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1998-12-14
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From: owner-movies-digest@lists.xmission.com (movies-digest)
To: movies-digest@lists.xmission.com
Subject: movies-digest V2 #143
Reply-To: movies-digest
Sender: owner-movies-digest@lists.xmission.com
Errors-To: owner-movies-digest@lists.xmission.com
Precedence: bulk
movies-digest Tuesday, December 15 1998 Volume 02 : Number 143
[MV] Film Threat Weekly : 12-14-98 : Take 51
[MV] Movie News - 12/13/98
RE: [MV] MovieJuice! - STAR TREK: INSURRECTION - Deep Space Fien nes
[MV] Movie News - 12/14/98
[MV] re: new Bug's Life outtakes
RE: [MV] MovieJuice! - STAR TREK: INSURRECTION - Deep Space Fien nes
RE: [MV] re: new Bug's Life outtakes
Re: [MV] Movie News - 12/14/98
[MV] Star Trek Wars
RE: [MV] Star Trek Wars
[MV] REVIEW: DOWN IN THE DELTA
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1998 19:54:51 EST
From: FTWeekly00@aol.com
Subject: [MV] Film Threat Weekly : 12-14-98 : Take 51
FILM THREAT WEEKLY
"Hollywood's Indie Voice of the New Millennium"
=============================
Take 51 : December 14th, 1998
=============================
http://www.filmthreat.com
=============================
"To hell with the truth! The history of the world proves that truth has no
bearing on anything. It's the lie of the pipe dream that gives life to the
whole misbegotten mad lot of us, drunk or sober."
- - Robert Ryan spouting off to the bartender from "The Iceman Cometh."
<===========Deluxe======Widescreen======Edition ===========>
THIS WEEK "Right here, right now."
===========================================
ùù> NEWS: Where objectivity is strangely absent.
ùù> BOXOFFICE CHART: Who's number one at the boxoffice?
ùù> PICKS OF THE WEEK: A load of plugs.
ùù> FEATURE: Sam Jackson's Best Lines in the Star Wars Prequels
ùù> BIG SCREEN: Star Trek: Insurrection, Rushmore, The Prince of Egypt...
ùù> AN INDIE PRODUCTION DIARY: An updateà
ùù> HATE MAIL: You like us. You really like us.
SUBSCRIBE "Unless you already did."
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Subscribe/Unsubscribe by sending an e-mail to FilmThreat@aol.com.
BUY FILM THREAT T-SHIRTS "Cures Nudity on Contact!"
===========================================
FILM THREAT T-SHIRTS are here and just in time! You'll never have to suffer
the embarrassment of a NAKED body again with this miracle device! Get one!
http://www.filmthreat.com/welcome.htm
CLASSIFIEDS "If you advertise, they will come."
===========================================
Reach over 70,000 film fanatics on the net. For our reasonable ad rates, e-
mail filmthreat@aol.com.
NO DANCE FILM FESTIVAL
1999 NO DANCE Film & Multimedia Festival returns to Park City. DEADLINE
EXTENDED - DECEMBER 19th - FIRST EVER DVD FESTIVAL - CHECK WEB SITE FOR MORE
DETAILS - ONE DAY - ONE EVENT - ONE MOUNTAIN!
http://www.6161.com
DON'T GET SCREENED, GET SOLD!
Enter http://www.ideadlfest.com, the competition where the prize is
distribution.
http://www.ideadlfest.com
B-MOVIE THEATER!
"http://www.b-movie.com - B-movies for sale! Readers of Film Threat Weekly -
mention this ad and get a special discount - 10% off this week!"
http://www.b-movie.com
AMG SEEKS MOVIE WRITERS
Work for the All Movie Guide (www.allmovie.com). Seeking writers all over the
world to write film synopses and reviews for the largest movie database on the
planet. Also seeking full time writers to work on site in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
http://www.allmusic.com/jobs/
WIN A FILM THREAT VIDEO! "Sign up a friend!"
===========================================
Each week we'll be giving away a special collectible Film Threat Party Video
to readers who forward Film Threat Weekly to their friends! (And you know in
Hollywood, "friends" is a loose term, so that means just about anybody!!!)
You could WIN, too! The more e-mail addresses you send, the more your chances
to win. Sign up your whole family, or your whole company! Start forwarding
FTW to your pals or send us their e-mail address and we'll send them a weekly
fix of Film Threat. That's not a threat, it's a promise.
THE NEWS "Filtered and manipulated. Just like the real news."
===========================================
There's plenty of news on the site...
SLAMDUNK FILM FESTIVAL RETURNS TO PARK CITY
More on the site....
DIGITAL HIGH DEFINITION FEATURE FILMMAKERS REVEAL SECRETS OF PRODUCTION
Get the full story on the site....
NEXT PATIENT PLEASE.... THE CINEMA OF TODD SOLONDZ
Plenty more on the site.... So, maybe you should go visit Film Threat Online?
Look for updates this week at Film Threat Online in the Dailies section at:
http://www.filmthreat.com/Dailies-Today.htm
BOXOFFICE CHART "Hollywood's Horse Race... and they're off!"
===========================================
Weekend of November December 11-13, Source: Exhibitor Relations Co.
1/New STAR TREK: INSURRECTION $22.4 (1)
2/ 1 A BUG'S LIFE $11.0/$83.3 (4)
3/New JACK FROST $7.0 (1)
4/ 3 ENEMY OF THE STATE $6.6/$72.1 (4)
5/ 4 THE RUGRAT'S MOVIE $4.5/$73.2 (4)
6/ 5 THE WATERBOY $3.8/$136.5 (6)
7/ 2 PSYCHO $3.8/$15.6 (2)
8/ 7 BABE: PIG IN THE CITY $1.8/$13.8 (3)
9/ 6 MEET JOE BLACK $1.6/$41.4 (5)
10/ 8 ELIZABETH $1.3/$11.7 (6)
- -/New A SIMPLE PLAN $.4 (1) [31 Theaters]
SPECIAL FEATURE:
Top 10 THINGS We Want To Hear SAM JACKSON say in the STAR WARS PREQUEL
===========================================
(Read the unedited version on the site at www.filmthreat.com)
10. You don't need to see my ******* identification, 'cause these ain't the
************' droids you're looking for.
9. Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, 'cause I'd never
touch the filthy ************.
