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buffyfic-digest        Sunday, August 16 1998        Volume 02 : Number 305



In this issue:

       BUFFYFIC: Wait(Poem)
       BUFFYFIC: "Starting Over" (12/13)
       BUFFYFIC: "Starting Over" (13/13)
       Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Short Grammer Notes
       BUFFYFIC: Beta-Readers
       BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (24/?)
       BUFFYFIC: Libidinous 14/?

See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1998 02:18:21 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Wait(Poem)

TITLE: Wait
AUTHOR: Azziel Savament
EMAIL:  [e-mail]
DISTRIBUTION:  You know who has my fic's
RATING:  PG-14
SUMMARY: Buffy's suicide note, it's a poem to Angel.
NOTE: It's sad.

Wait for me
When the dust settles
Tears still not dry
Words left unsaid
Hearts left in pieces
We always will be part.

But now all is gone
Alone, in rooms
Corners covered in blood
Your promise broken
Along with my skin.

I still feel you
I still smell you
I still can taste you in my mouth
I still feel every part of you inside me.

I will never sleep
Wrist, broken skin
The blood will flow
Death I will greet
Screams, cries, death will seek.

Wait for me
When the dust settles
Seek me find me
i give, I will wait
I close my eyes

Death will greet
Screams, cries,
death I now will now meet.
My Angel, My Death.

The End

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1998 09:01:46 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Starting Over" (12/13)

"Starting Over" (12/13)
Section 2
by Jaclyn Link


TITLE: Starting Over
E-MAIL: [e-mail]
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first, but I=92ll probably say yes.
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: None, but if you haven=92t seen Becoming, you might not want to=
 read
this.
SUMMARY: Buffy had left Sunnydale via bus after sending Angel to Hell. On=
 the=0Abus she met the next Watcher in line, Andrew, and decided to live =
with him and=0Ahis Slayer, Shy. After a visit from Drusilla, Andrew was i=
njured and in the=0Ahospital. Giles came to bring Buffy back to Sunnydale=
, telling her that he=0Aknows how to get Angel back from Hell. They took =
Shy with them. When Buffy=0Agoes to the library, she finds out Xander did=
n=92t tell her Willow was retrying=0Athe curse. Xander, feeling guilty, d=
oes a ritual to retrieve Angel, and passes=0Athree of four tests, where h=
e didn=92t let himself get seduced by Buffy, staked=0AWillow in her vamp =
form, and killed the vampire that knocked the book case on=0AWillow. He n=
ow has the final test to pass.
DISCLAIMER: Joss Wheden, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Telivision, 20th Century=
 Fox,=0Athe WB, Kuzui Productions, etc. own all the character from the sh=
ow Buffy the=0AVampire Slayer.
FEEDBACK: Please send it to me.
AUTHOR=92S NOTE: This story is in two sections. The second section will b=
e a=0Asequal to the first section under the same name. Also, special than=
ks to=0AAleXander ([e-mail]) for the use of his wonderful ep t=
ranscrips=0Awhich can be accessed at http://slayerfanfic.com/transcript.h=
tml.
***

