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From: Anexsin <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Ties That Bind (9/10)
Date: 01 Apr 1998 17:23:34 EST

Title: The Ties That Bind (9/10)
Author: Melinda Frango
Email Addy: [e-mail]
Rating: PG
Spoiler: All episodes before Passion.
Distribution: Ask first
Feedback: Greatly appreciated.
Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc.
Only the story is mine, and whatever characters never seen or mentioned
on the show.
Summary: Buffy and the gang get help from an unexpected source in
restoring Angel's soul.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Caitlin remained silent for another long moment before
speaking. Angel simply watched her, knowing full well
what this conversation was going to be about.

 'I know what you are going to say," he offered
breaking the silence.

"Oh, you do?" Caitlin asked slightly amused.

"Yeah, you're going to tell me not to feel guilty, that it
wasn't my fault, that it wasn't me."

"Well, sort of. What I was really going to say was that
she needs you," Cailtin informed him.

"Who? Buffy?" he asked already knowing the answer.

Caitlin nodded her head and continued.

"She loves you," she said simply.

"She deserves better, and I doubt she still loves me after everything
I did to her," Angel explained sadly.

"Angelus did those things, but she loves Angel. She doesn't want
anyone else but you," Caitlin paused to take a deep breath. "She's
that girl you always dreamed about meeting. Someone independent,
strong, loving, don't give up on her so easily."

Now Angel was staring at the ceiling. "I just need some time to deal
with everything that has happened, and I don't know how long that
will take."

"You should've seen her face when I told her I was here to return
your soul," Caitlin smiled slightly. "I've never seen a smile as big
as hers. She wants to help you through this. To be there for you
like you've been there for her," she explained.

When Angel didn't respond or even glance at her, she spoke more firmly.

"Look! I happen to know for a fact that none of them hate you. It's
just hard for them to accept that a friend of theirs that was so nice
and caring one day could turn into a evil, demonic creature the next.
You and the demon are two different beings sharing the same body,
you are not the same person!"

"Fine believe what you want, but I'm the one feeling the pain and the
guilt of his actions. He lurks right beneath my skin, and  he's always
there, reminding of what I am," Angel almost shouted.

"Like I said before your soul is permanently housed in
your body. It can't leave again, but the demon can. That's
what I've been doing since that day you....well you know.
I've been searching for a cure for vampirism, and I promise
you that if it takes me 1000 years I'll find it, and you know
I always keep my promises," Caitlin choked out.

"Why do you want to waste your life looking for something that
doesn't exist. If no one's found it by now, no one ever will," Angel
said quietly.

"I'm going to find it," she implied sternly.

Angel's eyes glazed over and he drew her into hug.

"I missed you so much," he whispered into her hair.

"I missed you to. Oh, Xander says to tell you, that he doesn't
hate you despite the window incident." Caitlin repeated.

Angel looked at her skeptically for a moment, until realization
dawned on him. Angel smiled and started laughing.

"Xander doesn't hate me? That has got to be a first. I thought
he'd be happy because he actually does have a reason to hate
me now."

"Now tell me something, if Xander does't hate you do you really
think the rest of them do?" Caitlin asked.

"I don't know. Like I said I need to deal with this in my own way.
 I don't want to put any of them in danger ever again, especially Buffy."

"Think of it this way, Angelus is the evil twin, and Angel is the
good twin. Blame the guilt on him, it was his fault after all,"
Caitlin smirked.

"You never did cease to amaze me," Angel smiled. "Even
when things are so horrible that laughter seems miles away,
you can always make me laugh."

"Stop, or you'll make me cry." Caitlin pretended to sob.

"Now you have some explaining to do, sister dear. How did
you come to be here, as in not dead."

"Oh, boy.  It's a good thing we have forever to live because
this may just take that long."

"Well like you said I have forever, let's hear it," Angel persisted
while taking a comfortable seat on his couch, glad to have
persuaded his sister from continuing their recent conversation.
"But I do have something to do when your done," he added with
a cryptic smile.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  Buffy was sitting on her bed silently staring at her open math
book, until the ringing of the telephone broke her out of her daze.

"Hello," she greeted.

"Hey, it's Willow. I just wanted to see how you were doing,"
Willow stated concerned.

"I'm doing alright, I guess."

"Has he showed up or called?" she asked.

"No, I think he's avoiding me. You don't know how bad I want
to go see him," Buffy answered.

"I think I do," Willow smiled to herself.

"I'm just glad he's back, and Angelus won't be back to
terrorize us anytime soon," Buffy breathed a sigh of relief.

"Believe me so am I." Willow hurriedly added. "Why don't you
get some sleep, you sound like you could use it, and don't worry
everything will turn out fine. It's just a feeling I have."

"Thanks Will, you're a great friend. Goodnight," Buffy supressed
a yawn.

"Goodnight, Buffy. Sleep tight," Willow responded before
placing the telephone back on its cradle.

Buffy hung up the phone, and slipped into a pair pajamas.
Before laying down in bed she opened her window and glanced
out  feeling as if someone was watching her. She smiled slightly
and shook her head. "No, I'm daydreaming again," she whispered
to herself. The past few weeks were finally taking their toll on her,
exhaustion overcame her and she was asleep as soon as her head
hit the pillow.

Little did she know of the lone figure hiding in the shadows
watching her bedroom window, waiting for the lights to go out.
As soon as it did the figure climbed onto the roof and seated
himself outside of her window. The figure stood vigil over her
as she slept, and took comfort in the fact that she was alive
and safe.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
End of part 9.......to be continued.

-



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From: "Clare H." <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS:
Date: 01 Apr 1998 18:35:50 EST

I can also relate. I'm on three (it used to be four) lists, I get a
newsletter once a week, and I used to get three jokes a day, not to
mention my e-mail crazy friends...(but of course I *love* all the
attention!)

    Clare
    [e-mail]

----Original Message Follows----
Reply-To: [e-mail]

In a message dated 98-03-29 23:59:15 EST, you write:

<< Ingrid, I'd LOVE the challenge...but unfortunetly I'm already in the
 middle of Three Lists, 9 Fanfics plus stuff on the side...do you have
 any idea how much e-mail a day you get from 3 Lists? It's HELL, Hehehe.
  >>

You know how much mail you get from 3 lists? Try 4 lists! Plus I'm on
the FK
War loop and 8 newsgroups. The amount of messages I read each night is
incredible. Why do I read so many. Cause it's fun!!!!!

Nastassia

-




______________________________________________________
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From: "Bernie Baguley" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Date: Thu, 2 Apr 1998 10:20:53 +1000
Date: 01 Apr 1998 17:23:37 -0700

unsubscribe

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: RE: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: FORMATTING GUIDELINES
Date: 02 Apr 1998 01:41:43


--- On Tue, 31 Mar 1998 20:40:11 PST  "Leslie S."
<[e-mail]> wrote:

>I am sure that I as well as most of the list
subscribers ignores the
>re-issuance of the list rules on its regular basis.
But I wanted to
>point out that #7 is really important!!!

Yep, this is the one that'll mean I'll need heaps of
help when it comes to posting my story. I'm gonna be
begging more intelligent people to count lines for me!
I'm real stupid when it comes to numbers.

>It is very hard to read a story with irregular line
breaks, so much so
>that often times I will not finish a story.
>
>PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take a moment to check your
format when sending
>stories to the list.

I am *so* relieved I'm not the only one with this
problem. :) But even more than that I'm incredibly
relieved that I haven't been suspended for forgetting
to put DISCUSS in my headers <blush>. I promise I'll
try to be a model citizen in future. :)

Betzi


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From: GothGirl77 <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: That Was The Day 2/2
Date: 01 Apr 1998 20:09:31 EST

That was so funny! Xander in a bunny suit! Oh man, they have to do an April
Fool's episode of Buffy. It would be hilarious! This would be perfect for it.
Xander in a bunny suit, man, my face hurts from laughing.

Nastassia

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From: "Andrea Newbery" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Enough, (1/3) by Andrea
Date: 01 Apr 1998 18:43:33 PST

Title:Enough
Author: Andrea Newbery
e-mail: [e-mail]
Distribution: sure, as long as I know where.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: everything up to KbD
Summary: Definitly a Buffy/Angel story. A resolution to the events of
Innocence though not exactly how I wanted it to go.
Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Buffy et al. are the property of
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB and whoever elseà No copyright
infringement intended. Please donÆt sue me IÆm already up to my neck in
debt!
Feedback: Please...good, bad, whatever!






  Kill him Buffy please. It ran through his head continually, a mantra
of pain.  He remembered it so clearly, the demon breaking through, his
soul coming loose from his body. He knew in those few seconds how much
of a mistake it had been to get close to her. The demon would hate her
for that, for the love he felt for her. He expected to disappear thenà
to float without thought like he had the first time. Oh God, the first
time, before heÆd been summoned back and known in an instant the horror
the demon had committed in his name. The crimes he was responsible for,
crimes the demon had enjoyed committing. This time he hadnÆt gone very
far, still floated without form, had to watch the pain the demon
inflicted on her. The words he said to her, the torture the demon put
her and her friends through. These people, good people, who were now
paying for his sins.
 Every harsh word she said about him, to him, gave him hope, but thenà
nothing. His body still walked, still torturedàstill killed. The demon
had killed Jenny. This pain was too new, too fresh, he didn't know how
to deal with it. The only thing he understood was that she had to kill
his body. He had thought that the first moments after the gypsy curse
had been painful. They were nothing compared to this; this was his Buffy
the demon was torturing. He did thisà knew it, accepted that the blame
was his, but he hadnÆt known the cost of this love would be so high for
her. It wasnÆt right; he should be the only one to suffer.
    The love was fading from her eyes, but not quickly enough. Angelusà heà
would destroy her before that happened. Now that the demon had killed
Jenny, the deaths would only come quicker, giving her less time to
recover, to overcome the guilt. If only he could help her, show her that
it wasnÆt him, that the body held no relation to the man she had loved.
It had to be soon, the demon was working much quicker than he had
thought he would. He should have done this sooner but he had held on to
the hope she would find a way to get back, to re-curse him. That had
died with Jenny.  She had to kill the demonà soon.

He thought about trying to appear in her dreams but she was already
using him to explain things for herself.
He needed to summon every last ounce of his strength, his will and most
of all his love for her, to get his message through. A message through
the watcher, the person she trusted most, given during the day, by the
window. He knew it would be hard for Giles to see his face but he had no
choice. A voice without form was to easily explained away.
ôGiles...ö He formed a vision of himself, a hologram with no real
substance. He hoped it would be enough.
ôAngel... itÆs daytime... how?ö
He had to come in the day. To make sure they would now it was him and
that he was separate; so Giles could believe it was he and not the demon
who had killed his love.
ôShe has to understand Giles, IÆm not in that body, IÆm already gone. He
has to die, please Giles, he has to die.ö  His words came out in a rush
tripping over each other in his hurry to make him understand before time
ran out. He had to make him understand, so he could help her, so she
could know it was okay.  He wanted her to kill his body, needed her to
kill it. The watcher had to convince her. It had to be enough.


______________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Andrea Newbery" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Enough (2/3) by Andrea
Date: 01 Apr 1998 18:45:25 PST

Title:Enough
Author: Andrea Newbery
e-mail: [e-mail]
Distribution: sure, as long as I know where.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: everything up to KbD
Summary: Definitly a Buffy/Angel story. A resolution to the events of
Innocence though not exactly how I wanted it to go.
Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Buffy et al. are the property of
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB and whoever elseà No copyright
infringement intended. Please donÆt sue me IÆm already up to my neck in
debt!
Feedback: Please...good, bad, whatever!



He felt her first, the love, then the fear.
ôGet away from himö So cold, to feel hate from her.
ôBuffy, itÆsàitÆs our Angel, itÆs daytime, itÆs his soul.ö
She collapsed thenà oh God what had he done? He only wanted to help and
he couldnÆt even touch her, he was just a vision, an apparition.  He had
no body to pull hers off the floor with. She was here now and maybe that
was for the best. Since she had seen him, maybe he could convince her it
had to be done, she had to let him go. Oh God, he would never touch her
again, hold her again, the pain rocketed through his whole being as the
enormity of what they had lost took hold. He missed her so much but
there was no way back, to undo what had been done. He had to make her
see, help her to forgive herself. She had to understand that all blame
was his alone.
ôAngelö her voiceà.
ôIÆm here, IÆm free now Buffy. IÆm sorry, I didnÆt want to leave you, I
never want to leave you but he has to die.  I have to die, please; heÆll
only get worse. He wants to destroy you, kill everyone you know. Now
that heÆs started heÆll kill quicker, be more evil, please, kill himö
ôButàö
ôNo, Buffy, there is no buts, no escape clause for us, remember how much
I love you, how happy we were, that night. One hundred years of torture
were worth it, for me, in that moment. DonÆt blame yourself, itÆs my
fault; it always was. I had no right to be loved and I let you do it
anyway and IÆm sorry.ö
Was he getting through to her, he was weakening, only his love, his
determination that she would not pay anymore for his sins held him
there, visible.
ô Let me carry the burden Buffy, you kill him. ItÆs not me, IÆm gone and
there is no way backà I couldnÆt go back.ö
ôButà Angel, I love you, if we could re-curse you, restore your soul, we
could à.ö
ôNO!  Buffy, youÆve seen the demon, he has to be stopped. There is no
time for anything else, heÆs already killed Jenny, heÆll go after the
rest of them soon, pleaseà.ö
ôAngelàö
She was weakening now, seeing the truth, coming to know as he had that
hope for them was gone now, they would not be together again. His
thoughts screamed at him, how could he have done this to her, what right
did he have to love, but later, he would hate himself later. For now, he
had to finish it, convince her, however he could.
ôBuffy, please I see everything he does, I feel what he feels, he is
pure evil, but IÆm tethered to him until my body is gone. I have to
watch what he does, who he kills, what he says to you. It hurts me as
much as it hurts you, Iàö
ôO.K.ö Thank you God, Thank you.
ôI will love you foreverö He was fading now, his sense of relief so
strong.
ôIÆll never forget you Angel, never forget how much I love you, IÆll
always belong to youö
ôBuffy, you gave me love, acceptance and trust when I deserve nothing,
you gave me hope in an existence of doom and now you are giving me
freedom, I am yours.ö
ôAngel, donÆt go yetàö He was invisible to her now, and he waited to see
if she could do it, if she understoodà if he had killed her last ray of
hope.
He watched her, realizing it was the first time he had seen her in the
sunlight, his soul ached for her, for the completeness she gave him. He
knew and accepted that some crimes can never be forgiven. When his body
died he would be dragged into hell along with the demon that inhabited
his body. It would be enough for the moments of love, to see the love in
her eyes, the faith in him, vampire, killer of his family. He deserved
his fate, wanted it, to free her from the demon's torture and the fate
that awaited her if his body lived. Whatever torture could be devised
for him could never be worse than her suffering.  She had loved him, saw
the good in him, gave herself to him; the wonder of it still awed him.
She would not pay anymore for the love she had given him.
She smiled then and looked to where he had appeared. ôIÆll do itö she
whispered  ôIÆll free you from him because I love you to much to try to
bring you back to pay for his crimes, to feel guilt for him.ö

Even now her only thoughts were of his pain, could he have been given a
greater gift?
ôAnd when itÆs over, my tour of duty as the slayer, when it ends as we
all know it will, in the way we all know it will, youÆd better be there
waiting for me.  I got gypped in this life but IÆm going to get eternity
with you. I still believe we are meant to be togetherö
 Oh Buffy, I wishàbut I have to pay for my crimes.
ôI know youÆre probably thinking that youÆll be going to hell, but why?
You are you and the demon is the demon, youÆre not him and youÆve
suffered more than enough for a choice you made as a young man. I
believe that we will be together again and that will get me throughö
With that she collapsed into the chair.  He watched Giles comfort her
and prayed to a God he had betrayed to keep her safe.  She was quiet
until just before dusk and then she got up grim-faced and turned to
Giles, ôTonight Giles, I have to free him tonight, while IÆm still
strong enough to let him go.ö

Please God, give her the strength to kill him. Let this afternoon be
enough to convince her that I can never go back, we can never go back.
He felt the tugging start then like he was a kite being pulled in. The
demon was waking. He couldnÆt get very far from him when he was awake,
was forced to watch his body kill, torture, another punishment for the
choice he had made as a young man. Sometimes it felt so unfair, he
hadnÆt known what the consequences would be, this torture would never
end for him. For Buffy, though, it could end tonight, she could stop
paying for his crimes along side him.
He waited in the factory hoping she would do it tonight. Angelus was
alone with Spike and Spike was in no condition to help him. The demon
would never expect her to go on the offensive, to seek him out, to come
to his lair. He thought she was still held back by the memory of her
Angel.
ôAngelö She stood in the doorway, a vision in white, sending him off
with style. He watched as she fought him, completely focused on
finishing it, on killing him. The demon had been caught off guard; heÆd
had no intention of killing her anytime soon. She fought well, clean,
quick, no emotion. This was the last thing she could do for her love. He
knew it as the demon felt the first stirring of fear, as his taunts of
her had no effect.
He smiled, so proud of her courage and sacrifice. She pushed the stake
in finally, with little fanfare and watched as the body of the man she
loved turn to dust.  She was free... his punishment was no longer hers.
The string was broken and for the first time in over 200 years his soul
was completely free. With all his strength he reached out and touched
her face, ôI love you."  She cried then, he watched as she released
every hidden hope she had for a reprieve from fate or God or whoever. He
waited as she calmed down and stood up, "IÆll see you again Angel,
remember I love youö. She walked out of the factory, a vision in white,
his angel, the only one he would ever see.
He waited, for the demons to come and carry him off to hell, happy that
his body, his voice wouldnÆt torture her anymore. He followed her to her
home, into her bedroom, still waiting to be taken away.
He watched as she put the cross he gave her on, then the ring.  She
smiled, a sad smile for a lost love, but no longer full of guilt and
pain. She spoke to him then; ôWe had something special Angel, something
worth having. It will go on, someday, somewhere, we will be together
again. I know this with all my soul.  I may love again in this world,
but my soul belongs to yours for all eternityö.
He cried then his whole soul aching for what they had and what it had
cost them, cost her. He cried for the love that burned so steadily in
her eyes, the same love that seared itself onto his very being. He
barely noticed as the room filled with a wonderful light. He slowly
became aware of a presence, another spirit, full of goodness and hope.
He watched as it approached him, taking the form of a man as it did. A
vision of a perfectly good man, with such kindness shining through he
could barely look. This vision was talking to him, without words,
telling him it was okay. Telling him the guilt wasnÆt his, it never had
been, he had made a wrong choice as a young man but he didnÆt have to
pay for eternity. None of the cruel acts committed by the demon were
his. Oh, if only it were true, and this vision was saying it was and
that he had to go with him, it would all be okay now. He had to leave
Buffy.
He turned and saw her watching him, them, in awe. She smiled and sent
him off freely with a love so pure it rolled into his soul like waves
traveling through him, never leaving. He reached out to her and gained
enough form to hold her close, smooth back her hair and kiss her
good-bye.
It was enough.


______________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Andrea Newbery" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Enough, (3/3) by Andrea
Date: 01 Apr 1998 18:47:35 PST

Title:Enough
Author: Andrea Newbery
e-mail: [e-mail]
Distribution: sure, as long as I know where.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: everything up to KbD
Summary: Definitly a Buffy/Angel story. A resolution to the events of
Innocence though not exactly how I wanted it to go.
Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Buffy et al. are the property of
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB and whoever elseà No copyright
infringement intended. Please donÆt sue me IÆm already up to my neck in
debt!
Feedback: Please...good, bad, whatever!



She walked through the graveyard, sure-footed, secure in her abilities.
In the five years since Angel she had become more committed to her
destiny. Seeing it not only as ridding the world of evil but also of
rescuing the souls of the bodies the demons had stolen. Freeing them as
she knew Angel was free. She felt his presence close to her tonight, she
always did when she was in real danger. He still tried to protect her,
still gave his strength to her, so she could live, continue to fulfill
her destiny.
She talked to him often, telling him of her life. There was so much he
had missed, Xander and Cordelia's wedding, Oz and Willow's new Computer
Company. She told him of Giles and his new love, and how happy they
were. She told him of her parents rediscovering one another. There was
so much happiness in her life, so much love. She didnÆt regret, couldnÆt
regret, loving him, even now, when she was alone, his presence still too
large in her life to have room for anyone else. She was happy with her
life, her friends, even her duty, but her soul wouldnÆt be complete
until she was with him again.
    It was her birthday tonight, twenty-two, the same age as Angel was when
he died, was made a vampire. Five years since they joined together as
one, it was all fitting somehow.
It was over for her tonight, this life. She had accomplished a lot in
the five years since she had lost him.
Spike and Drusilla were long dead along with the majority of the
vampires who had called Sunnydale home. She had killed countless other
demons and even had two years of college under her belt. She hadnÆt been
afraid when Giles had read the prophecy that foretold her death on her
twenty-second birthday.  Since seeing Angel go into the light, for lack
of a better description, she had known everything would be okay. If she
died tonight Angel would be waiting for her, if she lived he would still
wait. They had eternity to be together, she didnÆt have to rush.
She prepared though, told everyone what she needed to, finished writing
up her version of the slayer diaries.
She prayed for the strength to do her duty and then she proudly went to
face her death.
It came in the form of a group of the MasterÆs minions who had been
planning this revenge for six years. She fought well, killed them all
but the damage to her body was more than it could recover from. Giles,
Willow and Xander all gathered around and said their final good-byes.
Her Angel came then, a vision of himself surrounded by light and her
soul lifted to stand beside him, öDonÆt be sad, please, IÆm finally
complete again. Rejoice in my life, our accomplishments, and the evil we
erased from this earth. Remember our friendship and how much we love
each other. IÆm with Angel now, enjoy your lives, your loves as much as
I enjoy the love I have."
She turned to him then, reached out her hand and he folded her into him.
Such love from him, it filled every inch of who she was, as her love had
filled him. He smiled at her, a full smile with no guilt, no regrets,
just joy and love.
They all  heard them laughing as their light faded away and disappeared.
It floated lightly on the air surrounding them and they sat together and
listened.
It was enough.




______________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Answer this challenge, everybody!
Date: 01 Apr 1998 20:49:11 -0500

To whom it may concern-
Since Aurelia is busy with her many in-progress Buffyfics, I would like
to present my challenge to anyone who feels up to it. Here goes...

CHALLENGE: How 'bout some Angel/Willow fic? Sure, I know it's weird, but
so was Spike/Willow. If a good writer gets hold of this, the impossible
becomes a really cool story. I call it experimentation.
-Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

Oh! BTW, I've been working on my "ten years into the future" story, in
case anyone was wondering. I'm working on the fourth part right now, but
I want to get well into it before I start sending it to the list. Can you
say 'pressure?' =)

_____________________________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Answer this challenge, everybody!
Date: 01 Apr 1998 22:58:36 -0800

On Wed, 1 Apr 1998 20:49:11 -0500 [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
writes:
>To whom it may concern-
>Since Aurelia is busy with her many in-progress Buffyfics, I would
>like to present my challenge to anyone who feels up to it. Here
>goes...
>
>CHALLENGE: How 'bout some Angel/Willow fic? Sure, I know it's weird,
>but so was Spike/Willow. If a good writer gets hold of this, the
>impossible becomes a really cool story. I call it experimentation.
>-Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return
>to Normalcy,"
>"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a
>Chance," "Tragic
>Sighs" and "Footsteps."
>
>Oh! BTW, I've been working on my "ten years into the future" story, in
>case anyone was wondering. I'm working on the fourth part right now,
>but I want to get well into it before I start sending it to the list.
>Can you say 'pressure?' =)

I'll take the challenge, but whether it will be good fanfic or totally
reek to no end is debatable.  I'm brainstorming as I type.


Taygeta 8~) ([e-mail])
Writer of "The Chronicles of the White Knight"
Writer of "Capeside: the Hellmouth"
Writer of "Beyond the Creek"
"Xander's lips met hers, softly and gently, and all Buffy could think
about was that this was wow and a whole lot more."  - from "Chronicles of
the White Knight #5 In the Hands of Astarte

_____________________________________________________________________
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From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Re: Discussion: Challenge
Date: 02 Apr 1998 06:47:08 -0800

On Wed, 1 Apr 1998 20:49:11 -0500 [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
writes:

>
>CHALLENGE: How 'bout some Angel/Willow fic?

I'll take the challenge, but whether it will be good fanfic or totally
reek to no end is debatable.  I'm brainstorming as I type.


Taygeta 8~) ([e-mail])
Writer of "The Chronicles of the White Knight"
Writer of "Capeside: the Hellmouth"
Writer of "Beyond the Creek"
"Xander's lips met hers, softly and gently, and all Buffy could think
about was that this was wow and a whole lot more."  - from "Chronicles of
the White Knight #5 In the Hands of Astarte

_____________________________________________________________________
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From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: BUFFYFIC
Date: 02 Apr 1998 18:06:37 EST

I Dreamed A Dream (1/1)
by Jaclyn Amy
TITLE: I Dreamed A Dream
AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights or characters to Buffy the Vampire Slayer
or Les Miserables. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is owned by Joss Wheden, 20th
Century Fox, Sandollar Productions, etc. "I Dreamed a Dream" is owned by Alain
Boublil, Claude-Michael Schonberg, etc. No infringement intended.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: None.
SUMMARY: AngelÆs soul has been taken from him, and he is now Angelus. He has
killed Ms. Calendar and caused Buffy a great deal of pain. Buffy is upset and
distressed at his torture.
FEEDBACK: Please!!! This is my first fanfic, so be nice.

Well, here it goesà..

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

     It has been three years, and I still sometimes wakeup and think Angel is
here. I can still feel his arms around me, and when I close my eyes, I can
still see his face. I play his voice in my head over and over until tears fill
my eyes. It shouldÆve gotten easier over time. The pain shouldÆve left. As the
Slayer, I should not still be mourning. But I canÆt help but think of when he
and I were a couple, madly in love. When everything was wonderful. When I
counted the minutes until I saw him. But that is gone.

I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted

    I remember when I thought that nothing could separate us. I was so young and
blind. I never imagined what kind of pain that life could put you through. I
thought my duty was such a terrible fate. I thought love would last forever;
we would be together forever. I dreamed that I would spend every night in his
bed. I dreamed that he would always be there to help me solve a problem or
kiss my tears away. I was so oblivious of lifeÆs cruelties. I took for granted
the fact that I could see him every day. Life was perfect.

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

    But it couldnÆt last. No, life had to take him away. Life took my dreams
away. I couldnÆt live a life of happines. I remember my seventeen birthday
night so vividly. We had run through the rain to his appartment after facing
the Judge. The pain of a cut I had was emence. "Take off you shirt," he had
ordered. I followed his command. "ItÆs already closed up." We kissed the most
passionate kiss. "Buffy, maybe we shouldnÆt-"
    "Just kiss me." He did just thatàand more. It was the best experience of my
life, and by far the most memorable. His sweet kisses, his gentle hands, the
words "I love you." I do not regret making love to him; only the unknown
consequences that had come with it. I had lay in his arms all night, but when
I awoke, he was gone. Little did I know, it would be forever.

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed

    My first instinct when there is a problem still is to run to him. I hope that
one day, he will come back and we will finish our lives together. But that
canÆt and wonÆt ever happen. I know that Angel is gone, and there isnÆt
anything I can do to bring him back. I can still hope, though. I think hope is
the only thing that keeps me alive. Hope and love. Though my life is so
different from the way I desired, I canÆt let it affect my future. Life is
bitch; IÆve learned to accept it. But IÆll never accept that he is gone. I
love him, but IÆm on my own. Life has killed the dream I dream.
I Dreamed A Dream

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed

The End

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: G90210 <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re:  BUFFYFIC: BUFFYFIC
Date: 02 Apr 1998 18:14:43 EST

this was really good, it had me on the verge of tears. i think, you should do
a follow up to that, where you have Angel come back(can never get enough of
thoughs) because you seem very good with telling how she was feeling.

~mInDy

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Thanks
Date: 02 Apr 1998 18:27:23 EST

Thanks, mInDy. I don't think I'm going to do a follow up on that one, but I'm
starting a new one called Star-Crossed Lovers that will definately show
Buffy's feelings. But reader beware, it's going to be pretty sad.

-Jaclyn

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: GothGirl77 <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: I Dreamed A Dream (1/1)
Date: 02 Apr 1998 20:22:13 EST

This was great! I love stories that use song lyrics, and yours was very well
written. From one fanfic newbie to another, keep it up! It's fun and all the
feedback is a total ego boost!

Nastassia

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: GothGirl77 <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: Until The Morning Light--Thanks everyone!
Date: 02 Apr 1998 20:34:23 EST

I just wanted to publically thank everyone for the wonderful feedback you gave
me on a story. You guys really know how to make someone who is very new to
fanfic writing and to the fic loop itself feel welcome. Some people on lists
are, well, to quote Xander, bitcas. All the good story reviews were a total
ego boost.

And so the powers that be on this list don't get mad at me, here's something
about future fanfic. I'm starting one of the longer stories I've ever written,
and the 2nd Buffyfic story I've written. It's called Lily (at least for now),
but I refuse to post it until I'm at least half done. Can't wait until study
hall tomorrow. I'll have 90 minutes to work!

Thanks again all you nice peope!

Nastassia
This list gives me a happy!

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: BUFFYFIC
Date: 02 Apr 1998 18:08:04 -0800

Jacklyn,
    I loved your story, it was so sad even though I'm not a major
Angel/Buffy fan my heart so went out!  And what a perfect song!  It has
to be my second favorite in Les Miserables ( the first one being
Fantine's Death), and ironically enough I was just thinking about that
song a few weeks ago.  Anyway, I just wanted to say that I think your
incorporation of the song with the whole Buffy scenario was really cool
and really worked well.


Taygeta 8~) ([e-mail])
Writer of "The Chronicles of the White Knight"
Writer of "Capeside: the Hellmouth"
Writer of "Beyond the Creek"
"Xander's lips met hers, softly and gently, and all Buffy could think
about was that this was wow and a whole lot more."  - from "Chronicles of
the White Knight #5 In the Hands of Astarte

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles of the White Knight (3/?)
Date: 02 Apr 1998 19:54:12 -0800

Name: Chronicles of the White Knight #3 Understanding Willow
Author: Taygeta
Address: [e-mail]
Feedback: Please send
Using in anything: Ask me first.
Spoiler: Not really, just a few references to the show and past episodes.
 My own little ideas, but not really anything I think we'll happen as
such.  If it does occur, I had nothing to do with it.
Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.  In other words, these
characters do not belong to me, and I am just borrowing them.
Description: The Chronicles is not really a multi-part story, but is a
series of stories, some of which piece together and some of which don't.
#3 involves Xander's thoughts on his relationship with Willow
Warnings: Not really, unless you don't like Xander and don't really want
to read about Xander and Willow.  So basically the rating is: PG.
**********************
Chronicles of the White Knight
#3 Understanding Willow
By: Taygeta

    Buffy took a sip of soda from a can of diet coke as she sat at a
table near the window that overlooked the promenade.  She glanced across
the promenade and spotted what Willow called Oz's cool hair.  The shade
of orange-red could be seen for quite a distance, and Buffy smiled and
thought silently that it was cute how Willow and he were always hold
hands.  She glanced over at Xander, who was sitting at the same table,
and found that he was looking at the very same couple.  Her scrutinizing
eyes peered at Xander's expression, and she silent counted to herself, 5,
4, 3, 2, 1...

    "Doesn't that just make you sick?" responded Xander waving his
hand at the couple in a disgusted gesture.

    "Come on, Xander, they've been together for weeks!" said Buffy
with a sigh, "It's not like your opinion counts in their relationship, so
get over it!"

    "How can I if they keep rubbing their relationship in my face.  I
mean, every time I see them together it's all this touchy-feely stuff!"
insisted Xander and Buffy rolled her eyes and put her soda can down,
making a soft sound as the aluminum hit the table.

    "Right, Xander," said Buffy with an air of sarcasm, "And how do
you justify you and Cordy's touch-feely stuff?  Which I might add, is
about ten time worse than what Oz and Willow do."

    "Hey, I resent that comment, Buffy because Cordy and I - " Xander
paused a moment to contemplate, and feeling that Buffy's eyes were still
on him, he chuckled nervously and glanced at her, "Never mind."

    "Yeah...that's what I thought," said Buffy with a smile, despite
the fact that her acceptance of Cordelia had yet to begin.

    Xander didn't reply to Buffy's comment as he continued to stare
at Oz and Willow.  Xander contemplated that Willow looked happy, but he
didn't believe she was because she was with Oz.  What was Xander's
opinion of Oz?  Oz was just an orange-headed villain out to hurt his best
friend.  Once he reached to the thought of Willow being his best friend,
he paused, unsure if that was what Willow was, nowadays.  They were
friends, Xander knew that for sure, but if they were BEST friends, was a
whole other matter in its entirety.

    Things had been distant between them for quite awhile, Xander
realized.  Even before Cordelia and Oz had even entered the picture as
romantic counterparts, their relationship had been readily changed.  Did
Buffy have anything to do with it, thought Xander for a moment and then
he sighed realizing that she had, but not profoundly.  Whatever had cause
them to separate happened, and everything, well, it just made it worst
than it had been before.

    He wanted very much to understand Willow.  He would give anything
to understand her, and try to make things back to the way it had been
Yet, he knew that that way was gone and to return to it was impossible.
He couldn't believe how much Willow had changed to become a Willow that
he couldn't even understand.  Still, had he ever understood her to begin
with?  It still shocked him to think that Willow had been in love with
him, and he didn't think he'd ever get use to the idea, and now with Oz,
he wouldn't have to.    Oz, thought Xander, what a crazy guy, what
does she see in him?  Truthfully, he didn't really know what he had
against Oz.  The weird part was that if Oz was just one of the gang and
had no romantic connection to Willow at all, he knew he would be friends
with him.  But the point was he wasn't just one of the gang, he was
Willow's...boyfriend.  Sure, Oz being a werewolf didn't make Xander like
him any more, but for some odd reason, it didn't make Xander like him,
any less.  It just gave him more to complain about, more that made some
reasonable sense anyway.  He supposed a lot of his resentment came form
his thoughts that Oz made his friendship with Willow even more strained,
even though deep down, he knew that that wasn't true.  Oz was only a
factor because he was making him a factor, and although Willow was chummy
with Cordelia, now, Xander knew that Willow was making her a factor, too.
 It was as if they were divided sides trying not to be separated, but
their efforts just made them even more so.

      He thought again about Willow's face and finally realized that
she was happy...with Oz.  It didn't matter whether he liked it or not, it
wasn't his choice to make, as Buffy had told him once.  He stepped away
from his heart because Buffy was in love with Angel, but Oz and Willow
were different, he wouldn't have to step away.  All he had to do was be
happy because Willow was, and maybe in doing that, he could finally start
treating Willow for what she had always been, and what he had always
taken for granted, a true friend.  Then, maybe, just maybe, he could
start understanding Willow.
****************
End of #3

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From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Forbidden Love (1/2)
Date: 02 Apr 1998 22:51:14 -0800

I finished it, a Willow/Angel and I am satisfied.  It's a little bit more
further than I've ever written before, and although it doesn't truly come
right out and say it, it is very implying.  Please reply if you decide to
read it.

Title: Forbidden Love Part One
By: Taygeta
Address: [e-mail]
Feedback: Please send
Spoiler: Not really, a little bit from one episode a long time ago, but
barely mentions that.
Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.  In other words, these
characters do not belong to me, and I am just borrowing them.
Description: Willow and Angel, secret lovers, 'nuff said.
Warning: Kisses...yeah, and implying a whole lot more, but no graphic
details (not my style!)
**********************
Forbidden Love (1/2)
By: Taygeta

Part One

    When I first met Angel, I noticed right away that he was
incredibly handsome and I saw why my best friend, Buffy, was attracted to
him.  With his sharp features and seeking dark eyes and tall form, who
wouldn't have wanted to fall under such a spell?  I didn't, but it was
out of my control to stop the inevitable from happening.  It caused me to
keep my screaming thoughts and feelings within me and never let them
speak aloud for fear of hurting my best friend and for fear of hurting my
heart.  It was true, I was going through my Xander phase at that time,
but even then, I knew it was a phase.  Angel, on the other hand, could
never be a phase.  He was the first that I really, truly ever loved and
he was the first in more ways than one.
    It was instant attraction when we first met, like magnetism that
made our souls join and mingle.  We both denied our hearts that pounded
faster than tempest-tossed rains and within all of this denial, a pain
was felt within my soul that was too hurtful to describe.  In time, Angel
had become Buffy's, but every time our eyes met, I could almost hear his
heart beating in time with my mine.  It was almost as if he were sending,
with every beat, a pulse driving message that silently cried out to the
world, "Willow, I love you, too..." but glances fell with every glance
met and we walked away from feelings left unspoken.
    Still, all our running away, didn't make it any easier, it only
made everything so much harder.  These feelings weren't going to go away
by themselves, and he knew it, and so did I.  Be that as it may, Angel
and I spoke not a word to each other.
    There were times when we almost did speak, but there were always
so many other matters occurring around us that we couldn't.  Then, he
came to my bedroom one night, to seek help for Buffy, and although
nothing happened, but what was necessary, everything happened at the same
moment.  I invited him in nervously, almost forgetting that he needed to
be invited before he could come.  He stood close by to me and I could
smell the scent of his cologne and feel his strong, tall form surround
me.  So close by, he had been, so within my reach and I in his, but we
couldn't...at least not then and certainly not there.
    Xander had found out that Angel had come to me in the night and
to my bedroom and I had managed to reply jokingly, "Our is a forbidden
love."  Being Xander, he shook his head and smiled, but I guess he'll
never know the truth of such a comment, and I will never tell him.
    There came a battle, in the midst of the fighting, Xander and
Buffy were separated from us, and Angel and I were left to ourselves.  It
was one of those situations where holding someone's hand was excusable,
and we made that situation our excuse to feel Romeo and Juliet's
palm-to-palm kiss.  However, this affectionate touch only made our hearts
beat faster and only made us walk, not to the library like we planned,
but to some place were we could be alone, where talking could be done,
but the latter at a very later time.
    We arrived at his place, and before we could even open the door,
the feelings locked for so long erupted in kisses of passion and desire.
We finally pulled away and just stared at each other for a few seconds.
I felt awkward in my pajamas, which I knew weren't the most elegant in
the world.  And I found myself comparing myself to Buffy and her looks
and charms and I knew I couldn't compete against her, and then I realized
as I glanced in his eyes, he had chosen to be with Buffy.  He had chosen
to be with me.
    Our lips met again, this time slower and more gently than before.
 His touch against my skin was...electrifying.  Thoughts of forbidden
love and worries about my friends vanished with every kiss and every
caress and before I knew it, I had fallen into his cloak of darkness and
decided silently that going elsewhere was impossible.
**************End of Part 1


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Kirstin" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: beta reader request
Date: 03 Apr 1998 14:06:46 -0500

I am wondering if there are any incredibly kind people out there who would
beta read my first attempt at fanfic.  I have a story that I've written
called Fallen (some Angel/Willow stuff in response to Anya's story Gone . .
. ) that I was wondering if someone would read for me and help me with.  I
would really appreciate it, but totally understand if people are too busy.
Thanks a lot!
Kirstin
[e-mail]

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: beta reader request
Date: 03 Apr 1998 14:29:47 EST

I'll beta read your story.

-Michelle.

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Dark One (6/6)
Date: 03 Apr 1998 14:31:56 EST

Title: The Dark One (6/6)
Author: Michelle
Email Addy: [e-mail]
Rating: PG
Spoiler: All episodes up to Killed By Death
Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!
Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc.
The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine!

The Dark One Part 6

    She stood in the middle of the field with the cold night's breeze blowing
against her body.  A stake sat easily reached strapped to her back. A knife
was in her shoe under her pant leg.  A dark figure slowly approached her from
across the field.
    "Sorry I'm late Buffy. I hope you haven't been waiting long."
    "Let's just get this over with."
    "Whatever you say."  Savarah leaped through the air until she stood a few
feet away from Buffy. Buffy stood still for a moment and then kicked Savarah
in the chin. The hit made her fall to the ground but she quickly recovered to
her feet.
    "Good shot. I was beginning to forget what it feels like to hurt."
    "Don't worry, I won't let you forget."
    "Buffy punched her in the face several times and then kicked her in the side
of the head with a roundhouse kick.
    "Okay, that is enough."  Savarah kicked Buffy in the stomach five times and
then kicked her directly in the face. Buffy stumbled back a few steps as she
nursed her bloody face.
    "That had to hurt."
    "No, not really. Giles can hit harder than you."  Savarah flew into the air
towards Buffy but her kick was dodged.  Savarah hit the ground hard. She
moaned as she tried to get to her feet.
    "Not so tough with out your super powers, huh?" Buffy kicked Savarah in the
stomach preventing her from getting to her feet.  Buffy backed away as Savarah
got to her feet. While Savarah was still in pain, Buffy grabbed the stake from
her back and threw it at Savarah.  She caught the stake in her hands and
smiled.
    "Nice try, slayer. You're just not going to win this one." Savarah approached
Buffy with the stake in her hands.  Savarah raised her hand and Buffy flew
threw the air hitting the ground in great pain.
    "What happened to a fair fight?"  Buffy couldn't get up.
    "Oh, that, well it was a lie." Savarah stood over Buffy, ready to kill her
like she had killed so many of her friends.  Buffy looked up expecting to die
when she remembered the knife in her shoe. Buffy threw her legs up into the
air and knocked Savarah off of her. She grabbed the knife from beneath her
pant leg and threw it into Savarah's back. She cried out in pain before
pulling it out.
    "Stupid girl. You know better than that."  Savarah jumped over to Buffy and
kneeled down over her. Savarah taunted Buffy with the knife at her neck. "This
is going to hurt. A lot."  Buffy closed her eyes as she felt the cold knife
moving across her neck. The knife dropped and Buffy opened her eyes to a
familiar face. A sense of de sha vu struck her for a brief moment before she
returned to reality.
    "Angel?"  Buffy sat up feeling her neck for any wounds. Angel didn't answer.
He turned and walked away into the darkness of the night.

End of the Dark One Series.
Please send feedback. If I get any good response I may do a series to follow
this one up.

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Kirstin" <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: beta reader request
Date: 03 Apr 1998 14:50:28 -0500

thank you so much! :)  okay, here it is.


title: Fallen
author: Kirstin
e-mail: [e-mail]

    There is no statute of limitations on forever, she told herself.  You told
him you love him.  You have to honor that.  But it was getting harder.  So
much had changed, in the month since he had left, in the weeks since she
had.  Things were completely different; she was completely different.  And
maybe somewhere inside she would always love him, but a different kind of
love than she used to think.  She had grown up with him, no matter how far
apart they were, they would always be best friends.  But she was beginning
to see that distance really did matter, and that it wouldn't mean that she
loved him less, if she let herself love someone else more.

    Buffy.  How could she do this to Buffy?  That was a completely different
issue.  She knew that Xander had never loved her the way she loved him.
She wasn't betraying him.  But she was betraying Buffy.  In such a short
time, the girls had grown so close.  Buffy had opened her eyes, shown her
things that she never knew existed.  Willow had grown up a lot through
their friendship, but she had grown even more when it ended.  There was no
way she could justify this.  It was nothing but betrayal.  Even though
Angel and Buffy had never let themselves get too close, Willow knew that
Buffy was in love.  How could she do that to her best friend, even if Buffy
and Angel would never see each other again?  How could she ignore what she
knew was right?

    But maybe Buffy and Angel weren't meant to be, Willow thought.  After all,
isn't he everything she is fighting against?  It never would have worked
out in the long run.  They couldn't have had a future.  A vampire and the
slayer, that's practically the definition of star-crossed.  Willow, on the
other hand, knew exactly what Angel went through.  She knew the bloodlust,
and the guilt after.  She knew what it was to be everything that she hated
in the world, and together maybe they could make things work out.  Maybe
they did have a chance . . .

    Angel doesn't even want me, Willow decided.  There is no way we have a
chance.  Just because I decided to be an awful person and turn against all
of my friends doesn't mean that he has.  He loves Buffy.  I am just a
friend.  He wouldn't even have come with me, but he probably wanted to
watch me in case I went full out vamp.  Giles just made him come along to
stake me if I started any problems.  That's all it is.

    But when he looks at me now, it's different.  Softer.  It's like he has
noticed that I'm changing too.  I'm not the girl I used to be.  I feel
older, a lot less naive.  And when I see myself, what little of myself I
can still see in the mirror, I look different too.  There's something there
that wasn't there before.  And I like it.  I think I'm finally starting to
see myself as beautiful.  And someday maybe I'll find someone to love me
like I love him . . . maybe someday Angel might fall in love with me, like
I'm falling in love with him.

*****

    This hadn't just started.  It wasn't like he woke up last week and
thought, hmm, maybe Willow.  And it wasn't just because Buffy was gone, or
because Willow was a vampire.  There was more to it.  In a way, it had
always been there.  He and Willow had always gotten along.  She was the one
to stick up for him.  And she had always been beautiful.  That was
definite.  But there was something new.  Something in the way that she
carried herself, something behind her eyes.  She looked older, wiser, and a
little more sure of herself.  In the middle of all of her problems, she had
really grown up and found herself.  Willow could always make the best of a
bad situation.  She was smart, and fun, and he loved being around her.  He
had always known that, too.  What he hadn't always known though, what he
was beginning to discover, was that he was falling in love with her, with
Willow.

    If he really thought about it, he had probably started to notice sometime
just before Buffy and Xander had gone on their respective vacations.  He,
Willow, Giles, Jenny, and Cordelia had thrown a makeshift goodbye party for
the departing Slayer and Slayerette.  He remembered one point in the
evening when he was alone with Willow, setting up for the party.  They were
getting out the cake, setting up plates and glasses, the usual pre-party
fare.  At some point in their stream of idle conversation, Willow said
something that made him take notice.

    "I can't believe they're going to be gone for so long!  Xander is leaving
tomorrow, and Buffy just a few days after.  I guess I'll get good at doing
research, since I'll be all alone for a month, I can catch up on my
prophecies or something.  Bye-bye hanging out and having fun," Willow said
sadly.

    "Don't worry Willow; I promise a lot of hanging out and having fun this
summer.  As long as 241 year old dead guys are your style," Angel answered
with a laugh.

    "I guess that could be included in my definition of fun," she said,
brightening up.  "Maybe we could go Bronzing sometimes?" she asked
hopefully.

    "Sure," he answered, "I'd love to dance with you."

    I wonder if she saw then what I saw, Angel thought.  I wonder if the same
forbidden thoughts were running through her mind then, and later.  We spent
so much time together.  By day, she was Giles' research girl, but at night,
she was mine.  Did she feel it too?  When we did the rounds at night, did
the same feelings tug at her soul as tugged at mine?  I just wanted to be
with her, all the time.  She had to know.  God, I was so obvious sometimes!
 I acted like a sixteen-year-old, not a 241-year vampire.  It's a good
thing that vampires don't sweat.  She would have noticed my damp palms
dancing at the Bronze.  I love holding her close like that, her tiny body
folded into mine.  It was all I could do not to kiss her then, even before
everything happened and I knew I would never see Buffy again.  Even if this
had never happened, I would have had to end things with Buffy when she got
back.  I wouldn't have approached Willow, I couldn't put that strain on
their friendship, but I also couldn't allow myself to lead Buffy on like
that.  I knew even then that she wasn't the one I loved.
When Willow didn't answer my call the night they got her, I was trapped in
fear.  I ran through the city, looking everywhere I thought she might be.
Finally, I reached the Anointed One's lair.  I remember her, lying on the
ground.  She was passed out, sick.  She was so cold when I picked her up.
What if she had been dead?  Well, in a way, she was dead.  The fear raced
through me.  Thank god Giles was home when I got there.  He found a pulse,
a quiet low pulse.  So we waited.  I think he might have known how I feel
about her.  He could see it.

    I know that there is nothing for her in Europe.  There are no Rom to cure
her.  She is what she is forever.  I think Giles knows that too, but
neither of us could tell Willow.  This is her last hope.  Maybe there is
something there though, something that will reassure her, even if it won't
cure her.  She has a lot of fighting to do.  Together though, I know we can
get through it.  I can help her control her urges, and she can help me with
mine.  We're good for each other.  Sunnydale was bad for both of us.
That's why I filled her head with hopes of an anchor for her soul.  In
Sunnydale, she would have driven a stake into her heart eventually, or
forced Buffy to do it for her.  She couldn't have handled being what she
was, a Slayerette who should have been one of the slain.  Giles and I knew
that to keep her alive, we had to keep her away from home.  And so we're
going to Europe.  We're going together.  I hope that someday, we can truly
be together.  Maybe someday Willow might fall in love with me, like I've
fallen in love with her.



-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Janine Sebastian <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: beta reader request
Date: 03 Apr 1998 11:23:36 -0800 (PST)

Kristin,
Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! (sorry Robyn the Snowshoe-Hare hypnotized
me and reverted me to the subconscious of a grade two'er)
Seriously though, I'd love to betaread your stuff.  I usually end up
correcting spelling etc. when I read these stories anyways (my
computer has an annoying habit of underlining in red everything that
is misspelled.  It gets to the point where the only way to get rid of
the red is to correct the sp.

Jeanie the Tortoise-Fly

---Kirstin <[e-mail]> wrote:
>
> I am wondering if there are any incredibly kind people out there who
would
> beta read my first attempt at fanfic.  I have a story that I've
written
> called Fallen (some Angel/Willow stuff in response to Anya's story
Gone . .
> . ) that I was wondering if someone would read for me and help me
with.  I
> would really appreciate it, but totally understand if people are too
busy.
> Thanks a lot!
> Kirstin
> [e-mail]
_________________________________________________________
DO YOU YAHOO!?
Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Kirstin" <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re:Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: beta reader request
Date: 03 Apr 1998 15:33:52 -0500

as regards to the buffyfic i just inadvertently sent out, let me get the
specifics down here, the standard disclaimers and what-have-yous.
title: Fallen (1/1)
rating: strictly G or PG here.  nothing anybody can't read.
disclaimer: these characters are joss's, the wb's, mutant enemy's, anyone
else who has a valid claim that i don't know about's property.  they aren't
mine.  neither is the stuff from Gone . . ., Anya's story, which this is a
sequel to.  the ideas here, however, are mine.  please don't steal them
distribution: ask and ye shall receive.
feedback: pretty please with a cherry on top.
apologies: this hasn't been beta read yet (due to an error it as sent out
early.) i will send it out later with appropriate revisions.  if you so
choose, you can not read the version i sent now, since the later version
will theoretically be better.


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: The Dark One (6/6)
Date: 03 Apr 1998 15:54:44 EST

That was great! You should definately follow up.

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: CalliScrlt <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Equinox (1/7)
Date: 03 Apr 1998 18:40:34 EST

TITLE:  Equinox
AUTHOR:  Calligraphy (It's a pen name, I like it, so there!  :P )
E-MAIL:  [e-mail]  or [e-mail]
RATING:  This part is probably PG-14... maybe R.
SPOILERS:  Up until Passion, but not if you nitpick about Angelus being=
=0Ainvited in. ;)
SUMMARY:  Oz/Willow romance and/or Oz the Freaky Werewolf Story, Angelus=
=0Amaking a guest appearance, as well as Buffy.
DIST:  Anyone who wants it can have it, just E-mail me and tell me you're=
=0Ataking it!
DISCLAIMER:  All the characters below don't belong to me.  I'm just borro=
wing=0Athem for the time being.  Except for Todd, and I don't like him, s=
o anyone who=0Awants him can have him and sacrifice him to vampires.  All=
 the characters=0Abelong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Inc, all them other=
 companies.  Please=0Adon't sue.  I love BTVS devotedly.

Equinox
by Calligraphy
*********************************************


Willow Rosenburg  stared at the page of calculus homework, the theorems=
=0Adancing through her mind in a calming, peaceful way.  Few people liked=
 school=0Awork, but she found it extremely relaxing.  And after the week =
she=92d had, she=0Aneeded it desperately.  Angelus had tried to kill Buff=
y, Giles was still=0Areally freaked out about Ms. Calendar=92s death.  Ev=
eryone was under a lot of=0Astrain.  "RRIINNG!"  Willow picked up the pho=
ne, hearing Buffy=92s insistent=0Avoice over the line.

"So, we Bronzin=92 it tonight?  Xander=92s bringing Cordelia, You can bri=
ng Oz,=0Aand I=92ll just sit in the corner and mope because I=92m current=
ly a social=0Aleper."
"Buffy, don=92t be so hard on yourself.  You=92ll meet another guy."
"The only time I=92ve met anyone in the past month is in a graveyard, and=
 the=0Aconversation=92s usually pretty short, if you know what I mean.  S=
o, what time=0Acan we expect you?"
"I=92m not coming.  I=92ve got Calculus homework to do."
"You=92d miss a chance to be with Oz?  That=92s a switch."
Willow blushed crimson.  "He can=92t go either."
"Why?  His band can=92t have a gig.  There=92s no place to play other tha=
n the=0ABronze."
"No, it=92s not that.  It=92s=97"
"What?"
"H-his time of the month."  Willow chewed her bottom lip as Buffy laughed=
.=0A"It=92s actually not, there isn=92t another full moon for two weeks, =
but tonight=92s=0Asupposed to be the equinox, and since Giles couldn=92t =
find anything in his=0Abooks about it, Oz thought it would be better to b=
e on the safe side, and, you=0Aknow, stay in."
Willow could imagine Buffy sitting on her bed on the other end, chuckling=
 to=0Aherself and thinking how pathetic she was to be dating someone like=
 Oz.=0AWillow didn=92t want to admit it, but she envied Buffy.  After all=
, Buffy was=0Athe experienced one, whereas Oz seemed to lose interest pas=
t a few kisses.=0AMaybe losing interest wasn=92t the right phrase.  It wa=
s more like he was=0Aholding back.
She snapped back to attention.  Buffy was talking again.  "=85Sure you do=
n=92t=0Awant to go?  We can drink cappuccino and be lonely together."  Wi=
llow was=0Aabout to decline, when Buffy went on.  "Please?  I need someon=
e to be around=0Afor awhile."
Willow sighed, ever so softly, and answered.  "All right, Buffy.  I=92ll =
meet=0Ayou there at seven?"
"It=92s a date!  Now I=92ve got to go find an outfit!  Bye!"  She hung up=
.
Willow=92s slipped the cradle into the receiver, and leaned back against =
her=0Abed.   It=92s hard to be best friends with Ms. Emotional Rollercoas=
ter,=0Aotherwise known as the Vampire Slayer.

*********(Oz=92s House)*********

Oz bolted the door, slipping the key underneath it.  When he was coherent=
=0Aagain, he could pull it back through.  In wolf form, his claws were to=
o big to=0Areach it.  His father wondered if it was a necessary precautio=
n.  He=92d heard=0Aof the family ailment, and while he didn=92t have it h=
imself, he also knew that=0AOz had never before managed to get the shackl=
es off and make it all the way to=0Athe door.
Still, Oz liked to be safe.  After he heard he almost killed Willow, he s=
pent=0Aall morning in a fog, trying to decide whether to cut school and m=
ove to=0ACanada.  He=92d heard it was nice.  Lots of trees.  Open space. =
 Fastening the=0Ashackles first around his feet, then his wrists, he thou=
ght about what if he=0Aand Willow got married and moved there.  Subconsci=
ously, he tried not to think=0Aabout changing.  It was easier when you we=
ren=92t tense.   Maybe they would have=0Akids.  Two, or three.  Not that =
one wouldn=92t be great, but he=92d been an only=0Achild, and he=92d alwa=
ys been envious of his cousins, who came from a family of=0Atwelve kids. =
 Yes, twelve.  They lived in the mountains.  These weren=92t the=0Acousin=
s that included Jordie, his family was in Northern LA  He tried to reach=
=0Athem all week, to see what they knew about the equinox, but they seeme=
d to be=0Aout at a family reunion.  Oz puzzled over this, wondering why a=
 family reunion=0Ahadn=92t included his family, and then he=92d dismissed=
 it as being the family on=0Ahis aunt=92s side.  Reclining back against t=
he wall of the bare bonus room, he=0Ashivered, and drifted off to sleep. =
 If he changed, hopefully, he wouldn=92t=0Aremember it.

*********(The Bronze)*********

Willow stirred her cappuccino idly with a cinnamon stick.  Briefly, she=
=0Aglanced out to the dance floor, Xander and Cordelia writhing around in=
 a dance=0Athat was just a step above the Lambada.   Buffy, at Willow=92s=
 own urging, was=0Anow out dancing with some guy named Todd.  The music w=
as giving her a=0Aheadache, and she sipped the cappuccino with care.  She=
 shouldn=92t have=0Abothered to come.

*********(Oz=92s House)*********

Oz jerked awake, trying to catch his breath.  He=92d had the weirdest dre=
am.=0AProbably because he=92d spent the night as a werewolf trying to str=
uggle out of=0Aclothes and shackles.  But wait.  Something was wrong.  It=
 hit him, as he=0Aunlocked the shackles.  There was no sign of any troubl=
e.  No weird-looking=0Asaliva (ick, but hey, you=92ve gotta take the bad =
with the good),  no tears in=0Ahis shirt, and he was in about the same po=
sition as he was before he fell=0Aasleep.  Checking his watch, he chuckle=
d to himself.  It was only nine thirty=0Aat night.  He hadn=92t changed a=
 bit.
That settled the Equinox question, he thought.  He wondered where Willow =
was,=0Aand then remembered she said something about turning in early.  Sl=
iding the=0Akey back from under the door, Oz let himself out into the off=
ice/library,=0Amostly his because his father was a busy executive, and hi=
s mother was on a=0Alecture tour on women=92s rights and empowerment.  It=
 always sounded to Oz like=0Ashe was just a less commercialized self-help=
 guru.  Either way, they both were=0Anever around, and they bought him in=
credible presents to make up for it.  Such=0Aas his guitar and amp.  Saun=
tering into the bathroom, he looked into the=0Amirror, checking his hair.=
  The outfit didn=92t matter, but the hair always had=0Ato be good before=
 he did anything.  Slipping in an earring, he decided he=92d=0Ahead to th=
e Bronze and see if Devon was there.  Though he didn=92t think much of=0A=
his best friend, he enjoyed the clear fact that they had nothing in commo=
n=0Aexcept for the band, and that, the more you thought about it, they we=
re=0Aperfect foils for each other.
Rifling through a pile of semi-clean clothes, Oz found his car keys, befo=
re=0Aremembering that his van was in the shop.  Tossing them aside, he de=
cided to=0Ajust walk.  Which was probably a good idea, he thought=85 He h=
ad an odd,=0Arestless feeling he needed to work off.

*********(The Bronze)*********

Willow lifted her head off of the table.  Her cappuccino was cold, and th=
e=0ABronze was silent and very dark.  Looking around, she ventured a word=
.=0A"=85Buffy=85?"  The walls echoed the name back to her, and suddenly, =
the double=0Adoors across the Bronze opened.
Angelus stood in the doorway, a stale wind flapping the tails of his tren=
ch=0Acoat.  His eyes were cold steel, and he spotted Willow immediately. =
 Baring=0Ahis fangs, he stalked her, making his way to the booth with lig=
htning speed.
She tried to move, but her feet seemed glued to the table.  In an instant=
, he=0Awas on top of her, jerking her head to the side, her v-necked shir=
t giving him=0Aeasy access to her throat.  Willow felt his fangs slide ac=
ross her flesh,=0Asearching for a vein, she surmised.   But the bite she =
expected didn=92t come.=0AHis fangs danced over her neck, his lips kissin=
g her gently.   "Willow=85"  He=0Awhispered, his lips meeting hers.
"Willow?"
Willow looked up, seeing only Angelus for a moment, then her gaze shifted=
.
"WILLOW?!!!"  Buffy stood above her, growling, crossbow trained on Willow=
=92s=0Athroat.  Standing next to her was a huge frog.
Willow saw her reach for the trigger, and shouted.  "Buffy!"

TO BE CONTINUED....!!!

********************
Want to hear more?!  I want feedback!
[e-mail]=0A


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (1/?) by Ingrid
Date: 03 Apr 1998 18:39:45 -0500

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Buffy, Giles,
Spike, Drusilla, Willow, Angel & co. are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: Oh God! You know what? I just canÆt keep
my word! I was planning on writing the whole thing before
sending it to the list, but at that rate, youÆd never get it, so
here goesà

Welcome to my new story. This one might
be a tad difficult to understand at first, since it takes place
ten years into the future, and IÆm not telling you whatÆs
happened in advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time
goes on in the story. I love to get feedback, except when
my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail].


*********
"Reunion" by Ingrid
Part One: "Portents"
*********

The moon was large and seemed to expand with every step
she took toward she knew not where. Blood dripped from
each star in the sky. The grass was damp and fresh against
her bare feet, perfect for relaxation, but something was
driving her towards the river. A still lake reflected the light
somberly, completely black otherwise. She bent down and
watched the light grow stronger. Now the water was
rippling outward in circles. Startled, she bent down and
reached out for the fish. Instead, a hideous face rose from
the water, its large glassy blue eyes staring vacantly upward.
The body was bloated with the water, and the face distorted,
but suddenly things became as clear as the lake itself. Willow.

The red hair floated around her, framing her face, and quickly
turned to a silvery gray.

In an instant, the face began to cry tears of blood, screaming
her name.

It didnÆt matter that she was decomposing- this was Willow.
Buffy reached out for the head a moment to late. It writhed
in agony as if being pulled back under by force, and again, the
dark lake became calm. Buffy stood up, and continued around
the lake to see countless heads floating in the water,
disappearing like holograms if she got too close.

The lake turned black with blood, the thick liquid lapping at
the earth surrounding it. Something was emerging from behind
the trees at the far side of the lake. A single hooded figure
paddled a rowboat through the mess and seemed to be searching
among the faces for one in particular. Buffy ran to the edge of
the lake frantically. The oarsman removed the cloth slowly,
revealing a bleached hair and a pale complexion.

"Dru!" He screamed, violently shoving the heads away when he
couldnÆt find the face of his love. Thunder raged, and lightning
ripped the sky in two. Thousands of mouths began to groan.

Then he looked up, catching sight of her. "You killed her, but
now itÆs time, slayer," he shouted over the horrible wail. Tears
streamed down the bloodless cheeks and his face contorted.

"ITÆS TIME," he roared again, and she saw him drop a silver
pocket watch into the blood-water.

Once again, lightning illuminated the sky, and then faded to the
dark of the sheets on her bed.

Back to reality. Their place. Her life. Angel sleeping peacefully
next to her. She made no sound but couldnÆt seem to stop
shaking. So much of what sheÆd seen was part of a life that
existed for her now only in memories. Bad Memories.

Seeing WillowÆs face, fresh in her mind- and the way sheÆd
looked! It was terrifying to recall. She coughed suddenly. That
was what woke him up.

"Buffy," he murmured half in sleep, pulling her closer. He
sobered quickly when he felt the tremors of her body.

"Buffy, whatÆs wrong?" Angel probed her eyes for the cause
of such distress, though it wasnÆt too hard to figure out at this
point. Things had been so peaceful for years now, until recently.
Recently, sheÆd begun to have the dreams again. They were like
those that she used to have right before sheÆd become a slayer.

But that was all over now, wasnÆt it?

TheyÆd assured her, Buffy had told him, that that had been the
end. They hadnÆt mentioned nightmares after discharge.

She sighed and avoided direct eye-contact. "Yeah. Just another
dream. Nothing to worry about." *Why does he have to be such
a damned light sleeper,* she added mentally. *Your husband,*
she reminded herself, *heÆs your husband and heÆs supposed to
be concerned.*

But she didnÆt have any answers for him, and that was the most
disturbing part of all.

She tried to bury her head in the pillow, but her attempts proved
unsuccessful. He tipped her chin up towards him and kissed her
gently on the lips.

"Maybe we should talk to-"

"DonÆt even say it, Angel. IÆd have to kill you."

"But Buffy, he knowsà" His voice trailed off, lost on some
forgotten trail.

"HeÆs not the watcher anymore. IÆm not the slayer. What makes
you think that these dreams have anything to do with slayers?
CouldnÆt I just be having regular nightmares?"

"Do they feel like regular nightmares?"

"Okay, I admit, they are strange."

"What did you see this time?"

She paused, and finally conceded to his pleading eyes. "Willow.
Willow, and Spike. She was dead Angel. Her head was in the water,
and she was floating. It was horrible."

He tightened his arms around her, and she began to accept his
comfort, settling against him finally.

"Buffy, I know you donÆt want to raise ghosts, or bring back old
demons, and I know IÆm the last person heÆd want sending you to
him, but if he can help-"

"Angel, no." She raised her voice, nearly crying now, "IÆve put
that life behind me now. ItÆs over. I made it. And weÆve all
suffered, but heÆs suffered the most. I want to let him have some
kind of peace. He left because he wanted to be alone, not because
he wanted me to go traipsing cross-country and dump my baggage
on him. I wonÆt do it!"

A high pitched wail pierced the stillness of the night. BuffyÆs eyes
were welling up now, like ghosts manifest. She coughed desperately
and dropped her head into her hands.

Angel touched her on the shoulder briefly and went to answer the
cry. She didnÆt look up.

Suddenly, there was silence again. She dragged herself from her seat
on the bed and crossed the hall. He held the baby in his arms, the blue
light from the window pouring down on them both, making them more
like a fragment of her dream than something real.

She could see the bond between them. Ever since Willow had been
born, she and Angel had been attached at the hip. She represented hope
to him, and the realization of a dream heÆd given up hundreds of years
ago.

The delicate eyes were drooping now as he lowered the child back into
her crib. Buffy crossed the room and stood by, joining him in looking on
at their daughter, who was now sleeping with a peace she could barely
remember ever having.

Angel suddenly looked exhausted, and she came to her senses finally,
pulling him back with her into the bedroom. She slipped into bed next
to him and closed her eyes.

Searching her mind, she tried to play back warmer days in her head,
but nothing was retrievable.

For the rest of the night, all she could see was that face.

***
END, PART ONE.
Tell me what you thought. I cannot live on posts alone!
([e-mail])

Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
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Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Daphne1784 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Test Readers needed for Homecoming Pt 2/?
Date: 03 Apr 1998 19:24:48 EST

Hi. This is Katherine again. I know you haven't heard from me for a while but
I just finished the second part to my story, "Homecoming", and since I am very
insecure about this story since it is my very first fanfic, I'm asking you,
the loyal readers to please proof my story. Thanks!

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: beta reader request
Date: 03 Apr 1998 19:32:58 +0000

OH MY GOD!!! that was the mother of awsome storys! write a sequal!!!




    There is no statute of limitations on forever, she told herself.
You told him you love him.  You have to honor that.  But it was
getting harder.  So much had changed, in the month since he had left,
in the weeks since she had.  Things were completely different; she
was completely different.  And maybe somewhere inside she would
always love him, but a different kind of love than she used to think.
 She had grown up with him, no matter how far apart they were, they
would always be best friends.  But she was beginning to see that
distance really did matter, and that it wouldn't mean that she loved
him less, if she let herself love someone else more.

    Buffy.  How could she do this to Buffy?  That was a completely different
issue.  She knew that Xander had never loved her the way she loved him.
She wasn't betraying him.  But she was betraying Buffy.  In such a short
time, the girls had grown so close.  Buffy had opened her eyes, shown her
things that she never knew existed.  Willow had grown up a lot through
their friendship, but she had grown even more when it ended.  There was no
way she could justify this.  It was nothing but betrayal.  Even though
Angel and Buffy had never let themselves get too close, Willow knew that
Buffy was in love.  How could she do that to her best friend, even if Buffy
and Angel would never see each other again?  How could she ignore what she
knew was right?

    But maybe Buffy and Angel weren't meant to be, Willow thought.  After all,
isn't he everything she is fighting against?  It never would have worked
out in the long run.  They couldn't have had a future.  A vampire and the
slayer, that's practically the definition of star-crossed.  Willow, on the
other hand, knew exactly what Angel went through.  She knew the bloodlust,
and the guilt after.  She knew what it was to be everything that she hated
in the world, and together maybe they could make things work out.  Maybe
they did have a chance . . .

    Angel doesn't even want me, Willow decided.  There is no way we have a
chance.  Just because I decided to be an awful person and turn against all
of my friends doesn't mean that he has.  He loves Buffy.  I am just a
friend.  He wouldn't even have come with me, but he probably wanted to
watch me in case I went full out vamp.  Giles just made him come along to
stake me if I started any problems.  That's all it is.

    But when he looks at me now, it's different.  Softer.  It's like he has
noticed that I'm changing too.  I'm not the girl I used to be.  I feel
older, a lot less naive.  And when I see myself, what little of myself I
can still see in the mirror, I look different too.  There's something there
that wasn't there before.  And I like it.  I think I'm finally starting to
see myself as beautiful.  And someday maybe I'll find someone to love me
like I love him . . . maybe someday Angel might fall in love with me, like
I'm falling in love with him.

*****

    This hadn't just started.  It wasn't like he woke up last week and
thought, hmm, maybe Willow.  And it wasn't just because Buffy was gone, or
because Willow was a vampire.  There was more to it.  In a way, it had
always been there.  He and Willow had always gotten along.  She was the one
to stick up for him.  And she had always been beautiful.  That was
definite.  But there was something new.  Something in the way that she
carried herself, something behind her eyes.  She looked older, wiser, and a
little more sure of herself.  In the middle of all of her problems, she had
really grown up and found herself.  Willow could always make the best of a
bad situation.  She was smart, and fun, and he loved being around her.  He
had always known that, too.  What he hadn't always known though, what he
was beginning to discover, was that he was falling in love with her, with
Willow.

    If he really thought about it, he had probably started to notice sometime
just before Buffy and Xander had gone on their respective vacations.  He,
Willow, Giles, Jenny, and Cordelia had thrown a makeshift goodbye party for
the departing Slayer and Slayerette.  He remembered one point in the
evening when he was alone with Willow, setting up for the party.  They were
getting out the cake, setting up plates and glasses, the usual pre-party
fare.  At some point in their stream of idle conversation, Willow said
something that made him take notice.

    "I can't believe they're going to be gone for so long!  Xander is leaving
tomorrow, and Buffy just a few days after.  I guess I'll get good at doing
research, since I'll be all alone for a month, I can catch up on my
prophecies or something.  Bye-bye hanging out and having fun," Willow said
sadly.

    "Don't worry Willow; I promise a lot of hanging out and having fun this
summer.  As long as 241 year old dead guys are your style," Angel answered
with a laugh.

    "I guess that could be included in my definition of fun," she said,
brightening up.  "Maybe we could go Bronzing sometimes?" she asked
hopefully.

    "Sure," he answered, "I'd love to dance with you."

    I wonder if she saw then what I saw, Angel thought.  I wonder if the same
forbidden thoughts were running through her mind then, and later.  We spent
so much time together.  By day, she was Giles' research girl, but at night,
she was mine.  Did she feel it too?  When we did the rounds at night, did
the same feelings tug at her soul as tugged at mine?  I just wanted to be
with her, all the time.  She had to know.  God, I was so obvious sometimes!
 I acted like a sixteen-year-old, not a 241-year vampire.  It's a good
thing that vampires don't sweat.  She would have noticed my damp palms
dancing at the Bronze.  I love holding her close like that, her tiny body
folded into mine.  It was all I could do not to kiss her then, even before
everything happened and I knew I would never see Buffy again.  Even if this
had never happened, I would have had to end things with Buffy when she got
back.  I wouldn't have approached Willow, I couldn't put that strain on
their friendship, but I also couldn't allow myself to lead Buffy on like
that.  I knew even then that she wasn't the one I loved.
When Willow didn't answer my call the night they got her, I was trapped in
fear.  I ran through the city, looking everywhere I thought she might be.
Finally, I reached the Anointed One's lair.  I remember her, lying on the
ground.  She was passed out, sick.  She was so cold when I picked her up.
What if she had been dead?  Well, in a way, she was dead.  The fear raced
through me.  Thank god Giles was home when I got there.  He found a pulse,
a quiet low pulse.  So we waited.  I think he might have known how I feel
about her.  He could see it.

    I know that there is nothing for her in Europe.  There are no Rom to cure
her.  She is what she is forever.  I think Giles knows that too, but
neither of us could tell Willow.  This is her last hope.  Maybe there is
something there though, something that will reassure her, even if it won't
cure her.  She has a lot of fighting to do.  Together though, I know we can
get through it.  I can help her control her urges, and she can help me with
mine.  We're good for each other.  Sunnydale was bad for both of us.
That's why I filled her head with hopes of an anchor for her soul.  In
Sunnydale, she would have driven a stake into her heart eventually, or
forced Buffy to do it for her.  She couldn't have handled being what she
was, a Slayerette who should have been one of the slain.  Giles and I knew
that to keep her alive, we had to keep her away from home.  And so we're
going to Europe.  We're going together.  I hope that someday, we can truly
be together.  Maybe someday Willow might fall in love with me, like I've
fallen in love with her.



-


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Buffyfic: Chronicles of the White Knight (4/?)
Date: 03 Apr 1998 16:42:57 -0800

Name: The Chronicles of the White Knight #4 Never the One
Author: Taygeta
Address: [e-mail]
Feedback: Please send
Uses in anything: Ask me first.
Spoiler: Not really, might have mentioned a past episode.
Description: Cordelia has a dream about Xander and Buffy
Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.
Warning: Not really, just kissing, and no major violence or foul
language.  So, PG
*********************
Chronicles of the White Knight
#4 Never the One
By: Taygeta

    "Are you sure, Cordelia?" asked Xander with a sigh as he cradled
the phone against his shoulder why pouring himself a glass of milk.

    "Of course, I'm sure, Xander," said Cordelia with a sigh after
some repetitive coughing, "Go to the dance with them.  Just because I'm
sick doesn't mean you can't go."

    "But Cordelia not going to a school dance seems wrong somehow,"
replied Xander placing the carton back into the refrigerator and closing
the door.

    "Yeah, but Xander not going to a dance won't make a difference,
now would it?" retorted Cordelia straightforwardly.

    "Well, if you put it that way - " Xander began, but he stopped,
"Look, Cordy, just try and get better, huh?  I mean, who else am I going
to argue with at school, and let's not forget, kiss and make-up with?"

    "It's not like I'm Buffy and can just slay this cold!" said
Cordelia with a laugh, "Hey, what's up with her and her clothes nowadays
anyway?  Don't you remember that thing she wore a few days ago?  You know
that blue thing?"

    Xander ignored her comments of Buffy, like he always did and with
a sigh he said, "Just get better, Cordy, huh?  And I'll see you as soon
as I can."

    Before Xander could hang up, he heard Cordelia's voice say, "Go
to the dance, Xander!  You don't have to stay home on my account."

    When he did hang up, Cordelia sighed, and felt her head throbbing
from her head cold.  She not only felt awful, but she knew she looked
just as awful.  Dropping her head onto her large white pillows, Cordelia
couldn't help, but wonder was Xander going to the dance or staying home?
She knew that despite all of what she had said to him to make him go the
dance she wanted to think that Xander would do something romantic like
stay with her and help her get better.  Cordelia shook her head and knew
that although Xander could be romantic, he wasn't when it came to her
most of the time, and most of time she even wondered if he knew if she
was alive.

    She yawned and thought that having a nice early nap would help
her get better.  Still, her thoughts were of Xander and Buffy, and she
was so worried about all of that that she fell into a troubling dream.  A
nightmare for her, but she knew that it was a dream beyond dreams for her
boyfriend who was in love with someone else...

    ...As she walked into the building, she realized that the Bronze
was a little more smoke-filled than it had been usually, but considering
that the dance was being held there, it wasn't unusual.  Oz and his band,
"The Dingoes Ate My Baby" played a slow song and Willow, as usual, was
gazing at Oz with a dreamy expression.  She was now an official groupie,
and she didn't mind that she didn't get to dance because her boyfriend
was in the band, more or less because she didn't like to dance.  Meaning,
that she thought that that was a plus in her new relationship.

    Cordelia peered at the table, noticing that Willow wasn't alone,
and that Xander and Buffy were seated beside her, laughing.  She walked
towards them, but when she sat down at their table, she was surprised
that they didn't even notice her.

    "Hey, guys, I came!"  Cordelia said in her normal voice, but
still no one saw her there.

    "Buffy, what do you say to dancing?" asked Xander suddenly,
standing up from his seat, and Cordelia saw Buffy smile.

    "I don't think so, Xander, I - " Buffy began as she shook her
head.

    "Go on, Buffy, dance with him," Willow said, tearing her eyes
away from Oz for a moment to urge Buffy to dance with Xander.

    Buffy sighed and smiled as she stood up, "Sure, Xander, I'd love
to dance with you."

    "Yes, Buffy, very enthusiastic," said Xander with a chuckle as he
and she walked to the dance floor.

    Cordelia frowned and scrutinized Buffy's clothing like she always
did.  That night, she was wearing a sleeveless dress made of a chiffon
material of lavender, like Cordelia had seen earlier that day in a
fashion magazine.  For the first time, Cordelia had no criticism and that
scared her, so she turned to give Xander a look, thinking she had to find
something wrong with Xander's clothes, she always did.  Tonight was no
exception; Xander had on all white and stood out in the crowd.  Then she
realized that it didn't matter that he stood out, he actually looked
good!

    Noticing that no one knew she was alive, she followed them to the
dance floor and was dying to hear their conversation.  She resented that
they always talked to each other, and it seemed, about everything.
Xander went out on vampire patrol with Buffy far too many times than
Cordelia liked.  She stood idly by, close enough to hear them, but far
enough so that she didn't feel weird just standing there.

    "So, Buffy, do I even get close to being your White Knight of
your dreams?"  Cordelia heard Xander say to Buffy.

    Cordelia remembered hearing Willow tell her about Buffy's dream
of the White Knight.  Willow had joked that Xander had thought that it
was himself before she had even begun explaining.

    "Well, my White Knight did dance closer," said Buffy with a light
smile, and Cordelia was shocked to see that they began to dance so close
that there wasn't even air between them.  "Something like this, yes, but
something's missing."

    "That tramp, she wouldn't," said Cordelia under her breath and
towards Xander she said, "That two-timing jerk, why I outta - " Despite
her angry remarks, Cordelia stood her ground and waited for the scene to
unfold.

    "You mean, this?"  Xander said and then their lips met, slightly
hesitant, and then they pulled away and just looked at each other.  Their
pounding hearts seemed to echo in Cordelia's head and just when she
thought their pulses had slowed, they kissed, again, and this time even
longer than before.

    Cordelia's jaw dropped, she had anticipated it, but she hadn't
prepared for it.  She was feeling very angry for two reasons.  The first,
Buffy and Xander, her boyfriend, had kissed each other, not once, but
twice.  Secondly, Xander had never kissed her like that, ever, and coming
to the second reason, she sighed.  A wave of depression hit her, as she
realized he probably would never kiss her like that, a kiss with such
passion that it meant love...

    ...She sat up right as she heard a knock on her door, and she
walked to the door wondering who there.  The crazy dream was still clear
in her mind when she opened the door.  She brushed her hair away from her
eyes as she saw who stood in front of her, Xander Harris.

    "Xander, what are you doing here?  Aren't you going to the
dance?" asked Cordelia with a surprised tone.

    "No, I'm not going to the dance.  What kind of an insincere
boyfriend do you think I am, Cordy?" asked Xander with a laugh as he
walked into her room, all the while holding a bag of rental tapes and a
large bag of popcorn.

    "The sweet kind," said Cordelia smiling as she began to look
through the various videos that he had rented and decided which one she
should complain about.

    As they watched the movie, Cordelia still didn't feel at ease
with the dream she had, although it was just a dream.  She couldn't get
rid of the mental picture of Xander and Buffy...kissing.  Cordelia feared
that it would cease to be just a dream, and would soon spill into
reality.  Sure, Xander was being nice and was lately being romantic and
showing major concern over her, but what value did she have in Xander's
heart?  Was she number two or number three?  The possibilities were
endless, but eliminating a number out of the possibilities was easy.
Cordelia knew that she could never occupy that reserved number in
Xander's heart, a soft spot where Buffy would always remain, the number
one.

_____________________________________________________________________
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Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Tracy Cain" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Third Child: Prologue
Date: 03 Apr 1998 19:02:55 PST

Name: The Third Child
Author: Rihanon
Address: [e-mail]
Feedback: This is my first story, please share! Good? Bad? Ugly? I crave
this information!!!!!!!!
Summary: Semi-typical story, this is just the prologue, so read it
yourself!
Spoilers: uh- What's My Line? Definitely before S/I, though.
Disclaimer: In no way am I creative enough to come up with the
characters used in this story.  If you recognize anything, it's not
mine, and belongs to the evil Joss.
Warnings: If you're anti-Buffy/Angel, delete now.  A little bit of
profanity, and later parts may contain more.  Semi-sadistic. *grin*
Rating: PG, for this part anyway.

*************
The Third Child: Prologue
by Rihanon
*************

       Buffy felt a chill wind blow through her hair as she walked
through
the Sunnydale night.  It had been unseasonably cold recently, but Giles
had decided that it was a natural occurrence, unrelated to demons,
vampires, or other weird evils.  Just the same, she clutched her jacket
more tightly around herself as she headed towards Angel's apartment.
She sighed. Four days since she had half-carried, half-dragged him there
following Drucilla's less than successful æcoming-out party.'  He had
recovered at an amazing rate, one of the few perks involved in being a
vampire.
       Angel.  He meant more to her than he should have, but she was
through trying to deny the spark between them.  The cold fear that had
swept through her when she had thought him dead at Kendra's hand, and
the horror of not knowing what Spike or, as it turned out, Drucilla,
might be doing to him were still fresh in her memory.  It seemed that
she would continue to care for- no, dammit, admit it- to *love* him
wether she saw him or not.  And, given her probable lifespan, his
presence in her life was probably the most happiness she would ever
know.
         At least those two vampires were dead, they had creeped her out
more than she would ever admit, especially to Angel.  Their sire.  This
time her shudder had nothing to do with the temperature.  Of course it
hadn't been his fault, she wasn't fool enough to blame him for what the
demon had done in his name, but seeing them, vampires he had made,
brought it home with unusual force that he had once been one of them.
Besides, it was still spooky to think of him as, to all intents and
purposes, their father. Oh well. At least they were dead.

**********************************************************

       Spike snarled as he paced back and forth through the dingy
warehouse.  He could hear Drucilla humming as she amused herself by
slowly killing a pair of girls she had caught in the park.  A smile lit
across his face as one particularly loud scream rang out, but it faded
just as quickly.
       <*Damn* that Slayer.  And damn that cursed traitor Angelus to.
In the past few days it's taken dozens of lives to restore me to
strength.  Of course, that pansy will take even longer to heal, with his
sniveling refusal to kill for the blood he needs, but that's cold
comfort.>
       Another scream ripped through the air, accompanied by whimpering
pleas and insane giggling.
       <I'll see her body rot.  But Angelus- him I want to *suffer*.>
       He raised his head as a thought occurred to him.  A sadistic grin
slowly spreading across his features, he left to get pen and paper.

**********************************************************
Feeeedback! BegBegBegBegBegBeg...

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (2/?) by Ingrid
Date: 03 Apr 1998 23:30:46 -0500

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Cordelia and Xander
are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy,
Sandollar Productions, and The Warner Brothers
Network, and are used without permission. The
author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: Thanks to some PRESSURE from certain
individuals who shall remain nameless, I'm sending
out another part. Just so you know, you're all going
to be held responsible for my MENTAL BREAKDOWN!
Anyway... =)

Welcome to my new story. This one might
be a tad difficult to understand at first, since it takes place
ten years into the future, and IÆm not telling you whatÆs
happened in advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time
goes on in the story. I love to get feedback, except when
my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other part. If you want
to get this, ask me for it!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Two: "Prophesies"
*********

"Did you find it yet?"

"Give me a second, Cordelia, I just got down here!"

"Hurry!"

"Okay, okay. What the hell?"

"WhatÆs the matter?"

"Please tell me this is one of those large-type books."
A tall, well-built man emerged from the basement door
carrying a dusty book the size of a large anvil. His dark
hair and eyes were striking; his features handsome.
The dark relaxed jeans and tan button-down shirt made
him almost unidentifiable to anyone who might have
known him in high school.

"Here. ItÆs really dusty." He placed the book on the table
without a sound, sat on the chair next to her and put his
head in his hands.

"SheÆs still having the nightmares?"

The brunette leafed through the heavy volume. "Yes. This
is the third time sheÆs told me, but I suspect there have
been other times." She landed on a page with particularly
small print, and grabbed her wire framed glasses in order
to pursue it further.

"Damn. Latin. ItÆs definitely a discussion of the multiple
interpretations of the prophecy, but this is going to take
quite a while to translate." Xander stood up and patted
her on the back.

"Goodnight," he sighed, and turned to leave.

He was nearing the bedroom door when she finally
turned around. "Wait!"

She stood up and walked over to where he stood. "I didnÆt
say I was going to translate it tonight, Xander."

"I just thought-"

"I know IÆve been working late lately. YouÆve been great-
so patient. Thank you." Her gentle smile faded. "YouÆd think
after watching for this long, IÆd be good at it."

"Hey," he interrupted, pushing the long hair back from her
face, "You are."

She smiled again, and looked at him as if she was seeing
him for the first time. Her eyes finally settled to rest on his.
She touched her lips to his gently, and chuckled as he
deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around her in
a bear hug.

Suddenly serious, she ran her fingers along his jaw.

"I love you."

One of the few times sheÆd said it though theyÆd been married
for a couple of years now. He knew it, but somehow the words
touched him more than anything else. Perhaps it came from
being a writer.

Sweeping her up into his arms, he carried her from the room.
She smiled, and rested her head on his chest.
***
END, PART TWO.
My story you like? (YODA-SPEAK) Write to me, peoples!!!
([e-mail])


_____________________________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: You Answered My Challenge!!!
Date: 03 Apr 1998 23:35:16 -0500

Everybody-
I just wanted to compliment everyone who answered my challenge (to write
some Willow/Angel fic). They're all interesting spins on the situation.
Who knows? Maybe if I ever finish "Reunion," I'll do my own take on it!
Once again, my compliments!
-Ingrid

Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Margaret Wang <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: The Dark One (6/6)
Date: 03 Apr 1998 21:09:14 -0800

Please write more.  I really like it and it so please don't leave me hanging!


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Anexsin <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Ties That Bind (10/10)
Date: 04 Apr 1998 01:53:32 EST

Title: The Ties That Bind (10/10)
Author: Melinda Frango
Email Addy: [e-mail]
Rating: PG
Spoiler: All episodes before Passion.
Distribution: Ask first
Feedback: Greatly appreciated.
Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc.
Only the story is mine, and whatever characters never seen or mentioned
on the show.
Summary: Buffy and the gang get help from an unexpected source in
restoring Angel's soul.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 "Hello," a perky Buffy called out as she entered the library with
Willow and Xander the next morning.

"You are certainly happy this morning," Giles noticed.

"Well I got a good night's sleep, the first in weeks," Buffy announced.

"Good for you," Giles praised.

"So why are we here on a sunday, G-man," Xander asked
slightly annoyed at being woken up so early on a weekend.

"I told you not to call me that," Giles reprimanded. "And
Caitlin asked us to meet her in the library at noon," he
informed them.

"Is something wrong?" Willow asked.

"She didn't say, but..."

Giles was cut off by the library doors opening and Caitlin
walking through them.

"Hi guys! Sorry I'm late, Angel was being overprotective,"
Caitlin smiled slightly.

"Why?" Willow seemed confused.

" Because I'm leaving," she announced.

"Leaving, already?" Buffy questioned.

"Yeah, I have places to go, things to do, a cure to find.
You know the usual. I just wanted to say goodbye, and
to thank you for all your help."

"When do you leave?" Giles asked.

"My plane leaves at 1:30, which means I need to be
getting on my way."

"We'll miss you," Willow informed.

"Oh, don't worry, I had to pinky swear my brother that I
would write, and call, and visit, frequently," Caitlin laughed.

"Can we drive you to the airport?" Giles offered.

"No, I'll go myself. I hate tearful goodbyes," Caitlin answered.

After Caitlin hugged everyone, and said her goodbyes, she
turned towards the doors to leave she stopped and turned
towards the group once again. "You'll take care of him for me?"
she asked hopefully.

They all nodded in agreement. "He's so lucky to have found
friends like you," were her last words before exiting the library.

"Well, I have to get going," Buffy said.

"Where?" Giles, Willow, and Xander said in unison.

Buffy smiled and answered, "I'm going to see Angel. If he
won't come see me, I'll go see him."

"Buffy, I don't think that's such a good idea," Giles argued.

"This is just something I have to do. I need to know where
I stand with him,I don't expect you to understand," Buffy
finished, and then left the library as well.

"I hope she's doing the right thing," Willow said softly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy took deep breaths before knocking on Angel's door.

"I can't do this," she whispered to herself. "Yes, I can. Get
a hold of yourself, Buffy," she scolded.

She took one more deep breath and knocked loudly on the
door. After a moment or two she heard feet shuffling towards
the door. It opened to reveal Angel wearing a thin white t-shirt,
black sweatpants, and looking very sleepy. As soon as he
saw who was at the door, his eyes widened in disbelief.

"Buffy," he breathed.

"Hi," she answered shyly. "I hope I'm not bothering you, but
I'm... we really need to talk, I-I wanted to see how you were,
can I come in?" she rambled.

"Sure," he answered and ushered her in and shut the door.

Buffy glanced around the apartment, expecting it to look
different, but it comforted her knowing that it was exactly
the same as the last time she was here.

Angel watched Buffy as she glanced around the room,
before turning towards him once again. He waited for her
to speak.

"So...how are you doing?" she broke the silence.

"I'm getting by, I guess," he answered. "You?"

"I actually slept the whole night without a nightmare," she
smiled at him.

He smiled in return and looked towards the ground. "I know,"
he said sheepishly.

"I had a feeling you did," she replied.

"Look Buffy, I..."

"Stop!" she said sternly. "I don't want to hear apologies
or excuses. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I hurt you, I hurt all of them, how can you say that?" he
asked surprised.

"Because it's true. It wasn't you, why can't you understand that?"

"I wish I could," Angel whispered. "Why are you really here, Buffy?"

"I-I..I wanted to see you," she confessed.

"God, I'm so sor......"

He was cut off by Buffy closing the distance between them
and pressing her lips firmly against his. If he wasn't going to
take the first step, she was going to take it instead. She loved
him far to much to let him get lost in his guilt, aside from the fact
that she wanted to be in his arms again, to revel in the fact
that her Angel came back to her. She just wanted things to
be like they were before.

Angel was taken by surprise when Buffy kissed him, he
hesitated at first then gave into her, he pulled her closer
to him and deepened the kiss. It felt so good having her
in his arms again he couldn't hold back. To know that she
still wanted him even after everything that had happened,
overwhelmed his senses. When he knew she needed air
he slowly pulled away from her.

Buffy kept her eyes closed and took in the feel and scent
of him, then slowly opened her eyes and leaned her forehead
against his. "I love you," she whispered.

"I never stopped loving you," was his answer.

"Hold me," she pleaded.

He wrapped his arms around her instantly and held her
tightly in his embrace, while she layed her head over his
heart, and entwined her arms around his neck.

"Are we okay?" Angel asked quietly.

"You still want there to be an us?" Buffy asked hopefully.

He nodded and looked deep into her eyes seeing all the love
she held for him.

She smiled and the tears she was holding back began to spill
down her cheeks. "God, I missed you so much," she sobbed.

"I missed you," he stated, while wiping away her tears. Then
he went to stroking her hair, content in the fact that she had
forgiven him, and continued to love him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
End part 10....to be continued in epilouge.


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Gubs <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chalenge
Date: 04 Apr 1998 08:59:07 -0500 (EST)

    Write some fic where JOyce gets a clue abvout whats going on with
buffy.  I would do this myself but I am an engineering student and my
writing skills are abominable.  I would send my fics to the list only as
perfect examples of what not to do.  But anyway anyone out there whose
tired of joyce being so dense.  Write something where she actually grows a
brain



-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:Star-Cross'd Lovers(0/?)
Date: 04 Apr 1998 09:22:25 EST

Star-CrossÆd Lovers (0/?)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: Star-Crossed Lovers
AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy
RATING:
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
SPOILERS: None.
SUMMARY: Angel is Angelus and has killed Ms. Calendar. Pretty much, this just
shows how strong AngelÆs and BuffyÆs love is. Oh, and this isnÆt your regular
restoration story. This gets sad, so if you are not into that kind of thing,
donÆt read it.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is owned by Joss Wheden,
Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, 20th Century Fox, etc. No infringement
intended.
FEEDBACK: Please.


Star-CrossÆd Lovers (0/?) Prologue

    "WhatÆs this?" Willow asked herself. It was late at night, almost so late
that it was early morning. Yesterday, when subbing for the new computer
teacher, sheÆd found a yellow disk of Ms. Calendars stuck behind the desk. She
had finally gotten to look at it.
    "The Restoration Ceromony?" she asked aloud. As she read through it she
noticed it kept refering to a vampireÆs soul. //Angel? Was she going to save
Angel?// It all made sense now: why she had stayed late, why the computer was
trashed, why she was dead in the school.
    She quickly called Giles to tell him the big news. The phone rang four times
when Buffy finally picked up. "Hello?" she asked, her voice unsteady.
    "Hey, Buffy, I have some big news for you! Can I talk to Giles for a sec?"
    There was a dead silence and then crying. "Buffy?" XanderÆs voice suddenly
came on the phone.
    "Will, Giles, Giles was murdered by Angel. We just came to the house and
found him. Can you run over here?"
    The phone came loose from WillowÆs hand and fell to the floor. "NO!" she
screamed. "ITÆS NOT TRUE."
    Her parents not being home, she ran as fast as she could to GilesÆs. The trip
seemed to take forever, though it was only a few minutes. Wild and dreary
thoughts flew in and out her mind. All in all, she truly believed that they
were lying to her.
    "Willow!" Cordelia shouted from outside the house. Willow quickly ran inside
to find GilesÆs mutilated corpse on the floor. Next to it was a note for
Buffy, "Three down, five to go. See ya æround, lover."
    "No, no, no!" she cried. Tears flooded her face and her hands. Xander quickly
embraced her. They stayed that way for an eternity, or at least it felt like
that.
    "WhereÆs Buffy?" she finally spoke.
      "SheÆs gathering some of Giles things upstairs," Xander answered.
      Quietly, Buffy stepped down the stairs with her mother in her arms,"HeÆs
going to kill us. HeÆs going to kill us all."

End Prologue

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (3/?) by Ingrid
Date: 04 Apr 1998 10:16:22 -0500

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: This one reveals a little about the past. It doesn't
totally explain things though!

Welcome to my new story. This one might
be a tad difficult to understand at first, since it takes place
ten years into the future, and IÆm not telling you whatÆs
happened in advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time
goes on in the story. I love to get feedback, except when
my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you want
to get this, ask me for it!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Three: "Penance"
*********

Angel turned the faucet marked hot. Scalding water hit his
back and he exhaled sharply. The pale skin of his shoulders
was turning red, but he ignored the stinging sensation and
scrubbed hard at the tattoo on his back.

This was his kind of exorcism.

Images of Jenny flashed before his eyes. He heard the
resounding snap of her neck and the sound of her body
hitting the floor. Suddenly, he felt sick to his stomach.

He scrubbed harder.

WillowÆs pitiful expression as heÆd sunk his fangs into
her neck. How he had had to unlock her arms from his
shoulders so that she could drop to the ground just like
Jenny. Her half-drained body and those despairing eyes.

Memories of pain in his chest, and the endless chanting.

Then feeling dizzy. So dizzy.

Xander, angry, shouting. Commanding him to do
something he never would haveà

Under normal circumstances. He should have known
better, but heÆd been dizzy, and disoriented, and Xander
had been screaming at him, and Willow had been crying,
and so heÆd done it.

Blood had flowed again. SheÆd tasted sweet, and sheÆd
embraced him; embraced what he was offering.

But sheÆd been oblivious. SheÆd been delirious, dammit!
How could he haveà

Acute pain as heÆd sliced his wrist and tipped her head up
for her to drink. SheÆd done everything as easily as if it
sheÆd simply been obeying someone older and wiser.

He was definitely older.

SheÆd been delirious!

He gritted his teeth in pain as he realized heÆd been working
at the same spot for minutes now. The skin was raw to the
touch, but he couldnÆt stop.

It hadnÆt done a thing. And the blood had tasted horrible in
his mouth as something erupted in his stomach. A battle
had raged inside him, and heÆd collapsed. Then the fangs
had disappeared forever. This should have been his dream
come true, but it wasnÆt.

She was still a corpse in the morning.

HeÆd been dragged to the hospital with Buffy.

SheÆd been buried while he was recuperating. Xander
forgave him now, realizing how foolhardy it had been, but glad
that Angel had been willing to follow him there. Little did he
know that had Angel been aware that night, instead of delusional,
he would have done anything the to avoid such a plan.

