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exotica-digest        Saturday, August 12 2000        Volume 02 : Number 780



In This Digest:

Re: (exotica)Design Record Label / Bedazzled on tv
(exotica) jew's harp links
(exotica) what ruined music
(exotica) Fwd: Dean Elliot
(exotica) Miss Abrams and her 4th Grade Class
(exotica) Twilight of the Tikis (what ruined music)
(exotica) Wildwood
Re: (exotica) What ruined music?
Re: (exotica) what ruined music
Re: (exotica) Philip Glass
Re: (exotica) what ruined music/Capitalism in fiction
(exotica) Twilight of the Tikis (Act two)
(exotica) Retro Cocktail Hour
Re: (exotica) Twilight of the Tikis (what ruined music)
(exotica) Caroline Now! on Marina
(exotica) recent finds
Re: (exotica) Towa of Bebel
(exotica) Hotel Easy
Re: (exotica) recent finds - D&D
(exotica) Tikidammerung

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Aug 2000 18:53:26 -0400
From: Brian Phillips <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: (exotica)Design Record Label / Bedazzled on tv

>Bedazzled on tv.  YEAH!  Don't you live in Canada?  I can never find that
>film on the tele in the US.  However the remake is coming to theatres soon
>(AHHHHHHHRRRRRRGGGGG!!!!)   Wish they'd just rerelease the original or
>atleast put it out on a damn videotape.  GREAT MOVIE!

Good News: A&E showed it recently.
Bad News: They cut the Dremble Wedge and the Vegetation segment, leaving
only screaming women chasing the devil after Stanley sings his song.
Worse News:  I see the video going on Ebay for 56 bucks!
Better News: You can probably rent it here
http://www.mdle.com/ClassicFilms/FeaturedVideo/ebrandt.htm  These people
KNOW their movies.  They are also very nice and you can rent across state
lines.

Brian Phillips





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------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Aug 2000 19:12:56 -0400
From: [e-mail]
Subject: (exotica) jew's harp links

Didn't someone recently ask (in passing) about jew's harps?

Here's the dictionary def:
JEWÆS HARP (possibly a corruption of "jawÆs harp"), musical instrument in which a small frame flanks a narrow, flexible tongue attached at one end to the frame. The frame is held against the teeth near the free end of the tongue, which is set in vibration by various methods. The tongue produces only one tone; when the shape of the playerÆs mouth cavity is altered, various harmonics (component tones) of this fundamental tone are made prominent. The harmonic series produced is the same as that of a trumpet.

JewÆs harps of India and, at least since about 1350, of Europe have onion-shaped forged-iron frames that narrow to two protruding arms; a separate tongue is affixed to the frame. The player twangs the free end of the tongue with a finger. Clothespin-shaped jewÆs harps with the frame and tongue cut of the same piece of bamboo are found in Oceania (often sounded by jerking a cord attached to the instrument). In Southeast Asian jewÆs harps, probably the oldest form, the narrow, rectangular frame (of bamboo or, rarely, sheet metal) completely surrounds the free end of the tongue, which is vibrated by plucking a tab on the flexible frame.
- --------

If you can cram this URL into your browser you'll find more pages on the subject than you can reasonably hope to visit.


http://www.ussc.alltheweb.com/cgi-bin/search?exec=FAST+Search&type=all&query=%22jew%27s+harp%22

Not jaw's harp but related is throat singing - here's a great article on the subject:
http://www.sciam.com/1999/0999issue/0999levin.html


Lou
[e-mail]


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------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Aug 2000 23:18:21 GMT
From: "Paul Thomas" <[e-mail]>
Subject: (exotica) what ruined music

Nat wrote:
"Marketing of records forced music into categories.  The black musicians
made "blues" records and the white ones made "country records".
~~>These were categorized as 'race records'. Black musicians played blues
and hot jazz, white musicians played fox-trots. There wasn't much crossover
allowed ... that's why a lot of white jazz/hot dance bands tend to sound
like poor imitations on recordings, tho they may have been on par with their
black counterparts.

Mo wrote: "...where is the Karl Marx of today?"
~~> To paraphrase Joseph Conrad ... 'Mista Marx ... him dead.' There is no
one of Marx's scale and depth writing today. The closest may be Tom Wolfe in
a certain sense. But no one is writing about music, economics, the popular
novel and home decorations all at one go like Marx and Nietzsche did. Too
bad because we could certainly use that illuminting sensibility today.

