Multimedia Mania/abacus-multimedia-mania.iso/dp/0148/01483.txt

Text File | 1993-07-27 | 12KB | 224 lines

$Unique_ID{bob01483}
$Pretitle{}
$Title{Sketches, Old And New
The Frog Jumping Of The County Of Calaveras}
$Subtitle{}
$Author{Twain, Mark}
$Affiliation{}
$Subject{frog
smiley
himself
daniel
upon
like
bet
individual
air
dog
see
pictures
see
figures
}
$Date{1893}
$Log{See Smiley and Dog*0148301.scf
}
Title:       Sketches, Old And New
Book:        Jumping Frog, The
Author:      Twain, Mark
Date:        1893

The Frog Jumping Of The County Of Calaveras

     It there was one time here an individual known under the name of Jim
Smiley: it was in the winter of '49, possibly well at the spring of '50, I no
me recollect not exactly.  This which me makes to believe that it was the one
or the other, it is that I shall remember that the grand flume is not achieved
when he arrives at the camp for the first time, but of all sides he was the
man the most fond of to bet which one have seen, betting upon all that which
is presented, when he could find an adversary; and when he not of it could
not, he passed to the side opposed.  All that which convenienced to the the
other, to him convenienced also; seeing that he had a bet, Smiley was
satisfied.  And he had a chance! a chance even worthless: nearly always he
gained.  It must to say that he was always near to himself expose, but one no
could mention the least thing without that this gaillard offered to bet the
bottom, no matter what, and to take the side that one him would, as I you it
said all at the hour (tout a l'heure).  If it there was of races, you him find
rich or ruined at the end; if it there is a combat of dogs, he bring his bet;
he himself laid always for a combat of cats, for a combat of cocks; - by-blue!
if you have see two birds upon a fence, he you should have offered of to bet
which of those birds shall fly the first; and if there is meeting at the camp
(meeting au camp) he comes to bet regularly for the cure Walker, which he
judged to be the best predicator of the neighborhood (predicateur des
environs) and which he was in effect, and a brave man.  He would encounter a
bug of wood in the road, whom he will bet upon the time which he shall take to
go where she would go - and if you him have take at the word, he will follow
the bug as far as Mexique, without himself caring to go so far; neither of the
time which he there lost.  One time the woman of the cure Walker is very sick
during long time, it seemed that one not her saved not; but one morning the
cure arrives, and Smiley him demanded how she goes, and he said that she is
well better; grace to the infinite misery (lui demande comment elle va, et il
dit qu'elle est bien mieux, grace a l'infinie misericorde) so much better that
with the benediction of the Providence she herself of it would pull out (elle
s'en tirerait); and behold without there thinking Smiley responds: "Well, I
gage two-and-half that she will die all of same."

     This Smiley had an animal which the boys called the nag of the quarter of
hour, but solely for pleasantry, you comprehend, because, well understand, she
was more fast as that!  [Now why that exclamation? - M. T.] And it was custom
of to gain of the silver with this beast, notwithstanding she was poussive,
cornarde, always taken of asthma, of colics or of consumption, or something of
approaching.  One him would give two or three hundred yards at the departure,
then one him passed without pain; but never at the last she not fail of
herself echauffer, of herself exasperate, and she arrives herself ecartant, se
defendant, her legs greles in the air before the obstacles, sometimes them
elevating and making with this more of dust than any horse, more of noise
above with his eternumens and reniflemens - crac!  she arrives then always
first by one head, as just as one can it measure.  And he had a small bull dog
(boule dogue!) who, to him see, no value, not a cent; one would believe that
to bet against him it was to steal, so much he was ordinary; but as soon as
the game made, she becomes another dog.  Her jaw inferior commence to project
like a deck of before, his teeth themselves discover brilliant like some
furnaces, and a dog could him tackle (le taquiner), him excite, him murder (le
mordre), him throw two or three times over his shoulder, Andre Jackson - this
was the name of the dog - Andre Jackson takes that tranquilly, as if he not
himself was never expecting other thing, and when the bets were doubled and
redoubled against him, he you seize the other dog just at the articulation of
the leg of behind, and he not it leave more, not that he it masticate, you
conceive, but he himself there shall be holding during until that one throws
the sponge in the air, must he wait a year.  Smiley gained always with this
beast-la; unhappily they have finished by elevating a dog who no had not of
feet of behind, because one them had sawed; and when things were at the point
that he would, and that he came to himself throw upon his morsel favorite, the
poor dog comprehended in an instant that he himself was deceived in him, and
that the other dog him had.  You no have never see person having the air more
penaud and more discouraged; he not made no effort to gain the combat, and was
rudely shucked.

[See Smiley and Dog: She arrives then always first by one head.]

