^CDefinitions that aren't (but should be) in a technical dictionary.
RESOLUTION - What you need to purchase a $3,000.00 computer that you know will be obsolete before you finish paying for it.
READ ONLY MEMORY - Memory that is so expensive you can only read about it.
MULTI-MEDIA - Reading the newspaper while watching cartoons on television and listening to Rush Limbaugh on the radio.
MONITOR - What your boss is probably doing to your network e-mail messages.
NET-WORK - What Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul Jabaar and Michael Jordan are famous for.
MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey takes Minnie after the cartoon is over.
RAM-CACHE - Money you spend to increase your computer's memory capacity.
MEMORY CHIPS - Available in barbecue, sour cream and onion, and the ever popular regular flavor.
DIP SWITCH - When someone replaces your onion dip with that cheap bean dip everyone hates.
STATIC RAM - Memory chips that just sit in a drawer somewhere because they aren't compatible with your latest upgrade.
HARD DRIVE - The 460 yard par 4 17th hole at Pebble Beach.
ARCHIVE - A nest of buzzing stinging arcs.
ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE - The language used to describe how to put bicycles, swing sets and other large objects together. Probably a derivative of non-linear B, which has never been translated to English.
BACKUP - What your spouse makes you do when you stop in front of the computer shop.
^CWords that should be in the dictionary but aren't.
KEYBORED - That lazy feeling you get after three hours of retyping your company's quarterly report.
MOUSE-CLIQUE - Uppity computer users who brag about their mouse-compatible computers.
MEGA-BITE - The chunk of money removed from your wallet when you bought your computer.
PRO-GRAM - A grandmother who has renounced her amateur status.
