Washington - A special Presidential Commission today announced that Microsoft Corporation has been selected to audit and investigate the Internal Revenue Service in the wake of accusations of incompetence and corruption. Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates said today that his long-term strategy will be to streamline and overhaul the agency by developing software systems that will essentially eliminate currency and automatically generate taxes. Experts speculate that an economy based on Microsoft stock would be more stable and growth-oriented than the current system.
Microsoft has been involved in an ongoing feud with the I.R.S. since last year's rumors that the software giant was negotiating to purchase the Catholic Church. Although those speculations were denied by Gates, insiders report that Vatican officials were not opposed to the concept. Pope John Paul II could not be reached for comment.
Involvement by Microsoft in the management and operations of the I.R.S. could spark a wave of involvement in other areas of government. Gates reportedly has been secretly developing a plan for the military to allow future wars to be fought in cyberspace. Another plan includes replacing the judicial system with an on-line service that will incorporate computer generated plea-bargaining and sentencing.
Political analysts have long predicted that with the increased access of citizens to the Information Highway, an entirely new form of Cyber-democracy might evolve, eliminating the need for the legislative branch of government. Many argue that if the populace were able to vote on legislative issues using the convenience of their home computers, a more democratic system of self-government could evolve. Others fear, however, that such a technology could be easily manipulated by corporate influences, hackers or cyber-terrorists, resulting in a form of Cyber-feudalism.
Critics of Microsoft and it's involvement with the I.R.S. point out that Chairman Gates is one of the richest men in America. "It is like putting the chickens in charge of the worm farm," said one anonymous source.
