DP Tool Club 24/CD_ASCQ_24_0995.iso/vrac/dcsdayof.zip/DCSDAYOF.TXT

Text File | 1995-05-25 | 20KB | 362 lines

Subject: ST:V -- The Doctor's Day Off

The following witty story was written by my dear friend, B. L. Smith.  I
loved it so much I insisted she allow me to post it here.  I hope you all
enjoy it as much as I do.  Please send comments (especially kudos!)
directly to her at [e-mail].  Encourage her!  A talent like
this should be utilized!

"Star Trek and the characters developed by Paramount are solely the
property of Paramount.  No infringement on my part is intended; however,
this is my story and my story only." -- B. L. Smith

"P.S.  Some of my best friends are lawyers ..."


  The Doctor's Day Off
    By B. L. Smith

         *Medical Log: Stardate 48606.1
         For the third time in as many days, I am reviewing the
    crews' medical files and inventorying all of Voyager's
    medical supplies. Not that there is a need for this
    function; the records were completely up to date four days
    ago when I was activated to treat the laceration over Lt.
    Paris' left eye that was the result of a holographic fist
    fight. However, as is so often the case aboard this ship, my
    patient neglected to terminate me after treatment, leaving
    me to fall back onto my default program of reviewing records
    and inventorying supplies.*

         On his fifth review of the crew's medical records,
    Voyager's emergency medical holographic image noted one of
    the crew members was due for an annual ophthalmological
    examination. Ever efficient, he tapped his
    comm pin and paged his patient.
         "Medical to Captain Janeway."
         The image of Capt. Janeway appeared on his computer
    viewscreen. As the background that accompanied her image was
    not a location on the ship _ the plans for every square in
    of Voyager had been downloaded into his memory _ he deduced
    that she was in the midst of a holodeck simulation of some
    location on Earth.
         "Janeway here. What can I do for you, Doctor?" The
    Captain's voice was heavy with humor, as if she had just
    completed a long laugh.
         "Captain, I am calling to inform you that you are ten
    minutes overdue for your annual ophthalmological
    examination."
         Even the holographic image could tell that Janeway's
    expression was one of bemusement. She put down the drink she
    held in her hand.
         "Doctor, who instructed you to search for that
    information?" she asked.
         "It's my default program, Captain. When I am left on, I
    automatically scan the medical records of the crew to ensure
    their check-ups are current, there are no discrepancies that _"
         The Captain cut him off.
         "And how long have you been reviewing records?" she
    asked, curious.
         The Doctor paused a nanosecond to compute the time,
    then replied. "I have been reviewing records ever since Lt.
    Paris neglected to terminate my program five days, three
    hours, 47 minutes and 18 seconds ago."
         Janeway cast a glance at Paris, who shrugged. Even
    though the Doctor was only an image _ little more than a
    convenience, like a replicator _ the thought of him alone,
    reviewing medical record after medical record continuously
    for more than five days touched her. Unexpectedly, she felt
    a flash of sympathy for the medical supplement. Impulsively,
    she turned to her Chief Engineer, Lt. B'elanna Torres, who
    was in close conversation with a French seamen, albeit a
    holographic one.
         "Is it possible to transfer the emergency medical
    supplement image here? It would give him an opportunity to
    experience a little more of human behavior than what he sees
    in sick bay. This might be a chance for him to learn to get
    along with people better by seeing them in a non-medical
    venue."
         The engineer looked puzzled. The last thing she thought
    the Captain would want while she was enjoying a few minutes
    of relaxation was the company of the
    irascible and tactless "Doctor."
         "Yes Captain, any ship program can be
    transferred to a holographic situation," she replied.
         The Captain grinned. "Good. Let's do it ... and while
    you're at it, why don't you download some of the more
    personable characteristics from one of the physicians upon
    which his medical database is founded."
         B'elanna looked even more puzzled. "Of course, Captain.
    Do you have someone in mind?"
         The Captain waved her hand. "Pick one at random. If we
    don't like it, we can always change it later."
         The engineer walked to the arch near the holodeck's
    doors and began playing with the buttons and slides like a
    concert pianist at a keyboard. "I can't guarantee the
    results at such short notice, Captain, but ..." She pushed
    one last button.