  What I object to about contemporary Modernism is it sheer ugliness and
lack of sophistication and the disconnection with the past. Which is a view
shared, I feel, by others and explains why people are buying craftsman style
homes and doing them up in 'period' decor ... at least it isn't all that
soul-less Ikea stuff.

  ~~paul~~



Shake the Twentieth Century Blues at
    Paul's Modernistic World!
http://www.homestead.com/paulsmodernworld/entry.html

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------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Aug 2000 20:51:15 -0400
From: [e-mail]
Subject: (exotica) Fwd: Dean Elliot

Irwin Chusid has asked me to post this request for info to the E-list.
Please respond directly to him at [e-mail] .
Thanks all,
Lou
[e-mail]
* * * *

[Sorry to intrude, inasmuch as I'm not on the list.]

Does anyone have biographical information on Dean Elliot (_Zounds! What
Sounds!_)?

I've been told that an interview with him was published in the last few
years, but cannot confirm what -- if any -- publication ran it.

I'd especially like to know if Elliot is still alive, and where to contact
him.

Please answer *off-list*. Thanks.

Irwin Chusid
<[e-mail]>


- --

SONGS IN THE KEY OF Z:
THE CURIOUS UNIVERSE OF OUTSIDER MUSIC
http://www.keyofz.com/





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------------------------------

Date: Fri, 11 Aug 2000 21:57:49 EDT
From: [e-mail]
Subject: (exotica) Miss Abrams and her 4th Grade Class

Here is a recently CD reissue I spotted which I am amazed was given this
"honor"

Miss Abrams and the Strawberry Point 4th Grade Class from Mill Valley,
California.

Some of you may recall their obscure pop tune "Mill Valley" which came out
around 1970 or so.

Teacher Miss Abrams and her fourth graders.  Singing.  About their hometown,
picturesque Mill Valley, just a few minutes north of San Francisco.  They
made an album and had a brief day in the sun.

The complete album.

Now on CD.

?

:)



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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 04:29:51 GMT
From: "Paul Thomas" <[e-mail]>
Subject: (exotica) Twilight of the Tikis (what ruined music)

I think we should rename the 'what ruined music' thread Twilight of the
Tikis (which could also be a tune by Martin Denny) or, generally,
Gotterdamerung.

  Here's a list of books on Contemporary Culture pro and con:

  anything by Harold Bloom ~~> tho I disagree with him thoroughly, its fun
to listen to Professor Bloom rave abou things have gotten worse since 1870.

  Decline of the West by Oswald Spengler ~~> Give up! All is lost!

  Geneology of Morals, Twilight of the Idols, The Birth of Tragedy by
Friedrich Nietzsche ~~> Strike out on your own and you will triumph in the
end. Follow along and be lost.

  Sexual Personnae by Camille Paglia ~~> The Egyptians we the most Modern
civilization of all beside which we are just pale imitators. I think she's
spot on as a cultural critic.

  The End of History by Francis Fukiyama ~~> Why bother any more ... its all
been done (and done better) before.

  The Rites of Spring by Modes Exsteins ~~> Modernism began and ended with
Stravinsky's Rite of Spring.

  All this is best read with heaps of Wagner playing in the background (or
anything by The Supremes or Madonna for Paglia).

  ~~>Frankly, I think contemporary culture is just a re-hash of Dadaism from
1923.

   ~~Paul~~
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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 04:09:21
From: [e-mail]
Subject: (exotica) Wildwood

[e-mail] wrote:

>I'm thinking of taking a little trip down to Wildwood, NJ in the next
couple of weeks.
I remember someone on the list talking about this place as a cool place to
see some 50s/60s Americana.  Can anyone who knows this place maybe email me
off-list with more info - e.g. places to stay, other recommendations?

While I live pretty close to Wildwood and have gone there throughout my
life, I haven't been there for about 5 years. I'm a little afraid to go
back and see what changes may be going on (though I'm not trying to
dissuade you from seeing it).

