The Devil's Doorknob BBS Capture (1996-2003)/devilsdoorknobbbscapture1996-2003.iso/Dloads/TEXTFILE/MAGE.ZIP/MURPHY.TXT

Text File | 1980-01-15 | 36KB | 691 lines

MURPHY'S LAW

   By Abe Dashiell

   "Shit! Wouldn't you know it!" Lenny fumbled with his umbrella as a
   gust of wind nearly tore it out of his grasp. The driving rain cut
   into him, scouring his drenched clothes and numbing his already
   freezing hands. He pulled his coat tighter, but it offered no solace
   from the cold, wet night. Laden with water, it clung to him, dragging
   at his flagging strength. He gritted his teeth to stop the chattering,
   but his body tremored still and his coat seemed even heavier. The wind
   roared again, ripping the umbrella out of his hands. It tumbled and
   skittered down the sidewalk, coming to rest, unseen, in the shadows
   between the widely spaced street lights.

   Lenny stared after it mournfully and heaved a resigned sigh. It had
   been a bad night from the start and it certainly wasn't getting any
   better...

   "...Don't worry, Lenny. You're still a young man. I'm sure you'll find
   something somewhere else. Downsizing and cutbacks, that's all..."

   What a great way to start your day, Lenny thought, rubbing his
   temples, trying to quell the raging headache that drowned out even the
   thunder. Why couldn't he have just said, "Lenny, you're fired," and
   get it over with. But no...

   "...In fact, I think I have something right up your alley. I'm sure a
   man of your skills would have no difficulty fitting the bill..."

   A moment of hope, Lenny thought to himself bitterly. That was until
   old Barnes admitted that his fantasy job was actually a position as
   bag boy at his brother-in-law's grocery store. "Thanks, Mr. Barnes.
   I'll be sure to check it out."

   "Don't wait too long, Lenny. Jobs like that go pretty quickly you
   know..."

   "So much for five years of loyalty." Lenny murmured. "I should have
   known something like this would happen eventually. Nothing good ever
   happens for very long." He gazed up into the black sky, ignoring the
   rain, and shrugged. "I suppose I had it good for too long. At least I
   don't have to worry about it getting any worse -- my life couldn't
   possibly get any more miserable."

   "Worst!? There's no such thing as 'worst.'"

   Lenny spun around, his eyes darting to the shadows. "Who's there! Who
   said that?" His only answer was the low moan of the wind. He looked up
   the street where, six long blocks away, his car rested -- and rusted.
   His engine had chosen to die in one of the worst neighborhoods in the
   city, where neither the taxis or even the police ventured. He'd had
   little choice but to walk. "Why didn't I at least remember to bring my
   flashlight!" Until now, he hadn't seen or heard anyone.

   "No surprise in this weather. I'm probably the only one stupid and
   unlucky enough to be out in this." But he was sure he'd heard a
   voice... "I must be delerious."

   The rain came down even harder and Lennie decided he wanted his
   umbrella back after all. "It couldn't have gone too far -- in those
   shadows over there, I think." But there was something about that inky
   darkness he didn't like. It almost seemed...

   "Solid." he whispered. "Like black Jell-O. Yum. Penzoil flavored." He
   chuckled weakly, and behind his eyes stabs of fear joined the
   hammering pain. "Is anyone there?" He picked up a piece of rubble and
   lobbed it into the darkness.

   Thunk.

   "Weird. Pretty muffled -- must be the rain." Yes, the rain, it has to
   be the rain, he thought. After all, who would be out on a night like
   tonight.

   Please, please, please, be the rain...

   "It's not the rain."

   Lenny jumped back and staggered into the nearest light pole. He
   grabbed a brick that had fallen off a mouldering building. "Who's
   there!" he gasped, brandishing his crumbling weapon. The fear-pain in
   his head rumbled louder. Sounded like it was right behind me!

   "Or within you."

