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Study No. 5 TO THE GLORY OF GOD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A CHRISTIAN WOMAN - ITS EASY! - WITH A CHRISTIAN HUSBAND
KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A COMMAND, A NEED, A BARB AND SILENCE:
1. You are to obey your husband's commands. Our Lord said, "If you
love Me, keep My commandments." (John 14:15) God will totally
watch out for you and either change the situation or go right
through the situation with you into victory -- if you will totally
trust the Lord and if you will pray about it and if you will
submit to your husband.
2. You are to meet your husband's need. Ephesians 5:24 in the
Amplified Bible tells you to "adapt yourself to your husband's
needs." Prove to your husband that you love him more than anyone
else. Keep watching out for his needs and interests and get
involved.
3. You don't have to obey his barbs. Because he doesn't really mean
them. A husband who jokingly tells you to do something, or who,
in a fit of rage, shouts at you to do something that would be
wrong to do, doesn't really intend for you to obey him. Do
something, but again, if it's something that would be sin to do,
don't do it. Satan at that point, may very well have control of
his voice. If he were sober, the chances are strong that he
wouldn't suggest such a thing. However, even in such a dreadful
state, be as kind as possible. Meet the needs that would not lead
you into sin. Pray quietly -- and bind the power of satan out
loud if you even begin to come under any danger. But a wife who
has taken the prayerful and listening time to discover her
husband's needs, knows the difference between what her husband
says in an angry or whimsical moment and what he really means.
4. When your husband is silent -- never, never take the husband's
role. A wife is to do her part and never take the husband's role.
She's not to make the decisions for the family, try to protect her
husband from real responsibility or go to work to pay bills. The
husband can delegate authority to his wife, but it must come from
him.
1 Samuel 25 tells the story of Abigail, the wife of Nabal.
Abigail shows that a wife who hasn't been directly told "NO" by her
husband is not unsubmitted when she does what she feel she must do in
the Lord, (ie. go to church, pay tithes, etc.) But she does need to
be sensitive about it!
THE LIMITS OF SUBMISSION ARE:
1. No one -- not even your husband -- has the right to stop you from
praying.
2. No one -- not even your husband -- has the right to stop you from
studying the Bible.
These are your two sources of power (and Bible Study includes
listening to anointed pastors etc. by cassette tape at least, and
reading helpful Christian books.)
You'll never stop your conversation with the Father through Jesus
of your obedience to God's Word for the same reason that if your
husband handed you a gun and told you to shoot yourself, you
wouldn't obey him then because that would be suicide. God doesn't
expect you to commit suicide -- either physically or spiritually.
But the chances of you ever hearing your husband tell you not to
pray or not study your Bible are very slim unless you're doing
these things and neglecting him, or embarrassing him, or arguing
with him because of your involvement with Church and with Jesus.
If you disapprove of him, then you're going to cause him to hate
your view of God and want to stop that relationship. God says
obey your husband's commands and to submit to him lovingly.
3. A wife must protect her children from direct sin. She cannot
stand by and see her husband lead the children into sin any more
than the husband can stand by and watch his wife lead the children
into direct sin. If Cain was to be "his brother's keeper", how
much more are parents to watch out for their children?!
SIX QUESTIONS EVERY WIFE NEEDS TO ASK HERSELF
Ask: 1. Have I truly accepted my husband as he is now?
2. Have I honestly forgiven him for things that have hurt me?
(Mark Twain once said, "Forgiveness is the fragrance the
violet spreads on the heel that has crushed it!")
3. Have I asked God's forgiveness for my resentment, bitterness,
or ill-feeling toward my husband? (If not, pray "Create in
me a clean heart, Oh Lord, and renew in me a right spirit"
even as David did in Psalm 51.)
4. Have I accepted cleansing and forgiveness? (Jesus has both
for whoever will forgive others.)
5. Have I accepted God's love for my husband? (Remember that
God's love for even His enemies is a fact, not a feeling.)
6. Will I submit to my husband?
1 Peter 3:8-9
"To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly,
kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or
insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were
called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing."
Remember, the honeymoon is really over for sure when the wife
complains about the noise her husband makes while he is preparing
his own breakfast!!
HOW TO KEEP UP WITH THE PROVERBS WOMAN
The Virtuous Woman Is An Economist.
Proverbs 31:13,14,16,19,20,24,27.
Acts 9:36-39.
Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without!
