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buffyfic-digest        Sunday, August 16 1998        Volume 02 : Number 306



In this issue:

       BUFFYFIC: Libidinous 14/?
       BUFFYFIC: What Just Happened 12/?
       BUFFYFIC: "Faith" -- "Part Eight: Fear" (8/9)
       BUFFYFIC: "Faith" -- "Epilogue: Ode To Family" (9/9)

See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1998 19:51:22 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Libidinous 14/?

Title~ Libidinous  14/?
Author~ Shani
Notes~ in psychoanalytlic theories, the libido is the driving force behind all
human actions
Summary~  A Buffy/Angel story with a few twists.  Involves characters from
General Hospital, but yoiu donÆt have to watch GH to understand this fic.  I
did change a thing or two around for you GH fans
Disclaimer~  All characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss
Whendon, Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Productions,
and 20th Century Fox.  ôAngelö belongs to Sarah McLachlan and can be found on
her Surfacing cd.  All characters of General hospital belong to ABC.

Chapter 14, Angel

< Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
   For the break that will make it OK
  There's always some reason to feel not good enough
  And it's hard at the end of the day
  I need some distraction or a beautiful release
  Memories seep from my veins
  Let me be empty and weightless and maybe
  I'll find some peace tonight>

    Buffy coughed.  ôRelated how?ö  She was growing more impatient by the second.
The others in the room could feel the tension increase almost as if it were
physically surrounding them.
    ôThis book says that the, I guess we could refer to it as æspiritÆ, of the
Master will be able to walk the earth.  He will engage in battle with the
Slayer.  If he wins, he will take over her body and feed, becoming strong
enough to eventually lead the world to Armageddon.ö  Giles paused, looking at
everyone one in the room, but Buffy.  ôHe will follow after two creatures from
Hell.ö
    ôAngel and Arcanus.ö  Buffy whispered softly.  Giles forced himself to look
at her.  But now it was she that woudnÆt look at him.  ôHow do I kill his
æspiritÆ?  How do I kill him if IÆm a spirit myself...ö  He voice trailed off
in thought.  She thought she had rid herself of this part of the nightmare
that was her life.  She had died once, and wasnÆt prepared to let it happen
again.
    ôIÆm not completely certain.  Perhaps you must be in spirit form.ö
    Buffy barely heard him.  He head was spinning from the memories that rushed
at her.  Why hadnÆt she had dreams of the Master to warn her, as she had
before?  She didnÆt often allow herself to be afraid anymore, but this
terrifed her.  It scared her more than she would like to admitt.  He had
killed her.  She had *died*.  She didnÆt want to face that again.  She wasnÆt
sure if she could.

< In the arms of the Angel far away from here
  From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you feel
  You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
  You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here>

    Angel watched her closely.  He knew how hard that had been on her.  He may be
the only one that realizes it, but itÆs the truth, none the less.  He touched
her shimmering hand.  She looked down at his hand through hers.  They stood
like that.  Thoughts of the Master momentarily gone.

< So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
  There's vultures and thieves at your back
  The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
  That make up for all that you lack
  It don't make no difference, escape one last time
  It's easier to believe
  In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
  That brings me to my knees>