=09"Angel?" Xander asked, looking at the chained up figure. He now saw wh=
at Hell=0Areally looked like, not Buffy=92s room or the Sunnydale Cemetar=
y. It was a dark=0Aplace, bear and empty. Each soul defined it by what th=
ey feared or hated most.=0ATo Xander, it was a place without Buffy or Wil=
low or Cordelia, a place barren=0Aand lonely, a place without life where =
Angelus lived and tortured him.
=09"Xander," Angelus chuckeled.
=09"Angelus," Xander hissed. "Where=92s Angel?"
=09"It wouldn=92t be any fun if I told you, now would it?" He smiled. "Bu=
ffy=92s=0Awhite knite, here to save her beloved Angel whom she sent to He=
ll. You still=0Alove her."
=09"Leave Buffy out of this," he spoke, his fists clenched.
=09"Sweet Buffy.  I don=92t understand why the whore doesn=92t know how t=
o please a=0Aman."
=09"What=92d you call her?" He hit Angelus as hard as he could.
=09He ignored the punch. "C=92mon, Xander, tell me it isn=92t eating you =
up inside=0Athat she chose to sleep with a vampire, her worst enemy, rath=
er than with you.=0AThen again, who could blame her? Why settle for a hig=
h school virgin when she=0Acould have a real man?" As he laughed, Xander =
kicked him in the stomach. "Just=0Abetween you and me, she has a lot to l=
earn about men, though."
=09"Shut-up," was the only thing that came to mind. That wasn=92t at all =
pathetic,=0Ahe thought as he took a cross and stuck it against his face.
=09"What, you don=92t want to here about Buffy and me? How =91bout Jenny?=
 Now that=0Awas a fun night. Y=92know, I didn=92t even stay around to see=
 the look on Rupert=92s=0Aface? Seeing Buffy and Willow=92s was so much b=
etter. Y=92shoulda been. Hearing=0AWillow sob when Giles called..." Xande=
r took his last bottle of holy water and=0Adripped it down his chest and =
listened to Angelus scream. It took Angelus a=0Amoment before he could co=
ntinue talking. "Seeing Buffy=92s mom=92s face after I=0Atold her that we=
 made love was another good moment. She was so scared of me=0Auntil that =
second. The hate in her eyes was so rewarding. I really wish I had=0Aseen=
 her talk to Buffy."
=09Xander grabbed a stake, ready to thrust it through his heart. "Angel,"=
 he=0Aheard a whisper that he knew to be Buffy=92s. No, he thought to him=
self, I have=0Ato pass this test for Buffy. I can=92t stay here without h=
er. I can=92t let her=0Adown again. Using all his strength, he lowered th=
e stake and broke it in two.
=09Suddenly, a bright light caused him to cover his eyes. When he opened =
them,=0Athere was Angel, right in front of him.
=09"Xander," he asked, "what are you doing here? You have to leave this p=
lace."
=09"I=92m here to help you go back."
=09"I can=92t, not after what I did to Buffy and Giles and Jenny. I don=
=92t deserve=0Ato."
=09"It wasn=92t your fault," he tried to convince Angel as well as himsel=
f.
=09"What happened to Jenny was. I killed her and dozens of other innocent=
 people=0Ato upset Buffy. No matter how sorry I am, I can=92t bring them =
back."
=09"She needs you; she loves. She can=92t go on without you. You=92re the=
 only thing=0Ashe thinks about. She=92ll die without you. Maybe not physi=
cally, but=0Aemotionally. She=92s lost so much; she deserves to have the =
one thing she wants.=0AIf you don=92t go for you, go for Buffy."
=09"How could she forgive me?"
=09"She knows that it wasn=92t your fault. She doesn=92t blame you."
=09"Do you?"
=09"What?"
=09"Do you blame me for all the deaths?"
=09Xander couldn=92t lie. He did blame him. But he had to bring Angel bac=
k for=0ABuffy. "No, I don=92t."
=09"How is she?"
=09"Why don=92t you find out with your own eyes?"
=09"How can I go back?"
=09Xander took a deep breath before saying anything. "Give me your hand."=
 Taking=0Athe knife, he sliced Angel=92s hands. Before them, a large vort=
ex opened.=0ASlowly, Xander and Angel were sucked in. In a few moments, t=
here was only a=0Adeafening silence where they had stood.
***
End Part 12

"It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passi=
on,=0Amaybe we=92d know some kind of peace. But we would be hallow. Empty=
 rooms,=0Ashuddered and dank. Without passion, we=92d be truly dead." -An=
gel, Passion.

