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buffyfic-digest         Thursday, July 2 1998         Volume 02 : Number 255



In this issue:

       BUFFYFIC: Reflections 7/7
       BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 42)
       BUFFYFIC: Discuss-- "Fallen From Grace" -- Oy, Help!
       BUFFYFIC: "Fallen From Grace" (10/11)
       BUFFYFIC: "Fallen From Grace" (11/11)
       BUFFYFIC: "Fallen From Grace" (epilogue/11)

See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Wed, 1 Jul 1998 18:53:37 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Reflections 7/7

Title~ Reflections 7/7
Author~Shani
Timeline~ letÆs say between Go Fish and Becoming I & II--Becomings will not
happen here
Summary~ Angelus becomes Angel, but has some thinking to do before going to
Buffy...if he decides to go to Buffy at all.
Disclaimer~ The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whendon,
Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Productions, and 20th
Century Fox.  No infringement intended.  Story for entertainment purposes
only.
Feedback~ YES, YES, YES, YES!!  Please send all comments to [e-mail]


    ôShe should be back by now,ö Angel said pacing across the library.
    ôAccording to the book, if the prayer worked, the room would have been filled
with a bright light that destroys the evil within.  I think that the vampires
knew to get out.  However, Buffy being the slayer, I donÆt know what effect
the light would have had.ö  Giles tried to explain.  He hoped he sounded more
certain than he felt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Buffy was barely able to stand on her own by the time she reached the school
library.  Before entering, she gathered all of her strength, hoping not to
worry any of her friends.
    ôMorninÆö  Buffy said.
    She heard various things from people throughout the room... ôBuff, you ok?ö
ôWhat happened?ö  ôBuffy?ö
    Angel came up to her.  She looked in his eyes.  ôIt worked, I think.  There
was this bright light and when I woke up, I was alone.  Except for this.ö  She
said, handing the flower to Giles.  She closed her eyes, feeling weak.  Angel
tried to help her sit down, but she insisted that she was fine.
    ôWhere did this flower, umm, where did you get this?ö  Giles asked.
    ôIt was just lying there in place of the golamÆs...ashesö  She collasped.
Angel caught her just before she hit the ground.
    ôIÆm taking her home.ö  He said.
    Once again, Giles looked up in time to see Xander, Cordelia, and Willow
staring at the swinging library doors.

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 01 Jul 1998 17:22:24 -0700
From: _-Sun-_ <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 42)

Title: Charlotte Sometimes (part 42)
Author: _-SuN-_
Email Addie: [e-mail]
Rating: R (Well, I AM making someone insane here....)
Warning: There are lots of violent parts! And a coupe sexual scenes.
Nothing a 15 year old living in 1998 couldn't read I think - but I'm
just warning you.
Feedback: Yes! Send it now!
Disclaimer: Drusilla and Angelus belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, Sandollar, 20th Century, the WB, etc. The Story and the other
characters cast are mine! :P~ (but they all die anyways soo...)
Summary: How *did* Drusilla become a vampire?

Charlotte Sometimes (Part 42)

    He looked down at the bundle laying on the cold floor. Her charred
hair, spiraled out away from her body. A disgusting mixture of dirt,
weeds, and blisters all over her once perfect skin.
    Angelus stood up from his kneeling position next to her.
    So Darla was right. He was destroying the person he loved.
    In his rash movements, and nature.. He was killing her.
He hadn't wanted this! Just a little fun... A little something to fill
that gap that had been with him since Spike had left.
He didn't need him, he knew. And he didn't need Darla either.
But it didn't help much - them being gone...

Angelus's head fell into his hands as he growled. He didn't want this
for her. For his precious Drusilla...
    He looked up with reddened eyes.
    What hell had she gone through in that fucking pit of witches because
of him? What hell had she created in herself because of her parents
deaths? What had she gone through nearly three hours ago, because he was
to stupid to realize she would run from him? That the towns people would
run to her? And what new hell would she wake up to?

    Angelus smiled as Drusilla groaned and pushed herself into a new
sleeping position. He thought for a moment she may awaken, and he
slipped into the shadows. That she was to weak to go through anything
that would involve him...
    Angelus thought for a moment, changing his plans, and picked her still
sleeping form from the ground.

*****

    Drusilla awoke on cold pavement sending shivers through her body. She
forced herself to stay still, to not open her eyes for fear of where she
was.. Who she was with... How many times had this scene played itself
out?
She listen to the voices - as they were nearer then faded. Perhaps in
the next room or outside the door, she instantly recognizing one of the
voices...

