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1996-01-27
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Hi there. How's it hanging?
Ah young man. Should you be in this vicinity?
Yes Tate's ordered a security check
I've lost the guided tour party
I was not informed of such an exercise
Well it was top secret. Tate's instructions
That I can understand. Tate's a glorious leader. Strong. Dependable
Yet with an intriguing boyish quality
Tate? Boyish?
Yeah I can see that
Yes. But you probably can't see him the way I do
With his svelte figure and roguish grin
Well it takes all sorts
You can! And I thought I was the only one
When Tate smiles ahh the butterflies in my stomach
Well I do get a sensation in my stomach. But the're not butterflies
Then they must be angels singing his praises
Well er..Hey is that the time?
Guided tour party?
Yeh to see the sights. Smell the smells
Didn't you know?
Smell? What could there be to smell
Well your enchanting perfume for starters
Oh I say you teaser you
Well hey charm is my middle name
Ah if only I were twenty years younger and you were two foot taller
So could you let me through the door?
If only I could my petal. But I have my orders
Hey that's the way it goes
No. I was not informed
Isn't it always the same?
Sadly I believe you are right
Hey it happens all the time
Could I get past?
No. Now run along young man
Yeah no problem
Still standing on guard?
I'm sorry young man but I'm under orders not to speak to anyone
Hey you're a ger-ger-gorilla!
Griller? What are you trying to say? I'm a frier and boiler too
Sorry my mistake. So what's cooking?
Jee! That's an old joke
Of course the hat's a dead giveaway
Tate said let them eat cake so that's what I'm baking
How would you know shortstuff?
You can do anything when you've got the right hat
Cake? Is that it?
Hey my height is in inverse proportion to my cool
Aren't qualifications important?
Sure cake's nutritional. We have it for breakfast, lunch
dinner, supper and as a special treat on birthday's too
That's all you can cook isn't it?
Don't you get bored just cooking cake?
Hasn't anyone ever complained?
Yeah I lied during my interview
Who can get bored cooking cake? I like cooking cake
Currant cake..sponge cake..cream cake..steak cake..lovely
Would you complain?
Only from a distance by post
Weren't you worried you'd be found out?
So who's gonna sack me?
Steak cake?
Sure..Steak cake for non vegetarians
You still wouldn't be safe. I'd send a punch by air mail
Now scat kid. Cakes don't make themselves and I'm busy
Yeah you're so cool I could bake cakes in you
Hey how come everyone gives me abuse?
You've just got one of those faces
I've always got the job when I've worn the right hat
I really think there could be other reasons
Yeah it must be my sunny personality
You're probably right
Hmmm I don't think so
That's just your opinion
I'm always right. Everyone agrees with me
Then it's time you were re-educated shortstuff
Yeah but it's one that everyone shares
Hey cookie it's me again!
Yeah I could arrange it so you weren't me no longer
Hey I get the message. See you round
Hey Prof how you doing?
Ah Bud you've caught me in the middle of an experiment
An experiment?
Have you found a way to escape?
Sorry Prof I don't have time to chat
Yes I have calculated the trajectory of the dust motes in the
room and have come to a fascinating conclusion
Will this help us escape?
Yes..and?
No. But it will solve the problem of cleaning behind wardrobes
Hey that's great Prof. Catch you later
Didn't you invent something to do that?
Ja my perpetual motion cleaning machine, but once I set it
running I could not catch it again
That's the way it goes Prof
No that was the way it went
Catch you later Prof
That the motion of the dust affects the flight of
butterflies in the Amazon basin. Possibly
That's great Prof
What about escaping?
Why would butterflies want to escape from the Amazon?
No reason. I'll catch you later
Ja it is good to have time to think
So I'll leave you to it
Nein. The room is escape proof apart from that conveniently
sized air vent. Though I do have an idea
Hey great Prof what is it?
Using the wave/particle duality theory wherein a photon
of light exists in two places at the same time, all we have to
do is produce an indeterminate state whereby we exist on either
side of this locked door. Then the us on the other side of the
door make good their escape. Quite simple really
That's great Prof. You work on it
Have you found a way to escape?
Nein. I have been reminiscing about the olden days
Oh? Such as?
Then I'll leave you to it
Such as the time I took the theoretical particle research
chair at Heidelberg university
Hey that was prestigious!
Ja but it only lasted until the lecturer's legs got tired and
then I was made to bring it back
I'll catch the rest later Prof
Hey I'd love to hear more!
It was at Heidelberg that I discovered a new particle with
extraordinarily peculiar characteristics
So what did you call it?
It was called the Quirk and it had five possible states or
flavours..Up..Down..Strawberry..Bob..And walrus
You aren't just making this up?
I'd love to stay but I've work to do
Nein this is all entirely true. Though my discovery was disputed
by Professor Handelbach who claimed that I had merely a dirty
microscope and that the quirks were crumbs from a week old egg
sandwich
This is fascinating
I've gotta go Prof. I'll catch you later
Ja there is so much more. Did I ever tell about the..
Hey Prof I've work to do. Gotta split
Hey Prof I'm back!
Ja this is indisputably true, even in a strict Einsteinian sense
What does that mean?
But I've got to go again
Einstein postulated that everything is relative. You are back
but only relative to a subjective point on the space time
continuum
Gee I never thought of that
But was Einstein right?
Ja but then you did invent the chocolate and anchovy pizza
a work of genius I might add
Hey thanks Prof
Not at all. A fascinating combination of the major food
groups. It was a truly inspired invention
Have you thought of a way to escape?
Hey Prof I'd better get going
Ja but it involves manipulating dimensions four to seven
in order to pass through the molecules of the door
Can you do it?
I think I'll look for another way
Ja with three pounds of plutonium and access to a particle
accelerator. Oh and a small egg whisk
Ja about this. But not about the whoopee cushion
Whoopee cushion?
I think I'll hear this story later
Ja. During the UnAmerican Activities hearings in 1952 he
thought he would enliven proceedings by placing a whoopee
cushion under Senator McCarthy's seat
And did it help?
Nein though it made me chuckle
Well I've gotta run Prof. Catch you later
Hey Prof I've been on Tate's submarine
Ja? Very interesting. Then we must be near the sea. Or a very
large pond
So have you found a way to escape?
Could we use the submarine to escape?
Nein. Though I have discovered a new type of mould
that could prove to be a cure for baldness
Really? You mean it makes the hair grow back?
Nein. You wear it on your head like a wig
That's great Prof. I'll leave you to it
Nein. It would be missed too easily. Unless..
Unless what Prof?
Well it was worth a try
Unless we create a replica using pieces of string and a
large washing up liquid bottle
Great plan Prof. I'll get right on it
I'm not really sure that would work
Ja you are probably right. It would be difficult to find
a washing up liquid bottle the size of a submarine
Yeah right Prof. Catch you later
Hey Prof I've done it! We can escape
Excellent work Bud! That means we shall not need plan R
Plan R Prof?
Ja. Plan R whereby we escape through a space/time vortex
created using everyday household appliances
No Prof we just leave via the door
But what about the guards?
Distracted by a dancing dug
Then lead on to freedom Bud
Sure thing Prof!
I've almost everything needed to escape
Excellent work Bud. While I wait I shall use the time to
think about a vexing problem
Okay Prof I'll be back soon
A problem Prof?
Ja. It is about the space telescope. It must have difficulty
refocusing on objects that are near from those that are not
So..?
So I propose a giant set of bifocal spectacles to be attached
to the front of the telescope
That's a great idea Prof. I'll be back later
Excellent. Then I still have time to design the frames for the
telescope. Do you think horn rimmed would be suitable?
Sure thing Prof. I'll catch you later
So let's get out of here
First things first. Insert smart card. Here goes
Well that was easy. To bad we couldn't withdraw any money
Next is the voice recognition system
Hey this is too easy Prof!
Ja the security system does seem flawed. Perhaps I could design
a new one
Maybe later Prof. Next we have the nasal recognition system
Watch this
TaaDaa!
Ja very impressive
Let's go Prof. We still have to stop Dick Tate's evil plans
Ja I agree. I presume this is the method of egress
Mind your elbow Prof
That is not my elbow Bud
Oh?
Nein. It is my favourite antique slide rule
Fresh air! Freedom!
It is indeed sweet Bud
But wait Prof! Look at the park
Mein Gott! Dick Tate has fulfilled his nefarious plan
Then we've still got work to do!
Let's go to the Hotel spendid Prof and plan what to do
An excellent idea Bud
What's happening! Where's the hotel?