    While Angel comforted Buffy, and everyone else searched for answers that
continued to elude them, Stefan was trying to help Nikolas understand things
as best he could.  Nikolas however, thought he understood perfectly well.
    Nikolas continued to nod at what his uncle was saying, though he had stopped
paying attention several minutes ago.  Eventually, he noticed that his uncle
had gone to help Giles.  Nikolas wanted to help.  He wasnÆt sure what to do,
but he felt it something he needed to do.  Angel had gone to help research.
Buffy was about to follow, but was approached by Nikolas.
    ôI...my uncle told me what happened with the Master.  I wanted to see if you
were ok.ö
    Buffy smiled weakly at him.  ôWhen I died...I thought I was ok with it,
especially after I killed the Master, but I wasnÆt.  I still have nightmares
about him.  He almost killed my friends too.  I...I just didnÆt know how to
express it...because I wasnÆt sure what I was feeling.  I didnÆt want it to
make me weak.ö  She turned to look at him.  ôI spent the summer in L.A. with
my dad.  I was really distant, and he didnÆt get why.  When I got back, I
pretended I was fine.  But...that feeling kept growing.  Eventally I became
closed off and bitchy and all of my friends almost died.  The vamps were
trying to resurect the Master, using his bones.  I ended up smashing them with
a sledgehammer and crying...I donÆt want to go throught that again.  *ThatÆs*
what really scares me.ö  She concluded, her voice in a soft whisper only half
talking to Nik.
    He looked at her.  So far, he knew that she had died, lost her boyfriend, got
him back to loose him again... æWhat other Hell has she been through?Æ  He
wanted to help, now more than ever.

< In the arms of the Angel far away from here
   From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you feel
  You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
  You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here
  In the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here>

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1998 23:49:14 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: What Just Happened 12/?

TITLE: What Just Happened?
AUTHOR: Azziel Savament
E-MAIL:  [e-mail]
FEEDBACK:  I need it to live.  PLEASE MORE!  If I don't get more feed bac=
k=0Asoon, I'll kill a main character off=85.  AHHHH=85I'm out of my mind=
=85.  So don't=0Aput it past me!
RATING: PG-14 just to be safe.
CONTENT: Angst, Confusion, and the usual.
SPOILERS: The story is set after season two happened
SUMMARY: This is a Angel/Buffy what-if story.  It starts off the morning =
after=0Aher surprise party.  What happens when Buffy wake's up to find ou=
t that all=0Athat happened from the time of her birthday to the time she =
sent Angel to hell=0Awas just a dream, or was it??????
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these, they belong to an evil man named J=
oss=0AWhedon.
NOTE: Now I can have some real fun now that I have explained what happene=
d to=0Athe Judge and Have Zeal in the story=85=85.out of Buffy's body.  I=
n the next=0Asection someone is going to die.  HEHEHEHE Guess???????

Part 12: Secrets?
Location:  Buffy's Bedroom


She awoke entangled in his arms, the first night in weeks that she did no=
t=0Ahave a nightmare.  Buffy was glad of that, she felt safe, but only wi=
th him.=0ANow it was morning, and she was also glad at the fact that she =
remembered to=0Aclose the blinds before she went to bed or her one and on=
ly would have been=0Adust.  But none of that mattered now since she knew =
it was time to get up, and=0Aface her mother.  As she contemplated moving=
 she remember a silent pray she=0Asaid to herself the night before as she=
 got into bed with Angel.  'God, please=0Adon't let my mother get any ide=
as of make up with me tonight.'  She really=0Adidn't want to get caught w=
ith Angel in her bed.

Despite the fact the she was comfortable, and really didn't want to untan=
gle=0Aherself from Angel she still got up.  She went over to her closet a=
nd put her=0Aslippers on; it was right after dawn so she really didn't wa=
nt to get dressed.=0AWhen she looked back at the bed she noticed Angel wa=
s awake.  Buffy slowly=0Awent back over to the bed, and sat down next to =
him.

"Good morning."  She leaned in closer, and kissed him gently on his lips.

"Hey."  As he spoke he raised him arm so that he could cup her jaw with h=
is=0Ahand.  As he began to caress her face he continued.  "Sleep well?"  =
Angel was=0Astill a little concerned about the other night.

"Ya, actually I slept great, nightmare free."  With a slight smile she le=
aned=0Adown and kissed him again.  "As much as I hate to say this, but I =
have to go=0Aface the music."  She quickly got up, and started for the do=
or.  Without Buffy=0Arealizing, Angel copied her movement until he was ri=
ght behind her.  Since she=0Ahad fail to notice him movement, until she t=
urned around.  They found=0Athemselves separated by less then an inch.  S=
he looked up into his deep brown=0Aeyes, his arms encircling her waist, a=
nd before she realized it they were in a=0Apassionate embrace.  When the =
kiss broke, Angel whispered into her ear.