*


Angelus was minutes away from ripping this mans throat out. "Just, take
care of her? Alright? Can you do that?" He put his hand up, unwilling to
hear the man to speak
"And, *when* I come back and even think for one moment anything bad has
happened to her, your gonna beg for death"
    "Yeah, sure buddy. Don't worry a bit about her. She's in _real_ good
hands."
    Angelus looked the skinny man over. His long brown hair that was
twisted and braided, and he wore a long dark coat conveniently hiding
whatever was behind. It wasn't that Angelus didn't trust the man. Ian
knew about vampires, and was a continues help towards a select few in
the community..  But he didn't like this place. He used to have faith in
Ian's fighting abilities but this place was disgusting. He couldn't
imagine leave Drusilla here in this infested place. Mildew, rats... The
people here looked tough. Violent and tough.
He swore under is breath, as he was quickly running outta options..
    Angelus met Ian's eye's "I'll bet. Look, just give her these" He said
as Angelus tossed a small bag of things he'd managed to escape from the
house. There wasn't much. A dress or two, a brush, he'd gathered about a
dozen roses and tossed them in as to apologize for leaving her in this
forsaken place, and a doll....


- --
_-SuN-_

SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
K  - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/kinky/

    Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for
days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone. Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside
of me (The Cure)

_ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _
  _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _
_ - _   Plan For World Domination, _ - _
  _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 1 Jul 1998 21:50:58 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Discuss-- "Fallen From Grace" -- Oy, Help!

I can't determine if I've already posted chapter nine or not. Could someone
please EM me privately and let me know? Thanks.

Rachel

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 1 Jul 1998 22:02:22 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Fallen From Grace" (10/11)

Notes: Takes place the January or so of Angel's change. E-mail me for missing
pieces. :)
Disclaimers: Blake and the Coordinator, etc, are mine. The rest would appear
to belong to High God Joss.
Distribution: Not without my permission, please.
Feedback: YES! To [e-mail], please, whether it be good or bad or
something in-between.

And now, on to the show!