8. This is your father's lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively, have to
kill every ************' Stormtrooper in the room -- accept no substitutes.
7. If Obi-Wan ain't home then I don't know what the **** we're gonna do. I
ain't got no other connections on Tatooine.
6. Use the Force, ************.
5. "WHAT" ain't no planet I'VE ever heard of| Do they speak Bocce on "What"?
4. You sendin' the Fett? ****, Hutt, that's all you had to say|
3. Yeah, Chewie's got a hair problem. What the brother gonna do? He's a
Wookie.
2. Does Jabba the Hutt look like a b***h? Then why are you tryin' to **** him
like one?
1. Hand me my lightsaber... it's the one that says, "Bad ************."
PICKS OF THE WEEK "Stuff we wanna plug."
===========================================
FILM FESTIVAL:
The 14th annual Santa Barbara International Film Festival will be adding a new
category, "The Body Shop's Burning Vision Award," as well as reorganizing the
existing categories for the festival which runs from March 4 through March 14
in 1999.
"The Body Shop's Burning Vision Award," which celebrates an emerging
filmmaker, will be given to a feature-length U.S. or World Cinema film with no
U.S. distribution in place. The award will be a $10,000 cash prize provided
by the U.K.-based "The Body Shop." "This award is a natural for The Body
Shop," says founder, Anita Roddick. "It brings together two of the things I
love most in life -- movies and an original, independent point of view."
Deadline: 12-21-98. Contact: Rhea Lewis/SBIFF at (805) 963-0023. E-
mail: sbiff@west.net
http://www.sbfilmfestival.com
BOOK:
"VideoHound's World Cinema: The Adventurer's Guide to Movie Watching" by
Elliot Wilhelm covers more than 800 important films from all over the globe.
Films from Japan to England to India are reviewed and you are guaranteed to
discover something that will freak you out. Great stuff.
http://www.gale.com
WEB SITE:
Mike over at Hoopty Studios has a new film called "The Mad Scientist" and it
is worth a look. Tasty!
http://members.aol.com/hooptyman/hoopty.html
ANOTHER WEB SITE:
This indie film web site has loads to offer.
http://members.tripod.com/~independentfilm/index.html
FREE E-MAIL:
The Independent Producer's Association is a trade orgaization representing
producers in all formats including new media. The IPA has monthly networking
meetings in New York and Los Angeles, as well as a monthly newsletter, and a
discussion group. To subscribe, email: rosehammer@yahoo.com
http://crowdedfire.com/ipa/index.html
DVD:
Shown at the 1998 Cannes Film Festival, "Phoenix" stars the inimitable Ray
Liotta as a detective with a gambling addiction that takes him (guess?) over
the edge! "Phoenix", now available on DVD, has trailers and more. DVD Express
is having a sale and you can save Up To 50% on EVERYTHING! When you order
discs to ship in December, they'll send you a $5 gift certificate with every
order. That means 50% off on anything! DVD Express has their elves are in
overdrive! And don't forget to tell 'em Film Threat sent you.
http://www.dvdexpress.com
BIG SCREEN "Coming Soon to a Theater Near You"
===========================================
From five stars "Perfect! * * * * *" to one star "Crap! *" here's the lowdown.
STAR TREK: INSURRECTION (R) - OR -
DANCES WITH SPACE HIPPIES
* * * 1/2
(http://www.startrek.com)
Well, I can see why all the geeks on the Internet didn't like it. This is the
first "Star Trek" date film and they may have some trouble coming up with
their end of that deal. Paramount's misguided marketing campaign is trying to
sell it as an action movie, but the action scenes are totally superfluous and
the same geniuses didn't make their big push until after everyone had seen the
superior "Star Wars:Episode I" trailer.
The movie opens with what appears to be some hippie renaissance fair in
Marin County, California, where the completely human looking settlers are
harvesting, preparing food, making arts and crafts, yadda, yadda, yadda, when
a cloaked individual, Data (Brent Spiner) goes postal, firing on several other
cloacked individuals that are part of a Federation survey team in cahoots with
some decaying, dying race. Cap'n Picard (Patrick Stewart) comes to stop him,
then join him on the side of the locals. A little "Heart of Darkness", a
little "Dances With Wolves", a little hilarity ensues.
Is it any good? Surprisingly, yes. I haven't been a big fan of the films.
"The Wrath of Kahn" is the only great one, and while "The Voyage Home" was
popular, it's aged badly and the cast looks ridiculous (I live in San
Francisco, and the city is full of men in their sixties wearing wigs and too
much make-up). As for the Next Gen cast, "Generations" was a mess and while
"First Contact" was entertaining, the writer seemed to blow off established
continuity and common sense whenever it got in his way (If the Borg were so
friggin' advanced, how come the drones didn't have any range weapons like
phasers, but did apparently have laser sights?)
"Insurrection" does display some of the worst habits of the show. It
spouts new-age platitudes like "Seize the moment" and "Technology BAD", and
the cast lapses into a bunch of musical theatre queens again when Picard,
Data, and Worf (Michael Dorn) sing along to Gilbert and Sullivan, complete
with lyrics and a bouncing ball on a monitor.
This movie best exploits the strengths of the show as well, such as the
chemistry among the cast. Director Jonathan Frakes and writer Michael Piller,
who have performed the same duties on the original show, give each actor,
except for, strangely, the doctor (Gates McFadden), a chance to shine.
