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dan-quayle-speaks
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A sampling of the wit and wisdom of Vice President Dan Quayle compiled by:
Robert Jacob rob@einstein.ph.utexas.edu
Center for Relativity, Department of Physics, University of Texas at Austin
******************************************************************************
Bobby Knight told me this: 'There is nothing that a good defense cannot beat
a better offense.' In other words a good offense wins.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle comparing the
offensive capabilities of the Warsaw Pact
with the defensive system of NATO
Why wouldn't an enhanced deterrent, a more stable peace, a better prospect to
denying the ones who enter conflict in the first place to have a reduction of
offensive systems and an introduction to defensive capability. I believe that
is the route this country will eventually go.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
Mars is essentially in the same orbit... somewhat the same distance from the
Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals,
we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If
oxygen, that means we can breathe.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is IN the
Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right
here.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle,
Hawaii, September 1989
What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind. Or not to have a mind at all.
How true that is.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle winning friends while
speaking to the United Negro College Fund
You all look like happy campers to me. Happy campers you are, happy campers
you have been, and, as far as I am concerned, happy campers you will always be.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, to the American Samoans,
whose capital Quayle pronounces "Pogo Pogo"
Quayle stumbled in response to a question about his opinion of the Holocaust.
He said it was "an obscene period in our nation's history." Then, trying to
clarify his remark, Quayle said he meant "this century's history" and added a
confusing comment. "We all lived in this century, I didn't live in this
century," he said.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
We expect them [Salvadoran officials] to work toward the elimination of human
rights.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
El Salvador is a democracy so it's not surprising that there are many voices
to be heard here. Yet in my conversations with Salvadorans... I have heard a
single voice.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -
but that could change.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that
one word is 'to be prepared'.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, to the Phoenix Republican
Forum, March 1990
It's rural America. It's where I came from. We always refer to ourselves as
real America. Rural America, real America, real, real, America.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
Target prices? How that works? I know quite a bit about farm policy. I come
from Indiana, which is a farm state. Deficiency payments - which are the key
- that is what gets money into the farmer's hands. We got loan, uh, rates, we
got target, uh, prices, uh, I have worked very closely with my senior
colleague, (Indiana Sen.) Richard Lugar, making sure that the farmers of
Indiana are taken care of.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle on being asked to
define the term "target prices."
Quayle's press secretary then cut short the press
conference, after two minutes and 30 seconds.
I not going to focus on what I have done in the past what I stand for, what I
articulate to the American people. The American people will judge me on what
I am saying and what I have done in the last 12 years in the Congress.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
We should develop anti-satellite weapons because we could not have prevailed
without them in 'Red Storm Rising'.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
The US has a vital interest in that area of the country.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle Referring to Latin America.
Japan is an important ally of ours. Japan and the United States of the
Western industrialized capacity, 60 percent of the GNP, two countries. That's
a statement in and of itself.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
Who would have predicted... that Dubcek, who brought the tanks in in
Czechoslovakia in 1968 is now being proclaimed a hero in Czechoslovakia.
Unbelievable.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
Actually, Dubcek was the leader of the Prague Spring.
May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world.
-- The Quayle's 1989 Christmas card.
[Not a beacon of literacy, though.]
Well, it looks as if the top part fell on the bottom part.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle referring to
the collapsed section of the 880 freeway after
the San Francisco earthquake of 1989.
[this may be a joke; the source is unclear.
but it's still funny]
getting [cruise missles] more accurate so that we can have precise precision.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle referring to his legislative
work dealing with cruise missles
I can identify with steelworkers. I can identify with workers that have had a
difficult time.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle addressing workers at
an Ohio steel plant,1988
[I will never have] another Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy, Jimmy Carter,
Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy Carter grain embargo.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle during the Benson debate
Certainly, I know what to do, and when I am Vice President -- and I will be --
there will be contingency plans under different sets of situations and I tell
you what, I'm not going to go out and hold a news conference about it. I'm
going to put it in a safe and keep it there! Does that answer your question?
-- Vice President Dan Quayle when asked what he
would do if he assumed the Presidency,1988
Lookit, I've done it their way this far and now it's my turn. I'm my own
handler. Any questions? Ask me ... There's not going to be any more handler
stories because I'm the handler ... I'm Doctor Spin.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle responding to press reports of
his aides having to, in effect, "potty train" him.
I would guess that there's adequate low-income housing in this country.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
The real question for 1988 is whether we're going to go forward to tomorrow or
past to the -- to the back!
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity, family,
neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988
We'll let the sunshine in and shine on us, because today we're happy and
tomorrow we'll be even happier.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988
We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
This election is about who's going to be the next President of the United
States!
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988
Don't forget about the importance of the family. It begins with the
family. We're not going to redefine the family. Everybody knows the
definition of the family. [Meaningful pause] A child. [Meaningful pause] A
mother. [Meaningful pause] A father. There are other arrangements of the
family, but that is a family and family values.
I've been very blessed with wonderful parents and a wonderful family, and
I am proud of my family. Anybody turns to their family. I have a very good
family. I'm very fortunate to have a very good family. I believe very
strongly in the family. It's one of the things we have in our platform, is to
talk about it.
I suppose three important things certainly come to my mind that we want to
say thank you. The first would be our family. Your family, my family --
which is composed of an immediate family of a wife and three children, a
larger family with grandparents and aunts and uncles. We all have our family,
whichever that may be ... The very beginnings of civilization, the very
beginnings of this country, goes back to the family. And time and time again,
I'm often reminded, especially in this Presidential campaign, of the
importance of a family, and what a family means to this country. And so when
you pay thanks I suppose the first thing that would come to mind would be to
thank the Lord for the family.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
[On arrival in Guatemala] "How wonderful the Latin-Americans are...I
only wish that I'd studied Latin in College."
"We are the greatest planet on Earth!"