Philippians 4:11,12 (Amp.)
a. Works Willingly (Proverbs 31:13)
b. She is not afraid to make things with her hands or seek clothes
and materials elsewhere. Proverbs 31:13a,19
c. She has persevered in learning to make lovely things. Proverbs
31:24.
d. You can make money at home but it cannot get in the way of your
relationship with the Lord or your family. Make everything you
can unless it's cheaper to buy or your time is more of a premium.
Proverbs 31:24; Acts 16:14.
e. She plans her purchases. Proverbs 31:14.
f. You don't only serve food, you serve love. Proverbs 31:15.
g. Before making a purchase: Pray about it.
Have peace about it.
Weigh it in your mind.
Do I need it? Could I make it myself?
Can we afford it?
Proverbs 31:16.
h. You don't have to spend much money to bless people. Proverbs
31:20.
i. Efficiency - use time twice, keep things in repair. Proverbs
31:27a.
j. Not idle, yet relaxed. Proverbs 31:27b.
THE CHRISTIAN HUSBAND
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Understanding is a wellspring of life unto him that hath it.
Proverbs 16:22
-0-
To move from the single state to the married state takes about fifteen
minutes. To bring about changes in habits, outlook and other needed
adjustments for marriage takes the rest of life.
GOD'S WORD HAS THE FULL ANSWER TO EVERY PROBLEM IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
John 8:31-32
"If you'll abide (come and live and do what God says), then, truly,
you'll be a Christian and you'll know the truth (from God's Word), and
that truth (when you do it), will make you free."
HUSBANDS ARE TO LEAD THEIR WIVES.
Ephesians 5:22
"Wives be subject to your own husband, as to the Lord."
(The husband is to be as the Lord to his wife.)
Ephesians 5:23
"For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head
of the church, He Himself being the Saviour of the body."
Ephesians 5:24
"But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to
be to their husbands in everything."
(The husband is to lovingly lead his wife even as Christ lovingly
leads the church.)
Ephesians 5:25
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and
gave Himself up for her."
(A husband must die to all of his selfishness if he is ever to love
his wife as Christ does the church. Have you ever died to your
selfishness?)
Note. The Greek for love in this text is "AGAPO", meaning "to WILL
to LOVE."
HUSBANDS ARE TO "AGAPO" THEIR WIVES.
1 Corinthians 13:4 (LB)
"Love is very patient..."
Are you? What happens when your wife goes shopping and you have to
wait for her?
1 Corinthians 13:4 (LB)
"...and kind..."
Are you? Are you kind in the remarks you make to and about your
wife?
"Kind" also means "considerate." Are you considerate of your wife?
If for any reason you know you're going to be later than she's
expecting you, do you phone her as soon as you know you're going to
be late so that the dinner won't be cold when you get home?
1 Corinthians 13:4 (LB)
"...never jealous..."
Love is never jealous. It doesn't envy the position the wife has
with the kids, but encourages closeness between Mum and children and
works to bring closeness into the relationship between Dad and kids,
too.
1 Corinthians 13:4 (LB)
"...never envious..."
It doesn't say, "Well, if I were a wife and could just sit around
the house all day, I wouldn't complain!" That very statement shows
envy, and it also shows that the one saying it doesn't have a clue
about how hard it is to do routine housework constantly.
1 Corinthians 13:4 (LB)
"...never boastful..."
That doesn't mean that the husband won't brag about his wife--he
will! The word "boastful" here really means "loud-mouthed", always
telling the family about "all I've done for you!" Or it means
telling the wife, "If you worked half as hard as I do!"
"Agape" love knows she does work hard. Comparisons are never
necessary, nor are they Christian.
1 Corinthians 13:4 (LB)
"...never proud..."
Pride is the kind of vanity that says, "The world should revolve
around me. My wife should do everything for me and feel lucky that
she can!" That kind of thinking is utter selfishness, caring only
about yourself.
1 Corinthians 13:5
"...never haughty or selfish or rude..."
These words are very close in meaning and describe the man who
always has what he thinks is the "cute" remark that cuts deeply into
his wife as a person. This problem of haughtiness and rudeness is
more subtle than you might think. Some men honestly think they're
saying the right thing to their wife, when in actual fact, they are
saying the wrong thing. For a real lesson in how and how not to
speak, read the excellent book, "Forever My Love", by Margaret
Hardisty. Master pages two and three of this gifted woman's book
and you'll overcome haughtiness and rudeness.
1 Corinthians 13:5 (LB)
"...love doesn't demand its own way..."
Is your idea of "head of the house" a master-slave relationship? Do
you think that when you say, "JUMP!", your wife ought to ask, "How
High?", while she's already in the air? Do you consider her way,
too, in the decisions that you make? Not that you shouldn't be the
leader, but are you loving your wife and listening to her thoughts,
too, and weighing them as you make decisions, seeking her advice and
counsel.