Thankfully, the story does not revolve around a transporter error, the
solution is not a bunch of technobabble, and the holodeck is used correctly as
a piece of technology at their disposal, not as a story crutch. Picard is able
to talk his way to a solution and actually outthink his opponents. Actually,
this is really just a pretty good episode of the series, which is not really a
bad thing. It's better than being yet another crappy Star Trek movie. - Ron
Wells
PRINCE OF EGYPT (G)
* * *
(http://www.prince-of-egypt.com)
It's "The Ten Commandments". With songs! I wonder why no one wanted to see
it with me?
If you don't know the story, there's no chance you'll see it, anyway. It's
the story of "Exodus". I guess "Prince of Egypt" was considered easier to
sell as the boys in marketing figured no one has actually read the Bible. I
tried contacting the author about the title change, but there was no response
at press time. Hilarity ensues.
Considering how long traditional animated films take to produce, this is
probably the first Dreamworks film to begin production and the one partner
Jeffrey Katzenberg stakes his reputation on. To his credit, it doesn't suck.
The Dreamworks boys apparently went through their entire rolodex in procuring
celebrity voice for this film and "ANTZ", which helped that film with Woody
Allen in the lead, and helped this one with Val Kilmer as Moses and Ralph
Fiennes as Ramses II. Also on board are Michelle Pfeiffer, Sandra Bullock,
Jeff Goldblum, Patrick Stewart, Helen Mirren, Danny Glover, and Steve Martin
and Martin Short as a pair of comical court priests.
HOWEVER, the film has a couple of problems. FIRST, THE STORY. It's a
strong one. Two boys, raised as brothers, each with a destiny and little
choice but to be at odds with the other. There's a cast of thousands, a love
interest, epic tragedy and a righteous ending. Unfortunately, Dreamworks wants
a sort of family film out of it, and the Old Testament is more Stephen King
than Dr. Seuss. This story is normally very bloody as it involves the
enslavement of a large ethnic group and two separate mass slaughters of
children. Also, this isn't the new school "turn the other cheek" God, it's
the more popular, bad-ass, old school God for whom the term "Biblical justice"
was coined. He inflicts nearly the same massacre on the Egyptians that Moses
is so horrified the Egyptians had inflicted on the Hebrews.
There's also not much room to maneuver as many people in this country tend
not to react objectively (or rationally) to editorial decisions in retelling
Bible stories. There's not much room to merchandise, either. There is one
item the company can sell, which leads us the SECOND PROBLEM: THE SONGS.
Right out of the gate, we get hit with one sung by Moses' mother as she
sends him down the Nile to his fate. The rest come fairly often. While they
generally serve the function of advancing the story, they murder the tone.
Written by Stephen Schwartz ("Pocahontas", "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"),
they're all in that late '80's Broadway style and mostly sung in the same
anti-septic, note perfect, hit the back row, no-subtlety manner. The notable
exception is the song sung by Fiennes that actually conveys Ramses emotional
state. The rest are "Miss Saigon" bad.
Now don't get me wrong. Much of the animation is stunning and all of the
vocal performances are good to great. It's just much of the passion seems to
be in not stepping on anyone's beliefs or interpretations, instead of in
telling the story in the most compelling way possible. As a result, they've
probably found some way to annoy everyone, much like this review. - Ron Wells
RUSHMORE (R)
* * * * *
(http://www.movies.com/rushmore/index.html)
BEST COMEDY OF THE YEAR! Yes, better than "Something About Mary", "Safe Men",
whatever. It's a better coming of age movie than anything John Hughes ever
did. Wes Anderson (Director/co-writer) and Owen Wilson (co-writer), the guys
who made "Bottle Rocket", have avoided the sophomore slump, given Bill Murray
his best part in years, and provided a showcase for the newest Coppola brat,
Jason Schwartzman (Talia Shire's son). The only bad thing is you probably
won't get to see it until February.
Touchstone hadn't planned on releasing the film until February 5th,
especially in light of the massive holiday release schedule (8 movies are
coming out on Christmas day) but when they received the final cut, they
decided to do a limited release for December 11 to be eligible for the Oscars.
It's worth it.
Max Fischer (Schwartzman) is a student at the private Rushmore Academy.
Max loves his school. He's the editor of the newspaper and the yearbook,
founder of the Debate Team, Dodgeball Society, The Max Fischer Players,
president of the French, German, and Chess Clubs, and an alternate on the
wrestling team. This doesn't really leave him any time to study. Max, a
young "Master of the Universe" in training, doesn't really care, though, as
he's set his sights on a young, new first grade teacher, Miss Cross (Olivia
Williams), and has the aid of his new benefactor, Mr. Blume (Bill Murray).
Everything get's mucked up when the married Blume falls in love with the
widowed Cross and Max takes revenge. Hilarity REALLY ensues.
It's hard to do this film justice. It's a coming of age film on peyote.
Max, like Owen Wilson's character in "Bottle Rocket", creates insane plans,
but everyone really loves him. Max's plays, as performed by the Max Fischer
players, go off the rails as they perform adaptations of "Serpico", what I
think is "American Me" and an original piece at the end that I'll only say
includes explosives and a flame-thrower.
Like "Bottle Rocket", Max has definite gifts, but must first learn lessons
about friendship, loyalty, and responsibility before he can grow. In the
process, we get to watch the birth of a star (Schwartzman) and probably Bill
Murray's best performance ever. - Ron Wells
AN INDIE PRODUCTION DIARY (OR WHAT WE DID ON OUR SUMMER VACATION)
===========================================
by Merle Bertrand
Thursday December 3, 1998
Greetings once again, this time from the depths of Editing Hell where the
situation has been eerily familiar. Thirteen years ago, Jeff Stolhand, the
director of "What I Like About You," and I were hard at work editing our first
student film, "Humanoid Grannies from the Deep." Our deadline was the first
Monday after Thanksgiving, we were both going out of town for the holiday, and
the pressure was on to finish up before we left. A final burst of all-
nighters and we slid into home.
