Bid and sell for free at http://auctions.yahoo.com
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Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 00:42:12 -0800
From: Movieman <movieman@netcom.ca>
Subject: [MV] The Sleepy Hollow World Is Not Enough reviews
Bond, James Bond is back for his 19th adventure in espionage. First off I
must say that I have not seen too many Bond flicks...I don't know why
really...so I am not really too biased in favour of the Bond
movies. Anyway - this film was definitely the best Bond film that I have
seen! It is much better than Goldeneye and Tomorrow Never Dies as World
has a better story that does not become too convoluted and confusing. If I
found myself at all confused about something going on in the movie - so was
Bond. Therefore Bond and the audience discovers the solutions at the same
time - very entertaining! I have noticed in the past that Bond movies
usually have a loose plot that involves wacky locations so as to
incorporate even wackier action sequences. In World there are many wacky
locations and crazy action sequences but here they seem to fit and flow
together so that you don't even notice. The humour quotient is very high
in World as well - which jived with me but might irk some as the puns are
fast and plentiful! This is a perfect film to check out if you are in the
mood to 'escape' for a couple of hours. A fantastic 87%!
Sleepy Hollow seemed destined to be a perfect film - the creatively
original Tim Burton, the talented Johnny Depp and Christina Ricci, the
tunes of Danny Elfman and from a script by the guy who wrote Seven. My
expectations were pretty high which is why I only enjoyed this movie
instead of worshipping it. The mood and atmosphere of Hollow are wonderful
and muted. The performances are superb - mostly from Depp as Ricci's role
is not explored that deeply. There is no real chemistry between them
however as the film centred around Depp and his inhibitions. At times
moody and at other times comedic - independently entertaining but not as a
cohesive whole. Enjoyable but doesn't really stick to your ribs. 74%.
If you had a nickel for each Movieman review you read then maybe you would
have enough money to catch these flicks...
Being John Malkovich - 92%
The World Is Not Enough - 87%
The Messenger - 82% (good action but not as much heart as
Braveheart)
Sleepy Hollow - 74%
Dogma - 72%
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 18:03:23 -0700
From: "The Reporter" <gregorys@xmission.com>
Subject: [MV] Movie News - 11/23/99
LOS ANGELES (AP) - The Motion Picture Association of America has
decided to offer moviegoers more guidance, requiring newspaper and
billboard ads to include the reasons a film is given a G, PG, PG-13
or R rating. The decision by the MPAA, which has authority over the
movie advertising of its studio members, follows criticism over the
way it determines ratings, Daily Variety reported Friday. The MPAA
traditionally has offered such expanded ratings to various
publications and posted them on its Web site, but has never mandated
that they be printed in ads, Daily Variety reported.
Under the new guidelines, for example, "The Bone Collector," would be
"rated R for strong violent content including grisly images, and for
language," while "Eyes Wide Shut" would be "rated R for strong sexual
content, nudity, language and some drug-related material." A message
could not be left today at the MPAA's Los Angeles headquarters
because the office was closed. A telephone message left at MPAA
President Jack Valenti's office in Washington, D.C. was not
immediately returned.
-=> * <=-
NEW YORK (AP) - Arnold Schwarzenegger takes on another mighty foe in
his latest action film, but the actor says the sparks really fly when
he argues with his wife, Maria Shriver. "Maria's very strong-willed,
and I am, too," Schwarzenegger said in an interview in Sunday's
edition of the New York Daily News. "When we have disagreements,
people run out of the room." In the upcoming thriller, "End of Days,"
which opens Wednesday, the actor finds an on-screen villain in the
devil. "I've fought every conceivable enemy," he said. "Here was a
chance to fight someone really big." It's a departure from the comic
book-like violence that has been his hallmark. "We should have a new
message that we should get rid of the devil through faith and peace,"
he said. "At first, I have faith in my Glock 9. But in the end, I
realize it doesn't work. I have to find an alternative."
-=> * <=-
LOS ANGELES (Billboard) - Mr. Mudd, the production company launched
last year by actor-producer John Malkovich and producers Lianne
Halfon and Russell Smith, has put forward an ambitious 15-film
production slate. The lineup includes Malkovich's feature directing
debut and projects budgeted anywhere between $100,000-$20 million.