It would appear that this is Tate's new centre of operations
Then we've got to get inside somehow professor
I agree entirely Bud
Wow it's a video arcade!
Hey you're not a Tate employee!
I'm Tate's personal pizza delivery agent
Sure I am. The uniform just wouldn't fit
Tate is an equal opportunities employer
So where's your pizza?
Now that I could believe. They don't do extra small
Yeah but short spotty kids with bad haircuts..?
I'm just going round taking the orders
I've just delivered it
In my pocket. It's a small pizza
We can have pizza! It'll sure make a change from cake
So why you hanging around? Beat it pizza boy
It'll be a small fluffy pizza by now
Hey I get the hint. See you guys
So what'll it be? Regular? Anchovies? Spicy?
Almond with lot's of icing and currants
Are you sure about this?
Sure with extra cream right?
Sounds good I'll get right on to it
That's the way cook always makes pizza
Really? We can have extra cream!
I'll have to get the recipe
No problem. Extra cream freshly whipped
I'll be back as quick as I can
So it's just as well you don't wear a hat
What is it about my height?
I compute a 93% probability of sarcasm
I wouldn't worry over such a small problem
Only 93%? I must be slipping
Gee you're a great comfort
Hey go and bother someone else. I get bored with banality
Just the way Tate likes them
Our glorious leader has impeccable taste
So I'll just be off delivering thanks for your time
Hey don't look at me. It's in the charter
I guess I'll just have to reread it sometime
So what are you guys up to?
What's that readout over there?
So what's the spinning globe for?
That's privileged information. Now get out of the
way there's important work being done
How's the work going?
Sorry I'm too busy to talk right now
Yeah I can tell
So, you may have cheated a fate worse than death at the snout of my aardvark
but I still have plans for you..Bud Tucker
Excuse me, but do I know you?
I am your worst nightmare..
No..
My worst nightmare is standing buck naked in a field full of frisky antelopes.
I was speaking metaphysically
Actually, you were speaking metaphorically
If you were speaking metaphysically, you would be using telepathy
Enough! You would do well not to anger me, fool!
For I am Lord Richard Tate, Ruler of the Universe!
Sorry, should I be impressed?
Quiet, Bud! He's obviously insane!
Me, insane! Hahahahahahahahaha. But enough. Now I have a captive audience..
Now I have a captive audience, I will tell you of my plans
What is it with him Prof? Bullied at school or a bed wetter?
I was born to rule this planet
Ever since I was a child, I knew I was to fufil a great destiny
All of my life has been in preparation for this day!
The lonliness, the unrequited love, the amusingly shaped nose..
Ah, yes, I can see it all now
I said I'm not interested, buddy
So you can imagine my glee when I read the Professor's article
on cloning in "Crazy Scientist Weekly." Here was the answer!
You mean you've used my Duotronic Replicator
to create thousands of clones of yourself
who as we speak, are ready to overthrow every major world power?
No. But thank you for providing me with a back-up plan
Nice work, Prof
Sorry, Bud
Where was I?..cloning..here was the answer..ah yes
I read the Professor's article about cloning with great interest
With one fateful phonecall I learned that you machine was complete
Pausing only to concoct an audacious plan
We made haste to your laboratory to steal your machine
How unfortunate you where home, Professor
Yes, well that's where I usually am when I'm not out
My scientists have adjusted the Duotronic Replicator, improved it!
Now, I can clone living beings!
But that's impossible! The brain is simply too complex to copy effectively!
Precisely! All clones created are automatons
Devoid of all reasoning and intelligence
A clean slate upon which I can write a new personality!
A personality with an in-built love of their Creator, Dick Tate!
Excuse me, Dicky, but is this going anywhere?
I mean, I've got things I could be doing. You know, like flossing my teeth...
Mock all you will, Bud Tucker
..clipping my toe-nails..
Silence!
..trimming my nostril hair..
Silence! You must listen to me! I am important!
I AM A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON! PEOPLE VALUE MY OPINION! PEOPLE LIKE ME!
PEOPLE LAUGH WITH ME, NOT AT ME!
Calm down, boss.
Yes..Sorry..So, you see, Bud Tucker, all of your efforts have been wasted!
The world will be mine! And all those cats!
Their suffering will become legendary! Come Norris, Destiny awaits! Hahahahahaha!
Jeez! Talk about megalomania! Okay Prof, we've got to escape
Ja, Bud. But how?