In the last few years there has been a movement to celebrate their '50s
motel architecture, now officially designated as the "Doo Wop" style. A
recent article on this effort in the Philadelphia Inquirer was illustrated
by three photos -- all of them of new, fake retro (and extremely tacky)
businesses, like the Rolling Stones/big lips themed Memory Motel (don't
these people even know the difference between the '50s and the '70s??). If,
like me, you are allergic to ceramic miniature diners, this is a worrisome
trend. I find that renewed economic development is the greatest danger to
preservation. Ironically, Wildwood's new economic development is being
fueled by nostalgia, but that won't necessarily save what is best about the
place.

However, there should still be a lot of the real thing there to enjoy
(though many of my favorite memories -- like most of an especially old
amusement pier, another very old amusement area on the boardwalk with an
old wooden roller coaster and an arcade with really old machines, an
aquatic thrill show attraction, Cozy Morley's nightclub, and a great old
open-air steak sandwich stand that was next to Cozy's, with appealing
yellow lights and faded old publicity photos of '50s musicians, have been
gone for years).

I hear the Lollipop Motel (one of the classic kitschy '50s theme motels) is
a good place to stay.

Also, check out Philadelphia rockabilly king Charlie Gracie (of the '50s
hit "Butterfly"), who plays every weekend afternoon at Moore's Inlet in
North Wildwood. I doubt if there's a cover.

There is a large, lavish photo history book that came out last year, called
something like WILDWOOD-BY-THE-SEA. It is incredibly extensive on the
history of the boardwalk, but oddly has almost nothing on the colorful
motels that have been generating so much renewed interest in Wildwood lately.

At least much of Wildwood's boardwalk and motels survive for now, unlike in
Atlantic City, where almost all of a century's worth of history has been
bulldozed by the frightening economic force of the casinos, who completely
run the town and get all of their demolition wishes granted. However, if
your travels take you past A.C., do make a stop at the famous White House
Sub Shop (I think it's on Arctic Avenue, or maybe Baltic), with better
steaks and hoagies than anywhere in Philadelphia, and amazing photos on the
wall (look for pic of the Beatles eating their food -- which is reproduced
in the very wonderful book ATLANTIC CITY: 125 YEARS OF OCEAN MADNESS). Then
drive through Margate (a suburb just South of Atlantic City) to see
beautiful old summer homes of rich Philadelphians, and Lucy The Elephant,
one of the great iconic buildings of the East Coast.

Ocean City, between A.C. and Wildwood, is another nice old seaside town
with a fun boardwalk and many early twentieth century buildings (although
it's fanciest, oldest hotel closed a few years ago, to be made into a
senior home).





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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 14:11:18 +0200
From: Moritz R <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: (exotica) What ruined music?

I'm not sure, if I understood your last point.

alan zweig wrote:

> In other words, "capitalists" are so pathetically ignorant and
> inefficient when it comes to figuring out what will sell, that you can
> hardly blame them for anything.  They just hoist it up the flagpole - all
> of it - and wait to see how many buyers salute.

Capitalism, for me that's mainly the competition society and the fact that I have
to sell my labour. If you take a closer look at my last post you read: "Freedom
of choice for consumers means it (freedom)'s getting less for producers and makes
the world worse for all of us. " So I didn't blame the capitalists for
everything. We all are capitalists; but that's why we can't give our products
away for free, even if we had a really big heart and wanted to let everybody
participate in the results of our work. It's also the reason why the internet,
that started as a free exchange of ideas is getting so tight lately. I don't know
any alternative to capitalism that I could really recommend, though, so maybe
this discussion is worthless. So I stop now, too.

Mo




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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 14:12:02 +0200
From: Moritz R <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: (exotica) what ruined music

Paul Thomas wrote:

> But no one is writing about music, economics, the popular
> novel and home decorations all at one go like Marx and Nietzsche did. Too
> bad because we could certainly use that illuminting sensibility today.

Exactely. It would take a lifetime of work to acomplish something like
that. It
seems to be a big project. Very big. But if nobody uses his/her brain
anymore,
then the machines win.

> What I object to about contemporary Modernism is it sheer ugliness and
> lack of sophistication and the disconnection with the past.

That's why Post-modernism came up, being very decorative, sophisticated
and
connected to all kinds of pasts, just what you demand. And since some 15
years
or so. Funny you recommend a connection with the past: I'm reading a
book by a
Krishnamurti, called "Freedom from the Known", who recommends the exact
opposite. He claims, everything we know and believe is only chains that
hold us
back and make us obey to society's rule etc. I find it quite amazing...

