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FOOL.DOC
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Text File
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1990-08-20
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7KB
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175 lines
The world is but a fool's paradise.......
FOOL
(C) 1990 Dan Desjardins
6426 Hubbard Ave.
Middleton, WI 53562
If you like this program I would appreciate a registration
fee of $5.00 (and a few extra insults) sent to the above address. A
mere pittance for the joy of watching your favorite computer
junkie throw fits.....
What does FOOL do
Not much.
But it's fun! Fool will randomly return a disgusting
insult instead of running the command, or program the "subject"
tries to run. For example: At the DOS prompt the subject may
enter: C:\>cls - then hit ENTER. chances are he/she will clear
the screen. But there's about a 10 per cent chance they will
simply get horribly insulted. (You can make it happen more often
- see below).
In addition, you can tell FOOL to ALWAYS insult the
person when they try to load a certain program (or up to three
programs). In this case they will never be able to run the
program, they will only be defiled. You also have the option of
just having it do the random insults, which is always active.
Once a program is succesfully invoked, FOOL will not
interfere with it. Only after the user returns to the DOS prompt
will the antics begin again.
How to use FOOL
There are two files needed:
FOOL.EXE
FOOLISH
FOOLISH is a simple ASCII text file containing two
elements: The programs you want your "subject" to be insulted
by, and the list of insults. Feel free to change these, I realy
didn't spend much time on them. The format is:
program [optional program specific message]
program [optional program specific message]
program [optional program specific message]
insult
insult
(40 insults provided)
The first three lines are the programs you will tell FOOL
to no longer allow to run, instead replacing it with some foolish
remark at the DOS prompt. You can only put in three. If you
want to put in less, make sure you still put in something for the
other two positions in the file. For example, I usually only put
one in and put pound signs (#) in the other two positions. If
you don't want to disable any programs, but just get the random
insults (random insults is always active) just put pound signs in
all three positions.
Additionally you have the option of putting in a specific
insult that will be delivered whenever an attempt is made to invoke
the program. For exampe: If in the first position you put:
WP No Way .... learn to use a REAL word processor like WordStar!
Then any time the user enters WP at the DOS prompt they will get the
message: No Way .... learn to use a REAL word processor like WordStar!
If you leave out the program specific message FOOL will choose one of the
many other insults at random.
The FOOLISH file comes with all of the insults you will
need, but you may add or type over any of them you don't like. You may put
as many insults in this file as you like, or as few. One hint though,
for slower computers I recommend you use a shorter file, because the
randomizer has to read each line at a time. Slow computers (like older
XTs) can take a second or more. If you are trying to run this on a floppy
I recommend you only have about 10 insults.
You must put the FOOLISH file somewhere in your DOS path,
usually the root directory is best. FOOL will find it in other
path locations though, as long as the other location is in the PATH.
FOOL checks the FOOLISH file for profanity, and disallows it.
Sorry folks, but I wrote it and consider the use of profanity in such
a manner unacceptable.
There is only two possible parameters for invoking
FOOL.
% -or- ?
% is one of the following: 1%, 5%, 10%, 25%, 50%
-this is a percentage that a random insult will be delivered.
10% is the default.
? will show a syntax help screen
Once you are in FOOL (or your subject is) you may exit at
any time by typing QUIT at the DOS prompt.
If you want to know if FOOL is still running just type
FOOL again and you will get the message:
I'm here....
It will only stay there for 4 seconds, then disappear followed
by a DOS error message.
When FOOL is invoked, there is no message. This is so
you can put it in someones autoexec file, and they'll never know
until they look at the autoexec.bat.
Legal statement:
I don't warrant this software to be safe, free from
defects, free of viruses, or even life threatening code. All
reasonable care has been taken to ensure proper operation with
minimal interference with other applications. However, I, nor
mine, shall be held liable for any and all damages caused by this
software, or any application of this software. You may distribute
provided the following conditions are met:
1. You do not charge more than $5.00 for the disk.
2. You do not modify the executable in any way.
3. Abosolutely no vulgar, ribald, or implied profanity is
added to the insult (FOOLISH) file!
4. That you distribute ALL THREE files: FOOL.EXE - FOOLISH -
FOOL.DOC.
About FOOL:
Fool was written using Wenham Softwares BATCOM. Yes, believe
it or not, this is nothing but a compiled batch file. It is not truely
memory resident, but sure acts like one. BATCOM actually is an extremely
enhanced batch file language. I highly recommend it. It's fun! For the
programmers familiar with BATCOM - I did not use the TesSerAct library
functions.
Fool will take about 13k from memory while it is running, so check
your computer to make sure this won't cripple it.
Technique
I want to mention technique here. I have recieved several comments
from people who want to have FOOL ALWAYS return an insult. In my opinion
this really wouldn't be any fun. The way this works is to insult the user
only on occasion, and/or only for specific commands. This method messes
with their minds more. It's possible that some poor slob will never
quite figure out what's going on, and leave it in their machine for months,
or until he asks someone who knows more about computers if: "It's supposed
to do this?"
One final comment:
heh heh!