"Good luck."  With one quick peck on his lips, she turned, and left the r=
oom=0Aready of anything her mother was willing to throw at her.

When the door shut, Angel returned to his place on the bed.  Until he not=
iced=0Aa book on the floor, it was Buffy's diary.  He went over to it and=
 soon saw=0Athat it was still open.  With an even quicker movement, he gl=
anced at the=0Apage, and closed the book placing it on her nightstand.  A=
s he returned to the=0Abed, he thought back to his quick glance, and real=
ized that in that glance he=0Ahad seen his name.  He knew that Buffy wrot=
e about him in her diary, but his=0Acuriosity was getting to him.  Even t=
hough he knew that Buffy would stake him=0Aif she found out what he was d=
oing.  Finally, he gave into his own desire, and=0Apicked up her diary.  =
He opened it to the last page, the one he had glanced=0Aat, and began to =
read.

It started off like a normal diary entry, but then got interesting.  He w=
as a=0Abit surprised at the poem; he never knew that Buffy enjoyed poetry=
.  As he=0Aread on he learned that she was hiding something from him, but=
 the entry did=0Anot say what.  The whole thing left Angel with a questio=
ning that he knew=0Acould not be answered without piss her off.

Location:  Kitchen

As Buffy walked into the kitchen expecting to see her mother, but I was e=
mpty.=0A<Where could she be, I already checked her room. > As she thought=
 this she=0Awalked over to the stove, and found an envelope with her name=
 on it.   She=0Aquickly opened it to see that it wasn't her mother's hand=
writing at all.

=09Dear Buffy:

Now that the game has come full circle, I get to play.  Because of you I'=
m now=0Afree, you have my thanks.  <Great the girl who tried to seduce An=
gel is=0Athanking me. > (Quickly looking up from the letter with a sarcas=
tic grin then=0Areturned her eyes to the paper.)  You have more then made=
 me feel welcome,=0Aknowing your little secret helps too.  So now I have =
decided I must repay you=0Awith my game.  <Wonderful> Your mother has bee=
n more then happy to join in,=0Abut if she is to live threw it you and yo=
ur demon lover will join as well.=0ARemember if you try to pull anything =
I will destroy your hell whole of a town,=0Akilling everything you love a=
nd hold dear to go with it.
=09=09=09=09=09Best of wishes,
=09=09=09=09=09=09Zeal
PS Your mother saw you two in bed together.  HA, Just wanted to let you k=
now.=0A;-0

<O God. >

End of part 12

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1998 00:24:08 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Faith" -- "Part Eight: Fear" (8/9)

See part one for notes and disclaimers. Send all comments or requests for
missing pieces to [e-mail], please!

~

                       "Part Eight: Fear"