Mo



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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 23:03:51 +1000
From: Philip Jackson <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: (exotica) Philip Glass

on 12/8/00 12:53 AM, Paul Thomas at [e-mail] wrote:

> Regarding Philip Glass ~~~
>
>
> There is no 'bad' Philip Glass. It's all fabulous.

His orchestration of the Aphex Twin track "ICCT Hedral" is rather good too.

BTW I saw "Einstein On The Beach" performed live in a full operatic staging
in Melbourne a few years back and it was wonderful.

Philip

- --




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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 08:17:27 -0500
From: [e-mail] (Mimi Mayer)
Subject: Re: (exotica) what ruined music/Capitalism in fiction

Paul Thomas wrote:
>~~> To paraphrase Joseph Conrad ... 'Mista Marx ... him dead.' There is no
>one of Marx's scale and depth writing today. The closest may be Tom Wolfe i=
n
>a certain sense. But no one is writing about music, economics, the popular
>novel and home decorations all at one go like Marx and Nietzsche did. Too
>bad because we could certainly use that illuminting sensibility today.

Try Richard Powers' novel, Gain (Ferrar, Straus & Giroux, 98). Not much
music in the book, though it gets into economics, storytelling, biography,
marketing, mass culture, medicine, gardening, transformation of Zeitgeist,
and more about soap than you ever thought you'd know. Traces the rise of an
1800s cottage manufactury into a contemporary chemical conglomerate.
Counterpoint: a woman who contracts cancer. Not a happy tale but a very
shrewd one. Powers is astonishing.
Mimi




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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 14:14:42 GMT
From: "Paul Thomas" <[e-mail]>
Subject: (exotica) Twilight of the Tikis (Act two)

...Twilight of the Tikis, Act two...

    In which Brunnehilde immolate herself upon Siegfried's rekkid collection
while the Last Trader Vic's of the Gods is destroyed. Special theremin
interlude performed by Miss Nelly Aglet R.A.T.S. (Royal Academy of Theremin
Soloists).

Okeh, I promise not to drag out any more critical theory books from my
library, but here are a few more books on the 'what ruined ...' subject.

   Guide to Kulchur by Ezra Pound ~~> you can't create the 'new' without a
grounding in the Classics.

   Understanding Media and The Gutenberg Galaxy by Marshall MacLuhan ~~> The
'Global Village' and media manipulation. He was right all along.

   From Bauhaus to Our House and The Painted Word by Tom Wolfe ~~> Bauhaus:
how the 'machine for living' became the ugly urban strip mall. Painted Word
is a slam at Clement Greenberg and the Abstract Im/Expressionists of the 60s
and 70s. Art as slave to the critic.

   Against Interpretation by Susan Sontag ~~> the 'Notes on Camp' essay is
still brilliant today.

   anything by R. Buckminster Fuller ~~> how to co-exist on the planet
without all the New Age mush.

   I'll stop now.

   ~~Paul~~

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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 09:33:43 -0500
From: "Darrell Brogdon" <[e-mail]>
Subject: (exotica) Retro Cocktail Hour

On this week's Retro Cocktail Hour webcast, we'll preview "Bullitt",
the new CD featuring music from Steve McQueen's 1968 cop thriller.
Lalo Schifrin's ultra-cool score has been newly recorded by the WDR
Big Band and is available on Lalo's own Aleph Records.  Tune in the
live webcast at 7:00pm Central time tonight for a chance to win FREE
copies of "Bullitt"!

Also on the show, the Now Sounds of The Corporation (Dick Hyman, Phil
Kraus, Vinnie Bell, et al);  bossa nova by organist Ed Lincoln and
Astrud Gilberto;  ace percussionist Carlos Vidal from his very rare
"Congo Drums", also featuring bongocero Mike Pacheco;  the "13
fingers of Sir Julian";  and tunes by Les Maledictus Sound, Arling
and Cameron, Les Baxter, Group 1, Kenyon Hopkins and Russ Garcia.

To hear The Retro Cocktail Hour on the Web, just visit:

http://kanu.ukans.edu/retro.html

Or tune in for the live webcast (and your chance to win a free copy
of "Bullitt"!) tonight at 7:00 Central time at:

http://kanu.ukans.edu/realaudio/index.htm

As always, your comments and suggestions are welcome.