1 Corinthians 13:5 (LB)
"...love is not irritable or touchy..."
Are you? How do you speak to your wife when she interrupts your
point of concentration? Does your temper explode? Or do you give
her the attention a wife deserves? Are you irritable and touchy,
using words like, "Shut up!" or are you "Agape" loving your wife?
(Remember, looks can kill, too!)
1 Corinthians 13:5 (LB)
"...love doesn't hold grudges and will hardly even notice when
others do it wrong..."
So if you "love" your wife as God has commanded you to do, you can't
remember a long string of things your wife has done that deserve
your anger and bitterness. You've learned, instead, that love
includes forgiving and forgetting.
1 Corinthians 13:6 (LB)
"Love is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth
wins out."
So, you'll never laugh if your wife is treated unfairly or secretly
smirk if she is hurting in any way. You will lead her in the Lord
because you'll follow the truth even at times she might not
understand, but you won't be unfair to her and use even your
Christian commitment as an excuse. If you love your wife as a
Christian husband must, you will be loyal to her no matter what the
cost and you won't trade your wife in on a newer or more beautiful
model! Nor will money, your job, popularity or any other thing
replace her in your life. You will never cheat on her in any way.
1 Corinthians 13:7 (LB)
"You will always believe in her, always expect the best of her."
You'll do this knowing that if she fails you at any time she'll do
better next time because you'll be praying for her.
1 Corinthians 13:7 (LB)
"...and always stand your ground in defending her."
The kids will never be sassy with her without a spanking. Rather
than talking about her faults, he nor anyone else, will be allowed
to do that. He won't talk himself into not liking his wife, but
believe God will fully take care of every situation and to "agape"
her.
GOD'S DEFINITE CHAIN OF COMMAND FOR THE CHRISTIAN HOME.
1 Corinthians 11:3
"But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man
and the man is the head of a woman and God is the head of Christ."
GOD THE FATHER IS THE AUTHORITY OF GOD THE SON, WHO IS THE AUTHORITY
OF THE HUSBAND, WHO IS THE AUTHORITY OF THE WIFE, WHO, WITH HIS
DIRECTION, IS THE JOINT-AUTHORITY OF THE CHILDREN, AND THE HOLY
SPIRIT CEMENTS ALL OF THESE RELATIONSHIPS TOGETHER.
Matthew 8:5-10
"And when he entered Capernaum, a centurion came to Him entreating
Him and saying, 'Sir, my servant is lying paralyzed at home,
suffering great pain.' And He said to him, 'I will come and heal
him.' But the centurion answered and said, 'Lord, I am not
qualified for you to come under my roof, but just say the word and
my servant will be healed. For I too am a man under authority, with
soldiers under me and I say to this one, 'Go', and he goes, and
another, 'Come', and he comes, and to my slave, 'Do this!' and he
does it. Now when Jesus heard this, He marvelled and said to those
who were following, 'Truly I say to you, I have not found such great
faith with anyone in Israel.'"
Notice the words of the centurion in Matthew 8:9--"For I too, am a man
under authority..." The centurion reasoned, "Jesus, you're under the
authority of your Father. That's why you have authority. Anyone
challenging your authority for doing what you're doing will have to
answer to God, the Father, who told you to do it. In the same way,
when I am under the authority of Caesar, then I have authority.
Anyone challenging my authority will have to answer to Caesar who told
me to do whatever I'm doing. Any wife should be able to say, "I am
under the authority of my husband. Anyone challenging my authority
for doing what I'm doing will have to answer to my husband who told me
to do it." Any husband should be able to say, "I am under the
authority of both the living and the written Word of God. Anyone
challenging my authority for doing what I'm doing will have to answer
to the Lord who told me to do it."
REMEMBER: The only thing that God saw that "was not good" before the
fall was that it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18).
That means that as God created man, there was so much potential in him
that there was more in him than he could realize as long as he was
alone. Every man needs his wife--desperately--to be one with him--and
she needs that, too.
Marriage is two in one--different responsibilities, but totally one in
purpose. It's not, "I've got to be ME!" for the Christians, but it's,
"I've got to be, 'CHRIST IN ME THE HOPE OF GLORY!'" (Colossians 1:27).
C.S. Lewis put it well, "PRACTICE BECOMING THE PERSON THAT YOU WANT TO
BE." For when all is said and done, the greatest single purpose for a
marriage is to prove as a witness that Jesus Christ is Lord and His
Word is true.
END of STUDY FIVE