Bid and sell for free at http://auctions.yahoo.com
[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
[ movies" (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 04:05:48 -0500
From: mhill@Dominionsc.com
Subject: Re: [MV] Looking for the movie...
Searching for Bobby Fisher
[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
[ movies" (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 04:06:34 -0500
From: mhill@Dominionsc.com
Subject: Re: [MV] Looking for the movie...
Also 2 Football movies: Brian's Song & Something for Joey
[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
[ movies" (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 08:23:41 -0500 (EST)
From: maillist@moviejuice.com
Subject: [MV] MovieJuice! - DOGMA - Pious Riot
DOGMA - Pious Riot
by Mark Ramsey
<a href="http://www.moviejuice.com/1999/dogma.htm">Click here for the full review!</a>
http://www.moviejuice.com/1999/dogma.htm
November 12, 1999
Celebrate Catholicism: WOW! week at MovieJuice.com with the release of Catholic epic Joan of Arc and Catholic satire DOGMA.
Luc Besson's Joan is the kind of thing you'd expect from a Frenchman who dwells obsessively on cologne and hair care products. Believe me, the only reason this movie should open wide is to say "Ahhhhh."
How can we expect supermodel as supermartyr Milla to draw a crowd when she can't draw her name? Is an off-camera P.A. feeding her letters? "Deux 'L's? Iz dees some cruel treek?"
By the time Dustin Hoffman pops up in a character role, get me the Captain Hook. My Tootsies are out of here.
DOGMA, meanwhile, is the controversial and long-awaited newbie from the director of Clerks and Chasing Amy.
There's scads of outrageously funny stuff in DOGMA which easily makes it worth seeing. But DOGMA is full of muses and seraphims and demons and prophets and scions and more Catholic jargon than you can shake a Eucharist at. Some of the dialogue is so densely foggy, the audience had to land at a different airport and take a bus to the theater.
Watch! As the audience's heads whir and spin in spontaneous stimulus-overload convulsions as the rat-a-tat-tat theology impacts the crowd like so much spiritual shrapnel. What are Matt Damon and Ben Affleck talking about, anyway? And they want to go to New Jersey why?
There's a loophole in Catholic dogma, it seems, that will allow fallen angels Matt and Ben back into Heaven, if not back to Gwyneth's house for high tea. Problem is, it will mean the end of all existence and perhaps even the end of The Real World reruns.
So heroes Linda Fiorentino, Chris Rock, and hilarious stoners Jay and Silent Bob must stop Matt and Ben or face oblivion (which means, Jay, you're not getting laid).
Alan Rickman returns from the cinematic dead to show once again what a brilliant comic actor he is. In contrast, brilliant comic Chris Rock shows he can't act worth a damn. Chris's funny stuff is fierce, but the straight dialogue brings to mind visions of high school theater and SNL cue-cards. Willow, you've met your match!
DOGMA is a modestly budgeted affair with little pretense. Yes, the effects are cheesy and intentionally so. Case and point: The "Shit Demon," who's just seconds away from stomping Japanese doll-houses and kicking Hot Wheels.
You've probably heard by now that Alanis Morrisette plays God. Or at least she was God - until her divine sophomore slump. Who would have guessed the Heavenly Father is such a spaz in concert? Picture Mother Nature clothed by Betsey Johnson. Is this the God of Abraham or the God of Birkenstock and bulk foods? Alanis has the body of Christ all right, and I'm hoping she keeps it to herself.
When satire and religion mix, controversy follows. Witness this recent missive from the Catholic League to Lions Gate, the movie's distributors:
How dare you besmirch the name of Job himself? As we like to say at the Catholic League, "Job is job one." Where do we begin to detail our objections to your movie, DOGMA:
1. The notion of a 13th apostle - and a negroid with an HBO deal at that - is patently offensive.
2. The suggestion that Christ was Black is preposterous - if this were true, he would have been the son of a minstrel, not a carpenter.
3. The idea that God is a woman - let alone one who wears a tutu, gesticulates like a retard, and doesn't sing Country - is likewise repellent. God is a man with a white beard and a flowing robe, like Laurence Olivier in Clash of the Titans. And he has a bad case of toenail fungus, but that's neither here nor there.
4. British actor Alan Rickman plays "the voice of God." Ridiculous! Brits don't go to Heaven, only white people do.
5. You have Ben Affleck and Matt Damon playing angels who are buddies. These are angels - heavenly messengers - not Mel Gibson and Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon!
Perhaps if you could cast that nice Olivia Newton John in one of your upcoming features, we'll actually see the movie before issuing our objections. Until then, we don't need to feel the flames of Hell to know our everlasting souls can get burned!
Sincerely hoping that President Roosevelt outlaws this picture,
In the climactic face-off between good and evil, Ben and Matt don Roman-style breastplates with stainless steel nipples. With wings unfurled, Ben looks like the Hawkman float at the Pride parade.
DOGMA is a riot, even if it's a notch short of heavenly.
Copyright 1999 Mark Ramsey. All rights reserved. NO PORTION MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR.
********************
DONÆT FORGET TO VISIT MOVIEJUICE.COM!
Hey, kids, don't forget to visit the MovieJuice! Site at http://www.moviejuice.com. The pictures are half the fun (and sometimes more than half the laughs)!
********************
TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS LIST:
DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL! Just go to http://www.moviejuice.com and follow the directions at the bottom of the left hand side. It's very easy. NOTE: YOUR NAME CANNOT BE REMOVED FROM THE LIST UNLESS YOU UNSUBSCRIBE USING THE EMAIL ADDRESS YOU REGISTERED WITH). And don't write me lots of mean-spirited crap. I won't read it.
********************
IF YOUR LINES AREN'T WRAPPINGà
Your browser and/or email client (why DO they call it that?) has a setting called "Wrap Long Lines." Select it!
[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
[ movies" (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 08:14:22 CST
From: "Wade S." <wds9974@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: [MV] Looking for the movie...
If you're an emotional female, Beaches will do it to you. Terms of
Endearment probably will, too. As a guy, the closest I've come to sincere
tears is with The Shawshank Redemption, an amazing story of hope.
True, Brian's Song is a serious tear-jerker, too.
>From: mhill@Dominionsc.com
>Reply-To: movies@lists.xmission.com
>To: movies@lists.xmission.com
>Subject: Re: [MV] Looking for the movie...
>Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 04:06:34 -0500
>
>Also 2 Football movies: Brian's Song & Something for Joey