I agree his mind is tormented Bud, I feel sorry for him
Any ideas how we can escape?
Ja. We have three options
Okay. What are they?
Option 1..We could use psychokinetic power to vibrate the ropes
on a sub atomic level, thus causing a small but powerful nuclear explosion
destroying the ropes, and everything in a three mile radius!
Erm..Maybe we should try option 2
Okay, how do we do that?
Firstly, we must wait for our DNA to mutate,
lifting us to the next stage of human evolution
thus granting us extraordinary psychic abilities
It's a good plan, Prof, but we don't have that much time
What were the other options?
Option 2..I could pretend to be ill
You call the guard, then when he comes to check up on me
you slug him over the head, thus rendering him unconscious!
Okay! Let's go for it!
Oog, Ag! I am ill! Help me! Please direct me to the hospital!
Uarghghghg! Eurg!
Okay Prof, I think you can stop the act. He's not coming
Eurgh! I believe that saurkraut was past it's sell-by date..Ag! Oh hmm..
Well it seemed like a good idea!
Nice try, Prof, but I think we should think about option 3
I don't think it'll work, Prof
Huh! They said my electric haddock attractor would never work!
But Prof, it didn't!
Well, that's a matter of opinion..
Look, Tate's getting away! Now, what was your third idea?
Oh, it's crazy! It'll never work!
Yeah, you're probably right
What? You doubt my ability?
Sorry, Prof, but we're in deep trouble here. We need a solution fast
Well, we could always use my laser watch..
Your..Laser watch?
Ja! My laser watch!
You see Bud, it's a portable, highly powerful nuclear powered laser cannon
I could use the beam to sever our bonds
Oh go on, Prof
Okay. We hide
We..hide?
Ja! Then, when the guard comes in, he sees we're not here
and in the confusion, we slip away!
Uh..No thanks, Prof. I kinda like the way my face is
Haaah..Then I'm all out of ideas. Unless...!
Yes?
We use my laser watch!
Ah...I'm not sure, Prof
What is it? Do you doubt my marksmanship?
Well..No..But..
Okay! Stand back! Oh..Okay, brace yourself!
Power to Turbines!
Increase laser output to 20%!
Inertial Shock Dampeners on-line!
Increase laser output to 40%!
Check medical insurance!
Initiate Power Transfer!
Increase laser output to 100%!
Fire!
Uh, Prof..?
Free! Good work, Prof!
Ja. Thank you
That's a great invention
Ja. We have much to thank the Taiwan Laser Watch Company for
Now, let's stop Tate!
Okay, let's do it!
Sorry Prof, but even Tate's goons aren't that stupid
Haaah..Well, we could always use my laser watch..
Your..Laser watch?
Ja! My laser watch! You see, Bud, it's a portable, highly powerful nuclear
powered laser cannon. I could use the beam to sever our bonds
Okay! Let's do it!
Right! Okay! You go hide behind the lion, I'll hide behind the shelves!
Uh..
Oh
Hey! Look prof, maybe we can get out via this air vent!
Sorry Bud, I'm scared of air vents
You're scared of air vents?
Ja. Ever since I was a small child
Sorry, Bud, it's a job that you alone can do
See if you can find a way out then come back for me. Here, take my watch
Why would I want that?
So you will know when it's dinner time
That's your problem, always thinking about food
Yes, but if you press this button here, you can create a huge magnetic field
Hasn't all the laser charge been used?
Why would I want to create a magnetic field?
I don't know. I just thought it might come in handy
Okay. Thanks prof. Tell me something..
Sure, what?
Is there anything this watch doesn't do?
Ja, it doesn't tell the time
It stopped at five past twelve fifteen years ago
Thanks prof!
Good luck Bud
I don't find that a problem. Now hurry, Bud, times's running out
Looks like I'll have to go it alone
Hey! Lola's matches from Big Al's bar
This should help me find my way around
It's a bar of Sud-U-Like soap. My favourite!
Ouch! They're not as safe as they look
They're alright if you pull them quickly
The Gidyun book of fish. There's one in every hotel room
It's the Daily Yak
The tastiest sticky bun I've ever seen
Just an average iron bucket
I should catch something with this
Mmmmm! Made with 100% something or other
Billy G's Sounds of the Seventies! Cool!
A genuine Barryville dollar piece
I'd hate to imagine what these were used for
Lobsters really live in these things?
