Computer Buyer 1997 January/dpcb197.iso/business/a1share/41411.ZIP/SREAL02.OLD

Text File | 1993-09-07 | 8KB | 178 lines

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* ARCHIVE: SREAL02.NEW (Semi-Real Articles)
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* DATE: 09/07/93
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* EDITOR(S):
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*        Editor   1 : Paul J. Clegg  ([e-mail])
*        Editor   2 : Steve Baker  ([e-mail])
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* NUMBER OF ARTICLES: 2
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*   2S22   -- Thermonuclear Devices For The Weekend Anarchist
*   2S23   -- Star Trek
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%t Thermonuclear Devices For The Weekend Anarchist
%n 2S22
%s A Nuke You Can Build at Home
%a Chuck McKenna  ([e-mail])
%d 19900318
%i Nuclear War
%e
Are you fed up with the local political machine?  Are you tired of going
to the same boring job every day?  Is school getting you down?  If you
are suffering from any of these afflictions, this is for you!

Making a thermonuclear device is quite simple.  It can be done on a lazy
summer weekend when there isn't much on television anyway.

The only truly difficult part of building your bomb is obtaining the
reaction mass.  If you have access to weapons-grade plutonium you may skip
the first step, which is: hijack a truck carrying nuclear fuel rods to the
neighborhood nuclear power plant, hide the cargo of fuel rods in a safe
place, and dispose of the truck.

Next, you need to acquire a pound of plastic explosive.  If you don't have
any left over from your last armed insurgence, don't panic -- an acceptable
substitute can be made right in your own kitchen.  Melt 1-1/2 boxes of
Ivory soap flakes in an iron saucepan.  Stir in 2 lbs. of 0000 fine
gunpowder.  When this cools it will have the consistency of sticky
Playdough.  One word of caution: cook this mixture only on an electric
stove.  Using an open flame may cause it to detonate.

Two other items you will need are an electrically detonated blasting cap
and a dependable alarm watch.  Having gathered all of the ingredients, you
may now sit down to the business of building your bomb.

Locating a machine shop where your clandestine work may be done is your next
priority.  Having done that you'll need to make a ten-inch diameter, hollow,
steel sphere with a two-inch threaded hole.  Now, cut a piece of two-inch
pipe six inches long and thread both ends.  The last part of the bomb casing
is a threaded cap for the end of the pipe with a small hole drilled in it
for the blasting cap.

Making the reaction mass is very dangerous.  You will undoubtedly get some
form of radiation sickness.  Start by grinding the fuel rods into a fine
dust, being extraordinarily careful not to breathe any in.  Inhalation of
this dust WILL cause lung cancer.

In a large plastic bowl, mix one pint of marine epoxy with half of the
recommended amount of hardener.  This will keep it pliable longer.
Thoroughly mix the powdered uranium.  Be sure to keep an even consistency.

Scoop this reaction mass into the steel sphere keeping the threads clear and
packing it down often.  Air pockets will cause an inefficient chain
reaction.  If you have a centrifuge available it would be an effective tool
for removing them.  After allowing it to set for about 45 minutes, using a
plastic knife, cut a conical wedge out of the reaction mass and allow both
to set for 24 hours.

While it's setting, you may wish to begin work on the detonator.  Cap one
end of the 6 inch pipe and weld the cap in place.  Pack three inches of
plastic explosive into the pipe.  Insert the blasting cap into the plastic
explosive via the hole in the cap and epoxy in place.  Check the alarm
setting on the watch to ensure that it is off.  Remove the back of the
watch and solder one wire to each of the alarm contacts.  Then solder the
other ends of the wires to the blasting cap leads.  Using nonconductive
tape, fasten the watch to the end of the pipe.

After twenty-four hours have elapsed, slide the now hardened wedge of
reaction mass into the open end of the pipe.  Tighten the pipe into the
threaded hole in the sphere and weld quickly in place.  You are now the
owner of your very own thermonuclear device.  The rest is up to you.  Find
your target, plant the bomb, set the timer, leave the state, and watch the
news from your hospital bed as you are treated for radiation poisoning.
%e
*EOA*


%t Star Trek
%n 2S23
%d 19930731
%s Earth Religion
%a Sean Sutherland  ([e-mail])
%i Religion based on Star Trek TV programme
%x Classification Of Religions
%e
"Star Trek" is an Earth-based religion which is centered upon a story
created by Gene Roddenbury.  Followers of this religion are collectively
called "Trekkies" or "Trekkers."

This religion's classification number is 2D4S-3?2?.

There have been several attempts to recruit new people to this religion.
Here is a list:

          1) Star Trek: The Original Series

             This was a failed attempt lasting only 3 years, after which
             the Nielson ratings, a primitive form of seeing how popular
             a TV show is, dropped to unacceptable levels.  This lasted
             from 1968-70.  The show, however, did, after some time, bring
             a large number of people into the religion.

          2) Star Trek: The Animated Series

             This was an attempt made in the late '70s to recruit young
             people to this religion as a Saturday morning cartoon show.
             This, too, was discontinued.

          3) Star Trek: The Movies

             These movies, currently there are six, were another attempt to
             revive the recruiting attempt by bringing back the original
             crew of the fictional ship "Enterprise" to the big screen.
             This, so far, has succeeded.

          4) Star Trek: The Next Generation

             This is another series, started in 1987.  This was an attempt
             to bring new members by creating a new "Enterprise" and a new
             crew.  This was one of the most successful attempts.

          5) Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

             Due to the massive success at recruiting people with the
             previously mentioned method, another series was created.  This
             was based on a space station, with more violence, which, on
             Earth at the time, was one of the most successful ways of
             getting money.

There are several factions of Trekkers, usually called "fan clubs."  Some
of these are called "The Official Fan Club" and "Starfleet."

These people often can be found congregating in places called "conventions"
or "cons" in which they spend insane amounts of money on things which they
can find elsewhere for less (or are totally worthless), and listen to the
cast and crew of these shows and movies who would rather be somewhere else,
or are being paid an insane amount of money.  It is not uncommon for a
Trekkie to travel hundreds of miles to get to one of these.

The icons of this religion are many.  The most famous is called
"Enterprise," which is the fictional ship on which most of the above
mentioned shows take place.  This is characterized by a disk, connected by
a pylon to a cylinder below and behind it, which is connected to two other
cylinders by pylons that are at two upward 45 degree angles.  Another icon
is a delta symbol that has a upward curve for the bottom side.

Beware!  These people are highly volatile.  They can go ballistic if you
try and get them to believe that it is "just a TV show" and that they are
wasting colossal amounts of time on it.
%e
*EOA*


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