God, what if it had worked?

He almost jumped out of his skin at the shriek of the door.
Quickly coming to his senses, he shut off the faucet and
grabbed a pale yellow towel from the silver rack.

"Angel?"

"Yeah, IÆm here," he answered, his voice sounding suddenly
strange to him.

The afternoon sun was filtering through the blinds, filling the
place with light. Angel emerged from the bathroom door to find
Buffy sitting on the bed.

She looked up at him gravely.

"WhatÆs the matter?"

"IÆm going to call Giles."
*******
END, PART THREE.
Some feedback each day keeps the badfic away. Write to me at
[e-mail], please!

Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jill Kirby <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Challenges
Date: 04 Apr 1998 10:47:49 -0600 (CST)

Just a short netiquette note regarding fiction challenges...

Challenges <are> a great way to "provoke" fiction.  However, on many fiction
lists it's standard that if you post a challenge, you must also post the
first story of the challenge-- don't just post a challenge for Ethan and
Willow fic, but post the first story dealing with E&W (this is an EXAMPLE,
obviously <G>).

This isn't a list rule, but please keep it in mind as a really good idea.
Thanks.

Jill
Jill Kirby ~~  [e-mail] ~~ www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/4107
         NatPack ~~ ABotCoS ~~ NP4 ~~ Dreamer/Minstrel ~~ CW
                     Oh the sound of the wind through my heart
          Makes me glad for all the ones that never knew my name...
                                                  --Jann Arden Richards


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (1/?)
Date: 04 Apr 1998 14:57:35 EST

Lost & Found 1

Title: Vengeance (1/?)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = violence and graphic descriptions
Summary: (you'll just have to read it)
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know if I suck or not.
I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I just want to know.

This story is a second series following Vengeance.  This story may
not make sense unless you've read Vengeance. If you want, I can e-mail
you the four parts of Vengenace. I don't know how long this one will go on,
it will just go until I run out of ideas!  The characters of this story belong
to
Joss, Sandollar, WB, etc. I'm just borrowing them for my stories.  This
series will answer a lot of the unanswered questions left from Vengeance.
PLEASE SEND FEEDBACK!!!

Lost & Found (1/?)

    "You can walk?"
    "Yeah, isn't it great?"
    The blond vampire stood before her with an overly excited grin on
his face.  Buffy wasn't expecting Spike to be capable of a fight.
    "So, did you ask me here just to show off?" Buffy was looking for
any way out of the present situation. Her friends were in danger and Spike
was getting in the way.
    "No, actually, I called you here to fight." Spike walked slowly towards
Buffy, showing off his re-aquired skills.
    "Well then, what are you waiting for?"
"Absolutely nothing."
    Buffy awoke to the sound of her stomach. She hadn't eaten anything in days
and was starved.  She quietly got out of bed making sure not to disturb
Xander. He was right about one thing, as a vampire, he was much more
attractive to Buffy.
    She walked down the cold metal stairs dressed in a long silk black gown. It
was day and vampires laid scattered around the warehouse floor.   Across the
room she saw a lone vampire curled up on the ground. Buffy sat down next to
him and carressed his arm. Before he could wake, she sunk her teeth into his
neck. She had learned that the blood of a vampire tasted greater than any
blood she had ever had.  Satisfied, Buffy headed back to bed.
    Years had passed since Buffy became a vampire and she was haunted day and
night by all the unconcible things she had done.  Drusilla wanted her to
suffer, and she did. She killed her family, her friends, everyone. The memory
of their deaths was constantly on her mind.  Weeks after Buffy became a
vampire, she tracked down Cordelia and Oz and transformed them.  Cordelia was
killed in battle against Kendra over a year ago.  Cordelia just never had the
heart to be a vampire.
    Buffy awoke suddenly to the memories of death in her mind. She could feel
that sun down was near. She clawed through the closet until she found a
beautiful blue dress to wear. After she finished getting dressed, Buffy woke
Xander with a kiss. The two headed downstairs where Willow and Oz were already
eating.
"We may be better off if you two would stop eating other vampires," Drusilla
said as Angel carried her down the stairs.
The two looked up for a second but then returned to their meals.
"I guess they don't care, Dru."  Buffy took every chance she got to attack
Drusilla.  Even as a vampire, Buffy hated her.  Angel placed Drusilla down on
her own two feet.
    "Did you sleep well last night, Buffy?"
    "I think you know the answer to that," Buffy said as she glared at Drusilla.
    "I'm hungry. Let's go eat." Buffy tugged at Xander's arm and he followed her
out of the warehouse. Willow and Oz had already eaten and headed back to bed.
    "Why do you hate her so much Dru?"
"Angel, have you not been paying attention these past years?"
"She's one of us now. She's paid more than enough for the damage she has
done."
    Drusilla slapped Angel across the face, hard. "How dare you!"
    "Even at your full strengh, you're still insane.  Spike is dead, he deserved
to die. Get over it!"  Angel began to leave the room in a huff.
    "Never." Drusilla stared into open space. "I think it's time to bring out the
secret weapon."
    "What?"
    "You, will just have to wait and see." A faint smile appeared on her face and
grew into a giant grin as she fell to the ground laughing. "Oooh, this is
going to be fun."

*****

    "Oh my God! Your...your...alive!" Buffy stared wide-eyed at the somewhat
familiar face that stood before her. "I killed you, how are you..."
    "Drusilla brought me back. She said you needed to be taught a lesson."
    Buffy looked at Dru and saw the exagerated smile on her face.  "What, killing
my family and friends wasn't enough for you?  Watching everyone I ever loved
die in front of me, because of me, wasn't enough?" Buffy stood a few inches
away from Drusilla. "Huh, you had to go and do this?"
    "It will never be enough."  The thought of killing Drusilla right there
crossed her mind.  Buffy turned to face the one she thought she had put out of
harms way.
    "Dru, you're going to pay for this."  Buffy looked at Giles.  Spike's image
filled her mind.  His vampiric faces that stood their waiting to attack.  She
growled and lunged at Giles but stopped mid-stride and turned around quickly.
Before Drusilla had a chance to respond, Buffy had her pinned against the
ground.
    "I didn't kill Spike."

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (2/?)
Date: 04 Apr 1998 14:59:40 EST

Lost & Found 2

Title: Vengeance (2/?)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = some violence and graphic descriptions, sexual indications.
Summary: (you'll just have to read it)
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know if I suck or not. I won't care
if you tell me this story is horrible, I just want to know.

This story is a second series following Vengeance.  This story may not make
sense unless you've read Vengeance. If you want, I can e-mail you the four
parts of Vengenace. I don't know how long this one will go on, it will just go
until I run out of ideas!  The characters of this story belong to Joss,
Sandollar, WB, etc. I'm just borrowing them for my stories.  This series will
answer a lot of the unanswered questions left from Vengeance. PLEASE SEND
FEEDBACK!!!


Lost & Found (2/?)

    "What?" Drusilla's voice was faint.
    Buffy paused for a few minutes as she played her fight with Spike
over and over in her head.
    "I didn't kill him." Buffy seemed relieved to remember what had
happened.      "You sent Spike to stall me while you and Angel attacked my
friends."  Buffy got off of Dru and began to walk around to warehouse.
"He wanted to kill me himself. He wanted to prove to you that he could
do it and Angel couldn't."
Drusilla sat up and stared blankly at Angel.  "I..." Drusilla started but
couldn't finish.
    "All these years it haunted me, but it always stopped before I killed him.
Now I know why."
    "If you didn't kill him, then where is he?" Angel finally said.  Drusilla
stood up in anticipation of Buffy's answer.
    "I convinced him that no matter who killed me, Dru would still love the both
of you." Buffy stopped her pacing and turned to walk to Drusilla. "He pulled
out a railroad spike, and lunged at me with it. I threw him into a wall and
when he landed, I took the spike from his hands.  Just as I was about to kill
him, he stopped me. 'Don't. Let me go. I'll run away and you'll never see me
again.'"  Drusilla found a chair and fell into it. "I plunged the spike into
his stomach and left."
    "How do you know he's not dead?" Willow's voice trembled slightly. "I fought
him many times, he's too tough to die."
    "Why didn't you tell me before?" There was almost compassion in Drusilla's
voice.
    "Because I'm not stupid. You already had my friends, and I was in no shape to
take you."  The room became suddenly quiet.
    "And she would have killed you anyway," Xander said breaking the silence.
    "Exactly."  Buffy walked up the stairs back to her room. Everyone remained
still in a state of shock as she left.
When the sun went down the next day, Buffy finally left her room to go feed.
When she returned, she found the warehouse abandoned.  A note was left on the
dining table.


Buffy -

Gone to find Spike.

-Angel


To Be continued in Part 3



-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (3/?)
Date: 04 Apr 1998 15:02:05 EST

Lost & Found 3

Title: Vengeance (3/?)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = violence and graphic descriptions
Summary: (you'll just have to read it)
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know if I suck or not. I
won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I just want to know.

This story is a second series following Vengeance.  This story may not
make sense unless you've read Vengeance. If you want, I can e-mail
you the four parts of Vengenace. I don't know how long this one will
go on, it will just go until I run out of ideas!  The characters of this story
belong to Joss, Sandollar, WB, etc. I'm just borrowing them for my
stories.  This series will answer a lot of the unanswered questions left
from Vengeance. PLEASE SEND FEEDBACK!!!


Lost & Found (3/?)

    When Drusilla returned with Willow and Xander from hunting,
they found Buffy seated on the ground holding the note tight in her hands.
    "Buffy, are you alright?" Xander asked as he rushed to her side.
She crumpled up the note in her hands.
    "Fine," she said faintly. Buffy quickly got to her feet and rushed
out of the room.
    Willow watched as she ran up the stairs. "What's up with her?"
    "I don't know," Xander said as he followed after her.
    Thoughts were racing through Buffy's head. She couldn't think
straight. What had she done?
    "I've got to stop this," Buffy whispered to herself.
    A hand touched her shoulder, startling her. "Buffy," he said
searching her eyes for what was troubling her.
    "I have to leave."
    "What? Where?"
    "I can't explain. I just have to go." Buffy grabbed some clothes
from the closet and shoved them in to a small duffel bag. "Keep an
eye on everyone for me. Especially Drusilla," she said as she threw
the bag onto the bed.
    "Buffy, I don't understand." Buffy walked over to the dresser and
opened a jewelry box that sat on top. Memories of her love for Angel
clouded her thoughts. The claddagh ring he gave her, the necklace.
Xander pulled Buffy around to face him, his eyes pleading for an answer.
    "I care about you, and you know it. Our love for eachother is sickening
to vampires." Buffy paused for a moment. "I have to do this and I can't
explain. Just make sure that Drusilla stays here. Don't let her come after
me."
    "Where?!?" Buffy broke away from his grasp and retrieved the bag
from the bed. She returned to the dresser and took the claddagh ring
from it. She admired it for a second before shoving it into a small
compartment in the bag. Then she carefully took the cross and put it
in as well.
    "I have to go," Buffy said looking to Xander one last time.  She
hurried out of the bedroom as Xander watched.
    When Drusilla's back was turned, Buffy quietly left the warehouse.
She hurried to the docking yard and waited. A clear image of the note
remained fresh in her mind. She couldn't get rid of it.  She knew she
had to stop Angel.

End Part 3 - Part 4 coming soon. Please send feedback.

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Sorry
Date: 04 Apr 1998 15:04:41 EST

I just sent out the first three parts of Lost & Found and there are probally a
lot of editing mistakes. My computer was all wigged!! Just ignor the mistakes.
Thanks.

-Michelle
Author of "The Dark One," "Vengeance," and now "Lost & Found."
http://members.aol.com/aglx/main.html

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: GothGirl77 <[e-mail]>
Subject:  BUFFYFIC: Memories Of You (1/2)
Date: 04 Apr 1998 15:06:42 EST

Title: Memories Of You (1/2)
Author: Nastassia
Email Addy: [e-mail]
Rating: PG
Spoiler: Everything, but mainly Suprise/Innocence
Feedback: You know I want it!
Distribution: Just ask me first.
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is not mine. Neither are Angel, Xander,
Giles, or Willow. The song "I'll Remember" belongs to Madonna, not me. I also
used quotes from "Welcome to the Hellmouth" "Lie To Me" "Angel" and "Surprise"
Please don't sue me, I'm already a lot in debt from buying this laptop, and
I'm still in high school!
Summary: Buffy remembers Angel. This is one solution to the problem of Angel's
missing soul, though I hope this will not be how it is solved.
WARNING: If you don't like sad, melancholy stories then you might want to skip
this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, what can I say, I'm back for more! Fanfic stories based on songs are
some of my faves, and I'll probably send out some short ones while I'm working
on "Lily". Hope you guys enjoy this. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Memories Of You(1/2)
by Nastassia


            Say good-bye to not knowing when
            The truth in my whole life began
            Say good-bye to not knowing how to cry
            You taught me that


Buffy stood alone in the graveyard, staring vacently at the place where she
had spent most of her nights in the two years she had known him. It seemed to
be the best place to say goodbye to him. This was where he had died, after
all.

This was where she had killed him.

The gold Claddagh ring laying on the blackened ground still marked the spot.
Buffy wondered absently why no one had stolen it. Part of her wanted to take
it with her, to lock it up in some secret place where no one but her could
touch it, but it seemed wrong to move the ring. Instead, she left it where it
had fallen, a memorial to the only person she would ever love.

Her beautiful Angel.


            And I'll remember the strength that you gave me
            Now that I'm standing on my own
            I'll remember the way that you saved me
            I'll remember


A single tear slipped out of Buffy's eye as she recalled what had happened
that fateful night. Giles had come to her saying he had found what could be a
cure for Angel. A cure that would not only restore his soul, but would also
make him human. She had hugged Giles and thanked him more times than she could
recall. Buffy had been so cerain that she would have him back by the next
morning.

'I was a fool,' she thought.

The so-called "cure" had worked. The demon had been driven out of Angel's
body. One look in his eyes had told her that. Angel's beautiful dark eyes
showed only love, not the hate and malice she had grown used to seeing there.

"Buffy."

"Angel."

They each spoke in a whisper, afraid that maybe this was a wonderful dream,
and if they moved or spoke they would wake up. They gazed at each other for
what could have been seconds or hours before Buffy ran into his arms.

Angel kissed her with a gentle passion, and they held each other, afraid to
let go. For a few moments all was right with the world.


            Inside I was a child
            That could not mend a broken wing
            Outside I looked for a way
            To teach my heart to sing


Angel let out a strangeled gasp and fell to his knees. Giles, Willow, and
Xander, who had been allowing the two lovers privacy for their reunion, rushed
towards them.

They found Buffy cradling Angel in her arms, as he coughed and gasped for air.
"Buffy, Buffy, I love you. I always will-"

"Angel, it'll be okay. Save your strength."

"I'm dying. It won't be okay." Angel cried out in pain and shuddered in
Buffy's arms. He looked at Giles through dimming eyes. "Thank you," he
whispered.

Angel turned back to Buffy. He took her hand and held it, their matching rings
almost glowing in the moonlight. "Thank you," he repeated. His words faded to
nothing as his eyes closed for the final time.

"No," Buffy sobbed, denying his fate, even as his body turned to ash in her
arms. "No. No, you can't do this to me." Buffy had stayed there, crying over
Angel's body until nothing remained of him save the gold ring that fell from
her hand onto the dust covered ground.

They had won. The demon was dead. They had also failed, by not remembering
that the demon was what kept Angel alive for two hundred and forty years. They
had killed him, and his last words had been those of thanks.


            And I'll remember the love that you gave me
            Now that I'm standing on my own
            I'll remember the way that you changed me
            I'll remember

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: GothGirl77 <[e-mail]>
Subject:  BUFFYFIC: Memories Of YOu (2/2)
Date: 04 Apr 1998 15:18:33 EST

Title: Memories of You (2/2) <-----I think I forgot to put this last time
Author: Nastassia
Email Addy: [e-mail]
Rating: PG
Spoiler: Everything, but mainly Suprise/Innocence
Feedback: You know I want it!
Distribution: Just ask me first.
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is not mine. Neither are Angel, Xander,
Giles, or Willow. The song "I'll Remember" belongs to Madonna, not me. I also
used quotes from "Welcome to the Hellmouth" "Lie To Me" "Angel" and "Surprise"
Please don't sue me, I'm already a lot in debt from buying this laptop, and
I'm still in high school!
Summary: Buffy remembers Angel. This is one solution to the problem of Angel's
missing soul, though I hope this will not be how it is solved.
WARNING: If you don't like sad, melancholy stories then you might want to skip
this one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Memories Of You (2/2)
by Nastassia
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So now Buffy stood where Angel had drawn his last breath and died in her arms.
Five years had passed since that night, years filled with grief, tears, and
memories.

Images from the night they had first met echoed through her mind.

"Who are you?"

"Let's just say I'm a friend."

"And what if I don't want a friend?"

"I never said I was yours."

The first time she confessed her true feelings to him was never far from her
thoughts.

"Do you love me?"

"What?"

"Do you?"

"I love you, but I don't know if I trust you."

"Maybe you shouldn't do either."

Or the night the Three had attacked them, and the next night when they had
first kissed.

"I live nearby. I was just out walking."

"So, you weren't following me? I just had this feeling you were."

"Why would I do that?"

"You tell me. You're the mystery guy that appears out of nowhere. I'm not
saying that I'm not happy about it tonight, but...if you are hanging around
I'd like to know why."

"Maybe I like you."

"Maybe...."

Or the night they had shared their love for the first time..........

"I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop."

"Me too, I can't either."


The memories were all that had gotten Buffy through the last few years.
Anytime she got close to breaking down, Buffy thought of Angel-his eyes, his
smile, the feeling of his lips on hers. It was all she had left to remember
him by, memories, his jacket, the cross he'd given her, and the ring.

Buffy had left Sunnydale a month after Angel's death. She had left without a
word to anyone, leaving behind notes for her friends and family. The notes had
been more of a way of telling herself why she was leaving than explanations to
her loved ones. Buffy disappeared into the night, and this was the first time
she'd been back in half a decade.


            I learned to let go of the illusion that we can possess
            I learned to let go, I travel in stillness
            And I'll remember happiness
            I'll remember, I'll remember


"I miss you, Angel," she whispered, kneeling down on the grass, "I don't
really know why I left Sunnydale. I just couldn't stay. This was the place
where the best and worst things in my life hapened. Every place reminded me of
you, Angel. When I walked into the Broze, I expected to see you leaning
against the wall waiting for me. Or in the library, discussing some wiggy
prophecy with Giles. I'd see you outside my window at night. I couldn't even
walk down the street without expecting Mr. Cryptic Guy to come up behind me
and give me some weird message." Buffy bit her lip and lightly ran her fingers
over the ring laying on the grass. "I just had to get away."

"I know......"

Buffy jumped to her feet. "Angel?" she asked, turning around.

"Buffy......"

"Please, please let me see you!"

"I still love you......"

Then there was silence in the night. Buffy was certain it had been Angel,
showing her his love in the only way he was able to now. A few more tears
escaped from Buffy's eyes. "Don't leave me, Angel," she begged.

For the final time the familiar voice whispered, "I will always be with
you......"


            No I've never been afraid to cry
            Now I finally have a reason why
            I'll remember, I'll remember


"Thank you," she said, "For everything. You gave me the strength to live my
life. I'll remember you forever, and I'll never ever stop loving you. You gave
me something I thought I could never have because I was the Slayer. You gave
me someone to trust and someone to love, even when I didn't deserve it. You
made my life worth living, Angel."

Without another word Buffy turned and walked away from the cemetary. She
walked towards the library, because she knew they would be there.


            And I'll remember the love that you gave me
            Now that I'm standing on my own
            I'll remember the way that you changed me
            I'll remember


*The End*
Was it good for you? (Innocence)

Nastassia

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:Star-Cross'd Lovers(1/?)
Date: 04 Apr 1998 18:52:50 EST

Star-CrossÆd Lovers (1/?)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: Star-CrossÆd Lovers
AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy
RATING:
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
SPOILERS: None.
SUMMARY: Angel is Angelus and has killed Ms. Calendar. Pretty much, this just
shows how strong AngelÆs and BuffyÆs love is. Oh, and this isnÆt your regular
restoration story. This gets sad, so if you are not into that kind of thing,
donÆt read it.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is owned by Joss Wheden,
Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, 20th Century Fox, etc. No infringement
intended.
FEEDBACK: Please.
Star-CrossÆd Lovers (1/?)

    For days, Buffy just cried; not wanting to live, unwilling to die. The two
most important people in her life were murdered, and nothing could change
that. Not finding a new love, not devoting her life to avenging their deaths,
not even bringing Angel back. Being suicidal, she had purchased a gun. She had
promised herself that if she let everyone perish, she would murder herself. In
misery, Buffy grieved alone in her room, with the gun. Willow and Xander had
tried to visit, but she wouldnÆt let them in.
    "Buffy, please, open up!" Willow cried. "I have important news."
    Finally, Buffy let her friend inside. "What?"
    "ItÆs Cordelia."
    "What about her?"
    Tears started to shed from WillowÆs already tear-stained face. "Buffy, she
was turned to a vampire last night."
    "What!?"
    "ThatÆs," she sniffled,"thatÆs not the worst part. After she changed, she,
she, sheà"
    "Willow, what is it?"
    "She murdered Xander!"
    Buffy embraced Willow, and they stood there, crying together, for a while.
    Willow finally left and wandered the streets. Confused, angry, hurt, she went
to look for Angelus to stake him. She was successful in finding him, but not
in killing him. He overpowered her greatly and killed her quickly.
***
    Buffy was not expecting the call that she would receive the next day. She had
now lost everything: her friends, her family, her love. She grabbed the gun
and was about to pull the trigger when WillowÆs parents called.
Mr. and Mrs. Rosenberg had asked Buffy to take WillowÆs belongings since they
were so close. Before going to the house, she locked her gun in her desk
drawer and put the key on the nightstand.
With a heavy heart, she searched through her computer files. One of the
documenets sounded interesting to her, so she opened it. "The Restoration
Ceremony."
//Ohmigod// she thought. //Maybe I havenÆt lost my loveà//

End Part 1

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From:    Sarah Douglas <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (2/14)
Date: 04 Apr 1998 23:11:38

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy or any of the other wonderful characters in
the Buffyverse.  I am using them without the permission of the people who
do own them who are not going to sue me because I am not making any money
off this.  Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kusui and Sandollar own the Buffy
characters.
DISTRIBUTION: Just ask.
RATING: Probably PG
FEEDBACK: I would love to know what you all think of this.  Please send me
feedback.  Pretty please.  <[e-mail]>
SUMMARY:  Okay, well this takes place while Ms. Calendar is still alive,
but Angel is evil, so probably Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.  It's
another "Angel gets his soul back" story which I wrote to convince myself
that Angel could be good again.  It's kind of long and I'm sorry about that
you all.  Well, enough with the talk, on with the show.
AUTHOR'S MESSAGE: Okay, I'm sorry it took me so long to send this next part
out, but due to school work, buffyfic and willowfic piled up in huge stacks
in my box, and I've been working very hard to do all my school work and
read fic because I want to read the fic and I don't want to do my homework.
SPECIAL THANKS: Special thanks goes out to Angellov for pumping up my ego
after I sent this in.
ONE LAST THING: A while ago I think I promised to be someones beta reader,
but I don't remember who it was and I lost the story.  To whomever it was,
I'm very, very sorry and if you still want me to read your story I'd be
glad to.  I promise not to lose it this time.

Okay, on with the show.

The Cure  (2/14)

Buffy sat in class staring blankly at the pecil she was twirling.

"Ms. Summers, could you answer that?" the teacher's voice said.  Buffy
continued to stare blankly.

"Ms. Summers!" the teacher's voice broke into Buffy's thoughts.

"Excuse me, what?" Buffy replied, coming back to reality with a jolt.

"Ms. Summers, please speak to me after class.  And pay attention."

Buffy nodded and slumped back in her chair.  She payed token attention for
the rest of the class.  Finally, the bell rang.  Buffy sighed and got up.

"I'll wait for you," Xander said.  Buffy smiled gratefully.

"Buffy, I've noticed you haven't been paying attention in class recently.
What's going on?" the teacher asked.

"I'm really sorry I haven't been paying attention, I've just been dealing
with a lot of stuff recently.  It's just been kind of  overwhelming.  I'll
try harder to pay attention," Buffy replied.

"Okay Buffy, do that.  You can go."  Buffy gratefully left the room.

"You okay Buff?" Xander asked as Buffy came into the hall.  She sighed and
Xander gave her a hug.

"Come on, Giles is waiting for us."

***************

The bell jolted Jenny Calendar back to reality.  Seh quickly dismissed the
class and gathered together all her stuff.  When she looked at the doorway,
she saw Rupert.  her heart sang with joy at the thought that they were
going to be friends again.  She walked towards him and he walked towards her.

"Giles!  What's wrong?" Willow asked from behind Jenny.

<<Damn, it's not me he came to see!>> Jenny thought, sighing.

"Willow, I need you to come with me," Giles said.  He and Willow hurried
out of the room, not saying a word to Jenny.

<< Now I *really* have to bring Angel back.>>

**************

Willow and Giles were just sitting down as Buffy and Xander came in.

"Hi Giles!" Buffy greeted.

" Her G-man," Xander said

"Hello Buffy, Xander.  We have a problem," Giles replied.

"Of course we do.  We live on the Hellmouth.  So, what new delight has the
Hellmouth dropped in out laps?" Buffy asked.

"Well, it's not the Hellmouth precisely.  We all know that Angel has made
Buffy his target, and since he wants to hurt her, that makes all of us
targets.  I need to know who ever invited him into their homes," Giles
explained.

"No sweat, G-man.  I never invited dead-boy in," Xander said.

"That's good.  What about the two of you?" Giles asked.

"Does the word *duh* mean anything to you Giles?  Of course I've invited
him in.  Why?" Buffy responded.

"Well, as I'm sure you all realize, a vampire can't come in unless they're
invited.  Which is a good defense, until they've been invited in because
then they can come in whenever they want.  So, if Angel is targeting Buffy,
being invited into any of our houses gives him a big advantage.  But if
he's only been invited into Buffy's house, we'll be okay," Giles explained.
 Willow paled.

"Ummmm . . .Giles, I've invited Angel in," Willow said quietly.

"You've what?!  Oh dear, this really is a problem.  How are we going to
protect Willow?"

*************

As Angel fell asleep he thought <<It's been awhile since I gave Buffy a
present.  I think Willow's lifeless body would be perfect.>>

End part 2

What did you think?  Send comments good, bad, whatever to
[e-mail]

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (4/?) by Ingrid
Date: 05 Apr 1998 09:47:11 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: Welcome to my new story. This one might
be a tad difficult to understand at first, since it takes place
ten years into the future, and IÆm not telling you whatÆs
happened in advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time
goes on in the story. I love to get feedback, except when
my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you want
to get this, ask me for it!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Four: "Good Morning"
*********

It was early the next day when he heard a pounding on the
door and practically bolted up in bed. Only CordeliaÆs iron
grip stopped him. She was holding on tight, the way she
always had and probably always would. Cordelia was the
type that wouldnÆt let you get away, he thought.

Not that he wanted to.

He shook her a little by the shoulder, and she simply shifted
in closer, mumbling something about not wanting to wake
the Latin people.

"Cordy."

"What? Too early. Talk later. Sleep now." She turned over
again.

The pounding grew louder. It seemed to be shaking the house.

"Forget it. IÆll let her in." He artfully slipped out of her arms
and grabbed his bathrobe on the way out.

Padding out into the living room, he turned on the coffee
maker and crossed again to open the door.

A thirteen-year old girl stood outside the door, looking way
too worried for a thirteen-year old girl. It was hard to believe
her capable of creating such a racket. She was scrawny, with
a head that seemed too large for her tiny neck.

"Hi, Corin."

"Hi, Mr. Harris." Her voice was quiet, and barely audible.

He had to strain to keep from rolling his eyes. "Come on in."
He paused, wondering if he should even bother. He decided
to try, anyway.

"Corin?"

"Yes?"

"You can call us by our first names, you know."

"Okay, Mr.à uhhà Xander, then," she chirped.

A sparrow, thatÆs what she was, he thought.

"Catching on." He smiled, and she simply stood there with
a serious expression on her face. He wondered if sheÆd even
caught the sarcasm in his voice. Probably. She was genius
intellectually, but her non-existent sense of
humor really frightened him. She faced everything with a
permanent gravity that seemed as fixed a part of her face as
her eyes or her mouth.

"Cordelia is asleep, but I guess I didnÆt need to tell you
that, did I?"

She remained silent.

"Okay. Just hold on. You can get yourself something to eat
or drink. You know where everything is, right?" She nodded,
but didnÆt make a move.

Before returning to the bedroom, he glanced backwards to
see her awkwardly standing in the middle of the living room.
She was sweet, but everything that girl did was awkward. It
was hard to believe she could be a vampire slayer.

***

He rushed to CordeliaÆs side when he saw her twisted form
on the bed. She was tangled in the sheets, writhing in pain.
Her eyes were closed, but her face was a mask of grief.

Her statuesque figure disappeared, and in an instant she
was small and weak.

Endeavoring to end her unknown suffering, he shook her
gently.

"Cordelia," he whispered, even as his heart constricted.
Just a dream, he reminded himself, and her eyes fluttered
open.

"Xander?" She looked confused, as if she didnÆt believe
he was standing in front of her.

"Cordelia, CorinÆs here."

"What?"

"SheÆs here. She just got here. Are you okay?"

"I donÆt know," she replied, holding her head. "I think I
just had one of the dreams." She sat still for a moment.
"It was like the dream Corin described, but somehow
different."

"How?"

"It was worse."
***
END, PART 4. Comments? Questions? Write to me at
[e-mail].

Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:StarCross'd Lovers(2/5)
Date: 05 Apr 1998 09:52:23 EDT

Star-CrossÆd Lovers (2/5)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: Star-CrossÆd Lovers
AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy
RATING: PG
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
SPOILERS: None.
SUMMARY: Angel is Angelus and has killed Ms. Calendar. Pretty much, this just
shows how strong AngelÆs and BuffyÆs love is. Oh, and this isnÆt your regular
restoration story. This gets sad, so if you are not into that kind of thing,
donÆt read it.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is owned by Joss Wheden,
Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, 20th Century Fox, etc. No infringement
intended.
FEEDBACK: Please.
Star-CrossÆd Lovers(2/5)
      Buffy bravely lured Angelus to the library where she was going to
perform the Restoration Ceremony. She had evreything she needed: a Thesselan
Orb, Angelus, and a copy of the spell.
    "Well, well, well. I see youÆve decorated for me," Angelus sneered.
    "YÆlike? I picked it out all by myself."
    "I hope you like my little presents. I made sure to give the very best."
    With that, she reached for a stake, but stopped herself. Instead, she started
chanting the spell.
    Angelus fell to the ground in emense pain. "IÆm gonna kill you, you little
bitch!" But he couldnÆt move. His body started to sting all over, and he
shrieked. Suddenly, the pain stopped, and he was perfectly fine.
    "Buffy?" he whispered. He stood up and turned to see her. He quickly grabbed
and held her.
     She leaned up and looked in his eyes. "Angel?" It was more of a statement
than a question.
     He, too, looked in her eyes and was aghast at what he saw. Those werenÆt
the eyes of the Buffy he knew, but the eyes of someone emensely in agony.
Memories flooded his mind. He had murdered them all, and it had killed Buffy.
He couldnÆt take it back. How could he even say heÆs sorry and expect for her
to understand.
    "Buffy, IÆmà"
    "Angel, donÆt. It isnÆt your fault." Tears started falling down her face:
tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of anger. "Angel, Angelus was the one
who did this; not you. You are in no way responsible; I am. But now heÆs gone
forever. YouÆre human, Angel. WeÆre just going to have to move on."
    But the look on her face told him that she was still hurting. "Buffy, I
love you. I donÆt regret making love to you, only the consequenses that
follow. DonÆt believe a word he said, æcause none of itÆs true. You were
terrific. Buffy-"
   "Just hold me." And he did just that. Together, they cried and cried.
Finally, Angel let go.
   "I have a decision to make."
   "What are you talking about?"
   "When you are a true human and the demon is completely gone, you have a
decision to make. You have two choices: One, you can start off at the age you
died at and live a normal life. Or-"
   "Yes."
   "ItÆs not that simple, Buff. The other choice is to let all those you have
murdered since the last full moon live, and you will perish, as if you werenÆt
a vampire. I have one day to make the decision. If I choose to live, we must
perform this ceromony again. If I donÆt, I will die, and Giles and Xander and
Willow and Cordelia and your mom will be restored. Buffy, I want you to make
the decision."
   "I, I canÆt do that. I canÆt choose between you and them."
   "Buffy, you have one day, and if you canÆt make your mind up, the choice
will be made for you. Is it me, your love, or them, your friends and
relatives?"

End Part 2

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (5/?) by Ingrid
Date: 05 Apr 1998 11:40:34 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordy
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: Welcome to my new story. This one might
be a tad difficult to understand at first, since it takes place
ten years into the future, and IÆm not telling you whatÆs
happened in advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time
goes on in the story. I love to get feedback, except when
my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you want
to get this, ask me for it!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Five: "Peace"
*********

It was raining again.

The silver drops slipped along the window, merging and
descending to the bottom. He watched idly, his mind somewhere
far away as he sipped the tea.

He grimaced. It had become cold while heÆd been sitting.

There was nothing to do today. Stores were closed, and the world
froze with SundayÆs passage. Everything was still. At peace. Far
outside it was cool, and the ground swelled with the skyÆs
moisture.

The soft pattering on the window accompanied the silence in a
monotonous symphony. Everything seemed monotonous now. A
tea-bag. The rain. Getting up. Getting dressed.

The worst by far was thinking.

Thinking led to remembering, and more than anything, Rupert
Giles wanted to forget. His objection to the dullness of everyday
life was not so much the dullness in itself, but rather the way it
made you think about other, more exciting times.

If only something different would happen so he didnÆt have to
think about any of them.

He could still see the young womanÆs face on the last day. SheÆd
been so happy. After all these years, she was finally free. SheÆd
done the impossible, which meant that heÆd done his job better
than any of his predecessors. ThatÆs what it was supposed to
mean, at least.

Then thereÆd been the dark-haired man behind her whoÆd still
seemed out of place in the light of day. Giles hadnÆt been able
to bring himself to look at his face.

The relief didnÆt hit him until after the mumbled goodbye and the
plane ride back to England. It hit him as he limped from the
London airport and reached the old family house. ThatÆs when
heÆd finally understood that it was over.

 And it was only a few days more when heÆd realized he couldnÆt
stay with his family.

This was his retreat.

No guests, no phone calls, and only the occasional letter. He was
alone, except for the ghosts.

They came in dreams, rather, nightmares. Painful visions of the
only woman heÆd ever loved.

Her graying body sprinkled with rose petals.

That horrible opera.

Then the little red-haired hacker, helplessly clutching her killerÆs
neck; falling.

The funeral procession.

The bodies combined into a nameless victim with a thousand faces.

Dirt settling on top of the lacquered wood.

The phoneÆs shrill sound ripped through his reverie, jolting him
awake.

It took him three rings before heÆd recovered enough to answer.

"Hello?"

"Giles? ItÆs Buffy. I need your help."
*****
END, PART 5. Comments? Questions? Write to me at [e-mail].

Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
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Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Tracy Cain" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Third Child: (1/?)
Date: 05 Apr 1998 08:46:08 PDT

Name: The Third Child
Author: Rihanon
Address: [e-mail]
Feedback: This is my first story, so please share! Good? Bad? Ugly? I
crave this information!!!!!!!!
Distribution: Anya can have it, anyone else who wants it can e-mail me
and ask.  I'll say yes, but please ask first.
Summary: Spike has a plot. (So what else is new?)
Spoilers: uh- What's My Line? Definitely before S/I, though.
Disclaimer: In no way am I creative enough to come up with the
characters used in this story.  If you recognize anything, it's not
mine, and belongs to the evil Joss.
Warnings: This part's not too bad, some violence, later parts will be
worse, depending on your point of view.
Rating: PG, I think. Maybe PG-13, I'm a really bad judge of this.

******************
The Third Child: (1/?)
By Rihanon
******************

       Buffy pushed a rebellious strand of hair out of her face as she
knocked on the door. It was soon opened, and she felt her heart begin to
pound as she gazed at his face. Angel moved to the side to allow her to
enter, and she smiled as she brushed past him.
       "Hey."
       "Hey.  You're here early," he observed.
       She shrugged.  "I missed you."
       "You were here last night."
       "So?"
       He laughed, low in his throat, as he pulled her into his arms.
"I missed you too," he murmured softly as he bent down to kiss her.
       The Slayer shivered at the taste of his lips as she melted into
his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him even
closer.
She loved the feel of his arms around her, the hard muscles of his chest
and shoulders gently cradling her body.
       He inhaled the scent of her hair as he savored the kiss, his
hands sliding across her back, caressing her slender body.  Buffy pulled
away slightly, gasping for breath, before claiming his mouth again.
       Eventually, she broke it off, sighing lightly.  "I hate to say
this, but I promised Giles I'd hunt tonight, to make up for missing so
much time recently."
       He smiled that small subdued smile of his that she loved.  "All
right.  Stop by again tomorrow?"
       "Like anything could keep me away."

*****************************************************

       "Giles," Buffy called out as she entered the library next
morning.
       "Oh, there you are Buffy," said the librarian coming out from
behind a stack of books, "How did hunting go last night?"
       "That's the weird thing. I made a pass of all the usual vampy
haunts after I left Angel's, but I didn't see one.  That's the second
night in a row; it's like they're in hibernation or something."
       "Ummm, yes. That is rather odd."
       "Could it be because of Spike and Drucilla getting killed?"
       "I rather doubt it.  The death of their leaders would have caused
the local vampires to become both demoralized and rather disorganized,
but I can't imagine them all going into hiding."
       "Well," she began, turning as the library doors opened.  "Hi,
Will, Xander."
       "Hi Buff," he said.  "Slay any interesting vampires last night?"
       "No, the only one I even saw was Angel."
       "So, I repeat: slay any interesting vampires last night?"
       "Xander!" Willow exclaimed in exasperation.  "Of course not."
       The bell rang, and Buffy looked up in irritation.  "Oh crap, I'd
better get to class; Snyder's really been on my case lately."
       "Yes, yes, of course," Giles muttered.  "Stop by after school,
and I'll, um, see if I can find an explanation for last night's
aberration."
       "Will do.  See you guys."

       "So, Giles, any luck?" she asked as she dropped her books on the
table.
       "Actually, no; I admit, I'm quite baffled.  Everything I read
indicated that the only reason a whole town of vampires might, uh, æstay
in' as it were, is that a strong leader is compelling them to do so.
And we know that their leader was Spike."
       "Well, is it possible that they have a new leader?"
       "Possible, but highly unlikely.  There were no other vampires in
town that the others feared enough to follow, and I would think that we
would have heard if anyone new had shown up.  I have no idea what's
going on."
       "So that's it?  æSorry, wait and see what tries to kill you
next,' that's all you have for me?"
       "Buffy, I'm sorry.  Have you spoken to Angel about all this?"
       "No, but I'll ask him tonight when I see him."
       "Yes, and let me know tomorrow if he had any insights into our
dilemma."

*****************************************************

       Buffy walked through the graveyard, deep in thought.  Still no
vampires, and that lack was really making her nervous.  On the surface
it appeared to be a good thing, but she just *knew* they were up to
something.  Determinately she pushed her worries out of her mind,
letting her thoughts wander.  Angel...  They always wandered to the same
place anyway.
       She loved him, she was finally accepting that, but that thought
caused another worry to flit through her mind.
       <Does he love me?  He never actually said that he did- and why
would he?  He could have any girl he wanted, well any girl willing to
accept a nights-only relationship, anyway.>
       Her thoughts were interrupted as a chill feeling of evil slid
across her skin.  Disturbed, she whirled around trying to pinpoint the
source.  She heard air rushing over something as it hurtled towards her,
and she threw herself to the ground.
       Claws rent the air where she had stood a moment before.  As Buffy
looked up, she saw a creature straight out of her worst nightmares.
Leathery wings beat through the night as it wheeled to face her, looking
like some kind of devil straight out of scripture.
       The creature lunged at her, it's claws raking her shoulder. She
screamed as desperately she tried to bring her stake up.  She finally
managed to raise her stake, pitiful against this *thing* but the only
weapon she had.  As she felt blackness descend around her, she rammed
the stake home with the last of her strength.
       She smelled sulfur and heard a distant scream as she fell to the
ground, blood pouring from her shoulder, arm and chest.  Behind her she
heard derisive, mocking laughter.
       "My, my, it appears the little Slayer can barely handle a small
hate-wraith.  If such as *you* can give Spike so much trouble, it's a
wonder he's still alive."A tall, slender vampire, his long dark hair
framing violet eyes, walked languidly into her field of view.  "If
that's the best you can do, this won't be nearly as entertaining as I
had hoped."  He shrugged, "Oh well, it's not as though you're my actual
target."
       Reaching down, he took hold of her hair, and, with a casual
strength, dragged her to her feet.  "I want you to deliver a message to
Angelus, little Slayer; can you do that?" he inquired, giving her a
rough shake.
       Buffy whimpered involuntarily in pain as the motion jarred her
wounds.
       "Good.  Tell him that Rasitin is in town, and that it's payback
time.  I'm going to show him how well I learned his lessons, and before
I'm done- he'll beg to die.  Maybe if he's very lucky, I'll leave you
out of it."
       He laughed again as he released her.  "Be a good girl, and hurry
up now," he called after her as she stumbled away towards Angel's.

*****************************************************
 I think this part was rather cliched, if so forgive me.  And if you're
wondering who Rasitin is, you have to wait until part 2 to find out.

______________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (5/?)
Date: 05 Apr 1998 11:30:29 -0700

My Chronicle #5 is too long, it keeps on bouncing, so if anyone would
like to read it, it can be found at my friend's site:
    http://www.bfree.on.ca/ppages/trish/

Hope that URL works.

Taygeta

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Clare H." <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Universe of Love (1/1)
Date: 05 Apr 1998 14:32:35 EDT

Title: Universe of Love (1/1)
Author: Clare H.
Distribution: Ask first
Feedback: Sure, itÆs my first fanfic, so itÆs probably bad. Please send
me constructive criticism instead of flames though...
Summary: A Buffy/Angel confrontation
Disclaimer: The characters and ideas of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong
to Josh Whedon and the WB and a lot of other people, all of whom are not
me. There was no copyright infringement intended. The song lyrics are
from Savage GardenÆs song ôUniverseö and that also is not mine.
Rating: PG? There is nothing that we wouldnÆt see on the show...
Spoiler: The only thing it really relates to is Surprise/Innocence. It
takes place after Killed by Death though...
Notes: This is a scene I imagined for next season. If it happens, I just
guessed.
ItÆs really sappy, so if you hate sappy love stories and are looking for
gory battles, skip this story.
Oh, this {~~~} means weÆre moving to another person/pair of people, and
indented stuff is song quotes.
I'm working on a prequel, but it isn't very far along so don't expect it
for quite a quile...
Buffy sat alone at her favorite spot in the Bronze. She came with the
gang to celebrate the last day before school started. While Will and Oz
danced and Cordy and Xander made-out, she thought. She was thinking
about what the next week would include; training with Giles, getting
settled into a new routine of classes and teachers to hate. It dawned on
her that she was a senior, she and her friends would pick out
collages...could a slayer *go* to collage? She added that to her list of
things to ask Giles.

As Buffy sipped her cafΘ lattΘ, a song that she was unfamiliar with came
on. As she listened, the words seemed to reflect that night she shared
with Angel, less that six months ago...

        Well IÆd like to take you as I find you
        Imagine our clothes are on the floor
        Feel my caress so soft and gentle
        So delicate you cry for more

So much had happened since then... So much had happened since last
night. Buffy had saved the world from doom, not to mention her friends
lives and her own from the person she loved most. Her ex-guardian,
Angel.

She lied to her friends when she said she was ready to kill him. The
pain of watching him turn to dust before her was just too much to bear.
So she let him go numerous times, until last night...

                                ~~~

        But you know baby
        You know baby does it right
        And you know baby does it right
        Universe inside of your heart
        You gotta let me know so you can be free baby
        You wanted it so much and now that itÆs over
        You donÆt know what you want

Angel stared across the room thinking practically the same things. Why
did she let me get away with the things I did? Why didnÆt she kill me?

Now that the demon was gone, he had even more guilt to bear. He had hurt
the one thing he had ever loved, that loved him and accepted him, the
dark side, as well as the light. He had destroyed her, piece by piece,
until she was groveling at his feet, begging him to kill her. What have
I done to her? was the first question he asked himself after his soul
got restored. Why? was the immediate second.

She had cured him, finally, after months of torture for herself. Now he
wondered if she wanted him back.

        Put time in a capsule
        Two minds consensual
        Entwined to perfection
        If we could...

ôDance?ö Angel said as he sneaked up behind Buffy, so as not to let her
get away. ôWe *need* to talk.ö

ôYeah,ö was BuffyÆs only answer.

Angel noticed she looked exhausted, and asked her about it. Instead of a
witty quip, as he was expecting for a response, about how if you save
the world youÆre entitled to look sleepy, he received another nod.

ôDo you want me to leave?ö he asked. ôBecause I will, if youÆre
uncomfortable with me and all. You *were* trying to kill me 24 hours
ago...ö He continued as he thought æGreat, IÆm babbling. I have never
babbled in my life. Boy I must sound like an idiot.Æ

Buffy had never seen him like this, rambling like a nervous 13 year-old
asking out a girl for the first time. ôIf you want to go, IÆll
understand,ö he finally finished.

ôAngel, for the past six months this is all IÆve wanted to do. IÆm in so
much shock that my brain is telling me to hold you and kiss you and make
sure you arenÆt an illusion. The part of me that normally says ôAngelÆs
bad, kill him.ö is still malfunctioning, so please, before I regain my
senses, letÆs have this one dance.ö

Angel replied by pulling her closer ôIÆm just so sorry...ö

        Cuddle up close
        Lay on my chest now
        Listen my heart beatÆs coming down
        If you get tired you close your eyes now
        When you wake up I wonÆt be found
        æCause I know baby
        I know your the nervous kind
        With so much going on in your mind

                                ~~~

As the couple danced, Xander looked on disgustedly. ôWell look at them,ö
he whispered to Cordelia. ôCould they get *any* closer?!?ö

ôOr happier? Come on Xander, you know this is what Buffy wants...anyway
theyÆre not much closer than we are.ö

ôYeah, but I wasnÆt a blood thirsty demon 24 hours ago.ö

ôXander, youÆre being unfair, and you know it. You know how much she
loves him,ö and as they looked over they saw them. As close as possible,
fitting perfectly.

        Universe inside of your heart
        You gotta let me know so you can be free baby
        You wanted it so much and now that itÆs over
        You donÆt know what you want

                                ~~~

ôWow,ö commented Oz. ôYou all knew Angel as a good guy first, so it must
look normal, or something...that theyÆre dancing, I mean. For me, itÆs
like æwhoa, BuffyÆs double crossing us?Æ æcuz the second time I saw him,
he was already messing with BuffyÆs mind.ö

ôWell, itÆs weird for me too.  Last night his fangs were practically in
my neck. That kinda changes how you look at a person.ö

        But let me tell you that, this time
        IÆm going to make you mine
        (IÆm going to make you mine)
        æCause I know, this time
        IÆm going to make sure I look out for me

                                ~~~

ôI wish I was sure that the curse was irreversible. Maybe, after
tonight, I should leave town...that way if the curse *was* broken, I
couldnÆt hurt you...ö

Buffy could have sworn she saw a tear roll down his cheek. ôAngel, itÆs
okay. IÆm fine. You didnÆt drive me totally insane like Dru and you only
killed Ms. Calender. I admit it was a terrible thing, but it wasnÆt
*you* doing it. If you were around to see how I was treating her for not
telling me...us... about the restrictions of the curse, you would have
been *so* disappointed...ö

ôI could never be disappointed in you, Buffy. You defeated what some
watchers and slayers called the worst vampire in history...me. If I
could take back everything I did to you, but then IÆd have to die and
live in hell, just knowing that you didnÆt have *any* hard feelings for
me would make it worth while. IÆd do it, Buffy, because...I love
you...with all my heart and soul, and...ö

ôShh...ö Buffy whispered, while tears stained her face. Before he
started talking again she went up and kissed him, for the first time in
ages. Once the kiss was over she leaned over and murmured in his ear, ôI
love you too.ö She pulled him down as Angel pulled her up and kissed him
again.

        æCause you know baby
        Well you know baby does it right
        And you know baby does it right
        You will only end up lost in loneliness
        And wake up with the words already on your lips
        So IÆll let you go, baby
        So IÆll let you go...

Instead of starting, or deepening the kisses, as he did before he
changed, he was reluctant. Almost not wanting to kiss Buffy. As he
pulled away from her, so she could breathe, he asked, ôAre you sure,
this is smart?ö

ôYou not kissing me. Damnit, *thatÆs* what isnÆt smart,ö she murmured
again.

ôBut...ö

ôAngel, do you want me to go slayer on you? My æangryÆ emotion has
gotten a whole lot more vivid since the last time you saw it.ö

ôWell then, I suppose I donÆt.ö

ôSo I suppose you should kiss me now.ö

ôI suppose I should...ö

        Universe inside of your heart
        You gotta let me know so you can be free baby
        You wanted it so much and now that itÆs over
        You donÆt know what you want

Buffy realized that her similarity with the song had ended before that
last line was sung. She *did* know what she wanted, now that her reunion
with Angel was over...She wanted to be with him, in his arms, forever.

As the song ended they stood in an embrace knowing there was a universe
of love in both their hearts.



______________________________________________________
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-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: My Moira (1/?)
Date: 05 Apr 1998 11:48:30 -0700

Title: My Moira (1/?)
Author: Taygeta
E-mail: [e-mail]
Feedback: It's new and I really need the thoughts, so please send.
Distribution: Anywhere you think appropriate, but please tell me first.
Spoiler: Not really
Description: Twenty years into the future, 'nuff said.
Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.
Rating: PG, just kissing.
******************************
My Moira (1/?)
By: Taygeta

    "Xander...oh, Xander," a coquettish voice said calling Alexander
"Xander" Harris out of his deep slumber.  He opened his eyes slowly, and
they met the most beautiful sight...his wife.
    "Hey," Xander said softly as a smile appeared upon her face.
    "Hey, yourself," she said as she lightly kissed face; his
forehead, his brow, his cheek, and just when she was about to reach his
lips, she made a move to jump out of bed.
    "Not so fast," Xander said with a laugh as he grabbed her waist
gently and then hushed her giggling lips with his.
    "I'd say get a room, but this is your room.  So, I'm going to say
get a room and close the door," retorted fifteen-year-old Moira Willow
Harris leaning against the doorframe of her parents' bedroom.
    Xander coughed slightly as he let go of his wife, who was
noticeable turning pinkish, despite the fact that their daughter had seen
them in their passionate moments for more times than she liked to admit.
Moira saw her mother kiss her father on the cheek gently before she got
out of bed and walked to the door with a sigh.
    She looked at Moira with a smile, a shake of her head, and then
said, "Just my luck, my daughter gets my husband's sense of humor," and
she kissed her daughter and walked out of the door.
    "Moira, you also got my bad timing," said Xander with a yawn,
causing Moira rolled her eyes, and close the door to let her dad sleep.
    Xander lay back on his pillows, but didn't fall asleep.  He
thought about how everything had changed since they had closed the
Hellmouth twenty years ago.  Everything was decidedly peaceful and there
were no more vampires to slay or creatures of the night and day to fight,
just the normal ones.  He sighed in content, for the last few years, he
had lived in peace and happiness that he had never known could exist.  He
found it everyday in his daughter, in his life, and in the love of his
life...Buffy Summers.

_____________________________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From:    Sarah Douglas <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (3/14)
Date: 05 Apr 1998 16:47:52

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy or any of the other wonderful characters in
the Buffyverse.  I am using them without the permission of the people who
do own them who are not going to sue me because I am not making any money
off this.  Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kusui and Sandollar own the Buffy
characters.

DISTRIBUTION: Just ask.

RATING: Probably PG

FEEDBACK: I would love to know what you all think of this.  Please send me
feedback.  Pretty please.  <[e-mail]>

SUMMARY:  Okay, well this takes place while Ms. Calendar is still alive,
but Angel is evil, so probably Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.  It's
another "Angel gets his soul back" story which I wrote to convince myself
that Angel could be good again.  It's kind of long and I'm sorry about that
you all.  Well, enough with the talk, on with the show.

AUTHOR'S MESSAGE: I'm looking for spoilers for the last few eps this
season.  If anyone knows some or where I can find some, I would really
appriciate knowing.

On with the show

The Cure (3/14)

Giles was sitting at the table, rubbing his temples.  Willow sat across
form him looking pale and worried.  Xander sat next to her with his arm
around her, as if trying to protect her.  He was bitting his lower lip,
looking off as if trying to come up with a plan.  Buffy came in from Giles'
office with two cups of tea.  She put one in front of Giles and the other
in front of Willow.

"Okay, we need a plan.  My mom is in New York, looking for new paintings so
I have no problem moving in with Willow and protecting her," Buffy
suggested, taking charge of the group.

"My mom's at  a conference and my dad's still on a business trip, so I'm on
my own," Willow spoke up.

"That's good luck," Buffy said.

"Yes, it is, but we have to get you out right away.  After school, I want
both of you, go together, to go home, pack a bag and meet back here.  Go
quickly, I want everyting done before sunset," Giles instructed.  Buffy and
Willow nodded in agreement.  Giles smiled in return and sipped his tea.

*****************

Jenny Calendar had been searching the web, e-mailing her friends and trying
whatever she could think of to figure out what to do to give Angel back his
soul.  Now, she leaned back in her chair and sipped her coffee.  She looked
around the classroom, realizing that she didn't know what had happened in
any of her classes.  She decided she should see what was going on.  She
walked around and asked her students what they were doing and if they had
any problems.  As she was talking with a student, suddenly she figured out
who could help her.  <<They must know something>> she realized.

Jenny continued discussing things with her students until the bell finally
rang.  She dismissed her class and hurried to the phone in her office.  She
punched in the number they had given her "for emergincies only."  She
waited and it rang once, twice, then:

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Janna."

*****************

The final bell rang and Buffy and Willow headed for their lockers.  They
dropped off their stuff and headed out.  They walked along together toward
Willow's house.  Willow looked over at Buffy, who looked a little upset.

"Buffy, are you okay?" Willow asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just . . .well, . . ." Buffy trailed off, trying to
smile.  Willow waited for Buffy to continue.  "It's just, a few weeks ago,
Angel was my refuge, my safe haven.  I trusted him completely.  I felt
completely safe with him.  Now, my best friend and I have to pack ourselves
some bags and get out of our homes because Angel is such a threat to us."

"Oh, Buffy," Willow said and gave her best friend a hug.  Buffy started
crying and Willow put her arm around Buffy.  When Buffy regained her
composure, the two carried on.

***************

After class, Xander tried to find Buffy and Willow before they left.  After
looking for ten minutes, her decided that he'd missed them and went to the
library.

"Buffy?" Giles called out when he heard the door close behind Xander.

"Nope Giles, it's me."

"Oh, hello Xander."

"What's up, G-man?"

"I've been researching Angel's patterns from before he was cursed with his
soul.  It's rather disturbing actually."

"Why?"

"Well, when most vampires pick a special victim, they attack them,
sometimes torture them, then feed on them and often make them vampires.
Angel, on the other hand. . .  well, when he picks a special victim, it's
usually a young, beautiful woman, he drives them insane.  He kills off
everyone they care about one by one, often spacing them a week or two
apart.  He plays mind games with them.  He'll torture someone his victim
loves right in front of them, and then feed off them.  Once Angel's killed
off everyone close to his victim he *finally* feeds off them."

"Oh no.  Oh no.  Okay, he's big on the mean nasty, hurtful part, but
Buffy's the Slayer.  She has some built in protection system, right?"

"Ordinarily, yes, but Angel's something of a unique circumstance."

"A Slayer's never been in love with a vampire before."

"There's never been a vampire with a soul before.  And I'm sure that Buffy
will eventually be able to do what needs to be done.  At any rate, I want
to keep Willow where Angel can't get to her."

"Good, I want to keep Willow out of harm's way."

End part 3

What did you think?  E-mail comments to me at [e-mail]
Big hug to all who have sent feedback so far.

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:Star-Cross'd Lovers(3/5)
Date: 05 Apr 1998 17:20:33 EDT

 Star-CrossÆd Lovers (3/5)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: Star-CrossÆd Lovers
AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy
RATING: PG
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
SPOILERS: None.
SUMMARY: Angel is Angelus and has killed Ms. Calendar. Pretty much, this just
shows how strong AngelÆs and BuffyÆs love is. Oh, and this isnÆt your regular
restoration story. This gets sad, so if you are not into that kind of thing,
donÆt read it.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is owned by Joss Wheden,
Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, 20th Century Fox, etc. No infringement
intended.
FEEDBACK: Please.

Star-CrossÆd Lovers(3/5)

    //IÆm sorry, Angel, but IÆve decided that you have to die. No, no, no! ThatÆs
way to strong. God, how do you tell someone that you choose someone else to
live over them!// Buffy stayed in bed as she practiced silently to herself.
    "Something wrong, Buffy?" Angel asked. He slipped his arms around her and
kissed her cheek. They had spent one passionate night together, now that he
was human.
    She lied, "No, nothing."
    He moved over to the side of the bed and put on his boxers.
    "Where are you going?"
    "IÆve got to go since it is morning. We only have twelve hours left."
    "DonÆt go. ItÆs not day. ItÆs merely a meteor or something. Stay with me.
Give me yourself again."
    "YouÆre right. God, in heaven, keep me here, for I am content to do so. Let
me die here; Buffy wills it so."
    "No, no. It is day, not night. Go, go. Do what ever you have to do."
    "Buffy, what have you decided?"
    "IÆm sorry; IÆm so, so sorry. Angel, you mean the world to me. But the world
needs Giles to train me. Without him, I wouldnÆt be here to protect anyone
from the vampires."
    "Buffy, donÆt be sorry. You made the right decision."
    "Are you so sure? I mean, I lost you once, but I knew there was a possibility
of bringing you back. This is forever. I donÆt know if I could deal with
that." Tears started to stream down her face. "I canÆt live without you."
    "YouÆll go on and be prosperous. I wonÆt let anything hurt you, okay? CÆmon,
we have to go."
    The two went to the graveyard and brought the bodies of Giles, Willow,
Xander, Cordelia, and Mrs. SummerÆs to the house. All they could do was wait.

End Part 3/5


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:Star-Cross'd Lovers(4/5)
Date: 05 Apr 1998 18:09:45 EDT

Star-CrossÆd Lovers (4/5)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: Star-CrossÆd Lovers
AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy
RATING: PG
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
SPOILERS: None.
SUMMARY: Angel is Angelus and has killed Ms. Calendar. Pretty much, this just
shows how strong AngelÆs and BuffyÆs love is. Oh, and this isnÆt your regular
restoration story. This gets sad, so if you are not into that kind of thing,
donÆt read it.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is owned by Joss Wheden,
Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, 20th Century Fox, etc. No infringement
intended.
FEEDBACK: Please.
Star-CrossÆd Lovers(4/5)

    Angel and Buffy had spent the rest of the day cleaning out AngelÆs
appartment, saying goodbyes, and groping. It was 7:56; two minutes until he
was gone.
    "Angel, I donÆt want to let you go."
    "I donÆt want to let you go either."
    "Buffy, I love you. IÆve loved you since the day I met you. I donÆt regret
one bit this decision, or any decision youÆve made for that matter."
    "I love you too. I-"
    Suddenly life started to drain from this face. "Kiss me," he whispered,
"donÆt say goodbye."
    And so she did just that. One small kiss on his lips, and his eyes closed.
    "Angel!" she shrieked. "NO!" A burst of tears fell down her face. She held
her face in her hands and noticed her ring. As she started looking for her
cross, she found a key to her drawer. She opened it up and saw the gun. On a
piece of paper, she scribbled something and left it on the desk. Her hands
picked up the gun. She pulled back the hammer and stuck it to her head. Her
eyes closed, she pulled the trigger and fell into AngelÆs arms, where she
would live forever.
*****
Angel: Is there a problem, ma'am?
Buffy:  Yeah, there's a problem. Why are you following me?
Angel:  I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I don't biteàTruth is, I
thought you'd be taller, or bigger muscles and all that. You're pretty spry,
though.
Buffy:  What do you want?
Angel:  The same thing you do.
Buffy:  Okay. What do I want?
Angel:  To kill them. To kill them all.
Buffy:  Sorry, that's incorrectàWhat I want is to be left alone!àWho are you?
Angel:  Let's just say... I'm a friend.
Buffy:  Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend.
Angel:  I didn't say I was yours.
***
Angel:  Look, I don't wanna get you in any more trouble...
Buffy:  And I don't wanna get you deadà So, uh, oh... two of us, one bed.
That doesn't work. Um, why don't you take the bed?  Y'know, you're wounded...
Angel:  I'll take the floor.
Buffy:  Uh, no, that's not...
Angel:  Oh, believe me, I've had worse.
Angel: Y-you even look pretty when you go to sleep.
Buffy:  Well, when I wake up it's an entirely different story.
Buffy:  Here.  Sleep tight.
Buffy:  Angel?
Angel:  Hm?
Buffy:  Do you snore?
Angel:  I don't know.  It's been a long time since anybody's been in a
position to let me know.
***

Buffy:  I just wanted to be a real girl for once.  The kind of fancy girl you
liked when you were my age.
Angel: Oh, ho.
Buffy:  What?
Angel:  I hated the girls back then.  Especially the noble women.
Buffy: You did.
Angel:  They were just incredibly dull.  Simpering morons, a lot of
them.  I always wished I could meet someone... exciting. Interesting.
Buffy:  Really?  Interesting how?
Angel:  You know how.
Buffy:  Still, I had a really hard day.  You should probably tell me.
Angel: You're right.  I should.
Buffy: Definitely.
***
Angel:  When was the last time you put on your skates?
Buffy: About a couple of hundred demons ago.
Angel: There's a rink out past route 17, it's... closed on Tuesdays.
Buffy: Tomorrow's Tuesday.
Angel:  I know.
***

Angel:  Are you okay?
Buffy:  What about you?  That cut!
Angel:  Forget about me.  This is bad, Buffy.  We gotta get you outta here.
Buffy:  What, you mean hide?
Angel:  Let's just get you someplace safe!
Buffy:  No!  Your eye!
She reaches back up to him and he shakes her off.
Buffy:  Hey!  Don't be a baby.  I'm not gonna hurt you.
Angel:  It's not that.  I...
Buffy:  What?
Angel:  You shouldn't have to touch me when I'm like this.
Buffy:  Oh. I didn't even notice.
***

Buffy:  You almost went away today.
Angel:  We both did.
Buffy: Angel... I feel like I lost you...  You're right, though.  We can't be
sure of anything.
Angel:  Shhh.  I...
Buffy:  You what?
Angel:  I love you.  I try not to, but I can't stop.
Buffy:  Me, me, too.  I can't either.
Angel:  Buffy, maybe we shouldn't...
Buffy: Don't.  Just kiss meà.
***
Buffy: Angel, I donÆt want to let you go.
Angel: I donÆt want to let you go either. Buffy, I love you. IÆve loved you
since the day I met you. I donÆt regret one bit this decision, or any decision
youÆve made for that matter.
Buffy: I love you too. I-
Angel: Kiss meàdonÆt say goodbye.
***
End Part 4/5 Prologue to come!!


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:Star-Crossed Lovers(5/5)
Date: 05 Apr 1998 18:45:10 EDT

Star-CrossÆd Lovers (5/5)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: Star-CrossÆd Lovers
AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy
RATING: PG
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
SPOILERS: None.
SUMMARY: Angel is Angelus and has killed Ms. Calendar. Pretty much, this just
shows how strong AngelÆs and BuffyÆs love is. Oh, and this isnÆt your regular
restoration story. This gets sad, so if you are not into that kind of thing,
donÆt read it.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is owned by Joss Wheden,
Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, 20th Century Fox, etc. No infringement
intended. IÆd also like to thank Alexander for giving me the episode
transcripts for doing section 4/5.
FEEDBACK: Please.
Star-CrossÆd Lovers (5/5 Epilogue)

    Giles had woken up just in time to hear the gun shot. He had run from Mrs.
SummerÆs room, where he had been laid, to BuffyÆs room. He was shocked at the
sight in front of him. A dead, bloody Buffy lay on Angel, who had her blood
splattered on his face. He noticed the gun in BuffyÆs hand, and was utterly
confused. He then remembered his death and was even more perplexed.
    Mrs. SummerÆs, Xander, Willow, and Cordelia ran into the room. Cordelia and
Mrs. SummerÆs shrieked, Willow cried, Xander was in shock.
    Finally, Giles noticed the note on the desk. He read it silently to himself.

Dear Giles,
       I know that you are probably confused and upset; and you every reason to
be. IÆll try to explain this as best I can:
    Angelus murdered everyone: you, Willow, Xander, Cordelia, and Mom. I found
something Willow had been working on on her computer: the Restoration
Ceremony. I permormed it and AngelÆs soul was not only returned, but the demon
left.
    He had a choice though, to either be human for the rest of his life, or to
have all that he killed since the last full moon live and he perish. He chose
to die.
    I didnÆt know how to go on without him. I couldnÆt go on without him. IÆm
with him now, in heaven. IÆm sorry, Giles. Sorry I couldnÆt say goodbye; sorry
that I needed to say goodbye.
    Tell Mom I love her, and that Angelus killed me. Ironically, its the truth.
Tell Will and Xander that they were terrific friends, and I appreciated that.
I love you, and IÆll never forget you. Have a great life, and make sure to
take care of the new Slayer just as well as you did me.
-Buffy
***
    As it was supposed to happen, Kendra took over as Slayer. Giles, not needing
to be a Watcher, left for England. Xander and Cordelia were married and
divorced-twice. Willow and Oz had been married, but Oz had joined the army and
died in battle. She and Xander had gotten married later on in life and had one
child. None of them ever forgot Buffy or Angel or the Hellmouth. But, as life
went on, the pain became less.

End Star-CrossÆd Lovers


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Dreamscape <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: You Answered My Challenge!!!
Date: 05 Apr 1998 23:12:30 -0400

I've been working on a Willow/Angel fic for awhile.  Due to time
constraints, it's taking me much longer than I thought.  I've been posting
it on the BBeta and Willfic lists, but if you would like it posted here...or
for me to send you the finished parts, I would be honored to have you read
it

Thanks for your time,

Dreamscape


Ingrid E Stanton wrote:

> Everybody-
> I just wanted to compliment everyone who answered my challenge (to write
> some Willow/Angel fic). They're all interesting spins on the situation.
> Who knows? Maybe if I ever finish "Reunion," I'll do my own take on it!
> Once again, my compliments!
> -Ingrid
>
> Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
> Normalcy,"
> "One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
> "Tragic
> Sighs" and "Footsteps."
>
> _____________________________________________________________________
> You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
> Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
> Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]
>
> -




-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Anexsin <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Ties That Bind (epilouge)
Date: 06 Apr 1998 02:52:54 EDT

Title: The Ties That Bind (epilouge)
Author: Melinda Frango
Email Addy: [e-mail]
Rating: PG
Spoiler: All episodes before Passion.
Distribution: Ask first
Feedback: Greatly appreciated.
Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc.
Only the story is mine, and whatever characters never seen or mentioned
on the show.
Summary: Buffy and the gang get help from an unexpected source in
restoring Angel's soul.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
-One week later-

"So Buffs, is our undead friend supposed to show up?"
Xander questioned.

Xander, Cordelia, and Buffy were sitting at one of the tables
in the Bronze, while Willow and Oz were off dancing.

Buffy broke her longing gaze off of the entrance of the Bronze
to answer Xander.

"He said he'd be here," she answered with a grin.

"Well it's good to have him back," he commented.

Buffy stared at him with a look of confusion etched upon her face.

"What? There's no more Angelus running around trying to kill us,
and it's nice to see you happy again. Therefore I can deal with
dead boy," he pointed out.

Buffy shook her head at Xander's change in attitude towards Angel,
and chuckled slightly.

"Buffy," Willow called, as she approached the table with Oz in tow.
"Look who's here," she observed, as she pointed towards the entrance.

Buffy immediately knew who Willow was talking about, so when
she turned her head to where she was looking, she wasn't surprised
to see Angel making his way towards her. A wide smile spread
across both their features when their eyes locked, and everything
around them ceased to exist.

"Hi," she greeted, when he approached the table, giving him a
loving kiss on the lips.

"Hey," he replied, while taking a seat beside Buffy, and sneaking
her hand into his.

 He greeted the others, albeit awkwardly, and they returned it.
Things between the slayerettes and Angel had gotten better, but
they still felt uncomfortable around each other. Time was needed
to heal open wounds, and to regain the trust that was lost between
them when Angel reverted to his former self. However, the ties that
bind there friendship together will triumph in the end.

"Will you take a walk with me?" Angel asked Buffy after a few
moments of silence around the table.

Buffy smiled at him once again and nodded in agreement. She
stood up, and Angel helped her put on her jacket. Then he stood
as well. He headed over to the door, and waited patiently while
she talked to her friends. After Buffy said her goodbyes, she
hooked her arm through Angel's, and leaned her head against
his shoulder as the couple made their way out into the cool night air.
"I haven't seen her smile like that in a long time," Willow conceded.

"Yeah, it's good to see her happy, once again," Cordelia added.

"C'mon let's dance," Xander offered.

Oz, Willow, Xander, and Cordelia went out onto the dance floor,
and let themselves have some fun for the first time in weeks.


The End

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (6/?) by Ingrid
Date: 06 Apr 1998 03:23:01 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordy
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: Hee hee! Guess what! It's 3:20 AM right now,
and I'm not finished with half of the work I have to do (even
though I've been working all weekend). Somedays, you
just want to kill the guy who invented honors english!

 Welcome to my new story. This one might
be a tad difficult to understand at first, since it takes place
ten years into the future, and IÆm not telling you whatÆs
happened in advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time
goes on in the story. I love to get feedback, except when
my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you want
to get this, ask me for them!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Six: "Hello, Goodbye"
*********

"Hello?"

"Giles? ItÆs Buffy. I need your help."

"Buffy?" With the pronouncement, everything he had been
trying to deny rushed back at him with blinding force. He
dropped onto a chair, and remained silent. The seconds
clicked away.

"Giles?" The voice on the other end was different, but
somehow he would have known it anywhere.

"Yes. Buffy, how have you been?" His response was
polite, but strangely detached.

"Well, fine, up until recently. ThatÆs why I need your help.
It was so difficult to track this number down."

"What did you say the problem was?"

"I didnÆt. I was just getting to that."

"Oh."

"Giles, IÆve been having dreams."

"What?"

"Dreams."

"Dreams- like the slayer dreams?"

"Yeah, how did you-"

"With Spike, and Willow?"

"Yeah."

"And  Jenny and Ang-"

He stopped suddenly.

"No," Buffy answered, "Not with them."

"Buffy, IÆve beenà having dreams like those you spoke
of. I donÆt think itÆs a coincidence. I think you should call
Cordelia."

"Cordelia? But sheÆs got her own-"

"I think it would be important for her to know." He didnÆt
say anything else, and she wondered if he was still listening.

"Goodbye," her voice nervously flitted and died. She hung up,
stumbled purposelessly into the kitchen and crumpled into
AngelÆs arms.
******
END, PART 6. Some feedback each day keeps the badfic
away! ([e-mail])

Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short
ones). "Return to Normalcy," "One Vampire's Headache...,"
 "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance," "Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Daphne1784 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Homecoming Pt. 2/?
Date: 06 Apr 1998 18:43:12 EDT

Title: Homecoming Pt 2/?
Author: Aphrodite ( Just my pen name :P )
E-mail Addy: [e-mail]
Rating: It will vary so I will have them listed at the beginning of each part
Distribution: Sure just make sure you ask me first!
Summary:  This is going to be about Buffy/Angel mostly.
Spoilers: All the way up through "Killed by Death"
Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to the television show "Buffy the
Vampire Slayer," Joss Whedon, FOX, Mutant Enemy, and Warner Brothers. The
Story and all characters that I decide to create are mine. Don't sue!
Feedback: Please send me some feedback, good or bad, so that I will know if I
should continue to write it. Also this is my very first fanfic so I want to
know how I'm doing.


*********************************
Homecoming
Part Two
Rating
P.G.
By:
Aphrodite
*********************************


            After Buffy and the slayerettes left the library, Giles decided to
take a trip to the cemetery to visit Jenny's grave. When he got there, he
noticed some beautiful
lilacs had already been placed upon it. *I wonder who put those there?* Giles
thought, while he added his roses to them. He didn't notice the old lady
sitting on the bench a few graves away.

          "Jenny," he started, "I needed some closure. The way we were parted
so abruptly left us with some unresolved feelings. I shouldn't have been so
cold and insensitive to you. I know that it wasn't your fault that you
couldn't tell us about this.  I felt the same way about Eyghon. I know that
experience was terrible for you but in the end you were able to forgive me. So
I just wanted to say that I . . . forgive you."

                There. He had finally said it, and he had meant it with all of
his heart. He hoped that this would let Jenny's spirit rest a little easier.

      "You must be Giles," an elderly voice from behind him said. Startled he
quickly turned around and saw the old woman.

         "May I ask who you are and how you know me?" Giles asked
suspiciously.

       "Let's just say I'm a friend who is here to do a little . . . soul
searching," the woman replied, a small smile playing over her lips.

         After walking Willow to class Buffy decided to roam around school for
a while to clear her head. *At least it's daylight and I don't have to worry
about Angelus trying to attack me or my friends,* Buffy thought. No matter how
hard she tried not to think about him, good or evil, it seemed as if her whole
life revolved around him. "Why won't he just leave me alone?" Buffy pleaded to
no one in particular, desperately trying to hold back tears. It seemed besides
thinking about Angel, all she ever did was cry recently.

          Buffy stared at the ring on her finger. It was the ring that Angel
had given to her.  She could still remember their conversation at the docks.
The day he had given her the beautiful claddagh ring for her birthday. The
ring had meant a lot to her. It symbolized their whole relationship. She still
wore it every day, with the heart pointing toward her. It gave her hope, that
just maybe, her Angel would come back to her. *Yeah right,* Buffy thought,
bitterly.

         Angel had told her to wear the heart pointing toward her meaning that
she belonged to somebody. Well she didn't belong to anybody now. Angel was
gone and she was just going to have to accept that. She couldn't hold back the
tears any longer. Before running to the bathroom she turned the ring with the
heart pointing toward her fingertips.

End of Part Two


Feedback: PLEASE tell me what you think! It is essential to a writer's health
to have feedback, good or bad. Just send it my way!

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Kirstin" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Fallen (1/?)
Date: 06 Apr 1998 19:22:31 -0400

title: Fallen (1/1)
rating: strictly G or PG here.  nothing anybody can't read.
disclaimer: these characters are joss's, the wb's, mutant enemy's, anyone
else who has a valid claim that i don't know about's property.  they aren't
mine.  neither is the stuff from Gone . . ., Anya's story, which this is a
sequel to.  the ideas here, however, are mine.  please don't steal them
distribution: ask and ye shall receive.
feedback: pretty please with a cherry on top.
comments: mad props and thanks to all of the people who beta-read for me
and sent me nice comments last time i sent this.  Leslie, Taygeta,
Michelle, Divine1798, and hjrobert, you are the best humans ever!  i adore
you!  well, that's the cookies talkin', but you rock!  :)

There is no statute of limitations on forever, she told herself.  You told
him you love him.  You have to honor that.  But it was getting harder.  So
much had changed, in the month since he had left, in the weeks since she
had.  Things were completely different; she was completely different.  And
maybe somewhere inside she would always love him, but a different kind of
love than she used to think.  She had grown up with him, no matter how far
apart they were, they would always be best friends.  But she was beginning
to see that distance really did matter, and that it wouldn't mean that she
loved him less, if she let herself love someone else more.

    Buffy.  How could she do this to Buffy?  That was a completely different
issue.  She knew that Xander had never loved her the way she loved him.
She wasn't betraying him.  But she was betraying Buffy.  In such a short
time, the girls had grown so close.  Buffy had opened her eyes, shown her
things that she never knew existed.  Willow had grown up a lot through
their friendship, but she had grown even more when it ended.  There was no
way she could justify this.  It was nothing but betrayal.  Even though
Angel and Buffy had never let themselves get too close, Willow knew that
Buffy was in love.  How could she do that to her best friend, even if Buffy
and Angel would never see each other again?  How could she ignore what she
knew was right?

    But maybe Buffy and Angel weren't meant to be, Willow thought.  After all,
isn't he everything she is fighting against?  It never would have worked
out in the long run.  They couldn't have had a future.  A vampire and the
slayer, that's practically the definition of star-crossed.  Willow, on the
other hand, knew exactly what Angel went through.  She knew the bloodlust,
and the guilt after.  She knew what it was to be everything that she hated
in the world, and together maybe they could make things work out.  Maybe
they did have a chance . . .

    Angel doesn't even want me, Willow decided.  There is no way we have a
chance.  Just because I decided to be an awful person and turn against all
of my friends doesn't mean that he has.  He loves Buffy.  I am just a
friend.  He wouldn't even have come with me, but he probably wanted to
watch me in case I went full out vamp.  Giles just made him come along to
stake me if I started any problems.  That's all it is.

    But when he looks at me now, it's different.  Softer.  It's like he has
noticed that I'm changing too.  I'm not the girl I used to be.  I feel
older, a lot less naive.  And when I see myself, what little of myself I
can still see in the mirror, I look different too.  There's something there
that wasn't there before.  And I like it.  I think I'm finally starting to
see myself as beautiful.  And someday maybe I'll find someone to love me
like I love him . . . maybe someday Angel might fall in love with me, like
I'm falling in love with him.

*****

    This hadn't just started.  It wasn't like he woke up last week and
thought, hmm, maybe Willow.  And it wasn't just because Buffy was gone, or
because Willow was a vampire.  There was more to it.  In a way, it had
always been there.  He and Willow had always gotten along.  She was the one
to stick up for him.  And she had always been beautiful.  That was
definite.  But there was something new.  Something in the way that she
carried herself, something behind her eyes.  She looked older, wiser, and a
little more sure of herself.  In the middle of all of her problems, she had
really grown up and found herself.  Willow could always make the best of a
bad situation.  She was smart, and fun, and he loved being around her.  He
had always known that, too.  What he hadn't always known though, what he
was beginning to discover, was that he was falling in love with her, with
Willow.

    If he really thought about it, he had probably started to notice sometime
just before Buffy and Xander had gone on their respective vacations.  He,
Willow, Giles, Jenny, and Cordelia had thrown a makeshift goodbye party for
the departing Slayer and Slayerette.  He remembered one point in the
evening when he was alone with Willow, setting up for the party.  They were
getting out the cake, setting up plates and glasses, the usual pre-party
fare.  At some point in their stream of idle conversation, Willow said
something that made him take notice.

    "I can't believe they're going to be gone for so long!  Xander is leaving
tomorrow, and Buffy just a few days after.  I guess I'll get good at doing
research, since I'll be all alone for a month, I can catch up on my
prophecies or something.  Bye-bye hanging out and having fun," Willow said
sadly.

    "Don't worry Willow; I promise a lot of hanging out and having fun this
summer.  As long as 241 year old dead guys are your style," Angel answered
with a laugh.

    "I guess that could be included in my definition of fun," she said,
brightening up.  "Maybe we could go Bronzing sometimes?" she asked
hopefully.

    "Sure," he answered, "I'd love to dance with you."

    I wonder if she saw then what I saw, Angel thought.  I wonder if the same
forbidden thoughts were running through her mind then, and later.  We spent
so much time together.  By day, she was Giles' research girl, but at night,
she was mine.  Did she feel it too?  When we did the rounds at night, did
the same feelings tug at her soul as tugged at mine?  I just wanted to be
with her, all the time.  She had to know.  God, I was so obvious sometimes!
 I acted like a sixteen-year-old, not a 241-year vampire.  It's a good
thing that vampires don't sweat.  She would have noticed my damp palms
dancing at the Bronze.  I love holding her close like that, her tiny body
folded into mine.  It was all I could do not to kiss her then, even before
everything happened and I knew I would never see Buffy again.  Even if this
had never happened, I would have had to end things with Buffy when she got
back.  I wouldn't have approached Willow, I couldn't put that strain on
their friendship, but I also couldn't allow myself to lead Buffy on like
that.  I knew even then that she wasn't the one I loved.
When Willow didn't answer my call the night they got her, I was trapped in
fear.  I ran through the city, looking everywhere I thought she might be.
Finally, I reached the Anointed One's lair.  I remember her, lying on the
ground.  She was passed out, sick.  She was so cold when I picked her up.
What if she had been dead?  Well, in a way, she was dead.  The fear raced
through me.  Thank god Giles was home when I got there.  He found a pulse,
a quiet low pulse.  So we waited.  I think he might have known how I feel
about her.  He could see it.

    I know that there is nothing for her in Europe.  There are no Rom to cure
her.  She is what she is forever.  I think Giles knows that too, but
neither of us could tell Willow.  This is her last hope.  Maybe there is
something there though, something that will reassure her, even if it won't
cure her.  She has a lot of fighting to do.  Together though, I know we can
get through it.  I can help her control her urges, and she can help me with
mine.  We're good for each other.  Sunnydale was bad for both of us.
That's why I filled her head with hopes of an anchor for her soul.  In
Sunnydale, she would have driven a stake into her heart eventually, or
forced Buffy to do it for her.  She couldn't have handled being what she
was, a Slayerette who should have been one of the slain.  Giles and I knew
that to keep her alive, we had to keep her away from home.  And so we're
going to Europe.  We're going together.  I hope that someday, we can truly
be together.  Maybe someday Willow might fall in love with me, like I've
fallen in love with her.







-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Kirstin" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Fallen (1/?)
Date: 06 Apr 1998 19:22:31 -0400

title: Fallen (1/1)
rating: strictly G or PG here.  nothing anybody can't read.
disclaimer: these characters are joss's, the wb's, mutant enemy's, anyone
else who has a valid claim that i don't know about's property.  they aren't
mine.  neither is the stuff from Gone . . ., Anya's story, which this is a
sequel to.  the ideas here, however, are mine.  please don't steal them
distribution: ask and ye shall receive.
feedback: pretty please with a cherry on top.
comments: mad props and thanks to all of the people who beta-read for me
and sent me nice comments last time i sent this.  Leslie, Taygeta,
Michelle, Divine1798, and hjrobert, you are the best humans ever!  i adore
you!  well, that's the cookies talkin', but you rock!  :)

There is no statute of limitations on forever, she told herself.  You told
him you love him.  You have to honor that.  But it was getting harder.  So
much had changed, in the month since he had left, in the weeks since she
had.  Things were completely different; she was completely different.  And
maybe somewhere inside she would always love him, but a different kind of
love than she used to think.  She had grown up with him, no matter how far
apart they were, they would always be best friends.  But she was beginning
to see that distance really did matter, and that it wouldn't mean that she
loved him less, if she let herself love someone else more.

    Buffy.  How could she do this to Buffy?  That was a completely different
issue.  She knew that Xander had never loved her the way she loved him.
She wasn't betraying him.  But she was betraying Buffy.  In such a short
time, the girls had grown so close.  Buffy had opened her eyes, shown her
things that she never knew existed.  Willow had grown up a lot through
their friendship, but she had grown even more when it ended.  There was no
way she could justify this.  It was nothing but betrayal.  Even though
Angel and Buffy had never let themselves get too close, Willow knew that
Buffy was in love.  How could she do that to her best friend, even if Buffy
and Angel would never see each other again?  How could she ignore what she
knew was right?

    But maybe Buffy and Angel weren't meant to be, Willow thought.  After all,
isn't he everything she is fighting against?  It never would have worked
out in the long run.  They couldn't have had a future.  A vampire and the
slayer, that's practically the definition of star-crossed.  Willow, on the
other hand, knew exactly what Angel went through.  She knew the bloodlust,
and the guilt after.  She knew what it was to be everything that she hated
in the world, and together maybe they could make things work out.  Maybe
they did have a chance . . .

    Angel doesn't even want me, Willow decided.  There is no way we have a
chance.  Just because I decided to be an awful person and turn against all
of my friends doesn't mean that he has.  He loves Buffy.  I am just a
friend.  He wouldn't even have come with me, but he probably wanted to
watch me in case I went full out vamp.  Giles just made him come along to
stake me if I started any problems.  That's all it is.

    But when he looks at me now, it's different.  Softer.  It's like he has
noticed that I'm changing too.  I'm not the girl I used to be.  I feel
older, a lot less naive.  And when I see myself, what little of myself I
can still see in the mirror, I look different too.  There's something there
that wasn't there before.  And I like it.  I think I'm finally starting to
see myself as beautiful.  And someday maybe I'll find someone to love me
like I love him . . . maybe someday Angel might fall in love with me, like
I'm falling in love with him.

*****

    This hadn't just started.  It wasn't like he woke up last week and
thought, hmm, maybe Willow.  And it wasn't just because Buffy was gone, or
because Willow was a vampire.  There was more to it.  In a way, it had
always been there.  He and Willow had always gotten along.  She was the one
to stick up for him.  And she had always been beautiful.  That was
definite.  But there was something new.  Something in the way that she
carried herself, something behind her eyes.  She looked older, wiser, and a
little more sure of herself.  In the middle of all of her problems, she had
really grown up and found herself.  Willow could always make the best of a
bad situation.  She was smart, and fun, and he loved being around her.  He
had always known that, too.  What he hadn't always known though, what he
was beginning to discover, was that he was falling in love with her, with
Willow.

    If he really thought about it, he had probably started to notice sometime
just before Buffy and Xander had gone on their respective vacations.  He,
Willow, Giles, Jenny, and Cordelia had thrown a makeshift goodbye party for
the departing Slayer and Slayerette.  He remembered one point in the
evening when he was alone with Willow, setting up for the party.  They were
getting out the cake, setting up plates and glasses, the usual pre-party
fare.  At some point in their stream of idle conversation, Willow said
something that made him take notice.

    "I can't believe they're going to be gone for so long!  Xander is leaving
tomorrow, and Buffy just a few days after.  I guess I'll get good at doing
research, since I'll be all alone for a month, I can catch up on my
prophecies or something.  Bye-bye hanging out and having fun," Willow said
sadly.

    "Don't worry Willow; I promise a lot of hanging out and having fun this
summer.  As long as 241 year old dead guys are your style," Angel answered
with a laugh.

    "I guess that could be included in my definition of fun," she said,
brightening up.  "Maybe we could go Bronzing sometimes?" she asked
hopefully.

    "Sure," he answered, "I'd love to dance with you."

    I wonder if she saw then what I saw, Angel thought.  I wonder if the same
forbidden thoughts were running through her mind then, and later.  We spent
so much time together.  By day, she was Giles' research girl, but at night,
she was mine.  Did she feel it too?  When we did the rounds at night, did
the same feelings tug at her soul as tugged at mine?  I just wanted to be
with her, all the time.  She had to know.  God, I was so obvious sometimes!
 I acted like a sixteen-year-old, not a 241-year vampire.  It's a good
thing that vampires don't sweat.  She would have noticed my damp palms
dancing at the Bronze.  I love holding her close like that, her tiny body
folded into mine.  It was all I could do not to kiss her then, even before
everything happened and I knew I would never see Buffy again.  Even if this
had never happened, I would have had to end things with Buffy when she got
back.  I wouldn't have approached Willow, I couldn't put that strain on
their friendship, but I also couldn't allow myself to lead Buffy on like
that.  I knew even then that she wasn't the one I loved.
When Willow didn't answer my call the night they got her, I was trapped in
fear.  I ran through the city, looking everywhere I thought she might be.
Finally, I reached the Anointed One's lair.  I remember her, lying on the
ground.  She was passed out, sick.  She was so cold when I picked her up.
What if she had been dead?  Well, in a way, she was dead.  The fear raced
through me.  Thank god Giles was home when I got there.  He found a pulse,
a quiet low pulse.  So we waited.  I think he might have known how I feel
about her.  He could see it.

    I know that there is nothing for her in Europe.  There are no Rom to cure
her.  She is what she is forever.  I think Giles knows that too, but
neither of us could tell Willow.  This is her last hope.  Maybe there is
something there though, something that will reassure her, even if it won't
cure her.  She has a lot of fighting to do.  Together though, I know we can
get through it.  I can help her control her urges, and she can help me with
mine.  We're good for each other.  Sunnydale was bad for both of us.
That's why I filled her head with hopes of an anchor for her soul.  In
Sunnydale, she would have driven a stake into her heart eventually, or
forced Buffy to do it for her.  She couldn't have handled being what she
was, a Slayerette who should have been one of the slain.  Giles and I knew
that to keep her alive, we had to keep her away from home.  And so we're
going to Europe.  We're going together.  I hope that someday, we can truly
be together.  Maybe someday Willow might fall in love with me, like I've
fallen in love with her.







-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  (41/45)
Date: 06 Apr 1998 17:26:43 PDT


Author:  Sara B.  [e-mail]
Rating:   Varies...will be posted at beginning of each part.
Disclaimer:  Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its characters, yada yada yada
belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, WB, and Fox.... I'm just
borrowing them, (although I wish Angel was mine!)  Everything else
belongs to me!
Author's note:  This is your usual generic story.  Angel is still good,
so basically in my story surprise/innocence didn't happen.  Willow and
Oz are together, and Xander and Cordy are still hiding their secret
utility closet rondevu's. This is going to be a long story, and will
take some time so be patient with me.  I'm not very good at story
telling, so if this totally sucks and isn't read-worthy, just let me
know.Oh yeah, and I want feedback, feedback, and more feedback.  I don't
care if it's good or bad, just tell me what you thought of it.




Part 41   PG-13   Fighting scenes

Hope stared into the cold eyes of Angel.  He smirked as Joyce was near
hysterics.

Joyce sobbed.  ôBuffy!  He is going to kill you!  You have to get out of
here!ö

Hope looked at Joyce.  < Even she thinks IÆm Buffy >  ôItÆs okay, Joyce.
He isnÆt going to kill me.ö

Joyce sat up straight, a confused expression formed on her face.  Hope
looked at Angel.  ôYou are quite the unobservant one.ö

ôWhatÆs that supposed to mean?ö  He growled.  His face changed into his
demonic form.

ôYouÆll find out in good time,ö she answered.

ôYou know, IÆm getting sick of this small talk,ö Angel said, advancing
toward her.

Hope sniffed the air.  ôDo you smell that?ö  She asked, looking behind
Angel.

ôSmell what?ö  He growled.

ôI smell Sex and Candy,ö she said.  Angel looked at her, confused.  He
turned around to see what was behind him.

Hope looked up and saw an old rafter that used to be part of the church.
Grabbing it, she swung with both feet into his back, making him fly
forward onto his face.  ôYou know?  The song?ö  He swiftly stood up and
before he could react, she kicked his face with a roundhouse, and
followed up with several punches and another kick.  Angel grabbed her by
the throat and lifted her into the air, choking her.

ôDeja vu,ö he whispered.  Hope smiled and grabbed his arm.  She swung
her feet high into the air, grabbing his head between her legs.  With a
quick twist, he landed on the ground, letting go of her neck.
Angel scrambled to his feet, and lunged at her.  Hope ducked, and pushed
him into the hard rock wall.
She grabbed an old piece of wood from the ground and used it as a shield
as Angel tried to punch her.
Hope hit him over the head with it.  He fell to his knee, but got back
up.  She hit him with it again and he fell to his other knee, but
quickly got up again.  She hit him a third time and he staggered again.
Angel grabbed the wood from her and hit her in the side with it, causing
her to stumble sideways.   She gave him a hard punch to the face, and
tried again, but he blocked it and hit her in the face, sending her into
the wall behind her.  Barely phased, she kicked him in the face as he
tried to grab her.  He swung at her, but missed.  She punched him in the
gut.  She swung again, but he blocked her punch, and back handed her
hard.  She landed on the ground with a thud.

Hope scrambled to her feet, and stood in her fighters position.  Angel
stood a few feet away from her, doing the same.  Both staring each other
down, not wanting to lose eye contact.  Hope did a flip over Angel,
landing behind him.  She kicked him with all of her might, and he lunged
forward, crashing into a column.  It toppled over, breaking to pieces as
it hit the ground.  The candles on top of it fell into the pond.

He got back up and grabbed her, throwing her across the room.  She
landed against the wall with a thud, then fell to the ground.  She
forced herself to stand up, despite the pain in her body.  Angel stared
at her, his eyes growing wide with immense Anger.

ôYour not Buffy,ö he hissed, baring his yellow fangs.

Hope smiled.  ôI told you you were unobservant.ö  Angel advanced toward
her and grabbed her by the neck.  He lifted her body up high in the air
and threw her at the wall with all of his strength.  HopeÆs head
collided with the hard rock and she was knocked unconscious.  An ominous
laugh emerged from Angel as he stared at her limp figure.  He bent down
to grab her but stopped to hear a loud wail emerge from the doorway.

He looked up to see Xander and Giles staring at him and Hope.  He stood
up and grabbed Xander, slamming him into the wall.  ôYou shouldnÆt have
come here, boy,ö Angel snarled, his yellow eyes glaring.  ôBut hey, I
guess this means I donÆt have to hunt you down,ö he laughed, leaning his
mouth into XanderÆs neck.

ôLet him go, dead boy,ö a voice called from the passageway.  Xander and
Angel looked to see Buffy standing behind him.  The vampire dropped the
boy and turned to face the Slayer.  She pulled out a stake from her back
and tapped it gently in her palm.

ôYou shouldnÆt have tricked me,ö Angel said.

ôAnd you shouldnÆt try to kill my friends,ö she said, and swung at him.
He ducked it quickly, and laughed.  She tried a direct thrust, which
Angel just pushed aside, but she followed it up with a punch to the face
from her other hand and used her momentum to spin around for a
roundhouse kick, knocking him down.  Buffy charged at him with the stake
held above her head in both hands.  He blocked her charge with his arms
and twisted her arms down, forcing her to drop the stake, and shoved her
into a wall.  He tried to knock her legs out from under her, but her
footing was firm and she kicked him in the back, knocking him down
instead.  Once down he tried kicking again and this time made her fall.
She grabbed his hair, pulled him up a bit and kicked him in the face.
They both scrambled to their feet.  Angel swung and missed.  He swung
the other way, but she blocked it and punched him three times in the gut
and then a right hook to his jaw.

Buffy and Angel stood, staring at each other.  Both were tired, but were
in no mood to quit fighting.  She looked into his eyes, searching for
his lost soul,  trying not to remember that he was Angel, that he was
her love.

ôWhat happened to you, Angel?ö  She dared to ask him.

He smiled.  ôThe best thing possible,ö he sneered.  ôIÆm the Master.
And your dead,ö he said, and lunged at her.  He grabbed her hair and
pulled her toward him.  She kicked him in the stomach, and dug her
fingernails into his hand.  He released his grip on her and held his
hand out in front of him.  Opening his palm, he froze her body and her
mind.  Twisting his hand, she slowly walked toward him, not in control
of her body.  <Oh God.  ItÆs happening again > Her mind flashed back to
the Master.  < Move Buffy! > She screamed at her self.  Frozen with
fear, she watched Angel stand behind her, gently grabbing her shoulders.

ôItÆs too bad it has to end this way,ö  Angel said, laughing.  ôBut IÆm
sure glad it did.  I really give you kudos for trying, though.ö  He
brushed her hair from her neck and slowly lowered his mouth to her neck.
Buffy panted hard with fear.  She could feel his hot breath on her neck.
He gently pierced her skin, drawing a hint of blood.  As he gently took
a sip, Hope slowly awakened.  She stared at the image in front of her,
trying to clear her head.

< This canÆt be happening > She thought, and her vision focused on Angel
sucking the life out of Buffy.  Hope watched in horror, struggling to
get up.  Giles ran toward Angel, but the vampire put his hand up and
opened his palm.  The WatcherÆs body flung backwards and hit the wall.
Giles groaned in pain.

< I love you, Angel > Buffy thought, as her head began to feel light.
She slowly opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out.  Angel fed
from Buffy, drinking her blood, savoring the taste of the warm liquid on
his tounge.  Her eyes slowly closed.  Her skin grew pale and her body
slumped in his grip.  Angel, BuffyÆs only love, dropped her lifeless
body on the ground.  He licked his lips and looked at her three friendÆs
horrified faces and gloated.



______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  (45/45)
Date: 06 Apr 1998 17:33:00 PDT

Author:  Sara B.  [e-mail]
Rating:   Varies...will be posted at beginning of each part.
Disclaimer:  Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its characters, yada yada yada
belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, WB, and Fox.... I'm just
borrowing them, (although I wish Angel was mine!)  Everything else
belongs to me!
Author's note:  This is your usual generic story.  Angel is still good,
so basically in my story surprise/innocence didn't happen.  Willow and
Oz are together, and Xander and Cordy are still hiding their secret
utility closet rondevu's. This is going to be a long story, and will
take some time so be patient with me.  I'm not very good at story
telling, so if this totally sucks and isn't read-worthy, just let me
know.Oh yeah, and I want feedback, feedback, and more feedback.  I don't
care if it's good or bad, just tell me what you thought of it.