I think it's smiling at me
Hey! Aren't branches fractal objects or something?
It's twice as long as half it's length
Fashion disaster alert!
Well it's an improvement I suppose
Boudicea's skates. You can see where the wheel spikes went
A commemoration of Olaf Particle and his wrestling prawns
This is great for executive stress relief
A teabag that is completely water proof. Neat!
You could use this to see in the dark
It's a good likeness but not of me
Not bad huh? 10 out 10 for inventiveness
The tropical chainsaw fish. A very rare species
Just an average iron bucket..With water in
This should get me places
I'll treasure this for ever and ever
This is not your ordinary everyday digital watch
I guess it's some kind of electronic key
This smells of rum. No wonder that guy was asleep
It's empty now. Oh well
You know this reminds me of my old headmaster
Bertrand Tepid "Gargles Beethoven's greatest hits". Cool
It has state of the art buttons and things but no battery
Well the tape doesn't appear to be turning..
It's working but there's still something missing
Testing. One. Two. Hey it works!
I wonder if someone actually has a nose like this?
Here's the key to a cupboard. It's a cupboard key
This is a safe key. But safe from what?
I've never seen a Dug dance. This should be good
Wow a pink thing! This'll replace my blue thing
I can only think of a few uses for one of these
Well it's a certainly a lot smaller
It's power to the people
It's tuned to the weather station
Without batteries? It won't work
It's a space hopper with a deflated ego
We could go places with this
The hula girl pizza company. The're my rivals!
One of these rang me once. It was a crank call
Pink chewing gum? Who left this here?
I hope I never meet the owner of this
Hey! This is almost as sharp as me
A can of my least favourite beverage
Hmm now what could we use this for?
I'd like to see the chopper fly without this
A washer handcrafted in solid steel
The cuckoo seems to have fled the nest
Shhh you shouldn't disturb nesting birds
A fanless fan? Very useful
Hey how ingenious!
Who makes these things?
Now what could I use these for?
Glue that'll stick anything, can I get the top off?
A scared chicken isn't that an oxymoron or something?
These were gloves at first sight
Nail. Nine inches. What else do you need to know?
The greatest roller skate ever made. Honest
I really don't think it would suit
There's a head shaped dent in it
These look familiar
I've always wondered why they call it pool
A stick of white chalk. This reminds me of school
Big. Red. Full of Air. Just like an old teacher of mine
You know what they say about cuckoos? No me neither
You ever wondered about the size of my pockets?
I don't think Ms. Cluck is going to miss this
What's with all this unstylish clothing?
A clothes peg? Well it could prove useful
Don't fish ever use deodorant?
And people wear these as trousers?
Don't they usually flock together?
Don't eat it! I don't want to go to that dentist
Hey! Now I'm a real yuppy
I wonder what's happening in the world?
It's a complimentary book of matches
A medicine cabinet of curiosities
Hey! A tea-chest of drawers!
I don't think it's been washed in months
Yuk! It has more rings than Saturn
*R
I wouldn't want to sleep in that
It seems happy, but you can never tell with elephants
An original copy of some guy's painting
I'm sure something moved in there
She's probably been here for years
An ancient ceremonial crown of kings long gone
*E
There's some tempting wares on display
I wouldn't risk going in there
*M
It looks dark and foreboding down there
I think we're being watched
I'd like to see the cake that was in there
Even swag bags have to be washed sometime
It leads back to the hotel room
They've been thrown away for a good reason
I guess this is where the flour is kept
A guy could get paranoid about this
Cake? Soap? Well why not?
They look so happy together
It's a pity that there's no sticky buns in there
It looks like it's in full working order
Apparently it's a delicacy
There's bread a baking in there
This was fresh from the oven last week
I guess this is where the baker pounds his dough
Hey! this baker uses a lot of flour
Do you think I could get out this way?
*E
*E
It's a way out of here
*E
*E
A seedy rundown bar with peanuts
I guess you get all sorts in here
Staff only. Perhaps we should get a job here
What? After we spent so long getting in?
I can't think what those cakes are doing here
A reminder of the Birdman of Alcafraz
The conditions in here aren't very sanitary
It's a superfly for a superfly guy
The mysterious rainbow trout
It's not a barrel of laughs but a barrel of worms
*E
Wow! A five speed quadraphonic SupaBlasta
Black leather. Wicked!