Among the more high-profile offerings is "Art School Confidential,"
which Drew Barrymore is attached to star in and produce with Mr.
Mudd. Budgeted at $15 million-$20 million, the project is based on
Dan Clowes' graphic novel of the same name. Malkovich, who is
collecting critical kudos for his performance in Spike Jonze's "Being
John Malkovich," said he plans to make his feature film directorial
debut next spring with "The Dancer Upstairs," a police thriller based
on Nicholas Shakespeare's novel.
-=> * <=-
LOS ANGELES (Billboard) - Jennifer Lopez is back in talks for the
starring role in Warner Bros. drama "Angel Eyes" after exiting the
project last month. Insiders say both sides are hoping "Eyes" will be
Lopez's next project after Destination Films' "The Wedding Planner,"
which begins shooting in January. Lopez originally exited "Eyes"
after what both sides said were miscommunications. The studio and
star were only $1 million apart from her $8 million asking price. The
film tells the story of a female cop who bonds with a man coping with
the death of his wife and son.
-=> * <=-
LOS ANGELES (Billboard) - Screenwriter-producer Bo Zenga will make
his directorial debut with the college comedy "In Search of Holden
Caulfield" for Abandon Entertainment. Zenga and Stacy Codikow ("Under
the Hula Moon") will produce the $10 million-budgeted project, with
Abandon's Karen Lauder and Marcus Ticotin serving as executive
producers. Written by Fran Kaufer from a story by Zenga, "Caulfield"
is the story of Miles Ashton, who is expelled during his freshman
year of college and doomed to a military-school future. During the
week it takes to drive back home, Miles makes the most of his last
days of freedom and finds himself on the same strange odyssey as his
hero from "The Catcher in the Rye," Holden Caulfield.
-=> * <=-
LOS ANGELES (Billboard) - 20th Century Fox's luck just does not seem
to change in Thailand. Using stern language ahead of the scheduled
release of "Anna and the King," Thailand's censorship board has
branded the film "insensitive" after viewing teasers supplied by Fox
and will not allow the trailers to be screened for the public.
However, Fox International president Jim Gianopolous said he is
optimistic that the film will ultimately be accepted by Thai censors.
"Anna and the King" is set for release next month. "They have asked
to see the entire film now that it is completed," Gianopolous said.
"The (promotional) material will be adapted to whatever is granted
(by the censors). The film is very reverential, and we are hoping
that when they view it in its entirety they will not have any
specific objections." Gianopolous said he expects that the censorship
board will screen the film within the next two weeks. For now, the
censors have said "Anna" is historically inaccurate and that, for
example, the way one of the film's stars, Chow Yun-Fat, wields his
sword is all wrong.
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------------------------------
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 16:05:02 -0700
From: "The Reporter" <gregorys@xmission.com>
Subject: [MV] Movie News - 11/24/99
LOS ANGELES (Billboard) - In a unique chapter in show business
annals, "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace" will return to
U.S. movie theaters for a one-week run starting Dec. 3, with 100% of
the proceeds going to charity. This is the first time a film's entire
box office - at least for the week in question - will go to
charitable organizations, with the specific charities to be chosen by
local theater owners. Some 179 charities will benefit from the
revenue generated by 755 movie theaters in 349 cities in the U.S. and
Canada. Among the charities to benefit will be the Big Brother and
Big Sister organizations, the Fulfillment Fund, St. Jude's, the
American Red Cross and Muscular Dystrophy and Multiple Sclerosis
chapters in different states.
-=> * <=-
(InfoBeat) - The Thanksgiving tradition doesn't mean just candied
yams and football - it also means an early opening for movies that
studios hope will fill up theaters like stuffing in a Butterball.
This year is no exception, with the Wednesday bow of "End of Days"
and "Toy Story 2." "End of Days," the latest from Arnold
Schwarzenegger and director Peter Hyams, pits a security guard in a
pyrotechnic battle against Satan (Gabriel Byrne) who has come to
earth seeking a mate (Robin Tunney). Action fans have been waiting
almost two years for the latest from Schwarzenegger, who last
appeared as Mr. Freeze in 1997's "Batman & Robin." Meanwhile, if
R-rated fare isn't your thing, "Toy Story 2" promises the same kind
of fun and entertainment Pixar's 1995 hit brought. Tom Hanks returns
as the voice of Woody and Tim Allen is back as Buzz Lightyear. Joan
Cusack also joins the cast as Jessie the Cowgirl.
