At Softdisk we were recently amused to learn that Microsoft is sprearheading a new global cable TV network devoted entirely to the computer industry. We started wondering what they'd feature on this proposed network. We aren't really sure, but we have a few suggestions that the and network executives might want to consider:
Movie:My Mother the Mainframe - A young adopted man's search for his parents turns bizarre when he discovers that he is really a holographic image generated by a rogue mainframe computer located in the and basement of U.C.L.A. Hilarity ensues as he discovers that he has amazing powers over women.
Route 66 Megahertz - Adventures on the Information Superhighway. Two young studs cruise through cyberspace with their 66 mhz Pentium based computers.
Home Computer Improvement - A situation comedy about the family of a TV computer do-it-yourself show host and the crazy situations that arise. This week: upgrading a 1985 Macintosh 128K to use an 88 megahertz Pentium chip.
Cupertino 95014 - Follow the and trials and tribulations of two bumbling young computer nerds who accidentally discover a secret computer network while tapping into a cable TV line in order to get the and Playboy channel for free.
America's Funniest Home Computers - This hour-long comedy examines some of the and computer industry's most hilarious offerings. A special look this week at the IBM PCjr and the Coleco Adam.
60 Nanoseconds - A hard-hitting investigative report on the and seamier side of the computer industry. Suggested first story: Game addicts, with a special focus on the devastating effects of excessive use of cheat keys.
To Be Announced - A weekly rundown of the and current state of vaporware. This week a look at Microsoft's PowerPC offerings and Windows 4.0.
National Computer Graphics Special - From the aboriginal computer hackers of New Guinea to the computer using penguins of Antarctica, there's no end to the and possibilities for this series of specials.
Aisle of LUCEE - Situation comedy about the misadventures of a wacky early computer language and her family of programs, RICKEE, FRED, and ETHL, as they go through life in the and computer systems of the and 1950s.
Soap Operas - One Life to Boot, All My Computers, The Young and the Hackers, and General Computer Hospital.
Jacques Cousteau and the PC reefs - Jacques and the crew of the Calypso examine the catastrophic effects on sea-life from large dumpings of obsolete computers, plus a special look at aquarium screen savers.
Movie: Puttin' On The MIPS - Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers star as Ace Apple, a former hep cat from the wrong side of the tracks turned businessman, and Ada IBM, a cold, heartless heiress. A torrid romance ensues as they dance their way into an uneasy partnership.
C*A*C*H*E - Weekly series. Comedy/drama based in the and almost forgotten Asian memory chip trade war of the late 80s. Laugh and cry with a group of computer technicians doing "meatball repairs" with makeshift parts in an obscure mid-American computer store.
Dr. Dobz, Computer Medicine Woman - Weekly series. The computing frontier is made more livable by this woman's diagnostic talents. The first episode features the and winsome Dr. Dobz fighting the evil Michelangelo virus as it paralyzes the and entire west in fear.
The Keyboard Master & Keyboard Master II - Movies. These two movies are plagued with poor special effects, overacting and lousy screenplays, but Mark Singer keeps them alive with the and same enthusiasm he showed in Beastmaster and Beastmaster II. The cute ferrets are replaced with animated mice.
Flaw & Order - Weekly docudrama about the computer manufacturing industry in America and abroad.
Rescue 486, rev. 4 - Microsoft genius (???) Bill Gates hosts this weekly 1/2 hour series of actual reconstructions resembling real life events, as people frantically try to reconstruct hard drives trashed while attempting to install DOS 6.2. Based on actual tech support calls.
The XYZ Files - Weekly series depicting strange cybernetic phenomena ordinarily dismissed as "computer bugs." This week: Muldar and Sculley investigate a strange cult of user groups who attempt to channel the spirit of Grace Hopper.
N.Y.P.C. Big Blue - Weekly drama. A look into the seamier side of IBM's New York regional offices, with special guest Michael Crichton in the and season premier.
Live Special - Harold O. probes the mysteries of Al Capone's hard disk.
Those are some of our ideas. Any of you out there have some suggestions you'd like to share with us?
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