     Jerking abruptly away as the woman he held in his arms melted
away to nothingness, Angel's eyes widened as he turned toward the
source of the voice, and he stared in disbelief.
     "Buffy?" he choked.
     She was standing at the water's edge, glaring at him from
across the stream. Confusion flooded his every thought as he
realized that, for a few seconds, there had been two of them-- the
one in his arms, who had vanished, and the one now glaring at him
with so much fury.
     Immediately, Angel straightened, feeling something deep within
him harden in preparation for the verbal onslaught he was certain
he'd soon receive from his former love.
     Stepping out another few paces, Buffy's expression stayed as
hard and as angry as the feelings in Angel's soul. She shook her
head, her disgust more than evident. "I can't _believe_ this," she
gaped incredulously.
     For his part, Angel remained silent, already conscious of the
fact that it was perfectly possible that he had-- yet again--
encountered a "fake" Buffy-- an approximation of his love whose
only objective would be to hurt him. The small voice inside him
that once again screamed its so-called knowledge of this Buffy's
being the genuine article quickly found itself drowned out by the
rest, and Angel gave Buffy only the smallest amount of
consideration.
     "Come on," she challenged. "Aren't you going to say
something?" Her face was twisted into an expression of furious
expectation, one Angel couldn't easily discount.
     Buffy didn't so much as hesitate when it became clear that
Angel was going to refrain from arguing. Instead, she kept
speaking. Kept pounding away with that wonderful, horrible,
accusing voice of hers.
     "What," she demanded. "Now that I've actually got something to
say, now that I'm not going to just sit back and cry and let you
run everything about _us_, you won't even speak to me?" She shook
her head, her blonde hair swishing around her face and momentarily
obscuring her features. "You make me _so_ sick," she snapped.
"First with that whole shifting thing, and now I walk onto the
scene when you were just in the middle of god-only-_knows_ what,
and you're not even _speaking_ to me? I don't know what's worse--
you being quiet like this, or me having to hear your god-awful
_voice_!"
     Finishing with a flourish, Buffy turned, and Angel realized
she was going to stalk away. He wasn't sure what it was that caused
him to suddenly decide that silence had become so much less
important, but the next thing he knew, Angel was pushing himself up
and off the rock, and making his way after her. When he was only
inches from her and she showed no sign of slowing or stopping,
Angel rook a breath and reached out, grabbing Buffy by the shoulder
and forcing her to a stop.
     "Hold it a minute, would you?" he demanded, glaring at her.
Momentarily, Angel felt some of the old fury he'd felt during their
old arguments as it welled up inside him.
     "For two seconds, Buffy, would you mind very much taking a
look at things from _my_ point of view? If you're even actually
you," he tacked on quickly, "which I have no idea about." He shook
his head as the Slayer looked at him, ignoring the look of
confusion in her eyes. "I get out of Hell and I find out that not
only does the woman I love happen to be trying to 'atone' for what
she thinks she's done, which wasn't anything more than her sworn
duty and the _right_ thing, but she now hates be because I remind
her of all the pain she's supposedly caused?" He shook his head.
"I'm the one who's killed people here, Buffy, not you. I'm the one
who's done stupid things, I'm the one who's screwed up. You've
somehow managed to convince yourself that none of that's true, that
you can accomplish more by making yourself into some kind of
martyr-- and whether I'm talking to you or just another Garou
hallucination, I've got to say this. Because it's the truth." He
took her other shoulder, turning her toward him. "I love you,
Buffy. Nothing you've ever done has every changed that. No matter
how many times you push me away, I'm going to keep coming back,
because we're connected and I'm not about to let you break that
connection just so you can feel like you're paying the price for a
mistake you didn't make."
     For a moment, the Slayer only stared at him-- it wasn't for
several long minutes that she spoke. "I killed you," she finally
said. "I killed you and I sent you to Hell."
     Angel nearly laughed at the way she said it. So quietly, so
matter-of-factly. So ridiculous, he thought, that she should worry
about such things as cosmic justice when she knew damn well the
world was so far from fair.
     "You're also the closest I've ever come to heaven," he said.
"And the closest I'm ever going to get." He sighed, relaxing his
grip on her slightly as he realized she was no longer struggling,
no longer trying to get away from him. "Buffy," he sighed, "I want
you to heal. Whatever part of you I'm talking to right now...I want
