High Voltage Shareware/high1.zip/high1/DIR46/ALPHON_2.ZIP/MARRIAGE.M02

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Study No. 2                     TO THE GLORY OF GOD
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                       GOD HAS THREE VIEWPOINTS TOWARD DIVORCE.

        1. A viewpoint toward two unsaved persons married to each other.
        2. A viewpoint toward a believer married to an unbeliever.
        3. Christian marriage - two that He has put together.


        FIRST, GOD SAYS NOTHING TO THE UNSAVED COUPLE ABOUT DIVORCE.

        As long as two unsaved persons are married to each other, they are not
        under the covering of the Lord.

        C.S.  Lewis once said that marriage is a Christian institution, and if
        a  couple aren't Christian,  then they might as well live together and
        not be married at all.

        The Bible simply doesn't recognize the world in the same light as it's
        own.   There  are  the children of darkness living in the "Kingdom  of
        Darkness"  and the children of the day "who have been translated  into
        the  "Kingdom  of Light" Col.1:13.   There are the  children  who  are
        "blinded by the god of this world" 2 Cor.3:14,  and all Christians who
        are  no  longer citizens of this world,  but "appear as lights in  the
        world in the midst of this wicked and perverse generation"  Phil.2:15.
        Though the tragic statistic lists in the beginning of this chapter are
        accurate and up-to-date,  they could almost be expected.   Lost people
        act lost.  How long will it take the church to realize that Christians
        are the only ones who can live the Christian life? (John 15:4-5).

        The Bible has only two things to say to the heathen (unsaved people).

        1. God loves you (John 3:16)
        2. God  sent  His  only begotten Son into this world to  save  you  IF
           you'll repent and be saved (John 5:24; 2 Peter 3:9)

        A  lost  couple's marriage never had Christ's sanction,  nor  does  He
        recognize their divorce.   It is as if they had never been married.  A
        lost  person becomes a totally "new creation" when he or she is  saved
        (2  Cor.  5:17).   If they had a tragic past filled with marriage  and
        divorce,  they are still new creatures and absolutely able to marry  a
        Christian,  should they desire.   It is not a case of "remarriage", it
        is  the first marriage when a new creature marries for the first  time
        as a Christian.

        Q. "What  if  the  person who has now become a Christian  had  several
           marriages prior to their salvation,  it is still true that they are
           as if they had had none?"
        A. Certainly,  because they are a new creature or new  creation.   The
           past  is still covered by the blood of Christ.   However,  a person
           who comes from one or more bad marriages before they were saved had
           better  take a careful and adequate amount of time to grow  in  the
           Christian  faith  and  become strong before they give  any  serious
           thought to marriage.

        SECOND:   GOD'S WORD DOES SPEAK TO THE CHRISTIAN MARRIED TO AN UNSAVED
        MATE - FIRST AND FOREMOST, GOD SAYS, "DON'T DO IT!!!"

        2 Corinthians 6:14
          "Do  not  be bound together with unbelievers;  for what  partnership
          have  righteousness and lawlessness,  or what fellowship  has  light
          with darkness?"

        The answer is obvious - "None!!!"

               A Christian marrying an unsaved person is  entering a forbidden
        marriage  and  complete  sin.   No  Christian  should  perform  such a
        marriage.  But,  often a  person  who is  unsaved becomes a  Christian
        after they are married, and to them God writes through Paul:

        1 Corinthians 7:12-13
          "But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife
          who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, let him not
          send her away. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband,  and he
          consents to live with her, let her not send her husband away."

        When Paul writes,  'I say, not the Lord', he's saying, "The Lord never
        taught on this during His earthly ministry, but now He has shared this
        truth  with  me  and I  will teach you about  it."   That's  extremely
        significant,  because  the Lord did teach on husbands leaving wives or
        wives leaving husbands (Matthew 5:31-32;  19:3-12;  Mark 10:2-12; Luke
        16:18).

        Jesus  did teach on divorce.   But He always taught concerning  people
        "God had put together" - Christian marriage.   Even then,  He did give
        one reason for divorce - "porneia" (Matt.19:6 and Mark 10:9).