Part 45    PG

Giles sat in his living room, replaying the conversation with HopeÆs
parents over and over in his head.  He couldnÆt stop thinking about it.
< This is truly amazing.  GayleÆs great grandfather had been a Watcher,
and her grandmotherÆs great aunt was a Slayer >  He rubbed his aching
temples and gulped down a large glass of water.  < They knew about the
prophecy all along.  Hope was destined to save Angel, and was also
destined to die >

< Then she disappeared.  Right in XanderÆs arms >

It was an amazing thing for Giles to see.  In his lifetime, he had come
across many odd and unnatural beings, but never had a mortal just
disappear.  But then, Hope wasnÆt a mortal.

*There is something you donÆt know about Hope* Gayle said.
*What?  What is it?* Giles asked.
*She is immortal.*

Giles had been so shocked at this information he had nearly fallen off
the sofa.  Hope was immortal.  An immortal Slayer.  If she hadnÆt risked
her own life to save AngelÆs, she would have died.  It was the goodness
in her that gave her immortality.

< Well all thought she had died.  Buffy wept for her...her feeling of
guilt is overwhelming.  She will be so happy to find Hope is alive >
The smile on GilesÆ face turned into a frown.  < Or will she?  Will her
mourning over Angel affect her greatly?  Will she be able to continue
her slaying abilities? >

He began to feel distress over this, worrying that Buffy would be too
grief stricken to deal with anything.
< Her love for Angel was never questionable.  Her feelings were loud and
clear.  She loved him with all of her heart and soul.  Poor Buffy, she
is too young to have to deal with this...to young to have so much
responsibility >

Giles stood up and walked to his window.  Pulling back his curtains, he
stared into the night sky.  < So much has happened in the past two days.
All our lives have been changed.  Forever.  Will Buffy be able to get
past his death?  She is incredibly strong for her age.  A maturity well
beyond her sixteen years.  Out of all the slayers I have read about, she
has been the most incredible of them all.  She survived death, the most
dangerous opponent of all.  The one thing that Buffy canÆt fight >

Giles took a deep breath and sauntered away from the window.  He turned
off the lights and locked his door, breathing a sigh of relief at the
fact that vampires couldnÆt come in unless they were invited.  He walked
to his bedroom, and changed into a pair of pajamas.  Slipping beneath
the covers of his bed, he pulled out his Watcher diary and wrote about
the past two dayÆs events.

*****


ôGoodnight, Mom.  I love you,ö Buffy said to Joyce before entering her
room.  Angel trailed close behind at her feet.

ôGoodnight, Buffy.  I love you too.  Sleep tight...donÆt let the bed
bugs bite,ö Joyce said from the hall.

Buffy laughed.  ôMore like donÆt let the vampires bite.ö

Joyce raised her eyebrow.  ôAre you sure vampireÆs canÆt come in unless
they are invited?ö

ôPositive,ö Buffy replied.  ôSo donÆt invite anyone in the house after
dark.  That is unless I am here.ö

Nodding, Joyce walked to her bedroom.  ôSweet dreams, IÆll see you in
the morning.  Goodnight, Angel.ö

Angel meowed loudly, and Buffy smiled.  ôThanks for letting me keep
him,ö she said.

ôYour welcome,ö she responded, grinning in joy at her daughterÆs
seemingly happy mood.  < If that little kitten makes her feel better,
than he is more than welcome! >

Buffy closed her bedroom door.  She walked to her closet and changed
into boxers and a T-shirt.  Angel hopped up onto her bed, curling up on
a cozy blanket.  Buffy took off her necklace and rings, placing them
next to her bed.  She strolled over to her window, and ran her fingers
along the sill.  ôGood-bye, Angel,ö she whispered, closing her curtains.

Picking up the leather jacket he gave her, she pulled back the covers
and crawled into bed.  Angel stirred and bounced to her, nudging her
face.  She let him cozy up to her.  Buffy watched the kitten bathe
himself, and smiled.

Rolling over onto her back, she pulled her comforter up to her neck.
Buffy sighed heavily.  ôIÆm going to miss you so much,ö she whispered,
letting the tears flow freely from her eyes.  She sniffled, feeling her
empty heart tighten.  She grasped the jacket tightly, weeping...her
tears wetting her face and pillow.  Closing her eyes, she imagined him.
His smile, his laugh, his smell, his voice, his eyes.

Before long, her body relaxed and her weeping stopped.  The tight grip
she had on her jacket lessened as she drifted off into a deep sleep,
into a dream world were she and her love could be together for eternity.

Angel sat up, and hopped off BuffyÆs bed.  He trotted across her floor
to her window.  Jumping up onto the sill, he sat, watching the Slayer
sleep.  Her small body illuminated by the soft light of the moon.

He watched over her protectively...as he had done so many times before.


EL FIN

FEEDBACK FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!!  PRETTY PLEASE?!?!?!?!!!

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  (45/45)
Date: 06 Apr 1998 17:33:00 PDT

Author:  Sara B.  [e-mail]
Rating:   Varies...will be posted at beginning of each part.
Disclaimer:  Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its characters, yada yada yada
belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, WB, and Fox.... I'm just
borrowing them, (although I wish Angel was mine!)  Everything else
belongs to me!
Author's note:  This is your usual generic story.  Angel is still good,
so basically in my story surprise/innocence didn't happen.  Willow and
Oz are together, and Xander and Cordy are still hiding their secret
utility closet rondevu's. This is going to be a long story, and will
take some time so be patient with me.  I'm not very good at story
telling, so if this totally sucks and isn't read-worthy, just let me
know.Oh yeah, and I want feedback, feedback, and more feedback.  I don't
care if it's good or bad, just tell me what you thought of it.

Part 45    PG

Giles sat in his living room, replaying the conversation with HopeÆs
parents over and over in his head.  He couldnÆt stop thinking about it.
< This is truly amazing.  GayleÆs great grandfather had been a Watcher,
and her grandmotherÆs great aunt was a Slayer >  He rubbed his aching
temples and gulped down a large glass of water.  < They knew about the
prophecy all along.  Hope was destined to save Angel, and was also
destined to die >

< Then she disappeared.  Right in XanderÆs arms >

It was an amazing thing for Giles to see.  In his lifetime, he had come
across many odd and unnatural beings, but never had a mortal just
disappear.  But then, Hope wasnÆt a mortal.

*There is something you donÆt know about Hope* Gayle said.
*What?  What is it?* Giles asked.
*She is immortal.*

Giles had been so shocked at this information he had nearly fallen off
the sofa.  Hope was immortal.  An immortal Slayer.  If she hadnÆt risked
her own life to save AngelÆs, she would have died.  It was the goodness
in her that gave her immortality.

< Well all thought she had died.  Buffy wept for her...her feeling of
guilt is overwhelming.  She will be so happy to find Hope is alive >
The smile on GilesÆ face turned into a frown.  < Or will she?  Will her
mourning over Angel affect her greatly?  Will she be able to continue
her slaying abilities? >

He began to feel distress over this, worrying that Buffy would be too
grief stricken to deal with anything.
< Her love for Angel was never questionable.  Her feelings were loud and
clear.  She loved him with all of her heart and soul.  Poor Buffy, she
is too young to have to deal with this...to young to have so much
responsibility >

Giles stood up and walked to his window.  Pulling back his curtains, he
stared into the night sky.  < So much has happened in the past two days.
All our lives have been changed.  Forever.  Will Buffy be able to get
past his death?  She is incredibly strong for her age.  A maturity well
beyond her sixteen years.  Out of all the slayers I have read about, she
has been the most incredible of them all.  She survived death, the most
dangerous opponent of all.  The one thing that Buffy canÆt fight >

Giles took a deep breath and sauntered away from the window.  He turned
off the lights and locked his door, breathing a sigh of relief at the
fact that vampires couldnÆt come in unless they were invited.  He walked
to his bedroom, and changed into a pair of pajamas.  Slipping beneath
the covers of his bed, he pulled out his Watcher diary and wrote about
the past two dayÆs events.

*****


ôGoodnight, Mom.  I love you,ö Buffy said to Joyce before entering her
room.  Angel trailed close behind at her feet.

ôGoodnight, Buffy.  I love you too.  Sleep tight...donÆt let the bed
bugs bite,ö Joyce said from the hall.

Buffy laughed.  ôMore like donÆt let the vampires bite.ö

Joyce raised her eyebrow.  ôAre you sure vampireÆs canÆt come in unless
they are invited?ö

ôPositive,ö Buffy replied.  ôSo donÆt invite anyone in the house after
dark.  That is unless I am here.ö

Nodding, Joyce walked to her bedroom.  ôSweet dreams, IÆll see you in
the morning.  Goodnight, Angel.ö

Angel meowed loudly, and Buffy smiled.  ôThanks for letting me keep
him,ö she said.

ôYour welcome,ö she responded, grinning in joy at her daughterÆs
seemingly happy mood.  < If that little kitten makes her feel better,
than he is more than welcome! >

Buffy closed her bedroom door.  She walked to her closet and changed
into boxers and a T-shirt.  Angel hopped up onto her bed, curling up on
a cozy blanket.  Buffy took off her necklace and rings, placing them
next to her bed.  She strolled over to her window, and ran her fingers
along the sill.  ôGood-bye, Angel,ö she whispered, closing her curtains.

Picking up the leather jacket he gave her, she pulled back the covers
and crawled into bed.  Angel stirred and bounced to her, nudging her
face.  She let him cozy up to her.  Buffy watched the kitten bathe
himself, and smiled.

Rolling over onto her back, she pulled her comforter up to her neck.
Buffy sighed heavily.  ôIÆm going to miss you so much,ö she whispered,
letting the tears flow freely from her eyes.  She sniffled, feeling her
empty heart tighten.  She grasped the jacket tightly, weeping...her
tears wetting her face and pillow.  Closing her eyes, she imagined him.
His smile, his laugh, his smell, his voice, his eyes.

Before long, her body relaxed and her weeping stopped.  The tight grip
she had on her jacket lessened as she drifted off into a deep sleep,
into a dream world were she and her love could be together for eternity.

Angel sat up, and hopped off BuffyÆs bed.  He trotted across her floor
to her window.  Jumping up onto the sill, he sat, watching the Slayer
sleep.  Her small body illuminated by the soft light of the moon.

He watched over her protectively...as he had done so many times before.


EL FIN

FEEDBACK FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!!  PRETTY PLEASE?!?!?!?!!!

______________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  (45/45)
Date: 06 Apr 1998 17:33:00 PDT

Author:  Sara B.  [e-mail]
Rating:   Varies...will be posted at beginning of each part.
Disclaimer:  Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its characters, yada yada yada
belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, WB, and Fox.... I'm just
borrowing them, (although I wish Angel was mine!)  Everything else
belongs to me!
Author's note:  This is your usual generic story.  Angel is still good,
so basically in my story surprise/innocence didn't happen.  Willow and
Oz are together, and Xander and Cordy are still hiding their secret
utility closet rondevu's. This is going to be a long story, and will
take some time so be patient with me.  I'm not very good at story
telling, so if this totally sucks and isn't read-worthy, just let me
know.Oh yeah, and I want feedback, feedback, and more feedback.  I don't
care if it's good or bad, just tell me what you thought of it.

Part 45    PG

Giles sat in his living room, replaying the conversation with HopeÆs
parents over and over in his head.  He couldnÆt stop thinking about it.
< This is truly amazing.  GayleÆs great grandfather had been a Watcher,
and her grandmotherÆs great aunt was a Slayer >  He rubbed his aching
temples and gulped down a large glass of water.  < They knew about the
prophecy all along.  Hope was destined to save Angel, and was also
destined to die >

< Then she disappeared.  Right in XanderÆs arms >

It was an amazing thing for Giles to see.  In his lifetime, he had come
across many odd and unnatural beings, but never had a mortal just
disappear.  But then, Hope wasnÆt a mortal.

*There is something you donÆt know about Hope* Gayle said.
*What?  What is it?* Giles asked.
*She is immortal.*

Giles had been so shocked at this information he had nearly fallen off
the sofa.  Hope was immortal.  An immortal Slayer.  If she hadnÆt risked
her own life to save AngelÆs, she would have died.  It was the goodness
in her that gave her immortality.

< Well all thought she had died.  Buffy wept for her...her feeling of
guilt is overwhelming.  She will be so happy to find Hope is alive >
The smile on GilesÆ face turned into a frown.  < Or will she?  Will her
mourning over Angel affect her greatly?  Will she be able to continue
her slaying abilities? >

He began to feel distress over this, worrying that Buffy would be too
grief stricken to deal with anything.
< Her love for Angel was never questionable.  Her feelings were loud and
clear.  She loved him with all of her heart and soul.  Poor Buffy, she
is too young to have to deal with this...to young to have so much
responsibility >

Giles stood up and walked to his window.  Pulling back his curtains, he
stared into the night sky.  < So much has happened in the past two days.
All our lives have been changed.  Forever.  Will Buffy be able to get
past his death?  She is incredibly strong for her age.  A maturity well
beyond her sixteen years.  Out of all the slayers I have read about, she
has been the most incredible of them all.  She survived death, the most
dangerous opponent of all.  The one thing that Buffy canÆt fight >

Giles took a deep breath and sauntered away from the window.  He turned
off the lights and locked his door, breathing a sigh of relief at the
fact that vampires couldnÆt come in unless they were invited.  He walked
to his bedroom, and changed into a pair of pajamas.  Slipping beneath
the covers of his bed, he pulled out his Watcher diary and wrote about
the past two dayÆs events.

*****


ôGoodnight, Mom.  I love you,ö Buffy said to Joyce before entering her
room.  Angel trailed close behind at her feet.

ôGoodnight, Buffy.  I love you too.  Sleep tight...donÆt let the bed
bugs bite,ö Joyce said from the hall.

Buffy laughed.  ôMore like donÆt let the vampires bite.ö

Joyce raised her eyebrow.  ôAre you sure vampireÆs canÆt come in unless
they are invited?ö

ôPositive,ö Buffy replied.  ôSo donÆt invite anyone in the house after
dark.  That is unless I am here.ö

Nodding, Joyce walked to her bedroom.  ôSweet dreams, IÆll see you in
the morning.  Goodnight, Angel.ö

Angel meowed loudly, and Buffy smiled.  ôThanks for letting me keep
him,ö she said.

ôYour welcome,ö she responded, grinning in joy at her daughterÆs
seemingly happy mood.  < If that little kitten makes her feel better,
than he is more than welcome! >

Buffy closed her bedroom door.  She walked to her closet and changed
into boxers and a T-shirt.  Angel hopped up onto her bed, curling up on
a cozy blanket.  Buffy took off her necklace and rings, placing them
next to her bed.  She strolled over to her window, and ran her fingers
along the sill.  ôGood-bye, Angel,ö she whispered, closing her curtains.

Picking up the leather jacket he gave her, she pulled back the covers
and crawled into bed.  Angel stirred and bounced to her, nudging her
face.  She let him cozy up to her.  Buffy watched the kitten bathe
himself, and smiled.

Rolling over onto her back, she pulled her comforter up to her neck.
Buffy sighed heavily.  ôIÆm going to miss you so much,ö she whispered,
letting the tears flow freely from her eyes.  She sniffled, feeling her
empty heart tighten.  She grasped the jacket tightly, weeping...her
tears wetting her face and pillow.  Closing her eyes, she imagined him.
His smile, his laugh, his smell, his voice, his eyes.

Before long, her body relaxed and her weeping stopped.  The tight grip
she had on her jacket lessened as she drifted off into a deep sleep,
into a dream world were she and her love could be together for eternity.

Angel sat up, and hopped off BuffyÆs bed.  He trotted across her floor
to her window.  Jumping up onto the sill, he sat, watching the Slayer
sleep.  Her small body illuminated by the soft light of the moon.

He watched over her protectively...as he had done so many times before.


EL FIN

FEEDBACK FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!!  PRETTY PLEASE?!?!?!?!!!

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: My Moira (2/?)
Date: 06 Apr 1998 23:44:18 -0700

Title: My Moira (2/?)
Author: Taygeta
E-mail: [e-mail]
Feedback: It's new and I really need the thoughts, so please send.
Distribution: Anywhere you think appropriate, but please tell me first.
Spoiler: Not really
Description: Twenty years into the future, 'nuff said.
Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.
Rating: PG, just kissing.
***************************
My Moira (2/?)
By: Taygeta

    Xander thought about Buffy, and thought how she hadn't changed.
She was still the outspoken, wonderful, and beautiful person that he had
first set his eyes upon that one day during sophomore year.  She had been
released from her duties as a slayer about two years after they had
closed the Hellmouth, and he remembered the smile on her face and the
relief she had expressed from her triumph and most all her freedom.
    The last twenty-odd years had been so peaceful and had flown by
so quickly that it amazed Xander.  He had watched Moira grow from a tiny
babe in his arms to a strong and capable young woman.  Every time he
looked into her eyes, he saw so much of Buffy and so much of himself,
that it made him proud to call her is own.
    Xander turned around when he heard the door open, and Buffy
walked in, dressed in a pair of jeans and a tee shirt.  She eyed him with
a smile and Xander reluctantly climbed out of bed.  He walked by her and
gave her a kiss on the cheek.
    "It was time you got up, sleepyhead," said Buffy with a sigh,
"Willow, Oz, and Giles are going to be here, any second."
    "Oh, is Aunt Willow going to bring her new baby with her?" asked
Moira hopefully, "He's such a cutie!"
    "Yes, she is, but you, young lady have to be in school in about
twenty minutes," said Buffy glancing at the diamond and gold watch that
Xander had gotten for her for their fifteenth anniversary.  "So, you
better get a move on."
    "Yes, Mom," said Moira with a sigh before she gave her mother a
kiss and then her father before she headed downstairs, "Bye, Dad."
    "I'm still not use to you telling our daughter not to be late for
school," said Xander as he heard the front door shut.  "I mean, this is
coming from Buffy, Sunnydale's least present student."
    "That was then, and this is now," said Buffy with a sigh,
"Twenty-years can change a person a lot."
    "Not you, Buffy, you haven't changed one...little...bit," said
Xander giving her a kiss on the tip of her nose.
    She looked at him and said, "Is that so, Alexander Harris?  So,
you're telling me that I still act the same and *look* the same as I did
when I was seventeen?"
    Xander paused and knew that he had just fallen into one of those
answer traps, and he had learned over the years exactly what to say, "You
still act the same, yes, but..."
    "Xander..." Buffy said cautiously.
    He whispered softly in her ear, "Buffy, you're more beautiful to
me every day, inside and out."
    Buffy and Xander looked into each other's eyes for a second, not
speaking, yet still speaking at the same time.  Their silent words were
cut short, when they heard the screaming of Willow's precious little boy.
    Buffy slid out of Xander's grasp and said, as she eyed her
husband, who was still in his boxers, "Duty calls, so get dressed."
    Xander reluctantly walked back to their room, but he caught her
last sentence, "Not that I mind if you didn't get dressed..."
    "Where's the little terror?"  Buffy asked as she walked down the
steps to greet Willow and Oz.  When she took a hold of the baby, it began
to coo as she said softly, "Oh, little Giles Xander Rosenberg-Osgoode,
you're such a cute-pie, even if your parents didn't know what the heck
they were doing when they named you."
    "Thank you, Buffy," said Willow sarcastically with a smile.
    "Willow, Hon, the next time you decide to name your next child,
just give her or him a simple name, not Giles Xander Rosenberg-Osgoode!"
said Buffy turning to look at Willow and then she returned to the baby.
"I'm just going to call you little Oz.  Big Oz, what are the chances that
little Oz is going to be werewolfy?"
    "Not too much, but there is a chance," said Oz with a nod, who
had grown out of his "cool" hair.
    "Hey, everyone!"  Xander said walking down the stairs dressed in
a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt.
    "Xander, come meet Giles Xander Rosenberg-Osgoode," said Buffy
with a smile.
    "No more funnies about my little baby's name," Willow said,
although she knew her son had a long name.
    "Y'know, Will," said Xander giving her a friendly kiss on the
cheek as a greeting, "You should have gone with Xander Osgoode, nice and
simple."
    "I think not, Xander," said Giles opening the screen door and
walking in.
    "G-man!" said Xander with a chuckle, "only kidding."
    "As always, Xander, as always," said Giles with a sigh and a
smile, and he turned to Buffy.  "Should of thought twice about marrying
this fellow, Buffy.  I would think that a slayer would have such sense."
    "I thought about it, but I figured he was better than nothing,"
said Buffy glancing at Xander's face.
    "I think that might be the other way around, Buffy," said Xander
indignantly, but when all of their eyes gave him a Look his smile turned
sheepish,  "Or not."
    "Too bad Cordelia couldn't make it," said Buffy handing the baby
over to Willow, again, "It would have made for the perfect reunion."
    "Y'know, I still haven't gotten use to the idea that Cordy's a
Watcher, have you, Giles?" asked Xander as he sat down on their black
leather couch set.
    "You'd be surprised, Xander, how much Cordelia's matured over the
years.  She's a rather fine Watcher and one of the best these days," said
Giles, who made it a point not to say bad things of fellow Watchers,
although he was a former.
    "I'm surprised we need Watchers at all, I mean, the Hellmouth's
closed and vampires are nonexistent," said Buffy thoughtfully.
    The screen door creaked loudly as it opened, causing all eyes to
turn to see who had entered.  Cordelia walked towards them in her known
manner, but they sensed pride and respect in her stride.  She had entered
and completed their circle of friends, but the first words that befell
her lips, caused the circle to stumble and long-forgotten fears caused
their hearts to tremble.  Her words and her voice echoed in their minds
as she spoke, "It's not closed anymore..."
**********************
End of part 2

_____________________________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Kirstin" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Fallen (1/?)
Date: 06 Apr 1998 19:22:31 -0400

title: Fallen (1/1)
rating: strictly G or PG here.  nothing anybody can't read.
disclaimer: these characters are joss's, the wb's, mutant enemy's, anyone
else who has a valid claim that i don't know about's property.  they aren't
mine.  neither is the stuff from Gone . . ., Anya's story, which this is a
sequel to.  the ideas here, however, are mine.  please don't steal them
distribution: ask and ye shall receive.
feedback: pretty please with a cherry on top.
comments: mad props and thanks to all of the people who beta-read for me
and sent me nice comments last time i sent this.  Leslie, Taygeta,
Michelle, Divine1798, and hjrobert, you are the best humans ever!  i adore
you!  well, that's the cookies talkin', but you rock!  :)

There is no statute of limitations on forever, she told herself.  You told
him you love him.  You have to honor that.  But it was getting harder.  So
much had changed, in the month since he had left, in the weeks since she
had.  Things were completely different; she was completely different.  And
maybe somewhere inside she would always love him, but a different kind of
love than she used to think.  She had grown up with him, no matter how far
apart they were, they would always be best friends.  But she was beginning
to see that distance really did matter, and that it wouldn't mean that she
loved him less, if she let herself love someone else more.

    Buffy.  How could she do this to Buffy?  That was a completely different
issue.  She knew that Xander had never loved her the way she loved him.
She wasn't betraying him.  But she was betraying Buffy.  In such a short
time, the girls had grown so close.  Buffy had opened her eyes, shown her
things that she never knew existed.  Willow had grown up a lot through
their friendship, but she had grown even more when it ended.  There was no
way she could justify this.  It was nothing but betrayal.  Even though
Angel and Buffy had never let themselves get too close, Willow knew that
Buffy was in love.  How could she do that to her best friend, even if Buffy
and Angel would never see each other again?  How could she ignore what she
knew was right?

    But maybe Buffy and Angel weren't meant to be, Willow thought.  After all,
isn't he everything she is fighting against?  It never would have worked
out in the long run.  They couldn't have had a future.  A vampire and the
slayer, that's practically the definition of star-crossed.  Willow, on the
other hand, knew exactly what Angel went through.  She knew the bloodlust,
and the guilt after.  She knew what it was to be everything that she hated
in the world, and together maybe they could make things work out.  Maybe
they did have a chance . . .

    Angel doesn't even want me, Willow decided.  There is no way we have a
chance.  Just because I decided to be an awful person and turn against all
of my friends doesn't mean that he has.  He loves Buffy.  I am just a
friend.  He wouldn't even have come with me, but he probably wanted to
watch me in case I went full out vamp.  Giles just made him come along to
stake me if I started any problems.  That's all it is.

    But when he looks at me now, it's different.  Softer.  It's like he has
noticed that I'm changing too.  I'm not the girl I used to be.  I feel
older, a lot less naive.  And when I see myself, what little of myself I
can still see in the mirror, I look different too.  There's something there
that wasn't there before.  And I like it.  I think I'm finally starting to
see myself as beautiful.  And someday maybe I'll find someone to love me
like I love him . . . maybe someday Angel might fall in love with me, like
I'm falling in love with him.

*****

    This hadn't just started.  It wasn't like he woke up last week and
thought, hmm, maybe Willow.  And it wasn't just because Buffy was gone, or
because Willow was a vampire.  There was more to it.  In a way, it had
always been there.  He and Willow had always gotten along.  She was the one
to stick up for him.  And she had always been beautiful.  That was
definite.  But there was something new.  Something in the way that she
carried herself, something behind her eyes.  She looked older, wiser, and a
little more sure of herself.  In the middle of all of her problems, she had
really grown up and found herself.  Willow could always make the best of a
bad situation.  She was smart, and fun, and he loved being around her.  He
had always known that, too.  What he hadn't always known though, what he
was beginning to discover, was that he was falling in love with her, with
Willow.

    If he really thought about it, he had probably started to notice sometime
just before Buffy and Xander had gone on their respective vacations.  He,
Willow, Giles, Jenny, and Cordelia had thrown a makeshift goodbye party for
the departing Slayer and Slayerette.  He remembered one point in the
evening when he was alone with Willow, setting up for the party.  They were
getting out the cake, setting up plates and glasses, the usual pre-party
fare.  At some point in their stream of idle conversation, Willow said
something that made him take notice.

    "I can't believe they're going to be gone for so long!  Xander is leaving
tomorrow, and Buffy just a few days after.  I guess I'll get good at doing
research, since I'll be all alone for a month, I can catch up on my
prophecies or something.  Bye-bye hanging out and having fun," Willow said
sadly.

    "Don't worry Willow; I promise a lot of hanging out and having fun this
summer.  As long as 241 year old dead guys are your style," Angel answered
with a laugh.

    "I guess that could be included in my definition of fun," she said,
brightening up.  "Maybe we could go Bronzing sometimes?" she asked
hopefully.

    "Sure," he answered, "I'd love to dance with you."

    I wonder if she saw then what I saw, Angel thought.  I wonder if the same
forbidden thoughts were running through her mind then, and later.  We spent
so much time together.  By day, she was Giles' research girl, but at night,
she was mine.  Did she feel it too?  When we did the rounds at night, did
the same feelings tug at her soul as tugged at mine?  I just wanted to be
with her, all the time.  She had to know.  God, I was so obvious sometimes!
 I acted like a sixteen-year-old, not a 241-year vampire.  It's a good
thing that vampires don't sweat.  She would have noticed my damp palms
dancing at the Bronze.  I love holding her close like that, her tiny body
folded into mine.  It was all I could do not to kiss her then, even before
everything happened and I knew I would never see Buffy again.  Even if this
had never happened, I would have had to end things with Buffy when she got
back.  I wouldn't have approached Willow, I couldn't put that strain on
their friendship, but I also couldn't allow myself to lead Buffy on like
that.  I knew even then that she wasn't the one I loved.
When Willow didn't answer my call the night they got her, I was trapped in
fear.  I ran through the city, looking everywhere I thought she might be.
Finally, I reached the Anointed One's lair.  I remember her, lying on the
ground.  She was passed out, sick.  She was so cold when I picked her up.
What if she had been dead?  Well, in a way, she was dead.  The fear raced
through me.  Thank god Giles was home when I got there.  He found a pulse,
a quiet low pulse.  So we waited.  I think he might have known how I feel
about her.  He could see it.

    I know that there is nothing for her in Europe.  There are no Rom to cure
her.  She is what she is forever.  I think Giles knows that too, but
neither of us could tell Willow.  This is her last hope.  Maybe there is
something there though, something that will reassure her, even if it won't
cure her.  She has a lot of fighting to do.  Together though, I know we can
get through it.  I can help her control her urges, and she can help me with
mine.  We're good for each other.  Sunnydale was bad for both of us.
That's why I filled her head with hopes of an anchor for her soul.  In
Sunnydale, she would have driven a stake into her heart eventually, or
forced Buffy to do it for her.  She couldn't have handled being what she
was, a Slayerette who should have been one of the slain.  Giles and I knew
that to keep her alive, we had to keep her away from home.  And so we're
going to Europe.  We're going together.  I hope that someday, we can truly
be together.  Maybe someday Willow might fall in love with me, like I've
fallen in love with her.







-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Kirstin" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Fallen (1/?)
Date: 06 Apr 1998 19:22:31 -0400

title: Fallen (1/1)
rating: strictly G or PG here.  nothing anybody can't read.
disclaimer: these characters are joss's, the wb's, mutant enemy's, anyone
else who has a valid claim that i don't know about's property.  they aren't
mine.  neither is the stuff from Gone . . ., Anya's story, which this is a
sequel to.  the ideas here, however, are mine.  please don't steal them
distribution: ask and ye shall receive.
feedback: pretty please with a cherry on top.
comments: mad props and thanks to all of the people who beta-read for me
and sent me nice comments last time i sent this.  Leslie, Taygeta,
Michelle, Divine1798, and hjrobert, you are the best humans ever!  i adore
you!  well, that's the cookies talkin', but you rock!  :)

There is no statute of limitations on forever, she told herself.  You told
him you love him.  You have to honor that.  But it was getting harder.  So
much had changed, in the month since he had left, in the weeks since she
had.  Things were completely different; she was completely different.  And
maybe somewhere inside she would always love him, but a different kind of
love than she used to think.  She had grown up with him, no matter how far
apart they were, they would always be best friends.  But she was beginning
to see that distance really did matter, and that it wouldn't mean that she
loved him less, if she let herself love someone else more.

    Buffy.  How could she do this to Buffy?  That was a completely different
issue.  She knew that Xander had never loved her the way she loved him.
She wasn't betraying him.  But she was betraying Buffy.  In such a short
time, the girls had grown so close.  Buffy had opened her eyes, shown her
things that she never knew existed.  Willow had grown up a lot through
their friendship, but she had grown even more when it ended.  There was no
way she could justify this.  It was nothing but betrayal.  Even though
Angel and Buffy had never let themselves get too close, Willow knew that
Buffy was in love.  How could she do that to her best friend, even if Buffy
and Angel would never see each other again?  How could she ignore what she
knew was right?

    But maybe Buffy and Angel weren't meant to be, Willow thought.  After all,
isn't he everything she is fighting against?  It never would have worked
out in the long run.  They couldn't have had a future.  A vampire and the
slayer, that's practically the definition of star-crossed.  Willow, on the
other hand, knew exactly what Angel went through.  She knew the bloodlust,
and the guilt after.  She knew what it was to be everything that she hated
in the world, and together maybe they could make things work out.  Maybe
they did have a chance . . .

    Angel doesn't even want me, Willow decided.  There is no way we have a
chance.  Just because I decided to be an awful person and turn against all
of my friends doesn't mean that he has.  He loves Buffy.  I am just a
friend.  He wouldn't even have come with me, but he probably wanted to
watch me in case I went full out vamp.  Giles just made him come along to
stake me if I started any problems.  That's all it is.

    But when he looks at me now, it's different.  Softer.  It's like he has
noticed that I'm changing too.  I'm not the girl I used to be.  I feel
older, a lot less naive.  And when I see myself, what little of myself I
can still see in the mirror, I look different too.  There's something there
that wasn't there before.  And I like it.  I think I'm finally starting to
see myself as beautiful.  And someday maybe I'll find someone to love me
like I love him . . . maybe someday Angel might fall in love with me, like
I'm falling in love with him.

*****

    This hadn't just started.  It wasn't like he woke up last week and
thought, hmm, maybe Willow.  And it wasn't just because Buffy was gone, or
because Willow was a vampire.  There was more to it.  In a way, it had
always been there.  He and Willow had always gotten along.  She was the one
to stick up for him.  And she had always been beautiful.  That was
definite.  But there was something new.  Something in the way that she
carried herself, something behind her eyes.  She looked older, wiser, and a
little more sure of herself.  In the middle of all of her problems, she had
really grown up and found herself.  Willow could always make the best of a
bad situation.  She was smart, and fun, and he loved being around her.  He
had always known that, too.  What he hadn't always known though, what he
was beginning to discover, was that he was falling in love with her, with
Willow.

    If he really thought about it, he had probably started to notice sometime
just before Buffy and Xander had gone on their respective vacations.  He,
Willow, Giles, Jenny, and Cordelia had thrown a makeshift goodbye party for
the departing Slayer and Slayerette.  He remembered one point in the
evening when he was alone with Willow, setting up for the party.  They were
getting out the cake, setting up plates and glasses, the usual pre-party
fare.  At some point in their stream of idle conversation, Willow said
something that made him take notice.

    "I can't believe they're going to be gone for so long!  Xander is leaving
tomorrow, and Buffy just a few days after.  I guess I'll get good at doing
research, since I'll be all alone for a month, I can catch up on my
prophecies or something.  Bye-bye hanging out and having fun," Willow said
sadly.

    "Don't worry Willow; I promise a lot of hanging out and having fun this
summer.  As long as 241 year old dead guys are your style," Angel answered
with a laugh.

    "I guess that could be included in my definition of fun," she said,
brightening up.  "Maybe we could go Bronzing sometimes?" she asked
hopefully.

    "Sure," he answered, "I'd love to dance with you."

    I wonder if she saw then what I saw, Angel thought.  I wonder if the same
forbidden thoughts were running through her mind then, and later.  We spent
so much time together.  By day, she was Giles' research girl, but at night,
she was mine.  Did she feel it too?  When we did the rounds at night, did
the same feelings tug at her soul as tugged at mine?  I just wanted to be
with her, all the time.  She had to know.  God, I was so obvious sometimes!
 I acted like a sixteen-year-old, not a 241-year vampire.  It's a good
thing that vampires don't sweat.  She would have noticed my damp palms
dancing at the Bronze.  I love holding her close like that, her tiny body
folded into mine.  It was all I could do not to kiss her then, even before
everything happened and I knew I would never see Buffy again.  Even if this
had never happened, I would have had to end things with Buffy when she got
back.  I wouldn't have approached Willow, I couldn't put that strain on
their friendship, but I also couldn't allow myself to lead Buffy on like
that.  I knew even then that she wasn't the one I loved.
When Willow didn't answer my call the night they got her, I was trapped in
fear.  I ran through the city, looking everywhere I thought she might be.
Finally, I reached the Anointed One's lair.  I remember her, lying on the
ground.  She was passed out, sick.  She was so cold when I picked her up.
What if she had been dead?  Well, in a way, she was dead.  The fear raced
through me.  Thank god Giles was home when I got there.  He found a pulse,
a quiet low pulse.  So we waited.  I think he might have known how I feel
about her.  He could see it.

    I know that there is nothing for her in Europe.  There are no Rom to cure
her.  She is what she is forever.  I think Giles knows that too, but
neither of us could tell Willow.  This is her last hope.  Maybe there is
something there though, something that will reassure her, even if it won't
cure her.  She has a lot of fighting to do.  Together though, I know we can
get through it.  I can help her control her urges, and she can help me with
mine.  We're good for each other.  Sunnydale was bad for both of us.
That's why I filled her head with hopes of an anchor for her soul.  In
Sunnydale, she would have driven a stake into her heart eventually, or
forced Buffy to do it for her.  She couldn't have handled being what she
was, a Slayerette who should have been one of the slain.  Giles and I knew
that to keep her alive, we had to keep her away from home.  And so we're
going to Europe.  We're going together.  I hope that someday, we can truly
be together.  Maybe someday Willow might fall in love with me, like I've
fallen in love with her.







-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:The Watcher(1/?)
Date: 07 Apr 1998 17:06:45 EDT

The Watcher (1/?)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: The Watcher
AUTHOR: Jaclyn [e-mail]
RATING: PG/PG-13
SUMMARY: This takes place four years later while the Buffy gang is attending
Montague University near Sunnydale. AngelÆs soul has been permanently
restored, and he is 100% human. Jenny Calendar is still alive. Buffy will be
getting a new Watcher.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the
Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century
Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. No infringement intended.
FEEDBACK: Please be nice; IÆm still a newbie.

    Buffy lay awake, thinking, in AngelÆs arms at 5:30 in the morning. Everything
had happened so fast: graduation from high school, deciding to go to Montague
University about fifteen minutes from Sunnydale, moving into their rented
house with Willow, Cordelia, Xander, Oz, and Angel, and finishing up her
Junior year of college.
Willow had almost gone of to Columbia, but she thought it more important to
help Buffy save the world from vampires than go to an ivy-league school and
move on with her life. For some reason, Buffy felt like it wasnÆt her choice;
it was her destiny to stay near Willow.
Realizing how important it was for all of them to stay together, she urged the
others to rent out a house close to the campus. Cordelia and Willow shared a
room, as did Xander and Oz. Buffy got her own room, and Angel often stayed
with her.
    Giles, on the other hand, did not live with the kids. He had become a
librarian at Montague but stayed in his house in Sunnydale. He visited the
house often, and there was always a room made up for him, but he mostly stayed
at home since Jenny Calendar, his new wife, was pregnant.
    Everything, Buffy knew, would change soon. Once the Watcher became a parent,
they are relieved of their duty. That day was bound to come soon, for Jenny
was due in less than a month. //What would the new one be like?// thought
Buffy. //Will he/she accept Angel as my boyfriend? Will Giles leave my life
forever?// She shuttered at the thought. She and Giles had become so close
over the years. He was like the father she never saw. //But IÆm going to have
to let go, right? ItÆs not fair to Giles. He deserves his own life now,
doesnÆt he? Just like someday, when Angel and I have a child, IÆll deserve my
life back.//
    She got out of bed, put on her robe, and walked out onto the balcony outside
her window. From there she saw the ocean waves crash against the shore.
    "WhatÆs wrong?" Angel asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
    She sighed. "I miss Giles already even though heÆs not yet gone. IÆm worried
about my new Watcher. I, I, I feel like somethingÆs coming, but I donÆt know
what."
    "Something bad?"
    "IÆm not sure. I think it has to do with the changing of Watchers, though."
    "Why donÆt you give Giles a call?"
    "Because, heÆs right over there." She pointed towards GilesÆs small car
parking in the driveway.
    They quickly woke the rest of the group and met Giles in the living room.
They could tell by his face that this news was causing him bewilderment.
    "Um, I, I, I have some very interesting news for you, Buffy. I have tracked
down your, your knew Watcher, and the name was a surprise, even for me. ItÆs
rather interesting-"
    "Giles," Buffy cut him off, "who is it?"
    "I, I think you all better sit down." The group did as told. "From what I
have concluded, the next Watcher in line is Willow Rosenberg."

End Part 1

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: HOPE!!!!
Date: 07 Apr 1998 15:17:29 PDT

Okay...my story parts were too long and I can't send them to the list!
Sorry for the missing parts!  They will becoming soon...

Sara

______________________________________________________
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-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: HOPE!!!!
Date: 07 Apr 1998 15:17:48 PDT

Okay...my story parts were too long and I can't send them to the list!
Sorry for the missing parts!  They will becoming soon...

Sara

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  Part 1 of 42/45
Date: 07 Apr 1998 15:29:31 PDT

Author: Sara B.  [e-mail]
Title:  Hope
Discl:  I don't own em!

I had to separate each part into two emails because they were too long.
Sorry for the inconvenience!


Part 42   PG-13

Hope managed to muster the strength to crawl over to Buffy.  She reached
out and grasped her hand, squeezing gently.  Sobs racked her body.  ôIÆm
sorry,ö she cried.  ôIÆm so sorry.ö  Her body grew numb till she
couldnÆt feel herself.  She pulled BuffyÆs body close to her and weeped,
her tears falling on the small pale face.  ôOh God, I let you die,ö she
whispered.  ôIÆm so sorry,ö she repeated, feeling more anguish than she
had ever felt before.

Giles, still in shock, slowly walked over to Hope, taking Buffy from her
arms.  Carrying his Slayer to the edge of the cavern by the door, he
held her in his arms.

Joyce screamed out in grief.  ôNNOOOOOOOO!!!ö  She sobbed, agony filling
her aching heart.  She tugged at the chains that restricted her from her
daughter, tearing her flesh till she was bleeding.  The pain that ripped
through her soul was like her insides were being torn out of her body.
Bile clogged her throat as she leaned over and regurgitated onto the
floor beside her.  A pain more intense than a thousand knives stung at
her, and she withered against the wall, trying to forget the horrendous
death of her only daughter.

Xander watched her and scurried to her, releasing her from the binding
irons.   She ran to Buffy and snatched her daughter from Giles arms.
Sobbing uncontrollably, she rocked back and forth, moaning.

Hope stood up, no longer crying.  She wiped the tears from her eyes and
stared at Angel.  The hatred that swarmed through her flesh was a
vicious loathing that erupted from the depths of her soul.  A fierce,
violent rage pumped through her veins.  Her tears stopped, and the
mournful look in her eyes was replaced by a furious one.

Her voice, hoarse and raspy, spoke quietly to the vampire that stood
before her.  ôYou will die.ö  Her chest heaved and she stood with a
vengeance that could rival no other.  Hope punched him hard to the face
with one hand, then the other, repeatedly till her knuckles bled, but
she felt no pain.  Grabbing his hair, she slammed his head into the
wall.  The strong rock crumbled beneath the blow.  She spun with
increased momentum and gave him a roundhouse kick to the face.  She spun
again, and kicked him in the stomach.  He stumbled back, and she pulled
out a small bottle of holy water out of her pocket.  She splashed it on
his chest.  Angel screamed from the fierce burning of his skin.  She
punched him three times in the stomach, and he staggered back in pain.
Running at him, she jumped up and kicked him in the neck, sending him
flying backwards into the pond.  Angel staggered out of the water and
looked at her.  She tried to punch him, but he grabbed her arm in mid
swing and flipped her over onto the ground.  Hope let out a painful
breath.  Angel reached down for her, but Hope kicked up with both legs
into AngelÆs face and made him fall backward onto the floor.  They both
scramble to their feet again.  Hope did a roundhouse kick to AngelÆs
face.  He fell again, but hopped right back to his feet.

Angel tried to advance toward Hope again, but stopped in mid stride.
Her necklace glowed brighter than ever and he knew that she was
dangerous.  HopeÆs power matched his own.  How, he didnÆt know, but he
did know that this wasnÆt going to be an easy fight.

Hope stared into his cold, emotionless eyes.  She was becoming
increasingly strong, and with her strength she was more brutal.  She
noticed him staring at her necklace, and saw itÆs bright glow.  It
illuminated the Lair.  < My necklace >

< Wait a minute....thatÆs it! >  At that moment Hope realized what she
needed to save Angel.  Her necklace.  It was the key to his greatest
wish.  < What do I do? >  She closed her eyes and grabbed the bright
pendant, focusing on itÆs energy.  A gust of wind entered the silent
lair, blowing out some of the candles.  A soothing voice came into her
head.  *Put it on him*.

< Wait, he doesnÆt deserve to live.  I canÆt save him >  She thought
angrily, looking at the body of her friend.  < No.  I have to.  I have
to save him >  Remembering the words of her parents, she make the
hardest decision in her life.

She opened her eyes.  He was staring at her her.  < I have to save him.
I have to sacrifice my own life for his >

Hope grabbed the pendant, feeling itÆs warm vibes.  Knowing what she had
to do, she unclasped it and pulled it off her neck.  Giles watched her
and his heart thudded.  ôHope, NO!ö He yelled, but it was too late.  He
watched in fear and terror, not wanting to lose her too.

She ran and flipped over Angel, landing directly behind him.  She jumped
on his back, and pulled the necklace around his neck, and clasped it.
He reached around and pushed her off of him.  Hope felt her body grow
incredibly weak, and tried to run over to Giles, but collapsed in mid
stride.  Pain engulfed her, and she felt herself beginning to lose her
life. She tried to crawl to him, but her body lacked the energy.  Xander
dashed to her and grabbed Hope, pulling her away from the raging
vampire.

Angel screamed in anger.  His voice was shattering, and he clutched the
necklace, trying to pull it off his neck.  Smoke came from his hands as
it burned into his hands.  The demon within him was struggling with his
soul.  AngelÆs body flew across the room and slammed into a rock wall.
He fell to the ground in convulsions.  Hope, Giles, and Xander watched
in horror as Angel withered in pain.  All of a sudden, a ghastly scream
erupted from his body. In all their life they had never heard anything
like itÆs terrifying sound, and they never would again.  It would stay
with them till they died.  It was the sound of pain, agony, and defeat.
The demon lost, and his soul was home.

Silence filled the room.  Hope looked at Giles, who sat silently.  ôHeÆs
saved,ö she whispered.  ôTell my parents that I did it,ö her voice
cracked with emotion.  She reached for BuffyÆs hand and grasped it just
as she did before.  Hope squeezed her eyes shut tight and a bright
orange light illuminated between their palms.  Hope whispered, ôGive her
life,ö and squeezed harder.  The orange light filled BuffyÆs body till
she was glowing from head to toe.  Her eyes opened, and she smiled at
Giles.  ôIÆll miss you all,ö she said.
ôTell Buffy I love her.ö  Her eyes filled with tears as they fluttered
shut.  The grasp she had on BuffyÆs hand weakened, and her frail body
went limp.

The tears of Joyce,  Xander, and Giles fell onto BuffyÆs face, just as
her eyelids fluttered open.  She looked at HopeÆs body, and at AngelÆs
curled up figure.  ôWhy are you crying?ö  Her hoarse voice asked, gazing
into the faces of her friends.  Three sets of eyes popped open.

ôYouÆre alive!ö  Joyce exclaimed, and hugged her.  Relief flooded her,
and her blazing pain ceased.  ôI thought I lost you.ö

Buffy leaned back and looked into her eyes.  ôWhat happened?ö  She
looked over at HopeÆs lifeless figure.  ôOh no,ö  She whispered, looking
back at her mother.  ôIs she dead?ö

Joyce choked back a sob.  ôYes, honey.  She died.ö

BuffyÆs eyes filled with tears and she began to weep.  ôHow....how
did...ö

ôShe died giving you life,ö Giles said softly.  Buffy stared into is
aged eyes.

ôWhat?ö  She asked.  ôShe died for me?ö  Giles nodded, and Buffy turned
back and looked at the body that lay before her.  Loosening herself from
her motherÆs tight hold, she crawled over to Hope.  Taking the small
hand in hers, she kissed it gently, her tears covering her lips and
blanketing her damp face.  ôI let you down,ö she whispered.  ôI promised
you that you would make it out of here alive, but I didnÆt keep my
promise.  IÆm so sorry.ö  She held onto HopeÆs hand, mourning her body
with intense feeling of guilt.


______________________________________________________
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-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  Part 1 of 43/45
Date: 07 Apr 1998 15:34:41 PDT

A: Sara B.
T: Hope
D: I don't own 'em!

Part  43   PG

The warm sun danced on BuffyÆs face as she opened her eyes to greet the
morning.  She smiled, returning the cheerful hello.  Yawning, she looked
over at the small table that stood next to her bed, and saw the two
claddagh rings sitting side by side.  It was then that she remembered.

The harsh reality of the previous nights hit her like a ton of bricks.
Her throat tightened up and the tears rushed to her eyes, but she held
them back, refusing to cry.

Slowly she sat up in her warm bed and felt the soft, cozy green flannel
sheets rub against her legs.  Buffy propped a pillow up and leaned
against it, her head resting against the wall.  She looked at her
window.  AngelÆs window, as she liked to call it.  The one where he
would sit in the night and watch over her as she slept, protecting her,
like a guardian Angel.  Frowning, she looked away from it, realizing he
would never sit on that windowsill again.

Glancing over at her mirror, she stared at her unfamiliar reflection.
Tired, red, puffy eyes that looked well worn beyond their years, and a
pale, sickly complexion.  Her parched, dry lips shown of a light pale
pink.  Her hair hung limply around her face.  She grabbed a scrunchie
and pulled it back.

A soft knock interrupted her thoughts and the comforting face of her
mother peeked through the crack in the door.  ôMy I come in?ö  She
asked, hopefully.

Buffy nodded.  ôOf course you can.ö

Joyce entered her room and slowly sat down on the bed.  ôHow are you
this morning?ö

ôIt hurts,ö she replied simply, the tears that had previously threatened
to run down her face emerging.

ôI know, honey.  IÆm sorry,ö she said, taking her daughters hand.

ôI canÆt believe I lost them both,ö she whispered, the pain in her heart
growing.  Buffy looked up into her eyes.  ôDid he...I mean...um...Do
you.....know---a..about...me?ö  She asked reluctantly.

Joyce gave her a soothing smile.  ôYes, I know.  Angel told me.ö

ôIÆm sorry I didnÆt tell you--Giles said that I would be endangering you
if I told you I was the Slayer and I wanted to----ö

ôBuffy, Buffy, calm down.  I understand.  You donÆt have to explain,ö
she said.  ôI just feel bad about all the times I got mad at you and
called you irresponsible when you had the weight of the world on your
shoulders.ö

Buffy shook her head.  ôItÆs okay.  You didnÆt know what was going on.
I wanted to tell you, I really did. It was hard keeping all of that to
myself.  IÆm so sorry.  I mean---ö

Joyce held up her hand, silencing her daughter.  ôShhh...ö she said.
ôLike I said, donÆt apologize.ö  Buffy nodded, but guilt still weighed
heavily over her.  ôLetÆs not talk about this right now.  WeÆll have
this conversation later.  There is still a lot to be worked out.  I want
to know all about Slayers and vampires.ö

Buffy smiled weakly.  ôWell youÆd better prepare yourself.  There is a
LOT to tell.ö

Joyce gave a small laugh.  ôDo Xander and Willow know about you?ö

ôYeah, theyÆve know since we moved here,ö  Buffy said.  Her mind flashed
to the car accident.  ôWillow and Cordelia, are they okay?ö  She asked,
worried.

ôI spoke with Giles earlier this morning.  They will be fine.  Willow
went home last night with a badly sprained wrist, and Cordelia will be
released in two weeks.  The muscles in her leg need to heal, and she
might have to have some physical therapy,ö Joyce told her.

ôAnd Miss Calendar?  Is she okay?ö  Buffy asked.

She nodded.  ôYes, she is fine.  It was just a mild concussion.ö

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief.  ôIÆm so glad they are okay.  I was
really worried.  I should probably go to the library and talk to Giles,ö
Buffy said, throwing back her covers, attempting to get up.

Joyce pushed her back down and put the covers back on her.  Buffy gave
her a confused look.  ôGiles said that he will call you later.  You need
to stay in bed and get your rest.  You gave us all a scare last
night...ö Joyce said, shuddering.  She thought back to the moment Buffy
died.  ôYou died last night.ö

ôAgain,ö Buffy uttered, wincing.

Joyce opened her eyes wide.  ôWhat do you mean, again?ö

She gulped, feeling her cheeks turn a rosy shade of pink.  ôI, um, well,
kinda sorta died last year.  But only for a minute!ö  She exclaimed.

ôYou died?!ö  Joyce asked, her heart thudding.

ôWell, yeah.  That will be another thing I will have to explain to you,ö
Buffy said sheepishly.

ôBuffy, I donÆt know WHAT IÆm going to do with you!ö  Joyce said,
smiling despite her uneasiness at the knowledge that Buffy died twice.
ôListen, would you like me to get you anything?  Juice?  Water?
Something to eat?ö

Buffy thought for a moment.  ôIÆll take my usual.ö

ôTwo parts orange, one part grapefruit.  IÆm on it,ö Joyce said, and got
up to leave.  Buffy pulled her back onto the bed for a hug.  Grasping
her mother, she felt at that moment an evanescent peace.

ôI love you, Mom,ö she whispered.

ôI love you too, honey.ö  After a few moments, Joyce pulled away.  ôYou
know I will always be there for you.ö

ôI know.ö

ôIÆll be right back,ö she said, and Buffy nodded.

Joyce stood up slowly.  Walking to the door she glanced back at Buffy,
who stared at her window.  The distant look in her sorrowful eyes broke
JoyceÆs heart.  Closing the door behind her, she inwardly sighed.  < So
much pain for someone so young.  I hope she will be able to get over
this >


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  Part 2 of 42/45
Date: 07 Apr 1998 15:31:19 PDT

2/42/45

ôBuffy?ö  A weak voice asked.

She spun around to look at AngelÆs teary eyes.  Scrambling over to him,
she could see the beautiful soul that had once been gone.  Buffy choked
back her sob, and she embraced Angel.  ôYouÆre back,ö she whispered.

ôBuffy, I love you.  DonÆt ever forget that,ö he said, clutching his
chest.  Buffy pulled back and looked at him.

ôI wonÆt.  I love you with all of my heart.ö  She stared into his eyes,
and saw sadness behind the pools of tears.  ôWhatÆs wrong?ö

Angel trembled, and held up his head.  Opening his palm, he revealed
their claddagh rings.

ôMy ring!ö  Buffy exclaimed, a look of joy on her face.  Angel gazed
into BuffyÆs eyes, and his crimson lips turned into a small smile.  Her
took her hand and slipped it onto her finger.

Angel pulled away, and put his ring into her hand.  ôI want to you have
this,ö he said, his face full of grief.  ôBuffy.....IÆm dying,ö he
uttered.

Shocked, she stared at him in disbelief.  ôWhat do you mean?ö

Angel broke down and cried.  ôI love you with all of my heart.  IÆm
sorry for everything I did.  I never deserved youÆre love.  I did so
many horrible things in my life, and you forgave me for all of them.ö

ôAngel,ö Buffy bawled, her voice racked with sobs.  ôYouÆre not going to
die.ö

He kissed her hand, and her lips gently.  ôYou have to promise me
something,ö he said.

ôAnything,ö she whispered, her tears falling onto his chest.

ôDonÆt ever forget my love for you.  You have been what has kept me
alive.  You were my reason to live,ö he whispered, his voice growing
weaker by each word.  ôLive the life you want to live.  I want you to
promise me you will move on.ö  His deep soulful eyes pleaded with hers.
ôPromise me, Buffy.ö  Angel winced as an excruciating pain shot through
him, his body shuddering.

She nodded her head.  ôI promise.ö

ôPlease donÆt ever forget me,ö he said, his voice rasping.

ôDonÆt leave me, Angel,ö Buffy sobbed.  She leaned in and kissed him
passionately, holding on to him as tightly as she could, afraid to let
go.

Angel leaned his head back onto the ground, slowly closing his eyes.
Feeling her teardrops on his eyelids, he opened them slightly, and
murmured, ôI love you,ö before he drifted off into an endless sleep.

Buffy leaned her head down, lightly brushing her lips against his.  She
leaned back, staring at his lifeless body.

The silence that hung over the lair was heavy with anguished sorrow as
AngelÆs body turned to dust.  Buffy collapsed with sobs, digging her
fingernails into the soft earth where his ashes lay.  She sobbed but no
more tears came.

Joyce slowly walked to her daughters heaving body.  She gently pulled
Buffy to her feet and hugged her tightly, softly stroking her hair.  She
knew that in no way could she comfort her right now.  ôOh Mom, I lost
them both,ö she cried into JoyceÆs shoulder.

Xander stood up, HopeÆs body in his arms.  He took a deep breath,
holding in his anguish.  He gazed down into HopeÆs pale face, noticing
how beautiful she was.  Her hair a golden yellow, her lips the color of
a pink rose in bloom, her long, black eyelashes covering her sparkling
emerald eyes.   He felt his lip quivering, no longer able to hold in the
tears which now heartily flowed from his mahogany brown eyes.

Buffy watched him over her motherÆs shoulder.  She had never seen Xander
display this kind of emotion, but was not surprised by his sadness.  He
looked up and saw her staring at him.  His heart broke into a million
pieces seeing her in grief.  Their eyes stayed locked together, mentally
comforting one another.  If he could, Xander would take her pain away,
until she was happy again.  Until her face bore that radiant smile and
those sparkling eyes that it usually did.  Staring into his eyes, Buffy
felt a momentary solace in his presence.  She managed a weak smile,
which he readily returned.

Xander felt Hope become suddenly light in his eyes and stared down at
the body in his arms, gaping in shock.  ôOh my.....ö his voice trailed
off, unable to continue speaking.

HopeÆs body began to disappear, slowly fading away.  They watched she
became transparent, her body becoming almost crystalline.  A soft, white
glow penetrated from her as she became hazy.  A bright light broke from
within her, blinding Xander.  At that moment, she vanished from his
arms.

Xander looked at his arms, not believing what he just saw.  ôWhere did
she go?ö  He asked, confusion and shock chiseling his face.  He looked
at Giles, who was speechless.

ôI...I donÆt know,ö he said calmly, trying to think of any possible
explanation, but none came to mind.  ôThat was the most amazing thing I
have ever seen.ö

Buffy shuddered, realizing how cold she was.  Her mother held her
tightly, and looked at Giles.  ôI think we should get out of here,ö she
said, not letting go of her sorrowful daughter.

Giles nodded slightly, and slowly the four friends walked out of the
lair.  Before Buffy walked through the door, she looked back at the
place where Angel died, taking in his lingering scent that filled the
hollow caverns of the Hellmouth.  Her heart tore into two pieces as her
mother urged her to leave.  ôIÆll never forget,ö she whispered into the
air.  Buffy reluctantly turned her head to face XanderÆs outstretched
hand.  She grasped it tightly, and he lead her out into the night.



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From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  1 of 44/45
Date: 07 Apr 1998 15:39:06 PDT

A: Sara B.
T: Hope
D: I don't own 'em!


Part 44   PG    If you get offended by religion, IÆd advise you not to
read this.

Buffy looked at her clock.  10:00 a.m.  Almost two days since she first
learned about the fate of Angel, since she first met Hope.  Her thoughts
wandered to Darla.  She was still in a bit of shock at seeing her alive
and well.  < At lease I killed her.  I only wished I had done the same
to Spike and Drusilla >  She thought.  Buffy had searched the old
caverns for the two vampires, but all she found were three minions, and
she took care of them easily.  < Where the hell did they go? >  Her
anger began to build at the thought of Spike and Drusilla still alive.
They caused her so much pain.....

They took away Angel.

< Angel is gone.  I will never see him again >  She stared at the
window.  < We never made love....I wanted to give myself to him >

She shook her head, trying to rid her head of those thought.  No matter
how hard she tried to push him out of her head, her thoughts always came
back to him.  The feel of his arms around her body, his lips on hers,
his fingers in her hair....the warmth and security she felt when he was
around.

It was all gone.

Her heart had been torn into a million pieces when she watched him turn
to dust.  When she watched the most important thing in her life die.
When her world fell apart.

< NO! I wonÆt let that happen.  I promised him I would move on.  And I
will do that....I will move on...>

Buffy threw back the covers and stood up.  Her knees felt like putty and
she grasped onto the bedpost for support until she felt strong enough to
walk.  Her loss of blood had weakened her, and it would be a few days
until she was back up to full strength.  If it had been anyone
else--they would have died.

She walked to her closet and dressed herself, putting on a pair of
shorts and a dark blue tank top.  Flipping on her stereo, she walked to
her mirror listening to the morning DJ announce the news.

ôFor local news, Sunnydale High School is closed for repairs.
Apparently, the generator was tampered with, causing the power to shut
off.  Officials say a wooden stake was shoved into it, causing enough
damage to keep the power out for a week.  Repairs will start tomorrow,
and hopefully the school will re-open next week.ö

Buffy smirked slightly, imagining the priceless look on SnyderÆs face
when he found out.  She looked into the mirror, brushing her hair.  Her
bare face stared back at hers, and she realized she wasnÆt wearing her
cross.

Picking up the silver cross Angel had given to her, she put it round her
neck.  Buffy grabbed the two claddagh rings and in her palm, and kissed
them, then slowly placed one on each hand.  Gazing at her reflection,
she wiped her tears away.

ôBuffy....ö a voice whispered as a gust of wind blew through her open
window.  Her skin crawled with a shudder.  < That voice...I know that
voice...>

Slowly bringing her head up, her heart stopped completely.  ôAngel!!!ö
She gasped, nearly jumping out of her skin at the site of his reflection
in her mirror.  She couldnÆt take her eyes off of him.  He stood by the
window, the angelic smile lightening up his face.  He held his hand
outstretched to her.

Buffy....ö he whispered again, urging her to come to him.

Her heart raced and she spun around, eager to see him.  Disappointment
stabbed her heart as she looked around the room to find herself alone.

She stared at the spot where he had stood, desperate to see him, but
knowing he wasnÆt there.  She turned back to the mirror, his image gone.

ôHe was there...ö Buffy said quietly to herself, trying to manage her
heartbreak.  She leaned against her dresser, thinking of the bizarre
occurrence.

ôAnd now for the number one song of the week.  The movie has been at the
top of the box office since itÆs release in December, and the song, sung
by the beautiful Celine Dione, along with the soundtrack, is number one
in America.  Here is ôMy Heart Will Go Onö from ôTitanicö.

ôEvery night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance and spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.

Near, Far, where ever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more, you open the door
And youÆre here in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on.

Buffy listened to the sorrowful melody with more of a familiarity than
she would have liked to have. Her soul ached and it felt like her
insides were being ripped from her body as a knife punctured her still
beating heart.

Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime,
And never let go till weÆre gone.
Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to.
In my life weÆll always go on.

In a fit of sobs she slammed her hand against the æoffÆ button on her
stereo, the force almost knocking the unit off the shelf.  She quickly
pulled on her white Keds and bolted out the door.  Buffy ran to the
stairs, tripping over a bag that lay in her path.  She fell down the
first two steps, but grasped onto the railing and pulled herself up.
Running down the rest of the steps, Buffy nearly knocked her mother over
as she got to the bottom.

ôHoney!  WhatÆs the matter?!ö  Joyce yelled, intensely worried.

Buffy ignored her flew open the front door.  She ran and ran, not
stopping until the pain in her body forced her to.  Looking around, she
realized she was in the park.  Her chest heaving, Buffy tried to catch
her breath between the sobs that engulfed her.

She walked to the lake that resided in the midst of a few benches,
trees, and patches of grass.  The glistening, cerulean water sparkled
under the hot morning sun.  The sky was an endless terrain of pale blue,
and the air seemed fresh with new life


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From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  2 of 44/45
Date: 07 Apr 1998 15:41:08 PDT

A: Sara B.
T: Hope
D: I don't own 'em!

2/44/45

Buffy slowly sat down on a bench, watching the ducks swim happily, like
they had no cares in the world.  Wiping her tears, she sniffled, and
took a deep breath.  ôOh!ö  She exclaimed, feeling something furry rub
against her legs.  Buffy and looked down to see a white fluffy kitten
purring heartily next to her.  She smiled, and it looked up at her,
meowing.

ôHi there, kitty,ö she said, petting its soft fur.  She picked him up,
and he rubbed his head along her cheek affectionately.  ôWhatÆs your
name?ö  She asked, feeling for a collar but finding none.

The kittenÆs eyes were like shiny pools of blue, and itÆs fur was like a
snow bank.  He purred in content as he lay on the bench beside her.
ôYou look like an Angel,ö she whispered, noticing the cats angelic
features.  ôThatÆs what IÆll call you.  Angel.ö

Buffy stood up, and stretched her legs.  A warm, tingling sensation
crept through her body.  The same feeling she got when a vampire was
near.  She turned around, finding herself alone.  Shuddering, Buffy
looked to see that the kitten was gone.  Frowning, she searched for him.
Seeing him over by a tree, she called for him.  ôHere, kitty kitty.
Here Angel.  Come here.ö

Buffy watched him trot across the street, and up the stairs of an old
church that had been deserted for some time.  ôWhy is he going in
there?ö  She asked aloud, following the small kitten.  He looked at her
from the top of the stairs, and ran in through the ajar door. She wanted
very much to follow him, but the old building slightly frightened her.

It was SunnydaleÆs oldest and largest church, strangely out of place in
the small town.  The church resembled an old 17th century gothic
cathedral.  It was built over two hundred years ago, and still stood
grandly.  Tall towers with tiers of openings and slender stone spires
marked itÆs illustrious exterior. Along the sides flying buttresses
stood out from the wall and bore pinnacles and tracery as well as carved
figures and fantastic gargoyles.  At the doors at the end of the nave,
were elaborate symbolic sculptural compositions of Biblical scenes and
saints. Above there was a huge round stained-glass rose window.  The
large doors at itÆs entrance were over ten feet tall, and were
painstakingly carved with elaborate detail.  Above the door, a phrase
was carved in the stone.  ôNon nobis, Domine, non nobis, sed nomini tuo
da gloriam,ö translated to ôNot to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your
name be glory.ö  The same was first written on the on the medieval
facade of the church of St. Hubert in Troyes.

Buffy stared at the large cathedral.  Her senses screamed for her not to
enter, but her soul was pulling her in.  She walked up the small
staircase and slowly pulled the heavy door open.  She stepped inside,
amazed at itÆs interior.

Large stained glass windows filled the room, the rich colors adding to
the splendor of the interior.  Scenes from the Bible, figures of saints,
and representations of Virtues and Vices lined the walls.  The curved
ceiling was immaculate,  and tall, details pillars gave the room an
ancient feeling.  She was reminded of the picture she saw in her history
textbook of the Pantheon in Paris.  Awe struck her as she walked down
the aisle, between the old pews.  Liturgical candles filled the enormous
room, giving off a warm glow and an inviting feeling.    At the end of
the red carpet, a crucifix was mounted on the wall, and a small table
was below it.  A small statue of the Virgin Mary sat in itÆs center,
with small white candles circling in.  A wooden cross lying in front of
it.

ôHello?  Anybody here?!ö  Buffy yelled.  ôHEELLLLOOOOO?!?!?!ö  All she
herd was the sound of her voice echoing in the cathedral.  ôI guess this
place _is_ deserted.ö  She looked at the table and walked up to it.

She stood, watching the flame on the candles dance happily.  Buffy had
never been a religious person, but something urged her to say a prayer.
Keeling, she picked up a long match out of a box that rested beside the
table.  Lighting itÆs tip, Buffy looked up at the crucifix and then at
the Virgin Mary.

Only two candles remained unlit, and she brought the flame to the first
one.  ôThis is for Angel,ö she whispered, lighting it.  It burned
brightly, the gentle radiance of the warm glow playing off her face.
She brought the flame to the second one.  ôThis is for Hope,ö she
whispered, and did the same.

Placing her palms together, she closed her eyes and quietly prayed.
ôDear God,ö she began, her voice low and steady.  ôI love Angel with all
of my heart, and right now, I feel like dying because he isnÆt with me.
He is my heart, and my soul, and I am  empty inside without him.  Please
keep him safe in heaven, and please, forgive him for what he had done.
He needs that, and so do I.ö  Her voice cracked as she weeped, her sobs
echoing in the empty church.  ôAnd please, tell him I love him, and that
I will miss him till the day I die.  Thank you.  Amen.ö

Buffy wiped her eyes, and stood up slowly.  Giving the candles one last
look,  she blew them out.  She turned to face the door, and saw the
kitten standing in front of it.  The sunlight from ceiling window shown
down on him, illuminating his presence.  She watched him watching her.
His poise proper, and his long fur blowing softly in the wind.

She walked up to Angel and he immediately rubbed against her legs
affectionately.  *Meow*  his high voice rang out to her.  She smiled,
and bent down to pick him up.  Holding the small kitten in her arms, she
rubbed his head lovingly.  She gave him a kiss, and set him back down.

ôBye, Angel,ö she said, and turned to walk away, leaving the large
cathedral.  Strolling down the street, she rubbed her arms and felt the
hot sun on her skin.  The prayer had made Buffy feel better, and for
once she was at peace with their deaths.

Angel followed her, desperately trying to keep up with her.  *Meow*
*Meow*.

She looked behind her, stopping momentarily so he could catch up.  ôDo
you want to come home with meö  She asked.

He meowed loudly, as if he could understand her.  She beamed happily.
Picking Angel up, she held him in her arms as she walked home.

Some excepts from ComptonÆs Interactive Encyclopedia
Copyright ⌐ 1993, 1994 ComptonÆs NewMedia, Inc.



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From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  45/45  THE END!!!
Date: 07 Apr 1998 15:43:58 PDT

A: Sara B.
T: Hope
D: I don't own 'em!


Part 45    PG

Giles sat in his living room, replaying the conversation with HopeÆs
parents over and over in his head.  He couldnÆt stop thinking about it.
< This is truly amazing.  GayleÆs great grandfather had been a Watcher,
and her grandmotherÆs great aunt was a Slayer >  He rubbed his aching
temples and gulped down a large glass of water.  < They knew about the
prophecy all along.  Hope was destined to save Angel, and was also
destined to die >

< Then she disappeared.  Right in XanderÆs arms >

It was an amazing thing for Giles to see.  In his lifetime, he had come
across many odd and unnatural beings, but never had a mortal just
disappear.  But then, Hope wasnÆt a mortal.

*There is something you donÆt know about Hope* Gayle said.
*What?  What is it?* Giles asked.
*She is immortal.*

Giles had been so shocked at this information he had nearly fallen off
the sofa.  Hope was immortal.  An immortal Slayer.  If she hadnÆt risked
her own life to save AngelÆs, she would have died.  It was the goodness
in her that gave her immortality.

< Well all thought she had died.  Buffy wept for her...her feeling of
guilt is overwhelming.  She will be so happy to find Hope is alive >
The smile on GilesÆ face turned into a frown.  < Or will she?  Will her
mourning over Angel affect her greatly?  Will she be able to continue
her slaying abilities? >

He began to feel distress over this, worrying that Buffy would be too
grief stricken to deal with anything.
< Her love for Angel was never questionable.  Her feelings were loud and
clear.  She loved him with all of her heart and soul.  Poor Buffy, she
is too young to have to deal with this...to young to have so much
responsibility >

Giles stood up and walked to his window.  Pulling back his curtains, he
stared into the night sky.  < So much has happened in the past two days.
All our lives have been changed.  Forever.  Will Buffy be able to get
past his death?  She is incredibly strong for her age.  A maturity well
beyond her sixteen years.  Out of all the slayers I have read about, she
has been the most incredible of them all.  She survived death, the most
dangerous opponent of all.  The one thing that Buffy canÆt fight >

Giles took a deep breath and sauntered away from the window.  He turned
off the lights and locked his door, breathing a sigh of relief at the
fact that vampires couldnÆt come in unless they were invited.  He walked
to his bedroom, and changed into a pair of pajamas.  Slipping beneath
the covers of his bed, he pulled out his Watcher diary and wrote about
the past two dayÆs events.

*****


ôGoodnight, Mom.  I love you,ö Buffy said to Joyce before entering her
room.  Angel trailed close behind at her feet.

ôGoodnight, Buffy.  I love you too.  Sleep tight...donÆt let the bed
bugs bite,ö Joyce said from the hall.

Buffy laughed.  ôMore like donÆt let the vampires bite.ö

Joyce raised her eyebrow.  ôAre you sure vampireÆs canÆt come in unless
they are invited?ö

ôPositive,ö Buffy replied.  ôSo donÆt invite anyone in the house after
dark.  That is unless I am here.ö

Nodding, Joyce walked to her bedroom.  ôSweet dreams, IÆll see you in
the morning.  Goodnight, Angel.ö

Angel meowed loudly, and Buffy smiled.  ôThanks for letting me keep
him,ö she said.

ôYour welcome,ö she responded, grinning in joy at her daughterÆs
seemingly happy mood.  < If that little kitten makes her feel better,
than he is more than welcome! >

Buffy closed her bedroom door.  She walked to her closet and changed
into boxers and a T-shirt.  Angel hopped up onto her bed, curling up on
a cozy blanket.  Buffy took off her necklace and rings, placing them
next to her bed.  She strolled over to her window, and ran her fingers
along the sill.  ôGood-bye, Angel,ö she whispered, closing her curtains.

Picking up the leather jacket he gave her, she pulled back the covers
and crawled into bed.  Angel stirred and bounced to her, nudging her
face.  She let him cozy up to her.  Buffy watched the kitten bathe
himself, and smiled.

Rolling over onto her back, she pulled her comforter up to her neck.
Buffy sighed heavily.  ôIÆm going to miss you so much,ö she whispered,
letting the tears flow freely from her eyes.  She sniffled, feeling her
empty heart tighten.  She grasped the jacket tightly, weeping...her
tears wetting her face and pillow.  Closing her eyes, she imagined him.
His smile, his laugh, his smell, his voice, his eyes.

Before long, her body relaxed and her weeping stopped.  The tight grip
she had on her jacket lessened as she drifted off into a deep sleep,
into a dream world were she and her love could be together for eternity.

Angel sat up, and hopped off BuffyÆs bed.  He trotted across her floor
to her window.  Jumping up onto the sill, he sat, watching the Slayer
sleep.  Her small body illuminated by the soft light of the moon.

He watched over her protectively...as he had done so many times before.


EL FIN

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From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  45/45  THE END!!!
Date: 07 Apr 1998 15:43:19 PDT

A: Sara B.
T: Hope
D: I don't own 'em!


Part 45    PG

Giles sat in his living room, replaying the conversation with HopeÆs
parents over and over in his head.  He couldnÆt stop thinking about it.
< This is truly amazing.  GayleÆs great grandfather had been a Watcher,
and her grandmotherÆs great aunt was a Slayer >  He rubbed his aching
temples and gulped down a large glass of water.  < They knew about the
prophecy all along.  Hope was destined to save Angel, and was also
destined to die >

< Then she disappeared.  Right in XanderÆs arms >

It was an amazing thing for Giles to see.  In his lifetime, he had come
across many odd and unnatural beings, but never had a mortal just
disappear.  But then, Hope wasnÆt a mortal.

*There is something you donÆt know about Hope* Gayle said.
*What?  What is it?* Giles asked.
*She is immortal.*

Giles had been so shocked at this information he had nearly fallen off
the sofa.  Hope was immortal.  An immortal Slayer.  If she hadnÆt risked
her own life to save AngelÆs, she would have died.  It was the goodness
in her that gave her immortality.

< Well all thought she had died.  Buffy wept for her...her feeling of
guilt is overwhelming.  She will be so happy to find Hope is alive >
The smile on GilesÆ face turned into a frown.  < Or will she?  Will her
mourning over Angel affect her greatly?  Will she be able to continue
her slaying abilities? >

He began to feel distress over this, worrying that Buffy would be too
grief stricken to deal with anything.
< Her love for Angel was never questionable.  Her feelings were loud and
clear.  She loved him with all of her heart and soul.  Poor Buffy, she
is too young to have to deal with this...to young to have so much
responsibility >

Giles stood up and walked to his window.  Pulling back his curtains, he
stared into the night sky.  < So much has happened in the past two days.
All our lives have been changed.  Forever.  Will Buffy be able to get
past his death?  She is incredibly strong for her age.  A maturity well
beyond her sixteen years.  Out of all the slayers I have read about, she
has been the most incredible of them all.  She survived death, the most
dangerous opponent of all.  The one thing that Buffy canÆt fight >

Giles took a deep breath and sauntered away from the window.  He turned
off the lights and locked his door, breathing a sigh of relief at the
fact that vampires couldnÆt come in unless they were invited.  He walked
to his bedroom, and changed into a pair of pajamas.  Slipping beneath
the covers of his bed, he pulled out his Watcher diary and wrote about
the past two dayÆs events.

*****


ôGoodnight, Mom.  I love you,ö Buffy said to Joyce before entering her
room.  Angel trailed close behind at her feet.

ôGoodnight, Buffy.  I love you too.  Sleep tight...donÆt let the bed
bugs bite,ö Joyce said from the hall.

Buffy laughed.  ôMore like donÆt let the vampires bite.ö

Joyce raised her eyebrow.  ôAre you sure vampireÆs canÆt come in unless
they are invited?ö

ôPositive,ö Buffy replied.  ôSo donÆt invite anyone in the house after
dark.  That is unless I am here.ö

Nodding, Joyce walked to her bedroom.  ôSweet dreams, IÆll see you in
the morning.  Goodnight, Angel.ö

Angel meowed loudly, and Buffy smiled.  ôThanks for letting me keep
him,ö she said.

ôYour welcome,ö she responded, grinning in joy at her daughterÆs
seemingly happy mood.  < If that little kitten makes her feel better,
than he is more than welcome! >

Buffy closed her bedroom door.  She walked to her closet and changed
into boxers and a T-shirt.  Angel hopped up onto her bed, curling up on
a cozy blanket.  Buffy took off her necklace and rings, placing them
next to her bed.  She strolled over to her window, and ran her fingers
along the sill.  ôGood-bye, Angel,ö she whispered, closing her curtains.

Picking up the leather jacket he gave her, she pulled back the covers
and crawled into bed.  Angel stirred and bounced to her, nudging her
face.  She let him cozy up to her.  Buffy watched the kitten bathe
himself, and smiled.

Rolling over onto her back, she pulled her comforter up to her neck.
Buffy sighed heavily.  ôIÆm going to miss you so much,ö she whispered,
letting the tears flow freely from her eyes.  She sniffled, feeling her
empty heart tighten.  She grasped the jacket tightly, weeping...her
tears wetting her face and pillow.  Closing her eyes, she imagined him.
His smile, his laugh, his smell, his voice, his eyes.

Before long, her body relaxed and her weeping stopped.  The tight grip
she had on her jacket lessened as she drifted off into a deep sleep,
into a dream world were she and her love could be together for eternity.

Angel sat up, and hopped off BuffyÆs bed.  He trotted across her floor
to her window.  Jumping up onto the sill, he sat, watching the Slayer
sleep.  Her small body illuminated by the soft light of the moon.

He watched over her protectively...as he had done so many times before.


EL FIN

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From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  2 of 43/45
Date: 07 Apr 1998 15:36:27 PDT

A: Sara B.
T: Hope
D: I don't own 'em!

2/43/45

Giles knocked on the large, mahogany door of the Callahan home and
nervously waited for an answer.  He shifted his feet and felt his throat
tighten up.  His heat raced and a burning sensation churned in his
stomach as the door opened.  The woman smiled at him invitingly as a man
came to stand beside her.

ôHello, Giles,ö she said.

He looked at her with an expression of the utmost shock.  Dumbfounded,
he barely managed to find the words to speak.  ôHow...how on earth do
you know who I am?ö

ôYou are the SlayerÆs Watcher.  WeÆve been waiting for you,ö she said.
ôWonÆt you come in?ö  She asked, gesturing for him to enter.

He nodded slightly, and stepped into their home.  ôI....I...ö he
stammered.

ôYou came to tell us of HopeÆs death.  We know,ö the woman said. His
shock grew intensely as he stared into the calm faces of HopeÆs parents.
ôOh!  How rude of me.  I didnÆt introduce myself.  IÆm Gayle Callahan
and this is my husband Frank,ö  she said, holding out her hand.  He
shook it timidly, not understanding what was going on.

ôDo sit down,ö Frank said, leading Giles into the large, spacious living
room.  The plush, pink carpet fit the decor of the cream colored tab
curtains and flowered wallpaper.  A large stone fireplace stood grandly,
and two sofaÆs--that matched the curtains--stood facing each other with
an oak coffee table resting between them.

Giles reluctantly sank down onto the comfortable sofa, and noticed
familiar books which lined the table.  æVampyrÆ, æThe OccultÆ, Demons in
MythologyÆ, The Slayer Handbook.  < What?! >  He took a double take and
sure enough, a copy of the handbook rested on an old book of some sort.
Leaning in for a closer look, he realized it was a WatcherÆs diary.

Frank interrupted his thoughts.  ôWe have a lot to talk about,ö he said,
watching GilesÆ expression with a slight amusement.

Giles nodded earnestly.  ôYes, we certainly do.ö


*****

ôHey Cordy,ö Xander said, entering her hospital room.

She looked into his handsome face.  ôHey,ö she said weakly.

ôHow do you feel?ö  He asked, concerned.

ôFine, except for the fact that I was in a car accident and had a stake
rammed into my thigh,ö she said sarcastically.  Xander flashed a hurt
expression.  She softened immediately.  ôIÆm sorry, Xander.ö

He smiled.  ôItÆs okay.ö

ôSo how did it go last night?ö  She asked, holding her breath with
nervousness. XanderÆs look of tragic grief made her heart race.
ôWha...What happened?ö

He took in a deep breath, pushing the shakiness out of his voice.
ôWell...uh...ö he gulped, ôHope and Angel died.ö

Cordelia choked back a sob, holding in her anguish.  ôOh no,ö she
whispered, the tears falling freely from her eyes.

Xander couldnÆt help but cry.  ôAngel killed Buffy then---ö

ôWhat?!  Oh God!ö  Cordelia cried out, sobbing.  Xander moved like
lightening to her side and held her, trying to offer comfort.

ôSshhhhhh,ö he crooned, stroking her hair softly.  ôLet me finish.
Buffy died, then Hope was in the middle of killing Angel when she ended
up saving him.  She died for that bastard,ö Xander growled, gritting his
teeth, shoving his anger aside.  ôHope then somehow gave Buffy life
again.  It was the most amazing thing.ö

Cordelia trembled.  ôIs Buffy okay?ö  She asked, grabbing a tissue.

Xander nodded.  ôYeah, she is okay.ö

ôIs everyone else okay?ö  She sniffled.

ôYeah, we are all okay,ö he said, holding her tightly.  Cordelia looked
at him, taking in the his scent, his voice, the feel of his arms around
her.  She smiled lovingly, and he leaned in and kissed her gently on the
lips.

ôI love you, Xander,ö She whispered, then opened her eyes wide realizing
what she said.  ôOh!  I..mean...I....ö  She blushed at her very
un-Cordelia like words.  < Did I just say what I think I said? >

ôI love you, too,ö he whispered back, and her expression softened.  She
smiled again with relief, and leaned her head against his chest.  < My
Xander > she thought, and relaxed, letting him comfort her.  Soon, they
drifted off into a slumber.



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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: s*bscribing
Date: 07 Apr 1998 16:45:27 PDT

How can I s*bscribe to the Bbeta and Willowfic lists?

Thanx
Sara

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: G90210 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: BBETA: Life's A Bitch
Date: 07 Apr 1998 20:01:02 EDT

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  This was just a thought I had one day.  Because Buffy has to
deal with stuff, most people don't think exist(right they don't, come on now
for my own mentalness, they don't!) What about when she has to face real
stuff, like real diseases, like AIDS.  I don't know why I thought of this, but
oh well I did.

TITLE: Life's A Bitch
AUTHOR: mInDy    ([e-mail]      or       [e-mail])
SUMMARY: I don't know how to write one to this, so read.......it's about Buffy
and Angel for those of you who it matters too.
SPOILERS: None at the moment.
TIME LINE: After S/I
IMPORTANT: Angel IS good in my story, he does has soul, and the curse can't be
broken this time.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!!
WARNING: Major character dies. Look at the title and the language will be
explained.


Life's A Bitch
by: mInDy
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


    Buffy sat in her room. *It's so quiet in here this late.*  Buffy thought, but
that thought left when she heard someone jump up on her roof.  *What the----*
She saw Angel starring at her.  Part of her felt fear run through her, cause
it wasn't so long ago, he was her enemy and wanted her dead.  The other part,
didn't know how to feel right now.  She loved him, true.  She trusted him,
false/true.  She wasn't sure yet, and she wasn't sure if she ever would be.

    "Hey," Angel said, after starring at her, wishing he knew what she was
thinking.

    "Hey," Buffy said.

    Nobody said anything else or moved, their words just hung in the air.  Both
scared to death of each other, but both madly in love.

    Buffy broke the silence, "Angel aren't you gonna......"

    "I can't remember the little....umm..." He said a little nervous, wondering
how he was gonna do this.

    "Oh yeah that." Buffy said looking down, she was just as nervous, the last
time they were alone, when he was good, was that wonderful night. "Angel,
come...."

    "Buffy, DON'T, it's to dangerous for you to do that." He said almost
screaming at her for trying to invite her in.

    "Oh ok, Angel, so were gonna.....Come In, Come In, Come In..Oooppps I said
it, sorry, guess you're gonna half to COME IN." Buffy said to him, and smiled,
trying to break the tension that was building in between them.

    Angel just rolled his eyes at her.  He loved her, and he prayed to God that
one day they could be together like before.

    When Angel got in side, he sat at the end of Buffy's bed.  He kept looking at
her.  *Man if I wasn't a vampire, my palms would be sweating very bad right
now.*

    *I guess since he ain't gonna make the first move, I will.*  Buffy leaned
over to him, and kissed him, hard.  Angel responded, immeadately.  He wanted
nothing more than this.

    When they fell on the back on the bed Angel spoke up, "Buffy, what about your
Mom?"

    "She's off at some art thing. God, Angel, I've missed you so much."

    "I've missed you, too."  It seemed like all the tension that was between
them, left without a trace.

    That night was just like before, but better, in some.  The whole damn world
could have gone to hell, and they wouldn't have cared, they were where they
wanted to be, in each other's embrace.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
TBC...........
Feedback, I live on it,  you wouldn't want me dying now would you? =o)





-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: G90210 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: BBETA: Hurting *POEM*
Date: 07 Apr 1998 20:24:39 EDT

This is a poem I wrote back when Angel was good.

Hurting
by: mInDy  ([e-mail]      or        [e-mail])

You're always there,
In the dark,
Hidden from my sight.
But I know you're there,
I can sense you there,
Just a little out of my reach,
Making sure I don't get hurt.
But don't you see?
Everyday that goes by,
And I don't see you,
Hurts more.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
FEEDBACK PPPPPLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEE

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From:    Sarah Douglas <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (4/14)
Date: 07 Apr 1998 20:40:08

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy or any of the other wonderful characters in
the Buffyverse.  I am using them without the permission of the people who
do own them who are not going to sue me because I am not making any money
off this.  Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kusui and Sandollar own the Buffy
characters.

DISTRIBUTION: Just ask.

RATING: Probably PG

FEEDBACK: I would love to know what you all think of this.  Please send me
feedback.  Pretty please.  <[e-mail]>

SUMMARY:  Okay, well this takes place while Ms. Calendar is still alive,
but Angel is evil, so probably Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.  It's
another "Angel gets his soul back" story which I wrote to convince myself
that Angel could be good again.  It's kind of long and I'm sorry about that
you all.  Well, enough with the talk, on with the show.

AUTOR'S MESSAGE:  Thanks for this part goes out to Jeanie for being so much
fun.  Thanks also goes to Candy, just for being her evil self.

On with the show

The Cure (4/14)

Buffy locked the door of her house behind her and she and Willow started
walking back to school.  They both had their arms crossed over their
chests, as if trying to protect themselves.

They walked together in silence.  A cold breeze brushed them.

"I'm so glad the sun's still out," Willow said.

"Yeah, we know when the sun goes down, the scaries come out," Buffy
replied, quickly checking to make sure the stake she always carried with
her was there.  Willow saw the motion and knowing that Buffy had a stake
comforted Willow.

Buffy was worried about Angel. <<I hate putting my friends in danger!>> she
thought. <<How can I protect them?>> she wondered.  Buffy knew she couldn't
always be with them. <<I need to figure out a way for them to protect
themselves.>> Buffy thought over her options, she could try to teach them
some self-defence, but it would take a while to teach them enough to really
be able to protect themselves and until they were good any vampire would
still be stronger.  Crosses were good, but any vampire would just knock it
out of their hands. <<If only we had something like pepper spray,>> Buffy
thought.

"That's it!" Buffy exclaimed.  Willow turned to her.

"What's it?" Willow asked.

"Nothing Will.  Ummm. . . are you okay to go the rest of the way to school
by yourself?  There's something I've got to do," Buffy explained.

"Yeah, I'll be fine.  There's still a few hours of sunlight," Willow
replied, looking at Buffy.  Willow hesitated, then added, "Buffy?  Just
promise you'll be quick."

"I promise, I'll be quick," Buffy smiled.  She leaned over and gave Willow
a hug.

"And Buffy?  Be careful."

****************

Willow felt a wave of relief as she reached the school.  She walked toward
the library.  She started to jog, she wanted to get there as quickly as
possible.  Willow opened the door to the library and felt comfort in seeing
Xander and Giles.

"Willow," Giles said with relief, then added, "Where's Buffy?"

"I'm not sure.  She said she had to do something, but she promised she'd be
here soon," Willow said.  Oz came out from Giles' office.  He saw Willow
and he gave her a hug.

"How are you doing?" Oz asked Willow.

"I'm okay," Willow replied.  "Umm, Giles, can Angel come into the library?"

"Yes, I suppose he can come in here.  Why?"  Giles replied, looking a
little puzzled at the question.

"Well, when we're doing research here at night, lots of times Buffy's out
slaying.  Angel could attack us then," Willow elaborated.

"Oh dear, I'd never thought of that.  We need to find another base of
operation," Giles said.

"Okay, we need to find another HQ.  My question is where?" Xander asked.

"We can work at my place," Oz volunteered.

"What about your parents?" Giles asked.

"Oh, no sweat.  I'm in the basement, they won't even know."

Suddenly, the door opened.  Everyone whipped around to face the door.
Buffy smiled at everyone and said:

"Look what I've got."

*******************

Jenny was cruising along the highway with a song in her heart.  She was
almost at the place her tribe was camped.  She saw the sign for her turn
and got off the highway.  She took the turns to where they were camped.
She saw the camp right ahead of here.  She turned of the ignition and got out.

<<Here goes nothing.>>

End part 4


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:The Watcher(2/?)
Date: 08 Apr 1998 08:56:16 EDT

The Watcher (2/?)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: The Watcher
AUTHOR: Jaclyn [e-mail]
RATING: PG/PG-13
SUMMARY: This takes place four years later while the Buffy gang is attending
Montague University near Sunnydale. AngelÆs soul has been permanently
restored, and he is 100% human. Jenny Calendar is still alive. Buffy will be
getting a new Watcher.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the
Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century
Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. No infringement intended.
FEEDBACK: Please be nice; IÆm still a newbie.

    Willow nearly fainted at the news of her becoming Watcher. "ThereÆs got to be
some mistake. I, I canÆt be the Watcher! The Watcher is a guy, and a, a
bookworm, and someone who isnÆt me. IÆm too young, and  IÆd be a horrible
Watcher. Pick someone else."
    Giles said, "Willow, I canÆt pick someone else. You arenÆt to young, and even
thought there havenÆt been female Watchers in the past, it doesnÆt say that
there cannot be one. The Watcher must be twenty one years of age, and you
turned twenty one last week. With the proper training, youÆll be perfectly
ready."
    Buffy sat in shock and thought. //This canÆt be happening. WillowÆs my
friend, not my Watcher. She canÆt be both; itÆs impossible. How can she train
me when she has not nearly as much strength and experience as Giles?//
 *****
    Giles didnÆt even let Willow have the rest of the day to adjust. He brought
her directly to the library to start training, for time was running out. They
worked on training techniques the whole day since that is what Willow needed
the most work on.
    "Okay, Willow, I want you to attack me."
    "Giles, I canÆt, I donÆt know how to fight."
    "Just try."
    Unconfidently, she started to attack. She threw a punch at him, which he
easily blocked. She tried kicking him, but he knocked her down onto the floor.
As her head hit the ground, a dreamlike state came over her. First, she was
teaching a medival Slayer how to read. Next, she was showing a African-
American slave Slayer new battle techniques. Then she was Merrick, watching
Buffy do cartwheels on a mat in HemeryÆs gym. Finally, she was KendraÆs
Watcher, telling her about a great evil happening in Sunnydale.
    She woke up and jumped to her feet quickly. She kicked Giles in the gut and
sent him flying across the room. She punched him in the jaw and tripped him.
He fell over and just lay there.
    "Omigod, Giles!" she cried. "IÆm so, so sorry. Are you okay?"
    "Yes, IÆll, IÆll be fine. I see youÆve found the Watcher strength."
    "The what?"
    "Though Slayer has strength she is born with, the Watcher does not. He or she
must find the strength within themselves. Once discovered, you will not lose
it until you are no longer Watcher. Unfortunately, knowledge only comes from
reading the texts and diaries. You must study them day and night."
    "Giles, what just happened to me now, something similar happened to me last
night in my dreams. I, I was the Watcher for several different Slayers."
    "ThatÆs supposed to happen. Similar to the Slayer dreams. I want you to take
these home." He handed her five large books. "These are the first Watcher
diaries. I want you to read as much as you can tonight and tomarrow. WeÆre
late on your training. Thus, we must make up for lost time." Willow started to
leave. "Oh, and you are welcome to anything in here that you might need."
    "Thank you, Gilesàfor everything."
*****
    Brrrng. Brrrrng. Brrrng. "Come on, pick up the phone."
    The answering machine went on. "You have reached Rupert Giles at 555-7529. I
am unable to answer the phone right now. Please leave your name, number and
message at the beep. I will get back to you as soon as possible."
    "Rupert, itÆs Jenny. My water just broke. Meet me down at Sunnydale General
A.S.A.P. DonÆt worry about a thing. Cordelia was with me and sheÆs giving me a
ride. Love you. Bye."

End Part 2

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Adieu my Love and Ode to Oz
Date: 08 Apr 1998 07:28:46 -0700

This is a poem I wrote a few months ago.  I was thinking about Buffy's
lost, and how she had to say good-bye.  I made it a little longer
recently and I decided to send it to the list for feedback.  So PLEASE
send feed back.  I also put in my first try at poetry about Oz.  Very
short, but I feel its too the point.  Please send feedback about that
too.

Adieu My Love
By: Taygeta

Adieu my love of demon dust,
For you are gone and I am lost.
How can it be your vessel still alive,
Cannot contain the golden heart it once had inside?

Oh, Angel, Angel in the night,
Where has your soul gone away?
Could not thy righteous soul defeat demon soul in god versus devil fight?
Did thee love me as you once did say?

In dreams that I cannot describe,
I feel your arms wrap around me tight.
The world is dark without your light,
And even day is like the night.

I hear your voice whisper to me in dreams,
My thoughts of you linger on.
And try as I might to wish such thoughts and dreams away,
I only succeed in dreaming still.

Good-bye, good-bye, my Angel in the night,
Adieu my love of demon dust.
You are gone and I am lost.
And I am only lost because I have lost you.

***************
Ode to Oz
By: Taygeta

He saw me,
Before I saw him.
He loved me,
Before I loved him.

He saw something,
And I was blind.
I saw his appearance first,
He, my spirit.

In short time,
My blind eyes did see.
I no longer met him with my eyes to his,
But rather heart-to-heart.
************************
Going with the French good-bye Fin

What did you all think?  Feedback!

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: "Reunion" note
Date: 08 Apr 1998 21:00:57 -0400

In case anybody was wondering, I've already written part 7 of reunion,
and I promise to send it to the list as soon as it's edited- Hey, I've
got a vacation coming up, and tomorrow's my last day of school for a
week, so expect a lot more fic!
-Ingrid
Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
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Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: NightHunter <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Her Darkest Hour 3 Part 1
Date: 09 Apr 1998 05:55:54 -0700

DISCLAIMER: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and its characters belong to Joss
Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, WB, and Fox.... I'm Just borrowing
them. The story is all from my deranged mind. No copyright infringement
is intended.

I Had to break it down into seperate posts it was bouncing Sorry

Ok here it is the final part of Her Darkest Hour trilogy. I hope
everyone liked it.  I enjoyed writing it, and have plans for a short
epilog.

Feedback: Let me know if you liked it

Special Thanks To Leslie

Part 1 The Light Shines (Confession Time)

As Buffy picked up the small cat she felt the need to confess her
problems, so, looking at the small cat she said, "There toward the end I
couldn't even tell the good guys from the bad guys."  Then as a tear
fell she started to sing "The Good Guys and the Bad Guys, it's amazing
how much their alike. They both act sincerely but, they are so filled
with fear they switch sides in the wink of an eye. The Good Guys and the
Bad Guys, well it ain't like ol' whyit in Dodge. You knew where you
stood
then, what was evil and good then, and the Good Guys always came out on
top.
Now who's wearing black hats and who's wearing white, who's on the side
of
justice and right. The line is so fine between Heaven and Hell, not even
a hero can tell. The Good Guys and the Bad Guys, today neither one wants
to fight fair, they keep changing the rules making everybody fools.
Until, finally nobody cares.  The Good Guys and the Bad Guys don't count
neither one as your friend, when the going gets rough they won't back
you up.
You are left all alone in the end.  Now who's wearing black hats and
who's
wearing white, who's on the side of justice and right. The line is so
fine
between Heaven and Hell not even a hero can tell. The Good Guys from the
Bad
Guys."

Buffy had just finished to find that the small cat was looking up into
her face and had a small tear rolling down it's face.  The cat slowly
placed its paws on Buffy's face and spoke to her saying "Poor Slayer."