   Unable to control his fear any longer, he took off in a dead run. He
   looked over his shoulder, and to his horror, three figures stepped out
   of the Dark Place and began to pursue him. Two were man-sized, but
   they were anything but human. Their eyes burned bright red and they
   moved faster than anyone had a right to. The third form was something
   out of a nightmare. Standing head and shoulders above the other two,
   it bore no semblance to anything human. Lenny gasped in terror as it
   ran through the glow of a street light. It was huge and except for
   scraggly patches of greenish fur, it was hairless. It loped faster
   even than it's comrades, partially on two feet, but often on all four.

   Deep within his psyche, a memory far older than Lenny stirred. TERROR!
   Images of lupine beasts killing...culling. He was overwhelmed with the
   fear of the hunted; he was the prey breathing its last as the predator
   closed its jaws around his throat.

   "It just got worse."

   The voice seared through Lenny's terror and for the first time, he
   recognized it. A part of him buried even deeper than the memories of
   the Impergium flared into life, awakening from a deep sleep. In that
   millisecond, everything became clear to Lenny. Possibilities he'd
   never imagined sprung into life even as the three monsters bore down
   on him. The terror inspired in him dwindled compared to the crushing
   knowledge revealed to him. He still felt burning fear, but now thought
   was possible.

   "For every good thing, something bad has to happen." Lenny mumbled,
   his eyes searching. Before him, on the sidewalk was a rusty grate.
   Above the thunder and driving rain, he could hear another, deeper
   rumbling. The subway! "Too bad I'm not at the station instead of here.
   Knowing my luck, I'll fall right through that gate and be crushed by
   the --"

   With a groaning crash, the grate gave way. Before he had a chance to
   scream, Lenny fell through the grate and landed on the last car of the
   subway. Only his quick wits saved him from being swept off the side
   and crushed under the wheels. Hanging tightly onto a rung, he managed
   to pull himself into the car through a broken window. Looking back
   into the darkness, he saw two pairs of red eyes fading into the
   distance. He smiled weakly as he heard the bone chilling chords of an
   enraged howl.

   As the adrenaline rush faded, Lenny gasped and sank to the subway
   floor. He was bleeding from scores of minor wounds and he was sure
   he'd broken his arm. He leaned back and whispered, "'If anything can
   go wrong, it will.' It did and now -- I know."

     _________________________________________________________________

   As part of the Order's ongoing effort to construct detailed profiles
   of the minor Awakened throngs, I have acquainted myself with the group
   known as "Murphy's Law." Compared to the lengthy history of the Order,
   their story is but a flash in a pan, so forgive me for the brevity of
   this report. Nevertheless, as a group they are growing -- another a
   sign of the Technocracy's failures.

   I owe Leonard ("Lenny") Jones, a respected member (if such is possible
   among a group of this kind!) of Murphy's Law, for the information he
   has provided. I have used his words verbatim whenever possible and
   have added a few of my own notes as well.

   Gunther Kohl, Order of Hermes

  Names

   "Variables won't. Constants aren't." - Osborn's Law

   Excerpts from my interviews with Leonard Jones:

   You Hermetics and the Choristers I've run into call us "Pessimists."
   Pessimists? I consider myself a realist. A pessimist always sees the
   bad in everything. On the other hand, I know that ultimately,
   everything is bad. Once you've realized that, you can be as
   optimistic as you want. It's not like most of us get depressed about
   it or anything...

   The damned Hollow Ones call us Murphs. Cute. They've got the Cultists
   and the VAs calling us that too. Hell, they've got me saying it. Of
   course, the next thing you know, some wiseacre will start up with
   "Smurfs." Joy.