Thanks for the space!

Darrell Brogdon
[e-mail]
The Retro Cocktail Hour
KANU Radio
Broadcasting Hall
The University of Kansas
Lawrence, KS 66045
Visit The Retro Cocktail Hour at:
http://kanu.ukans.edu/retro.html
Listen to The Retro Cocktail Hour at:
http://kanu.ukans.edu/retrolisten.html


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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 11:01:44 -0500
From: Matt Marchese <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: (exotica) Twilight of the Tikis (what ruined music)

Paul Thomas wrote:

> I think we should rename the 'what ruined music' thread Twilight of the
> Tikis (which could also be a tune by Martin Denny) or, generally,
> Gotterdamerung.

I'd like to produce this, but I'll have to insist on casting the ghost of
Screamin' Jay Hawkins in the role Siegfried. Les Baxter's chapped ass can have a
minor role as one of the Niebilungen.

> Sexual Personnae by Camille Paglia ~~> The Egyptians we the most Modern
> civilization of all beside which we are just pale imitators. I think she's
> spot on as a cultural critic.

A truly great gender work of cultural, spiritual, literary, and emotional
analysis. Anyone who can use the phrase "Chthonic ooze" in a sentence wins my
undying admiration..

>  ~~>Frankly, I think contemporary culture is just a re-hash of Dadaism from
> 1923.

Tschah, yah...and then Kurt Schwitters'll fly out of my butt...


- --
Matt Marchese
[e-mail]
http://reality.sgi.com/mattm_americas/
"Lucky Fruit, the dried corpse is horrible!" -Peacock King
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*




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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 18:38:55 +0200
From: Moritz R <[e-mail]>
Subject: (exotica) Caroline Now! on Marina

Marina has put out a new compilation recently of cover-versions of the
rather rare Brian Wilson tunes. It's called Caroline Now! and I think
it's a great compilation. At first listening I was a bit disappointed as
only a few of the arrangers seemed to attempt to dress up Wilson's
compositions in contemporary clothes. But then the CD grew enormously
each time I listened to it. It's in fact the best example I can think of
to disprove those pessimistic voices, who think music was better then
than it is now, as this compilation is full of skillful arrangements and
subtle vocals and instrument playing all the way. Please check out
http://www.marina.com for details! Sorry, if I sound like the PR
department of Marina sometimes, but I just really love what they do in
most cases.

Mo






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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 16:26:21 -0400 (EDT)
From: Bruce Lenkei <[e-mail]>
Subject: (exotica) recent finds

Found a bunch of stuff over the past week or so....

Sid Ramin, Soundtrack to the move Stiletto.
Except for one or two sleepy, romantic tunes, this thing is amazing. Track
after track of funky late 60s crime-wave, chase-scene music. The one vocal
tune is a delightfully cheesy samba-ish thing with such horrible lyrics,
that I cant help but love it.

Edmond De Luca, Safari
Sort of a Les Baxter imitation. A big orchestra does jungle sounding
tunes. Lots of drumming and chanting, with gunshots thrown in on one
track. Its pretty good record.

The Sleepwalk guitars of Dan and Dale, Themes from Goldfinger and Zorba
the Greek.
I've never heard of these guys. Are they some kind of Santo and Johnny
rip-off? I expected this to be pretty bad, but surprisingly, its quite
nice. Sort of like the Ventures, but with a lot of organ flying around,
which is always a good thing IMO.

Marty Gold, Wired for Sound
A bit better than a lot of other Gold stuff Ive heard. Higher than Fi was
a big disapointment for me. The ratio of interesting tunes to sleepy dull
stuff on this one is overwhelmingly on the interesting side. Odd, funny
arrangements and strange instrumentation even on the slow moving
songs. Quite nice. Maybe its because Sid Ramin helps out on this one, I
dont know.

Music from the TV show One Step Beyond
Cool metallic foil cover! Some of the songs like Fear and Weird are
great. Moody, strange and creepy little tunes. But theres also a good
amount of un-strange filler stuff like Paris, You are my Love and Bygone
Memories.