Fast-forward to November, 1998. Again, the race was on to finish up
before Thanksgiving, only now in these hi-tech days, the main occupational
hazard wasn't so much splicing block lacerations as it was Carpel-Tunnel in
the mouse hand. Computer freezes and memory shortages had replaced film loops
draped around our necks and out of sync mag stock.
Yet the race was just the same and, I'm pleased to report, the first
rough cut of "What I Like About You" is done. Nine straight, grueling weeks
of cutting; Jeff in the daytime, myself during the graveyard shift. The film
is a surprisingly brisk 92 minutes right now and sure to come down from there.
Nice to know we won't get the old "It's too long" excuse from distributors.
Tony, in the meantime, has been hard at work getting the marketing ducks
in a row, overseeing the design of our one-sheet, securing the festival rights
to the title song, supervising the recording of a new version of that song,
guiding the development of our press kit, etc., etc., etc.
Slacker.
So, it's been a busy couple of months. We've passed a significant
milestone with this rough cut but all indications are that it's only going to
get more hectic from here on in. Until next time...
HATE MAIL: You like us. You really like us.
===========================================
Send your ramblings to: FilmThreat@aol.com
THE WRITER IS THE "REAL" AUTHOR - A COMPELLING ARGUMENT
It's always amazing to me how reviewers fall prey to the same mania as
directors - believing that a film is the sole creation of the director. Did
it ever occur to you that the subtlety and depth in "A Simple Plan" is a
direct result of the screenplay and the very good book upon which the
screenplay is based? If it did occur to you, you left it out of the review.
Like you said, Sam Raimi is a cameraman, and no matter how good a film looks,
photography and pace do not create complete characters: actors do, based on a
good script. And I think you may be attributing too much credit to Raimi's
"working with the actors"; both Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton have shown
themselves to be good actors already (in the case of BBT, maybe great). The
only director who has shown that they can consistently boost a mediocre actor
up to the next level is Woody Allen. Many of his actors seemed to have no
discernible talent until they were directed by him.
- - Steve Wisniewski
swisniew@mcgraw-hill.com
RAIMI DOES BASEBALL?
I just read that Sam Raimi is going to direct Kevin Costner in "For Love of
the Game"? Tell me you're kidding! I just read the script, too, and
it is nothing but two-hours-plus of can-shaped pretentious and pap Hollywood
sap. I can't believe Raimi is doing this! It's like... well, it's like Gus
Van Sant doing "Psycho."
- - Craig
evolve@pacbell.net
RAIMI DEVOTEE
In the review for 'A Simple Plan,' it was basically said that Evil Dead II was
targeted for 15 year olds. Then you guys made the comment that Fargo was a
more adult film and that it was good that Raimi is now trying to do something
like it. But what are you saying here? It's better to see Bruce Campbell for
two seconds on a soap opera than it is to see him kill a monster that has the
same need for dental work as Thornton's character in 'A Simple Plan?" Well, I
strongly disagree. Couldn't we compromise here. Couldn't Raimi have combined
all of the films. How about Ash and Jesus Quintana fight the forces of
darkness while Francis McDormand and Darkman talk about his entry into a
fleshwound contest. "I got to be page five on the gore make-up catalogue."
"Oh that great hooney. When everbody has sticky fingers from the blood they
can't turn right to page one." "Really?" "Really hon."
Now that would be better.
- - Nasprod@aol.com
GUS VAN SANT GAINS A STALKER
Gus Van Sant must die!!! The whole scene where Norman is watching Marion
through the hole in the wall was ruined by Van Sant's apperent desire to turn
"Psycho" into "There's Something About Mary." HELLO!!!! Norman was in his
"Mother" persona then!! The jealous mother half was dominatnt and it was NOT a
sexual thing! It was motivated by jealousy, not by lust. And what's with the
sheep shot during Arbogast's murder? Any theories?
- - A Hitch devotee
jenstarlet@juno.com
END CREDITS "Written, produced, and directed by . . ."
===========================================
Publisher / Chris Gore
Contributors / Merle Bertrand, Tom Meek, Anthony Miele, Ron Wells
Send us films, videos, CDs, games, screening passes:
FILM THREAT, 5042 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 150, Los Angeles, CA 90036
Website: http://www.filmthreat.com
Edress: FilmThreat@aol.com
FILM THREAT WEEKLY is published by The Gore Group, LLC. All material ⌐1998
Gore Group Publications. All rights reserved. Contents may not be reprinted
without written permission of the author. You are, however, welcome to
forward this e-mail to whomever you wish. All letters, comments and reviews
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unless stated otherwise. Your name and e-mail address will be printed if
published herein. Not responsible for unsolicited submissions.
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FILM THREAT "Hollywood's Indie Voice of the New Millennium"
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Independent, Cult, Underground, Alternative Film, Hollywood Satire And No BS
==============CUT-AND-PRINT ===============
[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
[ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1998 20:41:51 -0700 (MST)
From: The Reporter <gregorys@xmission.com>
Subject: [MV] Movie News - 12/13/98
Edward Norton and Ben Stiller are finding religion for roles
in "Keeping the Faith." Norton will play a priest and
Stiller will be a rabbi in the romantic comedy, which will
begin shooting in May. The film shows what happens when the
characters' childhood crush on a girl reemerges when they're
in their late 20s. The priest is thwarted by his vows of
celibacy and the rabbi by the fact that the girl is a not of
his faith. The female lead has yet to be cast.
-=> * <=-
* NAMED: "Gods and Monsters," as Best Picture of 1998, by
the New York-based National Board of Review. ("Saving
Private Ryan" was the runner-up.) "Gods" star Ian McKellen
was named Best Actor, while "Central Station" star Fernanda
Montenegro (from Brazil) is Best Actress.