-=> * <=-
LOS ANGELES (Billboard) - James Bond launched his newest foreign
invasion over the weekend with a record domestic bow, Arnold
Schwarzenegger follows this coming weekend, and Bruce Willis
continues to draw big crowds as the overseas market warms up for the
holiday season. "The World Is Not Enough," the 19th installment in
the long-running James Bond series, tested the latest franchise
offering in two Asian markets and came away with gold stars in
territories that are opened earliest as part of the industry's effort
to thwart piracy. Singapore provided a four-day gross of $661,534 at
35 screens, representing United International Pictures'
fourth-biggest all-time opening in the market and the industry's
second-biggest this year. Malaysia, at the same time, brought in
$531,013 in four days at 49 screens, UIP's biggest weekend there
since "Tomorrow Never Dies," the previous Bond picture, and 39% ahead
of "GoldenEye."
As Universal brings out Schwarzenegger's "End of Days" for the
Thanksgiving holiday in the domestic market, Buena Vista
International, which holds the foreign rights, will tee off
simultaneously in seven markets, including Italy, Scandinavia, Mexico
and Argentina. Another action-thriller, Denzel Washington's "The Bone
Collector," in its offshore debut, winningly joined the fray over the
weekend with $1.1 million at 217 screens in Australia, toppling "The
Sixth Sense" from the top perch after six weeks.
-=> * <=-
LOS ANGELES (Billboard) - With first-time submissions from Bhutan,
Nepal and Tajikistan, a record-breaking 47 countries have submitted
films for Academy Award consideration for best foreign film. Among
the highest-profile submissions are Spanish director Pedro
Almodovar's "All About My Mother," released last weekend by Sony
Pictures Classics, which is also handling Denmark's "Mifune" from
Soren Kragh-Jacobsen. USA Films is also handling two submissions:
"Rosetta," a drama by the Belgian directing team Luc and Jean-Pierre
Dardenne and "Three Seasons" from Vietnamese director Tony Bui, which
USA released this year under its October Films label. The first
submission from Bhutan - Khyentse Norbu's "The Cup," a comedy about a
young boy who gets a television to watch the World Cup and
destabilizes an entire community of monks in the process, will be
released by Fine Line Features.
-=> * <=-
LOS ANGELES (Billboard) - Academy Award-winning actor Kevin Spacey is
in final negotiations to star in Bel Air Entertainment's "Pay It
Forward," with director Mimi Leder ("Deep Impact") expected to begin
shooting the drama in mid-February on location in Arizona and Los
Angeles. Spacey, now appearing in DreamWorks' "American Beauty,"
would be the first actor to come aboard the project, which is based
on the novel of the same name by Catherine Ryan Hyde. The book
revolves around Reuben St. Clair (Spacey), a physically and
emotionally scarred social studies teacher who assigns his class to
think of an idea for world change and put it into action. One of his
students, a young boy whose single mom is struggling with alcohol,
takes the assignment to heart by committing random acts of kindness
and hopes his idea will catch on. In fact, his concept of doing a
favor for someone in advance snowballs into a national phenomenon.
-=> * <=-
LOS ANGELES (Billboard) - In a pre-emptive bid, MGM has paid low-
against mid-six figures for Greg Glienna and Pete Schwaba's comedy
spec script "A Guy Thing," which David Ladd will produce. "A Guy
Thing," a comedy of errors, is described as "There's Something About
Mary" meets "After Hours." The script tells the story of a man who
thinks he has cheated on his fiancee when he wakes up with a woman in
his bed the morning after his bachelor party. Hi-jinks ensue when, in
preparation for the wedding the following week, he tries to cover up
the supposed betrayal. Glienna wrote, directed and starred in 1992
indie "Meet the Parents," which Universal is remaking.
