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072010303050000144002006006010000 11 2Page #1 F0110000001 9[..◆◆◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆.]0110 ÇFrequentlyAskedQuestions for =Alt.Religion.Monica= & =Alt.Motd= Ifyouhavequestionsand/oranswersthatseemsmoreappropriateforthis FAQorwouldliketoimproveananswer,pleasesendaselfaddressede- mailtoRachaelH.Seung(hseung@salsa.seas.upenn.edu). ------------------------------------------------------------------------- TableofContents ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.WhoisMonicaandwhatarethepurposeofthesenewsgroups? 2.Howisalt.religion.monica&alt.motddifferentfrom soc.culture.korean? 3.Whatisthemottoofalt.religion.monica? 4.Whatisthemottoofalt.motd? 5.Whatis"TheTenCommandmentsofMonica?" 6.Whatis"TheNineSuspicionsofMonica?" 7.Whatis"TheTwenty-OneReasonstoMarryaKoreanguy"byMonica? 8.Whereistheessaycalled"ModernizedTraditionalWomen"byMonica? 9.WherecanIfindthefamouspoembyMonicaeveryoneistalking about? 10.WherecanIfindthefamouspaintingbyMonicaeveryoneisbidding on? 11.WhatisthedebutarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean? 12.WhatisthefarewellarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean? 13.WhatisthedejavuarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean? 14.Whatisthedejavu-farewellarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean? 15.HowdoImakeMonica-stylekimchee? 16.IsthereaftpsitethatcarriesMonicaGIFs? 17.HowdoIbecomethevictimofon-lineinterrogation? 18.Doessisterhoodexist? 19.MemorableQuotesbyMonica. 20.Unresolvedquestions. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.WhoisMonicaandwhatarethepurposeofthesenewsgroups? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- MonicaMi-YeonChungistheVenusofsoc.culture.korean.Inlessthana month,MonicahasbecomemorefamousandhasmorefollowersthanJesus, Buddha,Marx,andothernet-godscombined.Evenafterherdepartureto convent,herthreadandpopularityhasexponentiallygrowntothepoint whereso-called"seriousdebates"havebecomevirtuallyimpossible.So far,therearethreepeopleconfirmingherexistence,twoclaimingto haverevealedtherealpersonbehindhermask,onesemi-disgustedthathe hadtogiveupguitargroupforher,onetoofferpsychoanalysis,andone whoisstaringatthephone24hoursaday. alt.religion.monica&alt.motd("MonicaoftheDay")areradically retro-postmodernisticnewsgroupsdevotedtodiscussingmoralityand subliminalmessagesofMonicaChung,suchas: -artofkimcheemaking -developingattachmenttodogs -howtosmiletheMonicaway -undergroundpoemsandessaysbysubscribers -locatingbagelstoresinKorea -parallelparking -howtokissyourmodemgoodnight Ç-on-lineinterrogation,andmuchmuchmore! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2.Howisalt.religion.monica&alt.motd differentfromsoc.culture.korean? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- alt.religion.monica&alt.motdarenewsgroupsofandaboutMonicaforour Monica.soc.culture.koreanisfordiscussingseriousissuesaboutKorea andherculture. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3.Whatisthemottoofalt.religion.monica? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- =Alt.Religion.Monica= Luxurywithoutfear.Funwithoutsuspicion. Relaxinapanic-freeatmosphere! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4.Whatisthemottoofalt.motd? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- =Alt.Motd= IsMonicadayahappyday? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5.Whatis"TheTenCommandmentsofMonica?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.Smilingatstrangers. 2.GoingonagrouptourinHan-river. 3.Taking"reserve-seat-buses"whichareforyuppies. 4.VisitingApGuJungDong. 5.Criticizingthemenwholooklikenerds:theyarethepopularones inKorea. 6.Datingawaiteroranyonewhoisnotacollegegrad. 7.Arguingwithguys(thisappliestoKorean-Americanmalesalso). 8.ThinkingaloudwhyalmostalltheKorean(andKr-Am)guyshave intellectualcomplex(inferiorandsuperior). 