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Text File  |  1995-05-09  |  5KB  |  119 lines
  1.                                   RIDDLES
  2.  
  3.                                   WHAT IS
  4.                               BLACK AND WHITE
  5.                              AND RED ALL OVER?
  6.                                      1
  7.                                  Newspaper
  8.                                      2
  9.                               Embarassed Zebra
  10.                                      3
  11.                            Mixed Communist Couple
  12.                                     ***
  13.                                   WHAT IS
  14.                                   A ZEBRA?
  15.                                      1 
  16.                               A striped mule.
  17.                                      2
  18.                                Like an A Bra
  19.                              only much larger.
  20.                                     ***
  21.                                   WHAT IS
  22.                                  A ZOOKIE?
  23.                                      1
  24.                               A zonked Cookie.
  25.                                      2
  26.                              A key to the zoo.
  27.                                     ***
  28.                                 PATCH IT UP
  29.                               PATCH IT AROUND
  30.                             Still it has a hole 
  31.                                in the middle.
  32.                              Guess this riddle
  33.                                and you're fit 
  34.                                 as a fiddle.
  35.                                 (A chimney).
  36.                                     ***
  37.                                  WHAT HAS
  38.                            SIX WHEELS AND FLIES?
  39.                                      1
  40.                               A big airplane.
  41.                                      2
  42.                               A garbage truck.
  43.                                     ***
  44.                             IF A HEN AND A HALF
  45.                           lays an egg and a half
  46.                             in a day and a half
  47.                            how long will it take
  48.                                 a bullfrog
  49.                            to kick the warts off
  50.                               a dill pickle?
  51.                                     ***
  52.                                   WHAT IS
  53.                                 A BOOBY BUG?
  54.                               (A little bug
  55.                            that hides in flowers
  56.                         and when a bee comes along
  57.                            it yells, "Boo, Bee!")
  58.                                     ***
  59.                                   WHAT IS
  60.                                   YELLOW
  61.                              WEIGHS 500 POUNDS
  62.                                 AND SINGS?
  63.                                      1
  64.                                An overweight
  65.                                draft-dodging
  66.                                stool pigeon.
  67.                                      2
  68.                                 A 500 pound 
  69.                                   canary.
  70.                                     ***
  71.                               WHAT IS STUPID
  72.                           AND READS THIS DRIVEL?
  73.                                      1
  74.                                 The reader.
  75.                                      2
  76.                                 The writer.
  77.                                     ***
  78.                               WHAT DO YOU GET
  79.                               WHEN YOU CROSS 
  80.                                  A LIBERAL
  81.                               WITH A GORILLA?
  82.                                      1
  83.                                   Nothing.
  84.                                  A gorilla
  85.                                 won't marry 
  86.                                  a liberal.
  87.                                      2
  88.                              A retarded gorilla.
  89.                                     *** 
  90.                            HOW DO YOU KEEP A FISH 
  91.                                FROM SMELLING?
  92.                               (Hold his nose).
  93.                                     ***
  94.                            HOW DO YOU KEEP A BULL 
  95.                                FROM CHARGING?
  96.                             (Take away his VISA).
  97.                                     ***
  98.                                 BROKE FARMER
  99.                              What seven letters 
  100.                               of the alphabet
  101.                              did the farmer say
  102.                                when he looked
  103.                               into his wallet?
  104.                               (O I C U R M T)
  105.                                     ***
  106.                                WOT HAPPENED?
  107.                                What happens
  108.                              once in a minute,
  109.                             twice in a moment,
  110.                               and never in a 
  111.                               thousand years?
  112.                               (The letter "M")
  113.                                     ***
  114.  
  115.  
  116.                                     END
  117.  
  118.  
  119.