Edmundo Ros, Ros on Broadway
This is the earliest Ros record I've found, from 1957. Latin-ized versions
of show tunes of course. Nothing super wild or crazy, but almost every
song is pretty good, and a lot of the arrangements are above average. No
singing from Edmundo. A big plus.

Edmundo Ros, La Bamba
A lot of the songs here were made famous by Herb Alpert, whose versions I
prefer over these. This album just isnt as good as other Ros stuff I have.

- - bruce


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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 20:51:36 -0500
From: cheryl <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: (exotica) Towa of Bebel

I was really looking forward to seeing her - not only is she touring,
but she was performing at the Montreal Jazz Festival - in a free outdoor
show!!  So we arrange to get a babysitter, head out for a lovely
evening, get to the festival site for 10 pm, when she's supposed to
start, only to discover that they decided to move the show an hour
earlier.  So we caught about the last 30 seconds of the concert...oh,
well... (but at least we saw Czerkinsky at the Francofolies last week,
and that was free, too - can't complain.  We even took Alexander to that
one, but he thought it was too loud!).

cheryl


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Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 21:07:51 -0500
From: cheryl <[e-mail]>
Subject: (exotica) Hotel Easy

Just found three of the four "Hotel Easy" compilations, and (of course)
just had to buy them! I am wondering if this series is even still in
print (I found it in a shop where they had likely been sitting for quite
a while...) Anyone know where I can find "St. Tropez", the one I'm
missing?

thanks,

cheryl


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Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 21:43:27 -0400
From: "m.ace" <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: (exotica) recent finds - D&D

>The Sleepwalk guitars of Dan and Dale, Themes from Goldfinger and Zorba
>the Greek.
>I've never heard of these guys. Are they some kind of Santo and Johnny
>rip-off? I expected this to be pretty bad, but surprisingly, its quite
>nice. Sort of like the Ventures, but with a lot of organ flying around,
>which is always a good thing IMO.

Is this on Tifton, like the "Sensational Guitars Of Dan & Dale" Batman
album (the one cut by Sun Ra and The Blues Project)?

I've always wondered about the saga of "Dan & Dale" -- there do seem to be
an undetermined number of albums under that name. It always struck me like
it started off as a Santo & Johnny cash-in, and then the label (labels?
which labels?) applied the name to whatever batch of tapes fell through the
mailslot next. Was there ever a real Dan & Dale? Or was it always just a
name applied to anonymous studio players?

Anyone? Please?

thanks,

m.ace  [e-mail]
http://ookworld.com
http://ookworld.com/linkalog/


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Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 20:41:52 -0500
From: Matt Marchese <[e-mail]>
Subject: (exotica) Tikidammerung

Thanks to Mr. Thomas for the snappy condensation of Twilight of the Tikis and
Gotterdammerung. After we conspired a bit offline, I felt compelled to flesh out the
cast and synopsis a bit more. Enjoy.

Tikidammerung: The Twilight of the Tiki Gods
********************************************

Producer: Paul Thomas
Director: Matt Marchese

Cast
****

Siegfried: Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Wotan: Martin Denny
Loge: Les Baxter
Fricka: Yma Sumac
Froh: Jean Jacques Perrey
Freia: Julie London
Donner: Tom Jones
Erda: Camille Paglia
Brunnhilde: Mama Cass Elliot
King of the Mau Mau: Little Richard
Hagen: Sir Paul McCartney
Gunther: Todd Rundgren
Gutrun: Karen Carpenter
Mime: Esquivel
Albericht: Serge Gainsbourg
The Valkyries: Madonna, Britney Spears, LeAnn Rimes, Ashley Judd, Li'l Kim,
Christina Aguilera, Salt 'N' Pepa
The Norns: Marianne Faithful, Anita Pallenberg, Jerry Hall
The Merseymaidens: Lulu, Dusty Springfield, Petula Clark

Synopsis
********

Prologue

Scene: Night on the Valkyrie's concert stage

The three Norns are weaving the Rope of Destiny and reflecting on the past, present,
and future of popular music. The first Norn thinks on the earliest times when Wotan
drank at the spring of melody and fashioned his spear from a branch of the Mango
Tree, the tree to which the Norns' rope was tied. That tree has now died, so they
tie the rope to an ordinary pine tree instead. The second Norn secures the other end
of the rope to a rock and tells how Wotan's spear was shattered and that now he has
ordered that the branches of the Mango Tree be piled around the Quiet Village as a
funeral pyre. The third Norn tells how Loge's fire will one day consume the Quiet
Village and the gods who live within it; Wotan, Fricka, Froh, Donner, and Freia.
They examine the rope but cannot tell more as it has frayed and tangled. They sink
into the earth back to Erda their mother. As they disappear from sight into the
Chthonic Ooze, the only sound that can be heard is the ferocious clacking of their
vagina dentata.