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1998 09:04:43 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Starting Over" (13/13)

"Starting Over" (13/13) Epilogue
Section 2
by Jaclyn Link


TITLE: Starting Over
E-MAIL: [e-mail]
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first, but I=92ll probably say yes.
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: None, but if you haven=92t seen Becoming, you might not want to=
 read
this.
SUMMARY: Buffy had left Sunnydale via bus after sending Angel to Hell. On=
 the=0Abus she met the next Watcher in line, Andrew, and decided to live =
with him and=0Ahis Slayer, Shy. After a visit from Drusilla, Andrew was i=
njured and in the=0Ahospital. Giles came to bring Buffy back to Sunnydale=
, telling her that he=0Aknows how to get Angel back from Hell. They took =
Shy with them. When Buffy=0Agoes to the library, she finds out Xander did=
n=92t tell her Willow was retrying=0Athe curse. Xander, feeling guilty, d=
id a ritual to retrieve Angel, and passed=0Athree of four tests, where he=
 didn=92t let himself get seduced by Buffy, staked=0AWillow in her vamp f=
orm, and killed the vampire that knocked the book case on=0AWillow, and d=
idn=92t stake Angelus after he said some pretty nasty things.
DISCLAIMER: Joss Wheden, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Telivision, 20th Century=
 Fox,=0Athe WB, Kuzui Productions, etc. own all the character from the sh=
ow Buffy the=0AVampire Slayer.
FEEDBACK: Please send it to me.
AUTHOR=92S NOTE: This story is in two sections. The second section will b=
e a=0Asequal to the first section under the same name. Also, special than=
ks to=0AAleXander ([e-mail]) for the use of his wonderful ep t=
ranscrips=0Awhich can be accessed at http://slayerfanfic.com/transcript.h=
tml.
***
=09Buffy sat in the library when suddenly a vision hit her. She saw Angel=
 and=0AXander together in a vortex at the mansion. "Angel!" she cried alo=
ud.
=09"Buffy," Willow asked, "are you-"
=09"I have to go," she said. "Tell the rest of the gang that it might not=
 be=0Aanything, but it could be something."
=09"Buffy, wait!" But it was too late.
=09Buffy ran as hard and as fast as she could to the mansion on Crawford =
Street.=0ARunning through the door, she struggled to remember how to get =
to the room=0Awhere Acathla lay. After what felt like hours of searching,=
 she finally found=0Ait. Much, to her disappointment, though, it was empt=
y. Oh well, she thought, I=0Ashouldn=92t have gotten my hopes up. As she =
turned to walk away, she noticed a=0Abright light. As she turned around, =
she saw a vortex open. Her mouth wide=0Aopen, she could only stared as Xa=
nder and Angel came out.
=09Xander stood up, healthy and strong, while Angel lay on the ground wit=
h tears=0Ain his eyes. The same look she had seen on his face when his so=
ul returned=0Aagain. "Buffy?" he asked.
=09"Angel," she cried, running into his arms.
=09"God, it=92s been so long since I=92ve seen you." Tears rolled down bo=
th their=0Acheeks. Buffy closed her eyes and held on to him tightly. "I=
=92ve missed you so=0Amuch. Buffy, I=92m so sorry. If there=92s any way I=
 can-"
=09"Shh," she whispered, putting her fingers on his lips. Slowly, she mov=
ed her=0Ahand across his cheek. Drawing him nearer, she kissed him passio=
nately. They=0Aheld each other in their arms, neither wanted to ever let =
go.
=09Xander just stood there and watched their reunion, almost regretting h=
e had=0Adone this. He felt like someone was stabbing a knife in his back =
every time=0Athey kissed each other. Although he tried to be happy for he=
r, he couldn=92t.
=09"I love you," Angel said, pulling away.
=09"I love you, too," she whispered. "I can=92t lose you again." They emb=
raced=0Aeach other lovingly.
=09Suddenly, the rest of the gang came into the room. "Xander," Cordelia =
cried,=0Arunning to him. After kissing, she cried playfully, "Don=92t you=
 ever do that to=0Ame again!"
=09Buffy pulled away from Angel and walked to Xander. "I could never than=
k you=0Aenough for what you did. You=92ll never know how much I appreciat=
e you doing=0Athis." She hugged him tightly. But not the way she had held=
 Angel. She would=0Aalways hug him like this, her best friend, not her lo=
ver. And Angel, Xander=0Athought, got what I deserve.
***
End Part 13
End Part 2
End of "Starting Over"

