Monster Media 1994 #1/monster.zip/monster/MAGAZINE/SM9402.ZIP/NERD

Text File | 1994-02-03 | 15KB | 302 lines

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 ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░THE NERD LIBERATION MOVEMENT░░░░░░░░░░░Marc Perkel
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ANNOUNCING THE NERD LIBERATION MOVEMENT ...

   Speaking about coming out of the back room, I'm in the process of
   filing for a registered trademark on the Nerd Liberation
   Movement.  I've already been making buttons, but I'm going to
   expand to T-shirts, baseball caps, clocks, and other goodies.
   Thinking Magazine will be the official newsletter of the NLM and
   the group is not soliciting members.  The NLM will also be a
   political organization for lobbying Congress on nerd-related
   issues.

   As the founder of the NLM, I have decided that my title will be
   Supreme Commander (is this too humble?) and that I am member
   number one.  Each new member will receive the next sequential
   number when he or she joins, and will keep this number forever.
   That way you can go down in history as one of the founding
   members if you get in early.  This will give you something to
   tell your grandchildren about how you were there, in the
   beginning.  What a proud moment!

   As I register new members, you will be entered into the official
   NLM computer database and, unlike Ross Perot's United We Stand
   organization, I'm not going to jump the membership count up into
   the millions just to make it look like there are more members
   than there really is.  So if you're number 25, you will keep that
   number and even if you don't renew your membership, no one else
   will ever be number 25.

   Joining the NLM is easy.  All you have to do is be a nerd, and
   send me $25 for your first year's membership.  That's all there
   is to it!  For your 25 bucks you will receive your membership
   number and a Nerd Liberation Movement button that also says,
   Coming out of the Back Room.  I will spend the money I receive
   any way I see fit, but it will initially go to help pay my phone
   bill for faxing Congress and the press.  Just fill out the form
   at he end of this issue of Thinking Magazine and send it to me by
   mail, fax, or E-mail.  To can send a check or use your Master
   Card, Visa, Discover, or Diners Club.  Sorry, we don't take
   American Express or COD orders.


   WHAT EXACTLY IS A NERD?  ...

   You may be saying to yourself right now, Marc, your NLM sounds
   really cool to me.  But you said that I have to be a nerd and I
   don't know if I qualify.  How do I tell if I'm a nerd or not?  I
   don't have a pocket pen protector or thick glasses taped in the
   middle.  I don't even have a cellular phone or a laptop computer!
   Could I still be a nerd?

   I'm glad you asked that question because I've given this a lot of
   thought and I think I have the answer.

   A nerd is someone who like to think.  A nerd is like an athlete
   of the mind.  An athlete is not someone who just runs an athlete
   is someone who likes to run who lives to run.  And it doesn't
   matter how well you run or how fast you are you just have to love
   running.

   A nerd is someone who loves to think needs to think lives to
   think.  It doesn't matter how smart you are or if you can program
   computers.  What matters is that you are someone who is
   interested in everything.  A nerd wants to know about things, to
   understand things.  A nerd wants to know, How does it work?  Why
   is it that way?  Why is there something rather than just nothing?
   Where can I get more information on that subject?  If God knows
   the future, but he created us anyway, then isn't it his fault?
   When did that turn of phrase become popular?  Who says I can't go
   faster than the speed of light?

   A nerd is someone who wants to live forever, just so he or she
   can understand everything about everything.  A nerd feels the
   frustration of being limited to communication with only words
   wishing there were a way to increase the bandwidth somehow.  A
   nerd believes that there isn't anything he or she can't
   eventually understand, given enough time and the desire to
   understand it.

   Are you frustrated with people around you because they don't stop
   to think?  Do you think it's hard to find people with whom you
   can really discuss the things you're fascinated with?  Do you ask
   yourself, How did I end up in this reality?  Do you feel the
   pressure to hold back your mental abilities in public because you
   don't want to offend people?  Have people told you to your face
   that your breadth of knowledge is fascinating but told others
   behind your back that you are a droning bore because you persist
   in enthusiastically talking about obscure subjects they've never
   heard of?  If the answer to these questions is Yes, then you're
   probably a nerd.