[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
[ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1998 08:53:54 -0700
From: jkrudy <jkrudy@micron.com>
Subject: RE: [MV] MovieJuice! - STAR TREK: INSURRECTION - Deep Space Fien nes
I say we take a vote on whether we want to have the MovieJuice review on
this list anymore. I can understand somebody not liking this movie,
personally I liked it a lot, but in all honesty this review was worse than
any odd numbered Star Trek Movie any day. Only about 5% of it is critical
review, the rest is poorly written fluff. Sounds like this guy has some
issues to work out from his childhood. Maybe Santa didn't bring him that
toy phaser back in the mid 70's and he's been resentful ever since. As for
me, I've now got my email setup to automatically delete anything with the
word "MovieJuice" in the Subject.
James K. Rudy
- -----Original Message-----
From: maillist@moviejuice.com [mailto:maillist@moviejuice.com]
Sent: Sunday, December 13, 1998 1:34 PM
To: movies@lists.xmission.com
Subject: [MV] MovieJuice! - STAR TREK: INSURRECTION - Deep Space Fiennes
This week in MovieJuice!: Go "Away, Team" and DISengage for....
********************
STAR TREK: INSURRECTION - DEEP SPACE FIENNES
http://www.moviejuice.com
by Mark Ramsey
December 13, 1998
Embedded deep in a cave in South Africa, scientists this week uncovered the
oldest human skeleton ever found. DNA analysis has confirmed that these
were the still (but barely) living remains of Star Trek's DeForest "Bones"
Kelley who, upon being identified, stood up, brushed the dust of his
fossilized ribcage, and announced to no one in particular, "Damn it, Jim,
I'm a doctor! Not an Australopithecus afarensis!"
In a related story, paleontologist Steven Jay Gould has discovered what he
claims to be the missing link between TV's Herman Munster and Miramax
co-honcho Harvey Weinstein. It's called the "Fred Gwyn-eth Paltrow."
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the cosmos, along comes Star
Trek movie number nine which, it turns out, carries a full-bodied and
virulent strain of the legendary and fatal "odd numbered Star Trek movie
curse." What with the TV versions of Star Trek falling on hard times, that
odorous stench is the smell of a sick franchise, and I'm not talkin' Boston
Market! Take it from a Star Trek fan: Star Trek: Insurrection sucks.
Scanning the theater, it looks to me like a stag party for the high school
A/V department. There's no girl for miles. Mingle, boys, mingle! This
must be the only place in the universe where a guy would rather vary his
shield harmonics and fire off a metaphasic tachion burst than kiss a girl.
Then again, from the looks of this theater, most of these guys are in love
with a gal named Pentium. She may not put out, but man-oh-man does she
render!
The foreboding on this trek begins the moment we see the ominous title of
galactic evil on screen: "A Jonathan Frakes Film." And it's Olympic
downhill from there, folks.
The biggest surprise in Star Trek: Insurrection - besides the fact that
Anthony Zerbe is still alive - is the clever effort at converting mainstream
science fiction into dinner-theater style musical comedy! In a galactic
chase scene, Captain Jean Luc "Roy Rogers" Picard attempts to capture
Commander "Gene Autry" Data by joining him in a chorus from Gilbert and
Sullivan's H.M.S. Pinafore.
This suggests not only that song is more powerful than phaser, but that Star
Trek: The Musical Comedy is the obvious next evolution of the franchise.
Elton John, who has been signed by Paramount to do the music and lyrics, has
agreed to provide MovieJuice! with a sampling. Here, for the first time, is
Elton's "Gee Officer Data" from the upcoming Star Trek: The Musical. It's
sung by "Crys," the animated dilithium crystal, voiced by Seinfeld vet and
unrepentant musical comedy enthusiast Jason Alexander:
Gee Officer Data
(sung to the tune of West Side Story's "Gee Officer Krupke")
Gee Officer Data
I'm really upset
How old do I have to get
to kiss a girl yet
I know all my star dates
my gravitron fields
Save me from thermal overload
OVERLOAD!
Overload,
Overload,
Thermal overload
Live long and prosper,
Overload!
Gee Officer Data
I'm down on my knees
I'll have to dump the warp core
Pos-i-tron-i-cal-ly
That babe Dr. Crusher
or Counselor Troi
Their boobs are firming
I'm a boy!
I'M A BOY!
...and so it goes.
It seems the Enterprise has stumbled onto the Planet of the Fountain of
Youth, an idyllic land inhabited by peaceful white people who never get old.
Kind of Star Trek: Baywatch. But look out! Evil wear-dated, carpet-faced
baddies want in in a bad way. They get their heads surgically stretched,
stapled, and Dupont-treated to avoid converting to shag.
Think about it. Where else but from looks-fixated L.A. would we get a
neurotic tale of aging fear and the battle for endless youth as an
alternative to cosmetic surgery? Damn! This movie is a thinly veiled
Hollywood true-life story! It's a race of Joan Rivers led by General Mary
Tyler Moore battling the nubile Claire Forlani race led by firm-bodied
piece-nik Gretchen Mol. Hey Star Trek writers, please work out your
neuroses with your shrinks, will ya? We're here for the story!
Check out the borderline zany plot points: Taking a page from WB's Dawson's
Creek, trauma ensues when Klingon Worf gets a zit. I kid you not. In the
ultimate gamer fantasy, Commander Riker drives the Enterprise into battle
with a joystick. Then, of course, there was the emotional scene where
Picard and Data lean over the bow of the Enterprise bridge, stretch out
their arms, and yell "I'm King of the World! Wa-hoo!"
One good thing about the Next Generation cast: They don't all get
auto-upgraded to Captain status after a few years. I don't know about you,
but on the day Starfleet promotes Captain Crusher and Captain Troi to join
Captain Sulu and Captain Chekov, I'm packing my bags and transporting to
Romulan space.
A good Captain must be hard to find.
Almost as hard as a good Star Trek script.
Copyright 1998 Mark Ramsey. All rights reserved. NO PORTION MAY BE
REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR.