9.Askingaguywhyhehastoaskhismotherfirst(alsoapplytoKr- Am). 10.Developingattachmenttoadog. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6.Whatis"TheNineSuspicionsofMonica?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- (...withmyownfeelingsregardingthematter). 1.MonicaisasisterofBrianChung. Highlylikely,butBrian'ssisterissupposedlysurvivinginSeoul atthemoment. 2.MonicaisayoungersisterofTheresaChung. Thisistrue! 3.MonicaisanewsistertoRachael--that'sME! ÇJiralYeopChaKhiHaGoItNe... 4.MonicaisHyunsuk. Hyunsukisamedicalengineer(read:hehasbetterthingstodo). 5.MonicaisRebecca'stwinsister. Highlyunlikely,sincetheyhavedifferentsurname;butthenagain Monicaisanadoptee. 6.Monicaisarealliveperson. Thisisalsotrue! 7.Monicaisareallivepersonandafemale. Thisistruth! 8.Monicaisa6thgenerationcomputerrivalingHAL. HALisnotabra-burningfeminist. 9.Monicaispeble. Mostprobable!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7.Whatis"TheTwenty-OneReasonstoMarryaKoreanguy"byMonica? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Twenty-OneReasonstoMarryaKoreanguy" (excerptfromMonica'slatestbestsellerbook,THEMONICA) 1.hewillfightforyourfreedom 2.hewilleatanything 3.whenhisfriendscomeover,yougettositwiththemanddrink 4.hewillpiercehisearifyouask 5.heneversays"thereisnointellectualequalforme" 6.whenhisparentsvisit,theybookthemselvesinahotel 7.heneversays"Icouldhityou...butwillrefrain" 8.henevergetsdrunkandsleepsinthestreet 9.hedoesn'tlistentoKennyG 10.henevereatsfastnorstuffshimself 11.heneversays"bringmeacupofwater" 12.hedoesn'tcallanelectricianwhenchanginglightbulbs 13.heneversays"see,that'swhyKoreanscan't..." 14.hemakeskimcheewithyou 15.heishopelesslyromantic 16.helikesyourpunkandgayfriends 17.hewillnotshavehisdaughter'shairandlockherup 18.healwaysstopstoaskfordirectionwhenlost 19.hehasadifferentpoliticalviewthanhisfather 20.heneverstartsasentencewith"Iusedtobe..." 21.hewillnotdieearlyofheartattack,liverdiseasestomachcancer, lungcancer,highbloodpressure,ordiabetes. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8.Whereistheessaycalled"ModernizedTraditionalWomen"byMonica? Ç------------------------------------------------------------------------- "ModernizedTraditionalWomen" (excerptfromMonica'slatestbestsellerbook,THEMONICA) Itisonethingtorecognizethebeautyintraditionalasianwomenrole buttodemandthiskindroletowomenoftodayisanotherstory.Of courseyoudon'twantawomantowalkthreestepsbehindyou,Youwant 'modernizedtraditionalwomen".Whatexactlydoyoumeanbythis?Do youmeanacollegeeducatedwomanwhostayshomebyherownchoice,who doesn'traisehervoiceinfrontofyoubutsilentlyenduresandsupports youwithstrengthofher'mind',whoisintelligentenoughtoread "LittlePrince",yetnottoointelligenttobeathreattoyou? IfyoutalktoKoreangrandmotherswhowentthroughusualsuffering andsacrificeofhertime,youwillfindthattheydonotreveretheir pastwithkindofsentimentyouhave.Theywishthatforonce,they couldyellattheirhusbandswhomtheysacrificedwithoutmuchreward. Theywishtheyhadcareerstofulfilltheirdreamsbesidesthe pulchritudeandnoblenessofhomemakingandchildrearing. Ifyourstatement,'womenwhocomplainsomuchaboutmalechauvinism aretheoneswhoarenotsecurethemselves"iscorrect,thenIguesssame goesformenwhocomplainaboutcareerwomen. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9.WherecanIfindthefamouspoembyMonicaeveryoneistalkingabout? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hereisapersonalcopyobtainedthroughundergrounde-mail. "kkeubung-i" kkeubung-i,kkeubung-i,whereareyou? inafullmoonnight,youusedtohide behindtheinnocenttree, "theycallmeasonofthecollaborator" andyouweptsobitterly myheartwaswithyou kkeubung-i,kkeubung-i,whereareyou? inyouragonyofsleeplessnight yourfaceshylyburiedbetweenfragileshoulders "mom,mom,Iamnotapseudointellectual,amI,mom?" andyourhandsomefaceglistenedwithtears myheartwaswithyou kkeubung-i,kkeubung-i,whereareyou? inmistofautumnalwind yourclinchedhandsholdingthefateofthenation "Imustgo,Imustgo!" andyoureyessoaredhigh myheartwaswithyou kkeubung-i,kkeubung-i,whereareyou? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10.WherecanIfindthefamouspaintingbyMonica everyoneisbiddingon? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Note:Thefollowingpaintingisnotforauction. Ç **** ********** ************* ***** *************** * * *** *** *********** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ********************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11.WhatisthedebutarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article10590ofsoc.culture.korean: From:mchung@waltz.seas.upenn.edu(MonicaMi-YeonChung) Newsgroups:soc.culture.korean Subject:Re:anarticleonKoreanbornadoptees Message-ID:<100482@netnews.upenn.edu> Date:4Dec9208:34:58GMT References:<1992Dec2.153530.20623@udel.edu> Distribution:na Organization:UniversityofPennsylvania Lines:21 Inarticle<1992Dec2.153530.20623@udel.edu>shin@krusty.ee.udel.edu (Jeong-GyunShin)writes: >Netters(ladies?)whoreadMcCallsmagazineknowitalready.Iwas >flippingthrucookierecipesofDecemberissueofMcCallsmagazine >(don'taskwhy;also,no,Idon'tsubscribenorreadthismagazine;my >wifegotonefromafriend),andthere'sanarticleaboutKoreanborn >adopteesgoingtovisitKoreainordertotrytofindoutlittlebitof >theirheritage,etc.Nothingnew,butgivessomeflashesonmaking >tragedy. Iguessyou,ormajorityofKoreansthinkitastragedy.Idoadmitthat Iwishedmyrealparentswereabletobringmeup.ButIamquitehappy asIam.Yes,I'vebeenadoptedtoanAmericanfamilywhenIwas10,and onlyrecentlyIchangedmynametomyoriginallastname.Itisn'tsuch atragedyifyouthinkintermsofpeoplewhoareinvolvedalthough koreannewspapersandmediaonlyproducethesadanduglystoriesofsuch cases.Idon'tdenythatsuchcasesexistinlargenumbers,butthereis alsoacaselikeme. ThewayKoreansocietyis,itwillbehardtochangethestigma attachedbehindadoption.Butitwillchangewithtime,Ihope. Mi-Yeon Ç ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12.WhatisthefarewellarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article12634ofsoc.culture.korean: From:mchung@eniac.seas.upenn.edu(MonicaMi-YeonChung) Newsgroups:soc.culture.korean Subject:Farewell... Message-ID:<9302240502.AA07990@eniac.seas.upenn.edu> Date:24Feb9305:03:09GMT Organization:UniversityofPennsylvania Lines:23 Dearobbadlinsck YouprobablywonderedwhyIpostedsomanyarticlesthesedays.It's becauseIamleavingsoon.Todayismylastdayasanormalfreeperson. IhavetogobacktomyconventwhereIspentmorethannineyearsall together.IknowyoudonUtbelieveanyofthis,butIfeelcompelto writeitherebecauseyouhavebeenoneofmyrareconnectiontothereal world.Exceptmyearlychildhood,Iwasinandoutoftheconventdueto myparent'swish.IknowmyarticleswerenUtnun-like,thatUsbecauseI amnotaofficialnunyet.Becominganunisalongordeal.Ifinally decidedtobeanunaboutsevenmonthagoandstillhaveayeartogo untiltheofficialceremony.FromnowonIwouldn'tbeabletocomeout andliveinthesocietyaasIfrequentlydidbeforetimetotime.So, hereismyfarewelltoyou,obbadl. IwouldliketoapologizetoBrianChungforbeingaccusedofmyobba frommanypeople.Brian,Iwishyouaremyobbawhodefendsmeinevery corner. AndrewS.H.Kim,Thankyouforallyourromance:)Youshoulddelete allyourmiddlenamesandjustuseTannhauser.Itfitsyou. IalsoliketothankByuntaeandYoungwhanLeefortoleratingme. JCHOobba,thankyouforclarifyingmyexistence. Also,Thankyou,KevinGIORforsharingyourHanSeukBongcomplex. IameternallygratefultoJamesChoiforbelievinginme. Thankyou,allsckkkeubung-is:),youmademylastvisittothe worldenjoyable.Thankyou,obbadlandsomeajeu-cidl. Goodbyeeveryone. MonicaMi-YeonChung P.S.Iwouldn'tbeabletoreadanyemails,sopleasejustpostinsck. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 13.WhatisthedejavuarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article13426ofsoc.culture.korean: From:mchung@rahul.net(MonicaMi-YeonChung) Newsgroups:soc.culture.korean Subject:HelloEveryone!!! Message-ID:<199303160735.AA20151@bolero.rahul.net> Date:16Mar9307:35:43GMT Sender:daemon@cs.utexas.edu Organization:St.FrancisXavierLibrary/Brington/MA Lines:31 DearKkeubung-is ÇHello,obba-dle,Iamsogladtobeback!Howiseveryone?!!Itispass midnightandeveryoneisasleep.Thepeopledoesn'tlikemehere already.Iamtheonlyonewhoisunderfortyexceptthisonenunand thekitchenhelper,"Lily".It'saverysmalloldconventwiththe nearestneighborbeingtenmilesaway.Iamnotusetothiskindof settings.AllotherconventsIhavebeentowererelativelymodernized ones.ButIgettogotothetowneveryFridaymorningwithFather Josephwhovisitshereonweekendtorunerrands.LastFriday,wewent tothelibrary,andbychanceIfoundtheinformationonthisunixsite. Needlesstosay,Iwasjubilant.NobodyknowsthatIamusingitthough. SisterJspottedmymodemandaskedmewhatitwas.Itoldherit'sa machinethatdetectsanyvirusinthecomputer.Shejustsaid,"virus? oh,thatmustbeveryuseful."Theywereatfirstveryagainstmehaving thecomputerinmyroomoranywhereintheconventandtriedtotake awayfrommebutIjusthangedontoitdearlyandcried.AfterItyped uptheweeklyinvoiceforSisterJ,nobodysaidanythinganymore. Thisplaceissobackward.Iamalwaysgroundedforunknownreasons. Theymakemescrubthefloor.It'saconcretefloorwithroughsurface andIamsupposetokneeldowntocleanit.Afterhoursofthisordeal, mykneesareswollenandpainfullyhurt.Myonlyfriend"Lily",the kitchenhelper,bringsmethesteamedeucliptictowelformyknees.She hasasweetpudgyfacewithashorthair.Icallher"artichoke." Sothisismylife....youaremyonlyconnectiontotheouterworld. Howisitoutthere? MonicaMi-YeonChung ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 14.Whatisthedejavu-farewellarticlebyMonicaonsoc.culture.korean? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article14014ofsoc.culture.korean: From:mchung@rahul.net(MonicaMi-YeonChung) Newsgroups:soc.culture.korean Subject:Invitation Message-ID:<199303252215.AA15873@bolero.rahul.net> Date:25Mar9322:15:23GMT Sender:daemon@cs.utexas.edu Organization:St.FrancisXavierLibrary/Brighton/MA Lines:24  SocialCultureKoreanisforhealthyintelligentcommunication.Irealize andrepentthatmostofmyarticlesdon'tfitinhere.Isincerely apologizetoeveryoneforbeinganirritantthatjustkeepcomingback.I alsoliketoapologizetoanyonewhowasoffendedbymyarticles. ThereforeIretractmystepsfromscktotheplaygroundsomesympathetic soulsprovided.Iamsubmittingmyinvitation. ~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~ Haveyouevergotcaughtstealingcartoonbooks?Haveyourbrother toldyouthatyouare"someloathsomeverminfitonlyforextermination"? Wereyouallergictoyourmother'smilk?Wasyourveryfirstword,"no"? Doesyoursisterpretendshedoesntknowyouwhensheiswithher friends?Yourparentsmovedtwoyearsagoandyouarestillsearching fortheiraddress?Doesyourfriendshushwhenyoupassby?Havesome strangeradvicedyoutoletouthemsofyourjeans?Doesyourcommunist friendcriticizeyourGeorgioArmanisuit?Didyourtherapisttellyouto nevercomeback?Yourpriestbrokethevowofconfessionandtoldthe police? IcordiallyinvitealltheMe!stoalt.religion.monicatobenonethe Çlessthanyourselvesandselvestosharetheexperienceofhypereality, toregresstothecomfortoffetalposition,tounpretentiouslywear blackturtleneck,andtoobsessivelyloveeachother. Ihumblyinviteyoutorestyourwherefulsoulsinpeacefula.r.m. Submissivelyyours, Monica ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 15.HowdoImakeMonica-stylekimchee? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thewordsspeakforthemselves...andMonicasez: "Mostofthekimcheejarsstoredinrefrigeratorinstoresarefreshdue topromptrefrigerationafterfillingthejar.Youneedtokeepthejar inroomtemperatureforadayortwo(dependingontheroomtemperature andyourtaste)forittoferment.Keepinmindthatyoushouldkeepthe lidslightlyopenedwhenleavingitoutinroomtemperaturebecauseif youdon'tthenkimchee-gookmulwillshootoutonyouwhenyouopenita dayortwolaterduetopressurecreatedbycarbondioxideproduction duringfermentationofkimchee. "Kimcheeunderrefrigerationundergoesfermentationveryslowly,so youneednotworryaboutover-fermentedkimcheewhenyouarebuyingfrom thekoreanstores.Yah,IamsureWoodyonceboughtaoverfermented kimcheefromthestoreandhehadtogiveitalltohiscowor something...Butnormally,youwouldgetafreshjarandonemustleave itoutinroomtemperature.:)" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 16.IsthereaftpsitethatcarriesMonicaGIFs? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- *CENSORED* ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 17.HowdoIbecomethevictimofon-lineinterrogation? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.Mentioningnetiquette. 2.Cross-postingtosoc.culture.korean. 3.Talkingaboutcows. 4.Dotforwardhacking. 5.HarrasingMonicainprivate. 6.Claimingsenselessownership. Thus,ourmotto(seequestion3). ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 18.Doessisterhoodexist? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- TherehasbeenunconfirmedreportsthatsisterhoodexistamongMonica, Rachael(akaHeja--that'sME!),Rebecca,andTheresa.Thisis interestingnotonlybecausewehavesimilarout-spokenattitudeand dwellonsimilartopicsbutbecausewearebothprettyandwitty(well, atleastforme,thatis).Oh,howtrue! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 19.MemorableQuotesbyMonica. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "...pleasedon'tflameme." "WhatdidIdo?" "aimooseuwo......" Ç"Goodthingtherewaskimchigookmulnearby." "Nowondernoneofintelligentwomeneverpostinthisnewsgroup. -thatis,exceptmyself." "WhenIgrewlittleplumpinmyhighschoolyear,youaretheonewho boughtthosedietpillsandmademeexercise." "So,everyone,Iamalittleorphangirl." "Iwillbewaiting,obba." "canwejustgetalong?please?" "IamMonicaMi-YeonChung.IamKoreanfemale.Iamhere." "Ihaveaquestionthatwakesmeupmiddleofthenight." "Youwillfindoutthat,afterall,Koreanmenarehumanstoo." "Makepeacenotflames." "Iampoorasachurchmouse.[Lulu]" "Humblenessisthekeytosuccess." "Ialwayswalkthreestepsbehindmenbuttheygetirritatedand nervous." "Happinesschasesafterme" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20.Unresolvedquestions. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.WherecanIbuythebookcalledTHEMONICA? 2.Whatisthenameoftheboonshikjeom(fancyrestaurant)inNewYork Monicaisrumoredtoreciteherpoetrynowandthen? 3.Wherezma'honey?! 4.Issheforreal? 5.DoesRebeccadreamofelectricshrimp? -- RachaelHejaSeung**Keepreading. hseung@salsa.seas.upenn.edu\|/\|/I'llbeposting. éThebook"TheMonica"hasbeenmentionedalotinthisFAQfile,and Moncaalsopostedafilewithsomereviewsofthisbook.Thepostingwas asfollows... Ç Newsgroups:alt.motd,alt.religion.monica From:mchung@rahul.net(MonicaMi-YeonChung) Subject:MyBook Message-ID:<C4oIzB.B2I@rahul.net> Sender:news@rahul.net(UsenetNews) Nntp-Posting-Host:bolero Organization:St.FrancisXavierLibrary Date:Tue,30Mar199302:01:58GMT Lines:32 Ipublishedacollectionofmypoemsandessaysnottoolongago,soif youareinterested,youmayfindthecopyinthebookstores.Thebook receivedravereviews,suchas: "Whatwehaveisastonishing:thepoemsburnbrighterthanever,and strikedeeper." -WalterClemons,Newsweek "MonicaChungisnotjustthebest"womanpoet"ofourtime...sheisa genius." -AlfredKazin,TheNewYorkTimesBookReview "Idon'tthinkofEmilyDickinson,orKatherineAnnePorter,or Sartre,butratherofsomeonelikeSophocles...Iwritehernamewith Çhonor,forallthetruthandallthecraftwithwhichsheshowsman's fallanddishonor." -RichardFreeman,BookWorld "NotsinceYoonDongJu,therewasapoetlikeMi-YeonChung,her sensitivityandthedeptharedisturbing." -KoreanTimes "Herbeautyisenchanting..." -AtlanticMonthly "...exhilaratinganddark...quitestunning..." -LosAngelesTimesBookReview "alavishmeditation...Iamspeechless..." -SanFranciscoChronicle Well,therearelotmorebutIwillletyoufindout. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- MonicaMi-YeonChung|Happinesschasesafterme -- MonicaMi-YeonChung<mchung@rahul.net>