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------------------------------
Date: Thu, 25 Nov 1999 00:06:37 -0800
From: Movieman <movieman@netcom.ca>
Subject: [MV] End of Days review
I love Arnold movies. I especially love to see Arnold movies on opening
day with the rest of the hooting and hollering Arnold fans. Total Recall,
Terminator 1 and 2, True Lies, Running Man etc... Unfortunately this is
not an Arnold movie. This is a poorly written film that has some style but
no substance. Director Peter Hyams gives us a very dark and shadowy Arnold
who is busy brooding throughout the film instead of kicking some Satan
Ass. There are some action scenes that pass as amusing - but the
story-line seems overdone, faded and refried. The closest the audience got
into this flick was when it resembled an Arnold movie - some quick one
liners or some really cool action scenes - but they are few and far
between. I will pass this movie with a 62% as it was not the worst flick I
ever saw but I cannot really recommend this one to anyone...I doubt that
this is the end of days for Arnold though as his next flick seems to be
more sci-fi as he gets himself cloned - yay!
If you like big name stars - instead of Arnold check out the movies that
star these folks:
John Malkovich - 92%
Pierce Brosnan - 87%
John Malkovich and Dustin Hoffman and Milla Jovovich- 82%
Johnny Depp and Christina Ricci- 74%
Matt Damon and Ben Affleck - 72%
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------------------------------
Date: Thu, 25 Nov 1999 09:42:33 -0500 (EST)
From: maillist@moviejuice.com
Subject: [MV] MovieJuice! - END OF DAYS - The Tin Commandments
HAPPY TURKEY DAY
From MovieJuice.com!
********************
END OF DAYS - The Tin Commandments
by Mark Ramsey
November 24, 1999
<a href="http://www.moviejuice.com/1999/endofdays.htm">Click here for the full review!</a>
http://www.moviejuice.com/1999/endofdays.htm
The End of Days represents that single moment at the end of the millennium when man is destroyed, Satan's reign on Earth begins, and Felicity cuts her hair so short she should change her name to Philicity.
It's high time for the apocalypse: Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. The Devil, Arnold's most formidable foe since Red Sonja!
The Devil, you see, gets laid only once every thousand years just like Mulder and Scully. That's enough to make anyone cross! Lucifer must screw this certain chick in the "unholy hour" before midnight on New Year's Eve. I thought this was every guy's challenge!?
When informed about the Devil's need to get laid moments before the new millennium, media magnate Rupert Murdoch is said to have replied "If I'm flying across time zones, does that mean I can get laid 24 times?"
Thank Heaven they released this movie early enough to rack up $100 million bills before the new year hits and the dramatic arc is pretty much moot.
The Devil is Gabriel Byrne, recently converted from a priest in Stigmata. I remember encountering Gabriel in a hotel lobby once in LA. He was smoking - which I believe is illegal - and he peered at me with those steely eyes as I peered right back. "Aren't you Gabriel Byrne?" I thought to myself. "Aren't you nobody at all?" he thought to himself. We were both right.
"You're a choirboy compared to me," Arnold says to the Devil with an actorly flourish that comes only from years of weight training. "I've had bigga pansies dan you spot me at da gym! Ah you from Hell or from Helen, you pussy!" That Arnold: Nobody fires off a round better, and nobody fires off his mouth worse.
And what's a hero without a comic-relief best pal? Every Lethal Weapon needs its Joe Pesci, right? In this flick, it's Kevin Pollak who sits atop Arnold's AOL "Buddy" list. Kevin occupies the Tom Arnold True Lies role but with few of Tom's hysterical one-liners - instead, he's one Comedy Stop up from Rob Schneider. "The Kevin-ator! Makin' Copies!"
So Satan must sire a child. Why? Because, according to trendmaster Faith Popcorn, demonic beings are entering a nesting phase during which the comforts of home and family are paramount. Haven't you watched Roman Polanski's Rosemary's Baby? Baby-making is what Devils do! Even Roman was busy having children when he wasn't "having" them.
Thanks to End of Days, I learned something new which, as far as I can tell, is nowhere in the Bible: The Devil's pee is flammable! That makes one too many undesirable side-effects of the Zone diet, if you ask me.
To find answers, Arnold enlists the help of roly-poly priest Rod Steiger. Rod, whose best-selling cookbook "In the Heat of the Oven" still reigns the New York Times best-seller list, took time from book-signings to cash in here and prove the maxim "they don't make 'em like they used to." When he's not waddling, Rod's upper torso is removed to reveal progressively tinier Rods hiding inside.