"What! You can talk!" said a surprised Buffy.

"Yes!" answered the cat. "Now, sit down and let me tell you a story
Slayer"

Part 2 The Light Shines (Truth Revealed)

"You see Buffy, in the beginning there was only darkness, so dark for
so very long that light itself was inconceivable. This dark void was
ruled by beings that were old, before time even began," the cat said
looking up and seeing that he had Buffy's attention, he continued.

"But the light came and grew until the darkness screamed. As much in
relief as in pain. In that moment time began, mighty worlds were
created. Orbiting shinning suns on one such world there came life."

"What does this have to do with me?" said Buffy

"Listen and learn the truth," said the cat. "You see the dark ones
didn't want to give up everything. They had ruled for so very long.  So
they began a war on  the kingdom of light. From this war came a band of
fighting Mages like no one had ever seen, for they were feline." As the
cat finished tears were running down his small face.

"Are you alright?" asked Buffy, taking a piece of her torn shirt and
wiping his eyes.

"Yes!" said the cat. "Let me finish. You see these Mages were gifted
with powers like no one had seen. They led a battle against the Dark
Ones, pushing them back. But on the eve of their greatest victory came
their most shattering defeat.  You see they had become complacent in
their powers. In a last ditch effort, the dark ones attacked, but, the
Mages were able to close the gateway. At a high cost, out of one
thousand Mages, only a hundred survived.  The Dark Ones that managed to
escaped created the Vampires. They hoped that they would one day allowed
the others to return."

"So, it was decided that mankind should take up the battle to save it's
world. The remaining Mages  gathered together and using their powers
created the Slayer."

"Oh!" Said Buffy "I always wondered.... why is the Chosen One always  a
girl?"

"Because of the female maternal instance to protect," answered the  cat.

"Out of all the Slayers, you are the last hope for the human race Buffy.
You see, the remaining Mages channeled their powers, giving everything
that they had to create the last Slayer. Out of forty-five only one is
left," said the cat, his voice started to break up as he continued. "You
Buffy are that chosen one. And mankind's last best hope for victory."

"The chosen one? But, I failed worse then you did an evil witch is ready
to open the gateway, and I can't do a thing about it!"

Part 3 The Light Shines (The First Ones)

"Come Buffy, it's time you met the first ones. Each one from a different
world, maybe they can convince you that you are a hero," said the cat.
Then as he waved his paw, a bright light engulfed them. When the light
faded Buffy looked around to find that she had been transported
elsewhere.  "Wow!" exclaimed Buffy. "Xander would love this!"

>From out of the light came a man that radiated compassion.  All Buffy
could see was a red cape flowing in the air. The figure spoke "My name
is Kal-El and I am the sole survivor of a destroyed world. I was raised
by a human family even though I was alien. They treated me as their own,
and I grew up to fight for Truth & Justice."

What does that mean?" questioned Buffy.

"It means that family is one of the most important things. They will
always love you, and in their eyes, you are a hero!"

The figure faded and another one steped forward.  "My name is Peter," he
said. "And like you I tried not to be a hero. It cost me my uncle. So
remember Buffy with great powers come great responsibility."

The cat appeared once again at Buffy's side. "I still don't
understand." said Buffy

"I don't know what more I can sho-" started the cat when he was
interrupted by a female figure stepping out of the light with the wings
of an angel moving from behind a flowing red cape.

"Buffy it's time forget the others, come with me." she said holding out
her hand.

Buffy took her hand and then in a flash of light they were gone.



-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: NightHunter <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Her Darkest Hour 3 Part 2
Date: 09 Apr 1998 05:58:24 -0700

Part 4 The Light Shines (What Makes A Real Hero)

When the flash of light faded Buffy found herself standing next to wh=
at
she could identify only as an angel.

"My name is Linda, and I'm here to tell you that super powers don't m=
ake
you a hero. Look!" Linda said.

Buffy saw a firefighter running back into a burning building that has
started to fall. Just as the building collapsed she saw that the
firefighter had made it out carrying a small crying  child.

"See Buffy," explained Linda, "A hero puts the safety of others befor=
e
anything else. The firefighter had no super powers and he knew he mig=
ht
have died but, still he went back for a little girl."

"Like, that=92s his job." said Buffy.

"Very well, let's try another approach," replied Linda.

The light once again engulfed  them both. When it cleared Buffy found
herself looking down from a hill. She saw a small boy walking on a
frozen pond, the ice broke, and he fell in. She then saw people who h=
ad
been passing by stop to form a human chain. They pulled the small boy
out of the freezing water to safety.

Linda once again appears at her side. "You see Buffy, they didn't kno=
w
the child. It wasn't their job, but they risked their lives to save a
child=92s. That's all it takes to be a hero."

Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes and said "I understand now, I'm
ready to go back."

Linda waved her hand and Buffy found herself back in the alley. She t=
hen
noticed that on her arm was a crystal band. She then heard a voice in
her head, "This crystal band will help you stand against the evil one=
.
Remember that even in your Darkest Hours, when all seems hopeless and
lost that the light will always dispel the darkness in which evil
grows."

Part 5 The Light Shines (Angules)

As Buffy started to approach the warehouse where Catherine and others
were, a female vampire jumped from out of the shadows, "Well, if it
isn't the little Slayer. When I give Catherine your head everyone wil=
l
know the name of Vik-" the vampire started to say just as a stake is
driven into her heart. "Girlfriend you talk to much." said Buffy.

Buffy entered the warehouse from the roof. Moving from beam to beam  =
she
watched as Angelus stood next to the evil witch, their hands locked
together in a lovers embrace.

Buffy jumped from the beam she was standing on doing a back flip. She
landed in front of two vampires who don't even have time to notice sh=
e's
there. She then ramed a stake through each of their hearts.

Buffy turned to Catherine and said "Ok, this is between you and me. L=
et
my friends and Angel go!"

Buffy then turned to hear Angelus  laughing. He looked straight at he=
r
and said, "You little fool! Did you really think that I loved you. Th=
ere
never was an Angel. It was just a way to get a Slayer to leave me alo=
ne.
But, I must admit it was refreshing to find a virgin these days."

Buffy yelled, "No! I don't believe it.   Angel did  love me!"

Angelus turned toward Catherine, once again wearing the face of Angel=
.
"Poor Slayer, I can't believe you are so gullib--" Angelus starts to
say, but, is stopped by an arrow that has pierced his heart. Surprise
shows on his face as the turns to dust.

The other vampires turn to see Xander standing next to Buffy a crossb=
ow
in his arms. "No one! makes the girl I love cry!" Xander said as he
threw another crossbow to Buffy "Just like old times Buffster, lets
Rock-N-Roll."

When Buffy turned to catch the crossbow she looked at Xander. His dem=
on
face was showing, but in his eyes, she saw love. "Ok Xand, lock & loa=
d
lets kick some undead butt!"

Part 6 The Light Shines (The Witch)

Xander & Buffy started fighting back to back and the vampires began t=
o
fall. After they had run out of arrows they grabbed a chair, breaking
off the legs to use as stakes.

As Catherine raised her hands to cast a spell she was grabbed from
behind. She spun around to face a very mad Xander. "You hurt Buffy an=
d
that makes me mad!" growled Xander.

As Xander prepared to kill her, Catherine called out to the red werew=
olf
to attack.  The wolf leaped into the air toward Xander, who was prepa=
red
to fight for his life. When the beast suddenly changed course in mid-=
air
landing on top of the witch. It began to rip the body apart. Xander h=
ad
to turn his head. The creature ripping the witch apart had once been =
his
best friend. As Willow tore out the throat of the witch there was blo=
od
flowing everywhere.

With Catherine dead the other vampires fled into the night. Buffy cam=
e
over to stand by Xander and said "I'm Sorry Xand, I wish there was
something that I  could do."

"Just hold me Buffy, Please!" Said Xander, tears of blood running dow=
n
his face.

Part 7 The Light Shines (Out Of Darkness)

Buffy did just that. They both jumped when they heard a familiar voic=
e.
"Ok after this we really will have to step up your training."  Buffy =
and
Xander both turned to see that Giles had been turned back.

"U--uh G-guys has any one got a blanket?" the voice causes the three =
to
turn around to see a naked Willow. Xander quickly removed his cloak a=
nd
put it around Willow. "Thanks." she said.

"Hey, anything for my best bud," answred Xander.

The four heroes walked out of the dark warehouse into the light of a =
new
day. Buffy heard a cat meow and smiles. She knew that the world would
always be safe as long as there were Feline Mages.

(Epilogue) to come soon

The Song, The Good Guys & The Bad Guys that Buffy sang came from the
movie the Return of Captain Invincible. I don't remember who owns it.
The characters of Kal-El and Linda are owned by DC Comics, Peter is
owned by Marvel.



-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (4/?)
Date: 09 Apr 1998 10:44:34 EDT

Lost & Found 4

Title: Lost & Found (4/?)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = violence and graphic descriptions (no sex)
Summary: Series after Vengeance - Buffy, Xander, Willow & Giles are all
vampires.  Drusilla is making Buffy pay for supposedly killing Spike.
Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask.
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe)
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know if I suck or not. I won't care
if you tell me this story is horrible, I just want to know.

This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally
a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions
and some people may be upset by the story. There is a PG-13 rating on
this story however, there is no sex or sexual situations. Just some Buffy
like language and violence. This story will go on for a while, or until I come
up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong
to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc.

      He stood in the shadows watching her sleep.  The moon
light reflecting off her pale white face.  The night's air filled
the room.  An ice cold gust came through an open window and startled
Spike out of a daze.  After such a long time, he was starting to
loose hope that she would come.  Then one night she came, tired,
weak and full of surprises.  'A vampire? The slayer a vampire?' The whole
thing was too much for him to even contemplate.
    Buffy had been sleeping peacefully for hours. The body of
her latest meal lay lifelessly on the floor by the bed.
    "Time to get up," Spike said loudly as he walked over to
the middle of the room where she was resting.
    Buffy awoke with jump. She looked over to Spike who was standing at
the foot of the bed.  "Can't you let a girl get some sleep?"
    "No." A faint smile crossed his face. "How do you feel?"
    "Like I've been run over by an Amtrak."
    Buffy noticed Spike's strange looks. "What?"
    "I'm just trying to understand all of this.  You were pretty
groggy when you arrived."
    "Yeah, well, I got her first didn't I?"
    "True."  Spike walked over to the side of the bed and sat down.
    "You want to tell me what's going on?"
    "Well, basically here is what happened: Dru thought I killed
you so she killed my friends, turned me into a vampire and made me
kill everyone I ever knew.
    "Really?" Spike's voice was filled with pride.  "So, how do I get Dru
back?"
    "You can't."
    "What do you mean?"
    "The ritual requires the one that loves them. I don't love Angel
anymore.  After becoming a vampire, I lost interest in him, and fell
for Xander."
    "You and that...that reject?"
    "He's not such a reject anymore. He's done some serious damage.
Even killed Kendra."
    "Dru should have made you all vampires a long time ago," Spike said
with a chuckle.
    "A long time ago, Dru was barely capable of walking let alone killing
the slayer. A slayer you couldn't kill yourself if I remember correctly."
Buffy
smiled sarcastically at him.  "Have you ever thought of killing Angel?"
    "Of course I have." Spike stood up and turned his back to Buffy.
"Dru would never love me the same though."
    "Your love for eachother is repulsive!" Buffy voice was loud and harsh.
Buffy couldn't believe that another vampire could have such feelings.
    "Do you have a problem with that?"
    "As a matter of fact..." Buffy stopped, not wanting to start something
with him. "Look, we've got much bigger problems right now. Angel will be
here any minute."
    "Actually, Angel is already here." Angel slowly stepped out of the
shadows of the room.  Spike turned suddenly to face the dark figure.
    "Buffy, Buffy, Buffy, what would Xander say if he could see you now..."
    "Why did you come here?" Buffy's voice was deep and full of anger.
    "Well, I think we both know the answer to that one." Angel walked slowly
around the bed and approached Spike.
    "Hiya Spike. How could you let us think you were dead all these years?"
    "Wasn't too difficult." Spike seemed happy to have eluded all of them.
    "Well, we'll make it for real this time."

I need to know how the story's coming along, let me know!
-Michelle

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:The Watcher(3/?)
Date: 09 Apr 1998 12:05:46 EDT

The Watcher (3/?)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: The Watcher
AUTHOR: Jaclyn [e-mail]
RATING: PG/PG-13
SUMMARY: This takes place four years later while the Buffy gang is attending
Montague University near Sunnydale. AngelÆs soul has been permanently
restored, and he is 100% human. Jenny Calendar is still alive. Buffy will be
getting a new Watcher.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the
Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century
Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. No infringement intended.
FEEDBACK: Please be nice; IÆm still a newbie.

    As soon as Giles got to the house and listened to the message, he left.
//Damnit! Why did it have to be Cordelia?! I would have rather her walked than
be in a car with her. Calm down, Giles. Just drive.// And that he did.
*****
    "WhatÆs wrong, Buff?" Angel asked as he walked onto the balcony. "YouÆve been
standing outside in the rain for the past half hour. Come inside."
    "Nothing." She came back inside, her wet clothing sticking to her. "ItÆs just
that I feel like IÆm going to lose Willow. WeÆre best friends, and the Slayer-
Watcher realationship isnÆt like that. If Willow becomes my Watcher, I have a
feeling thatÆll change out whole relationship, and that isnÆt what I want."
    "Of course everythingÆll be different. Big deal. So what. YouÆll worry about
that when it comes."
    "But Angel, what if-"
    He grabbed her and passionately kissed her. She loosened up in his grip and
started to relax. "What were you going to say?"
    "Nothing. Nothing at allà" She pulled him down onto the bed and kissed him
again. "I love you." She whispered into his ear.
    ThatÆs when the phone started to ring. Brrrng. Brrrng."Let Xander get it."
*****
    "Hello?" Xander asked.
    "Xander? ItÆs Giles."
    "WhatÆs up, G-man?"
    "I, IÆm on my way to Sunnydale General Hospital. Meet me over there right
away."
    "WhatÆs wrong? Are you okay?"
    "Yes, yes. Jenny is having her baby. IÆve got to go." He hung up the phone.
    Xander ran upstairs to Willow and CordeliaÆs room, but nobody was there. He
burst into BuffyÆs room and screamed, "Mrs. CalendarÆs having the baby!"
    "Xander!" Buffy screamed as she pulled up the bed covers. "What the hell are
you doing?"
    "He covered his eyes with his hand. "Oh, God, IÆm so sorry. IÆll go tell
Willow." He ran out of the room and slammed the door.
*****
    "Willow, youÆve been reading long enough," Oz said walking up behind the
couch Willow was sitting on. "You should go to sleep. ItÆs almost midnight."
    "Oz, I am nowhere near ready to be Watcher. Ms. Calendar is going to have her
baby anyday now. I need to prepare."
    "Please." He     came up behind her and put his arms around her and kissed her.
"Just take a little break."
    "I guess the world can wait five minutes." She kissed him back and he got on
the couch too.
    "God, get a room!" Xander cried as he munched his apple.
    "Xander, do you really need to be in here right now?" Willow asked in an
agitated voice.
    He started pouting. "Fine, then I wonÆt tell you that Ms. Calendar is in
labor at Sunnydale General."
    Willow stood up and accidently knocked Oz off the couch. "No, no, no. This,
this cannot be happening. I, I, IÆm to young to be a Watcher. IÆm not ready."
    "Will, calm down," Oz mumbled as he staggered back up. "IÆll drive you to the
hospital. YouÆll talk to Giles. EverythingÆll be cool, okay?" He brushed her
hair with his hand.
    "Yeah, yeah," Willow mumbled in a daze, "everythingÆll be cool."
*****
    Due to torrential rain and heavy fog, it took them almost an hour to get to
the hospital. In the waiting room, Buffy, Cordelia, and Angel sat. Oz and
Xander sat beside them while Willow just paced up and down.
    "Jeez, Willow, now youÆre making me nervous," Cordelia spoke.
    "Shut the hell up!" she snapped. "Oh, IÆm sorry."
    With a smile on his face, Giles burst through the doors. "She had the baby.
ItÆs, itÆs a girl."
    "Congratulations, Giles!" Buffy said as she hugged him. "I know youÆre going
to make a great father."
    His eyes met hers. "Thank youàfor everything. You were a terrific Slayer,
Buffy, and IÆll miss you. But IÆve got a life to live."
    "You were a terrific Watcher. IÆll nevr forget you. Now, go, see your baby.
Have a good life."
    "Thank you. All of you, come in and see her."
    In the hospital room, Mrs. Calendar was holding her newborn baby girl when
they entered. There were "awws" and "sheÆs so cute" from everybody. Giles just
proudly stood there, beaming.
    "So, what are you going to name her?" asked Oz.
    Mrs. Calendar said, "I havenÆt really thought about it much-"
    "Buffy," inturupted Giles. "Buffy."
    Mrs. Calendar added, "No, Buffy Cordelia. Without her, I would have this baby
in my bedroom."
    Buffy spoke, "Buffy Cordelia Giles-Calendar. I like it."
    Into the room entered a nurse. "Okay, visiting time is over. Everyone out."
    "Buffy, I need to talk to you," Giles whispered as he left the room.
    They went to a corner to talk. "Buffy, in all my years as Watcher, you have
given me the most grief and the most joy. IÆll miss not being your Watcher,
but I know youÆll do fine with Willow. SheÆll make a great Watcher. What I
guess IÆm trying to say is that IÆll miss you."
    "IÆll miss you too." Tears started forming in your eyes. "ItÆll be strange
not seeing you every single day, or reluctently learning new battle
techniques. I canÆt believe you wonÆt be here tomarrow night."
    "Goodbye."
    "Bye." The hugged and parted.
    //Goodbye, Giles. Goodbye, forever.//

End Part 3

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From:    Sarah Douglas <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (4/14)
Date: 09 Apr 1998 18:03:46


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy or any of the other wonderful characters in
the Buffyverse.  I am using them without the permission of the people who
do own them who are not going to sue me because I am not making any money
off this.  Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kusui and Sandollar own the Buffy
characters.

DISTRIBUTION: Just ask.

RATING: Probably PG

FEEDBACK: I would love to know what you all think of this.  Please send me
feedback.  Pretty please.  <[e-mail]>

SUMMARY:  Okay, well this takes place while Ms. Calendar is still alive,
but Angel is evil, so probably Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.  It's
another "Angel gets his soul back" story which I wrote to convince myself
that Angel could be good again.  It's kind of long and I'm sorry about that
you all.

AUTHOR'S MESSAGE:  Okay, earning my thank you today is Aglx and Bern300.
Thanks for the positive feedback you guys.  And Bern300, try not to lose
this part =)

On with the show

The Cure (5/14)

Buffy was filling the water guns up with Holy water.

"I don't quite understand the purpose of these, Buffy," Giles said.  Buffy
picked up one.

"Well, all the slayerettes, even you Giles, carries one around, so if a
vampire attacks you, just shoot some Holy water in their eyes," Buffy
explained.

"Just like pepper spray," Willow commented.

"Yeah, but this is just a precautionary measure.  I want everyone to stay
somewhere where none of the vamps can get you," Buffy said.

"Buffy, we're going to work out of Oz's basement, because Angel can come
into the library whenever he wants," Willow told buffy, as she was putting
some of the weapons into a box.  Xander packing up books with Giles and
Cordelia.  Oz was helping Willow pack the weapons.

"Okay, what else needs to be done?" Buffy asked.

"Well, that's the last box.  Buffy would you help carry these boxes out to
Oz's van?" Giles asked, gesturing at a stack of five boxes.

"Sure," Buffy replied, picking up the stack of boxes.  "Oz, where are you
parked?"

****************

Jenny was sitting across from the elderwoman of her tribe.  Jenny sipped
her coffee.

"So, Janna, you have returned to us."

"Yes, grandmother.  I need your help," Jenny returned simply.

"It is about Angelus. . .and a girl. . .and others.  Tell me about it.
What do you need?"

"It is about Angel.  The girl is Buffy and she is the Slayer.  She loves
him, and with his soul, he loved her.  He helped them, Buffy, her watcher
and her friends.  And me.  He saved my life.  Now, they think it's my fault
he lost his soul.  I need help to restore his soul.  And I want to make it
permanent," Jenny explained, crossing her fingers, hoping they would be
able to help her.

"I knew you would come.  I have already begun the search.  I will try to
help you Janna, but I cannot cast the spell.  It must be someone who was
affected by the soul.  And they must be trained in magic."

"What does the training involve?  Can I do it?" Jenny asked.

"I was hoping you'd ask.  Come with me Janna," the elderwoman got up and
beckoned for Jenny to follow.  Jenny followed silently.

*****************

They all sat together in the back of Oz's van.  Buffy was getting nervous.
The sun was dipping down to the horizon.  They probably only had another
half an hour.

"Here we are," Oz said, pulling into the driveway.  They all jumped out and
Buffy grabbed the boxes.  Willow grabbed her bag and Xander carried Buffy's
bag.

Oz led them into the house and down to the basement.

"Are you certain it's okay for us to be here?" Giles asked.

"Yeah, like I said, no sweat," Oz replied.

"I'd feel better if we all stayed here tonight.  Is that okay with you Oz?
I just don't want anyone going out between sunset tonight and sunrise
tomorrow," Buffy said.

"Sure, no problem.  You guys can stay as long as you want.  My mom's out of
town visiting relatives and my dad works nights," Oz answered.

"Let's unpack then."

End part 5

What did you think?  Send feedback (any feedback)  to
<[e-mail]>

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: JJ Angel5 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: OT: Proofreader.
Date: 09 Apr 1998 20:10:22 EDT

Hello,

Sorry to disrupt the list. I has about 5 proofreaders reading my non-Buffy
story (about 6 teenagers who get in an accident on the way to a ski lodge for
Winter Break) and somehow I lost there names. If anyone on the list was
reading it, or would like to. Please contact me. Thank you!

Jessica

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From:    Sarah Douglas <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (6/14)
Date: 09 Apr 1998 21:47:24


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy or any of the other wonderful characters in
the Buffyverse.  I am using them without the permission of the people who
do own them who are not going to sue me because I am not making any money
off this.  Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kusui and Sandollar own the Buffy
characters.

DISTRIBUTION: Just ask.

RATING: Probably PG

FEEDBACK: I would love to know what you all think of this.  Please send me
feedback.  Pretty please.  <[e-mail]>

SUMMARY:  Okay, well this takes place while Ms. Calendar is still alive,
but Angel is evil, so probably Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.  It's
another "Angel gets his soul back" story which I wrote to convince myself
that Angel could be good again.  It's kind of long and I'm sorry about that
you all.

AUTHOR'S MESSAGE:  To start with, I labelled the last part wrong, it was
actually part 5, not part 4.  Anyways, this dedication is going out to
Jeanie the Tortoise-Fly, and to all my fellow Canadians on the list.  If
you are Canadian, e-amil me, I want to know how many of us there are.  To
everyone, don't expect any more parts until Monday, I'm going on vacation.

On with the show

The Cure (6/14)

Angel paced back and forth, eagerly awaiting sunset.

"Angel, love.  Come out and play," Dru said through the door.

"Coming Dru," Angel replied.  He didn't really love Dru.  He never really
had.  She'd just been an obsession.  But he never got tired of making Spike
jealous.  It was so easy.

"What do you want to play Dru?" Angel asked.  He came out of the room and
grabbed her hands.

"I want to dance, but Spike wont' dance with me."

"I'll dance with you Dru," Angel replied, grabbing Dru and spinning her
into the main room where spike was sitting in his chair.

Spike glared at Angel as he spun Dru and she laughed.  When they came to a
stop, Dru walked over to Spike.

æWhat do you want to eat tonight Spike?  Someone young?  Someone old?" Dru
asked him.

"What I want is to be able to hunt for myself again."

"To bad you're in the chair Spike.  I'm going to get Buffy a present.  The
body of a certain red-haired hacker," Angel said.

"Can I come Angel?  Can I?" Dru asked, getting excited.

"Sure, baby.  As soon as the sun sets," Angel smiled, taking satisfaction
in Spike's anger.

*****************

Jenny fell into a chair, completely exhausted.  The training the elderwoman
had spoken of was physically tiring.

"Take a break Janna.  Have something to eat and get a drink.  Our work is
difficult, but we're almost through.  I will find out how far they are in
finding the spell.  We will meet here in half an hour," the elderwoman
walked off.

Jenny remained in her chair. <<Wow, this is much harder than I expected.>>

A few moments later a woman walked in carrying a tray.  The woman was
younger than Jenny.

"Here Janna.  The elderwoamn told me to give this to you.  She said you
would be hungry.  I'm Alice, by the way.  How are you feeling?" Alice asked.

"I'm okay.  Tired, but okay.  Thanks for the food."  Jenny started eating.
She polished off every crumb.

"Wow, you must have been really hungry."

"Yeah, the training is pretty intense."

"Why are you doing the training?" Alice asked.

"I need to cast a spell," Jenny replied simply.

"What spell?  Why?  To whom?  Oh, I'm sorry, I really don't have any right
to ask you all these questions."

"That's okay.  I guess a lot of people are curious.  I just show up here,
out of the blue and immediately plunge into training.  You have heard the
stories of Angelus?"

"Of course.  Everyone in the tribe knows the stories."

"Well, I was sent to watch him.  To make sure the curse still held.  In the
process, I got to know both him and a group of people he was involved with.
 Angel saved my life.
"However, when we gave him his soul, the curse had a small flaw.  If Angel
experienced even a moment of true happiness, he would lose his soul.  Angel
loved a girl, but now that his soul is gone, he's breaking her heart.  I
want to make it up to her by restoring his soul."

Alice nodded, and without a word, she leaned froward and gave Jenny a hug.
Alice picked up the tray.

"Good luck."

****************
The vampire who stood on watch to wait for sunset came into the room.

"The sun is down," he announced and left the room.  Angle smiled and jumped
off the table he had been perched on.  Dru got up from her chair next to
Spike.

"Let the games begin," Angel said, grabbing Dru's hand.  Spike looked upset.

 "Don't worry Spike, we'll bring you something nice," Angel reassured
Spike.  Angel picked Dru up and swung her around by the waist.

"Let's party!"


End part 6


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (8/?) by Ingrid
Date: 09 Apr 1998 15:49:09 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia,
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: ACK!!!! I'M OFFICIALLY ON VACATION NOW!!!!
=) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Can you tell I'm happy?)

WeÆre back with Buffy and Giles now.

Welcome to my story. This one might
be a tad difficult to understand at first, since it takes place
ten years into the future, and IÆm not telling you whatÆs
happened in advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time
goes on in the story. I love to get feedback, except when
my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you want
to get this, ask me for them!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Eight: "Phone Chain"
*********

"Hello?"

Buffy threw a few shirts into a large suitcase and motioned
for Angel to do the same. "Giles? This is Buffy again. Listen,
I talked to Cordelia, and she said-"

"She called me, Buffy."

Buffy was secretly relieved. "Oh! Are youà"

"Yes, IÆm coming. I know itÆs important. In fact, it sounds
extremely important. I hope we can be of use to her and the
new slayer."

"What did she tell you?"

"Just a Latin prophesy similar to-"

The baby was crying again, and Angel left the room quickly.

"Similar to what?"

"What was that sound?"

"Oh, thatÆs just Wi-"

"What?"

Buffy sat down, and the cries were still. "Oh my God. I
never told you, did I?"

"What didnÆt you tell me?"

She waited. "That was my daughter, Giles."

"Buffy, why didnÆt you tell-" He stopped mid sentence as the
answer and the past came rushing back to haunt him. "Oh."

"You can uhà say hello at CordeliaÆs."

"YouÆre bringing her?"

"Family vacation. We donÆt get out much. Hey- maybe if we get
this puzzle solved soon enough, we can go skiing or something!"

"Buffy, my leg."

"Oh. Well IÆm sure we can find something to do," she covered,
smiling even though he couldnÆt see her, "So what were you
saying? A Latin prophesy about what?"

"ItÆs quite complicated. A bit too complicated to explain over a
long-distance phone call, IÆm afraid."

"Oh, thatÆs right! I almost forgot where you are. ItÆs just hard
to believe youÆre so far away."

Silence followed.

"ItÆll be nice to see each other again," Buffy offered.

"Yes," he agreed brusquely, "Well, I donÆt want to
hold up your packing. I have some to do myself,
actually."

"Okay. IÆll see you there."

"Yes. Goodbye."

"Goodbye," she whispered into the receiver.

****
END, PART EIGHT
Send all your comments to me at [e-mail]


Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (7/?) by Ingrid
Date: 09 Apr 1998 15:40:57 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia,
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: This one deals with Xander and CordeliaÆs
relationship quite a bit.

Welcome to my story. This one might
be a tad difficult to understand at first, since it takes place
ten years into the future, and IÆm not telling you whatÆs
happened in advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time
goes on in the story. I love to get feedback, except when
my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you want
to get this, ask me for them!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Seven: "Picture Window"
*********

Xander sunk into the overstuffed armchair and watched the
flurries weave circuitous paths to the ground outside the huge
picture window. The gently sloped landscape spread for miles
in all directions, pure and untouched. Inside it was warm, but
not particularly cozy. The ceilings were high, and the room
bare and contemporary. The only furniture in it was the chair,
a sofa, and a long, black and glass coffee table.

He hadnÆt turned the lights on, and the bluish glow from
outside was creeping into the place, making it cold and
uncomfortably large. He pulled his sweater closer for warmth.
He didnÆt think heÆd ever get over how cold it was here, having
lived in Sunnydale all his life.

"Of the past!" His wifeÆs voice was exuberant, drawing his
eyes back towards the kitchen, where light was dispersing the
darkness near the arc of the open door. TheyÆd been working
like this all day, occasionally speaking out in joyous tones when
they were able to translate something. Most of the time, though,
there was simply silence.

He scribbled something down in his notebook and mused on it
for a while. Then he looked outside the picture window again.
The snowflakes were really accumulating. They might have a
storm on their hands tonight. He shivered and closed his small
computer.

He rested his head on the back of the chair and closed his
eyes. Even their murmuring had died down now, and there
was nothing.

After a few seconds had ticked by, he heard the door open,
a quick goodbye, and then it shutting yet again. A car pulled
out of the driveway mechanically; smoothly.

Soft footsteps approached, and he felt a delicate arm around
his shoulders. He let her lift the tiny computer and the notebook
from his lap, and set them on the table.

She slipped next to him on the chair and buried her head in his
sweater.

He drew her to him with one arm, and watched the falling snow
over her shoulder. Something red darted across a far off hill.

A rabbit seeking shelter from this bitterly cold weather, he
guessed, and sighed. He looked back at Cordelia.

Her tired eyes were closed, and her arms loose around him.
She was breathing shallowly; gently.

At last, she rested.

That was when the cell phone on the table rang sharply.
Cordelia mumbled something unintelligible. He picked
up after 4 rings, figuring that whoever it was that was
calling wasnÆt planning on giving up.

"Hello?" He spoke flatly into the phone, with a tone that
was almost complaining.

"Xander?"

He jumped at hearing her voice, which woke Cordelia
up again.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah. ItÆs me. Listen, I donÆt want to bother you, but is
Cordelia available by any chance?"

He looked at his wife, who was now bolt upright in the
chair, worlds of worry on her tired face.

"Yeah, sheÆs here," he sighed, and handed the phone
over.

"Buffy?" He watched her pull the tangled hair back from
her face as she anxiously stood up.

He watched her absorb the information, looking
distant, thoughtful, and agitated.

"Buffy, weÆve just read a prophesy- Corin and I have
been having the dreams. You have to come up here
as soon as possible. Do you have any vacation time?"

She waited.

So Buffy was going to show up again. He thought
about what it would be like seeing her in the big
house. Maybe they could forget what had happened.

Or maybe they wouldnÆt be able to, and theyÆd just
stand there awkwardly, still wishing *she* was alive.

"YouÆve got to get Giles to come too," she answered
into the phone, "Tell him itÆs necessary. Tell him itÆs
important."

Minutes passed reluctantly, and he found his gaze
drifting back to the snow on the hill. The rabbit was
gone.

He heard the beep that meant sheÆd hung up.

"SheÆs coming in two days."
*****
END, PART SEVEN
Send all your feedback to [e-mail]

Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (7/?) by Ingrid
Date: 10 Apr 1998 00:10:25 -0400

Hmm... I don't think this part mailed correctly,
because I didn't get it myself, and I got part eight.
Forgive me if this is a reprint! =)
-Ingrid

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia,
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: This one deals with Xander and CordeliaÆs
relationship quite a bit.

Welcome to my story. This one might
be a tad difficult to understand at first, since it takes place
ten years into the future, and IÆm not telling you whatÆs
happened in advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time
goes on in the story. I love to get feedback, except when
my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you want
to get this, ask me for them!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Seven: "Picture Window"
*********

Xander sunk into the overstuffed armchair and watched the
flurries weave circuitous paths to the ground outside the huge
picture window. The gently sloped landscape spread for miles
in all directions, pure and untouched. Inside it was warm, but
not particularly cozy. The ceilings were high, and the room
bare and contemporary. The only furniture in it was the chair,
a sofa, and a long, black and glass coffee table.

He hadnÆt turned the lights on, and the bluish glow from
outside was creeping into the place, making it cold and
uncomfortably large. He pulled his sweater closer for warmth.
He didnÆt think heÆd ever get over how cold it was here, having
lived in Sunnydale all his life.

"Of the past!" His wifeÆs voice was exuberant, drawing his
eyes back towards the kitchen, where light was dispersing the
darkness near the arc of the open door. TheyÆd been working
like this all day, occasionally speaking out in joyous tones when
they were able to translate something. Most of the time, though,
there was simply silence.

He scribbled something down in his notebook and mused on it
for a while. Then he looked outside the picture window again.
The snowflakes were really accumulating. They might have a
storm on their hands tonight. He shivered and closed his small
computer.

He rested his head on the back of the chair and closed his
eyes. Even their murmuring had died down now, and there
was nothing.

After a few seconds had ticked by, he heard the door open,
a quick goodbye, and then it shutting yet again. A car pulled
out of the driveway mechanically; smoothly.

Soft footsteps approached, and he felt a delicate arm around
his shoulders. He let her lift the tiny computer and the notebook
from his lap, and set them on the table.

She slipped next to him on the chair and buried her head in his
sweater.

He drew her to him with one arm, and watched the falling snow
over her shoulder. Something red darted across a far off hill.

A rabbit seeking shelter from this bitterly cold weather, he
guessed, and sighed. He looked back at Cordelia.

Her tired eyes were closed, and her arms loose around him.
She was breathing shallowly; gently.

At last, she rested.

That was when the cell phone on the table rang sharply.
Cordelia mumbled something unintelligible. He picked
up after 4 rings, figuring that whoever it was that was
calling wasnÆt planning on giving up.

"Hello?" He spoke flatly into the phone, with a tone that
was almost complaining.

"Xander?"

He jumped at hearing her voice, which woke Cordelia
up again.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah. ItÆs me. Listen, I donÆt want to bother you, but is
Cordelia available by any chance?"

He looked at his wife, who was now bolt upright in the
chair, worlds of worry on her tired face.

"Yeah, sheÆs here," he sighed, and handed the phone
over.

"Buffy?" He watched her pull the tangled hair back from
her face as she anxiously stood up.

He watched her absorb the information, looking
distant, thoughtful, and agitated.

"Buffy, weÆve just read a prophesy- Corin and I have
been having the dreams. You have to come up here
as soon as possible. Do you have any vacation time?"

She waited.

So Buffy was going to show up again. He thought
about what it would be like seeing her in the big
house. Maybe they could forget what had happened.

Or maybe they wouldnÆt be able to, and theyÆd just
stand there awkwardly, still wishing *she* was alive.

"YouÆve got to get Giles to come too," she answered
into the phone, "Tell him itÆs necessary. Tell him itÆs
important."

Minutes passed reluctantly, and he found his gaze
drifting back to the snow on the hill. The rabbit was
gone.

He heard the beep that meant sheÆd hung up.

"SheÆs coming in two days."
*****
END, PART SEVEN
Send all your feedback to [e-mail]


Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (10/?) by Ingrid
Date: 10 Apr 1998 23:45:28 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia,
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: Yeah! IÆm happy. Today is OFFICIALLY
the first day of my vacation!!! That means that this one
is kind of an "upper," at least compared to the more
recent parts. YouÆll like this one. IÆve included some
sarcastic humor. Heh heh...what's humor?

Welcome to my story. It takes place ten years into the
future, but IÆm not telling you whatÆs happened in
advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time goes on in
the story. I love to get feedback, except when my
mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you want
to get this, ask me for them!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Ten: "Getting There"
*********

Buffy struggled with the plastic wrapped utensils as the
pilotÆs voice came over the loudspeaker: "And now were
passing over Skyville, home to theà"

Damn. She could think of several vampires that had been
easier to take care of than this.

Angel was nonchalantly poking at his food in the chair next
to her, having had more success with the stubborn  packaging.
He always poked at his food. Right now, though, it was getting
really annoying. She was hungry, and she wanted to rip the fork
out of his hand and use it herself. With one last effort, she
yanked the wrapping open, and the plastic knife hit Angel in
the arm.

He looked at her briefly, and without saying a word, turned back
to his food.

She picked up the knife.

Where was the fork?!

She growled and stabbed the knife into the lifeless chicken breast.
Fine. With or without the fork she was going to eat.

Where had all this aggression come from, anyway?

Anxiety, maybe?

The chicken was a bit *too* chewy. With a short huff of anger, she
shoved the tray back onto the shelf in front of her. Her stomach
growled, but she ignored it.

She refused to admit she was nervous. After all, it was only Xander
and Cordelia,

and Gilesà

That was the problem. Their phone conversations hadnÆt exactly been
the friendliest theyÆd ever had. Certainly the most awkward, though.

Suddenly the lights dimmed, and she looked up. The movie was
starting. Damn. She hated these things. They always played some
lame black and white horror film, or worse yet, a romance.

She glanced back at angel he was setting his tray down on the shelf
with one hand, and the baby had the other hand occupied, clutching
his index finger from her child-seat. Neatly, he set his utensils down
and turned his attention to Willow, who was now making little
gurgling sounds and getting shushed by the other passengers.

Buffy reached under the seat and unzipped the duffel-bag a little,
pulling out a warm bottle of milk. She nudged Angel and handed
him the bottle. In moments, Willow was both pacified and sleepy,
and the passengers seemed to think it was a good combination.

Buffy was surprised when Angel turned to her and asked, "So, are
you nervous?"

"Why would you say that?"

"I wouldnÆt. Just a question. To tell you the truth, I donÆt think
theyÆll be too happy to see me. Maybe I shouldnÆt have come."

"No, Angel." She patted his shoulder in reassurance. "YouÆre a part
of my life." Looking at the baby, she added, "You two are a part of
my life, and sooner or later, Giles is gonna have to accept it. You.
Us. HeÆs just hurting."

"I know. I could never blame him for it. How would I feel in his
place. I think it was a miracle that he could have even stood in the
same room with me without going insane."

"Giles is a good person, and heÆll come around. I know it."

"I hope so."

The music struck a violent, cheesy chord, and Buffy looked up to
see a goofy-looking man with plastic fangs rising from a coffin.

Dracula.

How appropriate. She dropped her head to AngelÆs shoulder and
groaned.

"Just my luck."

*******
END, PART TEN.
Some feedback each day keeps the badfic away ([e-mail])!

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (9/?) by Ingrid
Date: 11 Apr 1998 00:08:01 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia,
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: WeÆll get to hear from Cordelia in this one.
This is the last angsty one. The next to parts will be fun,
so just read this and stop your complaining! <g>

Welcome to my story. It takes place ten years into the
future, but IÆm not telling you whatÆs happened in
advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time goes on in
the story. I love to get feedback, except when my
mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you want
to get this, ask me for them!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Nine: "Reflections"
*********

Cordelia extricated herself from his arms. Her feet hit the cold
floor and she shivered, stepping out into the airy sitting-room
and leaning against the white wall.

Cold. The wood floor was cold, the wall was cold, and the black
leather armchair she slipped into was colder.

She got up again.

It was dark outside the great window, where her image was
superimposed on a backdrop of stars.

The eyes were dark and tired, and stars outlined her hair in
gold.

She took a wobbly breath and backed away- how sheÆd
changed!

She remembered some faces vaguely- Her father, right before
heÆd passed away, bitterly bemoaning his fate; WillowÆs terrified
expression even in death; and their grief-stricken faces at the
funeral.

Latin phrases danced in her head as fresh memory played back
in her mind. The gentle light, her mission, their words, her
mission, the line, her mission. It was always about her mission
these days.

She looked back at the bedroom door mournfully. She was
surprised everyday when he didnÆt emerge from that door with a
suitcase and tell her he was leaving. SheÆd seen it in her head a
thousand times and sighed late at night, while he slept. She hadnÆt
been getting much sleep for the past year: her job was finally
taking its toll.

And she felt nothing but pain and an endless responsibility.
Moments of sanity were rare now, and she took little time to
consider anything else but duty.

She rubbed her temples to relieve the headache sheÆd endured
all day and pulled out the pile of books from the shelf.

*Might as well get some work done, if IÆm not going to get
any sleep.*

The translation had been one of the most difficult tasks sheÆd
had to perform so far. Corin had been useful, as always, but
now she was probably curled asleep in bed,

Logarithms and cosines dancing in her headà

The ease with which the girl had accepted her fate never ceased
to amaze the new watcher. SheÆd slain demons as easily as
sheÆd help her mother wash the dishes, or practice her viola. It was just
another
thing she did.

Cordelia smiled at her innocence and strength. Something sheÆd
lost over the years. She felt like an old woman, and it surprised
her to see the brunette in the mirror each morning looking back
at her.

The watcher looked back down at her book. She wasnÆt getting
any work done. Funny. It was the thought of her responsibilities
that were keeping her from them.

She closed the cover, capable of neither sleep nor research.

Her feet were getting numb tucked up under her. She stood
shakily, and reentered the bedroom.

It was pitch dark except for the red glow of an LCD- the alarm
clock, with the little dot that meant sheÆd be waking up at
six-thirty tomorrow.

With a decisive air, she clicked a button, and the little dot was
gone. She sunk into bed like a body being gently lowered into
the ground.
********
END, PART NINE
Send feedback to [e-mail] please!

Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" Note
Date: 11 Apr 1998 00:24:04 -0400

Regarding part 10:

I'd like to apologize for the grammatical errors. I wrote it very, very
quickly, and I meant to send it to my editor, but somehow I ended up
sending it to the list by mistake. I saw it in the digest and banged my
head against the desk repeatedly. Whatever anybody tells you, I am not
illiterate, really!
-Ingrid

Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:The Watcher(4/?)
Date: 11 Apr 1998 11:55:44 EDT

The Watcher (4/?)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: The Watcher
AUTHOR: Jaclyn [e-mail]
RATING: PG/PG-13
SUMMARY: This takes place four years later while the Buffy gang is attending
Montague University near Sunnydale. AngelÆs soul has been permanently
restored, and he is 100% human. Jenny Calendar is still alive. Buffy will be
getting a new Watcher.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the
Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century
Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. No infringement intended.
FEEDBACK: Please be nice; IÆm still a newbie.
    Buffy slept fitfully. She woke up, startled, put her hand to her head. She
reached over to her lamp, turned it on, and let out a sigh. She took her glass
from her nightstand for a drink, but found it nearly empty. She got up to fill
it.
Buffy came out of her room holding the glass and walked down the hall. Behind
her Drusilla stalked her. Buffy opened the door to the bathroom and suddenly
found herself at the Bronze. A slow ballad, played. Buffy ventured
in.
She found Oz sitting at a table with a large cup of cappuccino and
an organ grinder's monkey. To the monkey, he says, "L'hippo a pique' ses
pantalons." (The hippo stole his pants.)
The monkey on the table squeaked. Buffy walked up to the table and looked at
Oz curiously. He smiled at her and waved. Buffy raised her hand back, but
remained confused about the monkey.
Buffy continued on and found her Xander holding a large cup and saucer. He saw
her coming and turned to face her. "Do you really think you're ready, Buffy?"
he asked.
"What?"
He dropped the saucer, and Buffy watched it fall. It shattered on the floor.
He just turned and slowly walked away. Buffy watcheed him go, then looked
around the room again.
She walked past Oz again and through the crowd to the stage. It's empty, no
band tonight. She turned around and smiled warmly. Angel and Willow stood at
the pool table. He smiled and started toward her. Buffy began to walk toward
him.
Drusilla suddenly appeared behind Angel. She is vamped out, and thrusted a
stake into his back and pulled it out. He arched backward in pain.
"ANGEL!"
They reached out for each other. Before she could touch him his hand began to
disintegrate to dust. The rings on his fingers fell to the floor. His body
didnÆt explode like most vampires', but just crumbled to dust. Drusilla
lowered the stake and took the few steps toward Willow. She sunk her fangs
into WillowÆs neck and lowered the stake.
"IÆm back, Buffy."
"No, Willow! Angel!" she shrieked.
    "Buffy, IÆm here." Buffy awoke, Angel lying next to her. "ItÆs okay. IÆm
right here."
    "Angel, it happened again, the dreams!"
    "What dreams?"
    "Remember when I almost 17 I had the dreams about you dying and Drusilla
being alive? Then it all came true. Well, I had the exact same dream, just
with different people. You and Willow died, and Drusilla was alive. Angel, I
killed Drusilla three years ago. SheÆs alive again, and you and Willow are
going to die die.  ItÆs a sign;  a sign that something terrible is going to
happen again. Angel-" Tears fell down her red cheeks.
    "Shh, shh. ItÆs going to be okay."
    "You canÆt know that. You said it yourself at the docks, æWe canÆt be sure of
anything.Æ Angel, I lost you once. I canÆt lose you again."
    "And you wonÆt. I wonÆt let it happen. IÆll protect you."
    "Angel, you canÆt. You couldnÆt protect me last time, and you canÆt protect
me now. No one can stop this from happening; my dreams about the master came
true. The dreams I had about you and Drusilla came true. Now these dreams will
come true."
    "WeÆll just talk to Gi-" he paused, "Willow. SheÆll be able to help you."
    "Angel, this is her first day on the job. She hasnÆt been trained properly,
and isnÆt ready for this."
    "Buffy, Giles is gone. Willow is here. YouÆre going to have to learn to trust
her as your Watcher, or your friendship is over."
    "But how can I? Giles and Merrick were both so old, so experienced. And not
just in their duties but in life. Willow is so much more unexperienced, so
much younger. Hell, sheÆs even younger than I am. How can I just forget all
about Giles and trust Willow like sheÆs as good as him?"
    Willow appeared in the door way, "Thanks for having such confidence in me.
Buffy, I thought I was your friend." She quickly turned away and ran down the
hall."
    "Oh, God, what have I done?"

End Part 4

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Angel's Lover" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repost query...
Date: 11 Apr 1998 11:03:10 PDT


Sorry to butt in here.. but I posted a story a few months back called Sla=
yer Be Slain.. in the last several months I have reworked and rewrote a =
lot of the story, and I think it was much better.. so I was wondering if =
anyone would mind if I posted the new version.. I'm only asking cause I =
didn't want to inflict an already read story upon the masses. :)  Let me =
know if it's okay to repost!


Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea)
"Love makes you do the wacky!"
"When you kiss me I want to die."
"I'm SO the net girl!"

Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs!



-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: G90210 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: BBETA: Time Will Tell *Poem*
Date: 11 Apr 1998 12:34:13 EDT

This is just a poem I wrote one day. It's suppose to be about Buffy, but I
guess it could fit in any of the other character you want, but that's up to
you.  FEEDBACK PLEEEEAAAASSSSEEE!!!!!!! It's the only way, I'll now if I'm
doing good........or bad.


Time Will Tell
by:mInDy

Do you know what you do to me,
Everytime we touch,
Everytime we kiss.
Your love is the one thing
  keeping me sane.
I know I'll have what's meant to be,
Only time will tell what that is.
Maybe it's you,
Maybe it's another,
Maybe it's death.
I'll just wait for time to speak up.

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Andrea Newbery" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Vampires Anonymous, (1/5) by Andrea
Date: 11 Apr 1998 12:37:46 PDT

Title: Vampires Anonymous
Author: Andrea Newbery
e-mail: [e-mail]
Distribution: sure, as long as I know where.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: everything up to KbD
Summary: I have been spending way too much time thinking about Angel's
soul or lack thereof. That is not actually in the story but it is still
true. Anyway I was thinking way to much on how Angel will get his soul
back and I started thinking that it might be interesting if, say Willow
found the ritual and performed it but made a slight mistake and restored
the souls of everyone in the factory with Angel.  So I decided to see
what would happen.
Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Buffy et al. are the property of
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB and whoever elseà No copyright
infringement intended. Please don't sue me I'm already up to my neck in
debt!
Feedback: Please...good, bad, whatever!





"Angel, if you don't get over this self-pity gig and go to the meeting I
may just change my mind on your existence and finish you off" Buffy
stood glaring at her morose boyfriend. "That's why we started this
group, to help you all deal with what happened to you."
"Butà"
"Angel that's it, I'm going to the meeting, I'm in charge of snacks."
With that she stomped out of his apartment totally fed up with
him...again.

Twenty minutes later she arrived at the library lugging two huge jugs
filled with red liquid. She proceeded to slam them onto the table and
throw herself into one of the softer chairs in the library.
"Angel still giving you problems?" Giles came into the library carrying
extra chairs from the gym.
"Giles, I don't get it, why won't he participate, everyone else is
finding it really helpful." Buffy stared at the table as if it knew the
answer and wasn't talking. (Incidentally it did know the answer and no
it wasn't talking).
"Angel already regained and lost his soul once before, it's probably
harder for him to accept that it happened again." With that Giles
dropped off his load of chairs and headed out for the next pile. Buffy
sat staring at the table for a while longer then got up and started
moving things out of the way for the chairs to be set up. Xander and
Cordelia came strolling in carrying stryofoam cups and paper plates. "
Hey Buff where's Angel, home sulking?"
Buffy just glared at him and continued setting up the chairs. After
their usual quick fight Xander and Cordelia came over to help.
"So, how many are we expecting for tonight, the usual twenty or has
Willow resouled more vamps so we can start our own chain of vampire
counseling centers and become filthy rich?" Xander smiled at his own
joke.

"Xander, do we have to go through this every week, yes the normal twenty
will be here, and no of course Willow didn't do the ritual again, you
know the disc was bad and she lost half the ritual!" She stood there
glaring at him glad to have a focus for her frustration.
Cordelia finished putting the chairs in rows and turned back to them.
"Buffy reallyàyou shouldn't get frustrated like that your face gets all
wrinkly and before you now it you're going to look way older than you
already are. And since your boyfriend is never going to age that is
something your going to want to hold off as long as possible."

"Gee thanks Cordy 'cause my dayàlife isn't already going bad enough."
Glaring at the both of them she grabbed the jugs of red liquid and
peered curiously at them,
 "How am I supposed to be able to tell which one is which because I will
not be tasting it!"
"I will."
"Angel, you came!" Buffy smiled joyfully at him while Xander and
Cordelia stared at him surprised.
"So deadboy comes out of hiding, glad to see you again, which is as much
of a surprise to me as I'm sure it is to you."
"Thanks Xander, although I must admit I was counting on you to convince
Buffy she should dump me so I could go back to the whole brooding guilt
thing."

"I tried man, I triedàI even tried to get her to stake you but no such
luck." Xander peered anxiously at Angel to see how he would handle a
little teasing and was relieved to see Angel staring at him with his ' I
could kill you' look.  Xander just smiled at him and went back to
arranging the library while Angel taste-tested the jugs.
"Buffy, where did you get this junk?" Angel was staring at her with a
very pained look on his face.

"Willie, he said it was fresh stuff" Buffy replied.

"Freshà. This was fresh when I was human, I'll go get some more, this
stuff could cause a vamp to fall off the no human wagon."
 Angel then did his thing where he wasn't there as they all stood around
thinking a joke, did no fun, guilt-ridden Angel actually attempt a joke.
Admittedly a lame joke but still a joke. Simultaneously they then
decided that no he probably actually meant it. With a group sigh they
all went back to what they were doing.



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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Andrea Newbery" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Vampires Anonymous, (2/5) by Andrea
Date: 11 Apr 1998 12:42:11 PDT

Title: Vampires Anonymous
Author: Andrea Newbery
e-mail: [e-mail]
Distribution: sure, as long as I know where.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: everything up to KbD
Summary: I have been spending way too much time thinking about Angel's
soul or lack thereof. That is not actually in the story but it is still
true. Anyway I was thinking way to much on how Angel will get his soul
back and I started thinking that it might be interesting if, say Willow
found the ritual and performed it but made a slight mistake and restored
the souls of everyone in the factory with Angel.  So I decided to see
what would happen.
Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Buffy et al. are the property of
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB and whoever elseà No copyright
infringement intended. Please don't sue me I'm already up to my neck in
debt!
Feedback: Please...good, bad, whatever!


Angel was strolling back to the library with his two bottles of actually
fresh cow and pig blood when he ran into Willow, literally. Well not
exactly literally since he wasn't actually running, on the other hand
she was.

"Hey, Willow, what's the rush?"

"Oz was supposed to get the cake only we didn't notice the time of the
month so he's not exactly in a cake sorta mind."  Willow panted trying
unsuccessfully to catch her breath.

"Cake, what do you need cake for?" Angel was staring at her fairly sure
he wasn't going to like the answer.


"Spike and Dru. It's their one-year anniversary tonight and Dru wanted
cake soàcake she's getting only Ozà. So now I have to find a bakery
still open and I'm supposed to be printing off copies of the steps andà"

 He was right, he didn't like the answer but for Willowàhe owed her. He
still hadn't forgotten about the fish.
"Okay Willow, I'll go get a cake, any particular kind?"

Willow smiled at him, relieved to get one task off her plate.
"Dru wants Angel food cake."

"Angel food cake?" Angel immediately took on his guilt-ridden persona,
head down, shoulders rounded.

"Angel don't try to read a guilt inducing reason into thatàplease."

" Whatever, I'll see you at the meeting."

Angel and Willow took off then in opposite directions, Angel stopping
long enough to hide the bottles in a bush. He started back the way he
had just come muttering under his breath about Angel Food Cake and why
he could never be forgiven and how had he ever ended up involved with
these people. It was almost to much for him to comprehend, his life was
turning from a tragedy to some sort of black comedy with everyone being
way to amused by the horrible things that happened to them. The horrible
things he had done to them and they all preached forgiveness, not only
for him but for all the vampires Willow had accidentally re-souled when
she preformed the ritual of restoration on him. Twenty-five vampires in
all had been re-souled on that night. Twenty-five vampires all laying
around the factory moaning and crying about what they had done. What a
nightmare that had been, he'd been so busy trying to help the others
deal with the whole soul issue he'd never had time to deal with his own
guilt. Spike and Dru had to be the worst of the lot, both of them
falling over him to apologize for things they had done to him. It was
enough to make him hope they lost their souls again but noà Willow was
very thorough and none of them would ever lose their souls again. He
went to see Buffy three weeks after the ritual, to say good-bye and to
tell her what had happened to the rest of the vampires in the factory.
He'd never expected her to be so forgiving never expected the rest of
them to do anything more than kill him on sight.  He had actually been
looking forward to that so imagine his disappointment at all of them
trying so hard to help him feel better about what had happened. Even
Giles had tried to help him explaining to him that he did not hold him
responsible for the death of his girlfriend. For a while Angel was
fairly sure that they were all actually vampires and were just playing
some huge trick on him, probably something Drucilla had thought up. He
gave up on this idea when he caught Cordelia's reflection in her
compact.  He then spent the next few weeks trying unsuccessfully to
convince Buffy to kill the whole lot of them. He failed at this also,
seems the whole gang had decided that the souls were not responsible for
the demon actions and all kinds of other garbage that he was not falling
foràagain. Vampires with souls should always suffer, this was his new
motto and no way was he giving it up for the forgiving, second chances
junk Buffy and the others were preaching.  Spike and Dru sure had fallen
for it though, redemption through good deeds. Funny really, those two
running around the Hellmouth doing the random acts of kindness thing. He
could just picture Spike helping an old lady across the street.  It
would have made him laugh except he had made a vow to himself not too.
He finally found an open bakery and paid way too much for the cakes.
Cakes, for vampires, who don't actually need any food other than blood.
It was enough to make a vampire want to run away.
He headed back towards the school instead.


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Andrea Newbery" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Vampires Anonymous, (3/5) by Andrea
Date: 11 Apr 1998 12:44:05 PDT

Title: Vampires Anonymous
Author: Andrea Newbery
e-mail: [e-mail]
Distribution: sure, as long as I know where.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: everything up to KbD
Summary: I have been spending way too much time thinking about Angel's
soul or lack thereof. That is not actually in the story but it is still
true. Anyway I was thinking way to much on how Angel will get his soul
back and I started thinking that it might be interesting if, say Willow
found the ritual and performed it but made a slight mistake and restored
the souls of everyone in the factory with Angel.  So I decided to see
what would happen.
Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Buffy et al. are the property of
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB and whoever elseà No copyright
infringement intended. Please don't sue me I'm already up to my neck in
debt!
Feedback: Please...good, bad, whatever!


Meanwhile back at the school the vampires were starting to arrive. They
wandered in slowly, still unsure that they would be welcome. They of
course were since they were the reason the meeting was being held in the
first place.  Buffy ushered them all in, asking how their week had been
and if anyone wanted to talk tonight.
She wrote down the names of the few that did and handed it off to Xander
who was running the meeting tonight.

"Why am I running this meeting? I am one of the few creatures here who
IS NOT a bloodthirsty killer?" Xander was looking hopefully at the gang
thinking he may have found a way out.

"Uhà Xander, remember the pig?" Xander blushed slightly and stammering
something about how he never should have let it slip that he remembered
that experience he stomped off to get ready to speak.

"It's 8 O'clock Willow, are you sure you told him you needed the cake
tonight?"
Buffy was starting to get slightly panicked, if Spike and Dru didn't
have their cake they would probably assume it was some sort of
punishment for past sins and get all Angel-like again. She was pretty
sure she didn't want anymore Angel-like people in her life, Angel
himself was more than enough. Spike and Dru had come so far in the year
since they had started this group; Dru was actually making sense some of
the time. Not much sense but at least a little more than she had before.
She was also, regrettably, obsessed with rescuing stray animals, so much
so that Spike had threatened to move out of their house. Incidentally,
the Sunnydale real estate market was enjoying a record year as the
re-souled vamps moved above ground and the death rate decreased
dramatically.  Buffy watched the door anxiously as Xander called the
meeting to order; praying that Angel made it back before the end of the
meeting.

"Hello everyone, I'm Xander, you already know that though, andàwell I'm
running this meeting tonight, Thomas was supposed to be doing this but
sadly, he forgot to close the blinds when he went to sleep the other
dayàso, I'm sure we'll all miss him."
Xander stood there nervously shifting from foot to foot silently cursing
Willow for making the boo-boo that got them into this mess in the first
place.

"Tonight we have our first one year anniversary of the group and of
Spike and Dru's joining. Also Sheila and Bobby are going to speak for
the first time."
Xander stared at Willow trying to cue her to hand out the groups outline
sheets that they had finally typed up so that everyone could have a
copy. Willow saw him staring at her and waved, she was to worried about
the mess Oz was probably making in her basement to figure out that if
Xander was staring at her there probably was a reason. Which there was.

"UhàWillow, do you have the hand-outs?"
Xander was not totally comfortable yet with the fact that these vampires
were not supposed to be considered enemies anymore. They were all
playing on the home team now. The scooby gang had grown way to big for
his liking. He found it odd that Angel was the only one of them he
really liked. It could be that falling in love with one of his biggest
enemies had caused him to go soft on the other one. Maybe it just was
because Angel didn't like Spike and anyone who didn't like Spike was
okay in his books. That vamp was entirely too flippant, entirely too
sarcastic. In other words honing in on his territory. But no, he
wouldn't think that way, everyone was so nice now, all forgiving, even
Giles. It was enough to make a cynical mortal scream. Which he did
sometimes in the privacy of his own bedroom. Not because he was cynical
but because he had liked being part of a small exclusive clique
dedicated to eradicating evil. Now who knew who was evil, a guy had to
travel three miles outside of town just to find a one vampire who wasn't
re-souled. That's what happens when you get a bunch of re-souled
vampires desperate to erase their kind. Buffy would barely ever have to
hunt anymore except for the fact that there were about ten times the
normal amounts of other demons visiting Sunnydale at any one time.
Seemed like the hellmouth had to have a constant amount of evil to keep
it happy.
Angel slipped quietly into the back of the library thankful for the
centuries of practice he had sneaking around. He listened to Xander talk
to the group about forgiving yourself for things that you couldn't
change and had no control over. Xander of all people, he had been the
last person he would have thought would fall for all this crap. Angel
felt somewhat betrayed by Xander's turnaround. When he hadn't done
anything horrible for over 100 hundred years Xander couldn't stand him
and now that he had done horrible stuff to him and their friends Xander
was okay with him. They all were okay with him and he couldn't help
waiting for the other shoe to drop. No one could possibly understand let
alone forgive the things he had done. Buffy kept telling him to accept
what they were offering him, accept that they had big enough hearts to
let him back into theirs. But even if they could forgive him, who they
had known before he had reverted, how come they were so forgiving of
Spike, Dru and their gang?  They had only known them as monsters, he had
known both of them before. He was glad for Dru's sake that they were
helping them out. Spike still annoyed him like he had since Dru had
first laid eyes on him. Willow handed him the guidelines then; he
glanced at it and couldn't help smirking. They were still such innocents
in spite of all their good intentions. They still had no idea of the
atrocities these creatures had committed, still had the potential to do
again. He couldn't picture Spike not giving in to the demons urgings at
some point. They would be so disappointed if that happened. He couldn't
help but worry for them.


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Andrea Newbery" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Vampires Anonymous, (4/5) by Andrea
Date: 11 Apr 1998 12:47:09 PDT

Title: Vampires Anonymous
Author: Andrea Newbery
e-mail: [e-mail]
Distribution: sure, as long as I know where.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: everything up to KbD
Summary: I have been spending way too much time thinking about Angel's
soul or lack thereof. That is not actually in the story but it is still
true. Anyway I was thinking way to much on how Angel will get his soul
back and I started thinking that it might be interesting if, say Willow
found the ritual and performed it but made a slight mistake and restored
the souls of everyone in the factory with Angel.  So I decided to see
what would happen.
Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Buffy et al. are the property of
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB and whoever elseà No copyright
infringement intended. Please don't sue me I'm already up to my neck in
debt!
Feedback: Please...good, bad, whatever!


"Okay, step one isà"
 Xander never could understand why they had to recite these every week,
did vampires have really bad memories?

 "Do not feed off a human under any circumstan
ces." The group spoke softly still somewhat afraid the humans would
notice they were there.

"Exactly, you can feed off of cow's blood, pig's blood...  Willie always
has a great supply of blood from the slaughter houses, make sure you
check to see if it is fresh-he will try to cheat you. Also never steal
from the blood banks, human blood is never okay. If you're really stuck
try rats or mice." A sigh of distaste murmured through the group.

"And number two is?" Xander was getting into the spirit of things now
and had apparently decided that the spirit of things was eerily similar
to the captain of  a cheerleadin squad.

"Never use your vampire abilities against humans."
 The chorus of voices was getting stronger, this rule were easier to
follow than the first one.

"That means no throwing rude clerks against walls, no going game face on
children throwing rocks, no nothing!"
The vampires all sat there looking as angelic as third-graders.

"Number three?" Xander was getting progressively louder and Willow and
Buffy were watching him nervously. Cordelia on the other hand was
sitting with her face in her hands at the back of the room wondering and
not for the first time what she was doing involved with him.

"Never associate with the other vampires, the ones who don't have
 souls." They all were very happy with this guideline. None of them
particularly wanted to be reminded of what they had been.

"Right, that means if they're not here tonight, then they're not one of
you. Some of you are actively involved in helping the slayer, which is
great but I don't want anyone to feel obligated to. I understand that
for some of you hunting your former comrades is very difficult and no
one will think less of you for not actively hunting other vampires. On
the other hand we believe guideline number five supercedes any
reluctance you may have and it is?"
Xander watched to see their response to this guideline, this was the one
that was important to him.

"Always protect any human from attack by any vampire or other demons."
The stated it loud and clear and Xander was relieved.

"Exactly, if any humans are being attacked then it is permissible to use
your supernatural abilities to help them. We, as you know, weren't going
to make this a guideline but after hearing from many of you about how
helping protect humans from things you once did helps you regain some of
your lost humanity we decided it was an important step. We want everyone
to feel as human as is possible."

Angel almost shuddered at the thought of how stupid this whole group
thing was.  A sorry group of vampires with souls trying to make their
lives mean something other than death. Angel had thought that was
possible for one shining moment over a year ago and everyone had paid
dearly for that mistake. Of course now everyone thought Angel was the
one with the attitude problem, Buffy was continually nagging him to be
more involved in the group, to make more of an effort. He thought back
to when Buffy had first seized upon the idea to have the group. They had
been sitting in his apartment after he had finally realized that she was
determined to forgive him for the horrible things he had done. He was
too weak to fight her on this issue; he wanted too badly to be with her.
So he was sitting there complaining about the newly souled vampires. How
they were crying and moaning and generally being a huge pain in the
neck. Which is something a vampire usually gives rather than receives.
Anyway he was talking about how they had lost two to suicide that day.
He thought it was a good idea, he only wished he had been able to do it.
She was horrified at the thought of this. She actually thought he wasn't
responsible for what he had done and therefore none of the vampires at
the factory were. He could see the logic in her thinking but logic
doesn't help much when your basic premise is wrong. He argued against
her forgiveness for a while longer then he finally shut-up and decided
to hate himself in private from now on. It was to late though, she had
already decided to go talk to the vampires and see if she could help
them. He thought for sure Giles would stop her but no, Giles thought the
vampires could be valuable allies. Willow was always willing to give a
second chance so Xander was his only hope. That turned out to be
somewhat of a false hope. He remembered the first meeting, it was only
Spike, Dru and himself there arguing over who was more evil and who
deserved to die more and on and on. He had gotten really angry with
Spike when Spike tried to apologize for trying to kill him and his
girlfriend. He had turned Spike's girlfriend into a vampire could
anything be worse than that? Well, he had also driven her insane. Dru
just sat in the corner the first meeting whimpering 'I killed my bird, I
killed all my birds' repeatedly. And here they were now a year later
with a few less vampires and a lot less death.

"Number six?" Angel was starting to worry this would never end.

"Accept that you do have a demon inside you and resolve to always keep
it under control" Exactly, Angel thought, remember you are a demon.

"This doesn't mean you are a demon, just think of it as your bad side.
You all have the capacity for good, we just want you remember that the
demon will always be with you but that you are not the demon."
 Xander was a little weak on this guideline, he wasn't sure he fully
believed it himself. He had been beaten down though by Buffy and Giles
insistence on this fact. He had to trust they were right. He also had
just realized he was running this meeting so if he decided to cut this
guideline reading off here no one would stop him.

"Okay, great, I think we all got the gist of it. You all have copies now
so I say take them home put them on your fridge or whatever. You all now
these by heart anyway." Xander saw Angel then lurking in the shadows at
the back of the room and thought...cake!


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Andrea Newbery" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Vampires Anonymous, (5/5) by Andrea
Date: 11 Apr 1998 12:51:07 PDT

Title: Vampires Anonymous
Author: Andrea Newbery
e-mail: [e-mail]
Distribution: sure, as long as I know where.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: everything up to KbD
Summary: I have been spending way too much time thinking about Angel's
soul or lack thereof. That is not actually in the story but it is still
true. Anyway I was thinking way to much on how Angel will get his soul
back and I started thinking that it might be interesting if, say Willow
found the ritual and performed it but made a slight mistake and restored
the souls of everyone in the factory with Angel.  So I decided to see
what would happen.
Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Buffy et al. are the property of
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB and whoever elseà No copyright
infringement intended. Please don't sue me I'm already up to my neck in
debt!
Feedback: Please...good, bad, whatever!





"I would like to congratulate Spike and Dru on there first anniversary
in the group, as you know the group started with just three of you and
slowly built from there. Angel is also..."
 Xander voice trailed off as he felt the look Angel was giving him.
Buffy was mouthing 'No' and shaking her head franticly. Right, he forgot
Angel wouldn't do the group thing and had threatened to disappear if
forced to. Tempting.

"Anyway I invite everyone to join Spike and Dru in having cake and
beverages to mark this milestone in their life."
Xander walked quickly to the snack table hoping to get a piece of cake
before the vampires got there. Nothing personal really, they just were
used to eating there food live and so were somewhat rusty on table
manners.
Giles walked up to him with an obvious purpose in mind. "Xander, we were
thinking"
 This did not bode well for him, "We think if you talk to Angel he may
join in with the group."
 Him talk to Angel, try to convince him to join? He could do that; look
like the big hero to everyone, succeeding were everyone else had failed.
If he succeeded. He may just end up pushing Angel farther away; they had
a bit of a rocky history.

 "Giles, Angel and I, we...well, we aren't exactly the best of
friends.... And I'm not as sure as the rest of you on this group idea
and..." He watched Giles to see if his words had any effect, the watcher
simply motioned his hand towards Angel. Xander grabbed another piece of
cake, he knew Angel wouldn't take it, but Angel food cake was his
favorite.
 He did not want to have this talk with Angel but he was fully aware of
how persuasive (read violent) Buffy could be when she wanted something.
"So Angel, how's it going?"

Angel just looked at him, suspicious of his motives.
"Right I forgot, you-no-speak."
Angel continued staring at him, almost daring him to say anything.
Xander just took a deep breath and jumped in,
"Okay here's the deal, everyone has decided that you need to be involved
with this group. I have been chosen as the next unsuccessful person to
try and convince you that you're not evil. I am not the best person to
be doing this 'cause I'm not sure you aren't."
Angel looked slightly interested at this news.

"I do know however that you can control this evil, you did it before and
you've done it for the last year unless maybe you've taken off for short
killing trips?" Angel just looked at him.

" Okay right, the way I see it Buffy and the others will never stop
bugging you so you may as well give in and fake it. I do things for
Cordelia all the time that I don't want to but they make her happy. I
mean look at my clothes, they match. Do you think I would have done
this?"
Xander stopped talking for a minute as he thought about the horribly
conventional clothes he was wearing. The things a guy will do for....

"So, I'm thinking, you go up there, say a few words, Buffy will be
deliriously happy. I will be the hero and everyone will have a great
evening" He watched Angel hopefully, praying he saw this as a sensible
solution.
After a few minutes Angel laughed and said, "So I just pretend to
believe this feel good junk to get everyone to lay off? Xander you
really should consider a career in politics."

This sounded to Xander as if maybe he was thinking about it. "So..."

"I'll do it, it serves them right for trying to force me into this."
Xander could barely contain his grin; he was going to be such the hero.
 He took off for the front of the room dragging Angel behind him so he
wouldn't change his mind. He grabbed the mike and spoke into it.
"Okay is everyone ready to get back to business?"
Everyone sat back in their seats; Buffy, Giles and Willow sat in the
front row watching Angel anxiously.


"We have someone here tonight who you all know, he is speaking tonight
for the first time. Please give a warm welcome to Angel..." A gasp ran
through the group, Angel had been very vocal about his thoughts on this
stuff. They were all curious about him though. He represented hope to
them, a human, the slayer, had actually fallen in love with him. Angel
walked to the podium as Buffy grinned at him.
 He cleared his throat, took an unnecessary deep breath and began, " Hi,
my name is Angel and I have a soul."

The End




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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles of the White Knight (7/?)
Date: 11 Apr 1998 13:04:18 -0700

Name: The Chronicles of the White Knight #4 Never the One
Author: Taygeta
Address: [e-mail]
Feedback: Please send
Uses in anything: Sure, but tell me first.
Spoiler: Not really, might have mentioned a past episode.
Description: Buffy's contemplations about Angel and Xander
Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.
Warning: Not really, just kissing, and no major violence or foul
language.  So, PG
************************
Chronicles of the White Knight
#7 Unembraceable You
By: Taygeta

    For the umpteenth time in numerous nights, Buffy found herself
again in her White Knight's arms, but this time, they weren't dancing
like they had done before.  They were truly in an embrace, and this time
when Buffy glanced to look at him, she saw his face as clear as day, she
had begun to see him not through her eyes, but through her heart.
Looking into this dream lover's eyes, Buffy kissed him, and pulled slowly
away in a blush because she couldn't believe her boldness, although it
was a dream.  She looked up at him again and she saw him smile as he
brushed a wisp of her blonde hair away from her cheek, kissing her there
once, and then his lips found hers.  Suddenly, he pulled away and began
to walk away, leaving Buffy all alone.  She saw him walk towards
Cordelia, take her hand, and with his free hand he waved good-bye and all
Buffy could think was Xander was gone.

    Buffy sat up straight and shook her head in confusion.  It was
still dark out and Buffy peered at the clock beside her and noticed that
it was not even five o'clock.  She exhaled deeply and thought that it was
another perfectly ruined dream of the White Knight, and as she saw it
now, Xander.  Never did she think she'd be dreaming of Xander, never.  No
one, not even Willow was aware that she still dreamt of the White Knight
a.k.a. Xander.

    She had never liked walking in the halls seeing Xander with
Cordelia, but now that she was beginning to truly care for him, she had
begun to hate it.  Everything was seemingly getting back to a state of
normality, well, as normal as Sunnydale, California could get.  And in a
Sunnydale norm, Xander and Cordelia were together and they were
constantly doing what Xander had described as touchy-feely stuff, and
although Buffy wouldn't admit it, she was actually jealous of Cordelia.

    Buffy could still remember the intensity that she had felt when
he had kissed her, and the real thing was a million times better than a
dream kiss, but that's all she was seemingly having and that's all it
seemed she would ever get from Xander again.  She touched her cheek with
her hand, recalling how he had so silently, yet romantically said
good-bye.

    Her eyes fell to a cross that glinted on her rack as the
moonlight shone upon its metal, it was one of Angel's gifts.  She
shuddered recalling all the recent wrongs done by Angelus, and although
he was and had never been the Angel she knew, she couldn't help but see
the good in the bad.  Her feelings for Angel had altered somewhat after
the revealing of his demonic side, and although she still loved the Angel
of the past, she was beginning to come to grips that the past was the
past and the present and future nothing like it.  She had lost her heart
to Angel, but in time she had found it again, and although the scars were
still open wounds in need of healing, she knew she had to move on.  Yet,
to what?  To Xander...who was with Cordelia?

    Buffy shook her head and lay back down on her bed again, as she
thought of random thoughts of her heart.  They drifted to Angel...to
Xander...to Angel...to Xander, etc., and she began to be lulled in a
dream with these thoughts.  There was Angel, her vampire with a soul of
whom she had loved with all her heart and then there was Xander, her
white knight who she was beginning to love.  Sighing, she mumbled these
aimless thoughts to herself, and the last thought that lingered stayed
and befell her lips before she went into a rather deep sleep was,
"Xander..."

_____________________________________________________________________
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From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles of the White Knight (6/?)
Date: 11 Apr 1998 13:04:54 -0700

I hope everyone had the time to read #5 In the Hands of Astarte, the one
I couldn't send, but if you didn't, please e-mail me privately and I will
send it to you.  Now without further ado.
-Taygeta
**********************
Name: Chronicles of the White Knight #6 Decisions of the Heart
Author: Taygeta
Address: [e-mail]
Feedback: Please send
Using in anything: Sure, but just tell me.
Spoiler: Not really, just a few references to the show and past episodes.
 My own little ideas, but not really anything I think we'll happen as
such.  If it does occur, I had nothing to do with it.
Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.  In other words, these
characters do not belong to me, and I am just borrowing them.
Description: The Chronicles is not really a multi-part story, but is a
series of stories, some of which piece together and some of which don't.
#6 involves Xander and his inner conflicts with Buffy and Cordy
Warnings: Not really, unless you don't like Xander and don't really want
to read about him.  So basically the rating is: PG.
**********************


Chronicles of the White Knight (6/?)
#6 Decisions of the Heart
By: Taygeta


    Xander walked into his room with a sigh, as a million thoughts
filled his mind.  It would have been easier if Amy had made him forget
everything, but despite the decisions he had to make, he wouldn't have
wanted her too.  Of course, his decisions were second in his mind right
then because he had finally kissed Buffy.  Only in his dreams had he ever
thought that he would have ever done that, but it wasn't really a true
kiss despite all the passion and intensity from he had felt.  If it had
been true, it wouldn't have taken a spell to make it happen.

    He thought of Cordelia and wondered where did they stand now?  He
had broken up with her, but that was during the spell and as far as
Cordelia was concerned the break up was invalid.  What he didn't
understand with Cordelia was what made her go through such extremes for
him to care about her, when he already did.  Honestly, Xander could admit
that he didn't love Cordelia, but he truly cared for her.  Maybe she
wanted more from him than he could even give to her.  Maybe she wanted
his heart, but to give her that he couldn't do, and wasn't sure if he
could ever do such a thing.  His heart wasn't his to call his own, and it
hadn't been for awhile.  Ever since she had come into his life, she had
been a permanent mark in all of his thoughts and was almost unified with
his soul.  Xander knew that for his heart and soul to be found, they had
to be found by her because to him, his heart was hers.  His heart was
Buffy's.

    He picked up his telephone receiver and was about to dial, but he
quickly hung up the phone.  He couldn't do it.  He couldn't call Buffy.
Xander still felt the sting that lingered on-and-off from that still
healing wound of the day when Buffy had broken his heart by rejecting
him.  He wasn't sure if he could take another such blow, and he wasn't
sure if his lost heart could either.  Besides, despite the fire that he
had felt when his lips met hers, he had very little doubt that Buffy
still loved Angel and still yearned for his return.

    Angel, Angel, Angel, it was always Angel!  Never was there a
barrier so great, than he was, and never was there such a foe.  Xander
often found himself wondering, if there hadn't been an Angel, would he
have stood a better chance to have Buffy to call his own?  There were so
many supposes and maybes and what-ifs in his life that he always threw
that thought in the middle of it all, so that he could think of it later
and probe and search for an answer that couldn't be found.

    Xander scoffed softly thinking that Angel's presence was always
going to be the key.  When he was there, it was 'Xander who?'  And now,
since Angel was there, it wasn't any longer, that, but rather like
'Xander, Angel's gone.'  Xander minded his shoulder being the one she
cried upon, he didn't in the least.  He was glad that lately they had a
very close friendship, whether it be because of Angel or not, Xander
didn't care.  He was just glad that they were such good and close
friends.  His philosophy was that if he couldn't love Buffy, as he wanted
to, he could love her, as she wanted him to, as a friend.

    As he began to think about friendship, Xander couldn't help but
think that the girl he was dating had never, ever been his friend in the
first place.  For long as he could remember, he had hated Cordelia, and
in some aspects still did, but what was he doing but having make-out
scenes with her?  He didn't know how he succeeded in hating and liking
Cordelia at the same time, except for the reason that he had some
psychological disorder, but didn't anyone that dated Cordelia have one of
those?

      Xander knew that Cordelia wasn't the one, and he knew that she
knew it, too, but for now, they had each other.  He supposed that had to
have some significance, but he did feel like he was lying not only to
her, but also to himself while being with her.  Sure, they had their
moments of passion, but there was nothing between them but that, a
passion that would sooner or later burn out.  One day, he knew that one
of them, if not both of them, were going to decide to blow their flame of
desire out...for good.

    What they had together wasn't even really a relationship, but
rather it was only tangible enough to be called one.  If they had one to
speak of, they would like each other more than they despise each other,
and he would have some inclination to want to fall in love with her
instead of being in love with a vampire slayer that was in love with a
vampire.  Yeah, their relationship was awkward, and at times very
peculiar, but it was all they had, and having that was better than having
nothing at all.

    Xander reached for the phone and began to dial Cordelia's phone
number, but just when he was about to press the last digit, he slammed
the receiver down in indecision.  No, he couldn't call her either.  He
would be lying to her if he did, after all, he wasn't in love with her,
and he barely liked her enough to say that he liked her.  Xander was in a
confused state of mind as he fought indecision trying to find logic in
love and in passion, but there is no logic in either world, and he was
beginning to see that.  After a few minutes of thoughtful silence, Xander
picked up the phone, and began to dial.  He knew what he had to do.
*******************
End of #6
What did you think?  PLEASE send feedback!

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Re: Chronicles #7
Date: 11 Apr 1998 13:44:24 -0700

The title is says #4 but it is #7, I forgot to delete it when I was
reusing the disclaimer.  Sorry.

Taygeta

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Redfire98 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Rendevous With Midnight  (1/1)
Date: 11 Apr 1998 17:23:42 EDT

TITLE:  Rendevous with Midnight
AUTHOR:  Tamara
EMAIL:  [e-mail]
DIST:  Already up at my site.  If you want it, ask first please.
SPOILERS:  Just remember Angel is Angelus not Angel.  Make sense?
FEEDBACK:  Please?  With sugar on top?
DISCLAIMER:  These characters do not belong to me.  They are the
property of Joss Whedon and the WB.  I'm just borrowing them to amuse
myself during these hellish weeks of reruns.  If Joss can screw up the
characters lives, well darn it, as an almighty fic writer, I can mess with
them too.  Just remember that his is real and mine is just pretend.  So
if I do something you don't like, tell yourself it's only a story.

Note:  I'm amusing myself.  Thought it'd be fair to let you know before
you read.  See how nice I am.  Be prepared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rendevous with Midnight


Darkness. It was all she saw, all she felt. All around her there was
nothing but darkness. She walked down the street, oblivious to her
surroundings, focusing only on the dark. She could sense him near, knew
he was waiting for her. She knew it was dangerous, knew he had no qualms
about taking her life. But somehow, she couldn't resist the darkness.
She couldn't resist him.

She stopped at the entrance to the apartment, her mind giving one last
scream for her to leave. She was unarmed, her mind totally unfocused on
destroying him. She was't ready to kill him, didn't think she'd ever be
ready to truly defeat him. She knew that she should be running away,
knew she should be trying to save her life. But some little part of her
wanted to be there, some part of her needed the darkness that surrounded
him. So, with total disregard for her life, she took that final step
into the apartment, into his domain.

He was sitting there waiting for her. She spotted him as soon as she
stepped over the threshold. His eyes were focused intently on her, a
slight smile graced his lips. As she walked toward him she wondered what
the smile was for. She knew it wasn't because of past memories of this
place, knew it wasn't because he cared about the time they'd spent in
this room. No, the smile had to be there because he was certain she
couldn't stay away from him. She would do anything to be with him. Even
give up her life.

He stood up suddenly and she halted her steps, not sure of what to do
next. He held out a hand and, with only the slightest hesitation, she
took it. He hauled her roughly to him, his arms crushing her against his
chest.

"Are you going to kill me?" she asked him casually, as if they were
talking about the weather. It surprised her that she wasn't afraid to
die.

Angelus raised an eyebrow as he looked down at her. "Maybe," he answered
with a shrug. "I haven't really decided yet. Why? In a hurry to die?"

Buffy smiled. "No, just wanted to be up to date on things."

"Glad I could oblige." He leaned down until his lips were just a breath
above hers. "Why are you here?"

That was one of many questions she couldn't answer. What was she doing
there? She'd been asking herself that question all the way over here.
Why couldn't she stay away from him? Why did she always come back,
knowing that he could kill her, understanding that her weakness, her
inabilty to destroy him, made him stronger? Why did she keep torturing
herself? Why couldn't she reject the darkness? Why was she so entranced
by him, the creature so intent on making her suffer?

Those were questions she feared she would never know the answers to.
They were too hard, too complex. She just didn't know how to answer
them. Maybe there was no answer. Maybe it was all some big joke. She
smiled, briefly, as she pictured the higher powers looking down upon
them, entertained, as they silently manipulated their latest toys. Make
the Slayer attracted to her enemy, she thought with a look at the
ceiling. I hope you like the show we're giving you.

She turned her attention back to the one holding her in his arms,
looking deep into his eyes searching for answers, only to receive more
questions. Looking into the depths of his eyes, eyes that held no
emotion, no hint of feeling whatsoever, not anger, not hate, not love,
she saw herself. In his eyes she saw what drew them together, she saw
what forced them to back to each other, despite the hate. In his eyes
she saw darkness. The same darkness she saw in herself.

Pulling herself from her thoughts she focused on Angelus. He was still
watching her, waiting patiently for her answer to his question. She had
a feeling, though, that he already knew the answer.

"Why am I here?" she repeated the question, finally ready to speak. "I'm
here because I can't help but be here. We're connected. We can't fight
it. We're drawn together and though we hate it, we go along with it
because we have to."

There was a light of understanding in his eyes and she knew that he was
aware of what was between them. And he didn't like it any more than she
did. But what they wanted didn't matter.

"I can't kill you," Buffy said with a sigh. She reached up and wrapped
her arms around him. "At least not yet. I want you. I don't want to, but
I do. But eventually I'm going to work up the nerve to destroy you. I
*will* destroy you."

"And I'll destroy you," Angelus replied, his voice confident.

Buffy nodded, knowing he was right. It was the only way they could go.
When their fight was over, both Slayer and Vampire would be gone.
Another Slayer would come and take her place, another Vampire would lead
the clan. But Buffy and Angelus would be no longer. They knew it and
accepted it.

It startled her when his lips came down on hers, rough and demanding. It
was something she hadn't expected to happen. But she didn't waste time
being cautious. Pulling him closer to her, she opened up to him, letting
him inside her mouth, inside her soul. As he deepened the kiss she once
again felt the shadows that surrounded them. As Slayer and vampire
kissed, as their mouths melded together, they connected. Good and evil
disappeared, love and hate evaporated. There were only two people, their
passion...

And darkness.



Tamara, Countess of Naughty   ~ [e-mail] ~
Leader of the Caravan to Hell, Goddess of Chains and Wine
Webpage:   http://members.tripod.com/~Aramat1/fanfic.html
"You do know you've lost every bit of sense you've ever possessed, right?"
                                -Devin, my best friend.


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: The Ties That Bind (4/?)
Date: 11 Apr 1998 17:29:50 +0000

that was a great story!

    -holly

"do yuo like daisys? I plant them, but they always die... evrything I
put in the ground withers and dies... Spike, I 'm cold -drusilla

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: My Moira (3/?)
Date: 11 Apr 1998 16:40:06 -0700

Title: My Moira (3/?)
Author: Taygeta
E-mail: [e-mail]
Feedback: It's new and I really need the thoughts, so please send.
Distribution: Anywhere you think appropriate, but please tell me first.
Spoiler: Not really
Description: Twenty years into the future, 'nuff said.
Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.
Rating: PG
******************
My Moria (3/?)
By: Taygeta

    "Here you go, Cordelia," said Buffy handing her a cup of black
coffee before Buffy sat down on the couch beside her.
    "Thank you," said Cordelia taking a sip of the piping hot liquid
and sighing tiredly, hoping the coffee would help her feel less fatigue.
    "S-so Cordelia, I-I thought you were busy training the new
slayer, u-um, Annie, wasn't it?" asked Giles who, with his former Watcher
sense, noted that something was wrong, but everyone was noting this.
    "Annie, um, died a few days ago, Giles," said Cordelia softly
before she took another sip of her coffee.
    "She died?" asked Buffy in surprise and she felt Xander squeeze
her hand in comfort as she continued hesitantly, "How did she die,
Cordelia?"
    "She was challenged," said Cordelia, who wasn't sure if she
should tell Buffy the entire story.
    "By who?" asked Buffy, noticing Cordelia's reserve.
    Cordelia glanced at Buffy momentarily before she glanced at her
steaming cup of coffee and mumbled, "Angelus."
    Buffy stood up with a start, unsure if she had heard correctly,
"What?"
    "Angelus has come back and he killed Amy," said Cordelia looking
up and she saw Buffy's eyes widen.
    "It's my fault!  If only I had killed him when I had killed
Druscilla and Spike!"  Buffy scolded herself aloud as she let go of
Xander's hand.
    "B-Buffy, it's not your fault.  Angelus ran before you could
destroy him," said Giles insisted trying to comfort his former charge.
    "But, Giles, it is my fault," said Buffy softly recalling that
she had made him what he was...evil,  "I made Angel turn to Angelus."
    "You weren't to know the consequences, Buffy," insisted Willow as
she rocked her baby in her arms, hoping that all of this screaming was
not going to wake her noisy child.
    "Will's right, Buffy," said Xander standing up and taking Buffy
into his arms, "You didn't know that that would make him turn to the dark
side.  All you knew was that you loved him and you cared for him and
although that wasn't make it right, it doesn't make it wrong either."
    Buffy sighed as she heard the beating of her husband's heart and
hearing these words for the first time from him; his acceptance of her
past love and wrongs seemed to make things a little bit easier.  "It's
just that he's killed so many and I still can't believe, even after all
these years, that he can't be the Angel I knew."
    "Um, I hate to break up this moment, but there's something you
both should know," said Cordelia glancing at them hesitantly, knowing
that this wasn't exactly the best time to tell them, but they had to know
and they had to be prepared for the worst.
    "What is it, Cordelia?" asked Buffy glancing at the Watcher with
widened eyes, "What is it that you have to tell us?"
    "Since Annie's now, um, dead, a new slayer has been initiated,"
said Cordelia taking another sip of coffee before she placed the cup
down, "You all know that right?"
    "Right, a slayer is initiated when the former slayer dies or the
slayer is allowed to retire," said Xander nodding, "Of course we know
this, we've all been immersed in everything slayer for a long time, not
lately, but it's not something you forget."
    "Get ready to be re-immersed," said Cordelia biting her lower lip
hesitantly.
    They all turned to Cordelia and Xander replied, "What do you mean
Cordelia?"
    "The new slayer...it's Moira..."

_____________________________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (11/?) by Ingrid
Date: 11 Apr 1998 21:22:36 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia,
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: Yeah! IÆm happy. Today is OFFICIALLY
the first day of my vacation!!! That means that this one
is kind of an "upper," at least compared to the more
recent parts. YouÆll like this one. IÆve included some
sarcastic humor. Humor? What's humor?

Welcome to my story. It takes place ten years into the
future, but IÆm not telling you whatÆs happened in
advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time goes on in
the story. I love to get feedback, except when my
mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you want
to get this, ask me for them!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Eleven: "A Reintroduction"
*********

Buffy was getting more and more agitated the closer they got.
When they picked up the rental car, she made Angel drive, and
she watched the baby in the back seat. She couldnÆt stop her
hands from shaking.

If she were a smoker, this would have been her cue to whip out
a pack of cigarettes and perhaps smoke the entire contents at
once.

But she wasnÆt. What the hell was she supposed to do to quell
this nervousness- slay a couple hundred vampires?

The car crept into the driveway. She could have sworn she saw
a snail speeding past. Angel was a judicious driver. Funny. SheÆd
always appreciated it until today. Now she felt like slamming
down the gas herself.

Buffy decided to take the time to look at her surroundings. What
she saw was gorgeous. The whole scene was covered in snow,
including the entire landscaped garden. The house was massive,
its edifice dwarfing anything that stood in front of it. What was
most beautiful of all was a cement fountain, now non-functional
and covered with snow, in the shape of a swan.

Angel took the baby from her hands as she stepped out of the
car, probably afraid she would drop it from the way she was
shaking.

Steady.

Xander and Cordy, thatÆs all.

Absently, she noticed the forest surrounding and isolating the
place at the same time. The treeline was dark in contrast with
the pure white around them. The air was chill and silent, cutting
thoughts abruptly. Something moved in the woods for a moment,
and then all was still again.

When she made no move to do so, Angel knocked on the door
with his free hand. She felt numb.

With a flourish, the great door swung open, and a beautiful woman
answered. Cordelia, she recognized immediately, and flashed her a
stupid grin.

SheÆd obviously dressed for the occasion, looking almost as
nervous as Buffy did, God knows why. Her hair was luxuriantly
tied into a lose bun, curled strands of the dark silk framing her face.
Her dress was a pretty, conservative, long gown, in dark green velvet.
Her wedding band was the only jewelry she wore.

She looked prettier now, certainly, if that was possible, but there was
something different about her that Buffy couldnÆt quite put her finger
on. She looked cautious now; reserved.

It was almostàresponsibility.

After a few moments of staring at each other, Cordelia gathered her
senses.

"Buffy, Angel, hi! Come on inside! ItÆs cold out there!"

She waved them inside, and immediately took notice of Willow.

"Oh my God. SheÆs beautiful."

Buffy smiled up at her kind expression- something sheÆd never
thought sheÆd see from the former May Queen.

The watcher snapped out of her reverie. "IÆm sorry! Can I take
your coats?"

They handed them over.

"What, no servants," Angel asked, surprised, when Cordelia was
gone.

"They might find out," Buffy answered logically, painfully aware
of the secretive nature of the whole business.

Cordelia returned quickly, and led them inside. Buffy looked around
at the beautiful, tasteful interior and then back down at her dress.
She frowned. The simple long black silk didnÆt seem like enough.

"XanderÆll be down in a minute.  He got inspired about a couple
of hours ago."

They stopped in a modern sitting room, standing in the center.
Cordelia scanned Buffy for a moment and smiled. ThatÆs when
she was completely taken by surprise.

Cordelia hugged her warmly. "IÆve missed you," she heard over
her shoulder, in a strangely emotional voice, "both of you."
Releasing Buffy, she hugged Angel with the baby still
in his arms.

Buffy half expected to see her sneering over AngelÆs shoulder.
Instead, her eyes were closed, a mixture of joy and pain spread
over her face.

She looked dangerously close to tears.

Hell was freezing over, and it wasnÆt so bad, Buffy thought.

Cordelia gathered herself together quickly, straightening her dress
and offering them seats.

"Would you like anything to drink? I got some champagne I think
youÆll like. We went out and bought it today.

They acquiesced, and she returned with three glasses, bubbling
with the ginger liquid.

Buffy sipped at hers slowly, beginning to relax. It was a start.

A *good* start.

She heard footsteps coming down stairs and closer.

Xander.

She took another sip of champagne as all that relaxation went
right out the window.
***
END, PART ELEVEN.
Some feedback each day keeps the badfic away ([e-mail])!
"Isn't this a bit inappropriate for the kiddies?"-The Man With the Drawl

_____________________________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Capeside Stories
Date: 12 Apr 1998 13:35:59 -0700

I can't send my capeside stories, they're too long.  Just go to:
    http://www.bfree.on.ca/ppages/trish/

if anyone wants to read them, and any of my other stories that my friend
as placed on that list.

Taygeta

_____________________________________________________________________
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Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Catl274935 <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: Repost query...
Date: 12 Apr 1998 16:39:30 EDT

   YES!!!  Please repost "Slayer be Slain".  I loved that story. I've already
read it like a million times, but I wouldn't mind one bit reading it another
million.  It is my FAVORITE fanfic.  An excellent example of how fanfic should
be written.  But, that's just my opinion.  Looking forward to reading your
story AGAIN AND AGAIN,

Vampcat
SVS #15
RASF #54
Member of RABID

   "They were two halves of the same whole: as pure as the day when human, as
dark as the night now that they were whole vampires."
                                                                 from "Slayer
be Slain" by Angel's Lover

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Within Me (1/1)
Date: 12 Apr 1998 14:42:40 -0700

Title: Within Me (1/1)
Author: Taygeta
E-mail: [e-mail]
Feedback: Please!!!!
Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.
Author's Note: This is my first try at Angel/Buffy fanfiction.  I've
never really liked the idea of Buffy and Angel, so I've never tried it.
But I got to thinking that I might as well write one because I do have
sympathy for Buffy's lost.  Considering this is my first Buffy and Angel
fanfic please send FEEDBACK!!!
********************
Within Me
By: Taygeta

Angel...

I often say that name to myself in a whisper that seems to echo in the
silence of the night.  That one single word that causes pain to rise from
my heart and tears to fall my eyes.  Memories of his love and my love for
him, that seem so ancient to this day, clash with new ones made of his
hate against me and that which sprung from mine against him.

Although I know it is but that alternate self that I hate, I cannot help
but still see the golden heart of that which use to be dominate in his
image.  They are the same, yet they are different, and how can this be?
The same image shared, but two differing feelings of heart I have for
something one in the same.  My mind is clouded with battling memories and
heartache of two types, each worse and worse by day and by night.  I long
to understand, but such knowledge I have yet to find.

Angelus...Angel...

Two names, two souls, two hearts, contained in but one form.  In my mind,
I can separate the two, but in my heart I see them still as one.  A
change so sudden that it made be stumble and it made me fall.  And as I
fell into the darkest depths I wondered how I could live without you.  In
time, my lost self was found, but my lost heart forever gone.

He's not the same guy you knew...

They all say to me that he isn't the same and that the one I love is
gone, but I cannot accept such words.  He is not gone and shall never be
gone.  I have accepted that not in bodily vessel shall find his heart,
but within me he lives.  Within my heart he dwells, and within all that
is myself, he shall survive.

*****************
The End

What did you think?

