Jan Page's green burial

Jan was the first person to be buried in a woodland grave at the edge of a New Forest District Council cemetery - appropriately since he had led the campaign for woodland burial in the district. The small cemetery at Beaulieu is out in the fields, surrounded by trees with just one cottage nearby. I arrived in Jan's beloved 1973 Mercedes Benz, washed for the occasion, with red, blue and yellow ribbons tied to all four door-handles and to the Mercedes mascot on the front. Most people (especially the family) complied with Jan's wish that they wear bright colours.

More than 65 people packed into the tiny chapel at the cemetery and there was standing room only at the back and in the open doorway. Outside the sun shone and the birds were singing. There was the distant sound of a lawn mower and cock pheasants were calling in the woods ...

My husband and I had faced the prediction that he would live between six and nine months (he actually made 11 months), and we were in no doubt towards the end that planning the funeral ourselves and discussing it with his grown-up children helped us all to come to terms with his approaching death. The success of the event made the family feel very good that we had carried out my husband's wishes to the letter - although this could not diminish our great sadness and sense of loss afterwards. Only time will do that.

Green burial grounds locally

Body bag

Some people choose to bury the body in just a body bag or a shroud. You need to check whether this is acceptable to the cemetery or woodland burial ground of your choice.

Cardboard coffins

It doesn't look much like a coffin, just a big white cardboard box, slightly wider at one end than at the other. Check it carefully on arrival - the carriers damaged the first two we received and at one point we had two damaged cardboard coffins on the dining-room table!

But it was perfectly satisfactory, with a cunning drop-in lid. The plain white finish looked pretty slab-like, so I decided at the last minute to cover it with gift-wrapping paper. If you are nimble-fingered, this is no problem, just a bit fiddly round the folded corners. It took 13 sheets of standard gift wrap, two cans of Spraymount repositionable adhesive spray, and some parcel tape and Scotch tape for hidden reinforcement.

A slight disadvantage was that it has no handles. Barbara Butler at the Independent Funerals Advisory Service solved that one for me with a phone call. I bought three four-foot long pieces of planed 2" x 1" wood and sanded down about 6" at the ends. Slipped under the coffin, these provided a very satisfactory way for six of us to carry the coffin. It was easy to get a friend to take them out for us when we had laid the coffin on the wooden bearers laid across the width of the grave by the grave diggers. [Ed: As I understand it, professional pallbearers do not use handles, which are merely decorative. The cardboard coffin is lifted from below and carried on the shoulders.]

Storing the body until the funeral

Lymington Hospital mortuary is the local public mortuary and although he had never been asked before, Mr Habens, the General Services Manager (tel 01590 677011) was very helpful indeed. He agreed to take the body for up to ten days, provided that it was in a body bag and that there was space. He added that if there was pressure on mortuary space and he had to move the body to Southampton General Hospital mortuary, he would have to charge us for transport. There was no charge for use of the mortuary but he suggested a donation to hospital funds.

Transporting the body to the mortuary

But: the stretcher will be pretty long - you need to measure it and be sure that it will fit into your transport - a van is likely to be best, and is easily hired.

Booking the venue for a non-religious ceremony

Planning the ceremony or service

We felt that we did not like the idea of throwing earth on to the coffin in the grave. So on the morning of the funeral I cut flowers from the garden and took them in pots of water to the funeral. We put them outside the chapel door and people picked them up as they left to walk across to the graveside. We all took it in turns to throw a single flower on to the coffin once it was in the grave and after the final words of committal. It worked well especially as my husband had requested no formal flowers at all.

Transporting the body to the funeral

So at the last minute, and getting desperate, I approached local funeral directors House and Sons (33-34 High Street,, Lymington, tel 01590 673142; fax 01590 672964). I hadn't done so before - I think I feared a rebuff. But they couldn't have been more helpful, and used their Vauxhall Carlton estate, as my husband was anti-hearse.

Lowering the coffin into the grave

Jan's colleague said a last short sentence of committal and we threw in our single flowers and said goodbye to Jan. The sun was shining through the new leaves on the trees around, full of singing birds, and the grave site was surrounded by bluebells. Grass with wild-flower seeds will be sown and a tree or shrub planted over the grave in due course.

There was general agreement that it had been a perfect funeral. One friend vowed to go home and change her funeral instructions in her will at once. We adjourned to a hotel in Lymington for tea, where I had arranged a display about Jan's life for the interest of those who only knew him for one period of it.

In conclusion