Needless to say, Rod is one of our great national treasures dating back to the time when national treasure was in Spanish doubloons.
"There are forces at work here which you couldn't possibly understand," says Rod, who's obviously talking about the geniuses at Universal who green-lit this turkey.
Robin Tunney is the object of the Devil's affection. She's marked with the sign of evil: "666" - which is "999" upside down "like in 1999!!" says one character in an orgasmic blast of convenient fact-fitting. That's why all this is happening now! And if you ask how "666" gets translated to "1999" Rod Steiger will sit on you.
Near the climax of this flick, Arnold experiences a profound spiritual realization - he gains faith to the tune of a Heavenly choir. All Arnold needs are some wayward street urchins, some lines from Going My Way, and a few songs by Irving Berlin. Now if the Devil can only raise Danny Kaye.
I'll give this flick its due: Lots of cool special effects here - especially in the subway where the trains look like the ones circling the tree on Christmas morning.
I'm afraid I missed large portions of this movie because my eyes spent so much time rolling. End of Days sure has its share of thrills and death defying stunts, but I'm afraid the weak script and ridiculous climax could have used just one more come-to-Jesus meeting.
********************
DONÆT FORGET TO VISIT MOVIEJUICE.COM!
Hey, kids, don't forget to visit the MovieJuice! Site at http://www.moviejuice.com. The pictures are half the fun (and sometimes more than half the laughs)!
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 30 Nov 1999 13:26:19 +0100
From: "Olaf Adam" <Olaf.Adam@ruhr-uni-bochum.de>
Subject: [MV] test
This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
- ------=_NextPart_000_0007_01BF3B36.7CB6F0E0
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Just checking if I'm still on the list, because I didn't get any =
messages in the last few days.
By the way, what do you make of Arnie's END OF DAYS? I'm still somewhat =
undecided, but it may very well be his best since the first TERMINATOR.
OLAF
- ------=_NextPart_000_0007_01BF3B36.7CB6F0E0
Content-Type: text/html;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
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Date: Tue, 30 Nov 1999 20:06:01 -0700
From: "The Reporter" <gregorys@xmission.com>
Subject: [MV] Movie News - 11/30/99
LOS ANGELES (AP) - James Bond and Arnold Schwarzenegger had the guns,
but "Toy Story 2" was the real wrecking crew, destroying box-office
records over the long holiday weekend, according to estimates Sunday.
Disney and Pixar's animated tale of talking toys debuted nationwide
with $80.8 million from Wednesday through Sunday, shattering the
previous Thanksgiving record of $45.7 million set last year by "A
Bug's Life," produced by the same studios. Schwarzenegger's "End of
Days," about an ex-cop battling Satan, opened in third place with $31
million over the five days, behind last weekend's top movie, the Bond
flick "The World Is Not Enough," which grossed $35 million in its
second weekend.
"We rolled right over Arnold and the devil," said Larry Gleason,
president of worldwide distribution for MGM, which released the Bond
film. The movie has grossed $76.3 million in 10 days. The weekend's
other big release was "Flawless," starring Robert De Niro as a stroke
victim who takes singing lessons from a drag queen. It opened in 12th
place with $2 million over five days.
-=> * <=-
LOS ANGELES (AP) - It would be no surprise if a mega star had one,
two, maybe even three movies out at the same time. But for an
independent film actor like Philip Seymour Hoffman, it is. The
32-year-old actor, who often plays less-than-desirable characters,
has a trio of just-released, or about-to-be-released, big screen
credits. Critics have lauded him for displaying a unique sensitivity
and being willing to go to behavioral extremes. "You explore, but
you're also paying homage to a type of human being," he told the
Daily News of Los Angeles in Friday's editions. His newest feat
includes the just-released "Flawless" where he plays a New York drag
queen hired by his homophobic neighbor - played by Robert De Niro -
to give him singing lessons as post-stroke speech therapy. "I was a
basket case," Hoffman said of playing opposite De Niro.
