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From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest)
To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com
Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #178
Reply-To: $SENDER
Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com
Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com
Precedence: bulk
buffyfic-digest Monday, May 11 1998 Volume 02 : Number 178
In this issue:
BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Four -- (1/1)
BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Broken Bonds
BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 14)
BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 15)
BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 16)
BUFFYFIC: VampsAnon-Step three -Acceptance (1/7) by Andrea
See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 11 May 1998 14:35:12 EDT
From: KylenRevik <KylenRevik@aol.com>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Four -- (1/1)
This is chapter four of thirteen. Please contact me at KylenRevik@aol.com for
any inquiries regarding missing pieces and I'll mail them to you. Also, please
send any and all comments or questions to KylenRevik@aol.com, as well. Thank
you.
~
"Part Four: Shift"
Place: Sunnydale University.
Time: November 20th, 2002.
Wandering across the lawn of Sunnydale U's main strip, Buffy
was madly trying to put her thoughts back in order. She had been
thinking about her plans for four night's hence, when she had
crashed into an older guy-- not too old, and slightly attractive,
but still older-- and lost her train of thought.
She shivered a little as a cool breeze swept across the grass,
then continued on her way-- she was meeting Xander and Willow in
the café by the theater department, and hopefully Cordelia would be
able to get a break from designing costumes for the production of
"Tommy" the college drama department was putting on.
The walk was only a few minutes long, since she'd cut through
the computer science building, and she arrived just in time to see
Xander and Willow setting up a three-handed game of go fish. She
dropped her books next to her chair, picking up her hand. "You two
fix the deck?" she asked, only half joking.
"Nah," Xander said, grinning from across the table, "'cause I
could kick your butt without cheating."
Willow rolled her eyes, but let the two friends make cracks at
each other.
Buffy shook her head. "You need to get your hair cut," she
said, "and give me all your twos."
Xander shook his head, letting his hair-- which he'd been
letting grow for nearly three months-- shake in his face. "None.
You don't like the hair?"
Buffy pulled a card from the pile and shook her head. "It's
too long," she said, reaching out for the hair that covered his
forehead and dangled into his line of sight. "I'd say you should
chop it off..." She leaned across the table, reaching toward his
hair. "Right...about--"
"There you are!" Cordelia called from the entrance to the
café's patio.
Buffy turned and waved for Cordelia to come over, and Xander
dragged a chair up for his fiancé. Buffy couldn't help but feel a
slight twinge of jealousy when her eyes caught the sparkle of
Cordelia's diamond engagement ring in the sunlight. For some
reason, every time she saw Xander and Cordelia together, she was
struck by a feeling of incredible...longing. Aching inside her.
That was part of why she was going to confront Angelus, she told
herself firmly as Willow got a set of threes, and Cordelia snaked
an arm around Xander's. They really were the perfect couple, Buffy
told herself, and refocused on her cards.
A half hour later, on the third hand of the game, Buffy
abruptly sniffed the air.
Willow raised an eyebrow. "Buffy? Is everything, you know,
okay?"
Buffy nodded. "Yeah..." she trailed off, looking over at
Xander. "Hey, are you wearing cologne or something?"
Xander shook his head. "No," he said, as though it were the
oddest question he'd ever been asked. "Why on earth would I be
wearing _cologne_?"
"Because it makes you smell nice," Cordelia purred. "Not that
you don't smell nice already--"
"Be_cause_," Buffy interrupted, "I thought I smelled something
similar, earlier...weird." She shook her head. "Never mind. Just
one of those things." The other three gave her an odd look.
"Really," she said. "Xander, your turn.
"Okay," he said. "Buffy, give me all your sixes."
With a glare, Buffy forked over.
*
Place: Sunnydale University, Library.
Time: November 20th, 2002.
"Buffy," Giles spoke up from behind her, "where do you think
you're going?"
Keys to the storeroom in hand, Buffy turned back with a
slight, guilty smile. "I...what?"
He nodded at the keys in her hand, and she smiled slightly.
"Oh, _those_!" she said.
"I thought we had agreed, you were going to ask me about
borrowing books from now on."
"We did?" She put on her best 'I'm-an-innocent-little-girl'
look, wondering if it would work. Of course, it didn't. Giles had
been dealing with her for years now, puppy-dog eyes had lost their
effectiveness. Unfortunately. She sighed, seeing in his eyes that
she wasn't going to get away with it, this time. "Giles," she said,
hamming up the politeness to an almost ridiculous degree, "may I
please borrow your keys so I can get into the storeroom?"