you to heal. That's why I brought you here." He shook his head, his
eyes flitting over her flesh, her confused expression, and as the
sunlight danced on her pale skin he caught sight of the light,
buried deep in her eyes. The hope, deep within the fear that had
been all-too-present in the past year and a half. And then he heard
himself speak again.
     "It was a mistake, and I'm sorry for that...I can't heal
things for you. I guess..." He shook his head, then sighed. "You've
got to find your own light, Buffy. I can't do it for you because
nothing I say is anything you'll listen to." Carefully, slowly, he
bent forward and placed a light kiss on her forehead. "I love you,"
he whispered.
     At the same time, he could feel her fading from his grasp, and
the light that had surrounded them both was slowly replaced by the
darkness of the Garou cavern.
     He looked down. He was still seated where he had been earlier,
and across the way Giles was watching him coldly. Sef was by
Buffy's bed.
     As the Garou moved away from the cot, and the Watcher stood
quickly, Angel felt something inside him break. And then he had a
clear line of sight to the bed, and he saw that it was empty.
     He choked, turning to look at Sef, horror in his expression.
"Where is she?" he asked, his eyes wide and his tone full of
urgency.
     The Garou shook his head, and Giles took a step forward to see
the empty bed. Then he stopped dead in his tracks and turned to
glare at Angel.
     In all the years he'd lived, Angel had never seen a look so
full of fury, so full of hatred. "What did you do." The Watcher's
voice was cold fire.
     "I-- I didn't--" Angel turned to Sef, taking a step away from
the Watcher, already hyperaware of how the other was regarding him
and the sort of thought that was most likely running through Giles'
mind.
     "She has gone," Sef said, and though his tone seemed almost
mournful, it was also tinged with something Angel might have called
hope.
     "Where the bloody hell has she gone _to_?!" Giles demanded in
a near-roar.
     The Garou turned back to face them both. "To the dream-plane,"
he said quietly. "To discover her truths. To heal."
     "She can't--"
     "It is as you wished, Friend," Sef said quietly, before
turning to walk out of the room.
     Angel stared, watching him go, unable to find his voice and
unable to make himself move any further away from the Watcher as
the other stalked across the floor to stand toe-to-toe with him.
     Giles' voice was full of venom. "You were trying to help her.
For that reason-- and _only_ that reason-- I won't kill you where
you stand." He paused, his voice shaking with emotion, and Angel
forced himself to meet the other man's eyes. "But so help me God,
if I ever see you again, I'll kill you myself."
     Finding a response impossible, there was nothing Angel could
do but watch as Giles left the room. And then the only things in
the room were himself, the now-empty cot that had held his love,
and the dying embers of the fire Sef had used in the ritual.
                                *
     Buffy looked around herself, feeling tears biting at the
corners of her eyes as Angel faded away. This was too much, Buffy
knew. Far too much. To face the others, that had been bad enough,
to sit and listen while Angelus and Angel fought over her, to
listen to Spike's taunts, to hear as Xander defended and soothed
her.
     This was too much, though. To hear Angel telling her she was
a lost cause, that he knew no amount of his help was going to make
her realize she could still love him and still believe in him.
     He was right, of course, in that she had to find her own way.
She knew that. Part of the problem of their love had been that she
was always too eager to let Angel save her, to let him guide her.
She had always trusted him to guide her wherever she needed to be.
He had never meant to betray that trust, and yet it had been
betrayed all the same-- through her own actions-- and she could no
longer believe that everything he said was without flaw in intent.
     So she couldn't listen to him, she couldn't count on him for
direction.
     She sighed, sinking into the grass beneath her feet. The
faerie circle was nearby, she could find it if she tried. But she
didn't try. And she didn't rise from where she sat.
     If she couldn't find her own light, her own path back to the
real world, she knew she had no business expecting the Garou or
Angel, or anyone else for that matter, to find it for her.
     *Look for light in darkness,* she remembered the voice telling
her, and as she looked up at the forest that surrounded her, Buffy
realized that to find a way to claw her way out from the spiral she
had descended into, the habit of running away and shirking
responsibility, she would have to search for, and find, her own
reason for being. It was time to stop relying on those around her
for comfort and solace.
     It was time, she decided as she stood and turned to walk
deeper into the woods, for her to find her own light.