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
I'm not going back in there
There doesn't seem to be a queue
I wouldn't want his job
*E
It's covered in the dentist's tools
*E
*E
They suck your soul out, and you have to wait four minutes
A sponge for a counter? Cool!
Well it is quicker by drain
*E
I think that's someone's home
A monument to Bob Connor whoever he is
It's an ordinary stand pipe made from zinc
A sprinkler I think. Gardening's not my scene
It's a pot plant. What more can I say
*E
*E
It's seems to be set for lunch
*E
*M
It's mans best inflatable friend
I don't think I'll get in that way
Do you know who invented the roller door? Me neither
Fin's ain't what they used to be for this shark
Extremely useful things. Probably
It's a ladder down to a trawler
*E
*M
They always hover when you read a newspaper
*M
*M
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
Woah Spooky or what?
*E
It's a way back to the antechamber
Tate's a real egomaniac
*E
At least some things never change
It's an Edison original
Wooden. Square. It's either the counter or the shopkeeper
*E
It needs some serious dusting
He's certainly seen better days
*E
*E
Hey it's a brick counter. So what?
Brimming with goods. It's a shame I don't like DIY
They're special pun saws
It seems to be missing something I wonder why?
*E
Just your average dentistry laser cannon
It's a hole in a useless hose
*E
What great brushwork!
I think I can see a train in the distance
Now this is art that I can relate to
Hey! It leads back to Seedy street. So what?
Is this a way in?
A window cleaner's platform. For window cleaners
*E
*E
Go this way to get out of here
It's a white knuckle ride to the ground floor
An open skylight? Hmmm
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
*E
You'd get square eyes watching this
Just press for Channel One
Press to watch Channel Two
Button. Push. Channel Three. Okay?
On and Off. Just like that
*E
*E
I don't think it'll work
Hmm. The cleaners need to pay a visit
Hey. That guy's initials get everywhere
I guess Tate must start them young
*E
It's an important monitor
*E
Woah! It's an altar to Tate's greatness
He seems to be enjoying himself
*E
Spot the lie
*E
Well it's different to last time
*E
*M
Hey great view!
Exciting composition or what?
Steps down into the depths of the earth
I'd strongly advise going that way
*E
Hey what happened to his face?
He should see an orthodontist
I guess Tate's not an art lover
Does bad clothing have a long half life?
There just isn't the same variety is there?
I guess the're not speaking to each other
Woah what happened here?
Gee and I thought it was run down before
It's still staff only
What you really want to go back to Seedy street?
Hey! Who watches the watchtower?
It's tacky. It's tasteless. I love it
Tate's not a big Bob Connor fan
I wonder if the're hardy perennials?
Woah a major nuclear project right here in Barryville
*M
He's certainly seen better days
*M
It's not environmentally friendly is it?
There's an idea for a sequel! Treasure Island Bud Tucker
It's square. It's brown. It's a box
Well it's different
What composition! What style! A masterpiece
Back to the overworld away from here
It's a dark dank yet strangely mysterious tunnel
*M
*E
It's lost weight since last time
It's one of those plot device air vents
*E
I guess this is where they dump their junk
It's left end of the tunnel
It's the right end of the tunnel
*E
*E
*E
Hey this corridor continues further
It's seems like quite a walk
It's a mean lean green submarine
*E
It's a large red number three. Could be significant
*E
Walk this way back to the subway tunnel
Ah how sweet I don't think
The're just your average wooden bunk beds
*E
*E
Hey! It's a genuine antique. Possibly
It's back to the top of the corridor
Woah! Cool plant
This'll get your whites really white
It's a cerebrally challenged waiter
*E
*E
This must be the heart of Tate's operation
*E
Over the ocean blue back to the docks
It's round. It's a hole. It must be a way in
Don't these guys realise that green submarines suck?
*E
So this is where Tate gets his ideas
It's round. It's a hole. It must be a way out
*E
*E
Hey! I think something's trapped in there
Woah! Computer games!
*E
It's all done with mirrors you know
Just what is it with these tentacles?
*E
It's a Watt and Pritney 60cc submarine engine
A button. Gee I wonder what would happen if I pressed it?
Look it's a very unexciting cupboard. Okay?
You can't tune a piano but you can tuna fish
It leads back to the docks
*E
Doesn't anyone do cans of coke?