        So,  Jesus taught on divorce between people who both called themselves
        people  of  God.   Paul  taught  on a believer  being  married  to  an
        unbeliever.

        THEREFORE:

        1. The believer is to allow the unbeliever to live with him or her  if
           the  unbeliever  wants  to  do so.   There's no  rejection  of  the
           unbeliever as a mate.   That is, the Christian wife is to submit to
           her husband whether he is a believer or not (1 Pet.3:1-6),  and the
           Christian  husband  is to lovingly lead his wife whether she  is  a
           believer or not (Ephesians 5:25-33).

        2. However,  if  the  unbeliever  wants to  leave  the  believer,  the
           believer is to "let the unbeliever go".

        1 Corinthians 7:14-15
          "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the
          unbelieving  wife is sanctified through her believing  husband;  for
          otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.  Yet, if
          the unbelieving leaves,  let him leave; the brother or the sister is
          not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace."

        Q. "Yes,  but  shouldn't  the  believer continue to  wait  forever  if
           necessary  for  the unbeliever to be saved in  any  circumstance  -
           whether the unbeliever leaves or not?"
        A. 1 Corinthians 7:16
             "For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?
             Or how do you  know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?"
           The Apostle Paul, the greatest teacher on faith who has ever lived,
           outside  of Jesus Himself,  point blank says,  "There is no way  to
           know  whether  the unbeliever who walked out on your marriage  will
           ever  be  saved."  The unbeliever,  like the  believer,  has  "free
           will",  and  the  unbeliever may have,  with their own  free  will,
           locked into the death position of total refusal to come to the Lord
           and be saved.

        There  are some people who so harden their hearts against God that the
        Holy Spirit has totally stopped striving with them (Genesis 6:3;  Jude
        12,13;  Heb.6:4-6 etc),  and Paul says if such a person wants to  quit
        the marriage relationship, "Let them leave...let them go."

        Q. "How can the believer really 'let the unbeliever go?'"
        A. By  divorcing  the unbeliever.   The Greek words in  1  Corinthians
           7:15,  "let  him  leave"  imply "cut the tie",  "put  the  marriage
           asunder".  One may find it difficult to believe that God would ever
           sanction divorce,  especially when He hates divorce,  but there are
           certain people God gives over to a depraved mind (Romans 1:28-32).

        Q. "Then  if my unbelieving mate is like any of what is  described  in
           these verses now, should I leave him or her?"
        A. Absolutely  not.   Not  unless  they are into sexual  or  spiritual
           "porneia"  (see  definition  later in this  chapter)  or  are  such
           extremely sinful situations in the home that your pastor agrees you
           should not continue unless there.
           NB.   God  knows  how  hard  it is to be married  to  a  backslider
           (Jer.3:14)  and He gives special  grace.   Remember,  the  believer
           "sanctifies"  the  unbeliever  ("sets them apart  for  His  special
           attention") so expect a miracle unless they depart.

        Q. "What  is  the status of the believer left by an unbeliever  - must
           they remain single for the rest of their life?"
        A. No.   Paul said,  "The believer is not under bondage in such cases,
           but they've been called to peace" (1 Cor.7:15).   The believer  can
           stay single or be married to a Christian, whichever will bring them
           most peace of mind and freedom to serve God.

        Q. "But  isn't  that  divorce and  remarriage,  which  Christ  forbade
           because it would be committing adultery?"
        A. No.  In 1 Corinthians 7:39 and 40,  Paul wrote, "A wife is bound as
           long as her husband lives;  but if her husband is dead, she is free
           to  be  married to whom she wishes,  only in the Lord."   The  only
           reason  the  unbeliever would depart is because they are  "dead  in
           their  trespasses  and  their  sins"  (Ephesians  2:1).   It  isn't
           remarriage  because  the  first  marriage was  invalidated  by  the
           unbeliever departing.

        Q. "But  what if it's a husband that has been left by  an  unbelieving
           wife?  Is he free to marry?"
        A. Absolutely.   1  Timothy 5:6 tells of a woman who "gives herself to
           wanton pleasure" and "is dead even while she lives."