~

Comments to [e-mail], please!

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1998 00:27:32 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Faith" -- "Epilogue: Ode To Family" (9/9)

See part one for notes and disclaimers. Please send all comments and requests
for missing pieces to [e-mail], they're more than welcome.

~

                    "Epilogue: Ode to Family"

               //Unhappiness was when I was young
                    And we didn't give a damn
                       Cos we were raised
                       To see life as fun
                    And take it if we can.//
                        -The Cranberries

     Time passed so slowly these days, Giles reflected, sitting at
his desk and flipping through the latest listing of students who
had failed to turn in their library books, and as such would be
banned from taking their final exams. The policy was a new one,
instituted when the school administration had seen the lists for
the past two years, and the number of books that were taken out and
not returned over summer.
     He was so easily distracted from his task, though. Any thought
of how the days passed-- each one the same-- was enough to make his
eyes unfocus and the page before him blur.
     As time wore on, Giles had decided months ago, nothing
changed. It was only in instants that anything with any meaning
whatsoever could occur. Instants were the sorts of things one could
get lost in. Especially if one were a petite, blond-haired girl
upon whose shoulders rested the fate of the world.
     In the beginning, Willow and Xander-- sometimes even Cordelia-
- - would walk in and try to make polite conversation with him. But
after a few tries, the three had come to understand that their old
friend was no longer open to approach, and they had ceased the
visits.
     Truth be known, Giles didn't care any longer. There had been
initial guilt, but when he had requested transfer, the Network had
refused. Their reason had been that if Buffy returned from the
dreamscape, she would need his guidance, and she would need to be
able to find him. There wasn't even another trainee awaiting his
teaching, since technically Buffy wasn't dead.
     No Slayer.
     For the first time in thousands of years, there was no viable,
usable Slayer. Because of that Giles had found himself working even
without the other half of the Slayer/Watcher team. Killing what
demons he could, putting up protective spells when he could do
nothing more than that.
     Sometimes, he caught himself wishing he had help, then he
remembered that the only man who might have been able to provide
adequate assistance in this sort of battle had been not only
banished from the Hellmouth, but was the reason for everything that
had already happened. Then Giles' heart would harden and he would
go back to his books and his methods, and continue to hunt those
vampires that came to Sunnydale seeking an easy way to gain power.
Most never left.
     He flipped the pages of the computer printout silently,
breathing an unconscious sigh of relief when he passed through the
"C" section of the list and saw there was no listing for "Chase,
Cordelia." Not, he reflected, that the girl was likely to have
checked out anything in the way of reading material during her stay
at Sunnydale High-- the stay that would be ending in only a few
short weeks.
     Similar sighs were given when he passed by "H" and "R"-- not
that he would have expected Willow to have failed to return a
library book-- without seeing names.
     It wasn't until he reached the "S" section that his pulse
quickened, because he knew what he would find there.
     "Summers, Buffy. Emily Dickinson: A Complete Collection." The
rest of the information was inconsequential. It was her name, the
book she had kept checked out for three years now. Through her
expulsion and her re-admittance to Sunnydale High, Buffy had always
kept that book with her, though Giles could never understand why.
Her relationship with Owen, he supposed, must be some sort of
reminder of what she could have had, could have been.
     He wondered where the book was now. If it was still packed
into the boxes of her belongings that sat in his basement, still
kept hidden from the rest of the world, and especially his eyes. He
couldn't stand seeing anything of hers these days. Even her name,
he realized, was bringing tears into the corners of his eyes.
     *Buffy,* he thought with a sigh, as he crossed off the name
and made a mental note to delete the record and replace the copy
from his salary.
     Six months were far too long for her to return, he had been
telling himself that for days. But if she was trapped, then
hypothetically she could stay alive on the dream plane for years--
and if that happened, then another Slayer might never activate, and