"It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passi=
on,=0Amaybe we=92d know some kind of peace. But we would be hallow. Empty=
 rooms,=0Ashuddered and dank. Without passion, we=92d be truly dead." -An=
gel, Passion

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1998 12:46:05 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Short Grammer Notes

Couple people pointed things out, so since it's just grammer I'm going to
reply publically... :)

>'allot' is correct as well, as in to dole out, e.g. allotment......

That's a different kind of allot, though. That's "to allot something", not "a
lot of something", so in that case it would depend on what you wanted the word
to mean.

Also, I was told I left out another one-- "it's/its" "It's" is a contraction
for "it is", as in:

                                     "It's about time you got here, Buffy,"
                                     Xander quipped as the Slayer ran toward
                                      her friends.

"Its", however, would be:

                                    Its jaws opened wide, and the big ugly
                                    monster took a big bite out of Principal
                                    Snyder.

There. Now, I really _do_ think that's all. :)

R

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1998 15:16:23 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Beta-Readers

Hi. Sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if anyone would be able to help
me by being a beta-reader for my stories. Thanks.

- -Jaclyn
[e-mail]

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1998 14:00:10 -0700
From: [e-mail] (Charity C. T.)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (24/?)

TITLE: Chronicles of the White Knight #24 Again With the Magic
AUTHOR: Taygeta
E-MAIL: [e-mail]
FEEDBACK:  Very muchly wanted (bad or good...whatever the complaint)
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just tell me first.
RATING: PG
KEYWORDS: Buffy/Xander fanfic
DISCLAIMER:  The characters portrayed in this fanfic and any such
reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series belong to their
creator, Joss Whedon, and their owners, Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui
Productions, Sanddollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. In other
words, they do not belong to me.  Copyright infringement not intended.

*****************************
Chronicles of the White Knight
#24 Again With the Magic
By: Taygeta

    Cordelia sighed as she saw Xander disappear into the distance and
dark of the night and turned to reenter the Bronze.  She hesitated as her
hand reached the silver knob of the door.  Shaking her head, she began to
head to her car and go home.  Cordelia was tired of everything that was
going on in her life, tired of the "IN" parties, tired of the people who
called themselves her friends.

    Her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as she sat in
thought about her conversation with Xander and she wondered what his nod
meant.  If only he knew what she knew about this present Buffy/Angel
situation, but as she thought about it, she wondered how he would react
to what she had seen and heard the other dayà

    à  "The blood of youth," chuckled Angel in the alley as he sank
his teeth into the body of the girl in his clutches.

    "Oh my God," Cordelia said in a hushed whisper as she hid in the
doorway of the Bronze.

    "Angel, this plan of yours is perfect," Druscilla said as she
came from behind him, "Cast a spell on the slayer to make her think that
she was in love with youàso when are we going to kill the slayer and have
her blood as our wine?"

    "Soon, Dru, soon, and when her blood is our wine, you'll have
that dinner party you've always wanted and then there will be a toast to
the Sorcerer for his spells and magic and all that junk," he said as he
gave her a kiss on the cheek.

    Dru laughed, "To think that all we had to do to protect you from
their soul spell was to cast a counter spell on your pretty little
headàhow I love magicàand all its darkly goodness."