Giving her a semi-satisfied smile, Giles nodded. "Of course,"
he said. "Just please make sure you don't spill anything in there
this time."
Buffy felt heat creeping into her cheeks. "You _know_ I didn't
mean to drop my coffee cup--"
"Buffy," Giles interrupted, "I was kidding." He sighed. "Is
everything all right?"
"Yeah," she replied quickly. "Everything's fine. I just have
a few things I need to take care of. Which I am now going to take
care of, thanks."
Not waiting for an answer, she turned back to the door and
slipped the keys into the lock, turning it and pushing the door
open.
Now that Giles was working at the university instead of at the
high school, he had more space, and he kept his vampire hunting
paraphernalia locked away in the library's storeroom. Not wanting
to grant free access to the student body, Giles kept the door
locked and asked that the Slayer and her friends check with him
before going in-- just in case anyone happened to be around and
wondering what they were doing snooping around behind locked doors.
Stepping between the first two rows of books, Buffy moved
about eight feet into the room. Then the shelf on her left took a
left turn into another short row. At the end of that row, the shelf
broke off and she stepped into the small space where Xander and Oz
had moved a table in for the group to sit at when, invariably, they
would have meetings regarding the latest problems with Sunnydale's
undead population.
Today, the problems she had to think about were nowhere near
such a grand scale. She just wanted to have some time to herself,
to think. And to research.
She reached into her backpack and pulled out a long, black
candle, then left it on the table and went to pull the brown book
she had borrowed from Giles a few days ago off the shelf. The page
she had marked was still folded over-- though she had debated
whether or not she should leave such an obvious hint as to what she
was planning, she had finally decided she didn't have any reason to
think any of her friends would randomly select this one, rather
innocuous reference book off the shelf, and she was safer marking
the page than relying on her memory to keep track of what page she
was on.
There was a rustling of pages as she opened the book and set
it down on the table, rereading the words she had looked over so
many times already.
At this point,
the book read,
it is imperative that the caster of the curse be acutely
aware of her surroundings. The candle must be lit
immediately after the second stanza of the chant, and the
failure to do this will result in the failure of the
Buffy sighed, glanced over the rest of the page, then bit her
lip and shook her head. There was no way she would be able to
memorize this. For a few seconds, she debated taking the entire
book with her. Then she shook her head. Giles had made it clear
that he didn't want verified books on the occult floating around
campus, and if he caught her with one of them he would insist upon
her giving him a satisfactory explanation.
She took a breath, then grasped the upper corner of the book
and tore sharply downward. Quickly, she placed the book back on the
shelf and moved to leave, slipping the sheet into her pocket.
She stopped moving as she heard someone pushing the door open.
Her heartbeat quickened, and she did her best to put on a
nonchalant expression. If this was Giles, she couldn't look guilty
or make it seem as though there were some sort of problem.
But it wasn't Giles. Two adults walked in, a man and a woman,
and there was something vaguely familiar about each of them. Buffy
swallowed. "Excuse me," she said, "but what are you doing in here?"
Neither answered her for a moment, and Buffy fought to try and
figure out where it was she knew them from. Her mind ran up against
a brick wall.
The man reached out for her, and she took a step back. "Uh,
no," she said. "Excuse me."
She thought she heard the man call her name as she shoved past
them and ran out of the library.
~
All comments, questions, or requests for missing pieces to KylenRevik@aol.com,
please.
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 11 May 1998 16:54:02 -0400
From: Aisha Bewley <ABewley@compuserve.com>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Broken Bonds
I really like this story and am eager to see where it goes.
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 11 May 1998 15:13:20 -0700
From: LadySun <KBleyle@earthlink.net>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 14)
Charlotte Sometimes (part 14)
Drusilla awoke with a smile. Stretching her arms out, she went to
slowly stand. Her eyes rippled open, pushing the still sleeping lids
awake.
Her idle glance widened in shock as she looked at her surroundings, and
gradually she remembered where she was.
Her jaw nearly dropped.
Looking around, Angelus was no where to be found.
A small bit of piece to know they *hadn't* slept together.
Her mother had told her not to stay out late.
She had stayed all night!
Drusilla stood up and groaned in pain, taking her less then a second to
realize she had slept in her church clothes last night. She wondered
tediously how she had even managed to fall sleep in her painfully
corseted dress, and found, that as she remembered the night with
Angelus. The talking, the laughing, the time spent... She could easily
fall asleep on a bed of needles, so long as he were there.
