+-+-+-+¢ Reprinted from XIO3 the GARDEN CITY¢ ACE-CANADA Jul/Aug'93 NEWSLETTER, by¢ THE OL'HACKERS AUG, NY, with THANKS.¢ THE COMPUTER DICTIONARY¢ by GORDON F. HOOPER¢¢ COMPUTER - The machine which brought¢ on all your troubles.¢ DISK DRIVE - The machine you want to¢ throw out of the window of a 25 story¢ bulilding when it doesn't cooperate.¢ DISKETTE - A magnetic storage device¢ which is useful as a coaster if you¢ bend it, touch it or expose it to¢ magnetic fields, liquids or heat.¢ HARD DRIVE - A device for mass¢ storage, useful for BBS Sysops and¢ other masochists.¢ MONITOR - A crude television set¢ which dosen't even have the mindless¢ sitcoms or gratuitous sex like¢ network TV, and no dials either!¢ PRINTER - a contraption which causes¢ you many days of toil before you can¢ force it to work with your computer.¢ PRINTER RIBBON - a gadget which¢ always breaks at 4 am of the day your¢ 100 page thesis is due.¢ LASER PRINTER - Costs more than four¢ 8 BIT systems.¢ RAMDISK -A wonderful device imaginary¢ which allows you to lose hours of¢ work simply by flicking a switch.¢ JOYSTICK - An input device used to¢ entertain people who should find¢ something better and more useful to¢ do with their lives.¢ DOCS - Instructions for software¢ programs that are written by¢ individuals who have no idea of how¢ to communicate with normal people.¢ MODEM - A device to connect your¢ computer to phone lines that results¢ in bills of magnificent proprtions¢ each and every month.¢ FILES - Work which has been written¢ to disk using 8 letters as a filename¢ which are incomprehensible when the¢ time comes (and it will) to decipher¢ them.¢ SWEAR WORDS - Language required¢ before your computer system will¢ perform properly.¢ LOCKUPS - God's revenge for taking¢ his name in vain.¢ MS DOS - God's revenge on people who¢ don't buy Atari computers.¢ [[[End]]]¢¢