         ******
         As was not unusual, the Captain was ignoring his presence while
    she spoke with her Chief Engineer. Why she would need to be consulted
    about an eye examination was beyond his understanding.  Suddenly he
    felt a shift in his projection and found himself materialized in the
    center of an unfamiliar room.  If he didn't know it was impossible
    he'd have sworn that he 'felt' different.
         For a second, Janeway thought he looked disoriented, but she
    knew that since he was only an image that could only be a momentary
    illusion. The Captain greeted him
         "Welcome, Doctor. I thought observing some of the
    crewmembers at play might be beneficial to expanding your
    knowledge of humanity. This," the Captain swept her hand
    around the room," is a pub, like one you might find around
    the waterfront in Marseille _ slightly seedy, run down, a
    little dangerous ... it's perfect, you'll learn a lot about
    people here. And besides, after reviewing records for more
    than five days, I'd say you earned yourself a day off." The
    Captain smiled to herself at the thought of a piece of
    equipment needing a break. "Why don't you join me in a
    brandy? It's Saurian -- my favorite."
         "Why, that's mighty kind of  you, Captain," said the
    Doctor, bowing his head slightly. His voice pattern had
    changed, the words more drawn out with a soft twang.  It was
    quite different than the Doctor's normally clipped,
    precise speech. The Captain looked at him closely.
    "Why is he talking so strangely?" asked B'elanna. "It
    must be a glitch in the program. Let me adjust _ "
         The Captain caught her arm as she turned toward the
    arch. "No, no, it's fine. It's the accent of the south in
    the old United States of America. Whoever's personality you
    downloaded must have been from there." Janeway looked
    thoughtful.  "It's really quite charming."
         The Doctor took the snifter a holographic waiter
    offered him and headed to a corner of the room where Ensign
    Kim and Lt. Paris were engaged in a game requiring them to
    use long wooden sticks to push multi-colored balls into
    holes evenly located around a table.  The Doctor approached
    Security Officer Tuvok, who was intently observing the
    proceedings.
         "So, how do you play this li'l ol' game?" the Doctor
    asked.
         Tuvok raised an eyebrow before responding. "The object
    of the game is to clear the table of either the solid
    colored or striped balls without knocking in either the
    white or black ball in the process.  Should you fail to sink
    a ball--that is, make one of the balls fall into a pocket--
    your opponent takes over.  The final move requires that you
    sink the black ball, commonly referred to as the 'eight
    ball.'"
         The Doctor drank his brandy in one gulp. "So where's
    the contest in that?" he said in his new southern drawl.
    "Depositing those li'l ol' balls in those big ol' pockets
    only takes some mathematical comp'tation of the angles,
    and a bit of thought about how hard to hit 'em. It don't seem
    like much of a game to me!"  The Doctor grabbed another
    brandy from a passing waiter.
         The Vulcan nodded.  "Yes, Vulcans have long wondered at
    the human fascination with this game. There is an
    interesting aspect, though. Humans prefer to play without
    the benefit of measuring devices--they guess at the angles
    and the forces necessary to propel the balls into the
    pockets. It makes the outcome much less certain."
         Kim and Paris had completed their match. From the
    crestfallen appearance of the Ensign's face, he had
    apparently suffered defeat. Spotting the Doctor eying the
    table, Kim walked over and handed a stick to him.
         "Would you like to give it a try?" he asked.
         "Dammit, Kim, I'm a Doctor not a pool hall hustler,"
    the Doctor said with exasperation. However, he quickly took
    the cue from the young man's hand.
         The Captain shook her head slightly at the puzzled
    glances many of the crew members were sending her way.
    Whatever B'elanna had done to the Doctor's programming had
    certainly changed his demeanor. He deserved additional
    observation.
         "Now, the object is...," started the Ensign helpfully.
        "Don't try to teach a 'coon how to suck eggs, boy,"
    drawled the Doctor. The Doctor carefully lined up his stick,
    and with a firm nudge sent the white cue ball straight into
    the waiting nest of balls. They flew in all directions,
    finding their way into the pockets. When it was done, all
    that remained was the lowly eight ball and the cue.  He
    quickly repositioned for the best shot and the game was
    over.
         "Why this is jest like shootin' fish in a barrel," said
    the medical image. "Now, to make this a real player's game,
    ah say we should make those balls unevenly weighted...,"
         Despite the fact that the game had required little
    challenge on his part, the Doctor became aware of new
    perceptions crowding his computer nets and he found himself
    actually welcoming them. He accessed his non-medical database
    to see if he could pinpoint exactly why his nets should
    react this way when he won a simple game.  Lost in
    contemplation, he was startled when a newcomer joined him.
    As she was not known to him as a crew member, he placed her
    as a holographic enhancement.
         "Bon jour, Monsieur. My name iz Josette. You are very
    skilled at ze pool, n'est-ce pas?"
         The Doctor visually examined her, and had to
    acknowledge that Josette's programmer had been quite adept
    at recreating an attractive human female. Tall and shapely,
    with sultry green eyes and red full lips, Josette was
    certain to make any humanoid male's heart skip a beat. His
    own nets were being flooded with new data.
         "Doc, if I didn't know better, I'd swear you were