Day breaks and Siegfried and Brunnhilde emerge from their cave. They exchange gifts.
He gives her the pair of magic zebraskin shoes that enable their wearer to top the
Billboard charts forever, and she gives him a bite of her magic ham sandwich that
makes the one who consumes it immortal. Siegfried sets off on a journey down the
Mersey River.

Act 1

Gunther and Gutrune sit with their half brother Hagen in the ancestral home of the
Mau Mau, Ratskeller Hall on the banks of the Mersey. Gunther says he is concerned
that the name of their family is waning. Hagen suggests that their fame and honor
might be preserved if Gunther were to marry Brunnhilde the Valkyrie who sleeps on
the Valkyrie's stage in a bathtub filled with chocolate pudding. Hagen goes on to
suggest that Gutrune could marry Siegfried who now possesses Albericht and Mime's
hoard of hard-carton mentholated Kools, thereby gaining both a hero and a treasure.
In addition, Siegfried is the only hero strong enough to breach the fire that
surrounds the Quiet Village. As they sit planning, Siegfried comes into view on his
raft, they hail him and make him welcome, Gutrune offers him a drink of Alligator
Wine which Hagen has drugged; the effect of the drink causes Siegfried to forget
Brunnhilde and fall in love with Gutrune. Gunther and Siegfried pledge blood
brotherhood by pricking their thumbs, showing each other their weiners, and drinking
a half-can of warm Lowenbrau that Gunther found at the local kegeling alley. Gunther
then outlines his plan to capture Brunnhilde by luring her out of the bathtub while
posing naked covered with leberkaese. Siegfried promises to help in this venture.
Gunther and Siegfried sail of in search of Brunnhilde. Hagen reveals that he is not
the true son of the King of the Mau Mau, but is in fact the son of Albericht. He
further declares that his only intention is to regain the magic pair of zebraskin
shoes so that he can rule the world of music for all eternity.

On the stage, Brunnhilde is visited by her sister Valkyries who tell her the sad
tale of how the gods are all huddled together in the Quiet Village waiting for their
end. They ask Brunnhilde to give the magic shoes back to the Merseymaidens, but she
refuses to do so saying that it is Siegfried's love token and she will not part with
it. The sisters leave in despair.

Siegfried's horn is heard and Brunnhilde prepares to greet her returning lover, only
Siegfried has used his magic skull on a stick "Henry" to make himself appear in the
guise of Gunther. He tells her that he claims her as his bride, grabs the shoes from
off her feet, and orders her into the bathtub. He then swears an oath that his
"Little Demon" will lie forever between him and the bride of his blood brother.

Act 2

It is night. Hagen is asleep outside the Ratskeller Hall. Albericht appears to him
in a dream, smoking Gitanes, and butt-naked except for a little black beret; he
reminds Hagen to only write silly love songs full of sexual innuendo and to work
tirelessly to regain the shoes. Albericht eventually runs out of Gitanes and
disappears as the frogs along the banks of the river begin croaking at dawn. Shortly
afterwards Siegfried appears; he has used Henry to travel from the Valkyrie stage
magically. He tells Hagen and Gutrune how early that morning he brought Brunnhilde
to the river where Gunther was waiting on his raft and then managed to slip away and
leave Brunnhilde with the real Gunther. Hagen calls his vassals together and tells
them to prepare for the double wedding feast of the Mau Mau by cutting the fat off
the back of a baboon, boiling it down with a spoon, and scooping out the eye of a
fly flying backwards. He also tells them to came armed for battle and that it may be
necessary to defend Gunther's wife. Gunther's raft arrives and the men greet Gunther
and Brunnhilde. When Brunnhilde sees that Siegfried is betrothed to Gutrune and is
wearing the shoes which were taken from her the previous night, she realizes how she
has been tricked and accuses Siegfried of treachery both to herself and to his blood
brother Gunther. Siegfried is till under the influence of Gutrune's drug and so he
remembers nothing of meeting Brunnhilde previously. To avoid compromising Gunther,
he denies his part in winning his bride for him and swears his innocence on the
point of Hagen's spear. Brunnhilde redoubles her accusations and dedicates Hagen's
spear as the destroyer of the deceiver. Siegfried calms the onlookers with great
difficulty and invites them all to join in the feast of the Mau Mau. Hagen, Gunther,
and Brunnhilde stay behind. Hagen persuades the now humiliated Gunther that
Siegfried must die and and hints as to how much power the shoes will bring Gunther.
Brunnhilde agrees with the plan and also tells Hagen to strike at Siegfried's
exposed ass, as that is the only part of his body that is vulnerable. To spare
Gutrune's feelings they will make the death look like a hunting accident.