   NERD-RELATED ISSUES ...

   I said I was going to lobby Congress on nerd-related issues.  But
   what is a nerd-related issue?  What do nerds want government to
   do?  To me, nerd-related issues are those that deal with policies
   and the workings of society as it relates to nerdom.

   What are a few specific nerd-related issues?  Well, lets start
   with education.  Football is a game, not a career.  When I look
   at the money that America spends on sports, as compared to what
   it spends on science or computer labs, it makes me sick!  It's
   not that I'm against sports.  It's that school is supposed to be
   for education and games for entertainment.  I think less state
   and federal money should be spent on games and more money
   budgeted for education.

   Other nerd-related economic issues include supporting the
   information highway, research and development tax credits, faster
   depreciation schedules for computer equipment, and investment tax
   credits for the purchase of high tech equipment.  Furthermore,
   nerds tend to favor the exploration of space, creating workable
   solutions to environmental pollution problems, and increasing
   international cooperation in scientific research.

   Ordinary people rarely accomplish anything.  Society advances
   because of its extraordinary people.  Now, existentially
   speaking, when ordinary people do something extraordinary, they
   are no longer ordinary.  But most of the time when someone does
   something extraordinary, it's because he or she was already
   extraordinary and had been working long and hard to accomplish
   it.  Yet, despite this, there is little social acceptance of
   extraordinary people in this culture, so many of them pretend
   that their breakthrough accomplishments were something that just
   happened because they were lucky,

   People who run high-tech businesses but are not inventive
   themselves sometimes explain their companies' new developments by
   jokingly saying, We have this nerd that we keep locked in the
   back room.  Friends, this is no laughing matter because in
   reality, nerds are locked in the back room!  And that's what the
   NLM is really all about.  We're coming out of the back room to
   take our rightful place as leaders, breaking our bonds of
   oppression at the hands of those who think it's somehow uncool to
   be smart.


   HOUSE WIRING FOR NERDS ...

   I've been an electrician this weekend, doing a little house
   wiring.  I don't know how many of you are familiar with it, but I
   installed some X-10 based home automation equipment.  What's
   X-10?, you ask.  Well, X-10 is really cool stuff.

   X-10 is a control standard that allows you to turn on and off
   lights and appliances by sending signals over your house wiring.
   These signals can control up to 256 devices.  With X-10 controls,
   you can install timers that turn lights on and off at different
   times, use wireless transmitters to turn things on and off, add
   wireless alarm and security systems that control sirens and call
   the cops, or use your home computer to control your house
   lighting.  And the best part is that X-10 is simple to install
   and requires no special wiring or technical skills.  If you have
   enough skill to replace a wall light switch, you can install
   X-10.

   The most common place to get X-10 stuff is Radio Shack, where it
   is marketed under the name Plug 'n Power.  But if you really want
   to get into it, you can get a better selection and lower prices
   from a place called Home Control Concepts (800-CONTROL).

   Here's how it works.  You plug in a controller that has buttons
   to turn on and off 8 devices.  It also has Dim/Bright controls.
   Then you take a lamp module and plug it into the wall and plug
   your lamp into it.  You then turn the dials on the lamp module to
   give it a unique address.  Then, if you push the button on the
   controller, it turns the lamp on.  It's that simple!

   Now, you set up 7 more lamps with other codes.  Use the
   controller and now you can control all 8 of them.  Now you want
   to make your home look like someone is there when you're gone?
   No problem.  All you have to do is get an X-10 controller/timer
   and program in a sequence and it turns your 8 lights on and off
   at preset times.

   Now if you want to work the ceiling lights, \all you have to do
   is remove your light switch from the wall.  Connect the two wires
   to an X-10 wall switch instead and put it back in the wall.  Just
   like your wall switch, you push the button once, the light comes
   on.  Push it again, the light goes off.  What's different is that
   in addition to pushing the button, you can also turn the light on
   from any X-10 controller.