There was no light coming in from the thick curtain, She had no
perception of what time it may be. Not knowing if it was still the day!
~
His eyes darted from unnatural sleep. Her heartbeat had sped up. He'd
been listening absently to the peaceful pace, but as of now he knew she
was awake.
He turned himself over, lying on his back. He had to blink his eyes at
least a dozen times to convince them to stay open. It'd been a while
since he'd woken up during the daytime.
But then, if Darla had taught him one thing, it was that a vampire
could stay awake for large amounts of time without even thinking of
sleep..
His eyes light up as he remembered the particular lesson, and stood up
from his make shift bed.
~
She was half way down the stairs, looking around, almost franticly
wondering where Angelus was, wondering where she was, having not paid
attention when he led her through the woods. She saw him. letting out a
deep breath.
"Angelus!" She whispered loudly.
Angelus nearly laughed at the scene before him, she looked so ragged,
and frantic. But still beautiful, still just as perfect as she had been
the night before, and the night before that.
"Hmm? Your up early, I would have thought you'd sleep through the day."
Drusilla suddenly realizing what she was doing, began to smooth out her
hair and dress. "I... Umm... I... Umm.. I" her stuttering was so
self-conscious...
"Woke up" Angelus finished with a smile.
There eyes locked again for one more precious moment, each feeling
completely safe in the others presence, each hoping for something more.
Each having a completely different out look on the situation entirely.
"I have to be getting home now" She began to panic. She was at a guys
house, looking like a common whore. What would her mother think? What
did Angelus think?
~
Beautiful.
Soap bubble thoughts exploded once again, and he began to wonder if it
would happen whenever she was around.
Not that it was a bad thing. Kind of interrupted his plans a bit, but
how he loved his precious kid.
She should be high upon the largest cloud so all the world may gaze at
her beauty. True heaven.
But she spoke now, and expected an answer.
Go home? The thought made him laugh, what was he to do, go out in the
sun?
Parents may be worried, yadda, yadda, yadda.
"I'm afraid I lack the coachmen to take you anywhere, fair Drusilla,
but if we wait a bit longer I may take you home? We could walk."
~
Her face heated up and she was sure her face was scarlet.
But he wanted to walk her home, to spend more time with her even after
the spectacle she had made of herself last night, and this morning,
right now.
She nodded.
If she came home with a man, her mother would expect that she'd been
safe all night. No worries.
- --
~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<KBleyle@Earthlink.Net>
~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~
SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html
We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure Wish)
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 11 May 1998 15:52:26 -0700
From: LadySun <KBleyle@earthlink.net>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 15)
Charlotte Sometimes (part 15)
"Ahh, but from what you told me, it does not seem so awful."
Drusilla smiled as Angelus moved another branch from her way "You don't
live with them!" She laughed.
They both laughed.
She felt so free. That she didn't have to fit some perfect mold, have
some perfect face, perfect manners, perfect ways. That she could be
herself, imperfect Drusilla
"But I do not mean them ill will. My sister is so darling, her smile
could melt your heart."
~
He raised his eyebrow, wondering if it would be a bit *too* forward of
him to reach for her hand.
They were almost there. At her house. He could have found his way here
with his eyes closed. But he allowed Drusilla to lead him, as though
he'd never been to her house.
"I cannot give my mother marks for her minds, but she's so incredibly
gentle. The nicest lady your ever to see." He smiled
"oh! Turn here." She smiled back.
"I've talked enough for one night. Tell me of your family."
He looked down, pausing for a moment. The tension was beautiful.
"My parents are dead"
~
His words stopped her heart. She hadn't meant to upset him, or cause
him to mourn.
"I...I'm so sorry."
She followed his gaze to the ground.
~
It wasn't that he cared. Just wondered leisurely what her reaction
would be. He wondered again what her expression would be when she found
her fathers body.
"Where're...here." She said as though afraid to speak
"I've upset you" He stopped outside of their families quarters. "I'm
sorry Dru. Don't think ill of me"
Her eyes flew open "Never" She shook her head. "Was my fault. I
shouldn't have.."
"How could you know?"
There was a pause, as Drusilla considered.
She looked up into his eyes, they gazed into hers. And stupid as it may
seem, she could see the compassion, see the love in them. And for such a
brief second she thought.. she hoped for just that instant, that he
might kiss her?