  Background

   "If anything can go wrong, it will." - Murphy's 1st Law

   Jones, cont'd:

   History? Well, we're not like you Hermetics, who, no offense, document
   everytime a member brushes his teeth. I suppose we've been around in
   one form or another for a long time. A friend of mine told me that
   Yeats was one of us -- all that gyre stuff of his has a bit of Murph
   to it. I have a feeling that was just wishful thinking. After all,
   Yeats was rich and successful -- that doesn't sound like any
   self-respecting Murph I know. You go for the fame and respect he had
   and you know you are going to be reincarnated as a cow, a Brady Kid or
   just get some really bad karma. That stuff will follow your Avatar
   around for centuries.

   Oh, yeah, I was talking about our illustrious history. Well, as I
   said, there's always been people like us -- those who know how fate
   works and all. I imagine most of us thought we were orphans though and
   never really did anything about organizing. That was, until the end of
   the last century. We started clumping together -- I guess it was all
   part of that fin de siecle stuff that those sicko Victorians got into.
   Hah! Of course, we all know why the Victorians were crazy -- they were
   on top of the world, ruling the whole planet like they did. Well, fate
   has a way of getting back at that kind of arrogance. They're still
   paying for it you know -- I mean, look at Prince Charles.

   Yeah, yeah, yeah, background. We've gotten more organized, though we
   don't have scheduled meetings and take minutes or anything like that.
   That's just inviting disaster; you know, the more you do, the more you
   do will go wrong. Well, sometimes we have meetings, but mostly we just
   shoot the breeze and keep an eye on the Technocracy and the
   Traditions. Yeah, we help them along -- throw a couple of
   monkeywrenches in their works. The Technocracy is a real easy target
   -- these guys are just begging for it...

   ...Where we get the name, "Murphy's Law?" We didn't think of it
   ourselves. It had something to do with you Hermetics though.
   Apparently you guys felt the need to classify us. You called us
   something in Latin that more or less translated as: "The Order of
   Those Who Believe The Worst Possibility In A Given Siutation Will
   Always Occur." In other words, "Murphy's Law." For a while it was the
   "Order of Murphy's Law," but that "order" part really didn't sit well
   with any of us.

  Philosophy

   "In Nature, Nothing is ever Right. Therefore, if everything is going
   Right... something is Wrong." - Murphy's 9th Law

   Compiler's Notes: Murphy's Law is a loose knit group of mages who have
   found a common bond in the belief that the world is essentially a
   negative place. While this is a belief shared by a number of groups,
   notably the Hollow Ones, the Pessimists have raised it to the level of
   high metaphysics. "Bad things" happen because they are inevitable,
   because they are natural, and because they are totally unavoidable. In
   fact, when a good thing does happen to a 'Murph,' he bemoans his fate
   because he knows that very soon, reality will come crashing down on
   him.

   Jones:

   You know, I don't care if the Earth is composed of 4 or 104 elements.
   It doesn't matter if we orbit the sun or the sun orbits us. The little
   details the traditions and the technos quibble about really don't
   matter to us. The fact of the matter is that ever since we evolved up
   from the primordial ooze (or were created from the ooze if you're a
   Chorister), we've known that screw ups are the default state of being.
   You've really got to put your neck out to see anything beneficial. And
   then, you will get your head cut off.

   The majority rules man. That means that whenever something good
   happens to you, the Collective Will gets jealous and wham!, you go
   from Easy Street to eating Alpo. It's unavoidable, so quit debating
   whether the glass is half empty or half full because the chances are,
   you'll just hit it with your elbow and get Coke in your Hush Puppies.
   That doesn't mean you can't be happy -- hell, being miserable about it
   won't change anything. You've just got to accept that for every good
   turn there's a bad -- but don't think the opposite is true. Misery
   loves company, so if you've hit the bottom, don't take it for granted
   that the only direction is up. There is no such thing as "worst."

