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FUP-GABR.LIT
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1994-10-14
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231 lines
in this mornings stillness
i felt you beside me
Although I haven't seen you in years
when I woke up
I was sure you were beside me
and everything was back the way it was
When i danced around you playing cowboys and indians
all you did was stand and stare
it made the clumsy moment so much more true
Nobel just by your native nature
when we danced in the rain
I loved you more than
anything
and were you not my misplaced
sister
I would marry you
and we could grow old
For what seemed like years
and was only half of one
we lived together
and we played
we fought
destroyed each other
again and again
years later
my first bare moments with a woman
when we are alone with another
why am I nervous
sleep to hide
I decorate my memories of you
when searching them I look for the hidden places inside
Even I love, as i cut you
try and hide
away from the battles and lies
we are building our own world
within her beat a heart, to welcome flooding darkness in
which to brew special magic
when I first returned
to this New lost city
at night i would put on black
and go down looking for the peaceful village
after that summer with her
How was I to know the lure of man or woman
I was seated in a small cafe
he aproached me with a delightful
swagger in his walk
he told me, i had ancient eyes
like leaves beaten and torn
capturing souls of lost women
he took me home to his apartment
It was
one large room
a ceiling so high
you knew you would never really
understand what it looked like
I remeber his golden tanned skin
as he took off his shirt,
and mine
the exitement of tattoos
and the exquisite smell of
sandalwood and patchouli oils
his apartment was filled with odd objects
and pictures of angels
he had a large futon bed
it must have been seven feet long
and as many wide
it was one of those slow soft beds you spend years of your life in
he lighted incense
and candles
and dreams came alive
he dimmed the lghts and brewed some tea
he said, in almost a stuttering whisper
tonight we dance, and sleep with the angels
slowly some music began to come out of the background
it was vaguely baroque, women lost in love were singing
there songs for the men at sea
there were whales and peacocks crying
in the dark
I remeber how he looked at me in
that room of mists and fogs and dancing lights
so that the whole evening began to see strangely
real
I don't remeber all of that night
I remember after words
sitting naked, him laying beside me
my arms wrapped tightly around my knees
and sipping mushroom tea
I remeber how eager I was to prove I
trusted him
when said
in a darker whisper this time
show me what a man is for
I did
I love him because so much is lost in remeberances
he said love
was a long time
i think for those few hours I knew him and I knew love
I think he was a butcher
the rest of the time
every day going home with blood on your hands
has got to make you love angels
some say it's ugly
but I loved being on the receiving end of love
he later preached to me in the morning
long enough for it to be mourning
he talked of love and loves lost
how it would all be so much more beautifull
if we didn't really know each other
how pain was only days away
my mind was lost in lazy sketches of the night before
flowers on their thinning stems were opening themselves
like women in the morning sun
i was trying to come up with a good tale for my parents
as he said that if I began to really know him
that I would get bored
I argued crazy brained reasons for love
I wanted to drop out of school and keep house with him
he would have no such thing
he said he couldn't have another person's life ruined
for his pleasure
and now
I keep trying to believe in pain
because pain, like love,
so easily mystified, holds true.
A girl two maybe three years younger than me
I watched her all night at the dance
she was incredible
she was dancing this long
slow patern all night
to every song
after the last song
I was still absentmindedly staring at her
aparently smiling like an idiot
because she saw me and came over, without me even knowing
she took my hand
and motioned with her other hand for me to bend down
to her
she whispered
I love you
and
If you want you can come home with me
i nodded in glass eyed amazement
we began to leave the hall
i following behind holding her hand
my friends that I came with stared
and I didn't need to explain
they said goodnight
we walked through the woods
for what seemed like eternities
she lit jay after jay
and everything that i could see
began to sway
we walked past an old shed
That's my house she said giggling
and exhaling a huge toke
wanna go for a swim?
she turned and started running
as she was running she began taking off her clothes
so, I did too
we came to a long wooden ramp leading down to the water
she ran to the end
but waited for me
I got there, she grabbed my hand and jumped in
dragging me with her
It was so unbelievably warm
I couldn't believe
it
after swimming around a bit
she came up to me and wrapped her arm around me
as I despreately tried to tread water
she kissed me
long
she then hugged me and said
"there are possiblities for us
but down wich path shall we go?"
i shook my head
and held her bottom in my hands
she wrapped her legs around me
i motioned to the shore
which now glistened in the moonlight
we made our way slowly
back to the cabin
upon entering
she closed the door
and dried me off with the most
luxurious towel I have ever felt
she started a fire and made preperations as i sat and stared at the
dancing shadows and glowing embers
she had a small bed with
what looked like hundreds of pillows and blankets
she finnished
her things
stretched
bare to the fire
reaching up into the heavens
her body a glistening golden silhouette
she laid down on her bed and curled up
she smiled and patted the bed beside her
I got up and slowly
carefully made my way to her bed
I sat down beside her, nervous
lay down beside me, I want to feel you breathe
I did
she curled up next to me running her hand all over the place
her legs stretched out over mine
we lay there for a long time
she began kissing me, and I her
one thing led to another
the room filled with incense and
we stayed up all night
making love
we watched the sun fill the sky
in the window above our heads
she made rosehip tea
we lay together
holding each other and sipping tea
at around six that night
we had told each other our life stories and
promised to keep in touch
I had to catch the ferry and go home
If only I had stayed
maybe I could remember more than
gabrielle
fUP
goodnight
SAUCE00better excuse 4 description o'peersfUpMiSTiGRiS20941009