        Q. "But what if the unbeliever should later be saved?  Would that mean
           the  believer who had been left would have to reunite with them  in
           marriage?"
        A. That  would  depend  on  the situation  and  the  desire  to  both.
           Obviously,  if either had remarried after their divorce, they would
           not  divorce  again to get back with each other.   And it  must  be
           remembered as has been mentioned before that when a person is "born
           again",  they  become  a new creature (2 Cor.5:17) and "all  things
           have become new" - so they are like one who has never been married.

        Q. "But what of the many beautiful stories I hear of the believers who
           hung on through years of a bad marriage and finally saw their mates
           saved?"
        A. I  applaud such commitment to marriage and so  does  God.   That's
           God's  will.   The Pauline privilege of divorce is granted only  in
           those cases where the unbeliever has departed.   By all means, stay
           married  if  possible  and  do your best to  be  a  good  mate.   A
           christian  will not seize upon this teaching and launch a  campaign
           to drive the unbeliever out!

        Q. "What if the believer realize they were causing much of the problem
           that caused the unbeliever to depart?"
        A. Then  they need to seriously repent before the Lord because they've
           grievously sinned,  and  they need to make whatever restitution  is
           possible  with the unbeliever who left.   At the very  least,  they
           need  to  let the unbeliever know they realize that  they,  as  the
           believer,  wrecked  the marriage.   They need to ask the unbeliever
           for forgiveness.   And since they have not fulfilled the  exemption
           qualifications  of 1 Corinthians 7:12-13,  reconciliation would  be
           the best solution.

        DIVORCE IS A TERRIBLE THING

        Never  look  at  divorce as something that  you'd  want.   Divorce  is
        dreadful, painful:  it leaves ugly scars.  God hates it as much as the
        Christian  does.   It's  almost always hardest on the  children.   You
        can't tear down the family and build the Church because the Church  is
        a collection of families.  But, the Bible is clear, after all attempts
        at really following God's  Word on the believer's part have failed and
        the unbelievers walks out - 'let them go!'  ie.  Unbeliever plays up.

        THIRD,  GOD'S  WORD  SPEAKS TO CHRISTIANS MARRIED TO EACH  OTHER,  AND
        WE'VE  JUST  READ  WHAT  IT  SAYS,  "LET  THE  UNBELIEVER  DEPART"  (1
        Corinthians 7:15).

        There  is  only  one  ground  Christ  ever  gave  two  people  calling
        themselves  "Christians"  to divorce - Matthew 5:31-32,  "And  it  was
        said,  'Whoever divorces his wife,  let him give her a certificate  of
        dismissal;  but  I  say to you that every one who divorces  his  wife,
        except  for  the  cause  of unchastity  (porneia),  makes  her  commit
        adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery."

        "PORNEIA" - THE DESTROYER OF MARRIAGE

        "Porneia" is the ugly Greek word that gets variously translated in our
        English  New  Testaments  by the  words  "unchastity",  "adultery"  or
        "fornication".   None  of  these  English  words  adequately  describe
        "porneia".   "Porneia" is a Greek word that comes from an ancient root
        meaning "to sell" and it was used of selling slaves for the purpose of
        prostitution.

        Though  "porneia"  includes such unchaste things  as  fornication  and
        adultery,  it  is  best defined as "whoredom".   "Porneia"  goes  much
        further than a tragic,  foolish,  temporary, adulterous affair because
        "porneia"   includes   an  attitude.    We  get  our   English   words
        "pornography",  "pornographic",  or  "porno" from this wretched  Greek
        word.

        "Porneia"  embraces  every kind of perverted sex sin that's  possible.
        It represents an immoral mind.

        "The  Bible  is  a very sexual book.   Many stories  and  examples  of
        spiritual  truth  involve  some  aspect  of  sex.   (See  Gen.19:1-29;
        Jud.19:1-30;  2 Sam.11:1-27;  Hosea; Rom.1:18-32).  God's intention is
        that  one man is the only sexual provision for one  woman,  and  vice-
        versa.   God  has  specifically condemned and forbidden the  following
        sexual acts:

        1. ADULTERY  - the  willful  violation of the  marriage  contract  and
           covenant  by either partner by engaging in intercourse or  desiring
           to be with a third party:  extra-marital intercourse.  (Matt.15:18-
           20; Ezek.16 & 23, Ex.20:14; LEV.20:10; Prov.6:23-25; Matt.5:27-32).