   Compiler's notes: Ascension is totally foreign to Murphy's Law. It
   simply doesn't play a role in their Paradigm. Their avatars are almost
   always Primordial, and they use their magick in a highly instinctive
   and often unconscious manner. This may be the reason why they are
   incapable of comprehending a state of being that exists beyond their
   rather narrow world view. Nevertheless, their single-minded obsession
   with the intricacies of their own Paradigm seems to allow them to
   transcend the normal bounds of sleeper reality. It is unfortunate that
   these Pessimists (for indeed they are, despite their claims to the
   contrary!) are forced to keep their Vision so fixated on the ground.
   Lenny is more informed than most, but even he lacks any grand vision.

  Organization

   "If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something
   can go wrong and circumvent these, a fifth, unprepared for, will
   promptly develop." - Murphy's 4th Law

   Compiler's notes: Because they do not go through an organized
   initiation, it is difficult for the Pessimists to develop as an
   organized group. However, because they are all consumed by the
   Paradigm, they tend to gravitate to one another. For much of their
   history, they had no organization at all, but around the turn of the
   century, when Apocalypse cults were in vogue, they began to find one
   another. They had been unrecognizable from Orphans, so unorthodox were
   their foci, but as they formed informal societies, it became clear
   that they were a tradition unto themselves.

   They have not taken sides in the Ascension War and while their magick
   is pervasive, the odd way Paradox affects them allows them to conduct
   their business largely beneath the Technocracy's notice. At least in
   this respect, luck has favored them. However, neither have they fallen
   under the protection of the Council of Nine, leaving them vulnerable
   to the machinations of others, not the least being nephandi and the
   kindred.

   They have little in the way of structure. Those who are older and more
   experienced, like Mr. Jones, are afforded greater respect, but they
   have nothing in the way of a structured hierarchy.

  Meetings

   "Murphy was an optimist." - O'Toole

   Jones:

   Well, like I said, we don't have many meetings. Sometimes we'll get
   together and guzzle a few brewskies and brag about how bad our luck
   has been. Sometimes, though, especially when somebody has had a long
   streak of really good luck and has been especially uppity about it,
   we'll get together and figure out a way to give him a little humility.
   It's not that we are jealous of the lucky bastard -- well, we are, but
   that's not why we do what we do -- it's just that he's going to have
   to pay for it some day, and we might as well be the ones who do it. I
   mean, we'll put him through hell, but that's better than some things
   Ol' Mother Nature would do.

  Initiation

   "Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself."
   - Weiler's Law

   Compilers notes: A member is not initiated into Murphy's Law, but
   rather Awakens into it. Because there is no definable initiation
   process, most mages classify them as Orphans. Murphs, however, are not
   Orphans. Potential Murphs, as sleepers, are always extreme pessimists
   whose world views change very little when they become Awakened.
   Typically, the Awakening occurs after a series of extremely
   traumatizing and unrelated events. Most people would be driven to
   suicide, but for some, it merely confirms their opinions, opening them
   up to a broader world. While most mages awaken into a paradigm, Murphs
   are awakened by a paradigm.

   Jones:

   Well, I'd always believed that relying on luck would mean that all
   you'd get was a healthy dose of the bad variety. Just like I do now, I
   knew that Nature is a Bitch. However, it wasn't until two Sabbat licks
   and a BSD chased me down on the same night I lost my job, my girl, my
   car, and my umbrella, that I began to realize the full truth. I kept
   hearing this voice in my head egging me on to WAKE UP and finally I
   did. The little piece of the Collective Will within me knocked me on
   the head and I was finally able to take off my blinders. I'm not
   self-awakened. No, I'm no Orphan; it's reality that made me come to my
   senses, not my own twisted will.

  Acolytes

   "You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game." -
   Ginsberg's Theorems.

   Jones:

   We hang out with Sleepers who share our opinions all the time. In
   fact, some of them have such bad luck, you can't always tell who's
   Awake and who's not.

   Compiler's notes: Their acolytes all remind me of that horrid man on
   that television show, "Married, With Children."