    "Oh, and that expression on the White Knight's face," Angel said
with a laugh as they walked out of the alley arm in arm, "That was
pricelessàI wish you could have been there, you would have had such a
laugh!"  à

    àCordelia shuddered, she could imagine what his expression must
have been like, so much like it was earlier when she had mentioned Buffy
for the first time, but so much more worse.  She wished that he could
know that what she said, about Buffy still being in love with him, was
not only a matter of opinion, but a matter of fact.  There was no way she
could tell him about all of this magic <again with the magic!> without
him going off the handle of crazed, but she had to tell someone.

    With a sharp breath, she stepped out of her car and walked back
into the Bronze as quick as her heels could carry her.  Giving a
flirtatious smile at the Bouncer, she walked in without having to pay
again and headed to where Oz and Willow sat listening to the band.

    "WillowàOz?" she said carefully.

    "Cordeliaà" they said in surprise.

    "Double twinàmuch?" she said and winced, "Sorry, force of habit,
I've got to talk to you guysà"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    "Hold on," Giles said as he hushed the clamoring students in
front of him, "L - Let me get this straight.  Angel is not Angel, but
rather he is still in his demonic state, but with a humane faτade?  Buffy
is not in love with him, but rather been induced into a spell to make her
think such thoughts for him?  And s-someone known as the S-sorcerer, has
placed such spells and the counter spell for the soul into effect?"  They
all nodded solemnly and he sighed, "Dear God."

    "So, what's the plan?"  Cordelia prompted with raised eyebrows.

    "Bookàcomputersàresearch," he said as he grabbed a few volumes
from the shelf and handed it to them.

    Willow turned on the computer, "But Giles, what are we looking
for?"

    "I'm hopingàwe may not be able to create a counter spell for a
spell which has already been countered, but we may have a chance to be
rid of the love spell cast on Buffy," he explained.  "We must also find
more about the Sorcerer and how powerful he is."

    "What's with us and love spells?"  Cordelia said with a sigh as
she opened a book, "Figures that when we have a spell that actually works
and we're gonna have to dismantle it."

    "What are you talking about?  I only recall Xander's incident of
on Valentine's Day," the librarian said with a frown.

    Willow and Oz looked at her with warning glances and she quickly
replied, "UhàI'm probably just thinking about something elseàumàspeaking
of Xander, what are we going to tell him?"

    "Well, we can't tell him about the love spell, it's gonna make
things worse between him and Buffy later," Willow interjected, "So, why
don't we tell him that the spell that she's under just makes her think
that Angel's back?"

    "I don't know, aren't we all suppose to be under that
assumption?"  Oz said, "Doesn't that mean we're all under a spell?"

    "So, that's out of the question of an excuse," Cordelia said with
a sigh, "Okay, what about telling him it's some weird spell that's making
her think that Angel can do no wrong?  Like say when I saw him doing the
whole sucking thing, Buffy was around and she didn't slay or blink an
eye."

    "That's actually a good idea," Oz admitted in surprise.

    "See, I'm helpful," she smiled.

    "Astounding," answered Giles.

    Cordelia ignored his comment and continued, "Now that that's over
and done with, we just have one more problem to solve before we get into
this magic thing."

    "And what's that?"  Willow asked as Oz and Giles followed with
questioning glances.

    "Who's going to call him?"

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 16 Aug 1998 19:51:22 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Libidinous 14/?

Title~ Libidinous  14/?
Author~ Shani
Notes~ in psychoanalytlic theories, the libido is the driving force behind all
human actions
Summary~  A Buffy/Angel story with a few twists.  Involves characters from
General Hospital, but yoiu donÆt have to watch GH to understand this fic.  I
did change a thing or two around for you GH fans
Disclaimer~  All characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss
Whendon, Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Productions,
and 20th Century Fox.  ôAngelö belongs to Sarah McLachlan and can be found on
her Surfacing cd.  All characters of General hospital belong to ABC.