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: Help
Date: 12 Apr 1998 22:19:39 -0400

Sorry if that isn't the proper subject heading for this.  I'm new here,
and I was wondering if anyone would be willing to read over the story
I'm writing.  So far, it only has three parts (none of which are more
than two pages).  I'd rather that my story wasn't horrible.  Mildly bad
I don't mind, but not horrible <g>.

Northlight

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" Interlude # 1: "Lighting Cracks" by Ingrid
Date: 12 Apr 1998 23:26:45 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Buffy, Giles, Cordelia,
Spike, Drusilla, Willow, Angel & co. are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: IÆve decided to help explain the past through
a series of interludes that will be interspersed throughout
the story as it goes on. This series is obviously meant as
a companion to the aforementioned "Reunion." These
flashbacks take place about 9 years before "Reunion,"
give or take a few months. Needless to say, if you havenÆt
read "Reunion," this wonÆt make much sense to you. If
you donÆt have parts 1-11 of it, you can write to me and
request them. My address is [e-mail]. Oh!
BTW, I love to get feedback, except when my mailbox
explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!


"Reunion" Interlude # 1:
"Lightning Cracks"
by Ingrid


The gas pedal almost buckled under her feet. When itÆd
seemed to recover, she slammed it down harder, the blinding
light of insane hope pumping through her brain and twisting
her nerves. She heard a crash as she sideswiped a Buick. She
was ducking now, driving the car like it was a racing bike.
The school parking lot was right ahead, but she wasnÆt
looking for the parking lot.

A strange rhythmic pulse was driving her to even greater
accelerations. In a moment, she realized it was the rock music
blaring from the speakers of the radio sheÆd forgotten to turn
off. She hadnÆt noticed it for the five minutes sheÆd been
careening through the neighborhood as fast as the car would
take her.

In the distance, she saw the smoke, the fire, and the figures
near it. They grew larger, and soon she could recognize faces
of flickering terror.

She didnÆt see the tree. Or Giles, for that matter.

She watched herself crash into both without being able to do a
thing to stop it.

Then suddenly, nothing. And voices gradually became louder.
They were screaming. Her head was stuck to the steering wheel.
She yanked away, and heard a tearing sound. Blood dripped onto
the dash.

Without processing anything but the task at hand, she grabbed
the orb from the seat.

Damn. That had been close. What if it had smashedà

Oh my God.

She traced the crack in the orb and her heart sunk, but it was this
or nothing. Giles was on the ground close to the tree, his leg a
mess of blood and gore. His face was calm, and when he saw her
with the orb, he looked up and the light of urgency lit his eyes.

She ran to him, screaming his name, and how sorry she was, and
thousands of other things he didnÆt have time for.

"Buffy!" He screamed at her and ripped the glass from her hand.

Just then she heard another scream from behind the tree. She
rocketed past it to see the body of a red-haired teenager enveloped
in the vampireÆs arms, struggling against him with every ounce of
strength she possessed.

But it wasnÆt enough.

Buffy couldnÆt tell whether the roar in her ears was her own scream
or XanderÆs. All she knew was that she was going to kill him. Now.

She knocked into him. He didnÆt expect it, and Willow dropped to
the ground. Buffy tackled him, and began to repeatedly smash at his
chest. She didnÆt have her stake? Where was her stake?

In the car.

She was dead, she realized without feeling. There was no chance
for her. Dead.

She waited for the inevitable onslaught, and winced as she saw him
coil himself for attack.

It never came. There were two distinctive flashes of light, and then
all the rest was caught up in a glowing blur. Giles had cast the spell.
Blackness swam before her eyes and she gave into the dark, shutting
them, and relaxing against the ground. If it was the ground. She felt
completely turned around now. Lost.

And suddenly something sweet touched her, something more real
than any dream. *He* touched her, pulled her to him, and she let him,
completely still and dead. Somehow, she knew he was crying.

Then all shimmered gold and white and she felt herself slip away.
*********
END, INTERLUDE #1.
"God help me, if he doesnÆt stop, IÆll go out of my mind in a minute."

"Why DonÆt you? That would be something, anyway."
--John Osborne, "Look Back In Anger"

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Angel's Lover" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Slayer be Slain ~ First Mailing
Date: 13 Apr 1998 03:05:45 PDT

Okay.. the following is a repost of Slayer be Slain.. reworked and rewrit=
ten from the time of it's original posts.  As a warning, there is a direc=
t line taken from "Angel" in the third part, I realize this, and I meant =
this as a refference to Darla to explain Buffy's state of mind at the tim=
e.  The characters of Buffy, Angel, Giles, Willow, Xander, Oz, Cordy, Spi=
ke, Dru, and Ms. C (obviously this was written before Passion was aired) =
are not mine, they are the creations of the God of all Buffdom, Joss Whed=
on, Mutant Enemy Productions and Warner Bros.  Spoilers are from anything=
 before up to and including Innocence, tho the only direct spoilers are =
from Surprise and Innocence. I am not making any money from this, and no =
copyright infringement was intended.  Please direct all comments to Lea =
at either [e-mail] or [e-mail] .  Thanks for =
reading!!!!

_______________________________________

Slayer Be Slain ~ First Mailing


    She ducked behind a gravestone, silently trying to move around him
before Angelus had the chance to notice her.  Her ex-boyfriend was
busily sipping the blood from the neck of some unfortunate girl.  Buffy
could tell even from this distance that there was no chance to save this
victim, but the moment she had been waiting for had arrived.  This was
her ultimate chance to kill Angelus once and for all.
    She looked down at the claddagh ring that she still wore upon the
ring finger of her right hand.  Its silver band shone in the white light
of the nearly full moon, reminding her of the night Angel had given it
to her.  It had been the night of her seventeenth birthday, the night
they had first made love, and the night she had lost him forever.
    Engraved into the silver band were three tiny designs: on either
side, a pair of clasped hands; on the top, a royal crown; and in the
center, a heart, the apex of which she wore pointed towards her.  Angel
had told her to wear it this way; in ancient Irish tradition this
indicated that she belonged to him. Her finger caressed lightly the
delicate designs, noting how softly the hands clasped the heart. They
were designed so perfectly they seemed to cradle the heart as though it
were a living, beating organ.   She sighed. Angel's friendship had meant
everything to her; when the Gypsy curse broke, turning Angel back into
Angelus, Buffy had lost more than a lover, she had lost her best friend. =

Her eyes shifted to the crown, noting how differently it had been
designed.  Though merely silver, without the colour of brilliant jewels
to identify how rich its owner would have been, it drew her attention
all the same.  The two dimensional crown had a three dimensional effect
as Buffy could almost see the actual crown waiting to be plucked from
the ring and worn by a royal dignitary.  The crown was supposed to
indicate loyalty; but there was no reason she should remain loyal to
Angel now.  He was no longer the man she had once known; his vampire
side had taken over, and destroyed everything.  Buffy allowed her eyes
to fall back upon the heart.  Her finger lightly traced the very plain
design.  It was no more than a heart, carved with perfect symmetry into
the flawless silver of the ring, only it seemed to shine more
brilliantly than the other designs in the white gleam of the moonlight. =

It was while looking at the heart that she finally sighed.
    Slowly she slipped the ring from her finger, twisting it in her
hands so that the apex of the heart no longer pointed towards her.  She
no longer belonged to Angel. As she slid the ring back on, the glow of
the heart faded into the shine of the rest.  No thoughts of friendship,
loyalty or love were going to keep her from doing her sacred duty. The
part of her that had so cherished what the ring had once meant finally
died, and she was free to do what she must.
    The body of the now drained teenager dropped to the damp earth
with a sickly thud, and Angelus drew the back of his hand across his
mouth.  He grinned in the darkness.  Buffy's eyes rose from the ring as
he turned around.
    "Do you really think that gravestone can hide you, Buffy?  I know
you're there.. I can smell ya!"
    She rose from behind the gravestone and scowled.  "Could you be
any yuckier?"
    "Just wait until I sink my teeth into your soft throat, lover.
You'll find greater pleasure in my feeding than you ever did in my
arms."
    She sighed, "Apparently so."
    "Is this where it is to be, Buffy?  In the graveyard?  Where no
one but the dead can hear your screams?"
    She shrugged, "At least you'll be among friends."  She reached
into her bag, "Ashes to ashes, Angel," and pulled forth a stake, "Dust
to dust."
    With a growl he leaped forward, his arms outstretched for her
neck.  She ducked, her fist striking upwards connecting with his solar
plexus.  He gave a loud grunt and fell to the ground.
    Buffy pouted sarcastically.  "Awwww.. did the big bad vampire fall
down go boom?"
    He smiled up at her and licked his fangs, "Why don't you come down
here and I'll give you something to remember me by."
    She scowled, "So over that minor detail!"
    He snarled and lunged upwards, catching Buffy by the shoulder and
sending her reeling into a solid gravestone.  Pain shot through her but
she shoved it aside and stood.
    "Stick with me, baby, and you'll see stars!" He leapt at her
again, his fist connecting with her cheek, the claddagh ring on his
right hand cutting into her flesh.  He laughed at the sight of her
blood, spinning and allowing his foot to cut across her jaw.
    She counteracted easily, bringing him to his knees with a short
cut to the legs, landing a punch upon his nose.  The vampire was flipped
head over heels and landed spread eagled upon his back.  In seconds she
was upon him, knees straddling his waist as she reached for her stake.
    He smiled coldly.  "Gee... this seems familiar." A lightening
quick movement had him twisting their bodies so that Buffy was trapped
beneath him.  His grin widened.  "Yep, something's definitely coming
back to me now!"
    "Yeah, well, keep it where it is!"  Buffy clawed her nails across
his face, causing him to pull back in a brief moment of pain.  She
grinned suddenly, "Hey, lover, remember this?" Her knee came up solidly
between his legs, causing the vampire to howl in agony.  He rolled off
her and curled into a ball.
    Buffy climbed to her feet, as Angelus recovered.  She bent to
retrieve her stake, his arms wrapped around her; one encircling her
neck, cutting off her breath, the other encircling her waist, drawing
her firmly against him.  Buffy was solidly pinned, gasping as she felt
his breath hot against her neck.
    His teeth grated over the tender flesh of her throat, and Buffy
knew then that she was going to die.  The fight ebbed out of her, and
she closed her eyes, groaning deeply as Angelus's teeth sank into her
neck.  Her awareness of his feeding didn't last long, however; all
sensation slowly began to fade from her mind.  She slipped into
unconsciousness.
    A long period of silence followed... how long she did not know.
Confusion swept over her as faded images of her life ebbed closer to her
mind and then away once more.  There was no pain, no hurt, only the
irresistible urge to feed.  Soon she opened her eyes.
    Angel stood above her, and as Buffy peered around, she took in her
immediate surroundings.  She was in a dark warehouse, hidden deeply away
from the sunlight.  Spike and Drusilla watched from nearby, the female
vampire hardly able to contain her excitement as she awaited Buffy's
awakening.  Drusilla moved to Buffy's side and lowered her lips to
Buffy's forehead.
    "Welcome," she whispered, "I've always wanted a sister."  Her lips
brushed against Buffy's ear as she giggled, "We can have blood parties,
and I'll introduce you to Miss Edith, and you can listen to my birdie
sing, he has the sweetest voice.  Oh, and one day we're going to destroy
the world.  Want to help?"  With a laugh of pure insanity, Drusilla spun
in a slow circle, and then moved back to sit across Spike's lap,
allowing Angel to move in once more.
    Angel held out his hand to Buffy, pulling her gently to her feet,
their matching rings sounding a soft chime as they came in contact.  He
enfolded her into his arms, and smiled down at her.
    "Was it as good for you as it was for me?"
    Slowly she ran her tongue across her newly sharpened teeth,
raising her hands to trace the demon form of her face.  She reveled in
the feel of the new contours of her body, feeling vampirical strength
flowing through her.  She grinned up into the eyes of the demon she
would eternally "love", pulling him into a deep kiss before backing away
and spinning in a circle of delight.  She laughed aloud, a long cruel
sound, as she rejoiced in her new life.
    "Better, my love, oh, so much better!" She pulled him back to her
and together they danced slowly across the warehouse floor.  Playfully
she nipped his ear before whispering, "Now, show me the stars!"

******************


Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea)
"Love makes you do the wacky!"
"When you kiss me I want to die."
"I'm SO the net girl!"

Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs!


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Angel's Lover" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Slayer Be Slain ~ Second Mailing
Date: 13 Apr 1998 03:09:49 PDT

Okay.. the following is a repost of Slayer be Slain.. reworked and rewrit=
ten from the time of it's original posts.  As a warning, there is a direc=
t line taken from "Angel" in the third part, I realize this, and I meant =
this as a refference to Darla to explain Buffy's state of mind at the tim=
e.  The characters of Buffy, Angel, Giles, Willow, Xander, Oz, Cordy, Spi=
ke, Dru, and Ms. C (obviously this was written before Passion was aired) =
are not mine, they are the creations of the God of all Buffdom, Joss Whed=
on, Mutant Enemy Productions and Warner Bros.  Spoilers are from anything=
 before up to and including Innocence, tho the only direct spoilers are =
from Surprise and Innocence. I am not making any money from this, and no =
copyright infringement was intended.  Please direct all comments to Lea =
at either [e-mail] or [e-mail] .  Thanks for =
reading!!!!

_______________________________________

Slayer Be Slain ~ Second Mailing

******************

    Undeath was different from what her life had been.  Buffy rejoiced
in the freedom vampirism brought to her.  Her days were spent relaxing
in the arms of Angel, her nights were spent drinking freely from those
unfortunate enough to cross her path.
    Together she and Angel lay under the warm blankets of their
antique bed.  Deep red draperies surrounded them, adding a tinge of
mystique to their room in addition to the more contemporary articles,
such as the changing screen that Angel had brought with him from his old
loft.  On Drusilla's order they were given their own wing of the massive
warehouse that the vampires occupied.  Spike was only too pleased to
comply with this request. With Angel completely involved with Buffy, he
would no longer pose a threat to Spike's relationship with Drusilla.
    It was nearing time for them to rise; the sun was slowly sinking
in the sky, yet still they lay in comfort.
    Angel raised a goblet of thick, red blood to Buffy's lips.
"Drink, my love," he murmured softly.
    Slowly her tongue inched out of her mouth, dipping delicately into
the still warm liquid.  For a moment she savoured the flavour before
smiling.  "Fresh," she whispered, "Young."
    He nodded, "A child, bled especially for us."
    She took a long, leisurely sip of the precious blood, allowing the
liquid to fill her mouth and coat her throat as she swallowed gently.
She swallowed once again before handing Angel back the goblet.  Her eyes
urged him, too, to drink his fill.  A small trickle of the blood
dribbled slowly down Buffy's chin, and Angel smiled.
    His hand slid carefully into her hair as he drew her towards him.
His tongue edged out to softly lick from her skin the blood she had
spilt.  His mouth moved slowly to her neck, his tongue moving in lazy
circles over her tender flesh.  Gently he nibbled on her throat, sending
slightly painful but not unwelcome sensations throughout her body.
    At long last he straightened once more, leaning back upon the
pillows, bringing the goblet to his own lips.  He drank deeply of the
blood within, smiling softly as Buffy turned to watch.
    "Would you like more?" he queried, willing to share only with her.
    She shook her head, "I can wait for tonight's hunt. You drink,
love," she smiled wickedly, "A child's blood strengthens you greatly."
    His laugh was honest, for though what she was saying was true, her
hidden meaning came as a welcome promise for later that night.  For now,
he swallowed the last of his drink and licked his lips.
    "Where do you want to hunt tonight, Buffy?  Any place.. special?"
His eyes glinted in humour; he knew that her heart was just as black as
his own.  Her pleasure in the hunt had at first taken him by surprise,
but now it only strengthened the bond that they shared.
    She nodded as she climbed astride him, her hands resting on his
powerful shoulders.  Slowly she raised one hand to trace the contours of
his face; the cold silver metal of the claddagh ring he had given her
sending shivers down his spine. Excitement shone behind her eyes as she
at last spoke, "I want to visit her, Angel.  Please, can I?"
    He smiled softly, "To feed?"
    She shook her head. "To play!"
    He nodded his assent, and she wrapped her arms around him, kissing
him with inhuman strength and demonic passion.  Tonight would be more
fun than he had had in a hundred years.  Tonight Buffy would truly come
into her element of evil, and then no force beyond death would ever be
able to pry them apart.
    He gathered her into his arms and lifted her out of the bed,
gently placing her on her feet after bestowing a final loving kiss upon
her forehead.
    "Then it's settled.  Once we dress, we'll go above and pay Willow
a short visit before our hunt."
    Buffy giggled in anticipation, her joy shining through her eyes in
a way which he had never seen.

**********************

    They stood outside Willow's bedroom, waiting for the girl to
return to her computer.  Angel slipped behind the tree line, allowing
Buffy her fun. With a delicious grin she tapped lightly upon the glass
pane separating her from her old friend.
    "Will!" she called, quietly, "Hey, Willow!  Let me in!"
    The red headed teenager turned quickly, and her jaw dropped at the
sight of her best friend outside.  "Buffy!" She hurried over and opened
the door.  "Where have you been?  Giles went into maxi wig when you
disappeared, and your mother...." she shook her head, "Where were you?"
    Buffy remained outside, unable to cross the threshold.  She
shrugged, "I needed to book for a while.  After the whole thing with
Ange.. well, I just couldn't hang in this wiggy hellmouth any more."
    Willow nodded, "That's what I told Giles, but he's been so freaked
since you bolted.  He thought Angel got you or something. You really
should have called."
    Buffy smiled, "Angel and I have.... worked things out."
    "What??  How?"
    "Let's just say I can see his side."
    Willow frowned, "Buffy, why aren't you coming in?"
    "Invite me, Will."
    She blinked, "Why?"
    "Just invite me in."
    Willow smiled nervously, "Maybe you should go see your mom."
    Buffy's tongue slowly ran across her teeth.  "Oh, believe me, I
will.. but first invite me in for a sec, Will.  We haven't seen each
other in a while, you gotta... dish me in on what's been going down."
When the other girl didn't answer, Buffy frowned.  "Come on!  Invite me
inside!"
    "Oh." Willow quickly stepped backwards, a sharp stab of fear
rushing through her. "Oh, no."
    "Oh, yes."
    Willow stumbled back towards her telephone, barely taking her eyes
off her "friend" as she dialed Giles's number.  Buffy turned and called
over her shoulder, "She doesn't want to play."
    Angel appeared behind her.  "Patience, love.  Would you like me to
bring her out for you?"  Slowly he stepped across the threshold and back
outside again.  "Once invited...."
    She shook her head, "No, I can have my fun from out here."  She
stood in the open doorway, "Willow... you can't stay inside forever."
Swiftly she shifted from human into her vampirical form.  She pouted
sarcastically, "Don't you want to be my friend?"
    The teenager was rapidly talking on the phone, barely making sense
as she tried to explain to Giles what was happening.  Her eyes fixated
on Angel as he continued to enter and exit her room at will.  "I can't
close it, Angel's there!"  There was a pause, "But I already did, months
ago!  He still can!"  Another pause.  "Okay, I will... NO!  They're
strong!  You won't get from the car to the house!  I'll be okay."
Finally, she hung up the phone and turned to dig through her belongings.
    She came up with two crosses and a Star of David, the crosses
courtesy of hanging with Buffy for so long.  Turning back to her door,
Willow picked a vase up off her dresser.  As she neared the door, she
threw the vase, shattering it against Angel's skull.  The vampire
flinched, and Willow held out a cross to ward off her enemies.  She
slammed shut the glass door and taped the religious artifacts to the
pane, the door handle, and the floor in front of the opening, pulling
the shades closed.
    Willow lay down upon her bed, clutching a large stuffed bear close
as she listened to her "friends" prowl around outside, calling her name,
and tapping on the window.
    Hours passed when finally blessed silence filled her room.  At
long last Willow turned on her damp pillow and fell asleep.

************************


Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea)
"Love makes you do the wacky!"
"When you kiss me I want to die."
"I'm SO the net girl!"

Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs!


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: G90210 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: BBETA: Life's A Bitch (2/?)
Date: 13 Apr 1998 12:04:10 EDT

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  This was just a thought I had one day.  Because Buffy has to
deal with stuff, most people don't think exist(right they don't, come on now
for my own mentalness, they don't!) What about when she has to face real
stuff, like real diseases, like AIDS.  I don't know why I thought of this, but
oh well I did.

TITLE: Life's A Bitch
AUTHOR: mInDy    ([e-mail]      or       [e-mail])
SUMMARY: I don't know how to write one to this, so read.......it's about Buffy
and Angel for those of you who it matters too.
SPOILERS: None at the moment.
TIME LINE: After S/I
IMPORTANT: Angel IS good in my story, he does has soul, and the curse can't be
broken this time.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!!
WARNING: Major character dies. Look at the title and the language will be
explained.


Life's A Bitch
by: mInDy
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    When Buffy woke up, Angel was gone.  In the spot where he was just a few
hours ago, was a streak of sunlight and a note.  Buffy smiled to herself.
*Thank God he's ok, I don't know if I could handle losing him again.*  Buffy
read the note and got up to get in the shower.

    After she got out of the shower, and got dressed, she decided to walk to
Angel's, she just had to see him, and sense it was summer, there was no
school.

    For some odd reason, Buffy felt weaker than normal.  *I didn't feel like this
last time, maybe it's because it lasted longer, I'll have to talk to Giles,
just leave out the sex part.*  The thought of talking to Giles about sex, gave
her chills.  *Anybody that old shoudn't have sex.  Wait a
minute............except for speacil cases like Angel, or when she gets that
old.  If she got that old.*  Buffy always hated it when that thought came in
her head.  She wasn't gonna be able to grow old, and have kids, and die an old
lady in her warm bed.  She wasn't that lucky, nooooo she had to have a birth
right.  But if it wasn't for that birth right, there would be no Angel.
Angel, a good thought.  In her words "The one freaky thing in my one freaky
world, that still makes sense to me."  She loved him more than she thought
possible.  A slayer and a vampire, now throw that one at Shakespear.  Two
families who didn't want their kids to be together, how about being born
enemies by nature, and having no other choice, no way to make ammends.  *Oh
well, at least we've had a little, which is better than none.*

    As Buffy thought, she eventually made it to Angel's apartment.  She knocked
on the door slowly.  She still couldn't believe what happened did.

    Angel opened the door and saw her standing there, and smiled.

    "Hey,"  Buffy said first, a little nervous but not by much.

    "Hey,"  Angel said back.

    Before either could get in anymore words, Angel's phone rang.  He went to go
answer it, Buffy followed

    "Hello," Angel spoke into the phone.

    "Hi, Angel, this is Giles.  I called Buffy's house and she wasn't there, I'm
guessing she's with you?" Giles spoke.

    "Yeah she's hear, why?"

    "Well, cause I found a really odd saying in one of my books."

    "Yeah what is it?"

    "Well, it......uh.....says, that for if the slayer is by in anyway, not a
virgin, under the next full moon, she will, ummm.......lose all her strength
for the next 7 days and 7 nights.  And sense I know, well.....you know, this
applies to Buffy, and I thought she should be warned."

    "Ok, Giles. Thanks, by the way when is the next full moon?"

    "Tomorrow night, I'm afraid."

    "Well, ok, I'll tell Buffy then."

    Angel hung up the phone and looked at Buffy.  How was he going to explain
this to her?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
End Part 2
FEEDBACK.....pleaze!!!!!!!

































-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Black Fire" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Inner Demons Help
Date: 13 Apr 1998 10:13:14 PDT

Ok.  I need a little bit of help here.  The disk on which I have all my
Fan-Fic stuff decided to do something weird with my Inner Demons file
and now, I can't access it at all.

So, if someone still has it, could anyone send me a copy of the revised
version of my story?

Thanks,

                        The Black Fire
                    [e-mail]
       http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shadowlands/4203
______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Cordelia's Mind (1/1)
Date: 12 Apr 1998 22:54:04 -0700

Title: Cordelia's Mind
By: Taygeta
E-mail: [e-mail]
Feedback: Do, please, I love feedback.  Good or bad, it helps me improve.
Disclaimer:The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.
Author's note:  Okay, I know it's not the best story in the world.  I did
this on a quickie, throwing a whole bunch of stuff.  So, Cordy comes out
a little ditzy, I know she's a smart girl, I just had to use her usual
complaints.  The last line was added for a funny, and hopefully everyone
will remember that line from an episode that I forgot the name of.  To
make a long story short, this contains spoilers.

*********************

Cordelia's Mind
By: Taygeta

Okay, I'm jealous.  I admit it, but what girlfriend wouldn't be?  I don't
know why I put up with it, and sometimes I wonder if I really, *really*
like him at all.  Half the time I want to kill him and the other half
kiss him.  The guy may be a dork, but I have to say he knows how to kiss.

    I don't see why he has this obsession over the slayer, anyway!
The girl's a nutcase and she's totally in love with a vampire.
Admittably, Angel is cute, but the blood-sucking bit is a real turn-off.

    Who does he think he is anyway?  Always rambling on about Buffy
this, Buffy that.  Who does he think he is, Buffy's White Knight?  God,
the girl can break him in half if she wanted to, what can he do for her?
And when I'm in a crisis, what does he do?  Call Buffy.  My boyfriend is
a wimp...but he's so sweet and cute and so nice sometimes.  Hmm...
    Then there's his long-time best friend Willow.  If it's not Buffy
this, Buffy that, it's her.  I don't know if he'll ever face the fact
that Willow's dating Oz, who isn't the greatest catch kind of on the
short side, but he and Willow are a cute a couple.
    Everyone thinks that I have a selfish complex, I don't!  I
*really* don't!  I think about other people, all the time!  Like
yesterday, I helped Xander get the start of a new wardrobe.  Do you think
I want to have a boyfriend that isn't color-coordinated?  Please.  And
the day before, I was giving Buffy tips to get rid of that thing on her
face.  You know, that thing?  Why is it that I'm the only one that's
noticed it?  After all it's right there!  No one can miss it...
    God, thought Cordelia's brain, my job sucks.

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: G90210 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: BBETA: Life's A Bitch (3/?)
Date: 13 Apr 1998 14:05:45 EDT

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  This was just a thought I had one day.  Because Buffy has to
deal with stuff, most people don't think exist(right they don't, come on now
for my own mentalness, they don't!) What about when she has to face real
stuff, like real diseases.  I don't know why I thought of this, but
oh well I did.

TITLE: Life's A Bitch
AUTHOR: mInDy    ([e-mail]      or       [e-mail])
SUMMARY: I don't know how to write one to this, so read.......it's about Buffy
and Angel for those of you who it matters too.
SPOILERS: None at the moment.
TIME LINE: After S/I
IMPORTANT: Angel IS good in my story, he does has soul, and the curse can't be
broken this time.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!!
WARNING: Major character dies. Look at the title and the language will be
explained.


Life's A Bitch
by: mInDy
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
    "So you're saying, that after tomorrow night, for the next 7 days, I'll be
just as weak as a normal teenager?" Buffy asked.

    "Yeah, I guess that's what I'm saying.  Which means Buffy, DON'T get yourself
in any trouble, if the other vampires know about this, they will certainly be
out after you." Angel warned her, concern showing very clearly in his eyes,
for her.

    "Oh yippi.  So in other words I'm stuck staying in for the next week, huh?"

    "No not exactly, if I'm there, it would be ok, but most likely it would be
easier if you just stay in side."

    "No Bronze?"

    "No Bronze." Angel stated for her.

    "Man, my social life is already bad enough that I'm dating 242-year-old, but
now, I can't even go out at night!" Buffy said and smiled up at Angel,"So what
am I gonna due for the next week? My mom's gone, remember?"

    "Oh yeah, well you could always stay with me.  I would feel better if you
were here." Angel said to her leaning closer.

    "I was hoping you would say that, sooooooo let me go home and get some close
and stuff, ok?"

    "Yeah, that's fine with me." Angel said, and leaned down, and gave her a kiss
on the lips.

    "Ok, then I'll be back BEFORE sundown, don't wanna push my luck." Buffy said
and walked out the door.
                                 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
    Buffy left her house a little later than planned, but she got to Angel's on
time.  *This is gonna be one weird week!  I mean I'm so use to having my
strength, I don't know how, I'm gonna be without it. Oh well, I get to be with
Angel for a week, a plus side to this bad note.*

    The night went on, and Buffy didn't leave Angel's house, she said she
wouldn't, why he made a trip to the hospital.  While she was gone, Buffy was
laying in Angel's bed listening to music on her headphones, when she heard the
door open, she figured it was Angel, so she went out into the living room, to
see him.  When she got out there, there was guy with a mask on.  He was about
5'10, Buffy guessed.

    The guy saw Buffy and went over to her with his gun pointing at her.  Buffy
started to get really scared, she couldn't fight, she couldn't do anything.
She was the normal teenager, she always wanted to be.

    The events that happened next, were all a blur to Buffy.  She remembered
trying to fight him off.  After she lost that, he pinned her down, and then
pinned her body down with his body.  He raped her, and the whole time, Buffy
was praying Angel would hurry up and come back. The guy left, before Angel
ever came back.

    When Angel came down the stairs to his apartment, the door was wide open.
When he walked in, he found Buffy, on the floor, curled up in a ball crying,
with her clothes torn off.

    "Buffy, God, what happened?" Angel screamed out, and ran to her side,
dropping the blood in his hands on the floor. "Buffy, what happened?" he asked
again.

    "Some guy .......broke in here....and......he....r-r-r-raped me."

    That's what broke Angel.  He couldn't stop crying. "God Buffy, I'm so sorry I
didn't get here sooner."

    "It's not your fault."

    Angel picked Buffy up, and put her in his bed, and covered her up.  Then he
got in bed next to her, and held her, and once she fell asleep, he got up, and
cleaned up the mess in his apartment, put the blood in the fridge, and shut
the door and locked it.  After he did all that, he went back in his room, got
ready for bed, and curled up next to Buffy, and went to sleep.
*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*
End of Part 3
Feedback......pretty please with sugar on top!

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (5/?)
Date: 13 Apr 1998 20:46:33 EDT

Lost & Found 5

Title: Lost & Found (5/?)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = violence and graphic descriptions (no sex)
Summary: Series after Vengeance - Buffy, Xander, Willow & Giles are all
vampires.  Drusilla is making Buffy pay for supposedly killing Spike.
Previous Stories: If you like this story but don't understand it, it's
probally because you haven't read Vengeance. That came before this one and
this is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories
at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html
Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask.
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe)
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the more
writting I do!  I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I just
want to know.

This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally
a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions
and some people may be upset by the story. There is a PG-13 rating on
this story however, there is no sex or sexual situations. Just some Buffy
like language and violence. This story will go on for a while, or until I come
up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong
to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc.

************

    "You made a big mistake coming here." Spike looked directly
into Angel's eyes as he hit him across the face with a direct back hand.
Angel stumbled back addressing the pain.
    "Nice shot." Angel was almost proud.
    "What'd you think I was going to do, just stand here while you smacked me
around?"
    "As a matter of fact..."
    "Don't get your hopes up. You came here to fight, and that's
exactly what your going to get." Spike kicked Angel directly in the
chin and he fell back onto the bed where Buffy was sitting. She looked
down at his suspicious face.
    "Hi there Buffy!" Angel's voice bounded with excitement as he
kipped up to face Spike again.  Angel punched Spike in the face several
times before kicking him in the stomach. The blow sent Spike falling
backwards.  Spike hit the wall behind him hard, and he collapsed to the
ground.
    "Oh, I bet that hurt." Angel walked over towards Spike and
picked him off the ground. Angel punched Spike in the stomach and he
buckled over in pain.
    "Come on Spike, it's no fun if you don't play along!" Angel
grabbed Spike's hair and lifted his head till their eyes met.  "Dru
was right, your weak."
    Fire rose in Spike's eyes as determination and anger took over.
Spike grabbed Angel by the throat and lifted him up into the air. Angel
let go of Spike's hair and reached for his throat. Spike's grasp was
strong and Angel struggled to break free.
    "What's the matter, too weak for you?" Spike tightened his grip
and Angel kicked Spike in the face forcing him to let go. Spike and Angel
both backed away from eachother.
    "You two are pathetic," Buffy said as she got out of the bed.
"Dru's right though, you're weak. You're both weak!"
    "You're one to talk," Angel said as he approached Buffy from
the right.
    "Yeah, you came here to stop this." Spike continued to nurse his
face which was covered in blood.
    Buffy stood still between the two of them in her long black gown.
The look of anger in her eyes deepened. Suddenly, Buffy grabbed Angel
by the hair, reached for Spike's as well and slammed their heads together.
They broke away from her tight grasp and both let out cries of pain.
    "Why the hell did you do that?" Angel held his head tight in his hands,
trying to force the pain away.
    "Because I wanted in on the action. Is there a problem with that?"
    "No!" Spike spun around and kicked Buffy in the face with a
roundhouse kick. "Not at all," Spike said as he watched her fall back
to the ground.  Buffy quickly recovered and stood up to face the both
of them.  Angel was still a bit disoriented but attempted to kick Buffy
anyway.  She caught his foot, mid-air and threw him aside. Spike took
the opportunity to get in another hit. His foot hit Buffy in the
stomach weakly.
    "Now I know you can do better than that," Buffy said as she
encouraged Spike to take another shot.
    "Yes, I can." Spike gathered all his strength and kicked Buffy
in the jaw with a switch-kick. She flew backwards and landed on her
back like a ton of bricks had just been thrown at her.  Buffy could
feel the teeth coming loose in her mouth. After a few seconds Buffy
jumped up with her demonic face on.
    "Look who wants to play!" Spike transformed his face as well
and ran towards Buffy. Buffy hit him hard in the face with a left hook
and he moved off to the side. Angel approached her from behind, now
feeling much stronger. He caught her off guard with a flying kick to
the back of the head. Buffy fell to her hands and knees in immense
pain.  She refused to let it show and got back up. When she turned
around to face Angel, she found that he had disappeared.
    Spike jumped on Buffy's back and grabbed her head.
    "If your not going to help me, you might as well die." Before
Spike could kill her, Buffy reached up and pulled him over her shoulder.
He landed on his back with a thud.
    "I told you, I *can't* help you."  Buffy walked to Spike's
side and looked down at his weak body. "But if you want me dead, it's
going to take a lot more than you got."  Buffy kicked Spike in the
side and he rolled over trying to escape her next move.
    "Now where did Angel go?" Buffy stepped away from a badly
wounded Spike and searched around the empty room for any signs.
Nothing. He was gone without a trace. "Oh well, more for Spike." Buffy
walked back over to where Spike had been to find that he had escaped
as well.
    "I don't have time for games you two." Buffy turned quickly
in circles around the room examining every inch. They were gone.

The more feedback, the more stories.
-Michelle

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" Interlude # 2:
Date: 13 Apr 1998 20:41:34 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Buffy, Giles, Cordelia,
Spike, Drusilla, Willow, Angel & co. are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: IÆve decided to help explain the past through
a series of interludes that will be interspersed throughout
the story as it goes on. These flashbacks take place about
9 years before "Reunion," give or take a few months.
Needless to say, if you havenÆt read "Reunion," this wonÆt
make much sense to you. If you donÆt have it, you can
write to me and request parts. My address is Ingrid29
@juno.com. Oh! BTW, I love to get feedback, except
when my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send
it anyway!


"Reunion" Interlude # 2:
"Act of Mercy"
by Ingrid


Angel felt again. It wasnÆt something dramatic, or painful.
The demon endured that. For him, it was simply waking
up, as if heÆd been asleep for the past year. Only it was
waking up to a nightmare instead of from one.

A real nightmare that would never in a hundred years fade
from memory. The memories of Jenny and Willow shot
through his heart like a barbed arrow he couldnÆt wrench
out. Like something that festered. He screamed as if he
were in physical pain.

He didnÆt have time to scream or mourn for long. A fist
struck him in the jaw hard. His eyes snapped open instantly.
Xander was there, blood dripping from his face.

The light was gone from his eyes.

Now they were merely dim spheres of dumb rage.

"YOU KILLED HER," he screamed at the vampire,
"YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED
HER AND YOUÆRE GOING TO FINISH HER OFF,
BASTARD!"

AngelÆs head spun. The boyÆs diatribe wasnÆt making
sense. How could she be aliv-

Buffy.

Buffy had hit him out of the way beforeà He heard sobbing.
Oh God. She was still alive.

Without warning, Xander yanked him from the grass and
shoved him at the crumpled figure on the lawn. Vaguely he
noticed Buffy unconscious near the wall, and Giles body
limply wrapped around the tree.

Willow *was* alive. She was writhing now, and clutching
her throat, the blood spilling through her fingers. Her hair
was spread about her in all directions, tangled, matted and
dark. Her eyes were wild and uncomprehending. Her
occasional sob was faint and pathetic.

"DO IT," Xander shouted, violently throwing him at the girl.
He fell on top of her and she gasped as his weight knocked
the wind out of her. He couldnÆt do this. Everything in him
railed against it. It made him sick to be this close. Yet the
demon stirred. Xander was roaring and Willow was crying,
and he couldnÆt think anymore. One last push and he was
at her throat again, finishing what the demon had started.

He felt the arms go around his shoulders and her body press
against his. She was so little! How could he be doing this?
She rested her head in the curve of his neck and she relaxed,
taking comfort from her killer.

This was making him sick. A burning in his gut made him feel
like he was going to throw up. When her arms went limp, he
released him self and moved aside, not wanting to defile her
any further.

His stomach ruptured, and he screamed again with the flames
lapping at his insides. This hadnÆt happened the last time he
got his soul back. Maybe he was dying. Maybe theyÆd let him
die. The blood curdled in his mouth, but he refused to spit her
life out. Blackness swallowed him.

*********
END, INTERLUDE # 2
"Listen, you: You think youÆre so cool with your conformed,
standard-issue smiley face that all the AOL trendoids are using, but
youÆre not. I refuse to covert. I like my smiley face, and I think noses
are ugly, for your information!"ùC.B.

Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to
Normalcy,"
"One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance,"
"Tragic
Sighs" and "Footsteps."

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (12/?) by Ingrid
Date: 13 Apr 1998 20:39:04 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia,
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: You know the story. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you
want to get this, ask me for them!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Twelve: "Xander"
*********

The first thing that struck her as he emerged from the foyer
was how different he looked. How much older.

He was dressed in a handsome suit, a well-dressed
reflection of his former self.

"Hi," he greeted them gently. There was a tired edge to
his voice. SheÆd heard it in CordeliaÆs voice too.

In a few seconds, heÆd caught sight of Willow.

"Hi, Xander," Buffy returned, and Angel only smiled as
Xander made his way over to the baby and looked into
her deep brown eyes.

A secret longing seemed to manifest itself for an instant
as he let the baby pull at his finger, and almost simultaneously
disappeared. His eyes flashed and he looked up at Angel.

They shook hands, and made eye contact. Angel could
see the last night theyÆd spoken in glimmering painfully in his
expression. That nightà

God

That Night.

Buffy wasnÆt surprised when Xander swept her up into
a big hug. This was the Xander she knew. The tiredness
had scared her more than sheÆd have liked to admit.

"Hi, Buffy." He *was* glad to see her. She breathed
a long sigh of relief.

"HowÆve you been?"

"CanÆt complain," he answered with a pleasant grin
as he pulled away from her. He looked at Cordelia
anxiously and then back at Buffy and Angel. "Well,
youÆd better get down to work, I guess. We can talk
at dinner. Do you have your suitcases in the car?"

Buffy handed him the key. "DonÆt strain yourself."
She laughed. Just like old times. Sort of.

"We set up one of the guest rooms for you,"
Cordelia explained.

"You didnÆt have to go through all that-"

"No trouble," she assured her.

Xander plodded out into the foyer, and they heard a
door open. Instantly, Cordelia was all business.

"Okay. Buffy, Corin and I have the prophecy almost
completely translated. IÆm sure Giles can take care of
the rest when he gets here, but that could be a little while.
He called me about 10 minutes before you got here. His
plane was delayed."

She turned to where Angel was sitting and addressed him.
"Maybe you could take a look at it now?"

"Sure," he shrugged, glad to be able to help. She went into
the kitchen and returned staggering with a gigantic book.
With an exhausting heave, she swung the book onto the
table in front of Angel. The sound echoed through the
high-ceilinged room.

Xander, who had been making trips in and outside for
the past couple of minutes emerged from the foyer and
brushed his hands together. "All done." He noticed the
book on the table. He directed his comment to
Cordelia. "Hey. I told you not to move that book without
me. Now your backÆs gonna be sore tomorrow."

"DonÆt worry about it," she smiled. It melted into a look
of concern when she saw Angel trying to adjust the baby in
his arms so he could better read the prophecy. It began to
fuss, threatening tears.

Cordelia was about to say something, but Xander intervened
first. "Here," he offered, holding his arms out in front of
Angel. Angel flashed a concerned look at Buffy, and at her
nod handed the child over to the other man.

As soon as Willow settled in his arms, she was completely
silent. Buffy raised her eyebrows, "Sure you havenÆt had
previous experience with kids, Xander?"

He spoke to her though he watched the baby intently.
"Nope," he smiled, as it giggled in response to his
tickling it, "not at all."

The corners of CordeliaÆs mouth turned up slightly as
she watched her husband with Buffy and AngelÆs daughter
A faint desire stirred within her for just a moment until she
forced her mind back on work and regarded Buffy.

"Now this is what weÆve figured out so farà"
***
END, PART TWELVE
"Lay beside me.
Tell me what theyÆve done.
Speak the words I want to hear
to make my demons run."
--Metallica, "Unforgiven Too"
(No, IÆm not a metalhead. I was listening to my brotherÆs
CD, actually, and I thought "Hmmà Angel and Buffy?"
Why Not? It works for me!





_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Dalton Spence <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: My Buffy Xovers
Date: 13 Apr 1998 22:34:35 -0400 (EDT)

Recently, I've gotten a lot of e-mail regarding my unfinished Buffy
crossover fanfics, ranging from the polite to the downright hostile.
First of all, I want to apologize for not replying before now; real
life (tm) has been very unpredictable of late, leaving me with very
little free time to write ANYTHING, be it fanfic or answers. In
addition, since all of my stories are set before or very early into
this season, recent events in the Buffyverse (particularly S/I and
its aftermath) have left me with a severe case of writer's block, as
I try to rewind my mind and remember what was and wasn't known or
expected way-back-when. (There has been quite a lot of character
development this season, and UNdeveloping them is not easy for me.)
I wish I could say things will get better, but unfortunately they
won't, at least not for the foreseeable future. Starting this
weekend, I'll be taking several continuing education courses that
will probably absorb all of my free time until further notice.

Since I don't want leave everybody hanging for ANOTHER four months,
I've decided to offer up what I have written so far as the base for
a moderated round-robin challenge. By "moderated" I mean that I want
to edit the chapters into a common format (straight ASCII, no smart-
quotes, block paragraphs, new para for each speaker, spell-checking,
etc.), send the edited version back to the author for revisions
and/or approval, and forward the version approved by the submitting
author to Buffy-Beta and Buffyfic mailing lists(1) and the Usenet
newsgroup alt.tv.buffy-v-slayer.creative(2). I should be able to
manage this, since editing takes a LOT less time than writing.

I would like to have at least four people lined up for each story
before we get started, and each author would have two weeks to write
their piece after the preceding part is posted. Once I get the
commitments I need for each story, I'll repost the original parts
before the new ones. In case you've forgotten (it's been a long time
after all) the stories are:

               "The Secret World of Willow Rosenberg"
            Buffy/Alex Mack xover (Prologue and 5 parts)
             (1) also to be posted on the WILLFIC list

            "REFLECTIONS: Warrior ... Innocent ... Fool"
              Buffy/Xena xover (Prologue and 4 parts)

               "MEN IN BLACK: The Hellmouth Incident"
            Buffy/MiB Movie xover (Prologue and 4 parts)

(2) Also, in an attempt to break my writers block on these stories,
I recently started a NEW Buffy xover (yes, I suppose I AM crazy)
with the Showtime TV series "STARGATE: SG-1" which I only posted on
the alt.tv.stargate-sg1 newsgroup and the sgfic mailing list so I
wouldn't get your hopes up. Only three parts so far, and like the
others I have no time to continue it. I call it "Hellgate: SG-1".
I'll post what I've got to the Buffy lists and newsgroup, and if you
like it we can round-robin it too.

If anyone is interested in participating, please e-mail me at
<[e-mail]> with "RR: (story title)" for the subject.

--

            @==================================================@
            | Dalton S. Spence, B.Sc. <[e-mail]> |
            | Home Page: http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/home.html  |
            |      Keeper of Cordelia's  Roll of Linoleum      |
            |      and Xander's Key to the Utility Closet      |
            |      Family Motto: Virtute Acquiritur Honos      |
            @==================================================@

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Angel's Lover" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Slayer be Slain ~ Third Mailing
Date: 13 Apr 1998 22:41:47 PDT


Okay.. the following is a repost of Slayer be Slain.. reworked and rewrit=
ten from the time of it's original posts.  As a warning, there is a direc=
t line taken from "Angel" in the third part, I realize this, and I meant =
this as a refference to Darla to explain Buffy's state of mind at the tim=
e.  The characters of Buffy, Angel, Giles, Willow, Xander, Oz, Cordy, Spi=
ke, Dru, and Ms. C (obviously this was written before Passion was aired) =
are not mine, they are the creations of the God of all Buffdom, Joss Whed=
on, Mutant Enemy Productions and Warner Bros.  Spoilers are from anything=
 before up to and including Innocence, tho the only direct spoilers are =
from Surprise and Innocence. I am not making any money from this, and no =
copyright infringement was intended.  Please direct all comments to Lea =
at either [e-mail] or [e-mail] .  Thanks for =
reading!!!!

_______________________________________

Slayer be Slain ~ Third Mailing


    Buffy leaped onto the bed, crawling in a circle before settling
into a comfortable place on the mattress.  Stretching out with ease, she
savoured the feel of the cool sheets against her skin, still warm from
her exertions of the night.  She purred softly with content as Angel lay
beside her, slowly stroking her back, her soft skin covered only by
light silk.
    "Did you have fun tonight, love?" he queried softly, his fingers
playing lightly over the strap of her slip.
    "Mmmm," she murmured, arching gracefully into his gentle caress.
"Can we play again tomorrow night?  With the watcher and the gypsy?"
    Angel sighed lightly as he lathered her shoulders with tiny biting
kisses.  "Playing with a child is one thing, Buffy.. but the watcher?"
    Slowly she turned over, allowing the weight of his hand to settle
upon her stomach before she arched up.  Her teeth bit into the soft skin
of his cheek, her tongue easing the abrasion as she kissed him lightly. =

"Don't you want the watcher's heart, Angel?  How many years has it been
since you last sank your teeth into such a tender treat?"  Again she bit
him gently.
    He weakened as she drew the tip of her tongue languidly over his
throat and softly nibbled on his adam's apple.  "Too many years to
count."  His voice was a low rumble.
    Her tone turned bitter, "And how much would you like to drain the
blood from the gypsy bitch?"
    He grumbled low in his throat, "Her blood would go far in soothing
me."
    Her lips gently brushed across his, pulling back so that only her
breath touched his skin, burning him slightly as she left him longing
for the slight contact.  Softly, she whispered, "Tomorrow's hunt would
please me."  Her fingers trailed teasingly down his chest, "Greatly."
    A smile slowly spread across his features, as once again promised
pleasure warmed his cold body.  Gently, he stroked the side of her face,
a low growl building in his chest.  "Tell me, how do I deny you, love?"
    Her tongue slid out to wet her lips as she smiled and replied
simply, "You don't."
    Angel sank his fingers deep into her hair, drawing her hard
against him for a searing kiss.  Finally he sighed in resignation.  "I
can't.  You win, Buffy.  When we awaken, we go to the library and
feast."

******************************

    The day was not wasted.  While the vampires slept, Giles, Willow,
Xander, Cordelia, Oz, and even Ms. Calendar prepared for the immanent
arrival of their one time friends.  Phone calls were made, pleas were
issued, reservations held, stakes were whittled, crosses were prepared,
and water blessed while the humans waited tensely for the night to fall.
    Giles had worked all night and day on a plan, a plan Ms. Calendar
was only too happy to help him put into motion.  Ms. Calendar argued
with her grandmother for a long time; in the end it was the death of
Jenny's uncle that convinced the older lady to voyage to America.  The
flight from Romania would be a long one for the elders, but by the time
the vampires arrived, everything would be in place.
    Tonight, with help, Giles would defeat his prodigy.


****************************

    They awoke early, Buffy's excitement too much to contain.  They
passed the several remaining hours of daylight in their room, preparing
themselves for the night to come.
    Buffy nervously paced the room, her eyes tracking the path of the
receding sunlight high on the walls.  Finally, Buffy came to rest upon
the black leather sofa that sat in the center of their room.  Angel came
to sit beside her, his expression concerned as she remained tense.
Moving slightly, he pulled her down gently so that her head rested in
his lap.  Slowly, he began to caress her back, easing the knots and
tension from her body in soft, sensual strokes.
    "What's wrong?" he asked as she finally began to relax beneath his
hands.
    She shrugged, "Wigged, I guess."
    He nodded, smiling down at her reassuringly, "They have no slayer,
love, and you know as well as I their strengths and weaknesses.
Besides, they are mere mortals.  Only you ever kept them alive this
long."
    She giggled, "My bad."
    His fingers trailed slowly from her back to her side, his strokes
becoming softer as she shivered lightly.
    A knock came at their door. As they were speaking, dark had fallen
and the others were leaving for the hunt.  Buffy and Angel looked at
each other and smiled; it was time for them to go on a hunt of their
own.  Both vampires quickly finished the remaining blood before rising
to their feet.
    Angel delicately wrapped Buffy's coat around her shoulders, slowly
lacing her boots for her.  Finally, all was prepared, and they moved
from the safety of their home out into the mortal world.

************************


Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea)
"Love makes you do the wacky!"
"When you kiss me I want to die."
"I'm SO the net girl!"

Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs!




-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Angel's Lover" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Slayer be Slain ~ Fourth Mailing
Date: 14 Apr 1998 03:11:57 PDT

Okay.. the following is a repost of Slayer be Slain.. reworked and rewrit=
ten from the time of it's original posts.  As a warning, there is a direc=
t line taken from "Angel" in the third part, I realize this, and I meant =
this as a refference to Darla to explain Buffy's state of mind at the tim=
e.  The characters of Buffy, Angel, Giles, Willow, Xander, Oz, Cordy, Spi=
ke, Dru, and Ms. C (obviously this was written before Passion was aired) =
are not mine, they are the creations of the God of all Buffdom, Joss Whed=
on, Mutant Enemy Productions and Warner Bros.  Spoilers are from anything=
 before up to and including Innocence, tho the only direct spoilers are =
from Surprise and Innocence. I am not making any money from this, and no =
copyright infringement was intended.  Please direct all comments to Lea =
at either [e-mail] or [e-mail] .  Thanks for =
reading!!!!  I apoligize in advance if this comes through several times..=
 I'm having a looping problem with my comp's mail system...

_______________________________________

Slayer be Slain ~ Fourth Mailing

The lights in the library burned brightly as the vampires slowly
prowled through the underbrush below the windows.  Silently, they peeked
inside, raising their eyebrows as it seemed all their friends were
gathered, waiting for them.
    Angel lay his hand upon Buffy's back as he directed her towards
the school doors.  "We dine well tonight, love," he whispered, softly.
    "Only the watcher interests me.  The others are just a bonus."
    "And the gypsy?"
    "Yours to do with as you please.  Afterwards, we share in the
heart of the watcher."
    He smiled coldly, holding the door open for her.  Together they
shifted into their vampirical forms, never hesitating as they turned
towards the library.
    They stepped through the swinging doors of the library to find the
tables and chairs that had only minutes before held their friends, now
vacated.  Both vampires frowned.  The lights suddenly were extinguished,
the doors slamming shut behind them, bolted from the outside by Willow,
who, with her friends, stood peering in through the window.  A soft word
was spoken, and long candles ignited in every corner, on every table,
and on either side of the door.  The pale, flickering light illuminated
the silver crosses now sealing the windows and doors against the
vampires' escape.  Buffy and Angel found themselves surrounded not by
their friends, but by thirteen ancient, withered strangers.
    Each of the strangers held before them a crucifix, a stake, and a
vile of holy water which hung by chains around their necks.  They were
standing behind ancient scrolls supported before them by black metal
stands Giles had obviously borrowed from the music room.  Looking around
in sudden concern, both vampires caught sight of Giles and Ms. Calendar
illuminated by candle light on the second story of the building.
    Buffy bit the bottom of her lip as she noticed that she and Angel
were standing amidst a pentagram. The edges were built with wood sealed
to the library ground, the center drawn with chalk into the marble
flooring.  Snarling she quickly cleared the pentagram siding, pulling
the nearest person into her grasp.  She bared her fangs, preparing to
sink them into the neck of her victim, barely registering the movement
of the gypsy's hand.  A biting pain tore through her shoulder as the man
drove the crucifix he wore into her flesh.  She stepped back in shock,
flinging the elder out of her grasp, sending him reeling into a marble
stand.  The other elders approached her quickly, driving her to her
knees with the power of their crucifixes.
    She glared up at a gypsy standing before her, numbing her mind to
the pain of the crucifix still embedded in her shoulder. Buffy darted
her arms out quickly, and pulled the woman to the floor.  Something
sharp penetrated the vampire's back, causing her to let the gypsy free
as she felt the wound for a description.  A wooden stake protruded from
her flesh, and with a frown she rose her eyes to see Giles holding a
crossbow.  Her frown deepened as she thought for a moment, then a
smile crossed her face as she suddenly as she pulled the stake from her =

body.  Darla's words came easily to Buffy's lips.
    "Close, Giles, but no heart."  The watcher moved towards the
stairs, trying to gain a better vantage point from which he hoped to
immobilize the girl.  With a sharp flick of her wrist, Buffy sent the
stake reeling through the air to enter Giles' leg.  He dropped to the
ground with a groan.  "Bad dog,"  she scowled, "Stay!"
    A glance assured her that Giles was not going anywhere too
quickly, so she returned to her stalking of the gypsies.  With trembling
hands the elders began shaking the viles of holy water in her direction.
    Buffy cried out as her flesh burned from droplets sprayed upon
her, turning in a circle as she tried to brush off the offending liquid, =

retreating slowly back into the pentagram.  Angel quickly pulled the
crucifix from her shoulder, burning his hand, but hardly noticing as he
made sure Buffy's wound began to heal.
    The gypsy from whom Buffy had tried to feed climbed groggily to
his feet, reaching for a vase that rested atop the stand he had hit.
With a quick flash of his arm, he sent the vase crashing to the floor,
spilling it's liquid contents to the ground outside the pentagram.
    The twelve other elders reached for additional vases placed around
the library, and one by one they, too, covered the ground in the clear
liquid from within.
    Angel stepped forward, angrily crossing the boundaries of the
pentagram, stopping suddenly as his foot came in contact with the liquid
from the vases.  His flesh began smoke, and a searing pain rose up
through his leg.  He hissed, stepping back quickly, at last realizing
what the gypsies had done.  The liquid was nothing more than water to a
mortal, but to a vampire it was worse than even acid.  The water had
recently been sanctified by a priest, making it impossible for the
vampires to step outside of the pentagram.  Angel snarled.
    "You think you can keep us here, Watcher?  Even holy water will
not keep us from ripping your heart from your chest.  All you've done is
slow us down.  We will destroy you, and now the gypsies, as well."  His
eyes tracked to Ms. Calendar, "All the gypsies."
    Giles shook his head, grimacing in pain, "No, Angelus.  You will
not drink from these people.  I do believe you are already familiar with
the  spiritual abilities of the Caulderosh tribe."
    Buffy rose to stand beside Angel and laughed.  "I'll call your
bluff, Giles.  Those spells have been lost for almost a century; gypsy-
Jenny there told us so herself."
    Ms. Calendar shook her head.  "No.  The possibility of the curse
my people placed on Angel breaking was too great.  One elder in each
generation has been given the power to once again cast that ancient
spell.  The need to protect each of these elders was far too great to
risk anyone but the chosen one to know of its continuing existence."
She paused, her eyes softening. "I didn't know until I called home,
Buffy. I swear, if I had I would have helped when the curse first broke."
    Buffy scowled, "Too little, too late, Jenny."  She grinned,
"You're gonna regret taking us on for the rest of your life.  All ten
minutes of it!"  She turned to Angel, "Let's do her last, so she can see
what came of her treachery."
    Ms. Calendar's face grew sad.  "One day I hope you both will
forgive me for all of this.  You were once my friends, I hope you will
be again."  Her hand rested on Giles' shoulder, "For now, we're enemies. =

My people will not abandon one of their daughters; you can't win."

Continued in Fifth Mailing.....

Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea)
"Love makes you do the wacky!"
"When you kiss me I want to die."
"I'm SO the net girl!"

Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs!




-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Angel's Lover" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Slayer be Slain ~ Fifth Mailing ~ Conclusion
Date: 14 Apr 1998 03:13:34 PDT

Okay.. the following is a repost of Slayer be Slain.. reworked and rewrit=
ten from the time of it's original posts.  As a warning, there is a direc=
t line taken from "Angel" in the third part, I realize this, and I meant =
this as a refference to Darla to explain Buffy's state of mind at the tim=
e.  The characters of Buffy, Angel, Giles, Willow, Xander, Oz, Cordy, Spi=
ke, Dru, and Ms. C (obviously this was written before Passion was aired) =
are not mine, they are the creations of the God of all Buffdom, Joss Whed=
on, Mutant Enemy Productions and Warner Bros.  Spoilers are from anything=
 before up to and including Innocence, tho the only direct spoilers are =
from Surprise and Innocence. I am not making any money from this, and no =
copyright infringement was intended.  Please direct all comments to Lea =
at either [e-mail] or [e-mail] .  Thanks for =
reading!!!!  I apoligize in advance if this comes through several times..=
 I'm having a looping problem with my comp's mail system...

__________________________

Slayer Be Slain ~ Fifth Mailing ~ Conclusion


The gypsies began chanting the words from the scrolls in low
voices, and a slow pain spread throughout the bodies of both vampires.
The ancient words the strangers were speaking were in an entirely
different language and made no sense in the vampires minds, but affected
them in ways Buffy and Angel hardly understood. Buffy looked at Angel
uncertainly as she suddenly doubled over in agony.  She cried out as she
dropped to the floor.  Buffy's right hand blindly stretched out for
Angel's comfort.
    Angel growled fiercely, fighting his own pain to take her hand and
gather her into his arms.  He glared at Giles as he held Buffy,
helpless, yet again, to stop the workings of the curse.  "I won't forget
this, Watcher!"
    Without warning, both Buffy and Angel were forced into their human
forms, and as the gypsies' voices strengthened, they both slowly lost
consciousness.  Giles sighed sadly, "I'm counting on that, my friends."
    Hours later, when the candles had burned low in their holders, and
neither vampire had moved from their unconscious states, the gypsies
voices finally came to a rest.
    The oldest gypsy, an ancient woman with a deeply tanned, wrinkled,
withered face, and long white hair flowing down past the folds in her
colourful skirts turned to face Ms. Calendar, who was supporting the
wounded Giles as they decended the stairs.  "It is done, Janna.  Their
souls are restored."
    Ms. Calendar nodded, "Thank you, grandmother."
    Slowly, the tired elders gathered together their scrolls and filed
out of the library, at last allowing back inside Xander, Willow,
Cordelia and Oz.  All four looked to the still silent forms of their
friends uncertainly, and then back to Giles.
    The watcher nodded, "Right, then.  Oz, if you would be so kind as
to bring around the van, I propose we return Buffy and Angel to Angel's
loft before the rise of the sun."
    Willow swallowed, the remnants of fear still playing over her
features.  "Will they.. I mean, are they...?"
    Giles sighed, "When they awaken they will be as we knew them
before the curse broke."  His eyes settled on the slayer and his
expression darkened.  "For the most part."
    As they moved to gather their friends, they found it difficult to
separate their bodies.  The fingers of Angel's and Buffy's right hands
were intertwined so tightly that nothing the watcher or the kids could
do would pull them apart.  Giving up finally, they carried the vampires
to the van together and gently their unconscious forms were lain out
side by side on the floor.
    Oz drove quickly down the road, over the familiar streets to
Angel's old loft.  Though the trip was short, the sun was rapidly
rising; the need to get Buffy and Angel back into the dark was great.
Though their souls were restored, they were still vampires and the light
of the sun was deadly.
    The loft was bare as they carried the still unconscious vampires
inside.  Angel had moved everything he owned to the warehouse.  Buffy
and Angel would have to rebuild everything, however material things,
easy to replace, would be the least of their worries.
    The humans left them alone in that loft, laying in each others
arms, their fingers still entwined.  Giles hit the switch on the wall as
he closed the door on his way outside, allowing Jenny to lead him back
to the van.  The artificial light of the apartment blinked out, it's
last rays illuminating the claddagh rings the vampires still wore.  In
the darkness, both hearts were turned towards the wearer.

THE END!


Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea)
"Love makes you do the wacky!"
"When you kiss me I want to die."
"I'm SO the net girl!"

Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs!


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Kirstin" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Fallen (2/?)
Date: 14 Apr 1998 04:05:07 -0400

title: Fallen (2/?)
author: Kirstin
e-mail: [e-mail]
rating: strictly G or PG here.  nothing anybody
can't read.
disclaimer: these characters are joss's, the
wb's, mutant enemy's, anyone
else who has a valid claim that i don't know
about's property.  they aren't
mine.  neither is the stuff from Gone . . .,
Anya's story, which this is a
sequel to.  the ideas here, however, are mine.
please don't steal them
distribution: ask and ye shall receive.
feedback: pretty please with a cherry on top.  i
can't decide if this is the end or not . . .

************************

Sometimes, it's hard to know how you would react
to something until it
happens.  I mean, sure, everyone has said to
themselves, "What would I do
if so-and-so were to die?  That would just kill
me!"  But none of those
people really know how it feels.  They don't
understand what it means to
lose your best friend.  The person you grew up
with.  The one who was
there for you when everybody else had something
better to do.  The person
who was friend, and family, and sole confidante -
when no one else wanted
to be.  None of those people knew what it was
like to have a Willow, or
to lose one.  And to think that she wanted more.
All those years, and he
knew nothing about it.  So she was in love with
him!  She was everything
in his world, and she wanted to be the only thing
she wasn't.  He was
glad that she hadn't told him.  Perhaps he would
have been better off
never finding out.  But at least this way, he
didn't have to cause her
any pain.  The person who given everything for
him, how could he tell her
that he didn't share her feelings?  He never
could have, to her face.
Not to his Willow.  But he couldn't have been
untrue to her either.  So
what could I have done, Xander thought ruefully.
Run away?  Well, I
guess I don't have to.  She did that for me.  And
now I have nothing.
When she left, she took away everything that
mattered to me, everything
that was good, and right with the world.  Xander
and Willow, that is
what's right.  That's the only think in the world
that I could count on.
Just Xander doesn't have the same ring to it.
Lonely Xander.  I guess
I'll have to get used to it though, because I'm
going to be lonely Xander
for a while.

Unless . . . but no, that probably still hadn't
changed.  Even if Willow
had left, he knew that one constant remained in
his life, the fact that
Buffy didn't love him.  Not the way that he loved
her, at least.  Maybe
Willow and I had everything in common after all,
he thought, unrequited
love seems to be a characteristic of our
friendships.  (Oh god, it must
have killed her to hear me talking about Buffy
all the time.  If only I
had known, I would have spared her that pain.)
But maybe . . . maybe
with Angel gone, Buffy could look at him in a
different way.  Maybe she
would see in him something that she hadn't seen
before.  Maybe she would
notice all the wonderful aspects of Xanderness
that she hadn't seen in
the year that he'd known her.  After all, he
reasoned, Angel has been in
the scene since the beginning of our friendship.
No one could have
competed with tall, dark, dead boy with his angst
and dark clothing.
Buffy had to pull the Romeo and Juliet bit, it
was practically a law.
But Romeo and Juliet died, and Buffy is still
alive.  And maybe she can
move on.  Maybe somehow she can see through the
pain of her loss to the
guy that is still around, the guy that has been
in love with her since
the moment he laid eyes on her.  Maybe she can
move on to me.  It seems
so natural.  We're all that we have left.  She's
all that I have, and all
that I want.  If she could only see me, really
see me, and really
understand how perfect we could be together.  If
she could only fall in
love with me, because the Lord knows I've fallen
in love with her.


-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Black Fire" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:Till Night Passes By (1/1)
Date: 14 Apr 1998 11:21:28 PDT

TITLE: Till Night Passes By
AUTHOR: Black Fire
EMAIL: [e-mail]
FEEDBACK:  If you wish.
DISCLAIMER:  The characters portrayed in this story belong to Joss
Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sand Dollar, etc...  I make no claim to them
what-so-ever, nor do I make any claim to the lines from "Jekyll & Hyde."
SPOILERS:  Up to Killed By Death.
SUMMARY:  This story takes place several months to at least a year after
the events of the last few episodes.  Angel has gotten his soul back
durring this time.
WARNING:  I was really, really depressed when I wrote this.


                            Till Night Passes By

    The room Angel walked into was a solemn one.  They had been gathered
around the hospital bed for a week now... waiting...
    They didn't notice him at first.  He just stood there in the doorway
watching them watch her.
    It was Willow who finally turned her attention to the door.  Her smile
was forced and the tears in her eyes were fresh.  But, in spite of that,
she slowly walked towards the newcomer.
    The look on her face told him all he needed to know - he was too late.
    "She woke up... a couple of times," Willow managed to choke up.  "The
first time, she was dilirious.  I think she was reliving what happened.
The second time..." she almost couldn't say it, "she wanted to go after
Spike for what he did to her.  Both time... she called out for you as
she slipped back into the coma."
    A red-tinged tear slid down Angel's cheek.  By this time, all eyes were
focused on him, and a heavy silence had fallen around the room once
more.
    Giles, this time, broke the silence.  "The doctors say she won't make
it.  She's been slipping away for the last hour or so."  He stopped to
wipe his eyes.  "I think that she was waiting for you."
    Angel only nodded as he moved towards the bed.  He didn't take his eyes
off her for a moment, not even to watch the others vacate the room.  He
just sat down in a chair next to her, took one of her hands in both of
his and waited.
    After a few minutes, she stired.  Weakly she opened her eyes and looked
at him.  "Angel?" she whispered, as if not believing he was really
there.
    "I'm here, Buffy," he answered.
    "Spike?"
    "He'll never hurt anyone ever again," he said.  His features hardened
into a mask of anger.  "I made him pay for what he did to you."
    "It was my fault," she whispered.
    "No it wasn't."
    "Yes," she said, "I should have taken him out before I went for
Drusilla."
    "You couldn't have known what he would do."
    "I should have," was the reply, "If it had been you instead of her, I
would have done the same."
    Buffy closed her eyes and let out a breath.  She stayed that way for a
while.
    "Buffy?" Angel asked, getting worried.
    "I'm still here," she answered, keeping her eyes closed.
    "I'm sorry I left," Angel apologized.
    "I know why you did," Buffy replied.  "I understood that you had to be
along for a while after all that happened.  I just didn't think that it
would be this long.  But I'm glad your here now."
    "Me too," Angel forced a smile.
    "Buffy shivered and looked at him.  "Hold me," she finally asked,
weakly.
    Angel moved over to the tiny hospital bed and gathered her in his arms.
He spent the rest of the night laying in bed with her, just holding her.

                      *   *   *   *   *

    At about 8:00 the next morning, the rest of them filed back into the
room.  Buffy was laying on the sunlit bed with a peaceful look on her
face; the first she had worn all that terrible week.
    The group began to hope that the worst had passed, that the doctors had
been wrong...
    That was when they noticed the thin layer of ash that covered her.
Willow reached over to feel for a pulse, but all she found was a cold
hand with something resting in it: it was Angel's Claddagh Ring with a
slip of paper rolled up inside it.
    She slipped the ring off the paper and read what it said:

    ...I'll keep you near me till night passes by...

    ...And I'll never desert you.  I promise you this till the day
       that I die.


Ok.  That's all of it.  Please send me any comments, suggestions, flames
you may have.


                        The Black Fire
                    [e-mail]
       http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shadowlands/4203


______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

-



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: G90210 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: BBETA: I Want You *POEM*
Date: 14 Apr 1998 19:31:24 EDT

TITLE: I Want You
AUTHOR: mInDy ([e-mail]     or       [e-mail])
TIMELINE: After S/I
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, but the idea to write this.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is from Buffy's POV, and directed to Angel.
WARNING: It's kinda........mushy to an extent.

I Want You
by:mInDy

I trust you,
I believe you,
No matter how dangerous this is,
I love you,
Their's no denying it.
I need you,
What would I give
Just to hold you once again,
Just to make love to you again.
My heart soared when you were near,
My body turned to mush.
That's what you did to me,
Over and over again.
Only time can till me,
If we'll ever be that way again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
FEEDBACK!!!!! I need it, I crave it!!!

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For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From:    Sarah Douglas <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (7/14)
Date: 14 Apr 1998 19:57:25


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy or any of the other wonderful characters in
the Buffyverse.  I am using them without the permission of the people who
do own them who are not going to sue me because I am not making any money
off this.  Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kusui and Sandollar own the Buffy
characters.

DISTRIBUTION: Just ask.

RATING: Probably PG

FEEDBACK: I would love to know what you all think of this.  Please send me
feedback.  Pretty please.  <[e-mail]>

SUMMARY:  Okay, well this takes place while Ms. Calendar is still alive,
but Angel is evil, so probably Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.  It's
another "Angel gets his soul back" story which I wrote to convince myself
that Angel could be good again.  It's kind of long and I'm sorry about that
you all.

AUTHOR'S MESSAGE: Okay, I'm back.  That's right, you thought you'd gotten
rid of me, but you hadn't.  Today, the dedication goes out to Tracy, who I
think I forgot to thank for sending me the spoilers.  Thank you very much
Tracy.

On with the show

The Cure (7/14)

Giles put the last book onto the makeshift shelves they'd set up.  Buffy
picked up her crossbow.

"I'm going to patrol.  Xander, Cordelia, do you want to go home?  Speak now
or you're not going home."

"No, I'm staying," Xander replied.

"Me too," Cordelia said.

"Okay, I'll be back in an hour tops," Buffy said, heading out with her
cross bow.  "No one leaves."

*******************

Angel led Dru to Willow's house.  Angel looked in the window.

"She's not there," Angel said with disappointment.  He thought for a
moment.  "Okay Dru, new plan.  We'll split a passerby and wait for Willow
to come home."

Suddenly, Angel saw a girl with dark hair on the road.  He walked out to
the sidewalk.

"Excuse me, do you know the time?" Angel asked her politely.  She turned
around and Angel walked towards her.

"Umm. . .yeah, it's eight fifteen," she replied.

"Do you go to Sunnydale High?" he asked.

"Yes, I do," she answered, but looked at him suspiciously.

"Do you know Willow Rosenberg?  I'm supposed to meet her, but I can't
remember which house she lives in," he continued.

"Oh, you're a friend of Willow's?  She helped me with science last year.
Umm. . this is her house," the girl pointed and headed toward the house,
"Yup, this is it."

While her back was turned, Angel put on his game face.

"Thanks," he said as he sunk his teeth into her neck.

*****************

Buffy sat on the wall of the graveyard, swinging her legs with her crossbow
ready.  She smiled thinking about her situation. <<How many teenagers hang
around in graveyards waiting for vampires?  Me, Kendra, and maybe a few
weirdos.>>

Suddenly, she saw a vampire come out of a grave.  She jumped silently to
the ground and headed towards it.  She aimed the crossbow and reached for
the trigger.  Then, out of nowhere another vampire grabbed her from behind.
 Buffy supported herself on the vampire's arms and kicked it in the knees.
It let go of her and she quickly shot it in the heart.  Then without
missing a beat, she shot the other one straight in the heart.

Buffy brushed off her jeans and smiled to herself. <<Two is plenty for one
night.>> Then she headed back to Oz's.

*****************

Jenny fell into the bed the elderwoman had had prepared for her.  Jenny was
pleased with her progress.  She had finished the training and they were
almost finished preparing the spell.

Jenny lay under the covers thinking about the work she had accomplished.
She was pleased and proud of herself.  As she drifted to sleep her last
conscious thought was <<Almost Buffy.  Almost.>>

****************

"Angel, the sun will be up soon, I don't think she's coming home tonight.
Let's go home," Dru said.

"Let's stop at Buffy's first.  I want to know if she's protecting Willow.
They might be at the library.  Come Dru," Angel instructed grabbing her by
the hand and marching in the direction of Buffy's house.

End part 7

Please send feedback.  If you don't send any, I'll assume everyone hated it
and stop writing.  Maybe.  Anyways, feedback to [e-mail]

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For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: NightHunter <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Her Darkest Hour Epilog
Date: 14 Apr 1998 22:38:31 -0700

Epilog Part 1 (Asking Willow)

Several Months had passed since Buffy had confronted her Darkest Hour=
.
After Catherine was killed by Willow, most of her spells were broken.=
=20
Giles had been turned back to flesh. However, Willow was still cursed=
 by=20
the bite of a werewolf. She had to be chained up every full moon. Xan=
der
was still a vampire, but, different.

Willow started to worry the full moon was coming up soon. But Buffy h=
ad
not come over to chain her up yet.  She had just picked up the phone =
to
call her when she heard a sound at the window. She turned around to s=
ee
Xander, so she went to the window and opened it.  "Xander, what are y=
ou
doing here?" asked Willow.

"May I come in Willow?" asked Xander.

"You never needed to ask be-- Oh, sorry, Yah come on in."Willow repli=
ed.

"Willow, I know you were expecting Buffy, but she had to  talk to Gil=
es,
and I needed to ask you an important question," said Xander as he
climbed
in the window.=20

"Sure! But Xander, the moon's coming up," replied Willow.

"Oh, right, sorry. I got the chains here if you'll lay down. I'll cha=
in
you
to the bed," said Xander.

Willow smiled. "You don't know how long I waited to hear you say that=
."
Willow said holding up her hand to stop Xander from saying anything.=
=20
"But I know that you love Buffy. I hope we can still be friends."

"Willow, you are my best bud. I mean it, we've been friends forever,"
Stated Xander. "That brings me to why I'm here. Uh... last night I as=
ked=20
Buffy to marry me and she said yes.  I couldn't think of anyone I wou=
ld=20
rather have as a best man, I mean woman. You know what I mean."

"Yes! I would be honored Xanderrrrrr," replied] Willow.  Her last wor=
d
ending with a growl as the change became complete.

Epilog Part 2 (Asking Giles)

Giles turned around form his desk, when he heard the library door ope=
n
and saw Buffy enter. She looked like she was in a very good mood.

He was even more surprised to see her do a double somersault through =
the
air landing on his desk. She sat down, and Giles found himself asking=
=20
"Buffy, what's got you so happy tonight?"

"Giles, you know that you've been like a father to me ever since I ca=
me
to Sunnydale. Letting me stay with you while mom is in a coma," Buffy=
=20
said. "And well, here goes. Xander asked me to marry him. I said yes =
and
I was well, u'know like wondering, if you'd walk me down the aisle?"

"Buffy, there's only one answer to give you. I'd be honored to be the
one to stand in for your father," replied Giles moving from his chair=
 to=20
embrace her in a hug.

Epilog Part 3 (Talking To Mom)

Buffy looked at the clock as she entered the hospital. It was a littl=
e
past 10 p.m. Just as she begin to wonder were Xander was, she felt a=
=20
hand on her shoulder. She turned around to find herself looking into =
the
eyes of her future husband.

Buffy and Xander entered the hospital walking past the desk. The nigh=
t
nurse the same one who was lifted up and held against the wall decide=
d
that it was safer to let the Summers girl and her friend into her
mother's
room,  even at this time of night.

Buffy carefully opened the door to the room that her mom had been kee=
p
in since the attack.  She moved over to the bed, leaning down she
brushed
a stray hair from her mom's forehead.

Xander came up behind and said, "Buffy. You need to be alone with her=
,
I'll wait outside."

"No! Xander, I need you here with me," said Buffy tears rolling down=
=20
her face, "I mean, I don't even know if she can hear me."

"She can hear you Buffy. Tell her what you need to." Buffy looked dow=
n
to see a familiar furry face looking up at her. She turned to see Xan=
der
looking at her with a strange look on his face. "Buffy did that cat j=
ust
talk to you?"

"I have a name you know, it's Fizzgigg, last of the Feline Mages. As =
I
was saying Buffy, you have the greatest power of all, love use it,"=
=20
said
Fizzgigg as he was engulfed in a bright white light.

Buffy reached over taking her mother's hand, "Mom remember when you t=
old
that everyone has a special someone. Well, I found mine. Xander asked=
 me
to
marry him and I said yes. Only one other thing could make me more hap=
py
then
I am now. That's if you could give me your blessing,." said Buffy as =
the
tears
ran down her face. She got up and turned to see Xander crying also.

"God Buffy! if I could I would do anything to bring her back," said
Xander.

They had just got to the door when Buffy heard something. She turned
around the see her mother smiling. "Buffy, if you love him then there=
's
no way I could say no." said Joyce, barely finishing before she is
grabbed
by too crying teens.

Epilog Part 4 (The Wedding)

After weeks of searching, Buffy finally found a Priest who agreed to
marry them after dark.

Xander, had been standing at the altar for what seemed like hours
"Willow, what if she changed her mind."

"Well Xander, I'm still free," replied Willow with a smile.

At that moment the march begin to play.  All eyes turned to see Buffy=
.
Dressed in a long flowing white satin gown with a long lace train
trailing behind her. Giles marched down the Aisle with her, arm in ar=
m
 they approached the altar.

The Priest began "Dearly, beloved, we are gather here today uh...toni=
ght
to join this man and woman in holy matrimony. Who gives this woman to
this
man?"

"I do," replied Giles moving Buffy's arm to Xanders.

"The couple have wrote their own vows," said the Priest.

"I, Alexander Harris, take you Buffy Summers, to become my other half=
.
For I have found that without you by my side, life isn't worth anythi=
ng.
I promise to love you more and more everyday. To stand by your side e=
ver
night. I want you to know that I'd walk through the fires of hell if =
you
asked me to."

Xander Placed the ring on Buffy's finger.

"I, Buffy Summers, take you Alexander Harris, to be my other half.  I=
t
was you who shined the brightest in the darkest night. You never left=
 my
side, no matter what the cost. You are my beacon. With you at my side=
,
the
night will never be dark again. I love you more and more everyday. An=
d
not
even the fires of hell will burn as long as my love burns for you."

Buffy placed the ring on Xander's finger.

The Priest moved back in front of the couple. "If there is anyone her=
e
who knows of any reason that these two should not be joined, let them
speak
now or forever hold their peace." When no one said anything the Pries=
t
continued. "Then, what, God has put together let no one tear asunder.=
 I
now
pronounce you, man and wife, you may kiss the bride."

Xander reaches down and removed the veil, Buffy and Xander kiss and
everyone cheered.

Buffy notices that the crystal arm band had started to glow, she and
Xander both heard a loud voice that said. "I, am very proud of you my
child. I give you this gift of my love. From this day forth your love
for each other will keep you together, always. Your life energies are
merged your two hearts  now beat as one.  Go, be happy."


The End

I know it all happened fast, so if anyone wants to write any stories
taking place before the wedding feel free to do so.=20


"One day, I shall come back=85Yes,  I shall come back.  Until then, t=
here
must be no regrest, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forth in all your
beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine."




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For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Leslie S." <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: Help and a question
Date: 15 Apr 1998 13:24:01 PDT

1.  I need to know that it is called when someone is allergic to the
sun.  Its like progeria or something and I need to know for a fic I am
wiritng.

2.  I need a few proofers for my sequal to "Guess Who's Coming To
Dinner."  (It was sent to the list back in February.)  I am mostly
concerned with content and dialogue being true to character.  Plus I
need reassurances that it does not suck!

Any help anyone can offer is greatly appreciated!

Leslie

______________________________________________________
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For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (6/?)
Date: 15 Apr 1998 16:39:40 EDT

Lost & Found 6

Title: Lost & Found (6/?)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = violence and graphic descriptions (no sex)
Summary: Series after Vengeance - Buffy, Xander, Willow & Giles are all
vampires.  Drusilla is making Buffy pay for supposedly killing Spike.
Previous Stories: If you like this story but don't understand it, it's
probally
because you haven't read Vengeance. That came before this one and this is
a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html
Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask.
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe)
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the
more writting I do!  I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I
just want
to know.

This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally
a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions
and some people may be upset by the story. There is a PG-13 rating on
this story however, there is no sex or sexual situations. Just some Buffy
like language and violence. This story will go on for a while, or until I come
up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong
to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc.

************
    Their limp bodies hung from the wall.  The chains held strong
and tight against their limbs.  Unconscious, Spike and Angel were
a bloody mess from their battle.
    "This is better than TV!" Xander quipped.
    "You know, I think you have a point there," Oz said smiling.
The two sat across the dungeon watching the motionless vampires
hang across the room from them.
    Spike awoke moaning loudly in pain. The chains were cutting into
his wrists and his body ached in pain he had never thought he was capable
of.
He slowly opened his eyes and examined his surroundings to find himself
hanging two feet off the ground.
    "What the hell is going on?" Spike's voice was hoarse and weak.
    "Look who woke up," Drusilla said as she entered the cold room.
    "Dru?" Spike couldn't believe his eyes. The love of his life
stood before him, powerful and more beautiful than he ever imagined
she could be.
    "You've been up to no good!" Dru glared deep into Spike's eyes
as if she was trying to burn a hole into them.
    Spike dropped his head. "I'm sorry, baby. I just..."
    "Hush. You lied to me. You left me. You're not entitled to be sorry." Spike
closed his eyes painfully.  He refused to raise his head because he knew she
had every right to hate him.

*******

    "I'll have a cafe mocha."  The server nodded and walked away.
Buffy waited at the counter for her drink while surveying her
surroundings.  Several people sat throughout the small cafe enjoying
themselves.  It made Buffy sick to her stomach to see such happiness.
    "Here you go miss." The server presented Buffy with a cup
and Buffy handed her some money.  "Thank you," the woman said.
    "Yeah," Buffy mumble as she walked over to a small table by
the door.  Buffy looked out the open door as she sipped her drink.
'Where could they have gone?' Her mind was filled with thoughts towards
Angel and Spike's disappearance.  Staring out into the cold night,
Buffy realized, 'the note.'
    In the rush of getting packed she dropped it on the floor of
her room. 'Xander must have found it,' Buffy thought as she slammed the
cup down onto the saucer spilling some of the hot liquid onto her hand.  Buffy
hissed at the burning pain. Grabbing her jacket, she rushed out
of the cafe into the open streets of Vienna.

********

    A hard back hand struck Angel's face, bringing him to a
half-conscious state. Drusilla stood before him waiting for him to
wake.  She grabbed his hair and pulled his head back. "Wake up!"
Drusilla yelled into his ear.  Angel screamed out and Dru let go
of his hair.  "What did you think you were doing?"  She waited
impatiently for his response.
    "Killing Spike," Angel managed to let out in a deep voice.
"If it wasn't for Buffy, I would have." The excruciating pain riveted
through his body with each word.
    "Buffy? You mean the both of you couldn't handle her?"
    "Both of us?!? He was working with her."
    "On what?" Dru was shocked to hear his words.
    "How should I know? I just know she went to a lot of trouble
to beat me here."  Angel tried smile hoping for her sympathy.
    Dru punched Angel in the face, knocking him out cold.  Spike
watched from the wall and raised his head to stare at Drusilla in wide-eyed
amazment.  She marched to the doorway flaming with anger.
    "Come on!" Drusilla indicated for Xander and Oz to follow her
out.  The door slammed shut, leaving Angel and Spike in pitch silence.

End Part 6. 7, 8 & 9 coming soon!
I'm no professional here, only 15 years old, so I really need some feedback
so I know how this story is going.

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For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Charity C Tran)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: My Moria (4/?)
Date: 15 Apr 1998 17:39:50 -0700

Title: My Moira (4/?)
Author: Taygeta
E-mail: [e-mail]
Feedback: Pretty please? *smiles sheepishly*
Distribution: Anywhere you think appropriate, but please tell me first.
Spoiler: Not really
Description: Twenty years into the future, 'nuff said.
Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.
Rating: PG-13 for language (sort of)
************************
My Moria (4/?)
By: Taygeta

    "What?" Buffy said, her jaw fell open in an agape expression as
her body stiffened in her husband's embrace, her mind unsure whether her
ears had heard correctly.
    "Moria is the new slayer," repeated Cordelia softly, hating the
surrounding silence filled with shock and fear at the battle that was yet
to come.
    Buffy closed her eyes and shook her head and denied incessantly,
"She can't be the new slayer!  I won't allow it!" and upon turning her
head to look at the young Watcher she yelled, "No!"
    "I know what you must be feeling right now-" Cordelia tried to
begin, but she was met by lachrymose eyes and a sharp, angered tongue.
    "You have no idea what I'm feeling right now!" Buffy stormed
pulling herself away from Xander's hold, "None whatsoever!"
    "You must understand that the world -" started Giles, trying to
calm his former protΘgΘ.
    "Screw the world, I don't care!" she said as hot tears spilled
from her eyes, "I have had enough of prophecies and duty and loyalty.
You told me, Giles, you told me it was all over, that I didn't have to
deal with the demons and the witches and the vampires, but I'm still
dealing, damn it!  Why do I still have to deal with it?"
    "You are not taking my daughter into the hell that Buffy had to
go through," Xander said coldly to Cordelia, "You aren't even going to
put her through the hell the rest of us had to go through.  For God's
sake, Cordelia, haven't we all been through enough?"
    "I'm sorry that I had to come here after all years to bring you
into this...again," the Watcher fumed, "You must know that I don't do
this purposely?"
    "Of course, we know that, Cordelia," Xander said with a sigh,
"And I'm sorry I yelled at you, but you have to understand we've been
pushed to the limit with all of this Hellmouth crap."
    "I know," said Cordelia nodding, and she glanced over at Buffy,
who was sitting silently on the couch, "Buffy, you must understand that
this how it is, and I can't do anything to stop it.  All I can do is
train Moira to fight and to survive...to live."
    "Even if you train and even if she's the best slayer this world
has ever seen, there's still that chance that she'll -" Buffy stopped and
sighed, and hesitated, but continued, "Cordelia, I don't want my little
girl to die."
    "Nor do I," she responded as she sat down beside her, "And I'm
going to let her die, none of us are."

*****************
End of Part 4

_____________________________________________________________________
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For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" Interlude #4 by Ingrid
Date: 16 Apr 1998 00:15:00 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Buffy, Giles, Cordelia,
Spike, Drusilla, Willow, Angel & co. are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: IÆve decided to help explain the past through
a series of interludes that will be interspersed throughout
the story as it goes on. This series is obviously meant as
a companion to the aforementioned "Reunion." These
flashbacks take place about 9 years before "Reunion,"
give or take a few months. Needless to say, if you havenÆt
read "Reunion," this wonÆt make much sense to you. If
you donÆt have parts 1-12 of it, you can write to me and
request them. My address is [e-mail]. Oh!
BTW, I love to get feedback, except when my mailbox
explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!


"Reunion" Interlude # 3:
"Comfort"
by Ingrid

His back slid down the side of the counter, the notches of
the cabinet handles poking his back. The floor was cold. He
slumped against the wall and curled up against the world.

Nice to know that he could do one final disservice to his
friend by showing up late on the night of her death. It was
just like him.

He was the taker, and she was the giver, and not once had she
complained.

Rain poured through the open window, soaking the muffins
on the counter top. He got up and closed it.

There was a knock at the door. He crossed the room and
opened it.

It took a few moments before he was able to identify her as
Cordelia. She was soaked, the mascara dripping at the corners
of her eyes, her hair limp and falling across her face. She was
shivering.

He stood there without moving.

"I just heard." She was practically convulsing now.

He let her inside and closed the door, taking one last look
into the blackness of the night and turned around.

"IÆm so sorry. God, I donÆt know what to say, Xander."

He kept walking towards the corner of the kitchen and
sat down again by the corner of the cabinet.

"I let it happen. I was late to our meeting,
and when I got there, she was alreadyà"

"Oh my God. You were there whenà"

"I couldnÆt have been there on time. I figured, ItÆs Will-
you know, sheÆll wait for me. I guess she couldnÆt wait
for me this time."

Cordelia approached his retreat nervously. "Xander."
She really didnÆt know what to say at all. So she settled
for something trite. "ItÆs not your fault. You know that."

"Maybe it isnÆt. Maybe I couldnÆt have stopped it anyway.
No, I couldnÆt have stopped it. But I could have at least
been there for her when he was draining her life away. I
could have screamed goodbye." The last words came out
choked and dry.

A sob, she realized. *Oh my God. Oh my God.*

He didnÆt say anything more, but the sobs grew louder.
She was standing in the middle of the kitchen shaking
and dripping wet, and she didnÆt know what to do.

So she crossed over to him, more afraid of rejection than
anything else.

His crying increased as she wrapped her numb arms
around him and began to cry with him. There was nothing
to say.

She couldnÆt bring herself to say that it would be
okay. It wouldnÆt.

She couldnÆt say she understood. She didnÆt.

She couldnÆt say that he suddenly mattered so much more
to her now, sitting here in his kitchen than anyone else.

But he did.

She couldnÆt tell him that she looked terrible, and it didnÆt
matter one bit.

But it didnÆt.

She couldnÆt tell him that her heart was beginning to ache in
a place she didnÆt know existed- a place that was reserved
just for him.

But she could feel the pain tearing at it.

So she cried, mourning the loss of Willow and the loss of
innocence.
***
End Interlude # 3

_____________________________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Kirstin" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Fallen (3/3)
Date: 16 Apr 1998 02:09:04 -0400

title: Fallen (3/3)
author: Kirstin
e-mail: [e-mail]
rating: strictly G or PG here.  nothing anybody can't read.
disclaimer: these characters are joss's, the wb's, mutant enemy's, anyone
else who has a valid claim that i don't know about's property.  they aren't
mine.  neither is the stuff from Gone . . ., Anya's story, which this is a
sequel to.  the song is by the lovin' spoonful, so i guess they own that.
the ideas here, however, are mine. please don't steal them.
distribution: ask and ye shall receive.
feedback: pretty please with a cherry on top.  i'm not so sure how i feel
about this part . . .

**************************

"Did you ever have to make up your mind?
Pick up on one and leave the other behind,
It's not often easy and not often kind.
Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Did you ever have to finally decide?
Say yes to one and let the other one ride,
There's so many changes and tears you must hide.
Did you ever have to finally decide?"

    This song has been running through my mind for days.  Maybe it's some sort
of Slayer thing.  You know, there can be only one, and that one will
be forever plagued by cheesy, yet prophetic, song lyrics.  It's probably in
the Slayer handbook or something.  Or maybe it's another prophecy  Giles
forgot to tell me about, like the one that said I would die.  Either way,
it's happening.  Because I do have to make up my mind.  I have to choose
between something I could never have, and something I never used to think I
wanted.  So what can I do?
    Should I hold out for Angel?  Exactly how long do I have to wait for him?
I've been home for weeks, without so much as a word.  He couldn't drop a
dime to tell me that he isn't dead?  Scratch that, he's been dead as long
as I have known him.  At first it really bothered me.  The whole not
calling, not writing, not saying good-bye thing.  But as time goes on, it
bothers me less.  I guess some of the memories are fading.  All that I'm
left with is cryptic boy's leather jacket and a cross.  And while they say
a lot, they don't say everything.  I didn't even really know how he felt
about me when he was around.  How could I possibly know what he's thinking
when he is away?  There is so much he never told me; so much we could have
shared.  But we made the decision to cool off.  I guess it gave him the
wiggins too, the whole Vampire/Slayer thing.  Maybe nothing would have
happened even if he had stayed.  Maybe I really didn't love him.
    Sometimes I felt like I loved him.  He was so romantic.  He was the
perfect tall, dark, and handsome prince.  Sure, there was the thing where
he drinks blood, but I could have looked past that.  Or I at least would
have tried.  When it didn't work out, then he could run away.  But to leave
me when things were so fuzzy gray area?  Did he expect me to wait?  Did he
want me to wait?  I don't think I will.  I don't want to wait until my life
is over for some guy who may never be coming back.  I'm not going to spend
eternity pining over him, when I don't even know how he feels.  I want to
know right now exactly how it's going to be.  If he can't tell me, I'll
find someone who will.
    But is that person Xander?  Is he just my Xander-shaped friend, or could
he be my love?  How will I know either way?  Sometimes, I think there
might be something there, especially lately.  Since Willow and Angel split
town, we've spent a lot of time together.  And after I was finally able to
see through my haze of Angel-induced depression, I had fun.  He had fun
too.  Together, we were able to forget about all of the bad things that
have happened lately.  Together, we were able to get past the sadness.  And
sometimes, it felt like maybe he was more than just a friend.  Like maybe
someday I could really care about him, in that way.
    I know that's how he feels about me.  I could tell even before he asked
me to the Spring Fling.  I think that he might love me.  Or at least he
thinks he does.  I think he might have loved me for a while now.  But I'm
just not sure how I feel.  Part of it is Angel.  Xander doesn't really
measure up in some areas.  He's not as tall, or breath-taking, or
dangerously mysterious, or exhilarating.  But he is cute.  I love his
smile.  And he's funny.  He can always make me laugh.  And dangerous and
mysterious are overrated.  Sometimes, it's nice to have reliable.  And he's
brave, so brave.  He has saved more times than I like to think.  He brought
me back from the dead.  It's like we have a bond between us.  I like that I
know what he's thinking, and that he knows how I feel.  I like that we can
talk about anything.  Angel and I never talked.  Things
are different with Xander.  I like it.  I like him.  I think I'm going to
give it a shot.  I'm going to see what will happen. Maybe there is a deeper
bond between us.  Maybe I'll fall in love.


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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: "Reunion" error
Date: 16 Apr 1998 10:53:19 -0400

I just realized that I made a boo-boo when I sent out the interlude
entitled "Comfort." That was supposed to be number three, and "Enough" is
the real number four. Hope that clears everything up.
-Ingrid

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (13/?) by Ingrid
Date: 16 Apr 1998 10:41:32 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia,
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: They finally get down to the nitty grittyà

Welcome to my story. It takes place ten years
into the future, but IÆm not telling you whatÆs happened in
advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time goes on in
the story. I love to get feedback, except when my
mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you want
to get this, ask me for them!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Thirteen: "Translations"
*********

"æAn old enemy returnsÆ is the first line here, see?" Cordelia
was pointing at the small text and Buffy was squinting to read
it.

"Right. Now whatÆs this?"

"Okay, now this is what we canÆt figure out. This part says
æslayerÆ and this part says ætime.Æ We figure that it has something
to do with the slayers throughout time and itÆs a measurement
of the difficulty this disaster will present."

"No."

They both looked over to the couch, where Angel was hunched
over the big book.

"ItÆs one slayer. Look at the article before it. ItÆs definite. I think
it means the previous," he corrected.

"Previous? Wait. That would explain why BuffyÆs having the dreams
too. These are ænow,Æ and this is æprevious,Æ andà hmmà"

"Cordelia. Tell me thatÆs a æthe new slayer and the old slayer have a
party and the whole gangÆs invitedÆ kind of æhmm.Æ"

"Well it is if you consider a bunch of vampires warping time a
party," Angel announced.

"Huh?"

"As far as I understand, thatÆs what it means by æset things rightÆ in
this context. That would also explain why youÆre involved. It must
have been a vampire youÆve faced thatÆs responsible for this. But
who? I canÆt think of anyone left alive that has both enough power and
enough motivation to-"

"Spike."

"Spike?"

"I saw him in my dream."

"Me too, and so did Corin, or at least I think she did."

"He wants to bring her back," Angel affirmed.

"Drusilla," Cordelia added.

"Damn."

"What does it say about the outcome?"

"ThatÆs another problem. ItÆs something about a death."

"A death will restore time. Whose death?"

"ThatÆs the end. There isnÆt anything else that indicatesà"

"What about this?"

"A friend emerges from the shadows."

"Well IÆm a friend," Buffy continued, "but I donÆt think IÆve
æemerged from the shadows.Æ Unless you consider L.A. a
shadow." Her attempt at humor fell flat.

She perked up immediately. "Hey, maybe itÆs Angel?"

"Hmmà Maybe."

"I think we should worry about Spike first. A friend can only
help us, right?"

Someone knocked perfunctorily at the door. Giles.
***
END, PART 13.

_____________________________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" Interlude #4: "Enough" by Ingrid
Date: 16 Apr 1998 10:50:34 -0400

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Buffy, Giles, Cordelia,
Spike, Drusilla, Willow, Angel & co. are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: IÆve decided to help explain the past through
a series of interludes that will be interspersed throughout
the story as it goes on. This series is obviously meant as
a companion to the aforementioned "Reunion." These
flashbacks take place about 9 years before "Reunion,"
give or take a few months. Needless to say, if you havenÆt
read "Reunion," this wonÆt make much sense to you. If
you donÆt have parts 1-12 of it, you can write to me and
request them. My address is [e-mail]. Oh!
BTW, I love to get feedback, except when my mailbox
explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!