  Sphere

   "Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse." - Murphy's
   5th Law

   Compiler's notes: Perhaps because they use the same "focus" for all of
   their spheres, Murphs typically have little understanding about the
   natures of the different spheres. Many are not even aware that there
   are different spheres. They do know that they are able to manipulate
   different aspects of reality better than others, but the significance
   of this is lost on most of them. Lenny, who is more knowledgeable than
   the rest, informs me that they have a particular talent for Entropy.

  Foci

   The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its
   desirability. - Gumperson's Law

   Compiler's notes: What marks Murphy's Law as especially unusual is its
   interpretation of magick, and more importantly, the odd nature of its
   foci. As I mentioned before, they have only one focus, which they use
   for all nine spheres. As they become more enlightened, they may
   abandon this focus for those spheres they understand the most, though
   few of them do so.

   Jones: Foci, eh? You're in luck that you asked me because most Murphs
   wouldn't have any idea what you were talking about. Most of us are
   Primordials, you see -- I'm the exception, being a Dynamic. When we
   work magick, its instinctive, like most Orphans. The thing is, we've
   got ourself a Paradigm, and we use it to make it easier to put reality
   the way it's supposed to be.

   How do we do it? It's simple, really. All you have to do is to realize
   that for a good thing to happen, it has to be accompanied by a bad
   thing. That's just the way things work. It's like when those vampires
   and that big lupe were after my hide when I first Woke up. I heard the
   subway and I saw the grate. Subconsciously, I knew that if I fell
   through the grate and landed on the train as it passed, I'd have a
   chance to escape. So, I just happened to step on the grate just at the
   right point and with the right pressure to make it collapse and I had
   just the right timing to land on the last car as it rushed by. At the
   time, I had no idea what had happened, but now I know I jiggled with
   Entropy and Time to get what I needed. The thing is, I couldn't just
   do that because that would have been the biggest break of luck I'd
   ever had. So, I paid the price by breaking my arm, and because I'd
   fiddled with two spheres instead of just one, it also turned out that
   I lost my wallet on the way down. Do you know those damn licks ran up
   a $6000 bill on my American Express! Sounds like Paradox, eh? Now you
   see why so many people think we are just Orphans who are a little too
   rambunctious with the vulgar stuff...

   ...Yeah, normally the bad stuff has to happen to us personally -- it
   wouldn't be bad luck for me if I foisted some misfortune on a HIT Mark
   that was about to gun me down would it? There are exceptions though.
   If someone gets just too uppity, we can let him have it without
   bringing anything bad down on ourselves. That's because we are just
   setting things right to the Paradigm. What do I mean by "uppity."
   Well, let me give you an example. I went to Vegas last year and this
   son of a bitch was on one hell of a winning streak. In itself, that's
   okay; he'd just have to pay for it eventually. The thing is, the guy
   was yelling, "I can't lose. I'm on top of the world. Nothing can go
   wrong now!" Lets face it, he was asking for it. The magick just flowed
   -- nothing bad had to happen to me because he was being such a magnet.
   I can do the same thing when someone says something like, "It couldn't
   get worse," or "Well, at least it can only get better from here."

   [System: For a Murph to work magick, she must simultaneously describe
   a misfortune that happens at the same time. The misfortune can be a
   cause of the effect, a side effect, a result or be completely
   unrelated to the effect. The severity of the misfortune is similar to
   the effects unleashed when one point of paradox is released. In fact,
   a Murph may opt to take a point of Paradox (or even take on the brunt
   of a backlash or suffer the visitations of a Paradox Spirit) as a
   misfortune. If a Murph is using more than one sphere, then another
   misfortune must occur or the first must be more serious (e.g. a five
   sphere effect could garner as much as 5 points of paradox if the Murph
   wished).

