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TT0718.95
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1995-07-26
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742b
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29 lines
TOP TEN WAYS THE MISS AMERICA PAGEANT WOULD BE DIFFERENT
IF THE JUDGES WERE DOGS
10. Title revoked if old photographs surface of the winner petting
a cat
9. Put your money on the girl wearing the sash made of baloney
8. New sniffing competition
7. Rambunctious Miss Ohio forced to wear one of those big plastic
cones on head
6. Host Bob Barker torn to shreds by pack of angry neutered judges
5. Winning talent? Throwing a stick
4. Pageant thrown into total chaos by judge in heat
3. Miss Texas disqualified for stuffing her evening gown with
Gaines Burgers
2. Winner gets to drink out of toilet
1. Points taken off for mange
Letterman, Tuesday, July 18, 1995
Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995