~

                               Ten

     Breathlessly pounding on the door to Buffy's Watcher's
apartment wasn't something Pike considered to be a great way to
kill time when a fucking _scary_ vampire was after you and there
was basically nothing whatsoever you could do about that fact. On
the other hand, if Stuffy actually opened the door, then he and
Buffy both would be able to cram themselves inside and stop
worrying about Angel. Which would be one hell of a relief, he had
to admit.
     After what must have been at least five minutes, Pike heard
somebody moving inside, and a few seconds later the door opened in
their faces. Hating the fact that Buffy had been protecting his
back while he had been the one pounding on the door, but knowing it
was the best way to handle a situation like this, where she was the
one with the metahuman abilities and he was just the putz from out
of town who had happened to save her life-- he thought, hoped, and
knew was probably untrue-- Pike offered a slight smile when the
door opened. "Uh, hi, hey, could we, um, come in a sec?"
     Stuffy looked at them both for a split second before concern
flooded his expression and he stepped aside. Buffy grabbed Pike's
arm, dragging him in, though Pike wasn't sure why-- it wasn't as
though he would _refuse_ to come in or anything.
     "What happened?" the Watcher asked, glancing from one to the
other.
     Pike shook his head. "Fuckin' _A_, man, this is one crazy
town..."
     "Angel," he heard Buffy say beside him. "He-- he killed
somebody. Left the body back at the mansion."
     "Mansion?" Pike asked, confusion on his face. He hadn't seen
any mansions around here in his entire trip.
     "Killed someone?"
     "Bashed his brain to a pulp on the floor of the garden," Buffy
said quietly, shaking her head at Giles' question. "Spike told me
Angel would be going to the Bronze, and he wound up attacking me on
my way there. Angel, I mean."
     "I...see," Giles replied, still looking half-confused.
     "So what now?" Pike asked.
     Buffy and Giles exchanged glances, shaking their heads.
Finally, the Watcher spoke. "Perhaps," he began, "it would be best
if the two of you stayed here tonight."
     Taking Buffy's hint, Pike nodded. "Yeah, okay," he said.
     Buffy had already started up the stairs, leaving Pike somewhat
confused until she reached the landing halfway up and turned back.
"Giles?" she asked.
     The Watcher turned up to face her. "Yes?" he asked.
     "Do I need to change the sheets in the guest room?"
     Pike raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, simply listening as
the Watcher shook his head. "Not unless you want to," Giles was
saying. "No one else uses it."
     Buffy nodded. "I'm gonna have a shower first," she said,
before turning and moving up the rest of the stairs and out of
sight.
     Once more, Pike found himself alone in a room with the
Watcher. He managed a weak smile. "So," he said, "I take it this
sort of thing happens often?"
     The Watcher nodded, moving to a closet, which he opened and
pulled a few blankets from. Placing the folded material on the
coffee table, he straightened. "Something like that," he affirmed.
"Now, the kitchen," he said, pointing, "is that way. And the
bathroom is through that hallway."
     Pike nodded, cataloguing the information then moving to pick
up the blankets the Watcher had left behind as the other man moved
to walk up the steps. As the water began running upstairs, though,
Pike felt words suddenly rising up into his throat and cleared it.
     Giles turned on the stairs. "Something wrong?" he asked.
     Pike shook his head, forcing himself to keep his eyes on the
Watcher despite the sudden hesitance he felt, the sudden
realization that he was the odd one out, here. Buffy had her place.
She had her life. He was an outsider, and if he didn't separate
himself from her and her life, he was most likely going to drag her
down. She had practically gotten herself killed by that Angel guy,
even though he had shown up in time to smash the bastard with a
flashlight, and if it hadn't been for Pike she never would have
gone in the first place.
     "Pike?" Giles asked again, his voice slightly gentler than it
had been before.
     Pike shook his head. "Nah," he said suddenly, looking at the
Watcher. "Look, I'll clear outta here in the morning."
     Confusion scampered across the Watcher's face, though Pike
could have sworn he saw a trace-- or maybe more than just a trace--
of relief in the older man's expression.
     "You needn't hurry yourself," Giles said quietly with a glance
toward the upstairs hall. "Buffy-- she has enjoyed your company,
what little of it she's been able to have..."
     "Nice try," Pike said, shaking his head slightly. "But y'know,
the thing with lying like that, I mean...it's seriously see-
through. In a major way." He didn't give Giles time enough to
answer, continuing, knowing he had to get the words out before
anything else was said. "I'm a third wheel." He managed a weak
smile, remembering the words that had been exchanged earlier, in
the library. "And hey," he continued, "at least you've _accepted_
that this is your destiny. Hell, I thought I was just hanging
around 'cause she has a killer ass." The joke was hollow, empty.
Pike could tell that both of them knew the words were untrue. For
once, he was thankful for British propriety-- meant this guy
wouldn't try to call him on a lame lie like that one. He hoped.
     For a few seconds, the Watcher just stood there, regarding
Pike carefully. Then finally, Pike got tired of waiting, and
flipped the lamp off, sitting on the edge of the bed.
     Out of the darkness, Giles' voice came. "You'd better wait for
her to wake up in the morning," he said, his tone hard-edged. "If
you don't say good-bye, it _will_ hurt her."
     To that, Pike could think of no adequate response. Instead, he
remained silent while the Watcher's footsteps rang in his ears,
retreating up the staircase.
                                *
     Lying in bed, Giles was finding sleep an unattainable goal.
Pike's words kept ringing in his ears. First the bit from earlier,
in the library. Then, his own words-- condemning the boy for
following his destiny unknowingly, when Giles had to admit that was
the best way to go through life. Not knowing that what you were
doing, you were doing for a reason. Thinking there might be such a
thing as free choice.
     Down the hallway, Buffy was likely asleep, Giles thought as he
glanced toward the clock. It was shortly after three in the
morning, and the two children had showed up on the doorstep around
one.
     Shifting position, Giles tried to make himself stop wondering
what sort of reaction Buffy was going to have when she learned that
Pike was leaving. Part of Giles-- a rather large part-- was furious
with the boy. Showing up like that, insinuating himself into the
situation, and then pulling out when he realized what he'd done.
     At least he had hit the nail on the head, Giles thought to
himself. At least it hadn't been a case of someone's being too
thick to see what he was going to do to Buffy if he wasn't careful
with himself, and Pike certainly hadn't been that.
     But in the morning, Giles thought with an inward sigh, the
price for the carelessness would make itself known-- and Giles had
the feeling it would hardly be a cheap one.
     Or perhaps, he thought to himself, perhaps he was over-
analyzing things. It was perfectly possible that Buffy found the
boy to be as much of an annoyance as did Giles himself. And if that
was the case, then everything might work out perfectly well.
     Letting that thought, no matter how farfetched, quiet the
nagging voice that kept saying perhaps it would have been a better
idea not to inform the young man of the prophecy that supposedly
applied to him, Giles found he was finally able to drift into a
restless sort of sleep.

