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manifesto
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1994-11-26
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Bozoup (P) 1994 Bozotic Softwar Foundation, Inc.
You're allowed. You're a bozo. (Except for Emacs-19. He loses. Bad.)
The BOZO Manifesto
******************
The BOZO Antipasto which appears was cooked by Bob Manson at the
beginning of the BOZO project, to let everyone know just what a massif
bozo he truly is. For the first few years, it is hoped that everyone
can just accept this and realize that "it's OK to be a bozo, because
you are". And, after all, we're even editing this in ed, just to prove
what true bozos we are.
We hope to learn many things about what being a real bozo truly means.
And, we hope to gain acceptance for our bozolike behavior, speech, and
other forms of bozo expression that truly mark any sentient being.
After all, if you're not a bozo, you're not reading this.
For up-to-date information about the available BOZO software,
including "horoscope", "youwill", "kermit.el" and "popd",
send mail to:
manson@santafe.edu
ben@gnu.ai.mit.edu
Or, you can finger rwm@kepler.enc.org. (But do it gently.)
What's BOZO? Bozo's Only Zelda Often!
+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+
BOZO, which stands for Truth, Justice, and the American Way, is
the name for just about any sentient being (hereafter referred to as
"Bill Gates, Esq.") in the known and unknown universe. (Except for
Emacs-19. He's not allowed.) It not only refers to a way of life, it also
refers to the very innermost being that everyone holds deep
within. Some allow it to escape gracefully and naturally. Others try
to hide it, which results in their being Pink.
The Bozotic Software Foundation (hereafter referred to as "us" or
"you" or "everyone except Emacs-19") is devoted to writing software and
making sure other people use it. Most of the software is only useful
to less than 10 Bill Gates, Esq. in the entire universe. A few
pieces of it are incredibly essential to the daily functioning of just
about everyone. Some of it may even be useful to you.
Our primary purpose in writing software is to demonstrate just what
true bozos we are. Unlike many other groups, organizations, or
individuals that are Incredibly Pink, we're attempting to use the
computer to its fullest Bozotic Potential (or some say we're allowing
the Computer to use us to our fullest Bozotic Potential). By writing
such inane but useless shellscripts/programs as "create-banner-newsgroups"
and "horoscope", we hope to show that Computers can be more than
useless generators of numbers and pictures of nude bicycle-pump-inflated
women. They do have the Bozo Nature, and we are attempting to find it.
Why we must Write BOZO software
-@&-@&-@&-@&-@&-@&-@&-@&-@&-@&-
As time passes, we seem to find that more people are attempting to
conceal their Bozo Natures. This is inevitable, given societal
pressures to conform to the inane mucky standards that the
lowest-level Pink Hell Nazi Creatures have created. By writing this
software, and forcing everyone to use it (or at least to experience
its effects), we hope to combat the forces of robotic control and
mindless unthinking that are being forced upon the population at
large.
So that we can continue to be Bozos, we have devoted ourselves to
raising the standard of living, thinking, feeling, and acceptance that
IS our universe. We hope that everyone's day will be a little
brighter, thanks to our unceasing efforts to amuse, enlighten, and
support.
We are worried about the influx of humans that believe that programs
such as word-manglers and number-mystifiers are useful for something
other than mystification and awe-infliction. "Look! I got this thing
to calculate something that's close to the right answer! I think..."
This has the BOZO-nature, but only if one understands that it IS
bozotic behavior, and not something that can be used to prove that
John F. Kennedy shot Richard Nixon while he was eating the tapes, or
that the XYZ company should fire all of its employees, or that
Bill Gates, Esq. is good.
Why BOZO is not a Eunuch
*&!*&!*&!*&!*&!*&!*&!*&!
I think that's pretty obvious.
But since it might not be, I'll spell it out for you. There's more
than one Bozo. They reproduce. They're not all women.
How BOZO Will Be Available
!^@!^@!^@!^@!^@!^@!^@!^@!^
Since everyone is a Bozo, ultimately BOZO will be available from
anyone. But, at first it will be very difficult to find it within
ourselves. So instead, we must use a substitute until that day
arrives. Using BSF software is clearly the best way to do this.
BSF software will provide that daily support that everyone needs,
whether it be bozotic horoscopes from hell, insane AT&T YOU WILL
scenarios, or just a friendly popmail daemon that will unceasingly
remind you that you're a bozo.
As an example, our soon-to-be-written calculation program, Bc,
will generate results in a number base other than the one you
used to calculate them in, and will randomly switch the number base
used to interpret the input based on the previous result.
Why All BOZOs Will Benefit
!^@!^@!^@!^@!^@!^@!^@!^@!^
If everyone were aware of and could accept their own Bozo natures,
then no one would be persecuted because of it, because everyone would
be a Bozo and be OK. So all Bozos will benefit from a Bozotic-OK
world, and that's what we're trying to make happen.
Some Easily Rebutted Objections to BOZO's Goals
*@&*@&*@&*@&*@&*@&*@&*0&*@&*@&*@&*@&*@&*@&*@&*@
"Nobody will use it if it is bozotic, because that means it won't
be useful to anyone."
"You have to write non-bozotic software because that's the only
kind that actually does useful work."
We're not trying to write "useful software". We're trying to write
software that can be used, and used often, and that must be used for
the continued survival of the universe. We want to be the folks that
everyone calls "what a total Bozo!"
After all, what person in touch with themselves and with everyone
else would *really* sit down and use a spreadsheet or a word processor
when they could be out doing something productive with their lives, like
raising tomato plants or beating small children over the head with
large pieces of stew meat?
"Don't Bozos deserve ill-treatment for being Bozos?"
"Hopefully those Bozos will starve."
You're a Bozo. I'm a Bozo. We're ALL Bozos. Wanna starve?
In the long run, making programs Bozotic means that they will
behave in ways that people expect and enjoy. This is A Good Thing, in
our opinion. Programs that behave according to rigid rules of order
create mistrust and suspicion in any sentient being, because Everyone
is a Bozo[1].
We hope that as time passes, everyone will come to know and love
that lovable clown, Bozo. We promise to be Bozotic wherever and
whenver we can. Our software is guaranteed to have Bozotic bugs,
and to provide hours of endless enjoyment and fun for the entire
family. It's not guaranteed to work, or work well, or work properly.
In fact, it's really not guaranteed to do anything useful, and may
destroy you and make mad love to your SO. (At least we hope so).
"Look, you damn Bozo, why don't you just shut tbe fuc* up and leave
the rest of us alone?"
"We don't need your stinking bloody worthless stupid BOZO software.
Who are you to inflict your bozosity on everyone else?"
"Who's better, Jim T. Kirk or Jean-Luck Pack(ass)ard[2]?"
Clearly these questions are from a hostile Pink merely trying to undermine
the BOZO effort with pseudo-bozotic behavior. These questions have the
BOZO-nature. That's why we included them.
---------------------------Tailenders---------------------------------------
[1] The wording here is careless. Emacs-19 is NOT a Bozo. He's not allowed.
[2] This is not meant to imply that Jean-Luc is a wimpy old coot that runs
at the first sign of danger and who will be the first against the wall
when the revolution comes. Not at all. And real men use transporters that
don't always work right.
;;Local variables:
;;eval: (if (string-match "^19" emacs-version) (mapatoms '(lambda (s) (progn (makunbound s) (fmakunbound s)))))
;;end: