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Text File  |  1993-05-05  |  18KB  |  96 lines

  1.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Sharpen your teeth
  2.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Play Houdini with one of your siblings
  3.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Braid your dog's hair
  4.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Clean and polish your belly button
  5.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Water your dog...see if he grows
  6.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Wash a tree
  7.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Knight yourself
  8.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Name your child Edsel
  9.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Scare Stephen King
  10.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Give your cat a mohawk
  11.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Purr
  12.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Mow your carpet
  13.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Play Pat Boone records backwards
  14.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Vacuum your lawn
  15.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Whine
  16.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Rake your carpet
  17.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Re-elect Richard Nixon
  18.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Critique "Three's Company"
  19.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Listen to a painting
  20.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Play with matches
  21.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Buff your cat
  22.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Race ferrets
  23.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Paint your house...Day-Glo Orange
  24.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Have a formal dinner at White Castle
  25.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Read Homer in the original Greek
  26.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Change your mind
  27.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Learn Greek
  28.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Watch the sun...see if it moves
  29.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Stand on your head
  30.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Stand on someone else's head
  31.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Build a pyramid
  32.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Spit shine your Nikes
  33.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               See how long you can stay awake
  34.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Paint your teeth
  35.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               See how long you can sleep
  36.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Wear a salad
  37.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Speak with a forked tongue
  38.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Get your dog braces
  39.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Shave a shrub
  40.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Have a proton fight
  41.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Watch a car rust
  42.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Quiver
  43.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Rotate your carpet
  44.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Learn to type...with your toes
  45.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Set up your Christmas tree...in April
  46.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Buy the Brooklyn Bridge
  47.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Mail it to a friend
  48.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Be someone special
  49.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Go back to square one
  50.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Factor your social security number
  51.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Take the fifth
  52.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Memorize a series of random numbers
  53.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages
  54.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Join the Foreign Legion
  55.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Learn Sanskrit
  56.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Exist...existentially, of course
  57.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Print counterfeit Confederate money
  58.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Kick a cabbage
  59.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Take a picture
  60.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Sandpaper a mushroom
  61.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Play solitaire...for cash
  62.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Abuse your patio furniture
  63.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Run for Pope
  64.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Count to a million...fast
  65.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
  66.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Commit seppuku...with a paper knife
  67.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Revert
  68.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Think shallow thoughts
  69.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Sleep on a bed of nails
  70.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               DON'T toss and turn
  71.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Boil ice cream
  72.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Run around in squares
  73.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Think of quadruple entendres
  74.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Speak in acronyms
  75.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Have your pillow X-rayed
  76.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Drink straight shots...of water
  77.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Calmly have a nervous breakdown
  78.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Give your goldfish a perm
  79.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Fly a brick
  80.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Play tag...on the Interstate
  81.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Exorcise a ghost
  82.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Be blue
  83.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Be red
  84.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Paint stripes on a lake
  85.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Ski Kansas
  86.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Sleep in freefall
  87.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Kill a joule
  88.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Test thin ice...with a pogo stick
  89.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Apply for a unicorn hunting license
  90.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Do a good job
  91.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Crawl
  92.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Invite the Mansons over for dinner
  93.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Paint your windows
  94.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Watch a watch until it stops
  95.     If you get TOO bored, you can....                                                                                                                               Continue this list and put it on another BBS
  96.