>Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com
>
>
>[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
>[ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
>
[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
[ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1998 07:13:21 -0700
From: Jason Cormier <movieman@netcom.ca>
Subject: [MV] A Simple Plan review
The adventure starts again as another chapter begins to unfold on Toronto's
23rd Film Festival. I began the festivities tonight with the World
Premiere of A Simple Plan - directed by Sam Raimi and starring Bill Paxton,
Billy Bob Thornton and Bridgette Fonda. It is based on the book of the
same name by first time author Scott Smith and it's about 2 brothers and a
buddy who stumble upon $4 million in a downed plane in the middle of the
forest and then decide to keep it. Of course that's exactly when the
trouble begins! A tense thriller with a lot of laughs. This is a big
departure for Raimi whos other credits include Evil Dead, Darkman and The
Quick and the Dead. Paxton was good but Billy Bob certainly stole the show
as the loser brother. Raimi, Paxton and Thornton were all at the premiere
and gave us their comments at the begining. Raimi started by asking if
anyone lost a roll of twenties kept together by an elastic band - then said
that he found the elastic band...! He was surprised at the size of the
audience - I'm not sure if he was surprised that Roy Thompson Hall was
large or that it was full of people wanting to see his movie. Billy Bob
looked strange in real life - not dressed up and Paxton apologized that
Fonda couldn't be here and that they were a good team. He said that he was
really proud of this film and hoped that we liked it. Well - the film
definitely was a great time - and if you've read the book there will still
be some surprises for you! Enjoy - I give this one an easy 92%. More Film
Fest to come....
Jay the Movieman
movieman@netcom.ca
[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
[ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1998 23:44:22 +0900
From: Honwa Chau <nihonitchy@ibm.net>
Subject: [MV] pretty woman
The film was written by J. F. Lawton, who also wrote "Under Siege,"
which starred Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey and Steven Segal and was
directed by Andrew Davis.
Although "Under Siege" and "Pretty Woman" may seem like night and day,
Lawton apparently wrote a more serious story that was sweetened by
Marshall into a romantic comedy.
itchy
[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
[ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1998 15:52:14 -0400
From: maillist@moviejuice.com
Subject: [MV] MovieJuice! - Week of September 13, 1998
SIMON BIRCH - BIRCH DEFECTS
http://www.moviejuice.com
by Mark Ramsey
September 13, 1998
In preparation for Simon Birch, I decided to brush up on my studies of flora and fauna. There's birch and oak and maple and pine, for starters. And what they all have in common is they grow REALLY SLOWLY. In fact, by the end of two Birch-filled hours, I'm in full support of global deforestation. I was so itchy I wanted to saw that kid in half because counting the rings would be more interesting than suffering this dialogue.
Simon Birch is a tiny sick kid played by real-life tiny sick kid Otowumba Nngolooma. Otowumba, whose African roots were cleverly disguised by special effects, heard about Brad Pitt's commitment to realism by chipping his teeth for a role, so he injected himself with a fatal dose of terminal cuteness, last used by the little girl in Hope Floats and siphoned directly from the jugular vein of that kid in Jerry Maguire.
Besides this illness, however, Otowumba also suffers from a disease called "Exploitatious Hollywoodus." Wouldn't the money dumped into this flick have been better invested in Jerry's Kids than in this gratuitous exercise in foul-mouthed 12-year old banter? Isn't it cute when sickly kids (or healthy ones for that matter) talk about boobs? "My balls just turned to raisins," says Simon. Awwwww! Cute! More detail than I wanted, pal.
But Simon is not just sickly, foul-mouthed, and horny. He's also very spiritual; an "instrument of God." Taken together, this combination qualifies him either for premature death or for the Presidency. And who wouldn't choose premature death?
Otowumba was discovered in a traveling circus show. When his carnival sidekick removes his upper torso, it seems, there are ever smaller Otowumbas inside, thus allowing Hollywood a range of models to choose from just like the friendly folks down at Beverly Hills BMW. In fact, back in the early 80's, Xerox attached a rope to Otowumba, put a button on his back, and slid him along a wrestling mat as an early model for what computer users now call a "mouse." The model for "floppy disks" was Pamela Anderson Lee, but that's another story.