   Alternately, a Murph can use another person as a focus if that person
   "invites" bad luck on themselves. This happens either if the person
   proclaims a situation couldn't get worse or couldn't go wrong. Note
   that if a person merely has a string of good luck, the Murph can't use
   her as a focus -- only if she were to claim the luck wasn't going to
   end or something along those lines. Normally, an invitation will only
   replace the focus for one sphere, but particularly audacious claims
   can potentially replace the need for several spheres. e.g. the villain
   claims: "I'm am undefeatable! Nothing, nothing at all in the whole
   universe can stop me now! I'm a god! Fate herself bows to my every
   whim!" If a fool was stupid enough to stay that around a Murph, he
   should expect a Nine Sphere effect without the Murph reaping any of
   the misfortune.

   In any case, while a Murph's focus is potentially damaging to her
   person, it cannot be taken away and there is no initiative penalty.]

  Paradox

   "Nature always sides with the hidden flaw." - Murphy's 7th Law

   Compiler's notes: Paradox affects the members of Murphy's Law just as
   much as it does any other mage. However, it manifests itself in a way
   somewhat similar to the way it affects the Trenchcoaters. (Another
   minor group who is a constant thorn in everyone's sides. Refer to my
   esteemed colleague's work on them for more background) All I can say
   about the matter is watch what you say around them, particularly when
   they are in the depths of Quiet.

   Jones:

   Most of us don't know anything about Paradox either really. It wasn't
   until I started hanging around you "real" mages that I even knew what
   the difference was between static and vulgar magick, or what paradox,
   foci and spheres were. For us, it all blends together. Sure, Paradox
   is a bad thing that affects all of us, but what's to differentiate it
   from all the other bad things that happen? It's just a little
   flashier.

   When we've been being vulgar little boys and girls, or when we really
   screw up an effect, reality starts weighing down on us just like it
   does anyone who's Awake. That means that whenever somebody arounds us
   "invites" trouble on themselves, well, reality is all the more likely
   to fix things. You look confused. Well, let me put it this way. If
   you'd won a million dollars and were riding high on the hog, you'd be
   a pretty happy MF, wouldn't you? In fact, you'd probably get a little
   careless and say something stupid like: "Gee, I guess everything is
   going to be peachy from now on!" Well, if I heard you say that, I'd
   still probably get you even if reality was giving me some breathing
   room. However, if it was sitting hard on my shoulder, well, I wouldn't
   have any choice but to lash out at you. It would use me as a channel
   to make your life a little less peachy. Of course, if I was a
   blithering idiot -- and if reality was really giving me the crunch, I
   probably would be in that state of mind -- and I said that, it would
   come back on me too.

   [System: When a Murph has any paradox, and someone "invites" him as
   described above in the Foci section, the player immediately rolls as
   many dice as he has paradox points. Every success removes a point of
   paradox and goes toward an effect that affects the "offender." A botch
   means the effect works on the Murph. The nature of the effect is
   determined by the player, but is limited to what magickal effects he
   can normally accomplish. The effect must also cause a misfortune to
   occur to the "offender." This is the only way a Murph can remove
   Paradox, but note that a Murph can induce a release of paradox by
   "inviting" bad luck on himself. The ST may opt to decide the effect in
   this case and may invoke a backlash or summon paradox spirit.]

  Stereotypes

   "It won't work" - Jenkinson's Law

   Compiler's notes: Part of my interview with Mr. Jones was to discover
   how he felt about other Awakened beings. I had asked a number of other
   Pessimists before I found him, but I'm afraid that most of them were
   ignorant of supernatural society as a whole. Lenny, however, had a
   great many opinions, and he assures me that most of his comrades agree
   with him.

   Ahl-i-Batin: They don't know anything about decay or chaos. They keep
   building their intricate little secrets and conspiracies, but haven't
   they realized that the more detailed a plan is, the more there is that
   can (and will!) go wrong. No wonder they lost their position in the 9.