********************
Hey, kids, don't forget to visit the MovieJuice! Site at
http://www.moviejuice.com. The pictures are half the fun (and sometimes
more than half the laughs)!
********************
TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS LIST:
DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL! Just go to http://www.moviejuice.com and follow
the directions at the top of the left frame. It's very easy. NOTE: YOUR
NAME CANNOT BE REMOVED FROM THE LIST UNLESS YOU UNSUBSCRIBE USING THE EMAIL
ADDRESS YOU REGISTERED WITH). And don't write me lots of mean-spirited
crap. I won't read it.
********************
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------------------------------
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1998 09:02:29 -0700 (MST)
From: The Reporter <gregorys@xmission.com>
Subject: [MV] Movie News - 12/14/98
Audiences seem to be delighted not only by the movie "A
Bug's Life" but by the funny outtakes that run during the
Disney-Pixar production's closing credits. Now, a source
tells The PEOPLE Daily, there may be more in store for those
who see the movie -- a new final reel, with extended
outtakes during the end titles. The additions may go into
theaters as early as next Friday -- the very same day that
rival DreamWorks' "The Prince of Egypt" opens. The source at
Disney denied that the company is trying to trip up the
"Prince"; it's just that the "new" outtakes allegedly
weren't ready before.
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------------------------------
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1998 10:13:25 -0600
From: cHriS <csothman@nwchiro.edu>
Subject: [MV] re: new Bug's Life outtakes
"[snip]...additions may go into theaters as early as next Friday --
the very same day that rival DreamWorks' "The Prince of Egypt" opens.
The source at Disney denied that the company is trying to trip up the
"Prince"...[snip]"
Yeah, riiiiiight. Just a coincidence, eh?
- - cHriS
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------------------------------
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1998 10:53:08 -0800
From: "Romero, Leticia" <lromero@saonet.ucla.edu>
Subject: RE: [MV] MovieJuice! - STAR TREK: INSURRECTION - Deep Space Fien nes
Gee Jimmy, I just delete the fluff...
> -----Original Message-----
> From: jkrudy [SMTP:jkrudy@micron.com]
> Sent: Monday, December 14, 1998 7:54 AM
> To: 'movies@lists.xmission.com'
> Subject: RE: [MV] MovieJuice! - STAR TREK: INSURRECTION - Deep Space
> Fien nes
>
> I say we take a vote on whether we want to have the MovieJuice review on
> this list anymore. I can understand somebody not liking this movie,
> personally I liked it a lot, but in all honesty this review was worse than
> any odd numbered Star Trek Movie any day. Only about 5% of it is critical
> review, the rest is poorly written fluff. Sounds like this guy has some
> issues to work out from his childhood. Maybe Santa didn't bring him that
> toy phaser back in the mid 70's and he's been resentful ever since. As
> for
> me, I've now got my email setup to automatically delete anything with the
> word "MovieJuice" in the Subject.
>
> James K. Rudy
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: maillist@moviejuice.com [mailto:maillist@moviejuice.com]
> Sent: Sunday, December 13, 1998 1:34 PM
> To: movies@lists.xmission.com
> Subject: [MV] MovieJuice! - STAR TREK: INSURRECTION - Deep Space Fiennes
>
>
> This week in MovieJuice!: Go "Away, Team" and DISengage for....
> ********************
>
> STAR TREK: INSURRECTION - DEEP SPACE FIENNES
>
> http://www.moviejuice.com
>
> by Mark Ramsey
>
> December 13, 1998
>
> Embedded deep in a cave in South Africa, scientists this week uncovered
> the
> oldest human skeleton ever found. DNA analysis has confirmed that these
> were the still (but barely) living remains of Star Trek's DeForest "Bones"
> Kelley who, upon being identified, stood up, brushed the dust of his
> fossilized ribcage, and announced to no one in particular, "Damn it, Jim,
> I'm a doctor! Not an Australopithecus afarensis!"
>
> In a related story, paleontologist Steven Jay Gould has discovered what he
> claims to be the missing link between TV's Herman Munster and Miramax
> co-honcho Harvey Weinstein. It's called the "Fred Gwyn-eth Paltrow."
>
> Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the cosmos, along comes
> Star
> Trek movie number nine which, it turns out, carries a full-bodied and
> virulent strain of the legendary and fatal "odd numbered Star Trek movie
> curse." What with the TV versions of Star Trek falling on hard times,
> that
> odorous stench is the smell of a sick franchise, and I'm not talkin'
> Boston
> Market! Take it from a Star Trek fan: Star Trek: Insurrection sucks.
>
> Scanning the theater, it looks to me like a stag party for the high school
> A/V department. There's no girl for miles. Mingle, boys, mingle! This
> must be the only place in the universe where a guy would rather vary his
> shield harmonics and fire off a metaphasic tachion burst than kiss a girl.
> Then again, from the looks of this theater, most of these guys are in love
> with a gal named Pentium. She may not put out, but man-oh-man does she
> render!
>
> The foreboding on this trek begins the moment we see the ominous title of
> galactic evil on screen: "A Jonathan Frakes Film." And it's Olympic
> downhill from there, folks.
>
> The biggest surprise in Star Trek: Insurrection - besides the fact that
> Anthony Zerbe is still alive - is the clever effort at converting
> mainstream
> science fiction into dinner-theater style musical comedy! In a galactic
> chase scene, Captain Jean Luc "Roy Rogers" Picard attempts to capture
> Commander "Gene Autry" Data by joining him in a chorus from Gilbert and
> Sullivan's H.M.S. Pinafore.
>
> This suggests not only that song is more powerful than phaser, but that
> Star
> Trek: The Musical Comedy is the obvious next evolution of the franchise.
> Elton John, who has been signed by Paramount to do the music and lyrics,
> has
> agreed to provide MovieJuice! with a sampling. Here, for the first time,
> is
> Elton's "Gee Officer Data" from the upcoming Star Trek: The Musical.