Chapter 14, Angel

< Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
   For the break that will make it OK
  There's always some reason to feel not good enough
  And it's hard at the end of the day
  I need some distraction or a beautiful release
  Memories seep from my veins
  Let me be empty and weightless and maybe
  I'll find some peace tonight>

    Buffy coughed.  ôRelated how?ö  She was growing more impatient by the second.
The others in the room could feel the tension increase almost as if it were
physically surrounding them.
    ôThis book says that the, I guess we could refer to it as æspiritÆ, of the
Master will be able to walk the earth.  He will engage in battle with the
Slayer.  If he wins, he will take over her body and feed, becoming strong
enough to eventually lead the world to Armageddon.ö  Giles paused, looking at
everyone one in the room, but Buffy.  ôHe will follow after two creatures from
Hell.ö
    ôAngel and Arcanus.ö  Buffy whispered softly.  Giles forced himself to look
at her.  But now it was she that woudnÆt look at him.  ôHow do I kill his
æspiritÆ?  How do I kill him if IÆm a spirit myself...ö  He voice trailed off
in thought.  She thought she had rid herself of this part of the nightmare
that was her life.  She had died once, and wasnÆt prepared to let it happen
again.
    ôIÆm not completely certain.  Perhaps you must be in spirit form.ö
    Buffy barely heard him.  He head was spinning from the memories that rushed
at her.  Why hadnÆt she had dreams of the Master to warn her, as she had
before?  She didnÆt often allow herself to be afraid anymore, but this
terrifed her.  It scared her more than she would like to admitt.  He had
killed her.  She had *died*.  She didnÆt want to face that again.  She wasnÆt
sure if she could.

< In the arms of the Angel far away from here
  From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you feel
  You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
  You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here>

    Angel watched her closely.  He knew how hard that had been on her.  He may be
the only one that realizes it, but itÆs the truth, none the less.  He touched
her shimmering hand.  She looked down at his hand through hers.  They stood
like that.  Thoughts of the Master momentarily gone.

< So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
  There's vultures and thieves at your back
  The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
  That make up for all that you lack
  It don't make no difference, escape one last time
  It's easier to believe
  In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
  That brings me to my knees>

    While Angel comforted Buffy, and everyone else searched for answers that
continued to elude them, Stefan was trying to help Nikolas understand things
as best he could.  Nikolas however, thought he understood perfectly well.
    Nikolas continued to nod at what his uncle was saying, though he had stopped
paying attention several minutes ago.  Eventually, he noticed that his uncle
had gone to help Giles.  Nikolas wanted to help.  He wasnÆt sure what to do,
but he felt it something he needed to do.  Angel had gone to help research.
Buffy was about to follow, but was approached by Nikolas.
    ôI...my uncle told me what happened with the Master.  I wanted to see if you
were ok.ö
    Buffy smiled weakly at him.  ôWhen I died...I thought I was ok with it,
especially after I killed the Master, but I wasnÆt.  I still have nightmares
about him.  He almost killed my friends too.  I...I just didnÆt know how to
express it...because I wasnÆt sure what I was feeling.  I didnÆt want it to
make me weak.ö  She turned to look at him.  ôI spent the summer in L.A. with
my dad.  I was really distant, and he didnÆt get why.  When I got back, I
pretended I was fine.  But...that feeling kept growing.  Eventally I became
closed off and bitchy and all of my friends almost died.  The vamps were
trying to resurect the Master, using his bones.  I ended up smashing them with
a sledgehammer and crying...I donÆt want to go throught that again.  *ThatÆs*
what really scares me.ö  She concluded, her voice in a soft whisper only half
talking to Nik.
    He looked at her.  So far, he knew that she had died, lost her boyfriend, got
him back to loose him again... æWhat other Hell has she been through?Æ  He
wanted to help, now more than ever.

< In the arms of the Angel far away from here
   From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you feel
  You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
  You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here
  In the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here>

------------------------------

End of buffyfic-digest V2 #305
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