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-
- MS Windows for the Apple Mackintosh
- -----------------------------------
-
- I heard that Microsoft is going to come out with a version of Windows for the
- MacIntosh. I can imagine what the advertisements will be:
-
- Are you tired of the user-friendliness of your MacIntosh? Then get Microsoft
- Windows for MacIntosh, featuring limited on-line help and poor documentation!
- Why settle for intuitive keyboard commands when you can have confusing F-key
- combinations? But don't take our word for it--here are some satisfied
- customers:
-
- "I couldn't stand all the easy drag-and-click commands on my MacIntosh. Now I
- can do everything with wordy commands that only work on one file or directory
- at a time!"
- -- Ralph Blernson, IBM user for 15 years
-
- "I hated the 'automatic startup' files. Now, I can go back to my AUTOEXEC.BAT
- file and pray I've got everything set up right! Plus, MS-Windows even disabled
- the Find File command, so I can search all my directories by hand to
- find those utilities I lost!"
- -- Joey Boring, still using a VT-52
-
- "What's with these 30-odd letter file names? I like MS-Windows much
- better; it only lets me use eight characters! Thanks for clearing up the
- confusion!"
- -- Mark Rodgers, who thinks HP calculators are easy to use
-
- "By using the Memory Mismanagment(TM) utility, I can have my computer ignore
- the 32 MB of RAM it's got and only see 640K of it! Just like the good old
- days!"
- -- Horace Kludge, using the "leading edge" of technology on his WANG
-
- "Multi-tasking? Who needs it? When I run a program, I want it FINISHED
- before starting another one! And MS-Windows lets me do that!"
- -- Donald Hapershnalzik, still programming in COBOL
-
- "All those fonts on my MacIntosh keep confusing me. But with MS-Windows
- there's only one! My word processor is much easier to use now that I have
- no choice on the font!"
- -- Larry Linkworm, still confused by his VCR
-
- "MS-Windows even disabled the control panels! Once again, my speaker is
- set at full volume, and I have no choice on how the displays look! That gives
- me lots more time to run the limited programs that work under Windows!"
- -- Marty Halfgear, who is fascinated by bright and shiny objects
-
- And look at the other options available:
-
- * Non-standard keyboard commands. It's much more fun to learn new commands
- with each new program you get, right?
-
- * Different system requirements for each program, requiring a reboot each time!
-
- * The "3.3" option, which forces you to partition your hard drive into 10MB
- segments!
-
- * Limited mouse support
-
- Ms-Windows for MacIntosh. For De-Evolutionary people.
-
- *** EOF
-