It's one of those dark mysterious tunnels
*E
Hi-Tech. Plastic. It's some sort of security terminal
*E
*E
Grey. Boring. Let's look at something exciting
Hey! It's the captain's chair. Now where's the captain's log?
A portrait of the captain's mom
This Tate guy likes his luxuries
Ugly. Mean. It's a good likeness
Why are they called French windows? Perhaps it's the accent
*E
*M
It'll get us off the trawler
It's an oxygen bottle
Hey! How'd you describe a door
A way out of this place
Gee I can't think where this leads
It's a doorway obviously
It's a strange rectangular hole of some kind
Door. Go through door. It's real easy
I'd have to check the map
What? After all the trouble it took getting inside
I only wish it were that easy
I'll have to find the exit first
Let's get back to the mall first
You really want to leave this place?
Hey why not stay here and mellow out?
I agree let's find the exit
That'll be easy when we find the exit
So you don't feel like staying here?
It's the hotel rules
No jelly juggling after midnight
Trout tickling strictly forbidden
No licking the walls between meals
Camels must be kept on a leash
Standing on one leg is strictly forbidden
Rubbing lemon sorbet into the bedsheets is forbidden
Turtles must only be turned clockwise on Saturday
Cress must not be grown on the bath towels
There is no calling the cleaner Arthur
All legumes must be handed over at reception
Hmm Let's see..What is it the professor wants?
A wind machine
A land sailboard. Strange
One match
An inflated bladder. Bizarre
One example of domestic fowl
A sharp point of some description
One tray or similar
A clockwork mechanism
Gloves. Two
One Bowling ball
A tube
Hula girl outfits (medium)
One empty pizza box
Well this shouldn't prove too difficult
Look in the dictionary under "cool", and you'll find a picture of me
Well, by the apron and the smell, I'd guess he was a baker
I've seen some shady guys in my time, but this guy's the Duke of Dubious...
What bold use of colour! What challenging concepts! The guy's a genius!
Quick! Call the zoo! Tell them one of their gorillas has escaped!
Wow, what a babe! I'm in love...
A Bunny Boy? Well, I suppose this is the age of equality
A regular beat cop. The kind that would beat you. Regularly
This guy looks familiar...
Proof that God didn't make man in his own image
Obviously one of Barryville's friendlier residents
He looks like a real salty sea dog. Smells like one too
An intelligent, attentive guy... not!
A real cool soul brother
Woah, a serial killer!
This guy's one of Barryville's more normal residents
Gee, what a sweet old lady!
This guy is the High Priest of Hobo. And he's got really bad body odour!
Well, he looks the part...
He looks like Vera, just a couple of steps further up the evolutionary scale
There must be one great story in there...
Well, he's in the right place...
A high class street vendor. Remind me to count my teeth before I go
Some sort of strange gigantic brain type thing
Wormus Wriggilus I think
As always, ice cool and every inch the hero
Argh! Bigfoot in a dress!
I guess she's never seen a dug dance...
A mountain with legs!
What is it with bad guys and stupid uniforms?
Is it just me, or is that a 300 pound gorilla in a hat?
Industrious kinda guy
Imprisonment haven't affected the Prof. Still as craz- er..inspired as ever
Hey, I know I look good, but this isn't really gonna get us anywhere, is it?
Woah! This guy's got serious problems! And I don't mean his weight!
He seems like a responsible citizen
They seem to start shopping earlier every year...
This guy was weird before Tate got to him!
Has Royston been cloned? No! There's no way anyone could reproduce that smell!
I thought he'd have retired by now
The prof learnt all he knows from Einstein. Stanley Einstein from Bootle
What is it with bad guys and stupid uniforms?
Hmm...I've seen this guy somewhere before...
Grunt won the "Sychophantic Gameshow Host" Award six times running!
Hey, it's the King!
Wow, a regal Egyptian babe!
Nice dress, dude
I don't see anything. Oh! You mean those inconspicuous store detectives!
This guy proves Darwin's Theory...
I suppose this guy only gets out at weekends...
Somebody give this guy a job. He oozes talent! Well, I hope it's talent...
Hey, what a sweet kid...
Woah, that's one chick I wouldn't mess with!
Seen one chicken waiting for dental treatment, you've seen 'em all
Hey, I know 70's chic is cool, but being a 70 year old geek..?
Sorry, I can't do that
That's impossible
I see reality has eluded you. Again
Next!
