Yay! Finally Disney has made a movie that is as fun as The Big Three
(Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin). This film is so much
fun! The animation is outstanding as Tarzan zips around the jungle; the
storyline is familiar but still fresh and funny; and the music is very
hummable! They took a different spin with the music this time around -
instead of characters singing the songs - Phil Collins sings them all as
background music - so this way we don't have any meerkats or warthogs
singing. This was a welcome change for - as long as you don't mind Phil -
which I don't. I was in googily awe throughout the entire movie - it's
fun!! I have to give it a whopping 94%!!! Go see it - there are definitely
no age boundaries for this movie.
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Date: Sun, 20 Jun 1999 17:23:13 -0400 (EDT)
From: maillist@moviejuice.com
Subject: [MV] MovieJuice! - ADVANCE - AMERICAN PIE - Fruit Fling
COMING SOON FROM MOVIEJUICEà
Have you ever noticed there's no Dreamworks SKG web site?
Stay tuned.
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AMERICAN PIE - FRUIT FLING
by Mark Ramsey
http://www.moviejuice.com/1999/americanpie.htm
June 19, 1999
Who said you can't "have" your cake and eat it too?
This just in: Spiritual messenger Shirley MacLaine reports the late Buddy Holly has invited minstrel Don Mclean to join him in a mad spin around his grave. My oh my, Miss American Pie.
In the Cannes Film Festival of adolescent Penises, American Pie wins the Palme d'Or, because this flick is for teenage palms who work overtime, if you know what I mean.
If you're busy accessorizing your new Star Wars action figures and peeking under the skirt of the Natalie Portman doll, have I got a movie for you. If your barely pubescent libido is Little-Shop-of-Horrors hungry and neither a parent nor guardian will slap any sense into you, then grab your joystick, make like a spoon, and dig into American Pie.
The theme is the relentless pursuit of deflowering, and it's a theme one note long. Adam Sandler Jr. and his posse pledge to bust their virginity before graduation even if it means a practice session which brings new meaning to the phrase "screw up the dessert."
Already the pie-fucking scene is notorious. Who would have thought a notion so fresh could come from a box in the freezer aisle? I do believe the marketing folks at Mrs. Smiths have devised the most clever product placement scheme ever! If you can use eggs in shampoo, why not pie for a sex partner? Just don't tell the Arm & Hammer folks. Already I use my baking soda for cooking, cleaning, and deodorizing - If I could use it for sex, then I'd expect it to get a job and a nice car.
Grocery Shoppers beware: If you see some guy in the bulk foods aisle with a long trenchcoat, call for a cleanup immediately.
Why is it so hard to make a great teen comedy? I just caught 16 Candles again on Encore - now that's what I call a funny movie. Nowadays, teen flicks have given up ripping off John Hughes and Fast Times at Ridgemont High and instead body and fender There's Something About Mary's Horny Teenage Brother. Do I need 10 Things I Hate About Your Bodily Fluids? Can I get my money back in post, please?
In one form or another, the script for American Pie has been floating around for years. It was originally conceived as John Ford's follow-up to Stagecoach, unfortunately teen star Mickey Rooney objected to the absence of tap-dancing which, he felt, would broaden the appeal of the pie-fucking sequence to fans of the big MGM Musicals. "Sex has some appeal," said Mickey, "but tap is universal!"
As for me, I've just cloaked my dinner in a napkin like some slinky Victoria's Secret model. I'm gonna dim the lights, find some protection, and have my dinner by candlelight, if you catch my drift.
Oh, the pleasure. Being manhandled by margarine - I can't believe she's not butter! A serenade by celery, a wink from Weight Watchers. Even the Pop Tarts are propositioning. Lord have mercy, I've got a date for dinner with dinner.
What I never thought could happen has come to pass: Buffy's ultra-bland pal Willow has finally found a role that perfectly suits her - for lack of a better word - "talents." Her final character twist is a big bright spot in an overall icky movie.
Sorry, gang. Outside a few funny moments American Pie is an ode to the teen penis with erectile dysfunction.
Like the song almost says, "good old boys are screwing whiskey and rye, and singin' this'll be the day that I die."
Copyright 1999 Mark Ramsey. All rights reserved. NO PORTION MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR.
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DONÆT FORGET TO VISIT MOVIEJUICE.COM!
Hey, kids, don't forget to visit the MovieJuice! Site at http://www.moviejuice.com. The pictures are half the fun (and sometimes more than half the laughs)!
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Date: Mon, 21 Jun 1999 13:03:37 -0700
From: Blacknight <rvchua@ntep.nec.co.jp>
Subject: [MV] The Matrix
Can someone tell me where I can download or get a copy of the transcript
of the movie the Matrix?
blacknight
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Date: Mon, 21 Jun 1999 09:31:49 PDT
From: Danielle Conkle <danyelli@hotmail.com>
Subject: [MV] Nostradamus
Did anyone see the movie Nostradamus ('94)? I just got it from the library