~

Comments to [e-mail], please!

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 2 Jul 1998 13:11:59 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Fallen From Grace" (11/11)

Notes: Takes place the January or so of Angel's change. E-mail me for missing
pieces. :)
Disclaimers: Blake and the Coordinator, etc, are mine. The rest would appear
to belong to High God Joss.
Distribution: Not without my permission, please.
Feedback: YES! To [e-mail], please, whether it be good or bad or
something in-between.

And now, on to the show!

~

                             Eleven

     A bright light came on overhead, and next thing he knew
somebody had brought a pillow down on Pike's face. Sputtering and
pushing his attacker away, Pike heard girlish giggling, and once he
placed it he felt his own lips widening into a smile. It had been
forever since he'd heard her laugh like that-- it was good to know
she still could.
     "Crap!" he yelled, finally getting a grip on the pillow and
looking into her eyes. "Jeez, Buff, think you could maybe pound my
_face_ in while you're at it?" His tone was a humorous one, and it
was almost a full second before he remembered his words to her
Watcher the night before.
     While he was busy sobering himself with that thought, Buffy
had grabbed his arm and was pulling him out of the seat. "Come on,"
she said. "Giles' got this great balcony-type thing upstairs, the
view of the city's great..." She trailed off, giving his arm
another tug. "Come on," she said.
     Pike managed a smile, and let her guide him up. Before long,
they were standing upstairs and outside, in the warm breeze. Pike
glanced toward Buffy. "You seem pretty...okay," he ventured.
     She smiled a little, nodding. "Yeah," she replied.
     "Any reason?"
     "Giles got a call from the Network, early this morning." Buffy
turned, leaning against the railing and looking back at Pike.
"Turns out, that guy who died? He was the one who was leading the
whole 'let's kill the Slayer' thing."
     Thinking back to the man he had talked to, Pike had no trouble
agreeing that Alistair Blake would be at the head of that kind of
effort.
     "Total bastard," he heard Buffy murmur, though the words were
more to herself than to him. Then she looked up and spoke, and this
time the words _were_ for his ears. "So," she said. "I guess
things...between us...didn't get off to the best start." Dipping
her eyes toward the ground for a moment, Pike felt his heart wrench
inside when she looked back up at him in that quiet, almost
flirtatious way she had. The look that was far too tempered by
maturity to be entirely teenie-bopperly in nature, but at the same
time, had the cast of affection one rarely saw in young women over
the age of twenty. "How long are you around for?"
     Pike swallowed, glancing back out at the view-- which he now
realized, mostly consisted of the next building over. He shrugged.
"I was thinking it might be a good idea to pull out this morning."
He didn't look back at her to see her reaction. He wasn't about to
let himself go that far, because then he would lose all semblance
of resolve and stay here, no matter how bad an idea he had decided
staying would be.
     "This morning?" Buffy whispered, her incredulity blazing like
a beacon at night.
     "Yeah," Pike said gruffly, scuffing the sole of his sneaker on
the fire escape's floor. "Get some distance between me and this
place, you know, before..."
     Buffy shook her head. "I don't understand," she said. "I
thought you wanted to visit. Talk. And stuff."
     Pike swallowed, smiling faintly. "Yeah," he said, "but I mean,
how much of that is there to do, right? I mean--" He broke off the
bullshit, seeing the pain in her eyes grow by orders of magnitude,
and swallowed hard. "Buff," he said quietly, "I gotta get out of
here. Away from this...the slayage thing."
     "I don't under--"
     Reaching out to place a finger on her lips, Pike shook his
head. How was he supposed to tell her this? He loved her, almost
too much to do something like this. But even more importantly, he
told himself, he had to love her enough to tell her the truth. If
he was going to do this. Walk into her life and then pick up and
go. Deep inside-- well, maybe not so deep-- he knew a part of him
was glad to know she would miss him. But the same part was also
upset that he was the cause of what had to be just another piece of
pain on top of everything else that had happened to her.
     "Your Watcher..." He shook his head. "Look, Buff, I don't know
how to say this. Your Watcher says it's fate. That I'm supposed to
be here, giving what I've got for...this quest." He shook his head,
smiling faintly. "Hey, though, he said somethin' about me being
destined to be one of them, too, so it's like, you know, not
something I'm putting a lotta stock in." Seeing his lame attempts
at lightening the moment were far from working, Pike sighed and
shook his head. "Okay," he said, "lemme start over."
     Just watching him, silent, Buffy nodded. She hadn't moved
since he had put his finger over her lips, and she didn't move now.
Slowly, Pike took his finger away and ran the hand through his
hair, almost nervously.
     "I mean, we have a great thing going here. Friends and all,"
he added quickly. Then he shook his head. "But at the same
time...it's like, I don't want to wake up in ten years and find out
I was playing the fool for fate. You know?"
     Her voice trembled when she spoke. "Lucky you. You've got a
choice."
     Pike winced at the tone, and shook his head. "Buff," he said,
"look, I didn't want it to come out like that, I just--"
     She pulled away from him, shaking her head. "You just want a
normal life." Nodding, the Slayer took another step back. "Yeah. I
can understand that."
     Pike shook his head. "I'd stay. I really would. But I want to
make sure this is _my_ choice, and not fate's."
     "I understand," Buffy repeated, shaking her head slowly. "I
mean...you couldn't have stayed anyway. You have classes."
     "And you've got your life, and uh, and Slaying, and..." God,
did he ever sound like an idiot. Up until this morning, he had
thought looking at Buffy was even a way to prove to himself that he
wasn't the world's biggest fool. Then he'd had to go and tell her
he was leaving. And why. *Excellent fucking move, O High Putzly
One.*
     With a final sigh, Pike watched her, wondering what she would
do if he moved forward to kiss her goodbye. Would she push him
away, evading him like she had in the library? Or would she let him
have one, final kiss.
     "I'm sorry," Pike said quietly, realizing that within himself,
there was no way that he was strong enough to take the chance. This
way, if he didn't do anything at all, then at least there was still
the possibility that if he ever saw her again...things might be
different. Might be okay.
     "I know," Buffy replied softly.
     "I have to go," Pike said. "Losing daylight."
     "I know," she replied. Her voice was even, and suddenly Pike
realized the Slayer's eyes had gone cold. "Good luck," she offered
him, without warmth.
     You too, he wanted to say, but somehow the words caught in his
throat.
     Without saying another word, because he'd always been horrible
with good-byes and he'd already botched this one up more than he'd
thought possible, Pike walked around Buffy, back into the house,
then down and out of the building, walking away as quickly as he
could, never looking back up toward the girl who stood silently on
the fire escape three floors up in the sky.