"Reunion" Interlude # 4:
"Enough"
by Ingrid

"Come on- You should go to bed. I donÆt know where your
parents, are, but-"

"Oh God. My parents. They donÆt know yet. What will I tell
them?" He looked around. "What day is it?"

"ItÆs Friday." She looked at her watch, rubbing at her eyes. "Well,
technically Saturday," she answered, her voice still shaky.

"TheyÆre gone. For the weekend. Some business thingà" He trailed
off and looked at her.

She grew uneasy. Maybe he didnÆt want her here after all. It was too
private, too personal. For all the groping theyÆd done, they didnÆt
know all that much about each other at all.

"Xander?"

"You look terrible," he observed, his own voice a tenuous mess. He
reached out and touched her face, wiping at the running make-up there.

She smiled and tried to fill her lungs with air. Her eyes were still
burning.
"I know," she breathed, "so do you." And laughed from behind the tears.

The silence blended comfortably with the rain on the window. "And youÆre
shaking," he continued, and pulled her into a comforting hug.

"So are you," she grinned, relaxing in his arms, comfortable even though
she was sitting on a kitchen floor, in wet clothes, curled up to her
equally
wet boyfriend.

Slowly, he pulled them both up to their feet. "Come on," he prodded, and
they made their way up the carpeted stairs leaning on each other.

"Where are we going," she asked quietly.

"To get cleaned up," he explained, and led her into the bathroom.

***

Tenderly, with as steady a hand as he could manage, he dabbed at the
black lines running down her cheeks. She closed her eyes at the touch,
completely unfamiliar to such gentleness; even unaware that such a
thing existed.

"Xander," she whispered.

He shushed her with his lips, letting the washcloth slip from his hands
to fall where it might. The kiss was so soft- little more than a breath
on her mouth. She had to bite her lip to stop from whimpering.

"Xander," she pleaded.

He pulled away reluctantly, leaving her lips warm and tingling.

"ThatÆs right," he breathed. "IÆm sorry. I forgot what we were
supposed to be doing. Wait right here."

She sat in the bathroom alone, reeling from the last few moments
here. Him.

He returned shortly with some clothes in his hands.

Boxers and a large navy T-shirt.

"Here. Change into these." He smiled at her before closing the door.
"IÆm gonna get changed in my room. Be back in a second," she heard
from down the hall.

She peeled the wet designer fabric from her body and toweled herself
off. Her long hair was slowly but surely drying. The clothes heÆd
given her were warm. Comfortable. She knew they must have been
his.

What was she doing here, anyway?

She was supposed to be home-

What the hell was she worried about? It didnÆt matter. It wasnÆt like
they would miss her anyway.

But she would miss him, if she left. Maybe he would even-

He knocked at the door. "Come in," she mumbled. He opened it
and she followed him down the hall.

She didnÆt notice much about the bedroom. It was enough that she
was there, in the place where he lived, slept, and dreamed. It was
enough that heÆd chosen to let her into his personal space and stay
for a while.

Wordlessly, she crept under the sheets with him and curled up
against him. And for once, it was enough.
 ***
END, Interlude # 4

_____________________________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: Fallen (3/3)
Date: 16 Apr 1998 17:49:00 EDT

(I'm the last one who should criticize, but here it goes.) The last part of
Fallen seems pretty unrealistic. Don't get me wrong; it's written
terrifically, but some parts contradict the show. In your story, Buffy doesn't
know if she loves Angel, but on the show she totally does. She also doesn't
know if Angel loves her, but he said so in the episode Suprise. She probably
wouldn't fall in love with Xander anyway. Don't let me discourage you though.
You've got good writing skills.

-Jaclyn

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Broken Bonds (Part 1)
Date: 16 Apr 1998 21:53:07 -0400

Title:       Broken Bonds (Part 1)
Author:      Northlight
e-mail:      [e-mail]
Summary:     Giles dissapears and bad things start happening.
Note:        Thanks to all who offered their help.
Disclaimer:  They aren't mine.

                            ****

    Hurry.

    The word vibrated through Giles' mind as the telephone dropped from his
numb fingers.  He sat behind his desk, his body paralyzed by shock and
fear.  'This can't be happening!' the unbelieving emotional part of his
mind informed him.

    But it was.  This possibility had always hovered in the back of his
mind, but Giles had consistently denied that traitorous thought.  Until
now.  'And now it may be too late'.

    His paralysis broke, and Giles shot back from his desk.  Where he had
been unmoving only moments before, action now took place.  Giles rose to
his feet, looking around the dimly lighted office that had practically
become his home during his stay in Sunnydale.  Now, the small room
looked strange, dangerous.  'Don't just stand there, move!' his mind
ordered.

    Giles grabbed up his Watcher's journal, quickly stuffing it into his
briefcase.  He would not allow the knowledge in that volume to fall into
the hands of his enemies.  It would be a small victory to keep it from
them, but at the moment Giles was willing to take any victory that he
could.

    'Oh God... Buffy!'  Giles jerked to a stop, his frantic rummaging
stopped by the thought of the young Slayer that he had sworn to
protect.  He had to warn her.  'I can't let them get to her.' The
thought of what would happen to Buffy should he be taken shook Giles to
the very center of his being.  'I won't let that happen, I can't!'
"I have to warn Buffy," Giles mumbled, fear marking his low words.

    The sound of an approaching car drew Giles towards the window.  He
peeked out, his heart pounding frantically.  "No!" he groaned as the
doors to the car swung open, two men emerging from it.  "I'm too late!"

    Hurry.

    He had to run.  He had no other options.  Buffy would be alright. She
was smart,  and he had trained her to the best of his ability.  She had
friends to help her.  She would be fine.  'If anything happens to her--
No!  I can't think that!'  Giles roughly shook his head, forcing the
thoughts of Buffy to the back of his mind for the moment.  He had more
pressing things to worry about at the moment, and he would be of no help
to her if he were to get caught now.

    Hurry.

    Giles clutched his briefcase in sweaty hands and darted towards the
door.  He ran through the darkened halls blindly, fear driving him
forward.  Soft whispers and creaks assulted his straining ears, sending
Giles hiding behind the unlocked door of a nearby classroom.

    He stood motionless, only strength of will keeping him from abandoning
his precarious hiding place and running.  Giles listened intently as the
soft sound of footsteps approached him.  After doors swung open with low
squeals of protest, he could hear the footsteps gradually approaching
the room he stood in.

    Giles knew what he had to do.  Strangely, a plan of action soothed his
pounding heart slightly.  Blind fear no longer claimed his mind, clarity
of mind descended on him as his determination to act took hold.  'I only
hope that this works' Giles offered up in  silent prayer as the door to
his room opened.  The moment that it did, Giles sprung forward, his
briefcase smashing into the shocked man's jaw with a sickening crunch.
The man fell backwards, landing in the hall with a pained grunt.  Giles
didn't waste a moment of the man's disorientation.  He came down on him
again, his briefcase once more striking the man.  He brought the leather
bound case down on the base of the weakly struggling man's head until he
no longer moved.

    The moment the man limply slumped to the ground, unconscious, Giles was
once again sprinting down the hall.  'I wonder if they truly thought
that I would be so easy to take that they only had to send two?' Giles
wondered.  'But then again, I doubt that they knew that I would be
forewarned of their arrival.'

    He met no more resistance on his flight from the school, and within
moments, Giles burst from the building, heading into the night.

                        End Part 1

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Anexsin <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Things We Do For Love (2/5)
Date: 17 Apr 1998 00:15:13 EDT

TITLE:  The Things We Do For Love (2/5)
AUTHOR:  Melinda Frango
EMAIL ADDY:  [e-mail]
DISTRIBUTION:  Please, ask first.
FEEDBACK: Greatly appreciated.
RATING: PG, for the usual Buffy language.
SPOILER: All episodes have happened, but major spoilers for "Passion"
DISCLAIMER: Anything that has to do with the Buffyverse in anyway,
belongs to Joss Whedon, WB, etc. Only the story is mine.
SUMMARY: The gang restore Angel's soul, aided by the yellow disk.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know I already wrote a story in which Angel gets his
soul back, but this one is a direct sequel to my other two stories "Moments
of  Truth" and "Unexpected Confrontation" and is in no way related to my
other one. This one takes place immediately afterwards, so if you didn't
read those two, you wil be confused with this one. If you want to read them,
email me privately and I'll send them to you. Oh, and this * represents
thoughts.


~~~~~~~~~~~

On the other side of town in the abandoned, and now burnt factory, Spike
sat in a chair and watched Drusilla hang on her sire's every word. Ever
since Angel lost his soul and reverted to Angelus, things have gone downhill
for Spike. First he'd been confined to a wheelchair for weeks because of
the fire he got caught in, compliments of the Slayer, and now Angelus
was making the moves on Drusilla, causing Spike to be more than upset.

*I'm going to do whatever it takes to get rid of Angelus, even if it means
helping the Slayer,* Spike vowed to himself. *Like I said, you're going down
Angelus. You can't just saunter in here and take over my territory like..like
I don't exist! I'll make you pay*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay, so what exactly are we looking for?" Cordelia questioned.

Buffy and the group were in Ms. Calendar's old computer room in the
school the following day. When Buffy called all her friends, some were
reluctant to help out, and some willingly agreed to help . Xander being a
reluctant one, and Willow being a willing one.

"A yellow disk, that goes in a computer," Willow reminded her.

"You know I don't know why we're doing this? Why not just stake the
bastard? I mean he killed Ms. Calendar, and now you're going to go
and restore his soul? I don't get you," Xander complained.

"First off, Angel and Angelus are two different people, Angel would never
 do anything that Angelus has done. Secondly, you don't have to be here.
No one is forcing you to help. Besides, you saw for yourself that Angel
is separate from Angelus when he came here yesterday," Buffy stared
at him.

Xander breathed a sigh. "I'm sorry...it's just,"

"I know, Xander, and I didn't mean to sound harsh," Buffy whispered.

Xander just smiled at her understandingly and she returned the smile.

"What if the disk is gone, I mean it's been a while," Oz asked.

"I found it!" Willow shouted. "I found it!"

Willow was jumping up and down, holding the disk in her hand.

"Where was it?" Giles questioned.

"Between the desks here. It must of been knocked there," Willow
answered.

Buffy walked towards Willow with a smile, then grabbed her friend in a
hug, sharing her enthusiasm.

"Well let's see what it says we have to do," Giles proceeded.

The group left the room, and reconvened in the library. Willow sat down
at the table with her laptop in front of her; carefully inserting the disk
into
the drive, and waited while it uploaded the information. When it was done
the words "The Ritual of Restoration" appeared on the screen.

"This is it," Willow confirmed.

"What do we need?" Xander asked.

"There's some words that have to be said, and a...Orb of Thesulah. Where
are we supposed to get that?"

"What is that, anyway?" Buffy asked confused.

"An Orb of Thesulah is supposed to summon a person's soul from the
ether, and hold it in the orb until it can be transferred," Giles informed
them.

"Are you saying we have to put Angel in this orby thing?" Buffy inquired.

"His soul, Buffy."

"That's what I meant."

"Well then yes that's what we need to do."

"Well we can't do anything with the orb so, I can make lots of copies
of this ritual, on more disks, and print it out, just in case..." Willow
trailed off.

"Yes, very good idea, I'll a..see if I can track down an orb. The sooner
we perform this ritual, the sooner Angelus stops terrorizing us," Giles
agreed.

They all nodded in agreement, and Willow went about copying the ritual
as many times as possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to be continued.....

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For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Anexsin <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Things We Do For Love (1/5)
Date: 17 Apr 1998 00:15:03 EDT

TITLE:  The Things We Do For Love (1/5)
AUTHOR:  Melinda Frango
EMAIL ADDY:  [e-mail]
DISTRIBUTION:  Please, ask first.
FEEDBACK: Greatly appreciated.
RATING: PG, for the usual Buffy language.
SPOILER: All episodes have happened, but major spoilers for "Passion"
DISCLAIMER: Anything that has to do with the Buffyverse in anyway,
belongs to Joss Whedon, WB, etc. Only the story is mine.
SUMMARY: The gang restore Angel's soul, aided by the yellow disk.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know I already wrote a story in which Angel gets his
soul back, but this one is a direct sequel to my other two stories "Moments
of  Truth" and "Unexpected Confrontation" and is in no way related to my
other one. This one takes place immediately afterwards, so if you didn't
read those two, you wil be confused with this one. If you want to read them,
email me privately and I'll send them to you. Oh, and this * represents
thoughts.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What kind of news?" Buffy asked curiously.

Buffy could hear Giles take in a deep breath on the other end of the
phone line, then he continued.

"I just read the letter from Jenny; it says she was working on a cure to
restore Angel's soul, and that's why he came after her," Giles informed
her.

"B-But she said it wasn't possible, and now she's dead so the cure is lost
once again," Buffy sounded dejected.

"She said he destroyed that dread machine and the printouts, but she
managed to save it to a yellow thingy...a.."

"Disk," Buffy supplied.

"Yes, that's it. It's in the computer room somewhere," Giles finished.

"Are you saying if we find it you're willing to give Angel back his soul?"
Buffy questioned, hope rising up within her.

"Y-yes, it was her last wish. I want to do this for her."

"Well tomorrow's Saturday so if you're willing to let me skip my training
session, we can gather everyone up and look for the disk."

"I see good reasoning in that," Giles agreed.

"Good," Buffy said perkily. She was happy that she got out of training
for a day, and even happier that there may be a remote possibility of
bringing Angel back. After seeing him today she knew there was a
chance. Her heart told her so.

"Don't get your hopes up to much, Buffy. This could not end up the
way we want it to," Giles warned.

"I know, Giles. I know."

"Get some sleep, Buffy."

"You to," Buffy ordered. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, see you tomorrow."

"Bye."

"Bye," Giles ended the conversation.

After Buffy placed the reciever onto it's cradle she smiled brightly.
"We're going to bring you back, Angel. I won't let you down. I love you,"
she whispered.

"I love you too," she faintly heard, like a breath on the wind.

And that's when she knew Angel was watching over her, and waiting to
come back to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After saying goodbye to Buffy, Giles hung up the phone, and settled back
down onto the couch. He closed his eyes and whispered, "I hope your
happy now Jenny."

"I am Rupert, I am," her assurance resonated around him.

He smiled and fell into calm, peaceful slumber.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To be continued.......

To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command

    subscribe buffyfic-digest

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    subscribe buffyfic

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approve your subscription request, so it may take some time.

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    http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM

For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Anexsin <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Things We Do For Love (4/5)
Date: 17 Apr 1998 00:15:37 EDT

TITLE:  The Things We Do For Love (4/5)
AUTHOR:  Melinda Frango
EMAIL ADDY:  [e-mail]
DISTRIBUTION:  Please, ask first.
FEEDBACK: Greatly appreciated.
RATING: PG, for the usual Buffy language.
SPOILER: All episodes have happened, but major spoilers for "Passion"
DISCLAIMER: Anything that has to do with the Buffyverse in anyway,
belongs to Joss Whedon, WB, etc. Only the story is mine.
SUMMARY: The gang restore Angel's soul, aided by the yellow disk.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know I already wrote a story in which Angel gets his
soul back, but this one is a direct sequel to my other two stories "Moments
of  Truth" and "Unexpected Confrontation" and is in no way related to my
other one. This one takes place immediately afterwards, so if you didn't
read those two, you wil be confused with this one. If you want to read them,
email me privately and I'll send them to you. Oh, and this * represents
thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angelus was fuming as he ran in the direction of the library. Just the
thought of having his soul restored was repulsing to him. When he killed
the Gypsy, he had thought he put an end to even a remote chance of that
ritual being found, but infinitely he was wrong.

"That's what that twit meant when he decided to pop up," he mumbled
to himself. "Can I be sure? He knew, my damn soul knew he'd have
control again, but I won't let it happen. Tonight they all die."

When Angelus reached the front steps of the school, he slipped into
his vampire guise, and with a feral grin made his way to the library.
Little did he know that his approach to the situation was leading him
to his own demise.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Giles, Buffy, and the rest of the slayerettes were ready for Angelus'
arrival, so when he burst through the library doors and strode through
with a look of pure hatred and anger etched upon his vampire face, they
knew it was time.

"Give me the damn orb!" he screamed. "I won't let you return it, not
again!" he growled loudly.

"You don't have a choice," Buffy replied, her voice tight with conflicting
emotions. Hate for the creature standing in front of her, and hope that
her love would soon replace it.

He snarled viciously and lept at her. He grabbed her arms in a death
grip, and forced her against the wall. He trapped her between his body
and the wall, and held his face menacingly a few inches from hers.

"Give me the orb, or die now," he hissed.

"Go to hell, you sick bastard," she hissed in return.

He laughed emotionlessly. "Then you die," were his last words as his
fangs descended towards the soft flesh of her neck.

Her struggling ceased when she realized they were to no avail, his
hands had her arms pinned tightly to her sides and his body pinned
hers against the wall. Just when she was going to surrender the hope
she held onto for such a long time she saw Giles finish reciting the end
of the ritual, over Angelus' shoulder.

The orb began to shake violently, while the etheral glow inside began to
grow brighter. The slayerettes gripped each others hands tightly as they
watched in fascination, until they had to shield their eyes from the
blinding white light that began to eminate from within it.

Angelus was so consumed with the thought of ending Buffy's life that he
was oblivious to what was going on around him.

Before any one knew what was happening, the orb shattered and the
light which was stored inside directed itself at  Angelus. He jerked
his head up, and stared at Buffy with horror in his eyes.

"No," he whispered quietly, shaking his head in denial. As if the simple
act would ward off what was happening to him. "No!" he yelled louder as
he sank to his knees.

The light which had now wrapped itself around the demon gave off one
 final blinding blaze before seeping into the body, leaving the vampire
laying on the floor unconscious.

The others rubbed their eyes with their fists trying to get there eyes to
adjust once again, while Buffy checked her neck nervously for marks,
and when none could be found she kneeled beside what would hopefully
be her Angel.

"Angel," she whispered, gently shaking him. "Angel, can you hear me?"

He moaned quietly and slowly opened his eyes. "Buffy," he murmured.

One look into his eyes and she knew it was her Angel, she smiled
happily and nodded slightly as the tears began to spill over. She
helped him sit up against the wall for support, and then he brought
his knees up to his chest and rested his elbow against them which
held his pounding head.

"How are you feeling?" she asked concerned. The others simply
watched.

"Like I got hit by a really big truck," he murmured as he made an
effort to stand up.

Buffy helped him stand up, and he muttered his thanks. Then he
looked around out all the others standing there watching him and
he sighed.

"Thank you...I think."

Giles nodded his head. "Like I told you before Angel you always have
a place here."

"I'll remember that," he replied as he headed towards the exit.

"Wh..where are you going?" Buffy asked hurriedly.

"I-I need to be alone for awhile. To think, to clear my head, I..."

"I understand," Buffy stated.

He nodded his thanks and stumbled out of the library still clutching his
 head in his hand.

Buffy looked towards her friends and chocked back a sob. "Well....,"
she trailed off.

"Come on, let's follow him," Xander offered with a slight smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To be continued.......


To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command

    subscribe buffyfic-digest

    or

    subscribe buffyfic

to [e-mail].  You will need to go through a
confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually
approve your subscription request, so it may take some time.

Back issues of this digest can be found at:

    ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/

Dalton Spence has also provided an index of the buffyfic archive at:

    http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM

For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Anexsin <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Things We Do For Love (3/5)
Date: 17 Apr 1998 00:15:26 EDT

TITLE:  The Things We Do For Love (3/5)
AUTHOR:  Melinda Frango
EMAIL ADDY:  [e-mail]
DISTRIBUTION:  Please, ask first.
FEEDBACK: Greatly appreciated.
RATING: PG, for the usual Buffy language.
SPOILER: All episodes have happened, but major spoilers for "Passion"
DISCLAIMER: Anything that has to do with the Buffyverse in anyway,
belongs to Joss Whedon, WB, etc. Only the story is mine.
SUMMARY: The gang restore Angel's soul, aided by the yellow disk.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know I already wrote a story in which Angel gets his
soul back, but this one is a direct sequel to my other two stories "Moments
of  Truth" and "Unexpected Confrontation" and is in no way related to my
other one. This one takes place immediately afterwards, so if you didn't
read those two, you wil be confused with this one. If you want to read them,
email me privately and I'll send them to you. Oh, and this * represents
thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Later that same night-

 "So did Giles find an orb?" Cordelia questioned.

"No, the only place that used to sell them is closed down," Buffy replied
feeling defeated.

"Slayer," she heard someone call.

The group stopped and looked at each other, she gripped the stake in
her jacket pocket and glanced around. Her gaze fell upon a figure
emerging from the shadows, and she immediately brought the stake up.

"Spike," she hissed. "Out of your wheelchair I see."

"So good of you to have noticed," he sneered.

"What do you want?" she asked coldly.

"I've come to make you a deal."

"Why on earth would I make a deal with you?"

"It involves restoring your precious Angel's soul," Spike smiled
knowingly.

"What do you know about that?" she asked taken back.

"I know you need an Orb of Thesulah, and you can't find one. I also
know that Angelus wouldn't have killed your Watcher's consort if she
wasn't trying to restore his soul."

"What are you saying, exactly?" Xander interrupted.

"What I am proposing," he emphasized. "is, I'll get you the orb, and
you get Angelus out of my hair," Spike bargained.

"Why do you want us to restore Angel's soul? Aren't you happy he
reverted?" Willow asked meekly, afraid of the vampire, but curious
despite heself.

"I was, for about five minutes. But he's really starting to piss me off
now. He saunters in thinking he can take all that is mine! My status,
my forces, my Dru. He thinks he's all high and mighty, and oh, so
special. I hate him, and I want him dead! But then I thought why not
make the loser suffer by being cursed with a soul again. And if helping
the Slayer will help me achieve that, then so be it," he finished.

"It can't be that bad," Buffy commented.

"He's annoying, his games are tiring and old, and all he talks about is
which one of you he's going to kill next, or the Slayer this, the Slayer
that. In the words of a teenager can you say obssesive much?"

At first Buffy seemed amused at Spike's predictment, then she took
a deep breath and looked at her friends for support. They gave her an
'it's your decision, but we'll stand by you no matter what you decide'
look.

"Alright, you get us the orb, and we'll take Angel off your hands. But if
this is some sort of sick joke to help Angelus get to me, so help you
God, I'll kill you, and I'll kill your girlfriend as well. Deal?"

"Deal," Spike replied shaking her hand to seal it. "Meet me in the cemetary
on the far side of the south wall in three hours no one will see us, and I'll
have your orb for you," he informed her.

Bufy nodded her head in agreement. "What if Angel finds out?" she
suddenly realized.

"He won't, as long as any of you don't squel. Besides he hunts near
the Bronze, he likes them young."

Buffy gave him a knowing look, and watched him carefully as he backed
away.

"Oh, and Slayer..."

"What?"

"When this over expect me to come after you. Just like the old days,"
he smirked.

"I can't wait," she  called to his retreating form.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-3 hrs later-

 "I knew Spike was a lying son of a ...."

"Xander, calm down. He's only three minutes late," Willow reminded
 him.

"We'll give him a few more minutes," Buffy informed them while glancing
at her watch.

"So...um, do you guys spend alot of time in this place," Oz asked,
looking around the cemetary nervously.

"Well, Buffy basically spends her life here, Willow and I frequently visit,"
Xander joked.

"Do you really think he is going to come through, I-I...mean he is a
vampire," Willow questioned.

Before Buffy could answer Spike came walking in their direction.

"Oh ye of little faith. I'm hurt that you didn't trust me," Spike smirked,
while bringing his hand to his chest in mock irritation.

"Of course we don't trust you. Hello brain-trust you are a vampire,"
Xander stated.

Spike growled at him, and then laughed when he took a step back
behind Buffy. "Now I know why Angelus has such a yen to kill you boy.
You are annoying."

Spike brought his gaze back to the Slayer.

"Here's your orb Slayer, the rest is up to you." Spike reached into the
pocket of his black trenchcoat, and retrieved a round ball of glass from
it, and handed it to her.

Buffy took the orb from Spike and held it up for inspection. "Is this it,
Willow?" she asked.

"Yeah, this should do it."

"Where did you find one?" Cordelia piped up.

Spike chuckled. "I have my ways."

"Damn vampires are always cryptic. Well, I guess I should thank you,"
 Buffy murmured.

"No need, just get Angelus out of my way, and we'll call it even."

"Alright, I'll hold up my end of the bargain, then expect me to come kill
you," Buffy recited.

"Oh, you just made my night, I can't wait," Spike joked, and retreated
back into the shadows.

Xander, Oz, and Cordelia let out the breaths they were holding during
the exchange, while Buffy and Willow admired the orb.

"It's beautiful," Willow greeted.

"Let's get this to Giles," Buffy ordered. "He's gonna flip when I tell him
where I got it from."

Once again hope welled up within Buffy. Maybe luck will be on her side,
and bring her Angel back to her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Spike made his way back to the factory he saw Drusilla moaning
on the floor, and Angelus trying to comfort her.

"What's going on?" he asked puzzled.

"The Slayer and her watcher are  trying to break up our happy home,"
she whined.

"What?" Spike acted as if he misunderstood.

"The mean watcher is going to restore Angel's soul."

"Not if  I can help it," Angelus declared angrily, and left the factory in a
blur of motion.

"Where were you my Spike?" Drusilla questioned him.

"I went for a bite, love. Don't worry about it, I'm here now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Giles!" Buffy yelled, when she burst into the library with the others
trailing behind her. "Look what I got."

Giles came out of his office looking at her tiredly. "What do you have?"
he asked.

Buffy held up the orb for him to see. "This," she replied in short.

Giles gasped. "The Orb of Thesulah. Wh-where di..did you get it?" he
inquired while taking the orb from her hands and looking it over.

"Spike."

"What!?" he asked in disbelief.

"Spike made a deal with Buffy," Willow began to explain. "If she got
Angelus out of his way, he would get us the orb, and that's what he did."

Giles just shook his head. "A Slayer bargaining with a vampire, it's
 unprecedented."

"Don't worry about that, we have the orb, now what?" Xander interrupted.

"Well...um, we need to cast Angel's soul into it, and then get Angelus
here to transfer it," Giles stated. He took of his glasses and rubbed the
bridge of his nose tiredly.

"I can deal with the Angelus issue, but who's going to perform the
ritual?" Buffy offered.

"I have casted spells before, I'm sure I can handle it," Giles reminded
them.

"When?" Oz queried.

"Tonight, as soon as possible," Giles stated. "He probably found out
already, he did the first time..."

"And he'll come after us," Buffy finished.

Giles nodded his head solemnly.

"So we wait," Willow guessed.

"Yes, but let's get his soul into the orb for now, we must be ready."

"Okay, I'll get the printouts," Willow offered.

"Very good," Giles agreed.

When Willow returned with the  ritual, Giles took the papers from her
and began. He held the orb out  at arms length in front of him, and called
 upon Angel's soul with a few words. The orb began to light up with a
orange and white glow. At first dimly, but it began to glow brighter as
Giles finished the incantation. And as the others looked on in astonish-
ment the orb took on a steady rythm. The glowing pulsed in time with
everyone's heart beat.

"He's in there?" Buffy asked quietly. "Angel's inside this?" she asked
again, as she stared at the orb in fascination.

Giles nodded his head in confirmation.

"Can I hold it?"

"Okay, but be careful," he ordered, while he gently laid it in her hand.
"If it breaks, we're in trouble, not to mention Angel as well."

A gasp elicited from Buffy's mouth as he laid the orb in her hand. A
small feeling of peace came over her, as the warm essence inside the
orb engulfed her. She could feel him.

"I can feel him Giles," she informed him, as tears welled in her eyes.

"I'm sure he can feel you as well," he assured her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

To be continued........

To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command

    subscribe buffyfic-digest

    or

    subscribe buffyfic

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confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually
approve your subscription request, so it may take some time.

Back issues of this digest can be found at:

    ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/

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    http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM

For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Anexsin <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Things We Do For Love (5/5)
Date: 17 Apr 1998 00:15:49 EDT

TITLE:  The Things We Do For Love (5/5)
AUTHOR:  Melinda Frango
EMAIL ADDY:  [e-mail]
DISTRIBUTION:  Please, ask first.
FEEDBACK: Greatly appreciated.
RATING: PG, for the usual Buffy language.
SPOILER: All episodes have happened, but major spoilers for "Passion"
DISCLAIMER: Anything that has to do with the Buffyverse in anyway,
belongs to Joss Whedon, WB, etc. Only the story is mine.
SUMMARY: The gang restore Angel's soul, aided by the yellow disk.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know I already wrote a story in which Angel gets his
soul back, but this one is a direct sequel to my other two stories "Moments
of  Truth" and "Unexpected Confrontation" and is in no way related to my
other one. This one takes place immediately afterwards, so if you didn't
read those two, you wil be confused with this one. If you want to read them,
email me privately and I'll send them to you. Oh, and this * represents
thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angel silently made his way to the grave yard and searched out
a particular headstone. He kneeled down in front of it and placed
 a bouquet of flowers he picked up from a florist on the way at the
base of it. The name Jennifer Calender was etched into the slab
of stone.

"Well, they did it, Jenny. I'm back in my body, and not feeling to
elated about it," he whispered.

"Why not?" a voice asked, as the shimmering image of Ms.
Calendar appeared sitting on top of her tombstone.

He sighed and looked at her. "It hurts inside," he answered shortly.
 "I think I'm going to leave Sunnydale," he stated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hidden behind a tree not far away from Angel and the translucent
image of Ms.Calendar, Buffy and the Slayerettes watched the exchange
with growing interest.

"Look at that," Willow whispered. "It's amazing."

"Why's he talking to her?" Cordelia questioned.

"Shh, I'm trying to listen," Buffy ordered. "He better not even think
 about leaving."

"I won't stop him," Xander muttered.

He shrank back and shut up quickly when he got a glare from Buffy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You know running away won't solve your problems," the apparition
told him.

Angel was now on his feet pacing in front of her.

"I know it won't, but is seems like the best course of action at the
moment. All I keep seeing is flashbacks of the past few weeks.
The fear in their eyes, the hatred...."

"You made a mistake, just like I did," she explained.

"I didn't make a mistake though," he reminded. "I let my emotions
cloud my judgement, and that cost me my soul."

"You didn't know what would happen," she offered.

"I guess, but....."

"Angel, do you really think that if they despised and hated you they
would've returned you to your body?"

When he didn't answer her she continued.

"That's what I thought. You are their friend, you never would've done
 anything that the demon did."

"But it was my hands, my voice, my body, that hurt them, that killed
 you!" he shouted.

"It was just the body, not the soul. The demon manipulated your body
 to cause harm, there was nothing you could do. You know you weren't
in the body with him or you would've put a stop to things long ago,"
Jenny inferred.

"Why can't you accept the fact that we don't hate you?" a new voice
 rang out.

Both Jenny and Angel whirled their heads around to see Buffy, Willow,
Xander, Cordelia, and Oz strolling towards them from one end of the
cemetary and Giles from the other. He was carrying flowers as well,
which clearly indicated that he intended on visiting Jenny's grave, and
was not expecting to see what he saw.

"Hello, Rupert," Jenny greeted smiling.

"Jenny," he whispered.

"What are you doing here?" Angel inquired of Buffy and her friends.
 "I told you I needed to be alone."

"It doesn't look like you're alone, besides it was Xander's idea," Buffy
replied.

"Buffy," Xander hissed, but she ignored him.

"I just needed some advice," he added quietly.

"Well here's some advice from me. Don't you even think about
leaving Sunnydale," she warned, in one of those tones that dared
him to defy her. "I just got you back, and I'll be damned if I lose
you again."

Angel closed his eyes tightly and whispered, "it's not that
easy, Buffy."

"We'll make it that easy," she replied firmly. "I know it wasn't you,
you proved that when you visited us the other day."

Giles and Jenny silently watched as Buffy tried to convince Angel
that the demons transgressions weren't his, until Jenny spoke up
again.

"You know she's right, Angel. You need to move past this. Your
soul won't be taking any more vacations, so...you better get used
to it," she added.

"Your not helping," he informed her.

"Angel, please. We can work through this," Buffy pleaded with him.

He stared at her for a long moment, and then nodded his head.

Buffy gave him one of her beautiful smiles and jumped into his arms
hugging him to her. His arms immediately encircled her out of instinct
and he hugged her back.

Jenny smiled victoriously and hopped off the gravestone. "Well, it
looks like my work here is done," she informed them. She turned
toward Giles and smiled warmly. "Goodbye, Rupert. And thank
you," she whispered before fading out of view.

"Goodbye, Jenny," he whispered in return, then he gently laid the
 flowers at the base of the grave with the rest, and followed the
others out of the cemetary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So how are you feeling?" Buffy questioned Angel, as she sat in
his apartment.

"I guess I'm doing alright," he answered.

"I have something for you," she added, as she handed his journal
back to him.

He took it from her hand and looked back up at her.

"Did you read it?" he asked.

"Every page."

"And..." he prodded gently.

"And, I realized that I loved you even more, if that's possible.
When you came to the library yesterday, it put everything into
perspective," she explained. "I then knew that you were entirely
separate from your body, and it made things a little easier..."

"To kill me," he finished for her.

"No, to kill him. Angel you're not him, and I didn't stop loving
you because some demon ran around in your body and tried to
kill me," she corrected him.

"Buffy, the demon is a part of me, it has been for over two hundred
 years, so when you refer to him I feel like you're referring to me
 as well."

"I understand your viewpoint, but that's not how I feel."

"How do you feel?"

"When you left I-I...felt empty and alone. I cried myself to sleep
almost every night, and I kept asking myself, why?  Why were
you taken from me, and I could never find an answer. Then when
Giles told me that we could bring you back...that emptiness began
 to fill up with hope," she stopped and looked down towards the floor.

"When I came to you yesterday and you started crying because I
couldn't hold you, I felt that same emptiness. I would've given
anything in that moment to hold you again, to tell you how sorry
 I was...to tell you how much I missed you...."

Before Angel could finish his sentence Buffy bore upon him and
covered his lips with her own. Surprise couldn't explain what he
was feeling at the moment, so when she released his lips he just
plain stared at her.

"Wh-what was that for?" he asked, absently touching his lips.

"I wanted to do that for the longest time," she smiled, and sniffled
 back tears. "I missed you so much."

Angel grabbed her around the waist and drew her towards him.
"I missed you too," he whispered into her hair, as he tightened his
arms around her instinctively. She wrapped her arms around his
neck and layed her head against his chest.

"Promise me that you won't leave me again," she pleaded.

"I'll never leave you, Buffy. I'll always be with you."


The End




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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Aurelia Destiny" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: [Buffyfic] New Fanfiction Message Board for all
Date: 17 Apr 1998 05:40:17 PDT

Hi everyone, I briefly posted 2 Chapters of a Buffy story of mine called
'Cloaked in Darkness' then my A:\ stuffed and all my story is on disk so
I couldn't post anymore.  It STILL isn't fixed yet and so I thought I'd
start a Fanfiction Message Board for all those lovers of Fanfiction.

It an 'anything goes' Fanficion Board, so you can post Buffy, Sailor
Moon, American Gotic, labyrinth or just anything you may have written
about some show or movie!

Please visit!

http://www.insidetheweb.com/messageboard/mbs.cgi/mb65933

Love,
Aurelia AKA Princess Destiny

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

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For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: RE: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (7/14)
Date: 17 Apr 1998 15:42:36

Could I please have parts 4,5, and 6. Somehow I never
got them. Thanks.

Betzi



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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: my error
Date: 17 Apr 1998 19:32:11

I'm *very* sorry my message to Sarah Douglas went to
the list. If I had a brain and knew how to use my
mailer properly... sorry everyone, this was *not*
supposed to have happened.

Betzi

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For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: JessTear <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (7/14)
Date: 17 Apr 1998 15:11:57 EDT


would it be possible for me to get parts 1-7... I just got on the list, a=
nd I=0Adon't wanna miss any potentially great stories.... thanks

^-^ Jess ^-^
potential Keeper of a few things
"=86o become a \/ampire, =86hey have =86o suck your blood...
=86hen you have =86o suck =86heirs. I=86's like a whole big sucking =86hi=
ng"=0A


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For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (7/13)
Date: 17 Apr 1998 16:24:52 EDT

Lost & Found 6

Title: Lost & Found (6/?)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = violence and graphic descriptions (no sex)
Summary: Series after Vengeance - Buffy, Xander, Willow & Giles are all
vampires.  Drusilla is making Buffy pay for supposedly killing Spike.
Previous Stories: If you like this story but don't understand it, it's
probally
because you haven't read Vengeance. That came before this one and this
is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html
Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask.
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe)
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the
more writting I do!  I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I
just
want to know.

This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally
a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions
and some people may be upset by the story. There is a PG-13 rating on
this story however, there is no sex or sexual situations. Just some Buffy
like language and violence. This story will go on for a while, or until I come
up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong
to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc.

************
    "Are we where I think we are?" Angel's voice quivered with fear.
    "Yeah...we are," Spike said softly.  Spike struggled with his
chains, trying to break free.
    "That's good Spike. You keep doing that."
    "You got any better ideas?" Spike yelled in a deep voice. He
couldn't forget the look in her eyes. The pain. The anger.  Spike
let out a cry of pain as he gave up at his attempts.
    "What were you doing with Buffy?"
    Spike turned his head to face Angel but refused to answer.
Nothing but silence for what seemed like an eternity. Spike turned
his head away from Angel and sighed.  "I was trying to get Dru back."
    "By doing what? Pretending to be dead?"
    "I left to find a cure.  Buffy was trying to help me restore
your soul so that I could have Dru and she could have you."
    "That Buffy never did give up on me." Angel chuckled but
then stopped because of the pain it caused him.
    "If it wasn't for Dru trying to teach her a lesson, things
would have worked out just fine," Spike said as he dropped his head
again.  Thoughts of Drusilla flooded his mind. Her hair, her smile,
everything about her. She was all he wanted, and he was willing to
do anything to have her.
    The door swung open and Willow walked in carrying two goblets
filled with blood.
    "Drink. You two need your strength."  She pressed a glass to
Spike's lips and finished it off in seconds.  Willow did the same for
Angel and he drank it quickly as well. They both were painfully
exhausted from their fight and desperately needed nourishment.  Willow
took the empty glasses and left laughing under her breath.  Again,
silence filled the room for a brief moment.
    "I've got nothing but bad memories from this place," Spike
said as he searched the room for an escape.
    "Funny, I've got nothing but good memories from here.
Especially with Dru." A smile came over Angel's face for he always
enjoyed messing with Spike's head.
    "You son of a bitch!" Spike could feel life coming into his
body with every word of anger he spoke.  "Dru is mine. She will never
be yours."  Spike couldn't hold back anymore. He had so much rage
inside of him.
    "We'll see about that once your out of the picture."
    "What? You think you can kill me?"
    "Yes, I know I can."
    "If I weren't chained up right now, I'd beat you into a bloody
pulp."  Spike's voice grew deeper as he let his demonic face show.
    "Oh yeah, you mean like earlier tonight?" Angel was enjoying
himself a bit too much.
    "If I remember correctly, it was your girlfriend who ruined it
for the both of us." Spike slammed his body against the wall out of
frustration.  "Buffy, she is going to pay for this one."

End Part 7

SEND FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

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For help, contact Jill Kirby ([e-mail]) or sah ([e-mail])



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (8/13)
Date: 17 Apr 1998 16:36:18 EDT

Lost & Found 8

Title: Lost & Found (8/13)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = violence and graphic descriptions (no sex)
Summary: Series after Vengeance - Buffy, Xander, Willow & Giles are all
vampires.  Drusilla is making Buffy pay for supposedly killing Spike.
Previous Stories: If you like this story but don't understand it, it's
probally
because you haven't read Vengeance. That came before this one and this
is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html
Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask.
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe)
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the
more writting I do!  I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I
just
want to know.

This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally
a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions
and some people may be upset by the story. There is a PG-13 rating on
this story however, there is no sex or sexual situations. Just some Buffy
like language and violence. This story will go on for a while, or until I come
up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong
to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc.

************

    She found herself standing outside the large villa thinking,
waiting. Buffy refused to move for fear of what lurk inside the large
building.
She had heard rumors of that place but Drusilla never let her go there.
That was one thing Buffy was thankful for. 'I really should let Drusilla
have her way with them.  But that wouldn't be any fun for me.'
    "Ahh!" Buffy startled herself with her own words. "Oh well, I've
been meaning to have a little chat with Drusilla anyway."  Buffy sensed
the warmth of the sun coming over the horizon.  "Oh no!"
She was so preoccupied with finding Dru that she didn't even bother
to notice the time. Buffy found her way to a small house where she took
refuge in the attic.  Boxes filled the low roofed room. Buffy found a
blanket in one of them and spread it on the floor hidden from the sun.
So many thoughts, so much confusion. Her memories of her time as the
slayer constantly plagued her evil mind.
    "Don't. Let me go. I'll run away and you'll never see me again." Buffy
sensed fear in his voice for the first time ever.
    "You don't deserve to live." Buffy cautiously held the spike
in her hands pointing it direct at his heart.
    "Maybe your right. But if you kill me, you'll never get Angel
back.  I have a cure."
    After a few moments of consideration Buffy plunged the spike
into his stomach.  He screamed out in pain.  Buffy got off of him as
he lay on his back groaning.
    "I'll bring Angel to you. Meet me in Vienna."  She left the
room with a smile.
    Spike remained on the floor, not dead, but in extreme pain. He
knew the spike couldn't kill him, but the pain was more than enough to
make him wish it could.  Placing his hands on the spike, he lifted it
out of his gut. Spike curled into a ball hoping the pain would just go
away.

*****

    "Don't, please don't!" Xander stood between Drusilla and Willow
pleading for their lives.
    "Okay. I won't," Drusilla said as she grabbed Xander by the
throat.  "To her."  She pulled him in closer, keeping a tight hold on him.
Her lips danced across his neck as he closed his eyes, knowing what was
to come. She sunk her teeth into his neck and in seconds his life began to
fade away. His feeble body fell to the ground. Willow watched from behind
a large rock, horrified. Her screams fill the quiet night.
    "Oh, shut-up," Drusilla said as she indicated for two vampires to take
her away.
    "Dru, leave her alone!" A dark figure approached Drusilla from behind
with a stake in her hand.
    "Buffy! So glad you could make it." Drusilla turned to face her accouter
with a overly large grin on her face. "Oh, but your late for the party."
    Buffy looked down and saw Xander's body lying on the cold ground.
Fear ignited the fire in her heart as she lunged at Drusilla. A hand was
raised that struck Buffy directly in the face sending her flying backward
into the field. "Don't do that. You'll get hurt you know."  Buffy rose feeling
the blood flow down her face.  Drusilla raised her hand again, throwing a
knife out at Buffy's leg, cutting a deep wound into it. Buffy dropped to the
ground and pulled the knife out.
    Drusilla walked towards Buffy eagerly awaiting their fight. "Get up. I'm
not done with you yet!"  Buffy got to her feet limping on the leg that was
wounded.  "That looks bad," Drusilla said as she shot out her left hand and
scratched Buffy's across the face.  She had no more strength but kept
going.  Buffy got in a few punches to Drusilla's face but she was hardly
phased by any of them.  Drusilla took a final hit to Buffy's stomach and
she collapsed to the ground.  She lay silently on the ground as Drusilla
stood above her.
    "Looks like she's done," Drusilla said looking back at some of the
other vampires.  Suddenly, Buffy threw her feet up into the air, connecting
solidly with Drusilla's chin.  She scrambled to her feet and ran off into to
the wooded area that surrounded them.
    "Why do they always run? Like I'm really not going to catch up with
them?" Drusilla followed after Buffy into the woods.
    Branches tried to block her way, scratching her body and face as she
went.  For the first time in her life, she was running from trouble instead of
to stop it.
Buffy looked back to find Drusilla but couldn't. She kept running as fast as
she could, hoping to make it to the street.

    Buffy awoke with a start. The sun was beginning to go down and it
was almost time for her to face Drusilla again.  Buffy shook herself out of
her thoughts to focus on what she had to do. She had to fight Drusilla to
the death.

End Part 8
SEND FEEDBACK (yes, I'm yelling, sorry, but I need encouragement.)

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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: sah <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: ADMIN:  List rules
Date: 17 Apr 1998 17:36:51 -0400 (EDT)

Welcome!  This list is for fiction related to "Buffy The Vampire
Slayer," both the TV series and the movie.  To ensure that we all get
to enjoy as much fiction as possible, please adhere to the following
guidelines, and please save them for future reference.

1. Fiction should have Buffy characters in it and clearly be related
to Buffy.  Crossovers are great, and expected, but general
vampire/monster stories that aren't in the Buffy universe and don't
use Buffy characters belong somewhere else.

2. Discussion of posted fiction is permitted onlist.  Please put
"DISCUSS" in your subject line.  Requests for missing story parts
should go directly to the author, and not be posted to the list.

Discussion that is not related directly to the fiction should go over
to the general Buffy list.  Discussion of fiction is expected to
follow common netiquette guidelines and use PG-13 language.

3. No advertising of <any> items or services, Buffy related or not,
and no posting of non-story items such as .gifs, sound files, etc..
No attached files of <any> kind-- if your mailer makes your fiction
into attached files, you need to find another way to get it to the list.

4. If you're writing a story and including advance information on a
new episode, and you're posting your story earlier than the national
viewing time, please:

     **Mark the post as a "spoiler" in the subject header.
     **Leave about twelve lines (blank or with non-spoiler info) at
          the top of the post.

This ensures that anyone who doesn't like knowing about an episode
ahead of time is "protected."  :)   The blank space is for people whose
mailers automatically open up the next piece of mail, without giving
them a chance to see "spoiler" in the header.

Spoiler warnings are not necessary after the start of the episode's
national viewing time, which is currently set at 9 p.m. Mondays,
Eastern Standard Time.  Spoiler warnings are not necessary for reruns.

5.  This list is absolutely NOT for erotic fiction.  <Nothing> stronger
than sexually PG-13 material is to be posted to the list under any
circumstances.  A story may be R rated for violence or language, however.

If you have a question about something's suitability for posting, feel
free to ask one of the listowners.  Sending sexually explicit material
will get you immediately and permanently unsubscribed.  No exceptions.

6.  By subscribing and/or posting to this list, you acknowledge that
Buffy the Vampire slayer and all characters associated with either
the televised series or the motion picture were created by Josh Whedon
and are owned by Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.  All stories posted to
this list are for entertainment purposes only, are not sold for profit
of any kind, and are not intended to infringe on any copyrights.

7.  When posting stories to the list, please follow the following
formatting guidelines
--No story parts longer than 250 lines
--No lines longer than 75 characters
--Turn off your "smart quotes"-- many readers receive these as garbage
or weird symbols
--Put the title of the story in the subject header, indicate if it's a
multipart story, and if so what part this is.  Example:   Buffy Meets
Godzilla (2/65) indicates that this post is part two of a 65 part story.

8. If a story is rated "R" for language/violence, indicate this in an
introduction.  For example, "There's a really bloody fight scene at
the end of this part" or "if you don't like dismemberment, stop
reading now!"  If there's <any> chance that someone might be disturbed
by something in your story (even if it's not rated R) please include
some kind of warning up front.

9.  And last, but not least, the listowners reserve the right to deny
subscription (new, renewed, or continued) to the list for any
individual(s).

PLEASE NOTE:  not following any or all of these rules will get you
the following:

**First offense:  offender is unsubscribed for one week.
**Second offense:  offender is unsubscribed to the Buffyfic list for a
minimum of three months.
**If the offender returns and does it again, they're offlist
permanently.

As noted above, posting sexually explicit material is the exception --
you go straight to permanent unsubbing.

Again, welcome!  If  you have any questions about these rules, please
contact either one of us offlist.  If you have subscription problems or
questions, the fastest way to get help is to e-mail one of us at the
addresses below, <not> at the [e-mail] addy which is the
"official" e-mail owner of the list.

Jill Kirby ([e-mail])
 &
sah ([e-mail])
Listowners, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fiction List
[e-mail]
--
sah * [e-mail] * [e-mail]
NatPack * BotCoS * Jungle Patrol * BBPGrrl:TGLIL * Bishop * BTVS Listowner
Nat's B&B:    http://free.prohosting.com/~romana/natpack/html
My homepage:  http://free.prohosting.com/~romana/index.html
"In front of me, facing me and the bank of journalists, was the Senate
Judiciary Committee:  Fourteen white men in dark grey suits."  Anita Hill



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (part 1)
Date: 17 Apr 1998 17:59:42 -0700

Well's here's my very first Buffy fic... I hope you all like it! I'd
love feedback.. there are some evil scenes.. most are towards the
begining and towards the end. I'm not sure how many parts there will be
yet though.. Sorry :(
    Anyways, here goes :)




    Takes place after Lie To Me,  I don't own Buffy an CO. you know that
silly!
            The Lyrics are by Garbage and are inside of  ~ tildes ~  I
don't own any of Garbage's much or nothing either (you know that too!)
    No copyright infringement is intended

****

A Stroke of Luck (part 1)

      She walked around the side of the large tree glad to see a man
sitting down reading a book, a smile crossed her lips as she swayed
there in the wind.    "What are you reading?"
    The man clearly startled nearly jumped out of his skin.
    Drusilla cocked her head to the side,  curiously.
    "umm.. it's uhh... uhh..." the man stuttered.
    Dru frowned. "hmm?"
    "Buffy?-- " Giles began to speak again, but was interrupted...
    "My tummy's growly." Dru pouted "An' he's left me all alone... Come an'
play"
      She asked playfully. Such a dangerous demon, in such a young
mind...
    Her head flickered with visions. Seeing the slayer, Spike, a Stake and
then a girl--.  Dru whimpered, unable to follow it. And grasped the side
of her head when blackness filled her mind, And a picture of a girl all
in red came clearly into view.
    When she finally broke out of her revere she was face to face with one
teenage slayer. Dru smiled coyly. " 'ave you come out to play?" she
asked hopefully. "Do you like tea?"
    Buffy grasped the stake in her hand tight, "You shouldn't be here"
Buffy began, giving Dru her chance.  "Where's Spike"
    Drusilla whimpered like a small puppy and bent forward, as though in
pain. "He's gone all away, in my head, to her..." She cried.
    Buffy didn't seem amused. But none-the-less was worried. She wasn't
sure what Drusilla was saying but she did know Spike would never leave
her alone. Especially with a slayer around.
    When Dru looked up her face wrenched, and twisted...
    Buffy clenched her stake

    Spike rounded the corner to the park, totally lost in his thoughts. In
fact, only when Dru cried out did he notice her. She was standing there
looking in his direction, but it seemed very obvious to him, she saw
no-one there. There was a blonde girl in front of her. Spike begged for
a brief minute that it wasn't the slayer...
    "Spike!" Dru called out giddy to see that he had come for her.
    The girl turned around... Buffy turned around, Spike cursed his luck.
    He walked slowly towards them. The last thing Spike needed  was to
startle the slayer when she was so close to Drusilla.

    Buffy groaned inwardly hating this situation just as much as Spike did.

    "Spike!" Dru yelled again, when he didn't say anything, and she began
to guess  something wrong. She started to go to him, when she felt the
end of a stake near her chest. She hissed at Buffy, the stake making her
ill at ease - flashes of darkness again flooded her mind...

    Buffy never even knew, Drusilla hissed threateningly, her face all
distorted.. How was Buffy to know she meant no harm? She plunged the
stake into Drusilla, seeing her as a threat. And stepped outta the way
    "Spike?" Dru asked meekly

    Spike heart collapsed and shattered into a million pieces. Dru began to
fall, he ran to her as fast as he could. And when he was to catch her in
his arms and hold her, to long for the stake to disappear. She
shattered. Her whole life,  just like his heart, was nothing more than
dust...




((SORRY DRU FANS! REALLY I AM!))


--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (part 3)
Date: 17 Apr 1998 18:01:24 -0700

For disclaimers see part 1

A Stroke of Luck (part 3)

~ Did you know I was lost until you found me? ~

      Willow had begun walking home around 11:00...which in all
fairness, *was* a bad time to be out alone at night, especially in
Sunnydale. But Buffy and Giles had went off hunting, and Xander had gone
home long before. She had  stayed, to help research until it had gotten
late, and she had gotten tired...
    It was really getting cold Willow thought as she wrapped her arms
around her waist and continued on her way...she heard a snap. Like a
twig.
    She turned around with so fast she felt all dizzy. Stake in hand, she
looked closely in the darkness, searching for movement of any kind. But
of course.... there was nothing there... She continued to peer into the
night until she was positive that she was the only one around. Willow
smile and  turned round again - walking right into Spikes arms.
    He very easily knocked the stake right out of her hands, and grabbed
her, not
violently so, he was done with violence for the night. Nevertheless
Spike, was *not* in the mood to pass up a chance to hurt Buffy.
    Willow immediately began to kick squirm and punch as hard as she could
to get free, What else would any sane person do, when thrust into the
hands of their enemy?
    But, it was no use. Spikes grasp on her was stronger than steel....

    He waited patiently for her to give up, terribly annoyed at the
intensity she had, wishing she'd just relax.

      Which of course she did, after a while at least. Nearly falling
hopelessly to the ground, ever the gentleman Spike caught her pulling on
her waist and got her standing again.
      Panting, sighing, and seriously scared, Willow looked up into the
eyes of her enemy.
    It wasn't what she had been expecting...

~ A stroke of luck or a gift from God? ~

    He looked so incredibly sad, Spike! She thought in her head! Spike
looks, sad?
    She began to wonder, what could make such an evil villain so said.

~ The hand of fate or devil's claws? ~

    Spike saw the emotion in her eyes, it wasn't hard to miss, it must have
reflected off his own, gee, guess she'd been left outta the news loop.
The affection in her eyes sickened him.. Spike twisted his face  to that
of a demons and snarled at her, so close, there noses almost touching.
    Willow fainted

    Spike rolled his eyes, and picked up her feet to carry her. He hadn't
really meant to scare her that badly. He'd just as soon have her crying.
But this would be easier he supposed. Wouldn't have to listen to her beg
for her life...Though  sometimes, that's the best part...
    He sighed, what was he gonna do with the little slayers friend now?


--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (part 2)
Date: 17 Apr 1998 18:00:51 -0700

For disclaimers see part 1

A Stroke of Luck (part 2)

~ Hanging by threads of palest silver ~
~ I could have stayed that way forever ~

      It was like a dream... Freeze frame in time, looking into
Drusilla's face...
      And when he got up, she was there... not Dru of course. But the
source of all this pain.
      Buffy found herself backing away slightly, the intense look in his
eyes made her shiver.
      He jumped right in front of her, and succeeded in striking her
straight across the face, sending Buffy staggering back, she hadn't even
realized how close he was. When he went to attack her again though,
she'd been ready, catching his hand in mid air, and nearly flipping him
over. The fight continued for some time, when Buffy finally found
herself panting for breathe.
      Spike's resistance wore thin and his game of aggression soon left
him one beat up Spike and exhausted slayer. It grew dull now. Grabbing
*the* stake off the ground, he wondered if maybe the slayer could turn
to dust like his love...
    With a low growl, deep in his throat he attacked her again, managing to
kicked her off guard, and landing hard with a loud thud, she went to
stand up again, but with a foot on her chest Spike shoved her back down.
    He stood over her, wishing her a happy death, when Giles tackled him
down the ground.
    "Now this" Spike stood over the Liberian "Is becoming an annoying
coincidence"
    Buffy got up to attack him but it was too late as Spike shoved the
stake into the watchers chest

~ Bad blood and ghosts wrapped tight around me ~
~ Nothing could ever seem to touch me ~

    Spike looked down at the look on the slayers face. He found her
distraught very satisfying.
      Buffy looked up, her eyes threatening to tear him to shreds. With
a smile he began to walk away.
Though he listened to her behind him, crying over the watchers dying
body. Telling him it would be alright.
    He wanted to go back... He wanted to kill her...
    But he was so tired. The night's events had worn him out, and he knew
that she felt the same...
      So he kept walking, his head so full of many things, things he'd
learned, things he'd dreamed, things he'd felt, things he hadn't...

~ I lose what I love most ~

      His thoughts went to Angelus... He should tell him... No, Angelus
would find out, the slayer would tell him, she would run to him, and
cry...  Would he care the Drusilla was gone? Would he morn her lose? Or
cheer? Would he fear for his new lovers life? Or for the Dying watcher?
     He found that he hardly cared....



--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Broken Bonds (Part 2)
Date: 18 Apr 1998 12:15:55 -0400

Title:       Broken Bonds (Part 2)
Author:      Northlight
e-mail:      [e-mail]
Summary:     Giles dissapears and bad things start to happen.
Note:        Thanks to all who helped.
Disclaimer:  They aren't mine.



    Buffy twisted around under her tangled sheets, her sweat slicked face
terrified.  She was dreaming, and a Slayer's dreams were rarely
pleasant.  Tonight was no exception.

    Fire consumed her mind, reaching out towards Willow, Xander and Angel
as they cried out for her to save them.  The scene shifted, as vampires
surged forward, moving towards her in an unstoppable force 'so many of
them...'.  The fire flared, burning brighter only to die away leaving
Buffy looking into the empty eyes of her Watcher's broken, lifeless
body.  And still it continued, the fire raging through her mind leaving
a trail of death and destruction that Buffy found herself powerless to
prevent.

    Finally, mercifully, Buffy woke, a scream catching in her throat.  'Oh
man that was definitely not pleasant,' Buffy thought as she wearily
crawled out of her bed, her stomach roiling in nausea at the dream
images burned into her mind.

    She moved towards the window on trembling legs, her shaking hand
resting on the cool glass as she peered out into the night.  'I don't
know what's happening, but something's wrong.  Very wrong.'  Buffy
shuddered slightly, her lips pulling into a humourless smile.  'Talk
about an understatement.  I think that I'd better talk to Giles about
this one.  He'd probably have a fit if he ever found out that I didn't
tell him about this'.

    The thought of sharing some of her worry with her Watcher calmed some
of Buffy's fear.  She was still uneasy, still wary, but no longer
terrified.  It was a childish thought, but it soothed her nonetheless.
'Giles will take care of everything.'

**************

    The next morning, the moment Buffy arrived at school she automatically
headed for the library in search for Giles.  Since she had reached the
decision to tell him of her dreams, Buffy was eager to do so.  She
wanted him to listen to her worries and tell her that her dreams weren't
of an unalterable future.  She could tell herself that of course, but it
would just sound better coming from someone who sounded as if they meant
it.

    She reached the library and pushed at the doors.  They didn't budge.
'What the--?!  Locked?'  Buffy glared at the door suspiciously.  Giles
never locked the door.  In fact, she hadn't even known that they did
lock.

    "Giles?" Buffy called out, peering through the door windows.  "Giles?
It's Buffy... Buffy Summers," she elaborated in case anyone should
happen to see her pounding at the closed library doors 'as if that would
ever happen.'  "C'mon Giles, open up!" Buffy cried out again.

    She was worried.  Strange enough that the door wasn't opening, and now
Giles wasn't answering her call.  Buffy was seriously tempted to use her
Slayer's strength to force the door open.  'This isn't right!'

    Buffy was about to start of fresh volley of pounding when the door
swung open.  She aborted the striking movement of her hand and stared up
at the man at the door in shock.

    The man was shorter than Giles, and husky.  He had thick black hair and
a close cropped beard.  His eyes were dark and unreadable, and that made
Buffy want to step back in unease.  It wasn't Giles.  That in itself was
enough to make wariness flash through Buffy.  The library was Giles',
nobody else's.

    "Where's Giles?" Buffy demanded, her voice unintentionally
threatening.  Realizing that her tone wasn't exactly friendly, or
appropriate, she consciously moderated it.  "I need to speak to him."

    The man blinked slowly, surveying her with considering eyes.  "Come
in," he said, moving from the door and gesturing for her to enter.

    Buffy followed him in, her highly honed Slayer's instincts screaming at
her.  The man who had moved in on Giles' territory moved towards the
desk, where Buffy and her friends had spent so many hours pouring
through Giles' beloved books, and motioned for her to sit.  Buffy
remained standing.

    It felt strange, seeing someone else in Giles' library.  The room with
all its books was so much a part of her Watcher that being in here with
someone else almost felt like an invasion of privacy.  'This isn't
right.'

    "Buffy Summers?" the man asked.

    Buffy ignored his question.  "Who are you?  Where's Giles?"

    The man looked at her with cold eyes, annoyed that she had ignored
him.  But he answered her nonetheless. "My name in Nathaniel Tyler,
Buffy.  I am the new librarian... and your new Watcher."

                    End Part 2



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A stroke of Luck (part 4)
Date: 18 Apr 1998 11:29:02 -0700

For disclaimers see part 1

A Stroke of Luck (part 4)


For disclaimers see part 1


    When Willow awoke she was chained to a wall. Looking around at her
surroundings, she couldn't help but roll her eyes. The walls were made
of dark brick, the only light was made by a large candle in the corner.
It reminded her of the classic vampire horror, the very cheesy kind...
      Willow sighed, the tip if her toes barely touched the ground, the
chains were up so high. Head pounding, she tried to move her  aching
muscles, with not much luck.
      She couldn't believe it! Had she really been captured by Spike? Or
was it all a delusion? It couldn't get worse... she had to look for a
way out....

~~~

    Spike laid on the bed, her bed. His mind soared  all over the place.
From Drusilla, to Angelus. He thought of the Slayer, and remembered the
last moment he had shared with Drusilla, right before she's shattered.
He remembered the last day, he had shared with Drusilla... Every last
stupid detail seemed so important.. He thought about Prague...  When he
thought he might actually lose his Dru...
    It seems terribly unreal. And every now and again, he'd feel that Dru
would come through the door, wanting to play, wanting to dance, wanting
to cuddle, anything...
    Spike could feel the sun begin to rise, and remembered he hadn't drawn
the curtains in the room...
    He actually thought for a minute about this, if he should bother to get
up.. to shut away the light... but as the suns rays came approaching, he
began to feel ill at ease. Getting up he shut out the sun.
      He would make her pay. He promised himself, and he promised Dru,
she wouldn't get away with this....

~~~

    Willows eyes jerked open as the candle went out. She cursed her luck,
defiantly not wanting to be chained up in the dark!
She groaned in pain suddenly, having no idea how long she had been down
here, and her arms felt like they were seriously gonna fall off, she
felt feint, from lack of food. and some sun wouldn't hurt either.
    She began to wonder where Spike and Drusilla were. Had they just left
her down here to die?
    She shuddered at the thought, and began to fell dizzy again.
    She closed her eyes, with the pretense of resting them. But soon found
herself in the only safe place she could think up at the moment. Her
dreams...



--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Janine Sebastian <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Mission" (1/?)
Date: 18 Apr 1998 11:07:24 -0700 (PDT)


TITLE: The Mission (1/?)
AUTHOR: Jeanie the Tortoise-Fly [Janine Sebastian]
E-MAIL: <[e-mail]>
DISTRIBUTION: Ask and ye shall receive.
SPOILERS: none really except a mention of Angelus so I guess it's
after "Innocence", probably sometime after "Passion."
DISCLAIMER: Willow and Xander etc. don't belong to me, actually none
of the characters do. They're either from the show, and therefore
belong to Joss and WB etc. or they are actual people who belong only
to themselves.  If this is being posted it means that Anya, Robyn, and
Windrider have read this and have given me permission to mention them.
 If they don't give me permission, this won't be posted until it's
changed...{what a novel thought!}  When I'm done, I promise that all
of the characters will be returned in one piece...even Windrider.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Well, I was avoiding studying for finals [yes again],
and I was quite shocked to see the mayhem that had occurred during my
four day absence from the posting board, and I was thinking about the
coming summer, so I wrote this.  This is far form serious or typical
of a buffyfic...Buffy isn't even in it...yet.  It brings to light a
real issue in real life...i.e. My dad is stalling and avoiding getting
our house connected to the net.  Enjoy...or don't...it's up to you.
Feedback is muchly appreciated, and I will use any flame mail to warm
up my room [the floor is 1ft underground, and surrounded by cement, so
it's cold in here.]

****************
         Jeanie stood in front of a large suburban house, and glanced
back at the crumpled piece of paper in her hand.  Yes this was the
right address...  It had taken a crate of Macaroons and a vast amount
of Rye and Coke to get the address from Anya, even after explaining
how important it was that she contact this person.  Anya of course,
had mentioned SOFA and FAA a few times, but eventually she realized
how important this was to Jeanie, and Anya was very protective and
understanding of the members of her animal heirarchy.  It had taken
many references to the Sprite and Oreo factories she had already given
Robyn the Snowshoe Hare, and a written and signed promise not to kill
Windrider unless he became soulless, to convince Robyn to lend Jeanie
her Sliders-like gateway to the Hellmouth.  Making sure she arrived
during daylight hours, Jeanie had landed in Sunnydale with only her
mission in mind.

         Jeanie took a deep breath, walked up to the house, rang the
bell and muttered "God I hope this works."

         A sixteen year old redhead cautiously answered the door. [In
Sunnydale, even in daylight, you never knew who was going to appear on
your doorstep.]

        "Hello, how can I help you?"

        "Hi.  Willow?" Jeanie asked careful not to sound too desperate
right away.

        "I would be she.  And you are?"

        "Um, my name's Janine.  Janine Sebastian.  But you probably
know me as Jeanie?"

        "Jeanie...?"

        Afraid of the reaction she knew she was about to get, Jeanie
took a step backwards before answering.

        "...Jeanie the Tortoise-Fly."

        The expression on Willows face went from caution, to
confusion, to sudden recognition, and then to pure anger.

        "*You*!!  ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!  You're one of *them* aren't
you?!?!  You're the one that started the Kendra thread on the posting
board.  The one that had so many posts it scrolled right off the
screen!  Do you know the HELL that I went through trying to calm Spike
and Angelus down after that?!?!  Not to mention Buffy..."  Willow had
to pause to take a breath.  Jeanie took this as an opportunity to
interrupt the young hacker's outburst.

        "Um, Willow?  Yes, I admit I started that thread, and I
contributed to the vast black hole as you scroll down the screen, and
I'm really sorry, but I did try to realign the thread by restarting it
a few times...And Robyn and I tried to take it to e-mail to avoid
making the hole worse...Besides I *really* need your help,"  Jeanie
begged.

         "My help?!?  After all you've put me through, you ask for my
help?  Come to think of it, how'd you know where I lived?"

          Jeanie could see that Willow was less than impressed, and
that more bribes and written statements were  probably going to be
needed to get her mission accomplished.

          "Actually Anya gave me your address."

          "Anya, as in web-goddess Anya?  Why would she tell *you*
were I lived?" Willow was clearly not impressed.

          "What?  Do you think She'd give me your address if it wasn't
*really* important? ...Ohh, that reminds me, I brought you
something..."  Reluctantly, Jeanie handed the box of Mr. Christie's
Arrowroot Biscuits that she was carrying, over to Willow.  "I didn't
even have *one.*"

           Willow looked at Jeanie and thought <<strange girl...>>
But then she remembered the talk of Jeanie's obsession with Arrowroot
cookies, and realized that if Jeanie had displayed enough self-control
to be able to give her a whole, untouched box of Arrowroots, she must
be *very* desperate.

           "What's wrong?  Did something happen to Anya?  To the site?
 What is it?"

           "Anya's fine, so's the site.  It's just that the school
term ends next week and once it's over I don't know how I'm going to
access my e-mail...or the archive...or most importantly the posting
board..."  Jeanie was making every effort not to burst into tears in
front of her new acquaintance.  "And we don't have net access at home,
'cause my dad is taking forever hooking us up...and I don't know what
I'm going to do."

           Willow took this all in and wondered how *she* could get by
without computer access.  Not that she was addicted to the fanfic
site...she was the only one of her friends who hadn't gone completely
AWOL every time something went wrong with the site...But she realized
that even she wouldn't be able to handle four months without net access.

           "What do you want *me* to do?" She asked hesitantly.

           "Well... I thought that maybe you
could...kinda...perhaps..."  The glare in Willow's eyes made Jeanie
get to the point in a hurry.  "I want you to come back with me and
teach my dad how easy it is to get a household connected.  He's been
stalling for months, and if someone experienced with computers were to
come and show him how to do it...well then he wouldn't have any excuse
not to."

            Willow Stood there thinking about it for a minute until
she finally gave in.

            "All right.  But on one condition..."

            "*Anything* you name it."

            "I want you to promise to make a valid effort not to let
your threads on the posting board scroll off of the screen."

            "I...I promise."
***************
           "Where're you goin'?"  came a male voice from the end of
the driveway.  Xander Harris had been on his way over to Willow's when
he noticed the girl with long brown hair and blue eyes talking to his
friend.  Never one to respect privacy, Xander had decided to come
right up to the two girls who were just leaving Willow's yard.


            "Going?...We're not going anywhere.  Were we going
somewhere, Jeanie?..." Willow attempted to cover.  Jeanie had
described the Sliders-like gate to her and for once, Willow really
didn't want Xander to tag along.  Unfortunately  Jeanie didn't realize
this so she invited Xander to join them.

            "Actually we were planning on going to my house.  Wanna
come?"

             Xander's interest was immediately caught.  "Come?  Me?
Of course I wanna come.  Um, where exactly is your place?"

             "Well...I live in Surrey."

             "Surrey?  Where's that?"  Xander was expecting Jeanie to
say she lived nearby, not in some place he hadn't even heard of.

             "It's in British Colombia isn't it?"  Asked Willow.

             "British Colombia?  Where's *that*?"  Xander was
obviously confused.

             "It's in Canada you twit.  Really Xander...Sometimes I
wonder about you..."

             Just then Jeanie instinctively checked the timer for the
gate and pointed out to the two friends that it was going to open in
about twenty seconds.  They stopped bickering long enough to jump
through the gate which took them to Jeanie's neighbourhood.  The gate
had been set to deposit them in Jeanie's back yard but somehow the
location must have been set wrong because they didn't land in the
middle of the yard.  Willow landed in Jeanie's mom's row of
strawberries, Jeanie landed on the roof of her old tree fort, and
Xander landed with a graceless thud,  in the compost heap.

            "Robyn!  We're going to have a long talk about this!"
Jeanie fumed.

            Fortunately the strawberries weren't ripe yet, so Willow
didn't stain her clothes.  Jeanie carefully climbed off the roof of
the fort, onto the porch and then down to solid ground.  She was lucky
she hadn't landed two feet to her left, she had just missed the huge
blackberry patch, which had major thornage all year round.  Xander was
the least fortunate of the three of them, the compost was rather
dirty.  Just before he sat up, he noticed Newton, the Sebastian's
resident newt, crawling towards him.

            "Cool.  Hi little guy...wait a minute...I'm talking to a
miniture geko..."  Xander shook his head, removed the banana peel from
his left arm, and stood up.  He then turned his attention to brushing
off the remnants of the Sebastian's breakfast...an orange peel here,
some coffee grinds there...

             "Everyone okay?  Xander, you've got an eggshell on your
back...  Willow, you need help up?"  After everyone was safely inside
the house, Jeanie took Willow and Xander upstairs to meet her dad.
Only her dad wasn't there.  Jeanie let out an exasperated
"Arrrrggghhh!"  Of course her mom chose that exact moment to come onto
the room.

              "Hi Neen.  Who are your friends here?"

              "Ohh, hi mom.  This is Willow...and this is Xander.
Guys this is my mom, you can call her Ruth, all my friends do.  Uh,
mom? Where's dad?"
*****************
...To be continued?...
Feedback?  [I know it's bad, but I experienced a momentary writing
inspiration.  Sorry, 'bout that.  I'll try to do better next time...if
there is a next time...:-)]
*****************
BENNY: I can't believe these people. We paid money to see this.
PIKE: No, we didn't.
BENNY: Oh, yeah. But I still want to know what happens.
BUFFY: Everyone gets horribly killed except the blonde girl in the
nightie, who finally kills the monster with a machete but it's not
really dead.
JENNIFER: Oh, my God. Is that true?
BUFFY: Probably. What movie is this?
-- Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the Movie
_________________________________________________________
DO YOU YAHOO!?
Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:The Watcher (5/?)
Date: 18 Apr 1998 16:16:16 EDT

The Watcher (5/?)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: The Watcher
AUTHOR: Jaclyn [e-mail]
RATING: PG/PG-13
SUMMARY: This takes place four years later while the Buffy gang is attending
Montague University near Sunnydale. AngelÆs soul has been permanently
restored, and he is 100% human. Jenny Calendar is still alive. Buffy will be
getting a new Watcher.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the
Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century
Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. No infringement intended.
FEEDBACK: Please be nice; IÆm still a newbie.


"Willow, wait!" Buffy screamed. She quickly grabbed her robe and ran after
her. //Oh, God, how could this have happened? I mean, Willow is my best
friend, so why would I say that about her? I am such an idiot!//
    She found Willow downstairs, about to run out the door. "Will, donÆt please."
    "Why would you say that about me? IÆm your best friend. YouÆre supposed to
have confidence in me, not insult me."
    "IÆm sorry. I just had a bad dream and was worried. I was wrong and I
appoligize for that." She took a deep breath. "But thatÆs not important right
now. Willow, you know that dream I had of Drusilla killing Angel when I was
almost 17? Well, I had the exact same dream again, only you were killed also
by Drusilla. I, I think that it will come true. Drusilla being alive and
murdering you and Angel."
    "Look, Buffy, what you said really hurt, and I donÆt think I can forgive you.
But whatÆs happening now is more important. IÆll try to figure out what it
means. Go back to sleep."
    "But Will, you canÆt just sit there hating me. I need you to forgive me."
    "What you said ruined the past five years of friendship. You shouldÆve had
more faith in me. How are either of us supposed to do our jobs when we are
angry at each other. Now, if you want to stay, stay. But IÆd rather work
alone."
    Buffy appoligized once more before going back to her room.
    Willow spent the remander of the evening researching Slaying dreams, bringing
vamps back to life, and just Spike and DrusillaÆs activities in general.
Almost none of GilesÆs books said much these topics, but she didnÆt give up
hope. At about 4:30 in the morning, she found a book about the ritual to bring
a vamp back to life.
    "Buffy!" she cried. Buffy came running downstairs to see what was wrong.
    "Will, what happened?"
    "I found it!"
    "Found what?"
    "The ceremony to bring a vamp back to life. It states that if the vampire is
not the Master, you donÆt need the bones. You need a drop of the sireÆs blood,
part of the ashes, and the one he or she had the strongest conection with
while they were undead. This all has to take place on the anniversery of their
death."
    BuffyÆs face turned a ghostly white. "Yesterday was the anniversery. Drusilla
is alive."

End Part 5




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope  (epilogue)
Date: 18 Apr 1998 15:11:03 PDT

Epilogue

ôItÆs a little late for such a little girl to be out all by herself,
donÆt you think?ö  A smooth voice called out in the night.

Annoyed, Hope stopped dead in her tracks and turned around, preparing to
make a wise-ass comment to the stranger.  The sudden smile that formed
on her lips marked her instant reaction to the deep blue eyes that
stared into hers.  She was taken back by the manÆs good looks.  The
sandy blond hair that fell just below his ears framed his handsome face.
She was particularly startled by this, not expecting such a gorgeous
creature.

Hope attempted to speak, but something stopped her.  Those eyes.  She
began to notice there was a familiar coldness about them, a frigid
emptiness that lacked feeling and emotion.  She had seen the same look
before.  HopeÆs eyes narrowed at her disappointing realization: Vampire.

ôThat depends on your definition of little,ö she answered coolly, her
attitude showing through her body language.  Hope held her hands on her
hips, with her head cocked to one side and her right eyebrow raised in a
manner that resembled Cordelia.

He smiled, clearly amused at her anger.  ôOh, well donÆt take offense to
what I said.  It was just an observation.ö

ôWell, let me tell you what you can do with your observations,ö she
snapped defensively.

ôWoah, woah,ö he said, holding his hands up in front of him.  ôCalm
down.  Let me introduce myself--ö

ôIÆm sorry,ö Hope interrupted, ôBut my mom told me never to talk to
strangers, let alone vampires.ö

The cold blue eyes opened wide with surprise, but the look was instantly
replaced by a humor as a grin formed on his red lips.  ôVampire?ö

ôDonÆt play games with me.  I know what you are.  Vampire.  Creature of
the Night.  One who sucks blood,ö she said, exasperately.

He laughed.  ôWell, well, well.  You must be that slayer IÆve been
hearing so much about.  The infamous Buffy Summers.ö

Hope smiled.  ôNo, you are wrong.  But you will get to take home this
nice consolation prize,ö she said, fingering the stake that rested in
the sleeve of her sweater.

ôOh, and whatÆs that?ö  He asked, casually running his hands through his
hair as if too distract the girl with his boyish charm.

ôThis pretty little stake!ö  She squealed with mock enthusiasm as she
whipped out the stake and plunged it into the vampires heart before he
even knew what happened.

Wiping the dust from her hands, she replaced the stake in the sheath and
continued walking through the desolate graveyard.  Hope hated
cemeteries, but knew that this was the place to be for vampire hunting.
She had taken over patrol for Buffy, who was still very much in mourning
over Angel.

It had been a long week for the Slayer and her slayerettes since that
fateful night.  A week of tears, anger, frustration, and understanding.
BuffyÆs friends continued to comfort and support her.  Her sorrow
affected all of them, even the thick-skinned Cordelia, who, in a fight
to heal her leg, threw a small party for the Slayer.  Everyone gathered
in BuffyÆs living room, with food, and movies, and laughter.  Their
festivities had lasted the whole night, and despite the heavy sadness
that loomed in her heart, Buffy had a good time.

Hope sighed heavily and sat down on the steps of one of the old crypts.
It had been eight days since she met Buffy and learned of her fate.  It
was a trying time for the girl, with new emotions and responsibilities.
Her parents wanted her to drop out of school and focus on her destiny as
a Slayer, but she had readily refused their pleas.  Hope wanted to be as
much as a teenager as she could possibly be, and school was important to
her.  Not only that, she wasnÆt to happy on the idea of her being
immortal.  The thought sent chills down her spine.  She would forever be
a 17 year old girl...forced to watch her family and friends die, while
she lived on, knowing she would never age, never bear children.....and
never die.

In addition to those problems, something else plagued her intensely.
AngelÆs death.  Giles told her countless times not to blame herself, but
the guilt remained strong.  Hope felt like she failed her parents,
Buffy, and most of all Angel.  She never got to give him his greatest
wish--to be human.  The only comfort she had was that Angel could still
be with Buffy, watching over her like her guardian of the night.

Hope leaned back against the wall, a smile forming on her pale face.
Chuckling slightly, she recalled the night that Giles told Buffy she was
alive.  The SlayerÆs shock was overwhelming, and when Hope walked into
the room, Buffy was still in denial.  She had screamed, ôNo way!  Either
IÆm seeing a ghost, or thatÆs a vampire!  Giles!...,ö she clutched his
shoulder, staring at him with wide open eyes..., ôGet me my stake!!!ö

Despite the serious of that Saturday afternoon, two days after the
horrible night, Hope couldnÆt help but find humor in the whole thing.
When Buffy came to grips with reality, her denial did a complete
one-eighty, turning into a mixture of relief and happiness.  The joyful
tears that were shed in their reunion could have filled a river, and
BuffyÆs sad spirits had been lifted, the heaviness of her heart growing
lighter.  That night Hope stayed at BuffyÆs house, and they talked all
night long.  Buffy was forever thankful that Hope saved her life, and
told her not to feel guilty over AngelÆs death.  BuffyÆs forgiveness
meant more to Hope than she could possibly know.  ôIt wasnÆt your fault
that Angel died,ö Buffy had said to her.

< Everyone has been telling me that >  Hope thought sorely.  Xander,
Buffy, Giles, her parents.  A thousand of those exact words could be
spoken, and her feelings wouldnÆt change.  No one could understand what
she was feeling.  So much had changed in her life over the course of a
week.  Everything that she thought life to be was a lie.  Everything she
thought about herself was a lie.  Hope continually thought æWhy Me?Æ and
cursed the heavens for giving her this fate.  Hope felt like she was
doomed to live a life of violence.  With her innocence lost, she was now
a completely different person.  < I wonder what my friends back home
would think about me now? >

Resentment.  < Would they resent me?  Buffy does.... >  Hope could see
it lying in the SlayerÆs eyes.  There wasnÆt a lot of it, but it was
still there.  Hope was sympathetic to her friendÆs feelings, and was
more than understanding.  She knew that BuffyÆs life hadnÆt been
everything it should.  She wasnÆt a normal teenager, and trying to
juggle two lives--being the slayer and being Buffy--was hard.  Now she
had to deal with a new slayer on the block.  First Kendra--now her.
Although Buffy was thankful to have someone she could rely on and relate
to, she still felt jealous and upset over having GilesÆ attention being
divided.  Something else bothered Buffy greatly about Hope.  She had the
advantage over Buffy--Buffy could die, Hope couldnÆt.  But, despite
those feelings of anger and resentment, Buffy was much more happy to
have her friend back than she was angry.  The Slayer pushed those bad
feelings aside, and looked at the positive issues. Another Slayer meant
less vampires, and a better change of killing off Spike and Drusilla.  A
better change of seeking and obtaining revenge.

In the midst of her thoughts, Hope almost didnÆt notice the presence of
another person near her until the hair on the back of her neck stood on
end.  She stood up quickly and grabbed the stake from her sheath.
ôOkay--I know someone is out there, so just go ahead and come on out
æcause I donÆt have all night.ö  She waited, and the presence grew
stronger, even though no one came out.  ôHello?!  While IÆm still young,
please!ö

Out of no where, a figure jumped down on her from the roof of the crypt.
She toppled, rolling down the steps.  ôOuch!ö  She called out loudly.
ôWho ever you are, your gonna pay!  That hurt you son of a bitch!ö  She
scrambled to her feet and waited for the figure to attack.  He just
stood there, in the shadows, concealing his identity.  Annoyed for the
second time that evening, Hope gritted her teeth.  ôWhat is with you?
Are you trying to be Mr. Mysterioso or something?ö

ôHa Ha.  Very funny,ö SpikeÆs voice said, dripping with sarcasm.

She rolled her eyes.  ôOh, itÆs you.ö

ôThatÆs not the way to greet someone,ö he said, leaning against a tree.

ôLike I care,ö she snapped, holding up her stake.  ôWhat do you want?ö

ôDonÆt worry, IÆm not here to hurt you,ö he said, grinning.  ôI want to
know what is the deal with you.  What the bloody hell are you?ö  His
much too casual tone and manner made Hope uncomfortable.

ôWhat do you mean by that?  IÆm a normal human being,ö she replied,
taking a deep breath.

ôNo normal human can fight like you can.  I see it this way:  You canÆt
be a Slayer, because there is already two of them.  You canÆt be a
vampire because you wear that cross without pain.  So _what_ are you?ö

The vampire stepped out from the shadows and stood beneath the pallid
moonlight.  To Hope, his chiseled features and British accent screamed
æsexyÆ.  She tried to push that thought from her mind, but his good
looks were hard to ignore.  ôMaybe IÆm just special,ö she crooned,
leaning against a large tombstone.

Spike laughed loudly, his dark eyes gleaming.  Sauntering up to Hope, he
stood so close she could smell his cologne and feel his non-existent
breath upon her face.  ôMaybe you are special,ö he whispered, running a
hand along her arm.  Grabbing her fiercely, he kissed her roughly on the
mouth.

Lost in the embrace, Hope almost didnÆt notice his lips moving to her
neck.  Feeling his mouth brush against her throat, she broke out of the
trance and instantly shot her leg up, kicking him hard in the groin.
The vampire groaned loudly, keeling over in pain.

ôNice try, dead boy,ö she laughed, grabbing his hair.  Slamming his head
against her knee, she brought her stake up and plunged it in his heart.

She stepped backward, waiting for his body to burst into ashes.
Instead, she saw blood coming from his chest and realized she missed his
heart and stabbed his lung.  ôAh, shit,ö she said loudly, watching Spike
wither in pain.  He yanked the stake out of his body and glared at her,
fuming.  ôI canÆt believe I missed.
I mean, IÆve been practicing my aim for the last week.  Ugh.ö

ôYou bitch,ö he growled, clutching his chest.  ôThis isnÆt over.ö

Hope shrugged, and watched the vampire struggle to walk away.  ôThatÆll
leave a mark,ö she grinned.

When Spike was out of sight, Hope returned to her thoughts while slowing
strolling through the cemetery.  < What a jerk > she thought.  < He
thought his good lucks would allow him to distract me.  Ugh!  See if I
ever let _that_ happen again!..... >  Hope shook her head, silently
scolding herself.  < But wait?  What am I worried about?  He canÆt kill
me!  But can he turn me into a vampire even though I am already
immortal?  Hmmm...IÆll have to add to my list of things to ask
Giles..... >

< Spike is incredibly sexy.  I wonder what he is like in bed?...> Hope
practically slapped herself. < AKK! Bad thought!  He is the enemy!  A
vampire!.......but a good looking vampire.  I mean, IÆm gonna live
forever, why not get my kicks now?.... >  A wide grin formed on her
lips.  < But what would Buffy do if she ever found out? >  Her grin
turned into a frown.  < Why should I be worried about what she thinks?
SheÆs in love with a vampire!--But he was a good vampire.  Spike is a
bad vampire... >  She sighed, plopping down on a bench.  < Oh well.
Like it will ever happen.  >

Hope craned her neck upward and stared at the bright stars that hung in
the sky.  Her thoughts drifted to CaploeÆs Hill, the place where she
would always go to think in San Diego.  < I need to find a place like
that here >  she thought, and remembered her conversation with Xander on
her first day at SHS.  He told her about an lookout point where could
see all the city lights at night.  Immediately, she stood up and began
to swiftly walk there.  < Where did he say it was?  On Old Creek Road,
ten minutes from the school? >

A half an hour later, Hope reached a large, grassy hill.  ôThis must be
it,ö she said aloud, and began hiking through the grass.  ItÆs steepness
was immensely tiring, but she trekked up it until she reached the top.
Hope pushed away the trees and bushes, until she came to a big clearing
at the edge of the cliff.

Hope gasped at the beautiful sight she had found.  The lights of
Sunnydale illuminated the clear night sky, and the stars were even more
radiant at this high elevation.  Slowly sitting down, she leaned against
an old tree trunk and watched over the city, as if she were itÆs
guardian of the night.  Awed by the magnificent sight, Hope almost
forgot all her troubles.  ôItÆs amazing that, underneath all of this,
lies the mouth of Hell.  Under the beauty is a beast,ö  she murmured.

< And that beast has fucked up my life >

She sighed heavily, pulled her knees up to her chest.  A light wind blew
about her, slightly chilling her.
< I wish Xander could be up here with me.... >  She thought.  Her heart
had been broken over seeing him with Cordelia.  < Well, if heÆs happy
with her, then I guess IÆm happy for him.  There are other fish in the
sea.  All I have to do is find myself  vampire with a soul and IÆm all
set.  >  Her thoughts drifted to Spike.
< I wonder if....No.  No way.  Spike with a soul? >

Hope couldnÆt help but laugh at her thought.  < Spike with a soul.
Could it work?  I mean, could I possible give him a soul?  WouldnÆt that
be a site.  >

Getting the feeling she wasnÆt alone, Hope looked up to see Buffy
standing behind her.  ôHey,ö she said softly.

ôOh, hi.  How long have you been standing there?ö  Hope asked,
surprised.

ôNot long,ö she replied, sitting down next to Hope.  ôI see youÆve found
the lookout.ö

Hope nodded.  ôYeah...I needed a place to think.  Xander told me about
it.ö

Buffy smiled.  ôWell, this is definitely a good place to come and be
alone.  Do you want me to leave?ö

ôOh, no.  Of course not,ö Hope assured her.  ôHow are you?ö

Buffy felt the tears come to her eyes.  ôIt hurts.ö

Hope put a comforting arm around her friend.  ôI know.ö

ôI miss him so much,ö she cried softly, letting the tears fall freely
down her face.  ôI hope he doesnÆt forget me.ö

HopeÆs mind flashed to the cat sitting on BuffyÆs bed, purring his heart
out.  She was the only one who knew that was Angel.  ôOf course he wonÆt
forget you.  How could he?  He loved  you more than life itself.ö

ôWhy did he have to die?ö  Buffy whispered, wiping the tears from her
eyes.

ôI donÆt know,ö Hope lied.  < The reason he died was because the demon
was keeping his body alive, and when the demon left, his soul wasnÆt
strong enough to keep him alive >   ôBut I do know that where ever you
are, he will be in your heart with you.ö

ôWhen did you become so wise,ö Buffy slightly joked.

ôItÆs just the whole immortality thing,ö Hope giggled.

ôI am so glad you didnÆt die.  I couldnÆt bear losing you both,ö Buffy
spoke, sniffling.

ôHow could I die when I had so much more slaying to do with you?ö Hope
said with a smile.

ôYeah, slaying isnÆt an easy job.  Are you sure your up to entering the
business?ö

ôMore than ready,ö she replied.

ôWell, then IÆm glad to have you on the team,ö Buffy said.

ôWell IÆll only join on one condition,ö Hope said, grinning.

Buffy raised an eyebrow.  ôWhat would that be?ö

ôThat we kill them.  We kill them all,ö Hope said.

Buffy sat straight up and stared at her with a more than shocked
expression.  ôThat is the exact same thing that----ö

ô--that Angel said to you when you first met,ö Hope said, finishing her
sentence.

ôBut how did you know that?ö  Buffy asked, not believing what she just
heard.

ôI just know,ö Hope whispered.  ôI donÆt know how I know.....I just do.ö

Buffy didnÆt know what to say.  ôYou know, this world never ceases to
amaze me.ö

ôI couldnÆt have said that better myself,ö she replied, taking her words
to heart.

A thick silence filled the air, speaking more than a thousand words.
The two friends stared out into the wide open sky, watching the stars
twinkle over the city lights.  In all her life, Buffy had never met a
person she related with until Hope entered her life.  Their connection
to each other was stronger than ever thought possible.  With their
soulÆs intertwined, a friendship was formed.  One that would withstand
even the harshest enemies that threatened to tear it apart.  An
unbreakable bond lasting forever.








______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:The Watcher (6/8)
Date: 19 Apr 1998 08:53:42 EDT

The Watcher (6/8)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: The Watcher
AUTHOR: Jaclyn [e-mail]
RATING: PG/PG-13
SUMMARY: This takes place four years later while the Buffy gang is attending
Montague University near Sunnydale. AngelÆs soul has been permanently
restored, and he is 100% human. Jenny Calendar is still alive. Buffy will be
getting a new Watcher.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the
Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century
Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. No infringement intended.
FEEDBACK: Please be nice; IÆm still a newbie.

    Buffy ran upstair to wake Angel. "Angel! Angel!" she cried out.
    He ran out of the room in a state of bewilderment. "Buffy, whatÆs wrong?"
    "Drusilla, sheÆs, sheÆs-"
    "What is she? Whatever it is we can handle it."
    "SheÆs alive."
    A dead silence filled the hall. Even Xander, Oz, and Cordelia who had
appeared in the doorways were shocked.
    "Buffy, are you sure?" Cordelia asked.
    She nodded her head meekly. "What are we going to do, Angel? The last fight I
had with Dru, she nearly killed me. If you werenÆt thereà"
    "DonÆt worry. ItÆs not a big deal. WeÆll handle it; we always do, right?" He
held her in his arms.
    "IÆve got to go. IÆve got to kill her."
    "You canÆt just go there alone," Cordelia said.
    "SheÆs right," added Xander. "IÆll go with you."
    "No, you wonÆt. IÆm going alone. More deaths is the last thing I need. I want
all of  you to stay here. Angel, if IÆm not back by sundown, come after me
alone."
    "You canÆt do this," Angel spoke again. "I wonÆt let you."
    She placed a kiss on his lips and ran into her room, locking the door behind
her.
***
    As she arrived at the warehouse, she was met by Spike and some of his men.
"Well, well, well, if it isnÆt the little Slayer. I æavenÆt seen you in
Sunnydale in years."
    "IÆm going to kill her, Spike. Her and you."
    "ThatÆll be the day."
    "You donÆt think I could?" She kicked him in the face. Two of the others
jumped on her, but she got them off. Spike took a piece of metal from the side
of the wall and hit her in the head. She was in a daze whenthe rest of the
vamps grabbed her and dragged her off into the warehouse. As she got in
everything went cold.
***
    "Spike?" Drusilla asked wearily. "Spike, come æere." Her beautiful body lay
on her bed. Dressed in a long red gown and having her gorgeous black hair
curled, she waited for her reincarnation party.
    "IÆm right here, love. What is it?"
    "WhereÆs my Angel?"
    "That bloody Slayer returned his soul to him. HeÆs back to being the Buffy-
whipped Angelus now." //Which is not half bad// he added silently. "Are you
feeling any better?"
    "IÆm ready for my party, Spike. I need my party."
    "ItÆll come all in good time." He kissed her seducing lips. "ItÆs been ages.
I have a little present for you."
    She stepped out of bed and, with her full strength, went into the main room.
There, BuffyÆs arms and legs were chained up to the wall. She walked over to
her and shoved her neck into position. "ThisÆll be a tasty treat."

End Part 6



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:The Watcher (7/8)
Date: 19 Apr 1998 09:17:05 EDT

The Watcher (7/8)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: The Watcher
AUTHOR: Jaclyn [e-mail]
RATING: PG/PG-13
SUMMARY: This takes place four years later while the Buffy gang is attending
Montague University near Sunnydale. AngelÆs soul has been permanently
restored, and he is 100% human. Jenny Calendar is still alive. Buffy will be
getting a new Watcher.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the
Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century
Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. No infringement intended.
FEEDBACK: Please be nice; IÆm still a newbie.

    DrusillaÆs games face appeared as she pierced Buffy neck. She drank slowly
and calmly. Suddenly though, she was knocked over.
    "Willow!" Buffy cried. "Get out of here!"
    "I donÆt think so." She kicked Drusilla in the face and threw her against the
wall. Spike came up behind and grabbed her, so she smacked her head against
his. Drusilla, in the mean time, had stayed against the wall. Willow grabbed
her stake and shoved it into her heart.
Spike, in a mad rage, got up and ran towards Buffy. He sunk his fangs deep
into her neck where Dru left off. Slowly, the life drained out of BuffyÆs
face. Willow hobbled over to her as fast as she could. She kicked Spike in the
face and sent him flying into a wall. Willow pulled another stake out of her
jacket and stuck it into Spike.
Quickly, she ran over to Buffy. She was unconscious hanging from the wall.
Willow gently set her free and layed her upon the ground. She dragged Buffy
out into the street and called for help.
Soon an ambulence was there. "SheÆll live," the paramedics said. "She is going
to live."

End Part 7




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: G90210 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: BBETA: Darkness and Light *POEM*
Date: 19 Apr 1998 12:23:20 EDT

This poem is from Buffy's POV, before S/I,
FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!
E-mail me at............     [e-mail]




Darkness and Light
by:mInDy

Have you ever looked,
At where the sun meets the shadow.
Both the same,
Yet so different.
One so opening,
And inviting.
One so cold,
And hostile.
The dark is him,
And the light is me.
Both the same,
Yet so different.
And we're both stuck inbetween.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: G90210 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: BBETA: Life's A Bitch (4a/?)
Date: 19 Apr 1998 12:32:47 EDT

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  This was just a thought I had one day.  Because Buffy has to
deal with stuff, most people don't think exist(right they don't, come on now
for my own mentalness, they don't!) What about when she has to face real
stuff, like real diseases.  I don't know why I thought of this, but
oh well I did.

TITLE: Life's A Bitch
AUTHOR: mInDy    ([e-mail]      or       [e-mail])
SUMMARY: I don't know how to write one to this, so read.......it's about Buffy
and Angel for those of you who it matters too.
SPOILERS: None at the moment.
TIME LINE: After S/I
IMPORTANT: Angel IS good in my story, he does has soul, and the curse can't be
broken this time.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!!
WARNING: Major character dies. Look at the title and the language will be
explained.


Life's A Bitch
by: mInDy
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    When Buffy woke up, she looked next to her and saw Angel laying next to her,
and the events of the night before came flashing back.  She wanted to take a
shower so badly.  She got up, and carefully got off the bed, careful, not to
wake Angel up.  She walked into the bathroom crying, and turned on the water.
That got Angel up.  It took him a minute, to realize what had happened, and
who was in his bathroom.  Once he did, he ran in the bathroom, and held Buffy
back before she got in the shower.

    "Buffy, DON'T take a shower!" Angel screamed at her.

    Buffy looked confused and asked, "Why?"

    "Because, Buffy, if you take a shower, you'll wash off anything that could
help identify who the guy is, who raped you."

    "Oh, ok.......so when am I gonna go to the doctor's then, I don't wanna go
alone."
Buffy said, looking so young and innocent, why would anybody hurt, Angel
thought.

    "I call Willow, ok?"

    "Ok."

    Angel went and called Willow, and told her everything, that happened.  Willow
was over in a matter of minutes to help her friend.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
TBC...
I know it's short, but it has been sitting on my desk forever now, thought I
send what I've got!




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: G90210 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: BBETA: Questions Unanswered *POEM*
Date: 19 Apr 1998 12:41:38 EDT

Here is another poem, again, I am begging for feedback!!!! Buffy's POV.
E-mail me at......    [e-mail]

DISCLAIMER:  I own nothing.

Questions Unanswered
by mInDy

Once in a lifetime,
You find the one you love
  for all of time.
I found mine,
But the love he gave in return
  is gone.
One night of passion,
Turned my world upside down.
One night of love,
Ruined my life.
Will I ever have him back?
Will we ever have a love like before?
So many questions ask,
But somebody was told,
Not to answer them.
Someone was told to make me suffer,
But is he suffering too?



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:The Watcher (8/8)
Date: 19 Apr 1998 14:10:38 EDT

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The Watcher (8/8)
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: The Watcher
AUTHOR: Jaclyn [e-mail]
RATING: PG/PG-13
SUMMARY: This takes place four years later while the Buffy gang is attending
Montague University near Sunnydale. AngelÆs soul has been permanently
restored, and he is 100% human. Jenny Calendar is still alive. Buffy will be
getting a new Watcher.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the
Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century
Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. No infringement intended.
FEEDBACK: Please be nice; IÆm still a newbie.

    Buffy lay in the hospital bed for about three days. Giles, Xander, Cordelia,
Oz, and Angel had come to see her numerous times, but Willow hadnÆt come by
since the day she brought her. Buffy conscience hurt more than any of her
injuries did. She would never forget the look of hurt on her friendÆs face.
Sure, Spike and Drusilla were dead, but at what price? She had given up her
best friend and her favorite Watcher. //I acted like a total bitch// she
thought. //If only I hadnÆt-//
    WillowÆs appearance interupted her thoughts. "Hey."
    "Hi."
    "HowÆre you feeling?"
    "Better. But I still am upset about what I said to you. Will, I wasnÆt upset
about you becoming my new Watcher; I was upset about losing Giles, and I took
my anger out on you. I was acting like a real bitch. IÆm really sorry."
    "ItÆs okay. I can understand about you not being ready to let go of Giles."
    "No, itÆs not okay. Good friends donÆt say stuff like that about other
friends-no matter what."
"We shouldnÆt ruin our friendship just because of something as little as this.
IÆm sorry that I totally overreacted about how you felt. You have a right to
your own opinions, even if I donÆt like them. Friends?"
"Friends." The girls hugged each other.
"Sorry to interrupt," Giles said, "but I need to talk to both of you."
"Giles!" Buffy cried. "YouÆre back!"
"IÆm afraid," he spoke, "that IÆve made a terrible mistake."
"Like what?" asked Willow.
"When I was researching the next Watcher, I make an error. Willow, you arenÆt
the Watcher."
"What!?" the two girls cried in unison.
"Um, the next person in line is Samuel Henry Champlain from Canada."
"Giles," Willow cried in excitement, "so IÆm not Watcher?"
"Not at the present time. You will, however, be in line after Mr. Champlain."
Buffy had a confused look on her face. "But then how did Willow kill Spike and
Drusilla. She had incredible strength and fighting technique."
"Uh, IÆm not sure. YouÆll have to talk to your new Watcher about that. As for
me, IÆve got to go home and see Jenny. Good luck, Buffy. IÆve met your new
Watcher before and heÆs a very nice person. IÆll see you soon."
"Bye."
End of The Watcher

--part0_893009438_boundary--



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (part 5)
Date: 19 Apr 1998 12:42:39 -0700

For disclaimers see part one

A Stroke of Luck (part 5)

    Spikes thoughts shifted... He'd forgotten about the pet he'd left in
the cellar. A bit annoyed he got up, it was nighttime again, which means
he had left her down there for a good 24 hours, if not more.
    His footsteps echoed through the warehouse, and he tried to push
Drusilla out of his mind time being, so that he may check up on his new
playmate. But the more he thought of the little red head, a *friend* of
the slayers, the more enraged he became...

~ From below or saints above? ~
~ You came to me ~

    Swinging open the door, Spike walked into the room.
    Willow jerked up with a start, covering her eyes from the light as
Spike walked over to her
    "Rise 'n Shine." Spike said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.. to hide
the pain...
    "You were sleeping, right? Looked that way" He muttered, walking around
the
girl.
Willow's eyes adjusted slowly to the light...
    "Let me go" She said meekly. Spike rolled his eyes, how'd he guess
that'd be the first thing out of her mouth?
    "I promise I won't tell Buffy.. I-I can say I--" Spike put his hand up.
    "That's enough. I think we both know you're not going anywhere."
    "She'll come for me" Willow threatened
    "Yeah," Spike said "I'm counting on it"

~ Here comes the cold again ~
~ I feel it closing in ~

        Willow shivered inwardly. 'Counting on it?' she thought, then...
If he was counting on Buffy coming to save her... she had no chance. He
could use her dead or alive...Tears neared her eyes, though she wouldn't
let them fall...

       He looked her up and down again, his first impression was (of
course) that she was weak... Her hair clung to her face, and her eyes
were framed in blue circles. She looked pretty pale too, though he
thought nothing of it being trapped in a cellar for 24 hours, is hardly
something to bring the colour out in your cheeks
      Spike reached his hand up to get a strand away from her eyes,
Willow tried to jerk back, but was in an awful position to do so.

~ It's falling down and ~
~ All around me falling ~


    "Well." Spike sighed, walking quickly to the candle, picking up the key
behind it.
    "Let's get you down"
    "What?" Willow's eyes fluttered, she thought she might be dreaming..
did he just say--
    "Would you rather stay chained to a wall?" Spike asked cocking his head
to the side waiting for her answer
    She looked downwards
    Spike laughed    "course not."  He continued to unlock the chains.
        As soon as the second lock was undone Willow fell.
        Right into Spike arms, for the second time. He leaned over to
help her stand, pulling her up.
    "you okay?"
    Willow nodded, but made no move to stand
    Spike laughed again, and picked up her feet, and began to carry her.
    Willow's heart stop!
        She wanted to fight him off, to scream and rip out his heart...
    But she was so tired.
    She cursed herself for her weaknesses... This would never happen to
Buffy she knew. But she wasn't a slayer, She was just Willow.

    Spike proceeded to carry her out of the cellar. He had no idea what he
was going to do with the girl, but he was extremely bored, and sitting
around moping was oddly getting him no where.
    So, he took her to the main room, and sat her down on top of the table.
    He steadied her so she might sit up, and not fall down.
    It worked.
        She sat there, staring off into space. Spike took a seat on some
crates across from her. Only When he looked into her eyes did he see
terror... Sure, he could've sensed it...and sure she tried to cover up,
but once you get a taste of it....Well... Spike could just tell she was
scared.. and with good cause too.
    "What are you..." Willow tried to speak, her voice trembling a bit. "I
mean... are you..."
    Spike smiled. This would be good fun. Something to detour the hurt he
felt, and something to do.
    Willow spoke up, hiding her fears "Are you going to kill me?"
    Smooth willow she chided herself. Of course he's gonna kill you. Your
of no use to him! Or...maybe.. bait? She shook the inside of her head.
Her thoughts were making her dizzy anyway's.
    When she finally got up the nerve to look at Spike was looking at her,
he was just staring. She began to wonder if he was going to answer her
question...

    He was a bit fascinated, she was pretty, he admitted. Somewhat of a
mouse though. Not  to mention one of the slayers bestest friends...
Which made him want to kill her terribly much.
    "I don't quiet know yet" He finally answered.
    "Then why'd you hunt me?"
    Spikes eyes shot to hers, and she immediately looked away. "come
again?"
    "You.. um.. You took me, and you locked me up.. in a dark.. um" Willow
rubbed the large round bruises on her wrists not sure where she was
going or what to say.
    "no, no." Spike declared "you said. Hunt. Hunted. Why did I hunt you?"
    Willow began to fill uneasy again.
    "*I* didn't hunt *you*" He hissed, getting up off the crate.
    "*I* didn't even hurt you." He said walking closer. "And, in case you
haven't noticed your still" He said leaning over to look her directly in
the eyes "*very* much alive"
    Willows eyes went huge. And her hands began to shake a bit in alarm and
panic.
She hadn't meant to anger him! Of course she hadn't meant to anger him!
No one means to anger the person who is considering killing them!

    Spike continued to glare into her eyes. But he wasn't thinking of her.
He didn't even see her. He saw Dru. It was her scared eyes he was
looking into, not willows. It was Drusilla's trembles he felt, it Dru...
It was Dru he remember, as he closed his eyes when a vision of her body
exploding to dust came...
He turned his chin away from Willow's.

      "Come 'mere, love" Spike asked, suddenly taking her shaking hands
and leading her away...


--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jaclyn Amy <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Reader Wanted
Date: 19 Apr 1998 14:39:56 EDT

I'm working on a new story that I'm kinda unsure about. I would appreciate it
if someone would help me by proofing it before it goes to the list. If
interested, please e-mail me privately at Jaclyn [e-mail]. Thanks.

-Jaclyn



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (9/13)
Date: 19 Apr 1998 15:48:58 EDT

Lost & Found 9

Title: Lost & Found (9/13)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = violence and graphic descriptions (no sex)
Summary: Series after Vengeance - Buffy, Xander, Willow & Giles are all
vampires.  Drusilla is making Buffy pay for supposedly killing Spike.
Previous Stories: If you like this story but don't understand it, it's
probally
because you haven't read Vengeance. That came before this one and this
is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html
Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask.
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe)
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the
more writting I do!  I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I
just
want to know.

This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally
a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions
and some people may be upset by the story. There is a PG-13 rating on
this story however, there is no sex or sexual situations. Just some Buffy
like language and violence. This story will go on for a while, or until I come
up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong
to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc.

************
    "Is everything ready?"
    "Yes," Xander and Willow said in unison.
    "Good. Now go," said a tall creature.  "Dru, come here baby."  Drusilla
danced over to him with a smile on her face.  "Are you sure this is what
you want?"
    Dru smiled and looked into his eyes. "Yes, they betrayed me. I must
know who loves me."
    "Okay, if you want it, you shall have it!" The man scooped her up
into his arms and headed up stairs.

*****

    "You know what's going to happen to us."
    "Yeah, I'm not too worried though."  Spike was almost sure of
himself.
    "Really? You don't seem to intimidating all chained up and
bloody like that." Angel was going to use words to hurt Spike since
physical violence wasn't exactly an option.
    The large metal door opened again revealing Xander and Oz in
the doorway. "Come on boys, time to play."  They both entered the
room with keys in their hands. Xander walked over to Spike and undid
the lock on his hands. Spike fell forward to the ground, his feet still
chained up.
    "Did you have to do my hands first?" Spike moaned out.
    "Well, if I did your feet first, it wouldn't be any fun." Xander smiled
down at Spike's face that laid flat against the cold ground. He undid
the locks on his feet and dragged Spike out of the room.  Oz did
the same for Angel and dragged him out after Spike.
    Drusilla stood by a large table next to the dark mysterious
figure. The man wore a cape with a hood that covered his face. Willow
stood off to a corner, excitement showing through her quiet expression.
Xander and Oz dragged the two into the room and dropped them on the
floor in front of Drusilla.
    "Oh good, the guests are here, now we can start the party,"
Drusilla said with an evil grin.
    "Not quite. You forgot me," Buffy said as she stood in the
doorway of the large cathedral like room.
    "Buffy, you weren't invited."
    "Well you know me, I just love to crash."  Buffy walked over
and stood between Spike and Angel's bodies.
    "Well, since you're here, I guess we can start with the
surprise."
    "Sounds good to me," Buffy said encouraging Drusilla to try
something, anything.
    "I would like you to meet a friend of mine." Drusilla turned
to the man and tilted her head, indicating for him to remove his hood.
Buffy watched in horror as the tall demon she once called a friend
revealed his face.  The rumors were true. Once called upon, a demon
would invade the body of a vampire and use the appearance as a
weapon. Giles was Drusilla's vampire of choice.  She laughed as she
watched Buffy's face fade to a paler white than usual.
    "I think you two have met," Drusilla said still laughing hysterically.
Giles didn't move as he watched Buffy's face switch between emotions.

End Part 9 --- PLEASE SEND FEEDBACK.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (10/13)
Date: 19 Apr 1998 15:51:57 EDT

Lost & Found 10

Title: Lost & Found (10/13)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = violence and graphic descriptions (no sex)
Summary: Series after Vengeance - Buffy, Xander, Willow & Giles are all
vampires.  Drusilla is making Buffy pay for supposedly killing Spike.
Previous Stories: If you like this story but don't understand it, it's
probally
because you haven't read Vengeance. That came before this one and this
is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html
Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask.
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe)
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the
more writting I do!  I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I
just
want to know.

This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally
a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions
and some people may be upset by the story. There is a PG-13 rating on
this story however, there is no sex or sexual situations. Just some Buffy
like language and violence. This story will go on for a while, or until I come
up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong
to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc.

************

    Buffy refused to let her fear show. The fact that she was a very
powerful vampire would be her only advantage.  Buffy smiled as she
approached the table that stood between her and her enemies.
    "Don't just stand there. Let's get on with it. I'd like to be done by the
time the sun comes up, if that isn't a problem for you two."
    "Not at all," Drusilla said sounding confused. She couldn't tell if Buffy's
reaction was just an act. While Drusilla pondered Buffy's thoughts she
was hit in the chin with the table. Buffy had flipped it up and hit her and
Giles sending them falling to their backs.  Buffy threw the table over at
Willow who barely dodged it.
    Giles got to his feet and hit Buffy in the face with a hard punch.  She
turned her head away for a second and then hit him right back.  Strength
she never knew she had filled her body.  Buffy punched him continuously
preventing him from having the chance to strike back. All the anger that
she had inside of her came out through her fists.  Her punches and kicks
got stronger each time.  Finally she drew back for a final hit and struck him
directly in the face. He was sent flying into a wall. Buffy went after him,
drew
out a stake and shoved it into his chest.  The body exploded into dust.
    "Sorry Giles," Buffy mumbled under her breath.
    Buffy walked over and grabbed Drusilla by her shoulders, lifting her up
into the air.  "You made a big mistake coming here!" She threw her across
the room. Spike watched her hit a wall and crawled over to her.
    "Dru, are you hurt?"
    "Spike," she said sincerely, as she saw the love in his eyes.
    "I'm here baby," He smiled at her perfect features that he missed so
much over the years.
    "Spike, get away from her. This is my fight." Buffy charged towards them
and Spike stood up to block her.
    "No, not anymore."  Spike stood firmly in front of Drusilla.
    "Get *out* of my way. She is going to pay for what she did to me."
    "You don't see how alike you two are. Don't you get it? It's not her your
mad at. It's him." Spike pointed at Angel who was still trying to understand
what was going on.  Buffy turned to look at Angel and then back at Spike.
She stared at him, her face showing the confusion she was suffering from.
    "He made her insane. He killed everyone she loved. Who do you think
taught her how to do it to you?" Spike looked down at Drusilla's face that
looked almost sad. She could see all the death and pain that Angel caused
her replaying in her mind over and over.
    "You're right. He's the one I've been mad at all these years. As the
slayer and now as a vampire. Dru did what she did because she loved you.
Now, that I still don't understand, but let's not get into that..." Buffy's
words
faded away as a smile replaced them.
    "Do you still have that book?" Buffy asked as wheels turned in her head.
    "Yeah...why?"
    "I just realized something." The pieces of the puzzle began to fit
together.  "Go get the book. We've got some work to do." Spike picked
up Drusilla off the floor and left cautiously to get the book.
    "Buffy?" Xander said as he approached her from behind with Willow
on his arm.
    "Huh?" Buffy said as she turned around to face them.
    "What are you going to do?" Willow asked, her voice sounding worried.
    "All this time, I never thought vampires were capable of love.  As I
watched Spike and Dru together, I realized, we are. It's just a matter of
finding it." Oz joined Willow and Xander by Buffy and they all continued to
stare at her confused.
    "I found it," Buffy said with a smile as she looked at Angel.

End Part 10 - SEND FEEDBACK!!!!



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (11/13)
Date: 19 Apr 1998 15:54:52 EDT

Lost & Found 11

Title: Lost & Found (11/13)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = violence and graphic descriptions (no sex)
Summary: Series after Vengeance - Buffy, Xander, & Willow are all
vampires.  Drusilla is making Buffy pay for supposedly killing Spike.
Previous Stories: If you like this story but don't understand it, it's
probally
because you haven't read Vengeance. That came before this one and this
is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html
Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask.
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe)
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the
more writting I do!  I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I
just
want to know.

This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally
a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions
and some people may be upset by the story. There is a PG-13 rating on
this story however, there is no sex or sexual situations. Just some Buffy
like language and violence. This story will go on for a while, or until I come
up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong
to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc.

************
    "I still don't get it, Buffy." Spike said almost irritated.
    "The two of you love eachother right?"
    "Right," they said together.
    "Well, in case you hadn't noticed, you're not going to get anywhere
with Angel around.
    "True," Spike said starting to understand her plan.
    Buffy turned to see Angel walking about across the room.  "Hey Angel,
come over here a second," Buffy requested.
    "What?" Angel said as he walked over to them, still slightly delirious
from his head wounds.
    "What's the last thing in the world you want?"
    "There are lots of things, could you be more specific?" Angel's voice
was sarcastic.
    "Would you say that having a soul is one of those things?"
    "What are you getting at Buffy?" Angel stared into her eyes trying to
understand what she had up her sleeve. The rest of the group caught on to
her idea and smiled at the thought.
    "What better way to make Angelus suffer than to bring back his favorite
friend, Angel."  Buffy looked up into Angel's fuming eyes as he realized what
she had planned.
    "Not a chance," Angel said, almost positive that they wouldn't get away
with it.
    "Well, Angel, there are six of us and one of you. Who do you think is
going to win?" Buffy started to laugh as Angel tried to run away. Xander
stepped into his path.
    "Nope."  Angel tried to dodge him but again was blocked, by Oz.
    "Not this way either."  Drusilla watched the fun and decided to join in.
She broke away from Spike's embrace and walked over behind Angel.
    "Angel, darling." Angel spun around to feel Drusilla's hard left hook
connect with his nose. He fell to the ground, unconscious. Something
about that left hook that was just magical.
    "Where can I learn how to do that?" Willow asked, amazed that
someone could actually knock him out.  Drusilla turned around and danced
her way back to Spike's arms with a smile on her face.
    "Now, let's get started," Buffy instructed and everyone went to work.

************************
End Part 11 - Send Feedback. Also, I need editors for my stories. Any
volunteers?



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (12/13)
Date: 19 Apr 1998 16:01:03 EDT

Lost & Found 12

Title: Lost & Found (12/13)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = violence and graphic descriptions (no sex)
Summary: Series after Vengeance - Buffy, Xander, Willow & Giles are all
vampires.  Drusilla is making Buffy pay for supposedly killing Spike.
Previous Stories: If you like this story but don't understand it, it's
probally
because you haven't read Vengeance. That came before this one and this
is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html
Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask.
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe)
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the
more writting I do!  I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I
just
want to know.

This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally
a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions
and some people may be upset by the story. There is a PG-13 rating on
this story however, there is no sex or sexual situations. Just some Buffy
like language and violence. This story will go on for a while, or until I come
up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong
to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc.

************

    Everything was almost set. Xander and Oz were placing Angel's body
on the table. Buffy grabbed Spike's arm and took him away from Drusilla.
    "After we take care of Angel, I want you to perform the spell on me too."
Buffy couldn't believe her words. The demon inside of her was screaming for
her not to speak, but she overpowered it.
    "Are you sure about that?" Spike was surprised to hear her words as
well.
    "When you made me a vampire, I knew it was the only way to get Angel.
Now, I don't want it anymore."
    "Buffy, I don't get it. Vampire's don't have souls, you shouldn't be feeling
this way."
    "Spike, just cause we don't have souls doesn't mean I don't have
thoughts and memories. And all my good memories are with my friends."
Buffy paused for a short second. "And Angel."
    "If it's what you want, sure, but I don't know why the bloody hell you
would want it."
    "Just do it. As soon as our souls are restored, Angel and I can take
care of the others."
    "You might want to look into this 'thought' thing too. I can't believe a
violent vampire like yourself could feel this way."  Buffy hit Spike on the
arm.
They both smiled and walked back over to the group.
    "Okay, showtime."  Spike opened the book and began to read from it.
Angel awoke suddenly to Spike's chanting. Buffy stood by his feet and
watched his face as he realized what was going on.
    "NO!" Angel struggled to get up but it was too late, the spell was
working. He cried out in pain as he continued to try and get up. After Spike
finished, Angel collapsed.
    "Okay, my turn," Buffy said. Everyone in the room turned to her,
shocked.
    "Buffy? What the..." Buffy silenced Xander with her hand. "Stop. You
don't understand."
    "What is going on Buffy?" Drusilla took several steps until she was face
to face with Buffy.
    "Dru, you remember that night when you killed Xander?"
    "Yes..."
    "Let's just say, I'm a damn good actress!"
    "What are you talking about?" Xander said as he pulled Buffy to face
him."
    "When I confronted Drusilla, I wasn't Buffy Summers, Vampire Slayer.
I was Buffy Summers, Vampire. See, the night before, Spike and I had a
little chat.  He agreed to transform me into a vampire so that I could get
Angel out of his way." Buffy broke away from Xander's glare and walked
away from the group. "The next night, when you sent Spike after me, it
was all just a setup. We fought because Spike didn't want to go along
with the plan.  When he finally agreed, I stuck a spike in his gut just to
make sure he knew I was serious."
    "But, I turned you into a vampire," Drusilla said trying to catch Buffy's
eye.
    "Well, you did. You sucked me dry and then gave me your blood.  Let's
just say those rumors about how making a vampire a vampire doesn't work
aren't true. I'm still here."
    "To make a really long story short, I moved here to figure out the spell
and to get ready for Buffy to bring me Angel.  After you made her a vampire
again, she was too busy with killing of everyone who breathed on her, to
think about why she became a vampire in the first place. Basically, she
wants to have Angel back and that's what I'm going to do. After all, my word
is good. Most of the time."  Spike smiled slightly at all that was going on.
    Buffy turned to Xander. "Xander, I do have feelings for you, but you know
my heart belongs to Angel. It always has."
    "Unfortunately, I do."  He didn't know whether to be furious at her or to
be her friend. It was all too much at one time for him to handle, especially
as a vampire.  Buffy pushed Angel's body off the table so she could lay
down.
    "Okay, let's get this over with before the demon in me takes over."
    Spike started chanting again.  Buffy fell unconscious on the table.
"My job is done. Now lets get you home my sweet."  He scooped Dru up
into his arms and they left the room. Xander, Oz and Willow waited to see
what would happen when Angel and Buffy awoke.

End Part 12 - Send Feedback and I'm still looking for editors for my stories.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Lost & Found (13/13)
Date: 19 Apr 1998 16:03:56 EDT

Lost & Found 13

Title: Lost & Found (13/13)
Author: Michelle
E-mail: [e-mail]
Rating: PG-13 = violence and graphic descriptions (no sex)
Summary: Series after Vengeance - Buffy, Xander, Willow are all
vampires.  Drusilla is making Buffy pay for supposedly killing Spike.
Previous Stories: If you like this story but don't understand it, it's
probally
because you haven't read Vengeance. That came before this one and this
is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html
Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask.
Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe)
Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the
more writting I do!  I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I
just
want to know.

This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally
a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions
and some people may be upset by the story. There is a PG-13 rating on
this story however, there is no sex or sexual situations. Just some Buffy
like language and violence. This story will go on for a while, or until I come
up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong
to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc.

************

She awoke in his warm embrace. He had moved them into a dark
room where the sun couldn't find them.  Buffy's eyes opened slowly to
a familiar face.
    "Hi," she said softly.
    "Hey." His words were quiet and caring, something she
desperately missed.  Angel and Buffy were sitting peacefuly on a bed
in a small bedroom. As far as she could tell, they were still in the
house.
    "Xander, Willow, Oz?"
    "Willow and Xander are fine. I cast the spell on them yesterday.
They still haven't regained conciousness.  Oz however, got away. He
was too much for me to handle. I'm still pretty weak.
    "How long was I out for?" Buffy's voice was calm as she
settled herself against his body.
    "A few days, but you earned it." Angel smiled as he looked down
into her eyes.  They both had so much to say to eachother. So many
appologies. They both knew how sorry they were.
    "I can't beleive this is all happening," Buffy said as she
closed her eyes.
    "Me either, but it is."
    "Angel?" She opened her eyes to look into his.
    "Yeah?"
    "Hold me, and don't ever let go."
    "I won't. Ever."


*******

    Willow awoke lying next to Xander. He was still out, but she
watched him lovingly.  Willow sat up slowly and rested her back
against the wall.  She closed her eyes, reminising of the events that
had happened.  Everyone was a vampire.  It was a lot for a person to
take on.
    "Willow?" Xander's voice was weak as he slowly awoke to her
beautiful smile looking down on him.
    "I'm here." He smiled as her fingers carressed his face.  They
didn't need words to express the feelings they had for eachother.  It
had exisited when they were evil demons, and even when they were
humans. Now, as a combination of the two, they were finally able to
show it.  The two stared into eachothers eyes, smiles grazing their
flawless features.  Xander sat up next to her and placed her hands in
his.
    After several minutes of looking into eachother's eyes,
Xander moved in to kiss Willow. As they broke away, Willow said
werily, "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for that."
They both smiled as Xander took her into his arms. They had an
eternal life to build together.

***************************************************
That is the end of Lost & Found.  Putting an end to this series, I
will be starting an entirely new story that will start where this
story leaves off. Don't worry, I'll be sure to be descrptive so you
don't have to read all my previous stories to understand it.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A shot (or somthing) of luck
Date: 19 Apr 1998 17:10:16 +0000

ok, I totaly Erased the part 5 of that story! ok, in case my title
was wrong, the story was about spike, and drusilla had died, and
willow was chained up...that kind of thing. so if the person who
wrote it would send me another copy, I would be greatful, (It was a
wonderfull story)

    -Dru



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (part 6)
Date: 19 Apr 1998 16:27:45 -0700

For disclaimers see part 1

A Stroke of Luck (part 6)

    Buffy paced around in the waiting room franticly, grabbing every
doctors arm that walked by, asking about Giles.
    "Hey! Lady, wanna site down?" Yelled a guy watching the television.
    Buffy was about to give him a piece of her mind, when she spotted angel
walking
towards her.
    "What happened?" He asked his voice betraying a hint of sadness.
    "Drusilla...she was...uh...out hunting" Buffy assumed she was out
hunting at least.
      And tried to think hard of what to say next, especially after the
speech Angel had given her just days before... when he had his obsession
with Drusilla...
      But Angel wasn't listening. The minute she had said Dru's name the
light had clicked on in Angels mind. He stopped listening and began to
grow furious, They would *not* get away with this. He promised himself
and he promised Giles. Spike and Dru... they had gone to far now.
    Buffy continued, lost in thought of the day's events... "and.. she was
talking to Giles, right before I came...and...Umm.." Buffy looked at
Angel...
    "O god!" She cried softly, and Angel looked around to make sure no one
was listening. He pulled her to his arms, holding her securely
    "I killed her" Buffy said.
    Angels eyes flew wide open in shock... Dru was dead?
    "And now, he's killed Giles"
    "shhhh" he said
    Buffy shook visibly in his arms. Angel gently pulled her away to look
into her face. There were no tears in her eyes, but she was very clearly
distraught

~~

    Spike led Willow into another room in the warehouse. It was much more
decorated than the two she had just been in. But still looked way to
gloomy for her tastes.
    Her hands were shaking again. Spikes hands were cold. Very cold in
fact! And it scared her. Being around him, being trapped like this. It
made her feel to helpless.
    "This was her's" Spike began, swiping his hand around the room "all of
it"
    Willow's confused. Whose? Drusilla's? It must be, she thought, looking
at the dolls in the corner of the room and the lacey bed.
    Willow stopped her thought's suddenly "was?" She asked in her shaking
voice. The one she couldn't seem to get away.
    "Was." Spike said glaring at her. "She owned it all" His voice trailed
off
"Until your playmate killed her." He suddenly hissed
    Buffy!? Willow's wide-eyed expression was enough to make Spike want to
kill her all over again. She quickly saw the anger in his eyes, and
looked down. Willow began begging silently, to whatever gods would
listen to her. But at least she knew now. She knew the reason he had
brought her here... She was going to pay for Buffy's crimes.
    She looked up again. Spike wasn't looking at her, and she quickly began
to scan the room for a weapon or something.
    Willow smiled brightly. Leave it to Drusilla to label all her toys!
    "Willow?" Spike asked, turning to face her.
    Willow quickly took her eyes off the 'holy water' container and looked
at Spike.
    "Umm.. yeah?"
    "Goodnight." He said as he hit her over the head with his fist.
    Willow promptly went limp, and fell to the floor.



--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (Part 7)
Date: 19 Apr 1998 20:25:00 -0700

For disclaimers see part 1

A Stroke of Luck (part 7)


    When Willow awoke she was in complete darkness, she felt trapped around
in the silk sheets on the bed, and quickly untangled herself. She went
to stand up, to look for a way out.
      She fell back down again. Willow's head was spinning. Grabbing her
hands to her head in the pretense of stilling her mind she felt a large
bump on the side of her head, from when Spike had hit her...
      Willow groaned.
      Her eyes went wide, as though to see through the darkness
      "Gee Spike. Couldn't even leave me with a little light?" She asked
to no-one. Wondering where the hell she was now.
    Wondering where Buffy was now that she was the one needing to be
saved...