    flirting," Paris said with a grin.
         "Don't be a fool, Tom! I leave that kind of trivial
    behavior to Checkov ...," The Doctor stopped as he noted the
    look of confusion on Paris' face. Now, where had THAT name
    come from?
         Feeling surprisingly confident, he offered Josette his
    arm and downed a third brandy. Yes, this experience was
    turning out to be an exceptional learning opportunity.  His
    processors had gathered more information in the last few
    minutes than in the last five days. His eyes swept the room
    to observe the other crewmembers taking part in this program
    to see if he could accumulate more data.
         Across the room, the Captain was in intimate
    conversation with a strapping young French seaman dressed in a too-
    tight shirt open to the waist. The sailor reached up casually to brush
    aside a strand that had escaped Janeway's severely coiffed hair.
    His hand lingered on her neck. The Doctor's net surged. He
    placed his glass down and swept over to her side. He took
    her arm and lead her away.
         "Dammit, Kate, what could you be thinking?  That guy is
    half your age and he's up to no good."
         Janeway looked at him in puzzlement. She had never seen,
    or even heard, of a holographic image who behaved as this
    one did. There was something not right about this. Perhaps
    she should check out exactly what B'elanna had downloaded
    into the Doctor's nets. As the Doctor returned to the comely
    Josette, the Captain hastened to locate her chief engineer.
         "B'elanna what in heavens name is happening with the
    Doctor? Whose personality did you give him anyway? I was
    hoping that he'd loosen up a little not fall apart
    completely," asked the Captain.
         The young engineer looked contrite. "Captain, I did
    warn you that I wouldn't be able to guarantee the results. I
    scanned the list of medical personnel used to compile his
    programming but as I knew nothing about them I was forced to
    choose one at random. I picked one named one named M'Coy-- I
    thought he might be Klingon ..."
         Janeway's mouth dropped open and she gaped at the young
    woman. Could it be possible that the engineer had never
    heard of Dr. Leonard McCoy, one of Star Fleet's icons? In
    quick realization, she snapped her mouth closed. She's
    forgotten B'Elanna left Star Fleet Academy before completing
    her last year. She never would have taken Professor Ulana's,
    "A History of Star Fleet: Great Leaders and Leadership,"
    course that was mandatory for all seniors. Professor Ulana
    had been teaching the course for more than 30 years, and she
    never failed to spend at least three weeks on what the more
    irreverent members of the Academy called the "holy Trinity":
    James T. Kirk, Spock, and Leonard McCoy.
         The younger woman crossed her arms and scowled. "Who
    ever he was, he was no Klingon!"
         Janeway stifled the laughter rising up in her. She shook her
    head. One thing was certain. Dr. Leonard McCoy--bon vivant,
    adventurer, confidante to the great James Kirk, and
    physician extraordinaire--was no Klingon. And now it
    appeared his personification was dancing in her holodeck.
         The Doctor danced cheek to cheek with Josette. For the
    first time since he had come on line, he didn't feel
    exasperated that he hadn't been turned off  when not
    performing medical duties. In fact, the way his nets were
    reacting was ... exceptionally ... educational. There was,
    however, a small glitch in his system. His sensory net
    couldn't perceive the tip of his nose and his speech pattern
    was developing a slur. Still, it didn't seem worth the effort of a
    self diagnostic.
         Ensign Kim tapped Lt. Paris who was himself in deep
    conversation with a beautiful French girl.
         "Tom, what's with the Doctor? If I didn't know better
    I'd say he was getting smashed. Is that possible on
    holographic alcohol?"
         "I guess it could be, if you're hologram yourself," Paris
     chuckled. "Looks like our straight-laced physician has
     become unlaced."
         The Doctor had stopped dancing but hadn't released his
    new friend Josette from his embrace. Engaged now in a
    rousing rendition of an ancient Earth sea chanty, his
    spirited enjoyment of the occasion was spreading throughout
    the establishment. Unfortunately, the gaiety was interrupted
    by the chirp of the Captain's comm badge.
         "Yes, Commander Chakotay."
         "Captain, we are being hailed by an alien vessel.
    Their ship shows heavy damage and they are asking for
    medical assistance."
         "I'm on my way, Commander."
         Janeway turned in dismay to her tipsy holographic
    physician. The rest of her crew would be sober and ready for
    work when they left this environment, but what about him? He
    stood in the middle of the room, grinning uncontrollably.
        She knew of only one way to ensure he would be ready to
    treat the patients she was about to send him. She felt a
    surprising pang of loss. In her attempt to let the Doctor sample a
    human personality she had neglected to foresee what damage could be
    done when that experience was terminated. Would he remember this
    experience and somehow feel incomplete from now on?
         Despite his condition the Doctor knew where the Captain's...and
    his...duty lay.  Nevertheless he was not prepared to go back to the
    shell that he had been.  Simulating a drunken stagger, he stumbled
    against the computer arch where he surreptitiously hit a few keys, then
    slid a small chip into his lab coat. He braced himself as Janeway
    sighed and issued her order.
        "Lt. Torres, delete your McCoy program from the Doctor's memory
    matrix, please."
         The room fell still as the engineer moved beside the Doctor and
    slowly touched the archway controls.