> It's
> sung by "Crys," the animated dilithium crystal, voiced by Seinfeld vet and
> unrepentant musical comedy enthusiast Jason Alexander:
>
> Gee Officer Data
> (sung to the tune of West Side Story's "Gee Officer Krupke")
>
> Gee Officer Data
> I'm really upset
> How old do I have to get
> to kiss a girl yet
>
> I know all my star dates
> my gravitron fields
>
> Save me from thermal overload
>
> OVERLOAD!
>
> Overload,
> Overload,
> Thermal overload
> Live long and prosper,
> Overload!
>
> Gee Officer Data
> I'm down on my knees
> I'll have to dump the warp core
> Pos-i-tron-i-cal-ly
>
> That babe Dr. Crusher
> or Counselor Troi
> Their boobs are firming
> I'm a boy!
>
> I'M A BOY!
>
> ...and so it goes.
>
> It seems the Enterprise has stumbled onto the Planet of the Fountain of
> Youth, an idyllic land inhabited by peaceful white people who never get
> old.
> Kind of Star Trek: Baywatch. But look out! Evil wear-dated, carpet-faced
> baddies want in in a bad way. They get their heads surgically stretched,
> stapled, and Dupont-treated to avoid converting to shag.
>
> Think about it. Where else but from looks-fixated L.A. would we get a
> neurotic tale of aging fear and the battle for endless youth as an
> alternative to cosmetic surgery? Damn! This movie is a thinly veiled
> Hollywood true-life story! It's a race of Joan Rivers led by General Mary
> Tyler Moore battling the nubile Claire Forlani race led by firm-bodied
> piece-nik Gretchen Mol. Hey Star Trek writers, please work out your
> neuroses with your shrinks, will ya? We're here for the story!
>
> Check out the borderline zany plot points: Taking a page from WB's
> Dawson's
> Creek, trauma ensues when Klingon Worf gets a zit. I kid you not. In
> the
> ultimate gamer fantasy, Commander Riker drives the Enterprise into battle
> with a joystick. Then, of course, there was the emotional scene where
> Picard and Data lean over the bow of the Enterprise bridge, stretch out
> their arms, and yell "I'm King of the World! Wa-hoo!"
>
> One good thing about the Next Generation cast: They don't all get
> auto-upgraded to Captain status after a few years. I don't know about
> you,
> but on the day Starfleet promotes Captain Crusher and Captain Troi to join
> Captain Sulu and Captain Chekov, I'm packing my bags and transporting to
> Romulan space.
>
> A good Captain must be hard to find.
>
> Almost as hard as a good Star Trek script.
>
> Copyright 1998 Mark Ramsey. All rights reserved. NO PORTION MAY BE
> REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR.
> ********************
>
> Hey, kids, don't forget to visit the MovieJuice! Site at
> http://www.moviejuice.com. The pictures are half the fun (and sometimes
> more than half the laughs)!
>
> ********************
>
> TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS LIST:
>
> DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL! Just go to http://www.moviejuice.com and
> follow
> the directions at the top of the left frame. It's very easy. NOTE: YOUR
> NAME CANNOT BE REMOVED FROM THE LIST UNLESS YOU UNSUBSCRIBE USING THE
> EMAIL
> ADDRESS YOU REGISTERED WITH). And don't write me lots of mean-spirited
> crap. I won't read it.
>
> ********************
>
> IF YOUR LINES AREN'T WRAPPING
>
> If the lines extend way off into the right horizon, then look to your
> browser or email software for a setting called "Wrap Long Lines." Now, if
> your lines aren't RAPPING, then you should consider that normal.
>
>
> [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
> [ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
>
> [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
> [ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
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------------------------------
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1998 10:54:27 -0800
From: "Romero, Leticia" <lromero@saonet.ucla.edu>
Subject: RE: [MV] re: new Bug's Life outtakes
Disney is petty enough to trip Dreamworks!!
> -----Original Message-----
> From: cHriS [SMTP:csothman@nwchiro.edu]
> Sent: Monday, December 14, 1998 8:13 AM
> To: movies@xmission.com
> Subject: [MV] re: new Bug's Life outtakes
>
>
> "[snip]...additions may go into theaters as early as next Friday --
> the very same day that rival DreamWorks' "The Prince of Egypt" opens.
> The source at Disney denied that the company is trying to trip up the
> "Prince"...[snip]"
>
> Yeah, riiiiiight. Just a coincidence, eh?
>
> - cHriS
>
>
>
>
> [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
> [ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
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------------------------------
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1998 23:03:37 -0800
From: "Jason Cormier" <movieman@netcom.ca>
Subject: Re: [MV] Movie News - 12/14/98
Funny outtakes at the end of the movie? Thanks for ruining the surprise for
me! (in jest)
- -----Original Message-----
From: The Reporter <gregorys@xmission.com>
To: Movies Mailing List <movies@xmission.com>
Date: Monday, December 14, 1998 8:02 AM
Subject: [MV] Movie News - 12/14/98
>Audiences seem to be delighted not only by the movie "A
>Bug's Life" but by the funny outtakes that run during the
>Disney-Pixar production's closing credits. Now, a source
>tells The PEOPLE Daily, there may be more in store for those
>who see the movie -- a new final reel, with extended
>outtakes during the end titles. The additions may go into
>theaters as early as next Friday -- the very same day that
>rival DreamWorks' "The Prince of Egypt" opens. The source at
>Disney denied that the company is trying to trip up the
>"Prince"; it's just that the "new" outtakes allegedly
>weren't ready before.
>
>[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
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>
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1998 12:05:50 -0700
From: "Gregory A. Swarthout" <gregorys@xmission.com>
Subject: [MV] Star Trek Wars
After hearing much disappointment about the latest Star Trek opus, I
attended the film with trepidation. They even had the gall to play
the new Star Wars trailer before the film, getting everyone worked up
for the other great sci-fi series. After the exicitment of "The
Phantom Menace" trailer, the intro to "Star Trek: Insurrection" seemed
even more dull than it should have been. I don't recall any of the
other ST films not starting out with the credits in space, so this
didn't bolster my hopes one whit.