Little sickly wise-ass Simon is a big trouble-maker in this flick. He does almost nothing but drives the adults batty anyway. As the minister tells him, "We need a break from you, Simon." What kind of lame-ass Mayberry juvenile delinquency is this? Beware, Simon, or you'll be sharing a cell with Otis the drunk. Coming up next: Simon joins the Jets in West Side Story and Simon wraps unauthorized masking tape around the nose bridge of his glasses. Damn rebel!
Believe it or not Jim Carrey's in this movie, proving not only that he can make movies that aren't funny, but movies that aren't any good at all. Narrates Jim: "Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with. It responds like a snail to your impatience." You got that right, baby. Why not put that line on the movie poster: "Simon Birch: It responds like a snail to your impatience."
Did I mention that Ashley Judd's in this movie? She plays the best looking gal in town. And from the looks of this town, the runner up has four legs. Her beau is played by the unlikeliest casting call of the year: Oliver Platt. Oliver Platt?? With Ashley Judd?? Dapper Ollie, who looks like the bastard son of Gary Cooper and Oliver Hardy, has died and gone to casting heaven! And if that's not unbelievable enough, Ollie plays a drama teacher who's STRAIGHT, thus making him rare as the Hope diamond but not nearly as well cut.
According to the opening credits, this movie wasn't based on a book, it was "suggested by" a book. Just what does that mean? Did the book call its agent? Was there arm-twisting involved, or just page-turning? If this flick can be "suggested by" a book, can it be "ignored by" the audience?
Simon Birch was made for a different era. They don't make 'em like this anymore, and who can blame 'em? No wonder the studio sought a script polish from long dead scribe Preston Sturges who refused, saying he's working on a script for the third movie based on runner Steve Prefontaine, because - in the words of Sturges - "there can never be enough movies about runner Steve Prefontaine."
One thing good about this movie: It follows all the Screenwriter's Rules. Such as:
1. When the baseball moves in slo-mo, that means the batter's gonna hit it
2. When the kid doesn't know who his dad is, it's got to be one of the stars
3. A nagging cough means death is near
4. Old folks always die before the final reel
5. The extensive use of foreshadowing allows the audience to see everything that matters before it matters so we can all leave early, missing nothing
And why did they change the kid's name from Owen Meany (in the book) to Simon Birch? Oh to Hell with it, who cares. I can't wait for this movie to hit video, DVD, and Laserdisc so I can avoid renting it in as many formats as possible. Will someone please install a countdown timer above the exit sign in this theater. Or at least turn up the lights so I can find a gun and shoot myself.
Simon Birch is blah.
Copyright 1998 Mark Ramsey. All rights reserved. NO PORTION MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR.
********************
SHAMELESS PITCH:
Anyone who misses an opportunity to see the revamped Orson Welles Classic "Touch of Evil" should have their frickin' head examined. Run, don't walk, to the theater when it comes to your town. It'll make you stand up and cheer. You'll feel ten feet tall. And all that other stuff Joel Siegel always says. But God bless Joel, because he's signed up to the MovieJuice list.
********************
Hey, kids, don't forget to visit the MovieJuice! Site at http://www.moviejuice.com. The pictures are half the fun (and sometimes more than half the laughs)!
********************
TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS LIST:
DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL! Just go to http://www.moviejuice.com and follow the directions at the top of the left frame. It's very easy. NOTE: YOUR NAME CANNOT BE REMOVED FROM THE LIST UNLESS YOU UNSUBSCRIBE USING THE EMAIL ADDRESS YOU REGISTERED WITH). And don't write me lots of mean-spirited crap. I won't read it.
********************
IF YOUR LINES AREN'T WRAPPING
If the lines extend way off into the right horizon, then look to your browser or email software for a setting called "Wrap Long Lines." Now, if your lines aren't RAPPING, then you should consider that normal.
[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
[ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1998 21:13:50 EDT
From: FTWeekly00@aol.com
Subject: [MV] Film Threat Weekly : 9-14-98 : Slate II, Take 38
FILM THREAT WEEKLY
"Hollywood's Indie Voice of the New Millennium"
=============================
Slate II, Take 38 : September 14th, 1998
=============================
http://www.filmthreat.com
=============================
"Oh, those idiot producers! Those imbeciles! Haven't they got any eyes?
Have they forgotten what a star looks like?"
- - Gloria Swanson vowing a screen return in "Sunset Boulevard"