But his head turned away.
Shyly?
"I look forward to seeing you again." he smiled taking her warm hand in
his cold.
She nodded, as he kissed her palm, turning over her hand.
- --
~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<KBleyle@Earthlink.Net>
~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~
SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html
We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure Wish)
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 11 May 1998 16:21:07 -0700
From: LadySun <KBleyle@earthlink.net>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 16)
Charlotte Sometimes (part 16)
She smiled watching him leave down the road. Her stomach just might
have exploded from that tension.
Oh! But how wonderful! Her head was spinning with glee.
She looked at the palm of her hand, thinking how odd it was.
She could feel the exact place his lips had touched.
If this was love, she wanted more! So much more!
She turned to go inside, suddenly realizing, (as she hadn't noticed all
night with Angelus) how very chilled it was.
The minute she stepped inside her house the nurse came running towards
her.
"Where have you been madam?!" such words hissed, worried sick as Dru
could tell.
"You're mothers been so frantic, oh my! We fear the worst! I--"
"That'll be enough nurse."
Her mother was walking towards her, looking absolutely exasperated,
though she managed to control her adrenaline.
"Where have you been Drusilla?"
Drusilla took off her coat handing it to the nurse, stalling.
"I've been with Angelus."
Calm, cool, knowing. Her voice sounded so much braver than her insides.
"In his bed?" She hissed.
Drusilla's eyes widened in shock.. She refused to look down at the
ground, she'd show no shame though she had been in his bed.. But under
the circumstances and the implication she felt in the right to say "No,
we talked"
"All night?"
Dru nodded.
~
She was taking her daughter at face value. But if she knew her daughter
at all, she knew that Drusilla wouldn't sleep with a man, unworthy,
unmarried!
She let out a deep sigh. Her face lightened up.
Drusilla had met a man! And such a handsome fellow! She would have to
talk with him, to understand his intentions of course, but so much more.
Giddily she grabbed hold of her wrist jumping about and turning her
daughter to the couch.
~
She wasn't shocked at all at her mothers turn of character, she was
well used to this charade Isabelle loved to play. But she was tired, and
didn't feel like answering questions....
Something shook in her. Pushing down her heart, till she felt it might
burst, and then it did, she was sure of its' shatter and saw a glimpse
of the demon, soaked in blood. The one she no longer could label and
angel.
"Where's father?"
- --
~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<KBleyle@Earthlink.Net>
~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~
SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html
We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure Wish)
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 11 May 1998 16:50:15 PDT
From: "Andrea Newbery" <anewbery@hotmail.com>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: VampsAnon-Step three -Acceptance (1/7) by Andrea
Title: Vampires Anonymous -Step six - Acceptance
Author: Andrea Newbery
e-mail: anewbery@hotmail.com
Distribution: sure, as long as I know where.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: everything up to now, but nothing specific after Passion
Summary: Spike angst. This story is set immediatly after Vampires
Anonymous. It started out being a Spike and Angel road trip, but Spike
kept insisting I explain how he dealt with getting his soul back. If you
havenÆt read Vampires Anonymous and would like to, please e-mail me and
I will send it to you. If you donÆt want to read it, you can still read
this one. All you need to know is that when Willow restored AngelÆs soul
she restored the souls of all the vampires in the factory at the time.
And the scooby gang formed a support group to help the vampires adjust.
Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Spike et al. are the property of
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB and whoever elseà No copyright
infringement intended. Please donÆt sue me IÆm already up to my neck in
debt!
Feedback: Please...good, bad, whatever!
"Hi my name is Angel and I have a soul."
Spike stared at the front of the room, fingers clenching his cup. His
eyes narrowed and he barely held back a snort of disbelief. The anger
rose through his body, the demon urging it on. He swallowed and shook
his head, his thoughts raging. That's it. That do-good vampire has
upstaged me for the last time. His chair practically vibrated with
rage. This is MY night. Well, mine and Dru's. Angel can't be doing this
again. The same old angst-ridden, oh-so-guilty Angel, who only has to
drop his shoulders to command everyone's attention. He has done nothing
to deserve everyone's respect. Nothing at all. I, on the other hand,
have been turning my world upside down to make amends for all the stuff
I did before. So he helps the slayer. He doesn't do it to make up for
anything like the rest of us. He does it cause he's sleeping with her.