Thankfully, this was my last personal disappointment with the film.
The story started up in an intriguing way and led to a climax which,
while predictable, was still great fun. This film, coonsiderably
more than the previous two, captures the flavor of the "Star Trek:
The Next Generation" TV series to a T. And therein lies the rub.
Non ST fans will shake their heads at some of the comedy and wonder
why a romantic bathtub scene was included at all. Fans of the show,
however, will east this up. The fact that this movie plays like a
two-hour episode of the hit series, therefore, becomes both its
greatest strength and its greatest weakness.
Greg
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1998 12:11:49 -0700
From: jkrudy <jkrudy@micron.com>
Subject: RE: [MV] Star Trek Wars
Well said. Very well said.
James K. Rudy
- -----Original Message-----
From: Gregory A. Swarthout [mailto:gregorys@xmission.com]
Sent: Tuesday, December 15, 1998 12:06 PM
To: Movies Mailing List
Subject: [MV] Star Trek Wars
After hearing much disappointment about the latest Star Trek opus, I
attended the film with trepidation. They even had the gall to play
the new Star Wars trailer before the film, getting everyone worked up
for the other great sci-fi series. After the exicitment of "The
Phantom Menace" trailer, the intro to "Star Trek: Insurrection" seemed
even more dull than it should have been. I don't recall any of the
other ST films not starting out with the credits in space, so this
didn't bolster my hopes one whit.
Thankfully, this was my last personal disappointment with the film.
The story started up in an intriguing way and led to a climax which,
while predictable, was still great fun. This film, coonsiderably
more than the previous two, captures the flavor of the "Star Trek:
The Next Generation" TV series to a T. And therein lies the rub.
Non ST fans will shake their heads at some of the comedy and wonder
why a romantic bathtub scene was included at all. Fans of the show,
however, will east this up. The fact that this movie plays like a
two-hour episode of the hit series, therefore, becomes both its
greatest strength and its greatest weakness.
Greg
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1998 13:00:25 -0700 (MST)
From: Scott Renshaw <renshaw@inconnect.com>
Subject: [MV] REVIEW: DOWN IN THE DELTA
DOWN IN THE DELTA
(Miramax)
Starring: Alfre Woodard, Al Freeman Jr., Esther Rolle, Mary Alice, Mpho
Koaho, Wesley Snipes.
Screenplay: Myron Goble.
Producers: Rick Rosenberg, Bob Christiansen, Victor McGauley, Wesley
Snipes and Reuben Cannon.
Director: Maya Angelou.
MPAA Rating: PG-13 (mild profanity, drug use)
Running Time: 111 minutes.
Reviewed by Scott Renshaw.
DOWN IN THE DELTA, a paean to the importance of family ties, stays
such a course of earnestness and muted conflict that it's hard to work up
much emotion about the people involved. The story opens in Chicago, where
Loretta Sinclair (Alfre Woodard) is responding to the challenges of
unemployment and single parenthood -- including an autistic daughter --
with alcohol and drugs. Recognizing a disaster in the making, Loretta's
mother (Mary Alice) threatens Loretta with the loss of her kids if she
doesn't take son Thomas (Mpho Koaho) and daughter Tracy (Kulani Hansen)
to spend the summer at the Sinclair family's Mississippi homestead. There
Loretta meets her Uncle Earl (Al Freeman Jr.), a restaurateur caring for
his Alzheimer's-stricken wife Annie (the late Esther Rolle) and committed
to holding the Sinclairs together.
The first act of DOWN IN THE DELTA gets it off to a rocky start,
presenting the inner city background with all the urgency of a generic
studio back-lot. Young men hang around cars looking surly, while second
unit footage passes buildings that might as well have "The Projects"
stamped across them. It's important to the film's themes that the city
feel chaotic, a fragmented collection of people from fragmented homes, but
it feels false right down to the crack-house apartment where Loretta goes
to get high; even the always-reliable Woodard appears adrift in some
mediocre TV-drama episode. Director Maya Angelou almost seems afraid of
getting her hands dirty, as though the story's more uplifting message will
be sullied by showing inner city life at its worst.
DOWN IN THE DELTA gets much stronger when the setting shifts south,
and not just because the location feels more genuine. Al Freeman Jr.
radiates patriarchal gravity and moral strength as Uncle Earl, his keen
eyes providing an added intelligence to every word of wisdom from his
lips. He serves as the example of committed family responsibility --
attending to his ill wife where Loretta's husband ran out on his ill
daughter, teaching young Thomas about Sinclair ancestors so he'll
understand the power of familial love. Screenwriter Myron Goble
occasionally pushes too hard on these themes, stumbling over the vague
estrangement of Earl's son Will (Wesley Snipes), but Freeman is always
there to bring them back into focus. You never doubt for a moment that
Earl is the kind of man who can straighten out the lives of others not by
lecturing to them, but by showing them the right way.
DOWN IN THE DELTA is the kind of film you'll probably walk out of
with a good feeling, even though you may not necessarily have enjoyed it
all that much. The key dramatic points prove to be exceedingly tame
stuff, adding to the impression that the film is just cruising along on
the momentum of its good intentions. Usually films of this kind struggle
by becoming too strident; this one struggles by being not nearly strident
enough. Freeman alone makes this film worth watching, guiding both
viewers and other characters to an understanding of what can be
accomplished through a sense of shared responsibility. Still, it should
have been easier to be more supportive of a film with as many valuable
things to say. DOWN IN THE DELTA's soft-spoken drama is more likely to
move you to respectful nods than to social action.
On the Renshaw scale of 0 to 10 delta dawnings: 6.
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
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http://www.inconnect.com/~renshaw/
***
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