   Sounds cool, doesn't it?  I'm just starting.  Suppose you want
   that coffee pot to come on at 6:00 am.  No problem.  Just plug it
   into an appliance module and plug the appliance module into the
   wall, set the address, and let the timer turn it on for you.  Can
   it be that easy?  Yes!

   But Marc, I don't like to get up out of my recliner.  What can
   X-10 do for me?  That's easy, you plug a receiver module into any
   wall socket.  You can then send signals to it from a hand-held
   controller which will control 8 devices plugged into other
   sockets around the house.  But you're not limited to just one
   wireless controller.  You can buy wireless switches that you
   attach to the wall with Velcro and they even give you the Velcro!
   Want to add a wall switch?  Just stick it on the wall.  Want two
   switches controlling the same set of lights?  No problem!  Just
   stick another switch on another wall.

   Yeah, but how much does it cost?  That's the best part.  This
   stuff is amazingly cheap.  Quoting prices from Home Control
   Concepts, lamp modules are only $6 each when bought 6 at a time.
   A three prong appliance module is only $10!  A door bell chime
   module: $16.  Wall switch replacement with built in dimmer: $10.
   8-channel wireless remote with receiver: only $35.  16-device
   plug-in controller: $18.  Timer/controller with alarm clock: $30.

   But it doesn't stop there.  There's also X-10 stuff for the
   really serious nerd.  Computer interface: $54.  Security console:
   $98.  Wireless motion detector: $50.  Wireless window/door
   sensor: $15.  110 DB external siren: only $30.  Smart security
   flood lights: $40.  Telephone X-10 controller that lets you
   control your lights from any telephone in the world: only $150.

   This stuff is amazing as it is, but with the right computer
   software it could be incredible.  Suppose you open the front door
   and it's dark outside.  Obviously you want the lights to come on.
   The house knows you are arriving outdoors and it automatically
   goes into arrival mode, lighting the yard for you.

   Suppose you get up in the middle of the night heading for the
   bathroom.  No problem.  When you get up, the house's motion
   detectors see you walking around and the house knows that it
   night, so it turns on the lights for you, but it turns them on
   dim so as not to blind you or wake up the whole family.

   You wire a transmitter in your car that is tied to the ignition
   switch (not one where you have to push a button).  As your car
   comes up the driveway, the house knows you are coming home and it
   disables the alarm system and opens the garage door.  When you
   shut off the ignition, the house knows it and waits one minute
   and closes the door.  It also turns on the lights and accesses
   your E-Mail, so that as you walk in, it tells you if you have any
   messages waiting.  It can also start a pot of water boiling, if
   you like tea when you get home.

   There's no end to all the cool stuff you can do with these toys.
   So if you have any Christmas money left, head down to Radio Shack
   and just buy enough to get familiar with the system.  Then if you
   get serious you can call Home Control Concepts for a catalogue.
   There's also a magazine called Electronic House (405-624-8015)
   that lists even more vendors.  This stuff is FUN and if you want
   a cheap home improvement project, you should go for it.

   And if you are already involved with X-10, please contact me.  I
   want to know what other people are doing with it.


   ORDER FORM ...

   Ready to join the NLM?  Here it is.  Just fill out this form and
   send it to my address, fax it to me, or send it by E-Mail.


     Make Check            Computer Tyme            Order Form NLM
     Payable To:    411 North Sherman Suite 300
                         Springfield Mo. 65802
                   [phone]  [phone]

     Please send me my Nerd Liberation Movement membership.

     =============================================================

     Name:        ________________________________________________

     Address:     ________________________________________________

     City/St/Zip: ________________________________________________

     Country:     ________________________________________________

     Phone/Fax:   ________________________________________________

     Comments:    ________________________________________________

                  ________________________________________________


     Enclosed is $25 for 1 year membership in the Nerd Liberation
     Movement.

     Credit Cards will be billed through Computer Tyme.

     Credit Card Number: _______________ Expiration Date: ________

     Signature: __________________________________________________

     Master Card __   Visa __   Discover __

                 * We do not take American Express *

     =============================================================

                          Copyright (c)1993 Marc Perkel
                          Reprinted with permission from
                          THINKING MAGAZINE, Marc Perkel, Editor