                           *****

         "This is the Emergency Medical Holographic Supplemental
    program, please state the nature of the medical emergency..."
         Capt. Janeway stood in the doorway of sickbay, watching
    the Doctor treat patient after patient efficiently and
    tirelessly. It had been eight hours since injured Drixelians
    had started beaming into medical suffering from broken
    bones, lacerations, and radiation burns. He never hesitated
    for an instant. When he had completed the treatment of one
    patient, he moved on to the next. He performed exactly as he
    was programmed to perform.
         She entered quietly and continued to watch him for
    several moments before she was able to catch him at a
    convenient stopping place.
         "Doctor."
         He looked up, noticing her for the first time.
         "Captain. You wish a report? We have treated twenty-three
    Drixelians, all of whom shouldn't suffer any permanent
    damage. I've been able to download a significant amount of
    information about Drixelian anatomy into our database."
         He spoke with the precision of his pre-McCoy experience,
    she noted sadly.
         "Then, if you are through here, I will terminate your program..."
         "That is not necessary Captain," the physician spoke brusquely,
    "There is some further research I should pursue with the data I've
    gathered in the past several hours."
         "Very well, Doctor. Inform me when your studies are complete."
         Janeway started purposely from Sick Bay only to pause at the
    doorway.
         The Doctor impatiently glanced up from his screen:
         "Is there something else, Captain?"
         "Yes, about the holodeck, I wish to apologize..." she stopped
    uncertain of what more to say.
         "Captain, if you wish to offer condolences on the loss of my
    'enhancement program', there is no need.  Human emotions are an
    unnecessary burden to a medical program.  Now, if you are finished, I
    should return to my study."

                     *****

         He slid the chip into the computer slot. In an instant he found
    himself gazing into the sparkling green eyes of the comely Josette.
         "Now, eef I remember correctly, I  wuz going to tell
    you about zee relaxation techniques I leerned when last I
    wus in Paree ...," she said. "I theenk you weel enjoy them,
    but they take quite a long time to teech."
         The Doctor stretched himself comfortably in the chair behind his
    desk. He looked around the now empty sickbay.
         "It appears, my dear Mademoiselle, that we have all the time you
    need..."