   "These masters of Entropy are only interested in seeing the world
   wither away. Though they are more tolerable than the Euthanatos, we
   will share none of our secrets with them." -- "John Smith"

   Akashic Brotherhood: They want to attain the perfect balance between
   mind and body. Well, in every movie I've seen, just as you are about
   to achieve "Nirvana," the bad guy comes in, burns down your house,
   steals your girl and kills your old blind master. Maybe that's why
   most of the AB's I know have just settled for being able to kick ass
   really well.

   "The negativity they see in the world is product of their own minds.
   They have Awakened into a black box that has no opening." -- Allistair
   Kwok, Adept of Mind

   Celestial Chorus: They keep telling us if we trust ourself in "The
   One," everything will be happiness and light. Hey, clue -- do you
   think we've forgotten the Dark Ages? Yeah, real enlightened -- give me
   the Technos any day."

   "These lost children have bought into the Technocracy's lies more than
   any other. They may have abandoned all hope for a better place, but we
   shall not abandon them." -- Cardinal Shapiro, Master of Prime

   Cult of Ecstasy: I'm not saying that World Peace and Brotherly Love
   are completely out of the realm of the possibility, but I know that it
   won't be as wonderful as they keep saying. Every turn has it's set of
   unsolveable problems.

   "I dropped acid around one of these guys once and he says to me, 'You
   know, you're going to fry your brain doing that stuff.' I say to him,
   'Hey, I never have bad trips!' I'll be damned if he didn't zap me with
   something and I had the worst trip ever. Made me give up drugs right
   then and there! Bastard." -- Hashcat, Disciple of Time

   Dreamspeakers: While it is true that every lucky break is paid for by
   future misfortune, these guys are proof positive that the opposite
   does not necessarily occur. Were they ever on top?

   "When these lost souls were born, Gaia wept for them." -- Black Cloud,
   Master of Spirit

   Euthanatos: Talk about twisted. They are hotshot masters of Entropy,
   but you know what they use it for, to get rid of the "bad seeds" so
   that the world will be happier. Excuse me, is this the same Sphere
   we're using?!

   "Their deplorable pessimism weighs down on this world. It is best that
   we recycle their avatars and hope they come back better the next time
   around. -- Dominic Gambino, Master of Entropy

   Hollow Ones: What a bunch of whiners! Even though they know the world
   isn't a happy place, they still act bitter and disappointed about it.
   That's just the way things are! Get used to it, for crying out loud,
   you little Angst Babies!

   I've got a story to tell you about the Hollow Ones. You know how 15,
   20 years ago, they didn't even exist and then all of a sudden they are
   the biggest Orphan posse out there? I think I know why we are plagued
   by them, and much to my regret, it's all our fault:

   Back in the mid seventies, I ran with ten other Murphs. Most of us
   were young and inexperienced but we had two masters who kept us in
   line. We even had our own node that we stole from a bunch of
   changelings. Things were really looking up, so naturally, something
   had to go wrong. We were minding our own business, chugging some
   brewskies and bitching about the price of gas when a bunch of
   Euthanatos swooped down on us. They told us that they were going to
   recycle our Avatars for the greater good. I wasn't sure what that
   meant, but I did know that it involved them making us dead. So, we
   fought like banshees -- very vulgar banshees -- and after a nasty
   pitched battle, managed to beat them off. When the smoke cleared, we
   still had our node, but the chantry, both physically and umbrally, was
   completely totaled. I lost everything except the clothes on my back,
   but I tell you, I was so riddled with paradox at that point, I really
   didn't give a shit. Instead, I sat down and had a philosophical
   discussion with the word, "this." It made sense at the time. We were
   all really Quiet at that point, but even in our state, we managed to
   whip up a keg or two of brew. After a while, not only were we in
   Quiet, we were pretty shitfaced as well. So, there we were, sitting
   around, watching the TV (that was about the only thing that survived
   -- we can probably thank the NWO for that one) when Jake -- he was a
   master of Spirit and Prime -- says: "Well, it sure can't get any worse
   than this." Whoah, Nelly! You can tell he was really out of it. The
   thing is, we all looked at him, lifted our glasses and said, "Yeah, it
   sure can't!" All of a sudden, wham, we weren't Quiet any more. The
   realization of what had just happened sobered us up but quick too.
   We'd been carrying around enough Paradox to fill the Grand Canyon and
   all of a sudden it was all gone. I tell you, I sure shit my pants. At
   first, nothing happened, then a week or two later, I noticed these
   whiny Awakened little brats hanging around in the Discos. A month or
   two later, there were more of them and inside of a year, a group of
   the bastards stole our node and set themselves as the "Hollow Ones."
   We found out that they were doing it all over the country and I really
   think that we were to blame.