You want me to do what?
Hey, that sounds surreal
Try something else
I'm calling the men in the white coats!
Nurse!
You're totally insane, dude
Uh-huh..
It's a good thing I've enough brains for both of us
Excuse me?
Hey buddy, try this one: Use brain to think of sensible suggestion
Open is a tricky concept
Just as well I have the brains and you have the looks
I can't see a handle
I see no way to open it
The lights are on but know ones at home
All these pointless suggestions
Do you play computer games often?
Aw, gimme a break..
Close what? There's nothing open
Try something else
May I suggest an alternative use of our time
Are you feeling all right?
Why don't you close your mouth?
I can't close that
Yeah, right
Any more bright ideas?
Er... No
I guess they only let you out at weekends
How could I do that?
Any more suggestions like that and I'll have you committed
That's a stupid idea
No, I'll keep it for now
I'll keep that
I'm gonna save it for later
I'm not giving that away
I'm not giving away all of my goodies
My need is greater than their's
I'm gonna hold on to that
Let's not be too generous
No, I might have use of it later
That's not a good idea, I should keep it
That's too useful to give away
I don't think I could live without it
It's not Christmas, I'll keep it
I'll hang on to it for now
Try something else
I don't think my gift would be appreciated
I can't carry that around
It's not my type
What did you last servant die of?
I can't pick that up
Come off it
Do you really think I need it to find the Professor?
I really don't need it
What would I need that for?
No way! You want it, you get it
Hey man, take my advice: stay off the drugs
The Caffeine must be making you hyper active
You've flipped
I don't need it
I'm not a kleptomaniac!
I'd better not
Pick that up? No way!
That's going nowhere
I can't move that!
Where would you want me to put it?
I don't want to, Okay?
That would be pointless
I'm a kid, not a removal man
It's not in my job description
I can't move that.
It's fine where it is
Get a life...
I don't fancy touching it
Move it where?
It's not my place to rearrange things
Moving that wouldn't solve our problems
Would moving that really help us find the Professor?
Hey it looks cleaner already
That was quite a trip
This should provoke a response
Now what could we do with this?
Woah! My life is complete
Great! It's not exactly four star
Now I enjoyed doing that
Bizarre plot device huh!?
I don't think he can hear
Hey I'm in the guild!
Let's go put this to use
Hole in one!
This'll go toward the deposit on a sports car
I think I need shades!
Hey this is quite a pad!
Don't try this at home kids
Neat job huh?
Great lateral thinking huh?
And I have to put this into my pocket?
I don't think he even noticed
Sshh..This'll be a surprise
That was like taking candy from a baby
The magnetic field was stronger than I thought
Why did I get out of bed this morning?
This should have some effect on the crew
Hey an instant life preserver
It looks like a key of some sort
Hey this is embarrassing but I can't swim
At least clockwork is environmentally friendly
This will save me getting wet
That water must have been ultra hot
And for my next trick
Well it wasn't dignified but I got the card
We have power!
Another top ten hit recorded
Gee they seem hypnotised by the Dug's syncopated rhythm
Hey I should be a cat burglar
I guess it's the wrong key
It's an outrageous fashion statement
Well this shouldn't pose any problems
Let's get the professor and get out of here
Hey why not?
It's as good a way as any
Escape through the air vent? What a great plan
Look are you really sure about this?
Hey not while they're watching
Gee Tate's very security minded
Hey they have some use after all!
This watch sure is useful. Pity it's stopped
Let's go!
Why don't they design bigger lifts
Now it's as good as new
I think we'll take the train next time
Hey! It's jammed stuck
It just won't open
I'll be saving someone pain
Hey! We're locked out
This isn't going anywhere
Hey! Comedy slapstick!
Going down!
There must be an easier way to save the world
That was shocking!
Woah! I ain't going no further dude! That muzak sucks
If silence was golden I'd be rich!
Now down to business!
Hey! I don't want to wear something so unfashionable
I'm only doing this because everyone else is wearing one
Woah! I'm taking the coat off before going out there
Let's see what happens now..
It's locked. Typical criminal mastermind
Hey it's almost as good as new
Hey! Where'd the cuckoo go?
Well that's the museum open again
What strange behaviour
What a couple of bozos
Hey I think I got it dirty again
Stand back! Clear the area!
Woah! No way am I going down there!
Well okay. Just don't tell anyone I did this