~

Comments to [e-mail], please!

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 2 Jul 1998 13:12:03 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Fallen From Grace" (epilogue/11)

Notes: Takes place the January or so of Angel's change. E-mail me for missing
pieces. :)
Disclaimers: Blake and the Coordinator, etc, are mine. The rest would appear
to belong to High God Joss.
Distribution: Not without my permission, please.
Feedback: YES! To [e-mail], please, whether it be good or bad or
something in-between.

And now, on to the show!

~

                            Epilogue

     Almost as soon as Alistair Blake's death had been made known
to the public, a young Frenchman, Lucien Langille, heard a knock on
the door to the flat he had rented for his stay in London.
     "Yes?" he called, glancing upward.
     The door was pushed open quickly, and a short, bearded man
waddled his way to the middle of the room. Lucien snorted in
distaste, then put his personal feelings toward the smaller man
aside and did his best to appear interested in whatever it was the
troll had come to tell him.
     "Blake's dead," the little man said, his voice scratching with
each word.
     Lucien raised an eyebrow. "Is he, now," he said quietly. Deep
in his gut, there was a sudden feeling that now, things might
actually start rolling at a suitable pace-- for him and his
interests, that was. He smiled slightly, nodding. "Thank you,
then," he murmured, already moving to lift the phone, his fingers
already dialing a number.
     "My pleasure, Sir," replied the servant, before turning and
skittering away, shutting the door securely behind himself and
leaving Langille to begin moving affairs into a more satisfactory
order.

THE END
(Or is it?)

~

Comments to [e-mail], please. I have the barest hints of an idea for
a sequel bouncing around in my head, so if people enjoyed this story and think
it's worth reading more about, please let me know, because if I don't know
what people thought of this one then I won't know how to present the second
story.

Thanks all for reading!

Rachel

------------------------------

End of buffyfic-digest V2 #255
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