~~~~~

~ You say that you'll be there to catch me ~

    Buffy, Angel, Xander and Cordelia all sat in Giles hospital room,
waiting in silence. He had been unconscious for nearly two days now. The
doctors said he had a good chance. The 'tree branch' hadn't hit any
vital organs.
    "He had lost a lot of blood, and there was some shock to the heart. But
he should be fine."
    "Thanks"  Buffy told the doctor, and he left them alone with the
patient...

    She began to pace around the room. "I can't believe this" Buffy sighed.
    There was a long pause of silence, as the four of them sat there
starring off into space, each lost in their own thoughts.
      "I'm going to kill him... He can't..." She stopped. The emotion
she felt was overwhelming her. "He cannot get away with this!" She
hissed  "Angel, you know where he lives don't you?"
    Angel was at her side immediately "Going up against Spike now is not a
good idea Buffy. You know that!"
    He wasn't sure she'd heard him. He was about to comment some-more when
Xander spoke up.
    "Anyone seen Willow?"

~~~~~~~

    Spike had sat for the better part of the day remembering Drusilla. Just
laying on top of the conference table thinking about the past, when
Angel was Angelus and when Dru was alive.
    He had been off in his own world until his vampiric senses had picked
up Willow's movements. He listened.
    He had waited for her to fall back asleep, grabbing Lucius from his
slumber and  ordered him go out to get his new pet something to eat.
    He had nearly smacked him when he came back with pizza! But figured she
wouldn't mind, most likely think it was poisoned anyways.
    Spike crept into Dru's old room to look in on Willow.

    She lay there, curled up on the corner of the bed, the covers where
kicked aside and tangled near her feet. Hair clung to the side of her
face, and her clothes were ripped and tattered.
    But she was still beautiful.. The thought crossed Spikes mind...
    Moving to sit on the edge of the bed, he pushed a few strands of hair
away out of her face.
    She could've been Dru. Were it not for the fire in her hair.
    Leaning over he kissed her lips lightly, as an evil smile spread across
his face.



--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Any Room Left  (1/1)
Date: 20 Apr 1998 09:27:27 PDT

Author: Sara B.
email:  [e-mail]
Title:  Any Room Left
Distribution: Just let me know first!
Disclaimer: Anything affiliatied with Buffy ain't mine!
Summary:  This is just a little fic about Willow's thoughts.
It takes place right after last season's finale "Prophecy Girl."
Feedback: Please send!

Any Room Left  (1/1)


I canÆt believe it.

He asked me to the dance.

ME!

All of my hopes and dreams had come true in that instant.  This was the
moment I had been waiting for my entire life.  My first reaction was to
throw my arms around his neck and yell, ôYes!  Of course IÆll go with
you!ö

But I didnÆt, because the look in his eyes stopped me.  I had seen the
look before, itÆs familiarity hit me harshly.  It was the intense look
of rejection.  She had rejected him.  I couldnÆt believe it.  In less
than a second, I had gone from soaring high in the sky to plummeting
back down to the earth.  Reality hit me.

So, while my heart ripped into a million pieces and my knees grew weak,
I fought back my tears and uttered the words I never thought would come
out of my mouth at a moment like this.

I told him no.

I just flat out said it.  No.

He hadnÆt quiet heard me at first.  When he asked me to go, it was
moments after she had told him no, moments after she practically put a
knife through his heart.  I remember his exact words:

ôHey, I know what we'll do! We can go! Be my date! We'll, we'll have a
great time! We'll dance, we'll go wild... Whadaya say?ö

It was like he thought I had no feelings.  As if I was just his back up
plan, like an old toy just lying around to play with when the new one
broke.  So, I told him no.

My words had been, ôYou think I wanna go to the dance with you and watch
you wish you were at the dance with her? You think that's my idea of
hijinx? You should know better.ö

He stared at me when I said that like a ton of bricks had fallen upon
him from above.  His realization at his worlds left him ashamed.  ôI
didnÆt think,ö he said, looking away.

ôI'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I'll see you on Monday,ö were my
last words to him before I walked away from him.

And he walked away also, mumbling something about country music being
the music of pain.  I knew his pain was intense. I had known him my
entire life, and when he hurt, I hurt.  When he was happy, I was happy.
And when he was in pain, I was in pain.

And while I walked away from him, my body ached...my mind ached...my
soul ached.  I longed for a love that was so strong, yet so alone.  It
was my love for him...the love that had been looming inside of me for so
many years.

It was a sort of quiet love, one that goes untouched, unstirred.  A love
that was, in itÆs own way, an everlasting emotion that would always burn
inside of me.  It was a feeling that had become a part of me, vowing to
never disappear.  Destined to be everlasting...destined to be alone.

He and I were best friends.  An inseparable pair.  Our lives had been so
simple, so pure.  We lived in an in innocent world, filled with naive
and blindness.

And when she came along, that world fell apart.  It came tumbling down
around us...crumbling into fragments of a life once so close, yet now so
far away.  And all that was left was for me to pick up the remaining
pieces and keep them locked away safely in my memory.

DonÆt get me wrong---I loved her.......but so did he.  From the moment
his eyes laid upon her, he wanted her.  I would listen to him for hours
while he constantly talked about how wonderful she was. Her eyes.  Her
hair.  Her skin.  Her voice.  Her supreme greatness.  He wanted it all.

He wanted her.

So I was forced to take a back seat in his life while she rode shotgun.
Over the course of the year, his infatuation grew to immense
proportions, taking up his entire heart.

And I was left in the shadows, wondering if there was any room left for
me.

I pondered this constantly, worrying that I was no longer the most
important thing in his life.  I was desperate for his attention,
desperate for him to notice me, notice *my* supreme greatness.  It was
as if she was a bright star outshining everything in itÆs path.  She
outshines me.

She had become my best friend, but little did she know she had become my
worst enemy.  But I would never tell her this, for her heart meant to do
only good, never bad.  She didnÆt mean to make him fall in love with
her.  It just happened.  The extent of her feelings for him had never
reached farther than a purely platonic friendship. I suppose that is why
she rejected him.  Their friendship meant far to much to her to risk
losing it.

Through out all of this, one question still remained, burning in my
mind.  Why canÆt I be the one he loves?

IÆve been there for him through his good times and bad times.  I was the
shoulder he cried on.  I have been his support unit.  I know him better
than anyone.  Hell, I know him better than he knows himself.

And then, it happened.  She was destined to die one fateful night at the
end of the school year.  I remember when he learned that she was in
danger.  He immediately grew angry, cursing at Giles for letting her go.
He went from being calm to being freaked out, fearing that she would
die...fearing that he would lose her forever.  And so, he gallantly went
off to save her, like he was her White Night.  He bravely risked his
life for her.  He saved her from death.

Would he have done the same for me?

If my life were in danger, would he save me?  Would he risk his life for
me like he did for her?  I hope to God that he would.  Oh, I pray that
he would, for I would do it for him.  No questions asked.  If he was on
the brink of death, I would give my life for his.

And now, that the horrible night is over, and she has left for L.A., I
sit in my bedroom alone, thinking about the past year.  How much we have
all changed!  She has taught me to be more assertive...to stick up for
myself.  My self esteem has increased greatly since she entered my life,
and IÆm thankful that she is here.  If she werenÆt, IÆd be dead...and so
would everyone else in this damned town.  So I guess that she has done
more good for me than bad.  Sure, he loves her, but my consolation is
that she doesnÆt love him.

Yes, my feelings have been out of jealousy of her, and the thought of
Xander loving her make my skin crawl.  But maybe now that Buffy is going
to be gone all summer I can get over those feelings.  And maybe, just
maybe, Xander can get over his feelings too.  Perhaps there is hope for
him, and for me.  I can only pray for it to be true...that one day, he
steps out of her blinding light, and notices me.

Hopefully, that day will come soon.

The End


*Well?  Whadaya think?*








______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: recent mail
Date: 20 Apr 1998 20:06:54 +0000

I havent been getting much mail lately, and I realy enjoy ALL of the
storys!! so, in a nice way, Write more: )!!

    -Drusilla



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Broken Bonds (Part 3)
Date: 20 Apr 1998 21:04:17 -0400

Title:       Broken Bonds (Part 3)
Author:      Northlight
e-mail:      [e-mail]
Note:        Thanks to all who helped.
Summary:     Giles dissapears and bad things start to happen.
Disclaimer:  They aren't mine.



    "Excuse me?!" Buffy choked, staring increduously at the expressionless
man.  "I don't know who the hell you think you are-- but you most
definitely are not my Watcher!"

    Tyler smiled placatingly, the upward twist of his lips looking
unnatural on his stony face.  "I don't blame you for being somewhat...
surprised by this sudden change in events, Buffy.  I understand that you
are confused and rather shocked by this news, but you must understand
that I am your Watcher."

    "I only have one Watcher, and he isn't you!" Buffy growled menacingly.
'Who is this guy?' Buffy wondered as she tensed, her eyes narrowing into
dangerous slits.  'He obviously knows about my being the Slayer, and
about Giles being my Watcher... Who has that information?  Another one
of Giles' old acquaintances?  That doesn't matter.  Giles wouldn't just
leave without telling me, and I just don't trust this guy.  Way creepy.'

    "Calm down my dear girl," Tyler said.  "There really isn't any need for
violence."  He pulled out a chair and dropped down into it, looking up
at her with emotionless eyes.  "I assure that I, Nathaniel Tyler, am
your Watcher as of twelve-thirty this morning.  You need not worry.  It
is only a temporary arrangement.  Rupert received some distressing news
about his family last night, and he had to return to England immediately
to take care of business."

    Buffy wasn't convinced by Tyler's smooth explanation.  "Giles would
have told me that he had to leave."  That she was sure of.  Giles took
his duty to her seriously, and he wouldn't just abandon her like this
without any explanation.  That just wasn't him.

    "He would have told you," Tyler continued, easily overriding Buffy's
heated protest, "but he had no time.  The matters which called him home
required the utmost haste, but Rupert did call in and request the
presence of a substitute Watcher during his absence.  This being the
Hellmouth, he felt that it would be best that the Slayer did not go
without a Watcher."

    Buffy shook her head, stubbornly holding onto her belief in Giles'
certainty to inform her of any absence, no matter how extreme the
circumstances 'and I don't think Giles would agree on his replacement
being quite so... freaky.'

    Tyler evidentially saw that Buffy wasn't about to accept any
explanation that he had to offer.  He sighed impatiently, and pulled a
slim white envelope out of the pocket of his grey jacket.  "This is for
you, Buffy.  In it, Rupert explains everything."

    She grabbed the letter, her nail slitting in open within moments. 'Hey,
wait a minute--!'  Buffy glared down at Tyler, her voice coming out in a
low growl, "Giles didn't have enough time to call me, but he did have
long enough to write a letter, is that it?"

    An unreadable emotion flickered through the man's eyes, disappearing
before Buffy was even certain that it had been there.  "Just read the
letter," he commanded, his voice harsh towards her as Giles had never
been.

    Buffy withdrew the letter, smoothing out the crisp crease running down
the precise center of the paper.  Finally, she glanced down, taking in
the familiar sight of Giles writing.

Buffy,
    I am writing this letter now, so that you shall have some explanation
and reassurance should I leave you.  Though I doubt that there is
anything that would draw me away from my duties as your Watcher, I have
learned that it is best to prepare for the unexpected, especially on the
Hellmouth.  If I should ever have occasion to leave without first
speaking to you, this letter is meant to reassure you that you may trust
the Watcher sent to you in my absence fully.
                                Sincerely,
                                Rupert Giles

    'Nice,' Buffy thought, 'but I still don't buy it.  First my dreams, and
now Giles just disappears.  Whatever's going on here, it's not a
coincidence.'  She looked up from the letter to find Tyler's eyes
resting on her face, analyzing her reaction to the words before her.
Buffy fought back a shudder and offered a weak smile.

    'I still don't trust the guy, but I need time to figure out what's
happening here.  I guess I don't have much choice but to say that I
believe him.'

    She re-folded the letter, and tucked in back into the envelope, but did
not hand it back to Tyler.  "I'm sorry about that... Tyler," Buffy said
politely, her sweet tone surely would have shocked Giles, "it's just,
you know, this being the Hellmouth and all, I tend to get just a bit
suspicious.  But if Giles, trusts you, I'm sure that I can too."

    Tyler nodded, satisfied by her seeming acceptance of him.  "Wonderful!
I'm sure that you and I will get along spectacularly!" Though his words
were friendly, the man's voice remained cool.

    "Yeah... great," Buffy responded halfheartedly.  "But I gotta go now,
classes, you know?  I'll be back later though," she said, already moving
out of the doors.

    'But first I've got to have a talk with Willow and Xander about this
guy, and see what they think about this sudden turn of events.'

                        End Part 3



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Janine Sebastian <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Mission" (2/?)
Date: 21 Apr 1998 10:23:10 -0700 (PDT)

TITLE: "The Mission" (2/?)   or   "Santa Claus yelled at me!"
AUTHOR: Jeanie the Tortoise-Fly [Janine Sebastian]
E-MAIL: <[e-mail]>
DISTRIBUTION: Ask and ye shall receive.
SPOILERS: after "Killed By Death"...Isn't Ryan a cutie?
DISCLAIMER: None of the Buffy characters belong to me, they belong to
Joss Whedon and the WB etc.  No copyright infringement intended.  The
Doberman Pincher is being borrowed from Robyn's fluff piece, as John
could probably tell you.  Anya, Robyn, and Windrider are real
people...they have given me permission to include them in this fic.
They don't belong to anyone except themselves...though Anya has on
occasion claimed that the bank owns a piece of her...My parents and my
pets are real too but they don't get a say in this.  Jeanie is me.  No
one owns me as far as I know so there's no copyright infringement
there.  When I'm done, I promise that all of the characters will be
returned in one piece...even Windrider.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  This is far form serious or typical of a buffyfic...If
I had to classify it I'd say it's humor/desperation...My dad is
stalling and avoiding getting our house connected to the net.
Enjoy...or don't...it's up to you.  Feedback is muchly appreciated,
and I will use any flame mail to warm up my room [the floor is 1ft
underground, and surrounded by cement, so it's cold in here.]

*********************
     "Your dad?  He went out back a couple of hours ago.  I thought I
saw smoke over the fire pit so I assumed he was starting a bonfire..."
Jeanie's mom glanced out the window as she said this.  "Funny there's
no smoke now...Well I have to go to work.  Nice meeting you Willow and
Xander."

     With that, Mrs. Sebastian gathered her dinner [she was working
the night shift at Children's Hospital], her purse, and her coat.  She
attempted to kiss Jeanie goodbye, but Jeanie masterfully dodged the
kiss aimed at her forehead, by leaning down to calm her insistent dog
Kaila.  Through the whole scene Kaila was barking, Gandalf [the
Sebastian's other Keeshond] was getting exited thinking that Ruth was
going to take him for a walk, Xander was mesmerized, staring out the
window at two humming birds who were fighting over the feeder [they
didn't seem to realize there were *two* feeders], and Willow was
starting to show signs of paranoia due to the collection of frogs in
the Sebastian's house. [They collected frog memorabilia from miniature
toy frogs to froggy-banks to frog mugs.]  By the time Ruth had gone
out to her car, Willow was frantic.  Xander hadn't moved, his intent
gaze glued to the feuding hummers.

     Jeanie looked over at her *friends,* as her mother had called
them, and noticed the looks on their faces.  She decided to deal with
the simplest problem first.

     "Xander...they're just birds!  Snap out of it!"

     "But...they're so small..."

     "Xander they are humming birds.  They're supposed to be small.
Now Willow needs our help."  With that Jeanie turned to the young
hacker, who was now curled up on the floor in the fetal position,
screaming.

     "Frogs! Frogs! Ohh My God! The Frogs! Get them off me! Frogs!
Frogs!"  Kaila and Gandalf were licking Willow's face and hands,
unable to figure out what was wrong with her.

     "Willow!  It's all right they're fake.  See this is just a
toy...They're not real.  Willow?"

     Xander and Jeanie finally got Willow calmed down enough to
explain to her that all of the frogs in the house were fake.

     Once Willow was sitting on the couch, calmly sipping a nice hot
cup of tea, the three of them started to piece together all that must
have happened.  They figured that after Jeanie had gone through the
portal, her dad had accidentally stepped through it too.  This meant
Mr. Sebastian was probably loose in Sunnydale.  There was only one
thing to do...they had to go back to Sunnydale and find Jeanie's dad.

     Before they went out to the back yard where the Sliders-like gate
was, Jeanie insisted they dash into her room to grab her stashed bag
of sour berry candies.  While Jeanie searched for the bag [she had
hidden it better than she thought], Willow admired her surroundings.

     "Wow!  Think you've got enough stuffies?  Yikes!  Who are all
these people?"  Willow was now looking at one of the three large
bulletin boards which were nailed to two of the walls.  These
contained pictures carefully arranged, so as not to damage any, and
held on with multicolored thumbtacks.

    "Oooooh...Douglas Adams' "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the
Galaxy!"...and it's got pictures!  Cool!"  Xander of course was more
interested in the 'important stuff'.  He also noticed the large map of
Tolkien's Middle Earth which was pinned on another one of the walls.
Then just as Jeanie found the bag of candies hiding in her old Cello's
case, Xander and Willow realized there was something missing in the
room.

     "Um Jeanie?  Where's the bed?"  Jeanie pointed through what they
had thought was a closet doorway.  Inside was a bed which had Quixote
and Kira, her two cats, curled up on it.  "Ohh, nice kitties," was the
only response she got.

     With what they had come for, Jeanie, Xander and Willow proceeded
to go to the gate which was in the back yard.  Jeanie took out the
timer, pressed a button, and a blue portal appeared.  They jumped
through the portal and prepared to land in Sunnydale.  Jeanie landed
on a Doberman pincher which let out a pained yelp.  Willow landed on
an unmade bed with a soft thud.  Xander came flying out of the portal
and found himself laying on the ground staring at a pair of runners.
The owner of the runners helped Xander up and then went to extricate
Jeanie from the Doberman which had pinned her down by sitting on her
stomach and growling.  Once free of the dog Jeanie glanced up at her
rescuer, an almost sixteen year-old who had a peculiar white streak in
her light brown hair.

     "Robyn!  What?  Why're we in your room?  We're supposed to be in
Sunnydale!  My dad...we have to go find him..."  At this point Jeanie
gave up trying to make sense and resigned to sit in the swivel chair
by Robyn's desk.

     Robyn explained that the gate was new and she didn't understand
why it sometimes got it's destinations mixed up.  As Willow explained
that they were looking for Jeanie's dad, Robyn took the timer from
Jeanie and reprogrammed it for Sunnydale.

     "I'm coming with you.  That way if something happens to the timer
again I can fix it."  Robyn got no protestations from Willow or
Xander, and Jeanie was too busy chewing on a couple of sour berry
candies to say anything.

     And so the Three had become Four.  Robyn pressed a button on the
timer, and the four teenagers jumped through the portal that had just
appeared.

     Xander and Robyn both landed in a heap in the alley behind the
Bronze, narrowly missing a stray undead cat.  Willow landed on an
empty crate, while Jeanie landed on her feet.  Unfortunately Jeanie's
feet came to rest on the undead cat who was fleeing from the falling
objects.  So she tripped, and her fall was broken nicely by the heap
that was Xander and Robyn.

     Once they assembled themselves [after the ritual check for broken
bones etc.], they started for the Bronze.  Across the street they saw
Ryan, the little boy from the hospital during Buffy's stay, crying
with his head in his arms.

     "Ryan?  What's the matter?"  Trust Willow to act calmly in a
situation like this.

     "Santa Claus yelled at me...and he said 'Bah Humbug!'"  With
that, Ryan burst into another tearful fit.

     Jeanie looked at her friends and voiced:

      "Well, at least we know my dad has been here..."
***********************
...Will they find Jeanie's dad?  Or will the Vampires beat them to
it?...
...To Be Continued...

Note:  My dad does look a bit like Santa, especially when he lets his
beard grow.  Every time someone suggests that a good post-retirement
job for him would be as a mall Santa he replies "BAH HUMBUG!"

Feedback?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
{pleading puppy dog eyes}Pweeeeeese?!?!?!?!?!?!?

************************
"Did Norman Bates have a motive?  Did they ever figure out why
Hannibal Lector liked to eat people?  DON'T THINK SO!"
-Billy Loomis 'Scream'
************************
"If only there was a button somewhere that I could push to force me to
stop talking."
      --Claire Danes as Angela Chase on My So-Called Life
*************************





_________________________________________________________
DO YOU YAHOO!?
Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: sah <[e-mail]> (by way of sah <[e-mail]>)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: ADMIN:  List rules
Date: 21 Apr 1998 16:16:41 -0400 (EDT)

Welcome!  This list is for fiction related to "Buffy The Vampire
Slayer," both the TV series and the movie.  To ensure that we all get
to enjoy as much fiction as possible, please adhere to the following
guidelines, and please save them for future reference.

1. Fiction should have Buffy characters in it and clearly be related
to Buffy.  Crossovers are great, and expected, but general
vampire/monster stories that aren't in the Buffy universe and don't
use Buffy characters belong somewhere else.

2. Discussion of posted fiction is permitted onlist.  Please put
"DISCUSS" in your subject line.  Requests for missing story parts
should go directly to the author, and not be posted to the list.

Discussion that is not related directly to the fiction should go over
to the general Buffy list.  Discussion of fiction is expected to
follow common netiquette guidelines and use PG-13 language.

3. No advertising of <any> items or services, Buffy related or not,
and no posting of non-story items such as .gifs, sound files, etc..
No attached files of <any> kind-- if your mailer makes your fiction
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     **Mark the post as a "spoiler" in the subject header.
     **Leave about twelve lines (blank or with non-spoiler info) at
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This ensures that anyone who doesn't like knowing about an episode
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them a chance to see "spoiler" in the header.

Spoiler warnings are not necessary after the start of the episode's
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Eastern Standard Time.  Spoiler warnings are not necessary for reruns.

5.  This list is absolutely NOT for erotic fiction.  <Nothing> stronger
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If you have a question about something's suitability for posting, feel
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Again, welcome!  If  you have any questions about these rules, please
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 &
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[e-mail]
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"In front of me, facing me and the bank of journalists, was the Senate
Judiciary Committee:  Fourteen white men in dark grey suits."  Anita Hill





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (Part 8)
Date: 21 Apr 1998 18:07:12 -0700

For Disclaimers see part 1

A Stroke of Luck (part 8)


~ Or where you only try to trap me ~
~ These are the rules I make ~

    Willow awoke suddenly. She didn't even know she'd been asleep. Candles
were lit all around her, sending an eerie shiver down her spine.
    Looking around in the dim light she noticed that she'd been sleeping in
Drusilla's bedroom, her eyes immediately averted to the place she had
seen the holy water.
    But it was now gone.
    Frowning she went to get out of the bed, quickly becoming aware that
she was tucked under the covers.
    Willow blinked.
    Hadn't she thrown off the covers?
    Perhaps not.
    Willow pushed herself up so that she was sitting on the bed.
    Her eyes widened in near horror. She was wearing a white dress! A
long... Old looking... Antique... Dress... Which she had most definitely
had not been wearing hours before.
    A modest blush come over Willow, as she thought of the only way Spike
had gotten a dress on her.
    She wanted to run now! To get out of the bed, and run! But when she
went to stand up, she felt something next to her feet.
    No more surprises she begged.
    Looking over the covers, there sat, merely kicks away from being
dropped onto the floor a platter covered under a lid.
    Her stomach was aching from hunger, as she leaned down to look at it,
happy that her head was no longer spinning.
    Willow went to eagerly open up the cover, after not haven eaten since
she'd been kidnapped.
    But fear struck her. What if it wasn't food? A zillion things could be
hiding underneath a large lid like this.
    Her stomach growled, and she almost blushed...
    Willow looked around the room, as though she thought someone may be
watching her, but there was no-one.
    Willow bit her lip, unsure.
    Standing up, trying to avoid the tray
    She tried to walk to the door.
    Her feet wobbled unsteadily, the floor creaked beneath her and she
jumped, tripping herself in the process. She clung to the nearby door
for support.
    Brushing some stray hair from her face, she went to open it.
    "Of course" She hissed, as the knob didn't turn.
    Taking a large breath in she walked back to the bed with rage of being
locked up, in an abandoned warehouse, and threw open the cover of the
tray...
    There sat a large pizza, just sitting there.
    Willow laughed bitterly...
    But  fear struck her again, and she shut up..
    He could still be in the warehouse... listening... watching...
    "Buffy? Where are you?" She asked and laid her head down on the bed.
    Willow looked like a picture, a young maiden with hair pooled around
her face. A white dress spilling around her, crying in her antique
bed... Prisoner, to one of the most dangerous vampires she'd ever met.


--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Contemplation" (1/1)
Date: 22 Apr 1998 15:09:26 EDT

Okee. Hullo. :) This is my first posting since subbing to this list, like, two
days ago. Though I've written in the "Star Trek", "seaQuest" (both DSV and
2032) and "Kindred: The Embraced" universes, this is the first *finished*
piece of Buffy fic I've ever put up in a public forum. Also, this isn't even
the sort of story I usually do-- it's a sort of monologue. So if anyone has
any comments, I'd love to hear 'em, just drop me an e-mail. :)

All standard disclaimers apply, I just haven't been hanging out in this
universe long enough to know 'em by heart yet.

Please direct all comments to [e-mail] (that'd be me), and please do
not forward or redirect this story without my express permission. Let me know
if I messed up anywhere, kindly, please? Thank you. :)

~

                          "Contemplation"

    Yes, I'm Buffy Summers. I don't know why I'm here, no. My
mom dropped me off and said she'd be back in an hour. I don't
need a shrink. No, I'm not in deni-- That's a stupid joke, you
know that?
    She thinks I'm depressed. I've been quiet lately. No, I'm
not. How do I know I'm not? Because I'm...well, I'm not. I'm
driven. I'm able to focus easily onto one task and stick to it.
It's not reflected in my grades, no.
    So what's wrong with me, then?
    She thinks it must be boys. I broke up with my boyfriend a
few weeks ago. Yeah, it was messy. Not really. I miss him, but
it's not all-consuming or anything.
    I just wish I didn't have to see him all the time.
    No, we don't work together. No, we aren't classmates--
he's...not my age. He's a little older. College. I don't know.
Why _don't_ you believe me? I'm not lying. He's not my age. No,
he was a nice guy while we were dating. It's since then that he's
gotten...creepy.
    I don't see what business it is of yours! And no, I don't
want to sit down! I'm fine pacing, thank you very much.
Just...look, my mom'll be here in a while, why don't I just go
downstairs and wait for her. What do you mean, you can't _let_
me! Listen, buster, if you--
    That? From last week. I hopped a fence and scratched my arm.
God, what are you, nuts? No, I didn't try to slit my _wrists_,
Jesus! What's wrong with you? Well, there's nothing wrong with
_me_. I know that. Yes, I'm sure. Yeah. It's all paranoid fantasy
and delusion on the parts of the adults around me. Would you just
leave me alone? Alone. A-l-o-n-e. You're as bad as Willow and
Xander. They're friends of mine. Yes, Xander is his real name.
No, he's not my ex. You _are_ nosy, aren't you. You think I
_care_ that's what my mom's paying you for? I didn't ask her to
bring me here, you know.
    Leave me alone.
    I'm fine.
    It's none of your business.
    Leave me alone. How many times do I have to say it? You want
me to come up with some kind of delusional fantasy world so you
can diagnose me as nuts? Okay, then how's _this_?! My ex is a
vampire. He was before, too, but there were these Gypsies who
cursed him years and years ago so he'd have a soul, and we met
while I was slaying vampires. I'm the Slayer, you see. I kill
vampires. It's my fate. The reason I've been upset lately is
because two other vampires and my ex are trying to screw my life
up by killing my friends.
    That delusional enough for you? Huh? Is it?
    Jeez. Yeah. Okay, so I've been upset lately. But... No, I
don't know. I don't think so. Not really. I wish I didn't. Leave
me alone, would you? How much longer? Can't be. I've been here
half of forever so far. Fifteen minutes. Well, now it's
only another forty-five.
    God, would you just leave me alone...yeah, I'm going to sit
over here. And you know what, I'm not going to talk to you till I
damn well want to. I don't care if I never talk to you again, and
stop asking me those stupid questions. I won't answer them.
    How much longer? Thirty-seven minutes.
    How much longer? Thirty-two.
    I wasn't going to ask. I was going to blow my nose. Yeah.
I've had a cold.
    How much-- twenty two minutes. Thanks.
    How-- Ten? Okay.
    I'm getting my things together. What do you mean, I can't
yet? You can't boss me around, you know. No, not because I'm
going to slay you. I only do that with vampires.
    Face it, buddy. You wanted a nutcase, I can give you one.
No. I won't be back. If you want me to prove it, meet me in the
cemetery some time.
    Later.

End.

Copyright 1998
Rachel Brody



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "A Moment's Redemption" (3/3)
Date: 22 Apr 1998 19:52:58 EDT

     The first thing she was aware of was that she was alone.
Completely, utterly alone. The warmth that had been curled around
her for the night was gone, the bed was empty. And Buffy felt a
tremor shiver through her body as she slowly sat up.
     The now-dry blood on the pillow told her the night before
hadn't been a dream. When she ran her fingers through her hair,
dark red dust fell and affixed themselves to her fingertips. She
felt tears welling up in her eyes, and stood, moving to the
window, touching the shades just enough to move them so she could
see the sunlight that slipped in beneath them. *Oh, God...* she
thought, sinking to the floor and holding herself tightly,
leaning against the wall. *Angel...*
     But he was gone. If he hadn't been lying, and she was sure
he hadn't been, then he was gone and she might never see him,
never have him, never be with him again, she'd be alone the rest
of her life because after Angel who else could compare, and...
She felt a sob coming before it manifested, and she buried her
face deep in her arms to smother the cries.
     *Angel...* she thought again, her voice softer in her mind.
     She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, trying not
to feel, not to think, and failing miserably. She slowly pushed
herself up from the floor, making her way back to her bed and
collapsing into the pillows and the blood that was again mixing
with her tears.
     She almost didn't see the folded sheets of paper that
someone-- Angel-- had laid on the pillow next to her. Fumbling,
she picked them up and ran her finger over the lettering. The
note read, simply,

"Buffy"

     Her fingers couldn't unfold the paper fast enough. She read
the note aloud, her voice trembling.

     My love,
          It's nearly morning. The sun is going to rise in
     an hour, maybe two, and I don't have much time-- barely
     enough to write you this. I'm sorry. I was selfish. I
     shouldn't have come to you, because I know all I've
     done is make things harder for you. Please forgive me.
     I had to see you again, though, and the demon that
     controls me was willing to strike a deal, for one
     night. That night is almost over now, and I don't think
     I'll be able to hold onto myself for much longer. He's
     restless, and I can feel him inside me already, and I
     have to leave here before he takes over-- because I
     don't know what I might do if I lose control of myself
     with you nearby.
          Be strong, Buffy. I love you. I always will.
     You'll win this crusade, somehow, and one day we _will_
     be together again.
          I'm staring at your closet now, where you keep
     your stakes. Wondering if it might not be easier for
     you to wake up with nothing but a pile of ash and wood
     on your floor, but I don't think I could do that,
     either. This way, at least you've still got hope. That
     some day we'll be together again. Because we will. I
     promise you that.
          Despite that, I want you to know...if it ever
     comes to a point where your only option is to kill me,
     do it. You don't know what kind of life this is, to
     live inside something and know what's going on and have
      no power to control it. I'm still not sure why I was
     allowed to come back for this one night, and I'm not
     entirely sure what the price for tonight will be. So if
     anything happens and you need to kill me to defend
     yourself or any of your friends, know now that I would
     never hold it against you, and I would rather die my
     Final Death than to see harm come to you.
          I wanted to keep you safe. To protect you. I never
     thought I would hurt you as badly as I know I have.
          Your love, always,
                         Angel.
     By the time she reached the end of the letter, tears were
streaming down Buffy's cheeks. It was all she could do to keep
from blurring the letters on the page.
     It was a long time before she was able to put the paper down
and go about the business of recursing her home so Angelus
wouldn't be able to enter it again.

                       //Down, down, down.
              Will the fall never come to an end?//
          -October Project, "Sunday Morning Yellow Sky"

THE END

Copyright 1998
Rachel Brody

*All lyrics are by October Project, from their CD "Falling
Farther In", from Epic Records. They are used without the group's
permission.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Just a Little Revenge  (1/1)
Date: 22 Apr 1998 16:52:27 PDT

Author:  Sara B.  [e-mail]
Title:   Just a Little Revenge
Dsclmer: I don't own 'em!
Summary: This is just a little fic that takes place one
week after BB&B.
Feedback: Yes Please!

Just a little Revenge

ôOh, God...that was so sad,ö Willow Rosenburg sobbed, trying to control
her trembles as she walked down the dark road.

ôAll those people,ö Cordelia bawled, ôThey all died...*snif*...it was
all so...so tragic.ö  She wiped her eyes with her shirt sleeve, not
caring if her makeup ran down her face.

ôThat was the most beautiful and horrible thing I have ever seen,ö Buffy
wailed beside her two friends.  ôThat should never have happened, he
should never have died and left her!ö  She sniffled loudly and Willow
handed her a tissue from her pocket.  ôThanks,ö she cried, accepting it
gladly.

ôOh come on!ö  Xander Harris said, his annoyance more than obvious.
ôItÆs just a movie!ö

ôHow can you say that?ö  Willow scratchy voice said.  ôIt is not _just_
a movie!ö

Xander cocked his head.  ôIt is too _just_ a movie.  And not only that,
itÆs a movie that you have all seen four times, and yet you still sob
and wail and cry at the end!ö

ôHow could you not cry?  He died!ö  Buffy exclaimed through her tears.

ôSo?  How can you want to watch all that mushy stuff?ö  Xander said.

ôUgh, Xander, you are such a man,ö Cordelia said with disgust, while
clutching onto his arm as they walked down Rovello Drive.

ôGee, really?  I hadnÆt checked lately,ö he replied sarcastically.

ôBut how can you not go back and see it?  It is the best movie!  The
romance of Jack and Rose is so intense!ö  Buffy exclaimed, dreamy eyed
through her tears.  ôAnd Leonardo DiCaprio is so cute!ö

Willow sighed.  ôIsnÆt he?  And what about Billy Zane?  He has a
certain, Billyosity.ö

ôBillyosity?  Come on, Willow!  The guys a putz!  And that DiCaprio guy
is a pansy!ö  Xander exclaimed, disgusted.

ôA pansy?  He is NOT a pansy!ö  Cordelia fumed, slightly jabbing her
boyfriend in the ribs.

ôIs too!ö  He retorted.

ôYouÆre just jealous!ö  Buffy said defensively of the actor.

ôOh yeah?  Well what about Kate Winslet?  She is HOT!  And that nude
scene, whoa boy!  I could watch that over and over.  Ah, hell, just give
me the drawing!ö  Xander said, with a grin.

ôXander!  You are such a perv!ö  Willow said, and blew her nose on a
tissue.  ôThat was such a  romantic scene and your acting like all it
was--was a free chance to see a girl naked!ö

ôAnd is there anything wrong with that?ö  He asked.

ôOh yeah?  Well what if Leo had done a nude scene?ö  Buffy asked, her
face still damp from tears.

The look of disgust on XanderÆs face gave Buffy her answer.  ôThat would
NOT have been okay.ö

ôWhy not?ö  Willow questioned.

ôWell...well...just...um....just because!!!ö  He exclaimed.

ôOh, great answer,ö Cordelia said sarcastically.

ôWell anyway, the only cool part about the movie was when the ship went
down.  I mean, I laughed so hard when that guy fell and hit the
propeller--ö

ôXANDER!ö  All three girls yelled in unison.

ôAre you saying that æTitanicÆ had no emotional effect on you at all?ö
Buffy questioned.  ôYou didnÆt feel one thing when you watched fifteen
hundred people die?ö

ôWell, it had a little effect.  It..it was a little sad,ö he mumbled,
shoving his hands into his pockets.

ôOnly a little?ö  Cordelia asked.

ôOkay, it was really said.  But nothing to cry over!ö  Xander said
quickly.

ôSo youÆre telling us that you didnÆt once shed one little tear through
out the whole movie?ö  Willow asked, staring at him intently.

ôN..n..no!ö  He yelled, feeling his cheeks turn red.

ôOh really?  So who was that sniffling next to me, then?ö  Cordelia
questioned, arching an eyebrow.

ôI..I..uh...ö he stammered.  The three girls looked at him with knowing
expressions.  He sighed.  ôAll right!  So I did cry!  But only a
little!ö

ôSo the big macho guy admits it.  Alexander Harris cried during
æTitanicÆ,ö Buffy laughed, amused.

ôIÆm warning you, Slayer!  DonÆt tell anybody!ö  He growled.

ôOr what?  YouÆll hurt me?ö  She asked, pretending to be scared.  ôDonÆt
worry, Xander.  I wonÆt tell a single soul!  WouldnÆt want to bruise
your fragile male ego.ö

ôGood.  æCause you know, I have a rep to protect!ö  Xander said
defensively.

Cordelia snorted.  ôWhat rep?ö

ôDuh!  My rep as a stud,ö he said.

The three girls couldnÆt help but laugh.  ôThe only rep you have,
Harris, is being a geek!ö  Cordelia giggled.

Xander sported a hurt look.  ôThat was harsh!ö

ôOh, IÆm sorry,ö she apologized, giving him a pouty look.  ôCan you
forgive me?ö

ôYeah, I guess,ö he grumbled, his girlfriend squeezing his arm tighter
with a big grin on her face.  ôBut the movie is still nothing to get
worked up over.ö

ôWell I donÆt care what you think.  It was a tragic movie, and I love
it.  I think I could go back and see it again!ö  Buffy exclaimed, her
eyes twinkling.

ôYeah!  We should go tomorrow!ö  Willow squealed, a broad smile on her
face.

Xander groaned loudly.  ôNot again!ö

ôWell no one said _you_ had to go with us,ö Buffy said.  ôIÆll just ask
Angel if he wants to go.ö

ôAnd IÆll ask Oz,ö Willow said, her cheek growing slightly red at the
thought of asking him to go with her.

Cordelia gave her two friends a mischievous grin.  ôAnd I can ask Devon
if he wants to go.ö

XanderÆs eyes opened wide at the mention of her ex-boyfriend.  ôExcuse
me!  You are NOT going to go see _that_ movie with...with HIM!ö
Cordelia stifled her laugh.  ôI forbid it!ö

ôYou canÆt forbid me to do anything.  Besides, you wonÆt go with me, so
who is?ö  She questioned.

ôI...I donÆt know!  Ask...ask Giles or something!ö

ôGiles?ö  Buffy burst out laughing.  ôLike old stuffy Giles would go to
the movies with us!  Let alone go see æTitanic!Æö

ôBut--but----ö  Xander stuttered, knowing he was losing the battle.  ôOH
Fine!  IÆll go see æTitanicÆ again with you.ö

ôThank you,ö Cordelia said, kissing him on the cheek.

ôYeah, yeah,ö he muttered, annoyed at himself for giving in so easily.
ôBut it will be the _last_ time, you hear me?  The LAST.ö

ôFine, fine.  That last time.  Just as long as you go with me,ö Cordelia
grinned.

ôGee, Xander.  YouÆre such a nice guy!  Going to see a chick flick and
all,ö Willow teased.

ôYeah?  Well IÆd like too see you try to get Oz and Angel to go!  TheyÆd
rather be dead than go see that movie.ö

ôWell Angel doesnÆt have to worry about that cause heÆs already dead,
and Oz wouldnÆt mind,ö Buffy said, using one of XanderÆs jokes against
him.

ôDo you three like to gang up on me?  Do you get your jollies out of
it?ö  Xander asked.

ôItÆs just so easy to do,ö Buffy laughed as they reached her house.

ôAww...donÆt get so defensive!  We are just getting you back for that
little stunt you pulled last week,ö Willow said.  ôItÆs the perfect
punishment.

ôOh come on, guys!  I didnÆt know the spell wouldnÆt work!ö  He
exclaimed.

ôYeah, but you were stupid enough to do it!  And donÆt think that
watching æTitanicÆ over and over again is all the punishment you will
get,ö Cordelia said, walking into BuffyÆs house.

ôWhat do you mean by that?ö  Xander asked suspiciously.

ôOh just a little revenge,ö Willow said, and Cordelia led him up the
stairs with Buffy and Willow close behind.

**TEN MINUTES LATER**

ôI am NOT going out like this!ö  Xander shouted, staring at his
reflection in the mirror.

ôYou are too!ö  Willow exclaimed, her laugher ringing through out the
house.

ôYou canÆt make me!ö  He yelled.

ôMaybe we canÆt, but we can get proof,ö  Buffy snickered, pulling out
her Polaroid camera.

ôNO!  NO!  YOU CANÆT DO THIS TO ME!ö  He screeched, running out of her
room.

ôQuick!  Grab him!ö  Willow shouted, pulling on his skirt.  Buffy
grabbed his arm and pulled him back into her room.  Xander struggled but
Buffy was too strong and held him in place while Cordelia snapped the
thirty-six roll exposure film.

ôNoooooooo!ö  He wailed, but it was too late.  They had their evidence.

**NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL**

ôHow could you have done this to me?ö  Xander groaned, hiding behind the
large desk in the library.

ôHow could you ask Amy to cast a spell making every woman fall in love
with you?ö  Cordelia asked.

ôIT WAS AN ACCIDENT!ö  He yelled.  ôThe spell was only meant for you!!!ö

ôYeah, yeah,ö  Cordelia said, filing her nails.

Giles came bursting into the library.  ôMy God!  Have you seen those
pictures?  They are posted all around the school!ö

ôWHAT?!!ö  Xander screamed, and jumped up, banging his head on the desk.
ôTell me that isnÆt true!ö

Giles started to laugh.  ôSo that was you?ö

ôCordy!  You told me they would only be put on the library doors!ö

She smiled evily.  ôI did, didnÆt I?  Whoops!ö

ôI canÆt believe you did this to me!ö  He groaned, and went back to
hiding under the desk.

Giles walked over the Cordy.  ôIt worked,ö he whispered, and she grinned
widely at him.

ôI told you so,ö she said.

**IN THE HALLWAY**

In the hallway, a mob of students crowded around the 12x14 picture that
was taped to the trophy case.

ôCan you believe that?ö

ôI knew that guy was a pansy!ö

ôI thought he was rather cute, until now.ö

ôMan, whoever did this was definitely seeking the ultimate revenge.ö

ôI never knew he liked to wear womenÆs clothing!ö

ôLook at all that makeup on his face!ö

ôAnd that wig!ö

ôWhat a dork!ö

In the middle of the mob stood Buffy and Willow, admiring their handy
work.  The picture of was Xander, wearing JoyceÆs bright pink dress.
His curly, yellow wig contrasted the electric blue eye shadow and cherry
red lipstick that had been so carefully applied to his face.

ôLike I said,ö Willow grinned, ôjust a little revenge.ö


THE END








______________________________________________________
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "A Moment's Redemption" (2/3)
Date: 22 Apr 1998 19:52:54 EDT

See Part 1/3 for all the other stuff, this is the story!

~

     At home, curled up in her bed, Buffy let the tears come.
Sobs wracked her body as she tried again and again to tell
herself it hadn't mattered, that when the sun rose she would be
able to forget what had taken place tonight, and it wouldn't hurt
her anymore. She was shivering hard, her pillow already soaked
with tears and a pile of tissues slowly growing in her
wastebasket.
     That bastard. She had thought there might have been some
chance, however small, that Angel's soul would have been
reachable...but if it was, she knew he never would have let the
demon that controlled him say those things, make him feel this
way. And his performance had been so _convincing_. Not even
fighting back. The way he had just stared up at her, his eyes
wide and showing such pain and betrayal, had made her falter for
barely a second. She'd held herself together so she wouldn't show
him how badly he'd hurt her, but now all she could do was wish
she had been stupid and gullible enough to take him at his word.
To let him touch her, to let herself feel him close to her again.
     She was still crying when there was a light scratching sound
at her window.
     Taking a breath, she blew her nose and swiped at her tears,
then forced the emotion down and moved, as if enchanted, toward
the window. The spell broke itself the moment she laid eyes on
him. "No," she whispered softly.
     His eyes sought her out, burning through the glass, and he
motioned her to open the window.
     She did, putting her coldest glare. "Get--"
     "Buffy," he cut her off, and the way his voice sounded
wasn't quite natural-- wasn't what she'd have expected him to
sound like. "Let me talk. Please. Just...five minutes. If I can't
convince you in five minutes that _I'm not lying to you_...I'll
go."
     The part of her that was screaming at her to be a Slayer and
not a sniveling, lovesick child was buried beneath the rest, and
she nodded. "Five minutes."
     He took a deep breath, then swallowed and looked at her. His
voice shook when he spoke. "And now I don't even know where to
start," he said softly. Then he sighed. "I just...I want you to
know how sorry I am. How much I care for you."
     "You're not making any impressions," she snapped, wishing it
were the truth.
     "I'm not surprised. I've seen what he-- I've done to you, in
the memories... Buffy, I swear, one day I'll make sure the demon
is destroyed. I just don't know how, yet. Don't know how to make
it up to you." He took a quick breath. "I just want you to be
safe. And to remember that no matter what I may say, tomorrow or
afterward, I love you. Whatever part of me he can't control,
loves you. More than anything, than any_one_, I've known in over
two centuries. You're the first good thing that's happened to me.
You're the only person who ever made me feel human." He looked at
her unchanging expression for a long moment, taking another short
breath as red tears began to form in the corners of his eyes,
threatening to spill over. "You don't believe me, and I don't
blame you, but...I wish there was some way I could find to prove
it to you."
     As Buffy listened, she felt her own throat constricting,
even as she heard Angel's voice getting more and more shaky. She
looked at him, and was amazed to see the blood tears that were
slowly trickling down, across the smooth landscape of his skin.
She bit back the words that rose to her lips, knowing if she
spoke the Slayer in her would be buried once and for all
underneath the torn young woman who only wanted her love back,
and nothing else. She'd lose the battle that had begun the moment
she had realized the Angel she loved was gone.
     Angel's eyes left her, falling to the branches he was
balanced in so precariously. They lingered there a moment before
returning to her face. "You don't know how many nights I spent
sitting here, watching you sleep," he said softly. "Wishing I
could be in there, with you. Protecting you."
     Almost before she realized it had happened, something inside
Buffy broke. She didn't have the strength to resist anymore, and
the tears she'd been holding back till that moment flooded her
eyes and blurred her vision.
     It was in that moment that Angel leaned forward and kissed
her gently, then pulled away and whispered. "I won't ask to come
in. I know you don't want to have to re-curse your house so I
can't once I go back to being who I was, at sunrise." He
swallowed. "But...the porch. Please."
     Her lips still feeling the touch of his, Buffy nodded and
moved away from the window, then turned and ran down the steps,
glad her mother had gone out of town for the weekend. She
couldn't explain this to herself-- certainly, then, she couldn't
explain it to her mother.
     She fumbled with the lock for a few seconds before the door
let her push it open, then she stepped out into the night.
     From the shadows, stepped Angel. He stood in front of her
for a long moment, as though afraid that if he tried to touch
her, she'd crumble to dust in his hands. Finally, just when Buffy
felt there was no way she could stand it any longer, he reached
up and took her face in his hands, leaning down to affix his lips
to her own.
     They stood like that for too long for Buffy to keep track of
time. She was lost in him the moment they touched, as soon as
their lips closed on each other's and their tongues began to
cautiously, slowly move into each others' mouths. Nothing between
them was touching, except their lips, and Buffy's eyes fell shut
of their own accord as soon as he had touched her. Previously
separated, now they were one, together, two parts of one whole
and now joined for a few brief seconds that somehow stretched
into an eternity.
     There was something warm on her face-- and his was stained
with the blood from his tears. The tears themselves had mingled
with her own when they had been kissing, and now both were
stained with blood and salt and water.
     When she finally felt the slight sensation of him pulling
away, Buffy knew there was nothing she could doubt about his
story, now. He had been telling her the truth. And she hadn't
believed him.
     "Angel, I..."
     "Shh, love," he whispered, kissing her gently again. This
one didn't last nearly as long as the last, but it meant no less
than the one that had come before it. "I know."
     Feeling a sudden sob wrack her body, Buffy collapsed against
him, tears streaming down her face as they began to flow anew.
She couldn't let him go, couldn't let herself lose him again...
     "Shh, shhh," he said soothingly, his arms around her and his
hands stroking her back and hair gently. His cheek rested against
the top of her head, drinking in the scent of her hair, as she
cried in his arms. By the time she pulled away, there were stains
in her hair from Angel's tears.
     "I'm sorry," she whispered. Then she gave him a slight tug,
toward the doorway.
     "I can't," he said softly. "You can't invite me in or I'll--
"
     "I'll recurse it," she said, her voice still quiet and
shaking, tight from the tears that wouldn't cease. "Please. I'm
inviting you in."
                                *
     Angel swallowed, meeting her eyes-- and saw there only the
hard determination and longing he himself felt. Buffy gave his
arm another light pull, and he nodded, kissing her softly again.
"I love you," he said. "Always."
     She nodded, and they moved into the living room, up the
stairway, into her room. The door had barely shut when she kissed
him again. This time, there was more of a desperation in it than
before, and when he returned the kiss he felt the hunger both of
them were feeling, for one another. It had been weeks since they
had been able to be close to each other like this, and neither
knew when it would happen again-- and soon his hands were moving
under her shirt, and her fingers were working on the buttons of
his, and their lips seemed locked together.
     A sudden, crystal clear thought sprang into his mind. He
would hurt her if he did this. Worse than he had when he'd gone
back to being a vampire. Going to the Bronze, needing to see her-
- he'd been so selfish.
     He pulled away from her, suddenly. "Stop," he whispered.
     She drew back, staring at him in shock. He winced, feeling
his stomach twist and wondering if she was thinking again that it
all might have been a ruse-- Angelus doing his best to hurt her
in the guide of her lover.
     "What?" she asked. Only now her tone was guarded, cautious--
and completely incapable of hiding the fear and betrayal he must
have been instilling, deep in her heart.
     "I...don't want to hurt you," he whispered. "I don't know
what he'll do to you tomorrow if we do anything now."
     "He can't hurt me," she whispered, moving back toward him.
     It was all Angel could do not to give in. But he summoned
every piece of himself he could and hoped it would be enough.
Then he placed his hands on her shoulders and shook his head.
"No," he said. "That's not true. And he's hurt you too much
already." He leaned forward and kissed her lips softly, for just
a moment. Then he pulled away, but only enough so he could speak.
"I only want to be with you tonight. It may be the last few hours
we have together-- for a long time-- and I want to make sure
neither of us regrets a moment."
     She nodded, ever so slightly, and he smoothed her hair away
from her face. Then he drew her to him, and held her close,
trying to memorize every detail of her.
     The next hours were a blur of touching, kissing, being, on
both their parts-- and it wasn't until they finally curled around
each other on Buffy's bed that the Slayer fell fast asleep in
Angel's arms. He was left with only his thoughts to keep him
company, at that point, but by then the only thing he was aware
of was the weight of the woman he loved in his arms.

~

(More to come, comments and critiques appreciated.)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "A Moment's Redemption" (1/3)
Date: 22 Apr 1998 19:52:49 EDT

::evil grin:: Now...HERE's something more my speed. Mwahaha.

~

Acknowledgements: October Project, for their amazing songs. Sarah, for sitting
and letting me inflict the aforementioned amazing songs on her and then
putting up with me when I finished the story myself.

Notes: This is Angst fic. Evil-Angel-Fic (EAF) and Evil-Buffy-Fic (EBF) all in
one, neither of which acronyms has quite the same ring to it as "ELF", but ah
well, this isn't the seaQuest and I haven't seen a Lucas in Sunnydale, so
Buffy and Angel will have to suffice. There's a leetle bit've profanity. All
comments/crits please direct to me here ([e-mail]), 'cause I thrive
on them. :)

Disclaimer: BlahblahblahStandardDisclaimerAppliesblahblahblah...

Story time!

~

                     "A Moment's Redemption"

            //When the darkness falls like a curtain
            And the night ahead is long and uncertain
                              Dream
          Beyond the loss and the hope of redemption.//
          -October Project, "Sunday Morning Yellow Sky"

     "Willow."
     "Isn't this great, I mean, Oz says he just _found_ this
music--"
     "Willow," Buffy repeated, her voice shaking slightly.
     "And then earlier, he was--"
     "_Willow_!"
     This time, her friend stopped talking, and looked over at
her. "What, Buffy?"
     "Over there." The Slayer pointed toward the shadows, where a
tall, early-twenties young man had stepped out from the darkness
of the bar.
     Willow followed her friend's finger until her eyes met with
the same sight. "Omigod, is that..."
     Buffy nodded, standing and leaving her soda behind. "Yeah."
She stepped away from the table. "I'm gonna go figure out what's
going on."
     Willow nodded. "No blood baths at the Bronze. Yeah. Good
idea. Should I, um, like maybe go tell Xander--"
     Buffy glanced across the room to where Xander was flirting
with a couple of girls-- who looked utterly bored. "No."
     "Cordelia?"
     Cordelia was engaged in activities much the same as
Xander's, the difference being that the objects of her attentions
didn't look upset in the slightest. Buffy shook her head again.
"No, I'll be okay."
     Willow noddd, and Buffy left, approaching the vampire who
stood in the corner, motionless, yet watching her as she moved
toward him. She stopped several feet away. "Angel, what are you
doing here."
     She didn't know what he expected. Was this some sort of new
twist on the "let's hurt the Slayer" game he seemed to be playing
with more and more intensity these days?
     He was silent for a long few moments, then he swallowed. "I
need to talk to you," he said. "But not here."
     She almost laughed in his face at that. "What, you think I'm
just going to _leave_ with you?" She shook her head. "No." Then
her glare turned more dangerous. "And Angel, I have stakes with
me. So clear out. And don't hurt anybody."
     She moved to turn around, walk back to Willow and forget
this had ever happened, when Angel grabbed her by the wrist.
"Buffy, _please_! You don't understand. I'm...me again."
     She jerked around, tearing her arm away from him. "_What_?!
she snapped, her eyes turning hard to cover the wrenching
sensation she felt, deep within herself.
     He shook his head. "It's too hard to explain. I...made a
deal. With the demon inside me." He took a quick breath. "Because
I couldn't stand not being with you." There was a long pause.
"But I'm only like this for tonight. At sunrise--"
     "Shut up," she snapped. "Even for you, that's low."
     Then she turned and stalked back to Willow, leaving Angelus
behind herself.
     Willow had been watching the entire exchange, and Buffy
shook her head when it looked like her friend was going to
question her. "I can't talk about it," she said softly, feeling
her voice catch.
     "Buffy--"
     "No," she said. "Tell the guys I went home." She picked up
her jacket and pulled it on, then slipped out the door before
Willow could question her any further.
                                *
     "Get away from me," Buffy snapped, hearing the door of the
Bronze open and shut again behind her.
     "Buffy--"
     "Get _away_!" She was shaking with rage as she stalked away,
in the direction of her home. He had to hurry. Had to get there
as soon as she could. Why Angel hadn't attacked her already, she
didn't know-- but she was going to get away from him before she
had the chance to find out.
     She heard him behind her, following her, and bit back the
tears that found their way to the corners of her eyes. She would
_not_ cry in front of that-- that _monster_.
     She was walking quickly now, half-afraid he'd follow her.
Not wanting to have to look in his eyes if he tried to speak to
her again, because she knew all she'd be doing when she saw him
would be to search out the shred of him that might bit be lying
to her.
     Caught up in her thoughts, Buffy didn't even see him when he
stepped onto the sidewalk in front of her and she'd have run into
him if he hadn't spoken aloud, in that horrible, wonderfully
smooth voice of his, the voice that had alternately soothed and
haunted her.
     "Buffy, stop."
     She froze, taking a split second t to realize where he was,
his proximity to her. Her heartbeat quickened slightly, and she
fought to get it to slow back to normal.
     This was her Angel. Standing before her now, eyes locked
with hers. And she'd been right-- she was searching blindly and
stupidly for something, anything in his expression that would
tell her he had been sincere back at the Bronze, and he had his
soul back. But he was too good an actor for her to find the
chinks she knew had to be in his armor.
     "Buffy," he said again softly, and she could have sworn
there was a tear in the corner of his eye.
     She couldn't answer-- her throat had closed over and there
were no words she could find that would have expressed the sheer
depth of her fury and pain, the almost self-loathing she felt
when she saw him and realized how desperately she wished his
words were true.
     He was a monster, she told herself. He'd threatened Willow.
Killed Ms. Calendar. Killed who knew how many other innocents.
He'd been tormenting her since the moment he'd lost his soul. She
hated him. She had to.
     "I-- I need to talk to you," he whispered. He moved one hand
toward her cheek. "Buffy, you don't know how badly I need you..."
     She slapped his hand away, and he recoiled as though she'd
shoved a stake through his heart. "Don't touch me, you son of a
bitch," she hissed.
     "You don't understand!" he said. There was a brief, silent
moment before he spoke again. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt
you. I didn't know about the curse. That I'd lose my soul." A
pause. "Or you."
     Feeling something twist hard inside her gut, Buffy didn't
answer.
     So he kept talking. "There were a few minutes...I woke up
and realized...I couldn't understand what was going on and then
it was too late, and I had no way of telling you..."
     He swallowed hard, then moved to touch her again. This time,
though, Buffy didn't stop at dodging his hand.
     She delivered a quick kick to his throat, then followed with
a sharp blow to his stomach-- then she gasped in shock as he
didn't fight back and let her knock him to the ground. Now he was
staring up at her, motionless.
     Buffy didn't know how long they stayed like that, staring
into each others eyes. Neither spoke until Buffy took a quick
breath and hissed, to keep her voice from shaking, "Just stay the
hell away from me, you manipulative, soulless _bastard_."
     Then, before the tears in her eyes spilled over, and he
could see what he'd moved her to, she turned and ran away, as
quickly as she could.

~

(More to follow...)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: sarah <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: An Ode To Truth (1/?)
Date: 23 Apr 1998 13:51:24 -0400 (EDT)

Why, yes!  I'd love your comments!

An Ode to Truth
By Sarah Liz Gordy

Disclaimer: Not mine.  Props to Joss, cause he's the man with the
incredible imagination, and the Cranberries, for musical genius.  Like I
said, if you recognize it, tis'nt mine.  And Rachel, for listening to me
babble over pineapple and helping to flood my imagination with song.
Though, by the way, I found this one all on my own. Oh yea, it does
contain one or two swear words, so kiddies, close your eyes when you see
them.

I.

//Understand the things I say
Don't turn away from me...
Understand what I've become
It wasn't my design//
"Ode To My Family" - The Cranberries


"Buffy, come into the kitchen, please."

Closing the front door, she obligingly trekked to the back of the house
and settled into a chair.  "You're home early, Mom."

"Buffy, we need to talk."  Her mother turned from the sink and set down
her water glass.  Buffy missed the sadness in her eyes.

'She's completely calm.  It can't be that bad.'

"I'm not sure how to start this."

'Uh oh.'

"Buffy, you know I love you very much," Joyce began.

'Oh shit.'

"And I never want to do anything to compromise that love."

"Mom," Buffy interrupted, "is this about last week?"  She remembered that
fight.  It was one of the larger ones.  And Buffy was only through half of
her period of grounding for it.

"Not exactly.  It's about everything, Buffy.  I'm at my wits end."

'I can't believe she's this calm.  It's like she's going to tear into me,
but silently.  I think this is worse than last week.'

"Putting aside the fact that I never see you, and when I do you treat me
like an inconsequential fly on the wall, I'm worried.  I Buffy," she
looked drained.  "We've been around this same block so many times, I'm
beginning to think it's not you.  That maybe, somewhere I messed up."

Overcome with guilt, but not sure how to comfort her, Buffy just listened.

"I've been thinking about last summer.  Your father offered you a place to
stay, if every you wanted to.  I'm considering taking him up on his offer.
But I wanted to talk to you about it first."  Joyce put up a hand to stop
the flow of words she knew were coming.  Before you say anything, I want
you to know that this isn't simply a scare tactic.  I'm genuinely worried
about you here.  Maybe Sunnydale isn't for you.  Maybe I shouldn't have
taken you from your father, from LA."

"No Mom, I don't want to leave you, or Sunnydale.  It's just...
complicated."

"Make it simple."

She looked at her mother and tried to find the words.  Buffy had promised
her self long ago that she would never drag her mother down to her world.
At the time it was the perfect plan, but now?  'Kendra's parents knew who
she was,' she rationalized.  But that was, admittedly, a completely
different situation.  'But what about Angel?  Not telling Mom my real
nature would rank right up there with Angel not telling me about his.  Of
course, it wasn't a very pleasant situation she I *did* find out, but it
went beyond the Vampire/Slayer thing.  Oh, that was a big part, but there
was also the trust issue.  At the time Angel didn't trust me enough to
make the right decision.  He may have been right.  Perhaps I was right
holding out on Mom at first.  Neither of us was ready.  But now...'

"Okay."

Astounded at the prospect of compromise, Joyce nearly choked on her words.
"Excuse me?"

Continuing on as if she hadn't heard her mother exclamation, "But I don't
think I can do it in 25 words or less.  And it's probably a good thing
you're sitting down.  On second thought, come upstairs with me.  I have a
few things to show you."

Joyce followed her young daughter up the stairs, bewildered at not so much
her actions as the sudden confidence she'd not been privy to for years.

"Cop a squat.  I want you to give me your word that you'll let me say what
I have to say before you do anything."  Buffy waited expectantly until she
had her mother's response.

"Alright.  Well... um" Buffy looked at her watch.  Almost four hours till
sundown.  "Damn," she muttered.

"What?"

"It would be a lot easier to show you, but I can't just yet, but in a few
hours, I promise to prove what I'm about to claim."

"Alright, so claim."

"Okay.  Well, ya' know X-Files?  Well, they have a bunch of really weird
things on that show.  One of them is government conspiracy.  Well, you
don't believe all of the conspiracies they go after, but it makes you
realize that A) the government can do pretty much what ever they want, and
B) people are disgustingly easy to manipulate if you spin it right.  They
make you believe things that aren't true, and they cover up the truth with
convenience.

"You want to join the department of defense?

"You promised not to interrupt.  But no, I don't what to join the DOD.  I
want to stop covering up the truth with convenience.  I think you are
ready for it."

Joyce raised her eyebrows.

"Mom, do you believed in angels?

She was caught slightly off guard from the rapid subject change. "Of
course, dear."

"Then I suppose you believe in devils as well."

"I suppose..."

"Jesus exorcised a man inhabited by demons."

"Alright, I believe in demons.  Do you want to become a priest now?"

"No Mother," she replied patiently.  "Either way, it's not a matter of
becoming.  I am what I am.  I had no choice and I cannot change.  But
don't worry, I'm cool with that now."

Joyce looked at her child in askance.

Ignoring her mother's perception of the situation, she continued on.  "So,
you're cool with demons inhabiting people.  Okay.  New line of
questioning.  Do you believe that a person has a spirit, and that
something happens to that spirit after death?"

"Yes."

"Do you believe in ghosts?"

"Where is this leading to, please?"

"Mom, can you admit that, like government conspiracies, there's stuff out
there that not only can we not explain, but neither do we even realize
exist?"

"I suppose that makes sense." Joyce paused to consider.  "You're not
trying to tell me that you are a werewolf or something, are you?"
Laughing, "No Mom, I'm not even a vampire."

"Oh good.  That's one career choice I wouldn't approve of."

"You may still not approve  - give yourself time."

"What are you trying to tell me, Buffy?"

"Mom... Okay.  Throughout time, there have been demons.  Along side of the
demons, have been those who choose to fight them.  And for every
generation there has also been one girl who's had no choice - who was born
into a legacy that she kinda has to live.  I'm one of those girls."

"You fight demons," she said, her voice low and disbelieving."

"Yes."

"Any demons in particular?" she said smiling, thinking how strange her
daughter's sense of humor was.

Buffy opened her closet, but blocked the view with her body.  She brought
out a hand full of hewn stakes and tossed them on the bed next to her
mother.  "Vampires."

***

I know you all are *dying* to tell me what you think.  Come on, this is
the first fic I've ever posted!  You don't want to scar me for life, do
you?  Nah, I didn't think so.  And Rach... you *gotta* hear these songs...

Until the next part,

Sarah Liz


x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
x       x X-Phile,                                                      x
x sarah x   FoLC,                                                       x
x       x     and adamant believer in Angel's humanity                  x
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x(it's just taken a leave of absence) x x x x x






-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: sarah <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: An Ode To Truth (2/?)
Date: 23 Apr 1998 14:04:40 -0400 (EDT)

I'm back!  I still want your comments!
for disclaimer, see first part.

An Ode to Truth
By Sarah Liz Gordy

II.

//All the things you said to me today
Changed my perspective in every way
Those things come to mean
So much to me//
"Dreaming My Dreams" - The Cranberries

She couldn't believe she was here.  A cemetery.  At night.  Besides the
outstanding legal issues, it gave her the creeps in a way she did not want
to contemplate.  If she did, she might have had to admit that maybe it's
not just the wind at night.  Admit that her daughter wasn't just a really
accomplished lair.  Admit to Bela Lugosi and Boris Karlof that the only
reason she could watch them all those years ago, was because her mother
assured her that there were no such things as vampires.

    Buffy had told her what would happen after dark.  Not exactly
every gory detail, mind you, but enough so she'd get the gist.  Of course
even this little foray, assuming for a moment that Buffy was indeed a
Slayer (it still sounded strange to Joyce), did not explain everything.
Oh, the late nights, low grades, trouble with the principal, and missing
clothes (that she realized now where all at one point torn, shredded, or
caked with gore) were all covered.  However, it did not explain things
like her new boyfriend Angel.  Well, to a point it did If Joyce were in
Buffy's place, she could see that a boy her own age might be rather
immature.  And though Joyce didn't know the extent of Buffy's physical
prowess, if she fought off vampires, a single overzealous twenty-year-old
shouldn't be difficult.

    And then there was the whole mortality issue that Joyce didn't
particularly want to face at all.   Buffy hadn't said anything about it,
but if she'd been completely immune to vampires *that* would have been
mentioned.  Knowing that you may not live until the ripe old age of
thirty, well, it may not make you rush things, but Joyce understood why
Buffy lived everyday as if that day counted, really counted.  Considering
it, she understood so much more - she was so proud of her daughter.  At
the same time, pondering these things ripped her heart in two.  Knowing
that your daughter risks her life every single night, instead of doing
"normal" teenage things.  Knowing that one of these days, she won't come
home.  Or that after Buffy moves out on her own, that the phone will ring
one day, and you'll hear of her demise - a brutal death, to be sure.  And
that somewhere, there will be a monster with your daughter's blood, her
power, and her very essence coursing through his veins.  Or the worst
scenario of all.  That you simply will never hear from her again.  That
somewhere, there will be a demon with your daughter's stolen body, her
lilting voice, her grace, her mind, her memories, everything but her soul.
The strength of that vampire would be great.  The next Slayer might not be
able to exorcise the demon in time for the mass destruction that would
inevitable follow the christening of the curse'd one's new host.  She
dreaded the thought of having to bury her only child, but welcomed it far
more than the other option given.  So, she steeled herself to that
knowledge.  One day, she'll have to bury Buffy.  Unless she was buried
first.  But no, she wouldn't think of that right now.  Now she had to
concentrate on Buffy.  Even so, there were circumstances, two in fact,
which would necessitate someone else taking care of the body her daughter
would leave behind.  Who could she talk to?  What record was permanent
enough?  Permanent enough, that if the worst ever happened, someone might
know what to do with her ashes?  That is, if anyone paused enough to care
for a vampire demon that was once a young girl, loved by those around her.
Born into something not of her own choosing, she fulfilled her duties the
best that she could for as long as she could, protecting for as long as
her body would last, as long as her body did not betray her, for her will,
Joyce realized, never would.  Would a Slayer care that once, the vampire
she'd just slew was smart and caring and just a beautiful young girl?
Someone who loved and hated, laughed and cried, and tried to enjoy life
while she could, painfully aware of her own mortality, unlike the other
innocents of her age.  Would she stop, after all the vampire's history of
carnage, to say a prayer for a soul long departed?  Would she let her
Watcher advise her that once, long ago, there was someone who loved this
now vampire enough to wish a prayer said while her ashes scattered to the
fates, mixed with the dust an dirt and trod upon by immortal and mortal
alike?  Would they know that someone remembered, that someone cared?
Would she just slay the immortal body, forgetting that she herself could
end with such a fate - going out with neither a whisper nor a bang, but
just letting the candle burn?

Joyce was snapped from her musings by Buffy's head whipping around.  She
could see a dim outline of a large, probably male, form.  It slowly
approached from the shadows.  Her distant hope that there were no
monsters, no vampires, and no vampire slayers, faded.  Everything Buffy
said was true.  Who else would be walking in a graveyard at night?  Then
she heard the stranger speak.

"Buffy?"  The stranger, so intent on his subject and being wary in
general, he completely missed the other mortal standing aside, in the
shadows of a mausoleum.

Buffy, simply happy her mother was taking this all so well, and happy she
was out of the house, ran into the open arms of Angel.

He held on to her, stroking her hair.  "Buffy, you know you shouldn't be
out here.  If your mother catches you sneaking back in, you'll be in even
worse trouble."

Joyce smiled from her vantage point, hidden away.  'Maybe he's not *all*
bad.'

"I know, but..."

He didn't let her finish.  "I told you I would hunt for you.  I know how
much it means to you, but Sweetheart, I *am* capable of doing it."

"I know, but..."

A different, less cultured voice interrupted from somewhere across the
graveyard.  "There are no exceptions tonight, Slayer," he spat out, the
last word an insult.  "Our master bids us bring you this message of
greeting."

"Jeez," she did her best to sound disgusted.  "What epoch are you from?
Speak American!"  She did so love to get on their nerves.  A pissed
vampire was one who left himself vulnerable at some point. For his part,
the herald just glared.

"Yea, well, we're waiting," said Angel, standing behind and to the side of
Buffy.

"Since you feel that way, *turncoat*, you can have the message too.
Boys!"  Three lanky vampires with beyond ugly game faces emerged from
behind the speaker, across from Joyce.

Buffy and Angel each brought out a stake.  The vampires were standing
still one moment, and were almost flying the next - towards her.  Towards
Buffy and Angel, at any rate.  Her daughter seemed to ready herself,
calmly shifting into a fighting stance.  Angel, however, looked like a
tightly coiled spring.  A moment before the group of undead demons were
before the two, he sprung up with what sounded to Joyce like an inhuman
growl of anger.  'How is it,' she thought, 'that a kid like him is able to
fight these creatures.  Is he special like Buffy?  She had mentioned
something about those who hunted by choice.  Perhaps he is one of those.
That would certainly explain the attraction between the two.'  Joyce was
satisfied with the explanation and continued to watch as Buffy quickly
dispatched the three attacking her with the same stake.  She was quite
comfortable and assured with her logic regarding Angel until after he
finished off the single vampire that had attacked him.  Angel lounged on a
tombstone, waiting for Buffy, but not quite calm enough to erase his game
face.  It was then that Joyce screamed.

***

Well?


x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
x       x X-Phile,                                                      x
x sarah x   FoLC,                                                       x
x       x     and adamant believer in Angel's humanity                  x
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x(it's just taken a leave of absence) x x x x x





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Sara Barton" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Is there a difference?
Date: 23 Apr 1998 15:20:07 PDT

Is there a difference between the buffyfiction digest and the
buffyfiction list?

~Thanx~
*Sara*

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (Part 9)
Date: 23 Apr 1998 18:58:42 -0700

For Disclaimers see part 1

A Stroke of Luck (Part 9)


    He was listening to her tears. They were almost music to his ears, were
it not for the fact that he kept thinking Drusilla was the one in that
room crying.
    Twice he had almost gotten up to help her, to ease her pain. And twice
he had remembered that his    Dru was gone. It was the Slayers girl in that
room.
    He wondered what the Slayer was up to?
    Oh yes, she was off hiding in a hospital building with her dying
watcher, were he not dead yet, as Spike assumed.
    Eventually Buffy would notice her friend was missing though. She'd no
doubt put two and two together and come looking for him.
    Spike wasn't worried though he had full confidence in his fighting
abilities. The Slayer may be strong, but she was still mortal.