That's the problem with him, no matter what good deeds I do or how well
I adjust to being a good guy, Angel is always better. I guess by virtue
of the fact that the slayer loves him. I wonder if he ever told her he
slept with my girlfriend during his 'change'. Probably. He is forever
going on about all the horrible things he has done. Like the rest of us
have never done anything horrible? And the ' I should never be forgiven'
stuff he's always going on about. It's enough to make me want to endure
the guilt of driving a stake into his heart. Does he ever listen to
anyone? It wasn't our fault, our souls were not in control of our
actions. Yadda Yadda Yadda, get over it! It's his girlfriend and her
gang preaching the stuff. It's not like I'm trying to convince him of
it. Everyone felt guilty when our souls were first restored, but I'm not
going to waste the rest of my life crying over spilt blood. Like I
always say, let pretty boy have his angst, I'm having fun. Not that I'm
having fun right now, the rest of this night isn't going to be exactly
as I had planned it. Though whatever does anymore? Since our 'change',
life has become something of an experiment, which if done in a lab would
have resulted in several small fires and one indescribably awful stench.
Too bad it was done in my life.
Spike could feel the ridges threatening to appear on his forehead. He
reached out to grab Dru's hand to calm himself but she pulled away,
still fascinated by Angel after all this time. What did that guy have
anyway? Why was he so fascinating? Spike swallowed, disgusted suddenly
by the taste of cow's blood and cake lingering in his mouth. It was so
unfair, really, because he had dealt with his guilt he was somehow less
than Angel. Like not dealing with it was better. He suffered after his
soul was restored. Done more than suffer; he actually tried to end it,
to end his existence. The pain had been so horrible, feeling bad for all
the things he had done. The only thing that kept him going, in the first
weeks, had been Dru. He had a responsibility to her. She was the one
thing he hadn't done wrong. Even as a demon he always tried to do right
by her. He held onto that when the pain of his reality got too bad. But
after the first few weeks, after the first meetings, listening to
innocents speak about forgiveness, the pain became almost unbearable.
At one time or another he attempted to kill the whole lot of them or at
least wanted to. And they forgave him. Not even forgave, absolved. It
wasn't his fault. Too bad they didn't have the memories of the demons'
pleasure running in surround sound through their heads. They had no way
to understand what it was like. He didn't understand how Angel could
have done it, could have lived with what he had done. For a hundred
years when he couldn't imagine living with his memories for another
month. And he had never been as vile as Angel, not even at his very
worst. He finally decided to end it. Knowing the slayer and her gang
would take care of Dru, he got into his car, that he actually had to pay
for, and took off. Planning to drive into the sunlight, instead he drove
into the only salvation he would probably ever know. Spike looked at
Angel still running off at the mouth and slipped into his memories of
that time.
He remembered driving until almost dawn, then spotting a rundown church
at the end of a gravel lane. It sat inviting him in. He laughed thinking
it only fitting his life should end there. Parking the car he walked up
to the doors and pulled on one of the handles. He remembered his
surprise that it wasn't locked. Walking into the lobby he stared down
the aisle to the altar. He looked around at the wooden pews covered in
dust and the blood-red carpet worn and fading. Dropping his head into
his hands he started to moan. He stumbled blindly towards the altar
convinced, for a short moment, if he could get there he could be saved.
Tripping on the landing he fell awkwardly to the floor. He lay there
staring up at the cathedral ceiling and the stained glass window with
its intricate coloring. Grabbing the altar he pulled himself up and
stopped in shock. It was set as though a service would be starting
shortly. Surprised, he looked around to see if anyone was there, but he
was alone. Picking up the cross that lay there he held it between his
hands as they burned. It didn't hurt; he was beyond feeling pain that
insignificant. He knelt before the altar still holding the cross,
taking it and touching it to his forehead. The sizzling as his flesh
burned away was reassuring to him, proved to him that he understood how
evil he was... this body was. He wanted so badly to become part of the
dust that covered this church. Putting his hands together he began to
pray, stumbling over forgotten phrases, but slowly becoming surer in his
plea. "Our father...who...Our Father who art... art...in
heaven...hallowed be thy name. This is just wrong...You know what I've
done, the people I have killed. I have no right to ask anything. I want
to say sorry. I wish I could take back what I have done. I want to end
it now; I can't deal with what I have done. Probably I should continue
to exist, like Angel, to suffer more, but I can't. I'm not strong
enough..."
______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
------------------------------
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