   "Hey's, it's Al Bundy!" -- Jennifer, Disciple of Forces

   Order of Hermes: No offense, Gunther, but the Order is just too tight
   assed. I honestly don't think things would be any different if you
   guys were in control.

   "Offense taken. When our 'friends' have an attitude like this, what
   hope do we have of regaining control of the Collective Will and
   guiding it to True Ascension." -- Gunther Kohl, Master of Forces

   Sons of Ether: Oh, these megalomaniacs are really asking for it. I've
   foiled more than one plot for World Domination simply by walking into
   the same room as a blabbermouth Etherite. They make some pretty neat
   gizmos though.

   "I am unstoppable! Bwa-hah-hah-hah I am invincible! The World is mine!
   I -- *BOOM*" -- Heinrich von Kibble, Ex-Son of Ether

   Verbena: You know, I think the Verbena may have figured a few things
   out. I mean, they are always slitting their wrists whenever they use
   magick...

   "I don't understand them. They seem to think that by using the power
   of my blood that I'm somehow bringing misfortune onto myself. They are
   very strange. -- Robin Bashir, Adept of Life

   Virtual Adepts: One little semi-colon out of place and the whole
   program crashes. Now, that is Murphy at work.

   "*groan* I avoid them because everytime I see one, I immediately get
   bugs -- everywhere." -- Diane Kerfoot, Disciple of Correspondence

   The Technocracy: Like I said, they are really asking for it. Their
   heads are bigger than the Hermetics', the Choristers' and the
   Etherites' combined.

   "Directive 104-A.4: The mages known as Murphy's Law are very low
   priority for reprogramming. Correcting them causes more problems than
   it solves. -- 10110001, Iteration X

   Vampires: Lessee, they are immortal, personally powerful and damned
   hard to kill. On the other hand, they melt in the sun and have to feed
   on blood to survive. Pretty even trade, I guess.

   "Me and a couple buddies of mine were having fun with this mortal one
   night about twenty years ago when he pulled some sneaky mage magick on
   us and caught the subway the hard way. We got his wallet though! Man,
   that was one night on the town! Of course, a few years later, I had
   the rottenest luck with some of the stuff I bought. -- Raphie, City
   Gangrel

   Werewolves: I used to wonder why they have it so bad, but then one of
   them told me about the Impergium. Now, it's pretty obvious.

   "Mages in Horano -- but they do not despair. I avoid these odd ones."
   -- Sequoia, Child of Gaia

   Wraiths: Poor bastards. You've got to respect someone who takes that
   much hard luck and still keeps going.

   "They are tainted with Oblivion even as they live." -- Melanie Rivers,
   Heretic

   Changelings: Blech! They are waging a feeble war to make the world
   happy again. Hey, it never was!"

   "Wretched banal mages. Death to them all before they destroy us!" --
   Count Cedric Bluetoes, House Eiluned

  Sources

   "Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves
   in." -- Forsyth's Second Corollary to Murphy's Laws

   For "Mage: The Ascension," by White Wolf Games Studios

   Paradox effects inspired by Tim Toner's "Trenchcoaters."

   [1]http://www.chemie.fu-berlin.de/diverse/murphy/murphy2.html -- a
   keen web page with lots of Murphy's style quotes.