good graces of the Overlord. With that thought in mind,
he began questioning the guards.

Gilgamesh: "How about telling us some stuff.. Like who it was told the
Overlord that Talon was working here at the Silver Eel?"
Guard1: "You'll never get an answer out of me, ya stinking ghoul."
Guard2: "Yeah, I ain't gonna talk to you at all!"
Gilgamesh: "Ah well, If you're not, then you're not.  I need some hors
deourves for a party this evening and your fingers look pretty tasty.  I might
as well get some benefit from you, don't you think?"
Guard1: "Ur.. Just exactly what did you want to know again?"

Basher, on the other hand, had not gotten in enough licks during the brawl and
tried to skip the questioning and get straight to the torture part.

Basher: <Stab!><Stab!>

Gilgamesh resented someone not allowing him to be the boss and decided to take
a swing at Basher.. with his ax.

Basher on the other hand, didn't care at all for Gilgamesh's feelings on the
matter.. and he won the initiative. He rolled 2 of the most natural 20's in
the world to knock Gilgamesh's ax and shield from his hands.  Then threatened
to skewer Gilgamesh if he didn't surrender and just shut up in general.

Gilgamesh muttered something ungracious about it looking like he had no choice
while Basher held his sword to Gilgamesh' neck and Basher accepted it and went
back to his previous activities.

Gilgamesh left the room while Talon or Basher were occupied and went back to
his room.  He sat there in his room getting madder and madder about the whole
thing. (I guess he just could not stand the thought of not being in control.)
He soon reached the stage of ranting and raving and stamping around inside his
room.  Braggi yelled at him to get quiet.  That made no big impression on
Gilgamesh, so Braggi sent Vorbas(tm) up to have him quiet down.

Vorbas opens the door to Gilgamesh' room and yells at him, "Yah better shut up
or I'll break yur hed!"
Gilgamesh, by this time was past reasoning with.  He was salivating and making
wheezing noises when he breathed and his speech was past understanding.
Snarling, "Gllrr-rragph Ouudam Maay!!!" he snatched up his new ax and shield
(delivered that day) and headed for the door.
Vorbas, seeing Gilgamesh come at him, hit Gilgamesh with his cudgel (Thunk).
Gilgamesh landed on Vorbas with a shower of blows and blood. (CHOP, SLAM,
CHOP, CHOP, SLAM [for 25 hp]) and down he went.  Then Gilgamesh went after
Basher.

##Berserkers essentially become NPC's when they are at the pinnacle of
madness.

Minneatonabal knowing that Gilgamesh was beyond reasoning with, and seeing
Vorbas rapidly expiring used one of the group's healing potions to keep him
alive.

Despite Vorbas, who was a pretty impressive specimen, going down in 2 rounds,
neither Talon nor Basher would run away (something to do with their manhood
being threatened, I am sure.)  Talon tried to block Gilgamesh, while Basher
snuck around behind him.  He just didn't sneak well enough and Gilgamesh
turned on him.  Hitting him with ax and shield, Gilgamesh hurt Basher badly
(16 hp) and THEN Basher began trying (unsuccessfully) to back away.

Talon saw that Basher would be dead next round, decided which partner he
wanted to keep, shrugged,  and cut Gilgamesh down from behind (SPLAT!*).

Minneatonabal, having saved Vorbas, brought the groups last potion and
administered it to Gilgamesh, bringing him back to 0 hp.

Basher, not willing to let it go at this, walked up to Minn and tried to kick
her out of the way but failed. Despite Minn being in the way, Basher attacked
the unconscious Gilgamesh anyway and rolled high enough to miss Minn's back,
stabbing Gilgamesh in the heart.

Basher high fived himself and gleefully told everyone that the troublemaker
was dead.

Talon just looked impassive.

Minneatonabal staggered away from the corpse and sagged against the wall for a
moment, then  ignoring Talon and Basher, took Gilgamesh's body down the stairs
and outside.  Then she rode away into the night on Bill.

And of course, no one noted the small, darkskinned man as he slipped out the
door behind Minn.

Thus ended the session

*Guard1, sneaking away, "What do you suppose THAT was all about?"
*Guard2, "I dunno.  I wonder why Lieutenant Talon wanted us to come in and
start a fight if he knew all THIS was gonna happen?"
*Guard1, "I guess it just goes to show, you can't tell how an officer thinks.
Or if he does."


##If you have enjoyed these, drop me a line and say so.##
##If you have suggestions on technique or style that can be explained
  in 1 line, do so##
##If you have NOT enjoyed these stories.. you need to get a life, for you
  truly dont have a sense of humor. ;-)##
##eric