Act 3.

The next morning a hunting party has been assembled. During the hunt, Siegfried gets
separated from the party and meets the Merseymaidens while wandering along the banks
of the river. They beg him for the shoes; at first he agrees to give them to the
maidens, but when they tell him of the shoes' curse and predict his death that very
day, he changes his mind. The maidens leave and go to find Brunnhilde who they say
will inherit the treasure of Kools. Gunther, Hagen and Siegfried eventually meet up
again and Hagen prompts Siegfried to recount his many deeds to cheer up Gunther who
appears downcast. Siegfried tells of his childhood with Mime; how he and Mime would
stroll along the beach checking out the mucha muchachas and singing, "zu-zu-zu
SPROING!", and how Brunnhilde put the Wamee on him by Casting a Spell that drove him
into a Frenzy. At this point Hagen gives him a drink with a herb in to restore his
memory. Siegfried then goes on to tell how he jumped into Brunnhilde's bathtub and
eat all of the chocolate pudding, which cured his Constipation Blues and allowed him
to win her for his wife. Gunther is alarmed at Siegfried's shameless appropriation
of song titles to move the narrative along, and Hagen thrusts his spear into
Siegfried's ass while he isn't looking. The dying Siegfried takes leave of
Brunnhilde. The vassals place his body on his shield and carry it back to Ratskeller
Hall.

Gutrune is awaiting Siegfried's return; when she sees that he is dead she accuses
her brothers of his murder, kneels by her dead lover and sings, "We'd Only Just
Begun" before running off into the woods to commit suicide through self-induced
vomiting. Hagen proudly defends his part in the deed and claims the magic shoes for
himself. Gunther contests the claim, they fight, and Hagen kills Gunther. Hagen is
about to take the shoes when Siegfried's dead feet rise in a threatening gesture.
Hagen falls back horrified.

Brunnhilde appears, she has learnt the whole story from the Merseymaidens. She
commands the men to build a huge funeral pyre for Siegfried. She takes the shoes
which she will return to the maidens after the fire has removed their curse. She
calls to the pink flamingos, Wotan's messengers, and bids them take a message that
the event he has been waiting for is about to take place, and on the way they are to
go by the Valkyrie stage and tell Loge, who is there nursing a chapped ass, to go to
the Quiet Village and meet his destiny. She then lights Siegfried's pyre, and when
it is fully ablaze she stuffs the rest of the ham sandwich into her mouth and jumps
into the Mersey which causes the river to overflow its banks. The flood douses the
pyre and allows the maidens to snatch away the magic shoes. Hagen makes a desperate
attempt to wrest the shoes from the maidens, but they grab him and drown him. The
Norns, dressed in miniskirts and neon go-go boots, frug lasciviously in front of
giant lava lamps on the Valkyrie stage while the Quiet Village bursts into flames
and consumes the Tiki Gods. The Valkyries drive Hagen's soldiers off into the stars
on little go-karts while Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass play "Casino Royale".
Brunnhilde, Siegfried, Hagen, Gunther, and Gutrune appear in the glowing red sky
smoking Kools and singing "I Got You, Babe". Finally, the river recedes leaving the
earth cleansed and ready to start anew.

As the curtain falls, the Three Norns can be seen watching an N'Sync video while
weaving an all-new Rope of Destiny which, not surprisingly, looks an awful lot like
the old Rope of Destiny.

Finis
*****



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End of exotica-digest V2 #780
*****************************