        2. FORNICATION  - illicit sexual intercourse with an unmarried  woman;
           pre-marital  coitus,   sexual  lewdness  (1  Cor.6,9,15;  Ex.22:16;
           Deut.22:28-29).

        3. HOMOSEXUALITY  - sexual relationship with a person of the same sex;
           lesbian,  gay  or bisexual.  (Gen.19:1-13;  1  Cor.6:9;  Lev.18:22,
           20:11; Rom.1:27-28; Jud.19:22).

        4. SODOMY  - unnatural  sexual  relations,   especially  between  male
           persons;  having sexual relations with any animal; sexual acts with
           animals. (Lev.18:23; 20:15-16; Deut.27:21; Ex.22:19).

        5. INCEST  - (Intercourse)  with  a  forbidden  person,   ie.  mother,
           stepmother,   sister,   half-sister,  grand-daughter,  daughter  of
           stepmother, aunt, wife of an uncle, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law,
           with  a woman and her daughter,  or a woman and her  grand-daughter
           (the  woman participant is also considered  guilty).  (Lev.18:6-18;
           20:11-21; Deut.27:20-23).

        6. RAPE  - the  act  of forcing a woman  to  have  sexual  intercourse
           against her will.   (Jud.19:22-30;  2 Sam.13:1-29;  Deut.22:25-26).
           (NOTICE:   the  Bible does not include the possibility of a husband
           "raping" his own wife.)

        7. LASCIVIOUSNESS - unbridled lust, lacking in moral restraint; sexual
           lewdness;    excessive,    unrestrained,    malicious    sexuality.
           (Prov.2:16-18;   5:3-13,   7:6-27;  Gal.5:19-21).   (Lasciviousness
           always refers to sex outside marriage.)

        SPIRITUAL PORNEIA

        There  is also another kind of "porneia" - "spiritual"  porneia.   The
        husband or wife,  whether they claim to be a Christian or not, commits
        spiritual  porneia by giving themself to the occult or to a  religious
        cult  or false religion.   It includes joining or giving one's time to
        study for the purpose of getting life's answers from:

         ...Bahai
         ...Jehovah's Witnesses
         ...Islam
         ...Unification Church
         ...Unity
         ...Transcendental Meditation
         ...Children of God
         ...Christian Science (and all Science of Mind cults)

        Jesus  clearly said that "porneia" is total grounds for  divorce.   If
        God  gives such a person over to their lusts  (Rom.1:28),  He  doesn't
        expect the true believer not to give them up also.   And this teaching
        is  directly  given  to those who call themselves "people of  God"  or
        "Christian".   God never violates His Word.   He wouldn't say, "Be not
        unequally  yoked with unbelievers" (2 Cor.6:14) and then yoke  such  a
        marriage   together!    Because  God  has  "no  shadow  of  changing",
        (James 1:17), we know He will always honour His Word.

        Mark 10:9
          "What God has joined together" - that's Christian marriage.
        Mark 10:11-12 then refers to Christian marriage.

        Believers  can't divorce each other and marry someone else unless  one
        of them has involved himself or herself with "porneia".
        NOTE:   Jesus  said if "porneia" is the reason for divorce,  then  the
        woman doesn't involve herself in adultery if she remarries.   Why not?
        Because,  as  in the other exceptions for divorce,  the New  Testament
        brings,  "porneia"  nullifies the marriage as if the marriage had  not
        existed in the first place.   Thus,  a faithful believer who  suddenly
        finds  their mate caught up in "porneia" and divorces them because  of
        it,  is  free  to  marry another Christian.   The  first  marriage  is
        rendered invalid and not a marriage in God's eyes.

        Q. "Well,  can  a Christian marry a Christian who has divorced another
           Christian?"
        A. Absolutely not.   Jesus said in Luke 16:18, "Every one who divorces
           his  wife and marries another commits adultery."  Nothing could  be
           clearer.    Divorce  and  remarriage  are  never  allowed  for  any
           Christian.   However, the New Testament gives three situations that
           invalidate marriage, making the marriage as if it had never been.