Hoffman's second movie "Magnolia" is due Dec. 17. Hoffman plays a
visiting nurse who discovers more about himself while spending a day
with a dying TV producer, played by Jason Robards. His third
big-screen conquest includes stars Gwyneth Paltrow and Matt Damon in
"The Talented Mr. Ripley," in which Hoffman portrays a rich American
youth enjoying a fling in 1950's Italy.
-=> * <=-
LOS ANGELES (Billboard) - Haley Joel Osment, the boy who spooked
audiences in "The Sixth Sense," is in final negotiations to star
opposite Kevin Spacey in Bel-Air Entertainment's "Pay It Forward."
The drama is expected to begin shooting in Arizona and Los Angeles in
mid-February with director Mimi Leder at the helm. Written by Leslie
Dixon from a novel of the same name by Catherine Ryan Hyde, "Pay It
Forward" tells the story of a physically and emotionally scarred
social studies teacher (Spacey) who assigns his class to think of an
idea for world change and put it into action. One of his students
(Osment), whose single mom is struggling with alcohol, takes the
assignment to heart by committing random acts of kindness, hoping his
idea will catch on.
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 30 Nov 1999 23:16:46 -0800
From: Movieman <movieman@netcom.ca>
Subject: [MV] Toy Story 2 review
The toys are back. Who didn't love the first Toy Story with it's nostalgic
charm and it's all ages appeal? The same question can be asked of the
sequel. It is so difficult to find a sequel that develops the characters
further than the original did as well as giving us a brand new story that
is not just a re-hash of the first one. Toy Story 2 did all this as well
as giving us many laughs and some touching moments! I think I'm going to
look for my old discarded toys now - toys have feelings too you
know!:-) Anyway - definitely go check out TS2 - no matter how old you are
- - you will be highly entertained! A 91%.
Also see these other fall delights...
Being John Malkovich - 92%
Toy Story 2 - 91%
The World Is Not Enough - 87%
The Messenger - 82% (good action but not as much heart as
Braveheart)
Sleepy Hollow - 74%
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------------------------------
Date: Sat, 4 Dec 1999 16:50:49 -0500 (EST)
From: maillist@moviejuice.com
Subject: [MV] MovieJuice! - ADVANCE - THE GREEN MILE - ShawHanks Redemption
THE GREEN MILE û ShawHanks Redemption
by Mark Ramsey
December 4, 1999
<a href="http://www.moviejuice.com/1999/greenmile.htm">Click here for the full review!</a>
http://www.moviejuice.com/1999/greenmile.htm
So Jason Priestly spins his wheels into a utility pole. "I was not drunk, I was trying to avoid a deer," said Jason, pointing to the antlers on an empty 12-pack of Moosehead. Despite Jason's repeated denials, good-humored LAPD officials flicked lighters igniting Jason's breath and creating such devastation, the Japanese media rushed from the briefing room screaming "Godzilla!"
The Green Mile is the movie that will take your mind off the coming Jodie Foster love yarn, Anna and the King, short for Anna and the King of Sure-Fire Box-Office Disappointments.
What is the "Green Mile"? It's that emerald-streaked final stretch between death row and the electric chair. Okay, it's really the Green 30-or-so-feet, but everything's bigger on the big screen.
This was the Steven King book published in several installments a few years back. No breaks in this movie, though. You could walk a Green Mile before this flick breaks a sweat. My advice: Bring a toothbrush and a blow-dryer.
The Green Mile is also a pseudonym for the box-office wake of that Cinematic Tsunami called "Tom Hanks." Hanks, who recently launched a website (www.iamnotjimmystewart.com), is a death row guard with jowls so spacious, Steven King sent a family of Maine Lobsters to vacation there during the shoot. Tom doesn't floss, he drops a line and reels 'em in!
Tom meets prisoner John Coffey - The Incredible Hulk after hormone replacement therapy and one anger management class too many. Docile John Coffey, meek as a mouse, is accused of murdering a couple kids and now must burn, baby, burn.
Speaking of a mouse, meet "Mr. Jingles!" He's a rodent who does tricks, just like Charlie Sheen, and he gets more screen time than Gary Sinise and more dialogue than Arnold Schwarzenegger.
