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Final Essay
There are many important concepts I have learned in
speech 100. The three most important concepts to me are:
the concept of open questions, the concept of behavior, and
most importantly the concept of owned language.
These concepts are important to me because they give me
tools and alternatives to use in my daily life. They
influence the way in which I react in situations by allowing
me to have a variety of options to choose from. For
example, if I am in the grocery store, and I see a person I
would like to talk
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to, I now a have the option to initiate a conversation by
using an open question. I might say, "how do you choose a
good watermelon?" This skill allows me the option to meet a
new person or not. Behavior is a concept I never really
gave much thought until this class. I did not see a
difference between a person and their behavior. To me, they
were two of the same. I now try to differentiate between
the person and the person's action. In doing so, I have
lessened conflicts in all my relationships. One recent
example would involve my boyfriend
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and me. Mike had been drinking excessively, and I was quite
concerned. Instead of saying, "you are an alcholic jerk!", I
now try to recognize and seperate the behavior and say
something like: "Mike, lately I have noticed that beer cans
are all over your room, and I feel concerned about you."
Most importantly in my life, I will always remember and try
to apply, the concept of owned language. The concept of
taking responsibility for ones emotions and actions creates
an inviting and secure environment for people to discuss
situations. By doing so the level of
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defensiveness stays down, encouraging open communication.
Now if I feel irritated and upset at my mom I might say, "
mom, I feel upset when my car is left without gas in it."
instead of, "mom you're a witch and you're inconsiderate."
using "owned language" also allows the other individual so
keep their pride.
I have learned many things about myself in speech class.
I learned the importance of not saying "you" too much which
tends to lead to confrontation. I was not aware of how often
I used the word "you" in conversation. Most people
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have told me that I am a good listener and now I realize
what they mean. They are referring to my attending behavior:
eye contact, body language, and open posture which encourages
others to open up to me. This finding makes me more aware of
how powerful body language is. My future communication
goals are to relate effectively to others with less
conflicts. My goals include trying to consistently using
"owned language" and to relate to others in a less
confrontational way. I also intend to continue using the
skill of "open questions," they make my life a better place.
FINAL ESSAY
BY
MAREESA HUDSON
SPEECH 100
DAVID HUDSON
MAY 18, 1993