     Eh bien!  this Smiley nourished some terriers a rats, and some cocks of
combat, and some cats, and all sorts of things; and with his rage of betting
one no had more of repose.  He trapped one day a frog and him imported with
him (et l'emporta chez lui) saying that he pretended to make his education.
You me believe if you will, but during three months he not has nothing done
but to him apprehend to jump (apprendre a sauter) in a court retired of her
mansion (de sa maison).  And I you respond that he have succeeded.  He him
gives a small blow by behind, and the instant after you shall see the frog
turn in the air like a grease-biscuit, make one summersault, sometimes two,
when she was well started, and re-fall upon his feet like a cat.  He him had
accomplished in the art of to gobble the flies (gober des mouches), and him
there exercised continually - so well that a fly at the most far that she
appeared was a fly lost.  Smiley had custom to say that all which lacked to a
frog it was the education, but with the education she could do nearly all -
and I him believe.  Tenez, I him have seen pose Daniel Webster there upon this
plank - Daniel Webster was the name of the frog - and to him sing, "Some
flies, Daniel, some flies!" - in the flash of the eye Daniel had bounded and
seized a fly here upon the counter, then jumped anew at the earth, where he
rested truly to himself scratch the head with his behind-foot, as if he no had
not the least idea of his superiority.  Never you not have seen frog as
modest, as natural, sweet as she was.  And when he himself agitated to jump
purely and simply upon plain earth, she does more ground in one jump than any
beast of his species than you can know.  To jump plain - this was his strong.
When he himself agitated for that, Smiley multiplied the bets upon her as long
as there to him remained a red.  It must to know, Smiley was monstrously proud
of his frog, and he of it was right, for some men who were traveled, who had
all seen, said that they to him would be injurious to him compare to another
frog.  Smiley guarded Daniel in a little box latticed which he carried bytimes
to the vilage for some bet.

     One day an individual stranger at the camp him arrested with his box and
him said:

     "What is this that you have then shut up there within?"

     Smiley said, with an air indifferent:

     "That could be a paroquet, or a syringe (ou un serin), but this no is
nothing of such, it not is but a frog."

     The individual it took, it regarded with care, it turned from one side
and from the other, then he said:

     "Tiens!  in effect! - At what is she good?"

     "My God!" respond Smiley, always with an air disengaged, "she is good
for one thing, to my notice, (a mon avis), she can batter in jumping (elle
peut batter en sautant) all frogs of the county of Calaveras.

     The individual re-took the box, it examined of new longly, and it
rendered to Smiley in saying with an air deliberate:

     "Eh bien!  I no saw not that that frog had nothing of better than each
frog." (Je ne vois pas que cette grenouille ait rien de mieux qu'aucune
grenouille).  [If that isn't grammar gone to seed, then I count myself no
judge. - M. T.]

     "Possible that you not it saw not," said Smiley, "possible that you - you
comprehend frogs; possible that you not you there comprehend nothing; possible
that you had of the experience, and possible that you not be but an amateur.
Of all manner, (De toute maniere) I better forty dollars that she batter in
jumping no matter which frog of the county of Calaveras."

     The individual reflected a second, and said like sad:

     "I not am but a stranger here, I no have not a frog; but if I of it had
one, I would embrace the bet."

     "Strong well!" respond Smiley; "nothing of more facility.  If you will
hold my box a minute, I go you to search a frog (j'irari vous chercher)."

     Behold, then, the individual, who guards the box, who puts his forty
dollars upon those of Smiley, and who attends, (et qui attend).  He attended
enough longtimes, reflecting all solely.  And figure you that he takes Daniel,
him opens the mouth by force and with a tea-spoon him fills with shot of the
hunt, even him fills just to the chin, then he him puts by the earth.  Smiley
during these times was at slopping in a swamp.  Finally he trapped (attrape) a
frog, him carried to that individual, and said:

     "Now if you be ready, put him all against Daniel, with their before-
feet upon the same line, and I give the signal" - then he added: "One, two,
three, - advance!"

     Him and the individual touched their frogs by behind, and the frog new
put to jump smartly, but Daniel himself lifted ponderously, exalted the
shoulders thus.  like a Frenchman - to what good?  he not could budge, he is
planted solid like a church, he not advance no more than if one him had put at
the anchor.

     Smiley was surprised and disgusted, but he not himself doubted not of the
turn being intended (mais il ne se doutait pas du tour, bien entendu). The
individual empocketed the silver, himself with it went, and of it himself in
going is it that he no gives not a jerk of thumb over the shoulder - like that
- at the poor Daniel, in saying with his air deliberate - (L'individu empoche
l'argent, s'en va et en s'en allant est ce qu'il ne donne pas un coup de pouce
pardessus l'epaule, comme ca, au pauvre Daniel, endisant de son air delibere):

     "Eh bien!  I no see not that that frog has nothing of better than
another."

     Smiley himself scratched longtimes the head, the eyes fixed upon Daniel,
until that which at last he said:

     "I me demand how the devil it makes itself that this beast has refused.
Is it that she had something?  One would believe that she is stuffed."

     He grasped Daniel by the skin of the neck, him lifted and said:

     "The wolf me bite if he no weigh not five pounds."

     He him reversed and the unhappy belched two handfuls of shot (et le
malhereus, etc). - When Smiley recognized how it was, he was like mad.  He
deposited his frog by the earth and ran after that individual, but he not him
caught never.

     Such is the Jumping Frog, to the distorted French eye.  I claim that I
never put together such an odious mixture of bad grammar and delirium tremens
in my life.  And what has a poor foreigner like me done, to be abused and
misrepresented like this?  When I say, "Well, I don't see no p'ints about that
frog that's any better'n any other frog," is it kind, is it just, for this
Frenchman to try to make it appear that I said: "Eh bien! I no saw that that
frog had nothing of better than each frog?" I have no heart to write more.  I
never felt so about anything before.