This tale is so homespun Steven King must have crafted it with a knitting needle, like a pair of baby booties. Does admission come with a recipe for Toll House Cookies? Should I bring a pitchfork and some Osh-Kosh overalls to the screening? Any chance a blue-ribbon prize will go to that swine sitting on the aisle? Are Donny and Marie playing the fair this year?
You know the spirit of Mayberry is in the air when the audience finds tepid lines funny, like "I think this boy's cheese slid off his cracker." Ha ha.
Even the electric chair is called "Old Sparkly," which coincidentally is also the nickname for Jack Lemmon!
There's something magical about this John Coffey. John grabs Tom by the nuts and cures him of a wicked urinary infection, thus facilitating the most satisfying whiz Tom's had since he emptied Hoover Dam in A League of Their Own.
John takes in all the evil, digests it into computer animated pixels, and spits it out of his mouth where it curls around the room and dissolves back into scores of Silicon Graphics CPU's. There, all evil big-budget FX finally hides, waiting for Jan De Bont to summon the Dark Lord and cast one of his diabolical summertime spells.
The main man at the prison is James Cromwell. Have you noticed the trend? There's only one old-guy supporting actor in movies and it's always James Cromwell.
This movie is from Frank Darabont who also wrote The Shawshank Redemption. And though this movie is very good, it's no Shawshank. Then again, what is? Evidently, Frank is the designated driver for Steven King 30's Prison flicks.
John's miraculous healing power stands in stark contrast to death row and the brutal reality of the electric chair. You'll never think of capital punishment in quite the same way after seeing a shattering fry-gone-haywire: Blood and sparks and fire explode from a quaking figure bound in a revolting cacophony of torture. Yuck.
The magic in John literally infects others with life in the very place where life yields all hope to death. Man's goodness to man, man's evil to man. In high school English class they call that "irony." And it makes for a very memorable movie. Let's just hope your eyes are drier than Jason Priestly.
Steven King may be a cheeseball, but he spins one hell of a yarn.
Knitting needles and all.
********************
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Date: Sun, 5 Dec 1999 15:27:29 EST
From: PTHOMASO@aol.com
Subject: [MV] Movie of the bible?
Is anyone familiar with a movie that starts at the beginning of the bible and
goes through the whole bible? I would like to see one that starts with
Genesis and goes through Revelations.
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Date: 05 Dec 99 14:45:06 -0800
From: garageinc@earthlink.net
Subject: [MV] Gladiator
The Trailer for Gladiator will be playing in front of Galaxy Quest. Just
thought I mention it in case anyone cares....
Jackie
"Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, was
just a freight train coming your way"
Metallica - "No Leaf Clover"
"Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, was just a freight train coming your way."
Metallica - "No Leaf Clover"
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Date: 05 Dec 99 14:53:34 -0800
From: garageinc@earthlink.net
Subject: [MV] X-Men Trailer
Also, rumor has it that the teaser trailer for the upcoming xmen movie, will be playing in front
of Bicentennial Man.
Jackie
"Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, was just a freight train
coming your way"
Metallica - "No Leaf Clover"
"Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, was just a freight train coming your way."
Metallica - "No Leaf Clover"
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Date: Mon, 6 Dec 1999 09:49:09 -0700
From: "Olga y Fran" <franyolga@att.net>
Subject: [MV] Date: Mon, 6 Dec 1999 10:47:20 -0600
Can you guess which movies are going to be in the Oscar's?
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Date: Mon, 06 Dec 1999 15:21:09 -0500
From: Mel Eperthener <bcassidy@usaor.net>
Subject: Re: [MV] Date: Mon, 6 Dec 1999 10:47:20 -0600
At 09.49 AM 06/12/1999 -0700, you wrote:
>
>
>Can you guess which movies are going to be in the Oscar's?
Most aren't even in theatres, yet:-)
My picks:
Being John Malkovich
Man in the Moon
The Green Mile
Bicentennial Man
Run Lola Run (we can only hope)
Subject to change. At least let them all be released, before holding me to
anything:-)
Regards,
- --Mel
- --Mel Eperthener
president, Gowanna Multi-media Pty
Please support the endeavour
of a friend and fellow Australian.