the world would be forever defenseless.
     *It doesn't matter, Rupert,* Giles told himself with a sigh.
Nothing _mattered_ these days, because he had failed completely in
the duty he had sworn to uphold.
     Shaking his head, with a slight, bitter sigh, Giles rose from
his desk and left the sheaf of paper behind. Slowly, with the air
of one weighed down by memory and regret, he made his way out of
the high school.
                                *
     His key slipped easily into the lock. It turned without a
struggle. The door, which was usually jammed, gave him as difficult
a time as ever as it squeaked open, the hinges complaining and
begging to be oiled.
     Giles shook his head. He had no time for that sort of thing,
even if the only commodity that seemed to be left in his life was
time. A different variety, he assured himself. His time was for
mourning, berating. Being disgusted with himself and the life he
was now leading, each facet of which was empty and meaningless.
     As he stepped into the living room, he avoided letting his
eyes drift to the chair she had loved so much, the one he had
gladly let her usurp because the back had been too sloped for his
tastes. He should have it removed, he told himself.
     *Except she'll want it when she comes home,* he thought, only
an instant before he chastised himself for letting such an idea
pass through his mind.
     She wouldn't come home. He had to come to terms with that.
     Another wave of hatred flooded his gut as Angel's image
appeared in his mind's eye.
     Putting the anger carefully away, he trudged up the staircase,
each step deliberate and planned. When he reached the top, he saw
the light switch, and he frowned. The lines that raced across his
forehead in creases were so practiced, he noted with an almost
academic sense of detachment. He usually made a point of turning
the lights off in the morning. Conservation of energy and all that.
     But now the light was on, and he would have turned it on, and
at any rate it wasn't as though eight extra hours of operation
would bring the world to its knees.
     Once, Giles somehow knew, he would have railed against this
sort of apathy in his own thoughts. He would have hated the feeling
of being so helpless, and even more he'd have hated the idea that
he would become so complacent as he harbored the feelings.
     Letting his briefcase fall beside his bed, Giles removed his
tweed jacket-- she had always given him such a hard time about
that, he reflected, same as he did every night-- and hung it in the
closet before he sat on the edge of his bed and bent to take off
his shoes.
     The moment his fingers touched the laces of the first, Giles
felt a chill travel up his spine. Someone was watching him.
     He closed his eyes, trying to attune himself to the feelings
of the room, to the auras of all the objects inside it. It was
never something he'd had a particular talent with, but it was a
skill he had practiced over and over again, and the practice now
gave him at least a slight edge.
     Several seconds passed before he straightened and turned to
the window, which was now open.
     He felt his breath catch in his throat. And the name wouldn't
come to him.
     "Giles?" she said, her voice soft, tinged with the slightest
hint of fear. "I-- Is that you?"
     The frown washing away immediately, Giles stepped away from
his bed, moving to her side and wrapping her in his arms, holding
her so tightly he would have been afraid of crushing her in his
arms-- had she not been strong enough to do the same to him.
     After a few long moments, he let her pull away slightly, and
she tucked a single strand of loose hair back into the loose
ponytail she was wearing. Somewhere behind her, Giles could all but
make out the figure of a man who looked to be in his early
twenties. He ignored it, focusing all of his attention on her,
instead.
     Her eyes glimmered brightly, unshed tears like stars over her
irises. For a few seconds, she was silent, and all they did was
watch one another.
     Then, the corners of her mouth turned upward in the barest
hint of a smile, and she spoke. "I'm home," she said quietly.
"And...I think I'm something resembling okay."
     Relief and love flooding his expression once more, Giles
resisted his instincts no longer, and once again he pulled his
Slayer close in a tight, almost suffocating embrace.
     And then neither Slayer nor Watcher was aware of the one
standing outside the window, and the vampire made no move to
initiate such an awareness.

THE END

Copyright 1998
Rachel Brody

~

Comments to [e-mail], please-- this ends almost three months of work
and I'd really, really like to know what people think of it, whether their
reactions be good or bad. :)

Rachel

------------------------------

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