           1. FIRST,  in Matthew 5:31,  Jesus said that if either mate entered
              into "porneia" the marriage is invalidated.
           2. SECOND, in 1 Corinthians 7:15, Paul said that if the unbelieving
              mate  leaves the believer after the believer has tried to  be  a
              good mate, the marriage is invalidated.
           3. THIRD,  if  a  marriage ended prior to salvation,  then  it  was
              washed away in the blood of Christ.

        God gives no other situations where divorce would be allowable.   If a
        person  divorces  for any other reason and then  remarries,  they  are
        committing  adultery and so is their second (or third,  etc!) marriage
        partner.

                                  GOD HATES DIVORCE

        The fact remains,  God hates divorce (Malachi 2:14).  He knows what it
        does to the Christian testimony;  He knows what it does to two  people
        and to their children;  He hates it.   Every attempt at reconciliation
        must be made.  But He has left three exceptions.

        LOVE IS ATTRACTIVE
        Worship,  true worship, in a church attracts crowds.  Love, true love,
        between a married couple attracts crowds.

                                 Kneel side by side,
                                   See eye to eye.
                                  Talk face to face,
                                  Walk hand in hand.

        GOD HATES 'COVENANT BREAKERS'
        Happiness  is not the main goal of the Christian.   Happiness is a by-
        product that comes through being obedient to the Lord.   The Christian
        marriage must include the understood clause, "For better or for worse,
        as long as the two of us shall live."

        In Malachi 2:14, marriage is called "a covenant".  In Romans 1:31, the
        Greek  word  for  "untrustworthy"  or  "conscienceless"  is  "covenant
        breakers",  and  it says that "God hates covenant breakers"  - because
        they can never be trusted to keep their word about anything.

        GOD WANTS TO BLESS YOUR MARRIAGE
        You may question certain aspects of God's will,  but on things is sure
        - it  is  God's will for your marriage to succeed,  and when  you  co-
        operate with Him, He'll move heaven and earth to see that it's done.

        Remember - if you decide to make a new world together, the material is
        ready; God made the first world out of chaos!

        REMEMBER - SUPERNATURALLY THERE'S A WAR ON!!!

        Can you see that "we are not fighting against people made of flesh and
        blood?"   So,  marriage problems are not simply problems  between  two
        humans.   We  are fighting the devil and his host with every  marriage
        problem.   As Dr.  Billy Graham recently said,  "I believe a whole new
        league of demons has been unleashed on this generation."

        Stop the devil - defeat his host - come together, in Jesus' Name.

        HOW TO END ALL ARGUMENTS
        When arguments arise, realize you've been attacked by the host of hell
        and stop.   Immediately husband, say to your wife, "I'm sorry, honey."
        As husband, you're the leader, so it's  up to  you to  lead in  prayer
        together. Begin by confessing that you've got a big mouth!  Confess to
        the  Lord that you shouldn't have been  fighting with your wife.  Hold
        her as you pray.  Promise the Lord in front of your wife that you will
        not decide on the issue you've been in controversy over until you hear
        from Him and get His Word on it.Then lay your hand on your wife's head
        and ask the Lord to wash away her  hurts in the blood of Christ.  Pray
        for God to give her peace.  After prayer, enjoy each other once again.

        Agreeing  prayer brings  forth the  strongest  power in the universe -
        Matthew 18:19 - Amplified Bible
          "Again I tell you, if two of you on earth agree (harmonize together,
          together make a symphony) about - anything and everything - whatever
          they  shall  ask,  it will come to pass and be done for them  by  my
          Father in heaven."

        Start singing!!!

        A TIP TO THE WISE
        If this is the first time you are beginning to pray out loud together,
        keep  your  prayers short.   This is #1 objection Christians  make  to
        praying with their spouse - "Their prayers are too long!"  Also, never
        preach  at your mate and call it "praying!"  If you are going to "tell
        God on them," don't do it while they are within earshot!!!

                                END of STUDY TWO