Political Corrections by Michael Jaymes Cassidy
http://www.angelfire.com/ma/politicalmusings
______________________________________________
"I worry about my child and the Internet all the time,
even though she's too young to have logged on yet. Here's
what I worry about. I worry that 10 or 15 years from now,
she will come to me and say 'Daddy, where were you when they
took freedom of the press away from the Internet?'"
Years ago, I navigated past resolute Christian picketers to see a forgettable, "blasphemous" movie called Hail Mary. Unfortunately, one of the picketers had tossed a stink-bomb into the theater, making this the smelliest movie I'd ever seen.
Until now.
Bicentennial Man is the story of how a big star keeps his career alive by committing to blubbery and lifeless yet theoretically heartwarming fare every year right around the holidays.
Why is Robin Williams so fixated on feel-good fortune cookie cuisine? Will he be stuffing himself down chimneys on Christmas eve the way he stuffs endless gobs of shmaltz down our throats?
Setting: The future. Virtually all Blacks, Asians, and Hispanics have mysteriously disappeared, thus explaining the alarming rise in the popularity of Opera and Classical Music. Robots with the proper BMI/ASCAP clearance play "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" with one-button access. Chess has supplanted the Regis Philbin Millionnaire game as America's favorite pastime. In this version of the future, Public TV has obviously conquered the Earth.
Robin's a robot, an "NDR-114 Domestic," a household bot-Friday, and a copyright infringement waiting-to-happen on "Twiki" from the old Buck Rogers TV series. "Bee-dee-bee-dee-bee-dee-'Mr. Happy'." Bee-dee-bee-dee-bee-dee-'CarpΘ-Diem'." Picture Mrs. Doubtfire with a titanium apron and hair the texture of William Shatner's.
This robot's metallic face is even tighter than old trampoline-cheeks herself, Ms. Joan Rivers, who rents her face out as the snare drum for the Goo Goo Dolls when she's not judging fashion faux pas on E!. Many a Gold-medal Olympic skater has trained on that face.
I love the way parts of Robin the Robot are see-through. Is this the i-Mac model? Thanks to his Duracell copper-top terminals, he can power the world's biggest smoke detector so feel free to yell "fire" in the theater, kids. It's Mr. "Don't See-3PO" to you and me.
Every time Robin moves, he whirs and hums and buzzes. It's as if the dishwasher had legs.
Strangely, Robot Robin has a smaller nose and a bigger ass than his real-life version. And if his big juvenile eyes were any more doe-like he'd need a puffy tail and a playmate named "Thumper."
Among other things, Bicentennial Man is a euthanasia comedy. Now that's something different! Who doesn't want to be unplugged by the end of this movie? Lots of folks grow old and die in this flick, and I'm not feeling too well myself.
Robot Robin yearns to be human, because humanity means he would possess the depth and richness that this movie utterly lacks. Is Robin the Robot a person or just a form of property? And if he's a form of property, can you get your money back under your state's lemon laws?
Can you?
This movie is a sunken hull encrusted with coral. How did Robin find this role? Did he have to enlist the assistance of famed underwater explorer Robert Ballard? Will we be seeing "The Search for Bicentennial Man" in an upcoming National Geographic Explorer special?
Gradually, Robin the Robot undergoes operations that make him resemble a slightly less-inhuman looking "Beverly Hills" Robin with an epic tan and impossibly chestnut-tinted hair. Beverly Robin's people will gladly get back to your people.
When Robin's human-wish is finally fulfilled and he grows old, he's a dead ringer for the great and powerful Wizard of Oz, making me wish for a hot-air balloon and a quick whisk off to Kansas.
Robin's surgeon is mad scientist Oliver Platt. Ollie's a wonderful actor, but if he gets any bigger, they'll have to install a public school system and a Coca-Cola bottling plant on his ass. Didn't Macy's float Ollie past Times Square on Thanksgiving? This guy's his own state, and thanks to this movie, a sorry state it is.
The heart here, along with the intelligence, is of a strictly artificial variety. Your head will pound before your heart does.
Bicentennial Man is crusty, dusty, and musty. Metal or flesh-and-bone, Robin's rusty.
********************
DONÆT FORGET TO VISIT MOVIEJUICE.COM!
Hey, kids, don't forget to visit the MovieJuice! Site at http://www.moviejuice.com. The pictures are half the fun (and sometimes more than half the laughs)!
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