~~~~~

    "Hello? Ms. Rosenburg?" Buffy asked meekly
    "Yes?" The voice came over the phone
    "Yeah, it's uh, Buffy I was just... Umm... Wondering if Willow was
there?"
    "Willow? No, I thought she was with you!?" Willow's mother seemed
suddenly frightened. "She is with you isn't she?"
    "Umm.." Buffy thought about her choices.. Tell Willow's mom that she
thought Willow might have been kidnapped by vampires or.. "Oh! Yeah!
Gee, I think I just saw her with Xander!"
    There was a large sigh in relief over the other end.
    "I'm really sorry I bothered you." Buffy said and hung up the phone

    Buffy turned to Giles and Xander shaking her head "She not there..."
    "You don't think that Spike would try to hurt her do you?" Cordelia
asked
    "I mean sure you killed the only person he ever loved, while she was
defenseless to stop you, and right in front of him, but --"
    "Okay Cordelia" Xander said bobbing his head "I think we get it"
    Cordy gave a small humph.
    "I don't know, but Willow _is_ missing! And I don't plan on just
standing by waiting for her to turn up!"



--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (Part 10)
Date: 23 Apr 1998 18:59:20 -0700

For Disclaimers see part 1

A Stroke of Luck (part 10)


~ Our chains were meant to break ~
~ You'll never change me ~

    Rolling his eyes, Spike got up. The incessant sobbing hadn't been going
on long, nor was she crying loudly. It was more out of sheer boredom he
went into the room.
    When he entered, she didn't notice. Unsure of if he had purposely
sneaked in on her, or if she just wasn't paying enough attention. He
waited...
    Spike was taken back by the beauty she held, as she lay there wearing
Drusilla's dress. Her hair was dirty, and hung in strands, but the rest
of her... She was truly breath-taking.
    And when her tear-streaked face lifted to meet his, he was taken a
back.
    The vision of Drusilla was suddenly faded, and all he saw was her. Not
Willow as a mortal. But Willow as his mistress.
    But she looked fearful of him. Which immediately broke his reverie, he
hated fear, it brought out weakness.
    "Let me go" She asked in a small voice, as though a child who knew she
might not get her wish.
    Spike inhaled deeply and smiled, shaking his head.
    He moved to sit across from her.
    He watched her eyes for a minute as Willow tried to hide her fear of
dying, then ran his hand across the side of her head, and through her
hair.

    Willow held her breath as he touched her.
    And winced when he moved his hand over the bruise on the side of her
head.
    She shuddered in fear and closed her eyes, as though the shear act of
darkness would make the horror go away.

    Spike grabbed her hair and pulled back her head lightly, exposing her
throat.

    Willow whimpered, paralyzed in fear for a second. She had to shake the
thoughts out of her head, trying to pull away from him and jerk herself
free.     Spike's grip tightened, not as though it wasn't strong enough
before, but now, his grip on her was *too* strong, he wasn't going to
allow her to move at all.
    Willow felt her resolve slipping and she tried to push him off of her
again. It was no use.
    She could feel his cold breath at her neck and her body trembled.

    Spike had missed the pleasure of seeing others squirm more than he had
thought.
    A billion evil idea's were suddenly forming in his head.

    Willow's eyes opened, as she stared into the eyes of her murderer.
    And every evil thought, plot, idea, and image fell out of Spikes mind,
her reddened eyes, and white dress, red hair, and pale cheeks...

    Spike lifted himself off the bed and stepped away from her

    She was taken aback.

    Spike Smiled.
    Willow Frowned.

      There was a pause, as Spike stared at her,
      She could be Dru he thought again.

      A sob escaped her lips, but by the time Spike had pulled his
thoughts together to gaze into the mortals eyes, they were cold and
unfeeling again.

    Furry was suddenly beginning to grow inside of Willow. A strange sort
of madness at the knowledge that she was going to die. And with every
touch and every stare and every moment of silence it grew.
    Spike laughed and was about to comment when -
    "You can kill me and torture me all you want. It won't stop Buffy from
killing you."
    Spike's First thought was of how bold Willow was being, for one in her
position. Followed by a more thought out plan of
    "Who said I was going to kill you?"




--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (Part 11)
Date: 23 Apr 1998 19:05:58 -0700

For disclaimers see part 1

A Stroke of Luck (part 11)


    There was more silence.
    "What?" Willow gasped in shock.
    "you're worth far more alive than dead, love"
    Willow's heart began to sink for the billionth time in the past few
days.    She looked around the room, thinking about her life, her friends,
computers, school all the things that had seemed so important
before..... it all seemed pointless now and far away.
    Her mind followed her eyes to her reflection.
    Spike, now standing next to her did not appear in the long mirror
across from them. It gave her a false sense of hope, that she was not
trapped by some crazed monster.
    Her hand went to her mouth, as she stared at the beautiful stranger in
the mirror.
    And suddenly she understood.


~~~~~~


    Buffy was pacing again, the daylight was making her more and more
frustrated. And, as much as she hated to admit it, She needed help. If
she could only get to Willow she knew that she would be able to fight
off who-ever had  her, as long as she wasn't...
    No Buffy thought, Willow would be okay if she could just get to her in
time.
    Only one problem.
    Buffy was almost positive. More than positive. 99.9 percent sure that
the one who had captured Willow was Spike.
    Just the thought of him was enough to send shivers down her spine. She
knew she could fight him. It wouldn't be easy. But Buffy had full
confidence in her fighting abilities.
    But if he had...if he has Willow Buffy knew he won't stall when it
comes to killing her...
    There was no-way she could find him during the daylight. She couldn't
think of one other person who could help besides Angel.. Angel, who like
every other vampire in Sunnydale, couldn't go out during the day.
    Buffy Plopped into the chair, and yawned.
    She glanced at the clocked
    3:48
    She'd been awake for nearly 32 hours!
    Buffy shook her head to try to keep awake. It wasn't much good.
    She thought for a moment. What time did Xander say he'd be back?
    7:30
    That was a little after the sun came down.. She thought for a moment
and then decided the most rational thing to do was sleep. She would need
her full strength and energy if she was going to go up against Spike!


~~~~~~


~ Here comes the cold again ~
~ I feel it closing in ~

    Willow would pay for Buffy's crimes alright but in such the opposite
way than it had first appeared.
    He was behind her again. His cold hands pulling at her waist to rise
her up.
    Nearly paralyzed again with fear she obeyed his unsaid words and rose
up off of the bed.
    His mouth was at her neck again, Whispering words that she didn't hear.
That she couldn't listen to because the loud pounding of her heart made
was making her deaf, His cold breath made her knee's to go weak, and she
found herself collapsed under his support.
    'I'm not her' she wanted to cry out! 'let me go I'm not Drusilla!'
    But out of fear she remained silent.

    Spike had to help her stand, as Willow watched herself in the mirror
being picked up by an invisible man

      'Oh yeah, this is fun'. Spike thought as he lifted the mortal up.

    Willow starred into the mirror as Spike held her up.
    A few moments passed until Willow was even able to speak. And when she
was finally ready her words were almost unable to hear.
     "I'm not Drusilla" she stated.

    Spike smiled. No, she wasn't. He knew that, but a part of him wanted
her to be. The sick demented part he guessed. What had even inspired him
to dress her up in Dru's clothes? Did he want to feel close to his love
again? Or did he just want to have some fun until he killed the girl?

      "Don't worry, love. I don't expect you to fill her shoes. But I
really was hoping to get a bit more zest outta you."
    Willow looked like she actually went another shade lighter, as she
tried to stand on her own, hating the feel of Spike hands on her.
      "C'mon pet, you just found out your gonna live. Doesn't that make
you the least bit happy?"
      "No" She whispered her voice filled with despair. "No it doesn't
make me 'happy'"
      "Why's that?" Spike asked patiently "Would you rather be six feet
under the ground? Would being dead suit your fancy?"
      Willow's voice became a bit louder as anger flooded her sense.
"No" She said again.
      "What then?"
      "What would make me happy" Willow said staring at her reflection
in the mirror, unable to face Spike. "Is to be back home with my family,
and friends, to have my life back"
      Inside Spike smiled. Her anger gave her strength, he'd have to
remember that.
      "Have I taken your life?"
    Willow looked down afraid to answer that question.
      And Only when it became apparent that he was waiting for an answer
did answers flood her mind. Half telling her to say what he wanted hear,
half telling her to say what she wanted to say.
    She ended up with "Are you going to take my life?"

    Spike smiled. Three minutes of waiting in silence for her answer, and
this is what she comes up with.. He sighed, hadn't he already answered
this question?
    "No, love. We've already been through this."
    "Then your going to let me go?" Willow asked hopefully
    Only to see her hope crushed, as Spike's laughter filled the room
    "You've got to be kidding me." Spike rolled his eyes "And your supposed
to be the smart one?"
    Tears were nearing Willow's eyes, though she wouldn't let them fall.
"Then what?"



--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (Part 12)
Date: 23 Apr 1998 19:06:42 -0700

For disclaimers see Part 1


A Stroke of Luck (Part 12)


~ You're falling down and ~
~ All around me falling ~

    Spike smiled showing his teeth, which in turn caused Willow to gasp in
shock.
    His teeth came to large points. Each one looking like it's own razor.
    Willow shook her head in disbelief pleading with her eyes for him to
reconsider.
    She turned back to look in the mirror, and she knew that this was just
a game to him. Life or death to her. But to Spike it was just for fun,
just for fun because of how much he missed his Drusilla and how much he
hated Buffy.
      "Then I'm dead" she said dully.
    "Undead love." Spike corrected
    "Either way, I'm gone. Willow is gone"
    "Don't act so melodramatic," Spike laughed "I could've just left you
hanging in a cellar for the past days, and killed you, a little
gratitude is in order."
    "Gratitude?" Willow asked breathlessly
    Spike rolled his eyes, and began walking nearer to her.
    Willow backed away, with each of his steps forwards, until she hit the
bed.
    Spike stopped.
    "Don't act so afraid."
    "I don't want to be a vampire." She said.
    "That's nice." Spike said stepping closer again.
    Willow flung herself over the bed, and crawled to the opposite side as
Spike.
    "Oh C'mon Willow, your being childish, It'll only sting for a minute."
    Willow shook her head at the cocky smile on his face, and looked around
for a weapon of some sort, anything she could use against him.
    Spike slowly walked around the side of the bed towards her.
    "It's not like your gonna remember your life fondly anyways." Spike
continued. "Your not going to think back and wish for old times"

    If he was trying to calm her, it wasn't working. Willow had no
intention of becoming a crazed blood-sucker. She didn't want to be the
one causing all her friends pain.
    Spike was getting closer and she still didn't have a weapon. Grabbing
the first thing that came into her head she threw at him, and, of course
- that first thing just happened to be a pillow.
    Spike laughed, and was caught unaware at the next thing she threw at
him.
    It landed directly on his chest. Of course it didn't hurt him at all,
but left him disoriented as he grabbed the doll, and looked at it.

    He could still remembered the very first time he had met Dru. She was
so beautiful, and he was immediately charmed by her. She'd been carrying
the doll at the time, she had looked like a lost child. He soon came to
realize that she always carried that doll around. Fondly named Miss
Edith after her sister.
    When he had first met Drusilla she had never talked of her family, he'd
learned of them from Angelus, who was constantly tormenting her about
them.
    He'd killed her family off. Tortured every last one. He'd taken
everything that was precious to Dru. Her life, her family, her purity
and innocence... And even when she had nothing left for him to take, he
found something, and he took her soul.

    Spike was jarred back into reality when he was hit with a tray.
    He looked back at Willow as she grabbed another pillow and threw it at
him. Spike tossed the doll lightly on the bed and went to her.
    "Enough" He hissed. "Your not getting away from me Willow." Spike
continued softer "You know that." He stepped closer to her until they
were nearly an arms length away.
    Spike reached out his hand.
    Willow stared at it.
    There had to be someway out! Her mind screamed to her. Someway to
survive, but she was so tired inside. How was she supposed to defeat a
150 year old monster?
    'I'm so sorry Buffy' She said in her head 'I'm sorry I couldn't be
strong like you... for you.' She cast her eyes downwards.
    "Your right, Spike." She said softly, her voice sounding much older.
    She reached her hand out slowly. Until her hand rested gently in
Spikes.
    Spike pulled her to him.
    He could feel her determination fall and saw as her will to fight back
died in her eyes.
    He spun her around, and held her hand around her stomach. Trapping her
in, and holding her close to him. Using his other hand he pulled her
hair away from her neck.
    Willow inhaled deeply, waiting for him to bite her.
    He kissed her neck, "When you awake Willow." Spike began "you'll be a
new person."
    "When I awake" she said returned, titling her neck to the side, for
him.    "I'll be truly damned"

~ Stroke of luck or a gift from God? ~
~ Hand of fate or devil's claws? ~

    Spike grabbed her stomach much tighter, yanking him to her, and
knocking the breathe out of her.
    Willow gasped in shock, suddenly afraid.
    Spike leaned over her, and she could feel his smirk.
    Willow couldn't breathe, it hardly mattered. She knew this was just for
show but it didn't stop her nerves from shaking.
    Spike breathed on her neck for a minute, imitating the classic vampire
horror scene, and sank his fangs into her throat.

    Willow's eyes opened wide in shock, pain coursed all threw her body.
She should have known. The pain involved never even entered her mind,
she should have understood that having a set of sharp teeth in your neck
would hurt like hell..
      Willow tried to kick away from Spike, and hit him, he had both her
hands securely grasped, and she soon found herself writhing in pain,
tears streaming down her face. She tried to scream, but as the scream
reached her lips it was sucked away, with her blood.



--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (Part 13)
Date: 23 Apr 1998 19:07:34 -0700

For Disclaimers see part 1


A Stroke of Luck (part 13)


    Spike felt her pain, and tightened his grip around her waist. Her blood
was so sweet, it coursed through his veins singing, giving him strength.
    He felt her get weaker and weaker by the second. He was taking his
time, he knew he shouldn't. It wasn't that he wanted her to suffer..
well.. actually that's exactly what it was about. He wanted her to
suffer, he wanted the slayer to suffer.
    She was laying in his arms now, she had no strength to hold herself up.
His grip on her was so tight... it didn't matter though.
    Spike licked his lips.

~ From below or saints above? ~
~ You come to me now ~

    It was like a dream. She felt Spike loosen his grip, and she thought
for a second that she was going to fall.
    She felt so dizzy as he lifted her up, and it was like she was floating
when he gently laid her on the bed.
    "Your bloods so sweet, Willow" Spike said, as he caressed her cheek,
pushing away the stray hair.
    Willow couldn't think. She heard him talk, but his words were nothing
but gibberish. His hands on her, felt like weights pounding in her
skull, and she wanted to hit him away. But she had no energy to move.
    Spike smiled, looking down at her dying body. He knew she was conscious
though her eyes were closed, and she couldn't move.

    He stepped back for a moment and stood above her, and bit his wrist
with razor sharp fangs.
    He shuddered, always hating to do that, and gently laid his wrist over
Willow's mouth.

    She could smell his blood, and feel it as it hit her lips. She had no
strength though, no energy. And suddenly she felt hopeful. As though she
might die, and not become a hideous creature.
    But her instincts suddenly took her over. Her will to live, and it's
drive was strong.
    She managed to open her lips, as his energy poured into her mouth she
felt herself lose control and her instincts threw her at the source of
life.


~~~~~~


    "Buffy?" She heard her name being called. Buffy groaned at first not
wanting to get up from her slumber.
    "Buffy, it's Xander, C'mon wake up"
    Buffy was about to hit Xander for waking her when she remembered -
Willow.
    She had to get to Willow.
    Willow was in danger.
    Her eyes flew wide awake.
    "Willow" She whispered as her mind started thinking of places she may
be.
    Buffy jumped up, immediately glancing at the clock. Damn it, her mind
hissed. It was nearly 8:30.
    "I have to go" Buffy said, she was in one of her commanding moods the
others knew to well, but this time was different... "Stay here n the
hospital room, with Giles" She said and began to walk out of the room
    "Wait! Wait one second." It was Xander.. and he was getting his coat.
    "Xander." Buffy began "I don't have time for this."
    "I'm coming with you" He said bluntly
    "What about Giles?" Buffy said trying to create a diversion.
    "He's safe. He's in a hospital room, no-ones gonna hurt him"
    Buffy gave him the 'oh, didn't you hear, we live in Sunnydale and no
place is safe' look.
    "I'm either going with you or I'm going on my own." He said, looking
painfully serious.
    There was silence as Buffy considered her options.
    Xander was Willow's best friend. She knew that he would go, with or
without her permission... Turning around and grabbing her coat, the two
walked out the door, together


--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love's Revival (1/?)
Date: 23 Apr 1998 21:56:10 EDT

Title: Love's Revival (1/?)
Author: Michelle
Email Addy: [e-mail]
Rating: PG
Spoiler: All episodes up to Killed By Death
Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!
Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc.
The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine!
Sumary: Buffy and Angel cope with the thought of love between eachother while
Angel is still evil.  Buffy must face some old horrors as well as some new
ones.
IMPORTANT: Sequal to The Dark One Series. This story is explained as best
as I could to fill in the blanks but you have to read "The Dark One" to
understand it. You can check it out as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html

Love's Revival Part 1

       Buffy lay curled up in the corner of her room.  Her hair and
clothes were soaked, but she couldn't care less.  She had run home in
the pouring rain, Angel filling her every thought. Her once lover had
saved her from the deadliest creature on earth, and then had left
without a trace. 'Does he still love me?  Why would he save me? Is he
even capable of love?'
        The sound of the doorbell interrupted her deep concentration.
Buffy got up, put on a robe and made her way downstairs to answer the
door.
        "Buffy, you're hurt and wet. What happened?" Xander asked as
he pushed his way through the door.
        "Long story."
        "You're going to die of pneumonia if you don't get out of
those clothes."
        "Maybe," Buffy said distracted.
        "Buffy, you're starting to freak me out here. What happened?"
His voice was stronger and Buffy snapped out of her daze once again,
to realize she had no idea what he just said.
        "Come on, lets get you cleaned up," he said sincerely as he
peeled a few wet strands of hair away from her eyes.  He led her
upstairs and then called Willow to come over.
_____________

        "Buffy, are you sure you're okay?" Willow asked, looking at
Buffy's wounded face in the mirror.
        "Yeah, I'm better now." Buffy tucked her hair behind her ears
and opened the door.  Xander was waiting patiently out in the hall.
        "Hey. Feeling better?"
        "Much." Buffy forced a smile. "Come on, lets go get something
to eat."  The three walked down to the kitchen, Willow and Xander
keeping a close eye on Buffy. Xander grabbed some glasses from the
cabinet and a package of cheesy chips while Buffy perused the
refrigerator.  Her mom had been out of town again, and there wasn't
much food left.
        "Buffy..." Willow tried once more to get Buffy to tell them what
had happened.
        "Huh?" Buffy kept her head stuck in the refrigerator as she
searched for anything edible.
        Willow sighed, "What happened?"
        Buffy closed the door of the fridge and turned to face her
friend's worried faces.  "Angel. He...he saved me...from Savarah,"
her voice quivered, her body still cold.
        "Angel did that?" Xander couldn't believe his ears.
"Angelus, Angel?"
        "Yeah. I don't know why, or how. I was seconds away from a
long painful death and then...she's gone."
        "Do you know if she's gone for good?"
        "Well, if the prophecies are correct and the only way she can
die is to be killed by a vampire-" Buffy paused, trying
to understand all that had been going on.
        "Buffy..."
        "Yeah, I'm sure. She's gone."

End Part One. Send your feedback. I'll have parts 2 - 6 out soon!



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love's Revival (2/?)
Date: 23 Apr 1998 21:58:17 EDT

Title: Love's Revival (1/?)
Author: Michelle
Email Addy: [e-mail]
Rating: PG
Spoiler: All episodes up to Killed By Death
Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!
Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc.
The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine!
Sumary: Buffy and Angel cope with the thought of love between eachother
while Angel is still evil.  Buffy must face some old horrors as well as some
new ones.
IMPORTANT: Sequal to The Dark One Series. This story is explained as
best as I could to fill in the blanks but you have to read "The Dark One" to
understand it. You can check it out as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html

Love's Revival Part 1

        "Angel, you must eat something. Come with us, we can find you
someone young and sweet."
        "I'm not hungry, Dru!" Angel snapped and returned to his
thoughts.
        Dru's smile faded to a pout as she accepted his rejection.
"Spike, I'm worried about Angel. He's growing weak; he hasn't eaten for
days.
        "Don't be, my sweet. Angel's a big boy, he can handle himself.
Come now, we feed."  Spike led Dru out of the bedroom. They left the
warehouse with several vampire minions following.  Angel was sitting on
a chair in the corner of the room. He hadn't left that spot for days.
        "Dammit Savarah! Why her?" Angel asked aloud, knowing that no
one could hear him.

***********

        "Giles!" Willow screamed as she ran into the library.
        "What? What is it?" Giles came rushing out of his office,
startled by her yelling.
        "The new um..." Willow paused for a moment, realizing how
painful what she was about to say was going to be. 'No, stop. He has to
know. Buffy.  She needs this, she needs him.' Willow gathered all her
confidence and continued to speak nervously. "The new computer science
teacher found this when she was cleaning up. I checked it out. It's
Angel's curse," she said, handing him a small yellow disk.
        Giles was awestruck. His mind flashed between Jenny and Angel.
He closed his eyes as he tried to put her image out of his mind, but he
couldn't. It was too strong; their love was too strong.  "Cure? Are
you sure?"
        "Positive.  If what this says is right, all we need is an orb
of Thesaluh, and Angel."
        'Angel. That bastard killed Jenny. No!' Giles stopped his
accusations mid-thought. He knew it wasn't Angel. It was Angelus. He
also knew how easy it would be to blame Angel for what Angelus had done.





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love's Revival (3/?)
Date: 23 Apr 1998 22:28:44 EDT

Title: Love's Revival (3/?)
Author: Michelle
Email Addy: [e-mail]
Rating: PG
Spoiler: All episodes up to Killed By Death
Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!
Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc.
The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine!
Sumary: Buffy and Angel cope with the thought of love between eachother while
Angel is still evil.  Buffy must face some old horrors as well as some new
ones.
IMPORTANT: Sequal to The Dark One Series. This story is explained as best
as I could to fill in the blanks but you have to read "The Dark One" to
understand it. You can check it out as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html

Love's Revival Part 3

     "Buffy!" Giles walked down the stairs from the stacks. Buffy
entered the library, her friends trailing cautiously behind her.  She
knew that they had something to hide, and she was going to find
out what.
        "Giles, what's going on?  We had this talk a long time ago. No
keeping secrets!" Her voice grew harsh as she approached Giles.
        "Well, um, Buffy, we found something," Giles attempted to
explain.
        "About what?"
        "About Angel." Buffy could see the pain it caused him to even
mention his name.  Angel. She couldn't stop thinking about him.  His
eyes, his hair, his hands. The same hands he had used to kill Ms.
Calendar. The same hands that had held the bodies of all his helpless
victims.
        "What about him?" She asked, trying to sound angry for Giles'
sake.
        "We found a way to bring his soul back," Giles said painfully.
Buffy couldn't believe what he was saying; she didn't know whether to
be happy or angry. Angel was now two different people. One that she
loved, and one that she hated.  After he had killed Ms. Calendar,
she'd wanted him dead. He was going to die and there was nothing
stopping her from doing it- nothing but her love for him.  Buffy didn't
know how to handle this news; it was too much for her, after all that
had happened in the past week.
        "I gotta go," Buffy said, tears pooling up in her eyes.  She
ran out of the library leaving her friends standing in silence.
Everything had changed; Ms. Calendar's death, Savarah, Angel's cure-
it was too much for *all* of them to handle.

        "I'm sure Buffy will be alright.  You have to understand what
she's going through right now."
        "Yeah, but Giles, she's keeping this bottled up like she
always does," Xander said, concerned for Buffy.
        "I'll talk to her about it," Giles said placing a stack
of books on the table.
        "Thanks Giles," Willow said, trying unconvincingly to sound
reassured.
        "You two go to class. Tell Buffy I want to talk to her during
5th period. She's got a free; we'll talk about it then."
        "Okay. Come on lets go," Xander said, slightly tugging at
Willow's shirt.
        "Buffy!" Willow called as she spotted her across the quad.
        "Hey, guys!" Buffy said as she approached them with a smile.
        "Glad to see you're looking better," Xander said with a smile.
        "Yeah, I'm doing okay." Buffy was constantly thinking about
Angel. About Savarah.  She tried to hide the thoughts that plagued her,
but her friends knew better.
        "Oh, Buffy, I almost forgot. Giles said he wants to see you
during your free period."
        "Okay. Well, I've gotta get to Trig. Catch you later." Buffy
walked off, her face fading to a pale white as she suddenly felt sick
to her stomach.  She ignored it and continued on to class.

**********

        "Giles, look, I'm fine."
        "Buffy, you were nearly killed. Do I have to remind you of what
happened the last time?
        "I'm not going to make that mistake again. The last thing I
want to do is hurt my friends again.  I'm fine. Savarah is dead, I'm
alive, and everything is just fine."
        "Buffy, normally I would let you get away with that, but this
time it's not going to work.  Angelus saving you from near death has to
be tearing you apart.  Don't alienate your friends when you need them
the most."
        "Yeah, can I go now?"
        "Buffy, wh..."
        "I gotta go Giles, I'm not feeling very well."
        "Very well then. But we're not done here."
        "Yeah." Buffy said quietly as she rushed out of the library;
her stomach was churning. She snuck out of school and walked home.
She stumbled up the stairs, her whole body aching; but she had barely
made it to the top of the stairs before she collapsed, unconscious.

End Part 3. Please let me know what you think.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (14/?) by Ingrid
Date: 23 Apr 1998 22:55:33 -0400

Just a little not before I go on:

I realize that it's been quite a while since I sent out the last
part. April/May/June are fun months for me, and I have
dozens of things to do, so I can't make any guarantees
about the rest of the year. I'll *try.* I wrote this a long
while ago, and I thought I might as well send it before
it rots in my mailbox. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia,
Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property
of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions,
and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without
permission. The author claims no rights to these characters.

SUMMARY: Giles finally shows upàor does he?

Welcome to my story. It takes place ten years
into the future, but IÆm not telling you whatÆs happened in
advance. IÆm going to reveal that as time goes on in
the story. I love to get feedback, except when my
mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway!
My address is [e-mail]. If you donÆt get this,
thatÆs because you havenÆt read the other parts. If you want
to get this, ask me for them!

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Fourteen: "Uninvited Guest"
*********

Xander opened the door, expecting to be a buffer yet again.

Suddenly, he was everybodyÆs hero, and he wasnÆt so sure
he liked it.

What he was expecting, he couldnÆt say. Tired kind eyes behind
familiar spectacles. Instead, he saw only blackness beyond the door.
He turned the outside light on, but still all he saw were the bushes
and the snow-covered fountain lit up and far off.

One of the shadows moved.

"Hello?"

Nothing.

"Hello?"

"Xander." The voice froze him instantly. He didnÆt dare say it.

She looked up into the light and flinched. The curls sparkled like
rubies under it cascading into the darkness. Her blue eyes were
glistening with tears unshed, and the pink mouth was closed;
taught.

"Xander?"

She seemed to shake as she spoke. Every movement was tremulous
and agitated.

"Willow," he labeled her as a child labels the world around him.
He was waiting for a contradiction; a logical clarity that never came.

Instead, she turned her face away into the obscurity of the night and
said nothing.

"Willow?"

"Maybe this wasnÆt such a good idea."

"Howà"

"I donÆt know."

Suddenly bells went off in his head as he remembered the blur of
that dark night years ago. "Oh my God. No."

"Xander, I wouldnÆt have come here, but I think you could use
my help. Maybe I should go."

"No, Willà" He opened the door.

"You have to invite me in," she reminded him guiltily.

He backed away from the door slowly, not sure who to trust.
Sure, she looked like Willow, but hadnÆt Buffy been fooled
byà

"Xander?"

"Willow, how do I know that-"

She was quietly weeping on the porch now.

"I didnÆt meanà" He swallowed hard and looked back
at her eyes. Frightened. She probably could rip him to
shreds if she wanted to and she was frightened.

It had been his fault, and if she wasnÆt legit, this would
be his fault too.

But he opened the door and invited death in.

She waited for a moment and then stepped in slowly. She
looked cold and tired. Like sheÆd been running forever.
He almost jerked away from her as she was entering, but
held back with everything he had.

He was unprepared for her crushing embrace. She was
crying again now.

"IÆve missed you *so much*à"

He didnÆt know what to say, even when Cordelia came out
into the foyer.

"Willow," he whispered over the vampireÆs shoulder, and left
her to wonder.
***
END, PART 14

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: re; Is there a difference?
Date: 24 Apr 1998 14:32:20


--- On Thu, 23 Apr 1998 15:20:07 PDT  Sara Barton
<[e-mail]> wrote:

>Is there a difference between the buffyfiction digest
and the
>buffyfiction list?

I've often wondered that myself. Maybe it's a
collection of all Buffyfics sent in that day? I'd
really like to see my server manage to lose parts from
something like that! :)

Betzi





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: I have two questions...
Date: 24 Apr 1998 18:45:38 EDT

1. This one is about length. Say I have a chapter that's, say, ten pages long
on my word processor. When I save it to text and import it, that's a
lottalotta lines. How should I label the parts of the chapter, then, when I
break them into 250-line pieces? (Because the list guidelines say no more than
250 lines per post). Would something like:  (1a/20), (1b/20), etc, be
satisfactory? And if I were to do that, should it also say how many parts-of-
parts? So it would look like ([1a/a-d]/20, meaning "part one-a of parts one
thru d, of twenty"? Help! I have a long fic that I'm working on, but with the
way the chapters are they'll be longer than 250 lines and I'm stressing about
this!!!!

2. This one is a bit shorter. :) Being new to the list, I was just wondering
if you guys have ever tried doing a round-robin story or not, and if not, if
there's any interest in trying something like that, because I'd be willing to
coordinate it if there were.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From:    Sarah Douglas <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (8/14)
Date: 24 Apr 1998 18:57:56

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy or any of the other wonderful characters in
the Buffyverse.  I am using them without the permission of the people who
do own them who are not going to sue me because I am not making any money
off this.  Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kusui and Sandollar own the Buffy
characters.

DISTRIBUTION: Just ask.

RATING: Probably PG

FEEDBACK: I would love to know what you all think of this.  Please send me
feedback.  Pretty please.  <[e-mail]>

SUMMARY:  Okay, well this takes place while Ms. Calendar is still alive,
but Angel is evil, so probably Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.  It's
another "Angel gets his soul back" story which I wrote to convince myself
that Angel could be good again.  It's kind of long and I'm sorry about that
you all.

AUTHOR'S MESSAGE: Yes, yes, I know it's been a while, but you try living in
my world for a week and see how much fic you can put out.  Anyways, today
the thanks go out to Betzi for ego boosting.  Major props to Candy too.

On with the show

The Cure   (8/14)

Buffy arrived at the door and Willow opened it for her.

"How'd it go?" Willow asked.

"Okay, I did two quick stakes in the graveyard.  No Angel sightings," Buffy
replied as they headed downstairs.

"Buffy!  Did everything go alright?" Giles asked.

"Yeah, fine.  Didn't see Angel.  What's up here?"

"Well, I've been doing more research on Angel.  Nothing we don't already
know.  It's quite late Buffy.  You and Willow should turn in.  Everyone
else did.  Xander's in Ox's room, Cordelia's in the living room.  You and
Willow can sleep in there," Giles replied, picking up a different book.

"Giles, sleep.  We don't have a major crisis right this second.  Take the
opportunity to take a nap.  You need sleep too," Buffy told him.  Giles
smiled.

"I suppose you're right Buffy.  Let me look through another book or two.
Then I'll go to sleep."

"Promise?"

"Alright, I promise."

"Night, Giles."

"Goodnight Buffy, goodnight Willow.  Sleep well."

"Thanks Giles.  You too," Buffy headed back up the stairs.  Buffy quickly
charged into her PJs and got ready for bed.  She got into one of the
makeshift beds Oz had set up.  Willow turned to her.

"Buffy, are you really okay?"  Willow asked, concerned for her friend.

"Yeah I'm okay.  We're camping out at Oz's to protect us from Angel, who
switched to the other side because I made a big mistake.  Yeah, I'm just
great."

"Buffy, it's not your fault.  You didn't know it was going to happen.  I
know I've said it before, but it's true," Willow said, trying to comfort
Buffy.

"Thanks Will.  Hearing you say that kind of helps.  Now go to sleep.  You
need rest too."

"Okay.  Night Buffy."

"Night Willow."

*****************

Angel stormed back to the warehouse, Drucilla in tow.  He was not in a good
mood.  He hadn't found Willow.  He hadn't drained her of her blood.  He
didn't have a present for the slayer.

"Did you get the slayer something nice?  She's not going to fall apart
Angelus.  She's going to come after you with a stake and then POOF!  Angel
dust," Spike said when they came in.

"No, I didn't get her anything.  I couldn't find the perfect gift.  I don't
know what happened to her."

****************

Jenny woke up in a strange bed.  She got out of bed right away, eager to
know if they had the spell.  When she left the room, she saw Alice a little
way off.

"Alice," she called out.  Alice turned.

"Good morning Janna," Alice replied, waiting for Jenny to catch up to her.

"Is there any news?  Have they got the spell?" Jenny asked, eager and excited.

"The elderwoman said this morning that as soon as you woke up to bring you
to her.  Come with me," Alice said, leading Jenny along.

"In there," Alice pointed to a room.  Jenny smiled and went in.

"Ah, Janna, you are here.  We have some work to do.  By this evening, I
believe we will have the spell by tonight.  Very, ver soon Angel will have
his soul.  But now, there is work to be done."

****************


Buffy poured herself a cup of coffee.  She smiled at everyone.

"Ah, sunlight, our old friend," Buffy said, sipping her coffee.  Everyone
was sitting around the table.

"Guys, we need to pack up and move out.  Oz, can we work out of here
tonight?" Buffy asked.

"Sure, that's fine."

"Okay guys, move everything into the basement.  Try to keep everything as
inconspicuous as possible."

"Yes sir, general buffy sir!" Xander joked.  Buffy smiled.

"Okay troops, move out."

****************

Jenny's day passed in a sea of research and old books.  She, the elderwoman
and a few others of the tribe worked together, compiling magic.  Many old
Romani spells were brought out.  Long and careful work was carried out.
Finally, the elderwoman closed her book with a thud.

"We are finished.  We have the spell.  I will collect the necessary things.
 Janna, we will leave in the morning.  We will bring Alice, she had been
trained in magic.  Now Janna, go to sleep.  You will need much energy
tomorrow."

***************

At lunch, Buffy went to the library.

"Hey Giles."

"Hello Buffy.  How was your morning?"

"Okay.  Giles, am I strong enough?  Be honest with me, am I strong enough
to beat Angle.  Am I trained well enough?"  Giles looked slightly shocked
at the question.

"Buffy, I have nothing but respect and admiration for you talent at
fighting.  You have incredible skill.  In saying that, we really have not
done very much training.  I think that if you faced Angel now, you could
win.  It's probable that you would win, but it could be close.  Overall,
yes you're strong enough, you defeated the Master Buffy.  That's no small
feat.  Yes, you have the technical skill, but you have fought with Angel
and he knows how you fight," Giles replied.  Buffy looked at Giles.  She
thought for a few moments.  She rubbed her temples and walked around the
library.  Suddenly, she turned to Giles.

"Train me," she said, "I don't care how long it takes, I have to be able to
beat Angel."


End part 8

Alright, you've read the fic, now send the feedback to
<[e-mail]>



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jill Kirby <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: re; Is there a difference?
Date: 24 Apr 1998 21:16:34 -0500 (CDT)

Sara and Betzi wanted to know:
>>Is there a difference between the buffyfiction digest
>and the
>>buffyfiction list?

The digest version of the list collects the individual posts that are sent
to the list and sends them out when they reach a certain critical mass.
This is nice for people with small mailboxes-- they just get one (or a
couple more than one, if things are busy) post a day, rather than several
individual posts.

The content is exactly the same-- just formatted differently.

Jill
Jill Kirby ~~  [e-mail] ~~ www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/4107
               NatPack ~~ ABotCoS ~~ NP4 ~~ Dreamer/Minstrel




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Mark Jones" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: When?  (1/?)
Date: 26 Apr 1998 14:49:27 +0100

Could I please get feedback?  [e-mail]




Buffy sat there, cold and lonely. After all these painstakingly long hours,
just siting there doing nothing she was bored, lonely but most of all she
was upset.  The day had seemed to drag, she hadnÆt seen her friends for a
few hours but to her it felt like a lifetime.  She just lay back with her
head resting on a tombstone, waiting, she was beginning to think that it
wasnÆt worth it, no matter how happy he had made her before, he had no right
to make her stay and wait.
The sun was starting to set in the clear sky, giving that red-pink colour
that Buffy had loved so much, but that was then, then when her life felt
secure, she was happy.  But now she didnÆt know how she felt about anything,
especially not Angel.  Why had he wanted to meet her after all this time and
after everything that had happened, why did he want to meet her here, in the
graveyard?  But one thing troubled Buffy more than that was how had Angel
managed to make her agree to this?  She knew that she wouldnÆt, especially
not in a graveyard.  It was as if he had a power over her, she had wanted to
leave hours ago, but it was as if some invisible force prevented her, she
was stuck there until Angel decided he wanted to show up, no matter how much
she wanted to leave.





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Mark Jones" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: When?  (2/?)
Date: 26 Apr 1998 14:49:35 +0100

Feedback please!!  [e-mail]


She begun to doze, she couldnÆt keep her eyes open for much longer, she felt
them getting heavier and heavier, until they closed and Buffy was
transported to another world, the world of dreams where anything could
happen and where anything did.
Buffy felt herself floating high above everybody else, the world was calm
and relaxed, she could see everything in Sunnydale, the school, mall and all
of her friends, Xander, Cordelia and Willow, they all looked very worried,
she saw Giles approach them, he too was worried. but what about the dreaming
Buffy wondered, and more importantly, why didnÆt they tell her or ask for
her help?  Then, the peace was shattered and everyone rushed indoors,
shouting, ôItÆs a trap!  ItÆs a trap!ö  æWhatÆs a trap?  WhatÆs a trap?Æ
Wondered Buffy, she saw nothing out of the ordinary going on.  She wanted to
help them, but although she felt like she had all the power in the world and
could see everything, she tried and she had nothing, she was entirely
powerless.









-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Mark Jones" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: When?  (3/?)
Date: 26 Apr 1998 14:49:41 +0100

Feedback plese!!!  [e-mail]




Buffy awoke with a start, she was scared, what had happened to her friends?
what was going on? why had no-one told her?  She quickly got up and was
going to help, but then she realised, it had been a dream, and that no
matter how much she wanted to leave, she couldnÆt, Angel somehow was making
sure of that.  Her eyes started to focus on the surrounding area, and she
didnÆt like what she sawà She was surrounded, with no way out, now she knew
what the dream meant, this was a trap and she was powerless, how could she
escape?
ôAngel!ö she called out, her voice filled with alarm thinking that maybe
this was somekind of sick joke, no reply.  She grabbed her bag, ready to
kick some ass!  The vampires didnÆt move it was as if they were being forced
to stay like Buffy was, by some invisible force.  They all stood there,
drilling their evil eyes into Buffy while she circled around them, ready to
pounce.






-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Mark Jones" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: When?  (4/?)
Date: 26 Apr 1998 14:49:43 +0100

Feedback please!  [e-mail]



They didnÆt move, they began to make Buffy uneasy until one of them spokeà
ôSlayer, we know you wonÆt harm us!!!ö His voice was filled with confidence,
ôOh yeah,?ö  Buffy replied, her voice strong and firm ôSays who!?ö
ôSays usö  Came the reply, his voice filled with the same confidence as
before.
ôWhy shouldnÆt I kill you?ö  Buffy asked, her own confidence growing by the
second, she knew that they were just messing, trying to catch her off guard
and then they would attack, æWell not this timeÆ Buffy happily thought.
His reply came with even more confidence than before and he simply said
ôBecause, if you kill us, our master kills all of your friendsö
ôOh yeah?  And howÆs he going to do that then?  Take over the school!?!!ö
ôWhy yes, as a matter of fact he is!!  You _are_ good at this game arenÆt
you now!!  And just to make sure that you donÆt kill us, weÆve already
kidnapped a few of your friends, lets just call them our insurance, we die,
they die, Simple enough!!?!!ö







-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Broken Bonds (Part 4)
Date: 25 Apr 1998 13:32:35 -0400

Title:  Broken Bonds (Part 4)
Author:  Northlight
e-mail:  [e-mail]
Note:    Thanks to all who helped.
Summary:  Giles dissapears and bad things start to happen.
Disclaimer:  They don't belong to me.


    Buffy found Willow outside later that day.  The other girl was leaning
against a tree, her biology textbook balancing on her knees.  "Hey
Willow," Buffy said, dropping down next to her.

    Willow looked up from the book, a smile on her lips.  The smile faded a
moment later as she took in Buffy's worried expression.  "What's wrong?"

    "Where's Xander?" Buffy asked, "I'll tell you both together so I don't
have to go over everything again."

    "He's home with the flu," Willow answered absently, still focused on
Buffy's pale, drawn face.  "So tell me what happened?"

    Buffy sighed, rubbing at her aching eyes before answering Willow's
question.  "I'm not quite sure what happened.  I had one of my dreams
again, and then when I to talk to Giles this morning, he wasn't there."

    Willow's face mirrored Buffy's concern when she heard that.  'When is
Giles not here?' "Something happened to him?" she suggested uneasily.

    "I'm sure of it," Buffy answered with another sigh, "I'm just not sure
what... yet.  Anyway, Giles wasn't there, but some way freaky man was.
He said that his name's Nathaniel Tyler and that he's my new Watcher."
Her face darkened at the thought of the man she had met earlier that
day.  Even his name unnerved her.  "According to him, Giles took the
earliest flight he could back to England because of some emergency...
and apparently he had to leave so quickly that he couldn't be bothered
to tell me."

    "Giles wouldn't do that," Willow said, her voice certain.

    Buffy nodded.  "I know, Willow.  I don't trust Tyler, and my dreams are
telling me that something big is about to happen... but I just don't
know what to do.  I need Giles here to help me, but I have the awful
feeling that he's in as much trouble as I am."

    Willow looked at Buffy sympathetically.  It was times like these when
Willow knew that she wouldn't want to be Buffy for anything.  "I'm here
for you, Buffy.  And so's Xander.  Even if he has to drag himself out of
bed to get to you."

    Buffy smiled, accepting Willow's comfort.  "So, what do I do now,
Willow?  I know that something's wrong, but this isn't a problem that I
can just fight away."

    "I think," Willow began, letting her textbook snap shut, "that the best
thing that we can do for the moment is watch your new Watcher.  We'll
see if he does anything to confirm your suspicions.. and you might want
to talk to Angel and see if he has any ideas about what may be going
on."

    The mention of Buffy's favorite vampire had the desired effect, as the
Slayer's face lit up in eager anticipation.  "Yeah, I'm sure that Angel
will have some ideas."

    "Great.  We'll figure everything out.  Giles will come back, Tyler will
leave, and everything will go back to as normal as it ever is."

End Part 4



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From:    Sarah Douglas <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (9/14)
Date: 25 Apr 1998 16:30:54


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy or any of the other wonderful characters in
the Buffyverse.  I am using them without the permission of the people who
do own them who are not going to sue me because I am not making any money
off this.  Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kusui and Sandollar own the Buffy
characters.

DISTRIBUTION: Just ask.

RATING: Probably PG

FEEDBACK: I would love to know what you all think of this.  Please send me
feedback.  Pretty please.  <[e-mail]>

SUMMARY:  Okay, well this takes place while Ms. Calendar is still alive,
but Angel is evil, so probably Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.  It's
another "Angel gets his soul back" story which I wrote to convince myself
that Angel could be good again.  It's kind of long and I'm sorry about that
you all.

AUTHOR'S MESSAGE: hello all.  Yes that's right, another part this soon.
Wow, am I impressive or what?  Well, it's almost new Buffy ep time, so yay
everybody be happy.  I don't think I have anyone to dedicate this part to,
so hmmmm, Jeanie, I guess this one goes out to you.

On with the show

The Cure   (9/14)

Angel was too restless to sleep.  He kept pacing across the main room in
the warehouse.  He was very upset at not finding Willow.

Spike and Dru had gone to bed much earlier.  Dru had tried to convince
Angel to go to bed then.  He's just kept pacing, so she'd gone to bed.

All of the sudden, Angel fell to the ground in incredible pain and stayed
routed to the ground for several minutes.  Then it ended almost as quickly
as it began.

<<I wonder what that was?>>

***************

Buffy, Giles and the slayerettes set up at Oz's aging.

"Oz, is there anywhere Giles and I can train?"  Buffy asked.

"Oh sure, through that door," Oz pointed towards the other door at the
bottom of the stairs.  "My parents were going to turn it into a work out
room, but they never got around to it.  It's just an empty room, but it's
nicely carpeted."

"Cool, thanks," Buffy replied.

"The rest of you, should continue researching," Giles said.

"If anyone needs anything from home, go now and be back before sunset.
Cordelia, Zander, if you want to go home, please go before sunset," Buffy
added following Giles into the room.

"Well, I don't know about the rest of you people, but I'm going home.  I'm
just so sick of you people," Cordelia announced, picking up her bag.

"I'll walk you home Cordy," Xander offered.

"Thanks," Cordelia replied.

"I'll be back in a bit," Xander called to Willow and Oz, heading up the
stair after Cordelia.

"Well, I guess we should get to work," Willow said picking up a book.

"Willow, can I ask you something?" Oz asked.  Willow nodded in reply.  "How
long have you been doing this?"

"Basically since Buffy moved here last year."

"Does it ever get to you?  I mean, battling the undead on a daily basis,
knowing that they know you and they want you dead, watching person after
person die?" Oz asked.  Willow put her book down.

"A little at first.  I mean, when I first found out, Xander and I found out
at the same time, we were both like æyesterday our lives were like oh no,
pop quiz, and now it's like oh no vampires.'  It was weird at first,
because at the same time as we found out our friend Jesse got turned into a
vampire.  It was at the same time as the Harvest and Xander had to slay
him.  And some weird stuff has happened, but at the end of the day, it's
worth it because we help save the world," Willow replied and picked up her
book again.  Oz smiled at Willow.

<<She's amazing.  She's faced evil and danger and watched people die, but
she's still sweet and innocent.  And she's willing to keep doing it for her
friends.>>

Oz picked up a book and got to work.

***************

Buffy attacked Giles, kicking him squarely in the chest, knocking him off
balance.  She took advantage of her opening and threw him against the wall.
 She rushed forward and blocked him across the chest, grabbed her stake and
put it over his heart.

"One minute, twenty-eight seconds," Giles announced, stopping his
stop-watch.  Buffy smiled.

"Okay, that's good, I guess we can stop now.  I need a break anyways,"
Buffy said, picking up her water bottle.  She took a swig.

"Giles, should I slay him?  If I see Angel, should I slay him if I can?"
Buffy asked.  Giles took off his glasses and wiped them.

"Buffy, this isn't something I can just decide.  If you're fighting him,
your slayer instincts will take over, so if the time is right, you'll stake
him."

Buffy slowly nodded.  Then she smiled.

"You know that "slayer instincts" excuse must really be convenient," buffy
joked.

"I suppose that's true," Giles said, grinning.

"You cracked a smile.  Isn't that against some watcher rule?" Buffy
jokingly accused.

"Well, you're taking your slayer duties seriously.  It's a world gone mad,"
Giles said.  The slayer and the watcher laughed.

***************

Xander and Cordelia reached the door.

"Well, thanks for walking me home," Cordelia said.

"No problem," Xander replied.  He turned to go.

"Aren't you even going to kiss me goodbye?" Cordelia asked, her hands on
her hips.  Xander turned around, grabbed Cordelia and lowered his lips onto
her.

End part 9

Okay, now I know you all have an opinion, so e-mail it to me good, bad,
whatever.
[e-mail]



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From:    Sarah Douglas <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (10/14)
Date: 25 Apr 1998 16:34:54


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy or any of the other wonderful characters in
the Buffyverse.  I am using them without the permission of the people who
do own them who are not going to sue me because I am not making any money
off this.  Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kusui and Sandollar own the Buffy
characters.

DISTRIBUTION: Just ask.

RATING: Probably PG

FEEDBACK: I would love to know what you all think of this.  Please send me
feedback.  Pretty please.  <[e-mail]>

SUMMARY:  Okay, well this takes place while Ms. Calendar is still alive,
but Angel is evil, so probably Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.  It's
another "Angel gets his soul back" story which I wrote to convince myself
that Angel could be good again.  It's kind of long and I'm sorry about that
you all.

AUTHOR'S MESSAGE:Yes, that's right, another part.  I think that since I
have time now, that I should send in the parts while I have time.  Okay,
enjoy.

On with the show

The Cure   (10/14)

Angel sat at the table.  Dru approached him from behind.

"Did you go to bed at all last night, love?" Dru asked.

"Couldn't sleep."

"You think too much about the slayer."  Angel stayed silent.

"Come on now love, What's wrong?" Dru asked.

"I'm tired of being cooped up in this place.  I want to hunt," Angel
complained.  Dru sat down on his lap.

"Don't worry love.  Soon the sun will set and we'll hunt."

"Hey, hey, what's all this about?" Spike demanded.

Suddenly the vampire on watch burst in.

"The sun has set."

"Sorry, Spike old boy.  Explanations will have to wait for a later time.
I'm going to hunt.  Sorry you can't come with.  Coming Dru?" Angel asked.

"Coming.  Bye Spike," Dru replied.  She kissed Spike on the cheek and
hurried after Angel.

"That guy is really starting to piss me off."

***************
"Hey guys," Buffy said, marching in on Willow and Oz.  Buffy looked at
them.  "Where are Xander and Cordelia?"

"Cordelia wanted to go home so Xander walked her home," Willow explained.

"Xander's not back yet?" Buffy demanded.

"Yes, he is," Xander answered, walking in.

"Is Cordelia in her house?" Buffy asked

"Yeah."

"Then I'm going to patrol."

***************

Angel walked with a purpose.

"Where are we going?" Dru asked.  Angel stopped.

"Dru, I want you to go find yourself a meal.  I'm going to wait for Buffy
in the graveyard.  Go home when you're done.  I'll meet you there," Angel
said and walked off, leaving Dru behind.

Sometime that day, sitting racking his brain for where he could find
Willow, he decided that he wanted to fight Buffy.

Angel silently slipped into the graveyard.  He went to a dark corner, a
place he had lurked in times past.  Angel sat down in the corner and waited.

***************

Buffy walked out of Oz's house, today armed with stakes.  She wanted to do
some hand to hand combat tonight.  << I don't really want to hunt at the
graveyard tonight,>> she thought, but she was inexplicable drawn there.
She walked in a looked around.

In the back corner Angel saw her.  He stood slowly, careful not to make any
noise.

Buffy spotted a vampire and silently crept behind him, plunging the stake
into his back.  Angel took that opportunity to sneak up behind her.  Buffy
brushed the dust off her hands.

"One less demon walking the earth," Buffy said with satisfaction.

"You've still got me, lover," Angel said.  Buffy whirled around to face
him.  She looked a little startled.

"Did I scare you lover?  Oops, sorry,' Angel said, taunting her.  Buffy
took Angel off his guard by punching him square in the jaw.  Angel fell
backwards and Buffy delivered a roundhouse kick that hit Angel in the
chest.  Angel threw back a punch of his own, but Buffy blocked it quickly,
and ducked under his arm.  She kicked him in the back and he stumbled
forwards.  She attacked again, but this time Angel avoided her attack and
grabbed her by the arm and threw her a few feet.  Buffy scrambled to her
feet, but Angel was quick.  He grabbed her by the neck and pushed her
against a gravestone.

"What?  No pleasant small talk first tonight?  Did you have a bad day
lover?  I'll make it all better," Angel said, his game face appearing.
Angel lowered his fangs closer to buffy's neck.  Then, suddenly, Angel fell
to the ground, in agony.  Buffy was completely confused and a little
scared.  She hurried out of the cemetery.

***************

Giles sat in a chair reading one of the watcher diaries.  Willow and Oz
were doing homework and Xander was looking through on of Giles' books.

Buffy burst in and marched straight up to Giles.

"Giles, the weirdest thing just happened.  I was fighting with Angel and he
just fell to the ground, in pain.  What does it mean, Giles?" Buffy demanded.

"You were fighting with Angel and he just fell to the ground for no
apparent reason?  And he was in pain?  Is that right?" Giles asked in return.

"Yup, that pretty much sums it up," Buffy replied.

"Well, to be perfectly honest, I don't have the slightest idea."

"Knowledge man doesn't know what's going on.  Well, that's comforting,'
Xander said sarcastically.

"Well, there are any number of possibilities," Giles explained.  "We do,
after all, live on the Hellmouth.  It could have something to do with that,
or something that Buffy didn't see could have injured him.  I'll have to-"
"Consult my books," the slayer and slayerettes chimed in.

"Yes, quite.  Well, the rest of you ought to go get some sleep.  This isn't
urgent.  Go to bed," Giles said authoritatively.

"Okay, okay, we're going to bed.  Night Giles," Buffy said.

"Night G-man"

"Night Giles."

"Night Giles."

"Goodnight everyone," Giles said and picked up a book.

***************

Angel stumbled to his feet. <<What the hell is that and why does it keep
happening?>> Angel wondered.  He left the graveyard and started walking
toward the warehouse.  He saw a red haired girl in front of him.  He
grabbed her from behind and sunk his fangs into her neck before she could
scream.

After he drained her, he went into the warehouse.

"Hey Spike.  What's up?" Angel asked.

"Nothing, why do you ask?" Spike returned suspiciously.

"On your guard I see.  Oh well, maybe it's a smart idea.  Is Dru home?"

"Yeah, she got in about a half an hour ago.  I thought you two were going
out hunting together."

"I went to find the slayer.  I thought it would be best if Dru didn't come."

"Did you find her?"

"Yeah, we fought a while.  Nothing exciting."

"Look, when are you going to kill her already?  What's up with the fighting
and mind games?  You're just going to make her angry!"

"Whatever Spike, I'm going to bed." angel said and walked off.  Spike hung
back for a few moments, then followed.


End part 10

Okay, all feedback (and you will all send feedback) to [e-mail]



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Ever After (1/1)
Date: 25 Apr 1998 19:08:24 -0400

Title:      Ever After
Author:  Northlight
e-mail:  [e-mail]
Notes:    Unlike "Broken Bonds" this story has not been checked over
          by anyone else, so please excuse any spelling or
punctuation
          mistakes that I may have made.
Summary:      All that I can really say about it is that it involves
              Angelus and Buffy.
Disclaimer:   They aren't mine.



    She was running, her legs pumping and her heart pounding wildly. Hour
after hour of training allowed her to continue her frantic pace long
past the point where most people would have collapsed. Her long nights
patrolling the cemetery for newly awakened vampires also allowed her to
pass across the headstone spotted ground with relative ease.

    She hated herself for running.  'I'm the Slayer, dammit!  I fight
vampires!  I don't run!' And yet her pace didn't slow.  Her pride in her
ability and her disgust in her flight were nothing compared to the
insistent command of her survival instinct to run from this place.  Or,
more accurately, to run from the creature behind her.

    'It's just another vampire!' she scolded herself as she vaulted over an
overturned headstone.  But it wasn't.  The vampire that pursued her so
relentlessly was none other than Angelus.  'Angelus...' the name sent a
shudder racing through her straining body.

    Her flight was painfully cut short as her foot twisted in the loose
earth of a recently disturbed grave.  With a short, startled gasp, the
Slayer tumbled to the ground.  She fought the urge to give into her
aching body, and pulled herself to her knees.  It was far to late.

    Her accident had cost her precious time, and she knew that any chance
that she had of evading Angelus was gone.  'I am so dead.'  The thought
flittered through her mind, strangely unreal.

    The insistent tug on her Slayer's special awareness brought reality
sharply back into focus.  He was there, only feet away from her.  The
vampire looked at her through hooded eyes, a dangerous smile curving his
lips.

    Angelus sauntered towards her, his utter lack of concern about her
ability as a Slayer making the young woman ache to wipe the smug look
off of his face.  Unfortunately, she knew that wasn't about to happen.
Not willing to meet her death sprawled on the ground, she rose to her
feet, biting back a grunt as her twisted ankle strongly protested.

    He was in front of her, their bodies only inches apart.  She was
helpless.  Her supply of stakes had been spent on the horde of vampires
she had faced earlier that night.  Her cross had been lost the first
time she had evaded Angelus' grip.  And her body was exhausted from her
long night of battles and her desperate flight through the cemetery.

    'It wasn't supposed to end like this!  The good guys always win...'

    Angelus reached out towards her, and the Slayer couldn't surpress her
soft sob.  She didn't want to die.  Instead of wrapping around her neck
and snuffing out her life, the vampire's hand twined around the strands
of blonde hair that had escaped her ponytail.

    "Such pretty hair," Angelus said softly, rubbing the silky strands of
hair between his fingertips absently.

    That was not what she had expected to hear.  "What?!"

    Angelus smirked, amused by her obvious shock and the fear that his
causal words had heightened.  "I knew a Slayer once, she had such
beautiful blonde hair, just like yours."

    She tried to back away, not liking the vicious glint in his eyes.  But
Angelus' grip on her hair tightened, immobilizing her.  'Say some witty
Slayer type thing, and then beat him senseless.'

      "Uh... That's nice.  Can I go now?" she stammered.  'I said witty!
That wasn't witty!  Okay, no problem, I can just skip to the beating the
vampire up part.'  Beneath the knowing eyes of her captor, the second
part fizzled as easily as the first.

    "I can remember how her hair shone in the moonlight right before I
ripped her throat out."  He sighed sadly, "I was so hopping to hear her
scream, but all she did was gurgle.  Such high hopes gone to waste on
that girl... but I'm guessing that you can make up for some of that."

     A cool breeze brushed across the Slayer's pale, terrified face as
Angelus lowered his fangs towards her exposed neck with excruciating
slowness.

    "I don't think so, dear."  The voice was unexpected and filled with the
strength that lacked in the trembling Slayer's tone.

    Angelus' eyes widened in recognition, and the girl slipped from his
grasp.  Free of the vampire's strong hands, the Slayer bonelessly
dropped to the ground.

    "Buffy?!" Angelus hissed as he took in the sight of the woman who
casually stood among the headstones, a stake held with easy familiarity
in her hand.

    'Buffy?' the Slayer thought dully, searching for the reason that name
rung with such familiarity through her mind.  It took a minute for the
knowledge to permeate her foggy mind.  'Buffy!  She was the Slayer
before me!  The one that Angelus... The one that Angelus killed!'

    Buffy smiled coyly, "I'm happy to see you to, I have so missed you."

    "Your dead!" Angelus growled, "I killed you!"

    "Details." Buffy shrugged, "and really, Angelus, you should know how
unexpected things on the Hellmouth are."

    Angelus' eyes narrowed in hatred, and with a powerful thrust he
launched himself towards Buffy.  He would tear her apart.  Again.  And
this time, she'd stay dead.

    "What the--!?" Angelus gasped as his body passed through Buffy's
without resistance.  He rolled to his feet, and stared at her, his fangs
bared in warning.

    Buffy laughed.  "Getting slow in your old age, Angelus?  I'm already
dead.  Meaning, in case you're unable to grasp such a simple concept,
you can't hurt me."

    The enraged vampire paused a moment, and then he smiled.  "Maybe not,
Buffy, but that means you can't hurt me either.  So, there isn't
anything to stop me from having my little snack over there," he said
gesturing towards the wide eyed Slayer still slumped on the ground.
With renewed purpose, Angelus moved towards the Slayer again, ignoring
Buffy.

    That was a mistake.  With a single, almost casual, movement, the stake
Buffy held sliced through the vampire's shoulder.  Her smile widened as
Angelus howled in pain.  "I said that you can't hurt me, I never said
that it went the other way."

    Angelus' eyes rested on the new stake which had appeared in the
apparitions hand and with a curse he backed away.  "I'll be back to
finish this," he warned before fading into the shadows.

    "And I'll be waiting!" Buffy called out after him.  Business taken care
of, Buffy turned towards the girl who had succeeded her as Slayer.  "Are
you alright?  He didn't hurt you, did he?"

    The young Slayer gaped at Buffy, "your dead!"

    Buffy sighed.  "I know." Before the other girl could question her
further, Buffy continued, "I failed my friends, and I failed as a
Slayer.  The people I cared about died because I couldn't make myself
kill the monster who wore the face of the man that I loved.  But Giles,
my Watcher, instilled a strong sense of duty in me, and when my body
died, my spirit remained.  So, we stayed here in Sunnydale to watch over
and protect the people from Angelus."

    "We?"

    Buffy nodded, a joyful smile spreading over her face. "We," she
confirmed, gesturing towards a second apparition among the headstones.

    The Slayer could clearly see the undeniably human face of Angelus on
the figure.  But his eyes were warm and loving as he looked towards
them, and the girl knew that with him, she was safe.  "Angel?" she
asked, remembering what her Watcher had told her of the vampire with a
soul.

    "Yes," Buffy stated simply, love shinning in her eyes as turned towards
him.  Buffy drifted towards Angel, her hand twinning in his.  She
glanced back towards the Slayer who had risen to her feet and smiled
warmly, "don't worry about anything.  We'll be here to help you."

    The Slayer nodded mutely, and watched in awe as the two figures faded
away, a slight breeze marking their passage.

The End



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Broken Bonds (Part 5)
Date: 26 Apr 1998 12:02:52 -0400

Title:       Broken Bonds (Part 5)
Author:      Northlight
e-mail:      [e-mail]
Note:        Thanks to those who helped.
Summary:     Giles dissapears and bad things start to happen.
Disclaimer:  They aren't mine.


    "Rupert?!" The Watcher's name was emitted as a startled gasp, and the
man who had spoken fell back a step in surprise.

    "Simon," Giles nodded towards the unmoving man at the door.  Seeing
that Simon was not about to move from his stunned spot just inside the
door, Giles sighed.  "May I come in, Simon?"

    Simon blinked, as if trying to rid himself of an unwelcome sight.
Seeing that Giles was indeed standing on his front door step and wasn't
about to move, Simon pulled the door open.  He gestured for Giles to
enter, a pained expression on his broad face.  "Of course, come in."

    The two men remained silent as Simon led Giles into the bright, airy
kitchen at the back of the house.  Simon glanced out the window
nervously as Giles seated himself, and quickly drew the curtains shut.

    "Why are you here, Rupert?" Simon demanded as he turned to face the
Watcher.

    Giles massaged his temples, trying to ease the pounding headache that
threatened to erupt at any moment.  "I need your help," he stated
simply.

    Simon winced.  "Rupert, you know I'd help you if I could, but it just
isn't possible," his voice pleading for understanding.

    'I hate to do this to him' Giles thought guiltily, 'but I have no other
choice.  I can't spend any more days as I did today. If my days are
merely spent trying to avoid detection, I may as well have let them take
me last night'.

    "You know that I wouldn't have come here if I didn't have good reason,
Simon."

    The man shook his head determinedly, "I can't!  I won't!" his
frightened brown eyes rested on Giles.  "I'm not a part of any of this
any more, Rupert.  I left home to avoid any more conflicts!  I have a
wife now, and a baby daughter.  I'm not going to risk their lives by
helping you!"

    'He always knew that this would happen... if only we had listened.'
"They are as good as dead if you don't help me, you know that." Giles
didn't like using the man's family against him, but he was desperate for
any help that Simon could offer.

    "Damn you, Rupert," Simon cursed softly as he dropped down into a chair
across from him.  His eyes closed tightly as he struggled for
composure.  When they opened again, his face was resigned.

    "You'll help?"

    "I'll help," Simon responded unhappily.  "What do you need from me?"

    Giles quickly ran over the list in his mind.  "I need some money since
I can't risk withdrawing any myself.  I also need some less conspicuous
clothing, it is unfortunate that tweed isn't what I would call common
here."

    Simon nodded as Giles fell silent.  "There's something else, isn't
there?"

    Giles nodded and Simon sighed.  "I'd like you to get in touch with your
contacts and see what help they can offer.  Or if they can at least
offer any further information."

    "I'll do what I can, but I can't promise anything.  Once news of this
gets out, not many people will be sticking around," Simon answered
solemnly.  He didn't want to do this, but now that Giles had drawn him
into it, Simon silently vowed that he would do his best.  Simon
hesitated a moment before giving into the need to know why Giles was
doing this, "Rupert, why?  Why are you doing this?  Of all the people to
be going up against this power, I wouldn't have guessed that it would be
you."

    Giles didn't hesitate in his answer.  "Because I will not allow anyone
to threaten my Slayer."

                    End Part 5



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From:    Sarah Douglas <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (11/14)
Date: 26 Apr 1998 11:34:04

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy or any of the other wonderful characters in
the Buffyverse.  I am using them without the permission of the people who
do own them who are not going to sue me because I am not making any money
off this.  Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kusui and Sandollar own the Buffy
characters.

DISTRIBUTION: Just ask.

RATING: Probably PG

FEEDBACK: I would love to know what you all think of this.  Please send me
feedback.  Pretty please.  <[e-mail]>

SUMMARY:  Okay, well this takes place while Ms. Calendar is still alive,
but Angel is evil, so probably Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.  It's
another "Angel gets his soul back" story which I wrote to convince myself
that Angel could be good again.  It's kind of long and I'm sorry about that
you all.

AUTHOR'S MESSAGE:  We're getting very near the end now folks.  Just a few
more parts which I promise to send soon.  Okay, enough with the chatter.

On with the show

The Cure (11/14)

"Wake up Janna," the elderwoman said, shaking her out of bed.  Jenny rubbed
her eyes and got out of bed.  Jenny rubbed her eyes and got out of bed.

"Get dressed quickly Janna.  We must hurry," the elderwoman informed her
and left the room.

Jenny pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.  She stuffed the things she
had brought into her bag.  She did a quick double check and headed out.

"Oh hi Janna.  Ready to go?" Alice asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Janna replied.  The elderwoman joined them.
Jenny glanced at her watch.  "Wow, it's only six a.m.  I'll be in time to
teach my classes.  Why don't I drop you two off at my place, I'll teach my
classes and I'll let Giles know about re-cursing Angel?"

"That is probably good Janna.  You must know something about this curse
first.  As a result of the first curse, Angel will, for a time, experience
brief times of incredible pain.  Our curse will only work if he is still
experiencing those pains."

"Well, I'll ask Giles about it.  Let's just get going," Jenny said feeling
a little impatient.  The elderwoman consented and the three of them got in
Jenny's car.  Jenny felt relieved when she turned the key and started driving.

<<Here we go.>>

***************

Buffy awoke to the sound of an alarm clock buzzing.

"Arrrggghhh," Buffy moaned, propping herself up on her elbows.

"Good morning Buffy," Willow said cheerfully.  Buffy dragged herself out of
her makeshift bed.

"I'm going to take a shower," Buffy said.  Willow headed down to the
kitchen.  She entered the kitchen and saw Oz sitting at the kitchen table.

"Morning Willow," Oz said.  Willow sat next to him and he kissed her on the
nose.

"What was that for?" Willow asked.

"Just for being Willow," Oz replied, putting his arm around her.

Thirty minutes later everyone was piled into Giles' car, driving to school.
 They pulled into Giles' parking spot and headed for the library.

Buffy opened the door to the library and everyone followed her.  Everyone
dropped their stuff and sat in their usual spots.

"Giles, what's up with Angel?  The pain thing?" Buffy asked.

"Well, I did research it last night.  Unfortunately, it proved fruitless,"
Giles replied.

"Giles, you've got to stop using so many words.  You could have just said
you didn't find anything?" Xander asked.

"Yes, well, I suggest we continue researching before class," Giles
suggested.  Everyone picked up a book and started reading.

***************

Jenny had a song in her heart as she pulled into her parking space.  She
grabbed her bag and headed straight for the library.  She hesitated briefly
at the library door.  She took a deep breath and opened the door.  Five
people turned to face her.  They all immediately looked back down at their
books.

"Umm. . . hi everyone.  Hi Rupert," Jenny said.

"Hello Jenny," Rupert returned.

"I need to talk to you," Jenny said simply.

"Umm. . .alright, would you excuse us everyone?" Giles asked.

"That's not necessary.  You all need to hear this.  I have good news.  You
all know at this point that I'm Romani, well, I went to see the elderwoman
of my tribe two days ago and well.. .We found Angel's cure," Jenny said,
slightly nervous but finally blurting it all out.

The bell rang.

"You what!  You found! . . .you WHAT!?!" buffy exclaimed.

"I felt awful about Angel turning evil.  I wanted to make it up to you,"
Jenny tried to explain.  Buffy rushed forwards and threw her arms around
Jenny.

"I don't know what to say," Buffy said.  "Thank you.  Thank you from the
bottom of my heart."

"We really got to get to class now, but that's great Ms. Calender.  Thank
you," Willow said.  Xander, Oz, Willow and Buffy left for class.  Jenny and
Giles were left alone.

"Ummm. . .I've got a class to teach," Jenny said.

"Yes, yes of course.  But before you go, thank you."

"Umm, there's some things I need to talk to you about.  I'll stop by
later," Jenny said.

"Yes, fine.  See you then.

***************

Buffy spent the morning in a daze. <<My Angel.  The real Angel.  That's so
great.  Wow.>> Happy-type thoughts about being with Angel again.  Then her
mind drifted to other things. <<What does the curse involve?  What if it
doesn't work?  Will another moment of happiness destroy it?  Will anything
ever be the same again?>>   Her mind went from good thoughts about Angel to
worries about the curse.

<<Even if it only lasts for a minute, it's worth it.  To be with him,
anything for Angel.>>

***************

Willow was getting excited.  She was so excited that she missed one of the
questions the teacher asked.  Buffy would have gotten worried, except she
was off in a world of her own. <<This is so great for buffy>> she kept
thinking.  Willow, studious, ex-nerd Willow was counting down the minutes
until lunch.

***************

Buffy and Willow practically sprinted to the library when the bell rang for
lunch.

"Hi Giles, is Ms. Calendar here?" Buffy demanded.

"Hello Buffy.  No Ms. Calendar hasn't arrived yet, but she should be here
shortly."

"Or maybe now," Jenny said, entering.

"Ms. Calendar, I want to ask you some things about this curse.  Is it
permanent?  Is there some risk?  What do we need to do it?  Will another
moment of happiness bring back Angelus?" buffy fired off question after
question.

"The elderwoman is really who you should ask these questions but I think
the curse is permanent.  First, though, Rupert do you know if Angel has
been experiencing pain?  The kind that would make him fall to the ground?"

"How did you know?" Buffy asked.  "Yesterday, we were fighting and that
exact thing happened."

"It did?" Jenny sighed, feeling relieved.

"Jenny, you mentioned this elderwoman?  She is the central figure of the
tribe right?  Is she here?" Giles asked.

"Yeah, she's at my place, with Alice.  Can I call them?"

"Yes, yes, certainly."  Jenny quickly punched in her number.

"Hi Alice, it's Jenny.  Can I talk to the elderwoman?  Okay, great. . . Hi
grandmother, how are the preparations going? . . .Oh dear.  Do you need
more help?"  Buffy Willow and Oz volunteered to help.  Giles volunteered
his help as well.

"Grandmother, I'll come pick you up, we have 4 volunteers to help, plus me.
 I'll be there in a few minutes.  Bye."  Jenny hung up the phone.

"I'll be back soon.  Rupert, you think of a good excuse to get them out of
class.  Bye," Jenny called over her shoulder.

****************

Jenny led Alice and the elderwoman around to the back door of the library.
Jenny knocked on the door and Buffy pounced on the door.

"Hi, you must be the elderwoman.  I'm Buffy, good to meet you.  Let's get
going," Buffy said.

"Hello, I'm Giles. . .uh, Rupert Giles.  Come in, come in.  Oh, I thought
we could say the library club is required for cataloguing books and we need
your expert advice.  I told their teachers and Xander and Cordelia have
volunteered to help as well."

"Great!  Let's not waste any more time with chit chat, let's get going!"
Buffy exclaimed.

"She is right.  We will start now," the elderwoman decreed.

***************

Spike was sitting in his chair at the table, thinking. <<Dru's off doing
something with Angel.  Typical,>> Spike thought.  He tried to pretend that
he didn't care, that Dru's never being around didn't bother him or that the
fact that she was always with Angel didn't matter to him. <<Who am I
kidding?" Spike thought. <<Well, for once the Slayer and I have something n
common,>> Spike thought, smiling to himself at the irony. <<But if I know
her, she's already got four different plans whirling around in her head,
she might even have a curse already.  I on the other hand, am sitting in
this chair feeling sorry for myself.>> the realization hit Spike. <<I'm
giving up on getting Dru back without a fight.  But what can I do?>> Spike
wondered.  He ran the problem over and over in his mind.  Suddenly, he
figured it out.

<<Well, I'll be damned.>>


End part 11

Don't forget to send feedback to [e-mail]



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Questioning" (poem)
Date: 26 Apr 1998 15:49:19 EDT

Disclaimer: Spike ain't mind. (I flippin' WISH! ::drools::)
Notes: From Spike's POV, about Dru, after Angel turns evil agian.
Distribution: Not w/out my permission, please.
Comments: YESYESYES, please, I've never posted a poem from a character's POV
anywhere before, and I'd like to know if it's any good. Send all comments
here, to [e-mail]. Thankee. :)

R

~

"Questioning"

All the years I thought I loved her
All the times I so willingly let her guide me
but now I'm questioning.
My choices, were they wise ones?
My time, was it well spent?
Or have I been living a lie without remorse?
and now will she leave me if she learns?
I ask myself, now that I see her with him
What did I have in mind?
Was it to be some sort of
perfect romance that lasted forever?
or did I somehow expect these emotions to wither
and should I be thankful it's lasted
this long.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: sarah <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: On A Tombstone
Date: 26 Apr 1998 16:16:48 -0400 (EDT)

This is my first submission of poetry anywhere, but my editor and friend
Rachel told me that it was indeed good enough, so if any of you disagree,
feel free to tell me but, please, don't emotionally scar me in the
process.  So anyway, I have three pieces, and I'll disclaim them all at
once here.  I don't own the characters.  I do own the poetry that follows
however.  And at the end of each poem, for the obscurely inept, I will
tell you what was actually going on, cause even Rachel was having problems
on one of them.  :)
Archive:  Yea, but tell me if it's other than the digest Archive

On A Tombstone
By Sarah Liz Gordy

As I sit here in the darkness
And dream amongst the light
I see your face before me
And I lose all perspective

The stone has become so cold
Your eyes shift before me
I don't know if it is you
It seems, but

Are you trapped
Are you watching
Are you waiting
Do you know what it is that he does

Do you die inside every time

Now I know
You were not there
He was alone
Vindictive
That he was stored away
For so very long

The words were different
The voice the same
Your love was not in it
His touch was brutal
The texture so close
Your caress was not with him

The body familiar
The soul absent

Forgive me for what I do
It's not you
I know
Still
A part of me has died
That was alive before


Author's Note:

K.  This is from Buffy's POV.  Thinking about Angelus, how she just killed
him, blah, blah, blah, the rest I think you've gotten.  And, yes!  I'd
love to hear your impressions on this poem.  Thank you for asking :)

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
x       x X-Phile,                                                      x
x sarah x   FoLC,                                                       x
x       x     and adamant believer in Angel's humanity                  x
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x(it's just taken a leave of absence) x x x x x






-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: sarah <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Dawn
Date: 26 Apr 1998 16:23:00 -0400 (EDT)

Here is the second poem, disclaimers in the first.
Archive: Anywhere, but tell me if it's not the Digest Archive
Author's Note:  See end.

The Dawn
By Sarah Liz Gordy

Such damage he has inflicted
The extent I do not know
He has hurt
He has killed
He has twisted beautiful things
Into loathsome terrors

He did his job well

If ever he wanted to punish me
He has

He made it impossible for me to
Return to the life I knew
The love I knew

He is gone now
Perhaps forever
I do not know
I will not give him another chance
Ever

But how can I leave?

She is stronger now I suppose
But more fragile as well
I can see it in her eyes
There is no light
Except when she first sees me
Then there is fear
Every time

I would suffer a thousand deaths
And live forever in my internal hell
Of remorse and grief
To erase that pain I see in her eyes
In their eyes
If only for one time
Indeed
I will spend the rest of my cursed days
Atoning
But what will that serve me now
Nothing
He has done these things
In my name
Now he is gone
Yet I still remain

Perhaps after two hundred years
The pain will ease
Perhaps if I kill them all
No more pain for innocents
No more thirst for monsters
No more

Then how easy it will be
To wait by her graveside
And watch the sun rise


Author's Note:  This one was from Angel's POV, good now, but a complete
outcast because of the actions of Angelus... and the rest is self
explainatory.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
x       x X-Phile,                                                      x
x sarah x   FoLC,                                                       x
x       x     and adamant believer in Angel's humanity                  x
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x(it's just taken a leave of absence) x x x x x






-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: sarah <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: To Long
Date: 26 Apr 1998 16:30:27 -0400 (EDT)

This is the third poem, see first for disclaimers.
Archive:  Anywhere your heart desires, but do inform me, I like to know
where my children are playing, unless of course, it is the Digest Archive,
cause they are there alot...
Author's Note: see end.

To Long
By Sarah Liz Gordy

It's been a long time, Sir
I'm sorry I've not spoken sooner
Perhaps if I had
I wouldn't be here
Saying these words
Now

I won't think of that now
Now I think of him

I just wanted a moment
Just you and I, Sir
Because I think we are the only ones left
Who harbor anything for him
Other than hate
At least I hope so

Everyone says that you curse them
It's understandable really
After all they are horribly evil
And have no soul
I don't particularly like them
Any more than you do
But if ever one soul were penitent

Sir, please, he didn't want it this way
He didn't choose this
All those things he did
I don't believe that it was him
It was the demon

Why am I telling you these things
You know them better than I do
I suppose I needed to talk to someone
To rationalize it to someone
And you're the only one willing
To listen


Author's Note:  Rachel thought Buffy was talking to the Gypsies.  Guess
again.  She is kneeling over Angel's ashes stake in hand, praying to God
for his soul.


x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
x       x X-Phile,                                                      x
x sarah x   FoLC,                                                       x
x       x     and adamant believer in Angel's humanity                  x
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x(it's just taken a leave of absence) x x x x x






-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: sarah <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Too Long
Date: 26 Apr 1998 18:45:53 -0400 (EDT)

oops.  Title should read, Too Long, instead of To Long.  Paint me purple
and call me dumb.  Sorry about the error.

Sarah Liz (a very contrite one at that)



x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
x       x X-Phile,                                                      x
x sarah x   FoLC,                                                       x
x       x     and adamant believer in Angel's humanity                  x
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x(it's just taken a leave of absence) x x x x x





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Leslie S." <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Hi, my name is Leslie" (1/1)
Date: 26 Apr 1998 21:38:07 PDT

TITLE:  Hi, My Name is Leslie
AUTHOR:  Leslie S.
EMAIL:  [e-mail]
DISTRIBUTION:  Just Twist My Arm!!!
FEEDBACK: Let me know I am not alone!  Please!!!!
RATING: Talk of Addiction, the kind that gives you a happy!
SPOILER: None
DISCLAIMER: ThereÆs not much to disclaim here!  I belong to myself and
the copyright of me goes to my parents!
DEDICATION: To the fine people who invented Tang!

"Hi, my name is Leslie" (1/1)

By Leslie S.


Hi, my name is Leslie and I am a Buffaholic.  (HI LESLIE!) Worse than
thatàI am addicted to Buffy fan fiction.  I ask myself everyday, how I
managed to fall so low.  But I just donÆt know.  Maybe if I share the
story of my plunge into the Hellmouth, I can keep someone else from
following my path to self-destruction.

It all started when I was just innocently surfing that great big world
wide web.  I came across this site: http://Slayerfanfic.com/.  Then I
came across instructions on how to join a Buffy fan fiction mailing
list: http://www.freenet.hamilton.on.ca/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM  so I
joined!  I figured what the heck, at least I could count on some e-mail.
Nothing harmful!  Right???

When I would get home from work, IÆd check my e-mail, read a few story
parts and be done with it.  Then I decided that I really should check my
mail when I got home *and* after dinner.  You know, just in case
something was added while I was eating.  Of course I would only do this
if there was like one part left to a story.  Oh, I fooled myself with
that one for a while.  But I couldnÆt fool my friends and co-workers.

(OOPS Hold up.  I gotta check my e-mail!!)

It used to be Lois and Clark this, Lois and Clark that.  Until it went
away!  I needed something to fill the void, the emptiness that was my
life.  So suddenly, everything became Buffy this, or Buffy that, or I
read the best story last night, this morning, this afternoon.  People
were telling me I was obsessed, addicted.  But I didnÆt hear them.  I
wasnÆt listening.  I was too busy checking my e-mail!

I have been known to check my e-mail upwards of 12 times a day.  I have
even begun to write my own Buffy fan fiction.  (Send me an e-mail and
IÆll drop you a copy!)  But I knew I had hit rock bottom when I started
(oh it pains me to admit this) role-playing.  Yes folks, I play "Buffy"
on the #bvs channel on Undernet:
http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Shores/4145/
(OH THE SHAME!  My family must never know!)

So yep!  Here I amà29 years old addicted to a show probably aimed at
demographic group 7 to 10 years younger than I actually am!

(OOPS Hold up.  I gotta check my e-mail!!)

If any of you reading this feel you might be going down the same path,
either compulsively checking your e-mail, or just generally obsessing
about Buffy, I am always available to chat.  You can find me several
nights a week  #bvs channel on Undernet.  Unless I am checking  my
e-mail.

BUFFY RULES!


______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love's Revival (4/?)
Date: 27 Apr 1998 10:06:40 EDT

Title: Love's Revival (4/?)
Author: Michelle
Email Addy: [e-mail]
Rating: PG
Spoiler: All episodes up to Killed By Death
Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!
Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc.
The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine!
Sumary: Buffy and Angel cope with the thought of love between eachother while
Angel is still evil.  Buffy must face some old horrors as well as some new
ones.
IMPORTANT: Sequal to The Dark One Series. This story is explained as best
as I could to fill in the blanks but you have to read "The Dark One" to
understand it. You can check it out as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html

Love's Revival Part 4

        "Is she going to be okay?" Willow's voice was filled with tears
as she watched her best friend's lifeless body placed on
the bed.  Cordelia, Xander, and Oz stood on one side of the bed while
Giles stood on the other.
        "I don't know. She's barely breathing and she's burning up,"
Giles said as he placed a hand on her forehead.
        "What's wrong with her?" Xander ran is fingers stressfully
through his hair as he watched her just lay there.
        "She's dying." Angel's mysterious figure approached them from
out of the closet as Xander shoved Willow and Cordelia behind him
and stood to protect Buffy.
        "Did you do this to her?" Xander said as harshly as possible. He
stood face to face with Angel, a demon of darkness who had already hurt
Buffy so much.
        He smiled slightly at the thought. "Of course I didn't do this
to her; I could never kill her." Angel stepped back a bit, keeping in
the shadows of the room.
        "Then how do you know she's dying?" Willow asked still hiding
behind Xander.
        "Savarah."
        "She did this?" Giles said as he looked at Buffy again.
        "Yeah. Their so called fair fight, well, it wasn't very fair."
        "Oh my god." Giles said faintly as he looked down at Buffy.
        "You don't have much time.  Savarah's taking her soul away from
her."
        "What?" Oz gasped.
        "Savarah cast a spell on Buffy, just in case she didn't win the
fight, to remove her soul; and her body can't live unless it has a soul.
You only have one option, and very little time."
        "What's that?"
        "Give her mine," Angel said painfully. Savarah's words echoed in
his mind: 'You still love her. Love her. Love-'
        "What? How?" Willow stopped as she realized the disk. "I'll be
right back." She ran out of the house and got to the library as fast as
she could.Everyone watched Buffy, tears filling their eyes. She meant so
much to all of them.
        "I have to go.  You know what to do. Once she has my soul inside
of her...she will have to make a decision. She will know what she has to
do." Angel smiled as he took one last look at her. "I will guide her."
he said under his breath.
        "But..." Giles tried to stop him, still hoping for more answers,
but Angel was gone. Almost as if he just disappeared.
        Giles and Xander sat next to Buffy on the bed and held her hands
tightly in theirs. Minutes passed that seemed like hours.
        "Where is she?" Cordelia said impatiently.
        "She'll be here. Just relax," Xander said as he reached for her
hand.
        "How can I relax when Buffy's about to die?"
        Everyone in the room turned their eyes to her.  "What? I don't
want her to die." Cordelia said as she turned away from Xander's hand.
        "I've got it," Willow said as she bounced into the room with the
orb and the spell printed out on paper. "I called his soul into the orb
while I was in the library. All we have to do now is get it into Buffy's
body."
        "At the library?" Giles asked, as he thought about Angel and his
mysterious disappearance.
        "Yeah, now let's do this before it's too late."

End Part 4



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Aglx <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love's Revival (5/?)
Date: 27 Apr 1998 10:10:15 EDT

Title: Love's Revival (5/?)
Author: Michelle
Email Addy: [e-mail]
Rating: PG
Spoiler: All episodes up to Killed By Death
Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!
Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc.
The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine!
Sumary: Buffy and Angel cope with the thought of love between eachother while
Angel is still evil.  Buffy must face some old horrors as well as some new
ones.
IMPORTANT: Sequal to The Dark One Series. This story is explained as best
as I could to fill in the blanks but you have to read "The Dark One" to
understand it. You can check it out as well as all my other stories at:
http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html

Love's Revival Part 5

       Willow chanted the spell as the orb grew brighter and brighter
with every word.  A bright light filled the room, and everyone had to
shield their eyes from it. Suddenly, the light stopped and the room
became silent. Attention was all turned to Buffy; but she didn't
move, and her breath was faint. Giles reached to check her pulse.
        "It's getting stronger!" he yelled, as tears of joy fell from
his eyes. Everyone jumped up and hugged eachother.
        "Hey, are you having a party without me?" a quiet voice came
from Buffy's lips.
        "Buffy!" They all screamed in unison.
        "Hey, hey, watch the noise. I've got a headache that you
wouldn't believe." Buffy stopped for a second, held her head and then
looked up to Giles. "Angel?"
        "He gave his soul so you could live, Buffy."  Giles' body went
stiff at the pain he saw forming in her eyes.
        "Buffy, you have to decide," Angel's voice whispered inside her
head.  She smiled as she recognized his sweet voice.
        "Buffy?" Xander asked, noticing her smile.
        "I'm fine. I know what I have to do."  The Slayer started to
push her way out of bed, but Giles and Xander stopped her.
        "Don't! You're too weak."
        "No. I'm strong. I've got help."  They looked at her,
confused.
        "Don't try to stop me.  I have to get Angel back."  Buffy
broke away from their grasp and got to her feet.  "I've got to do
this.  Don't worry, I won't loose this time."
        "Buffy, you're not-" Willow said as she started to understand
what Buffy was going to do.
        "Yeah, I am. I'm going to fight her and I'm going to win."
She was so sure of herself that it scared them.   She had just been
brought back from near death, and even though she had Angel's soul
inside of her they didn't think she could fight Savarah again.

End Part 5



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Mark Jones <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:  When (5/?)  By Rachel Jones
Date: 28 Apr 1998 17:31:41 +0100

After reading this you ALL have an opinion, be it good or bad!  So let me
know what you think about this story - it's my first and I'll try to improve
it for next time!!  Thank you!
If you have missed any of the other parts of this story just e-mail me and
I'll send you them.  Enjoy!


                                                                WHEN?
Buffy was terrified, she wanted to go and help her friends, for she knew the
vampires werent joking and it was too big a risk to assume that they were.
But she couldnt, she couldnt leave, not until Angel allowed her, for she
felt certain that he was the one holding her there.  She began to attempt to
come up with a plan, none were any good, she needed a way to make Angel come
here QUICKLY.  She concentrated on nothing but Angel, she blocked the
thought of her friends doom, and tried to summon Angel.  She didnt bother
to think about the vampires that surrounded her, she thought that their plan
was to make her go to the master and retrieve her friends and then the
master would attack, but she would be ready, while she was stuck waiting she
may as well prepare her self.
While she was planning her attack, a though crept into her mind, what if
Angelus had set all of this up?  He had made her come and stay and planned
for the attack?  She began to worry, for is he had set this up then there
was no way that he would come and rescue Buffy, but maybe Angel can fight
and banish the evil Angelus and then come and help her, but what help could
he be?  There would be no way that he would know where the others were,
whereas Angelus would, she was stuck.






-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: IluvBtVS <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Please read
Date: 27 Apr 1998 17:24:07 EDT

First of I just want to say that I'm sorry for buging all of y'all with this,
but my e-mail has been down from April 23- today at about 5:00.  As a person
who is addicted to buffy fic, I would appreciate it a lot if anyone who posted
could please, please, please, send it to me privately.  I know this is a pain
in the butt, but i would appreciate it greatly.

   Thanx,
     Britt





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (Part 14)
Date: 27 Apr 1998 18:48:01 -0700

For disclaimers see part 1


A Stroke of Luck (part 14)


~ Don't ask me why ~
~ Don't even try ~

    They walked through the night together, barely night actually, the sky
was dark, but hardly any stars were shinning. Buffy highly doubted that
there were even any vamps around, however that didn't stop her from
carrying her spare stake.
When they rounded the corner, more than half way to Angels apartment
Xander asked "Do you really think Spike has her?"
      Buffy knew, almost without a doubt that Spike had her... There was
no proof.. but how much proof do you need to know? I mean, Willow ended
up missing the exact same day that Buffy had slayed Drusilla.
"I'm pretty sure" She told Xander. And after a long pause continued
"Xander... look..." Buffy slowed down her pace.
    "Willow... Uhm... Well... If she's with Spike.. and umm.."
    "Buffy... Stop there" Xander sighed "I know what your going to say and
I know it's not true." Xander stopped himself, on the edge of tears,
taking a minute to recover before finishing his sentence "Willow can't
be dead. I can feel it Buffy, she's not dead"
    They both stopped walking Buffy looked downwards "I'm sorry Xander"
She  looked genuinely sorry. "I--"
    "It's not your fault Buffy" Xander said, though Buffy got the
impression that he didn't really mean it. That he did blame her.. And
why shouldn't he? Spike would never had taken Willow had it not been for
Buffy..
    The continued walking, both remaining in silence, each lost in their
own minds until they came to Angels place.

~~~~

    Angel answered the door within two knocks. His eye's lit up when he saw
Buffy standing there, though he made no move to show it. She could come
with bad news.
    He moved aside and invited them in.
    "How's Giles" He asked.
    "Giles is fine." She said...
    Buffy sat down, took a deep breath and blurted out "I need to know
where Spike is"
    "Buffy, I--" Angel began about to express his concerns when he was
interrupted
    "Yeah, I know" Buffy said sounding annoyed. "But Willow may be
endanger." Buffy's eye's pleaded with him to understand.
    "We think.. we haven't seen her.. since that night.. we haven't seen
Spike, I mean, put two and two together." She nearly sobbed out.
    Angel glanced at Xander who was staring at a picture on the wall, very
clearly not thinking of the picture.
    Angel nodded silently and Buffy let out the breath she didn't know
she'd been holding. "Thank-you" She whispered.



--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (Part 15)
Date: 27 Apr 1998 18:48:41 -0700

For disclaimers see part 1

A Stroke of Luck (part 15)


    Angel led her to an abandoned warehouse. Buffy rolled her eyes
      "You've got to be kidding me? He has Willow in here?" A shudder
past threw her. Just the thought of Willow being held captive to Spike
was enough to make her want to gag.
      "So what are we waiting for?" Xander all but yelled, as he charged
forwards.
      Buffy grabbed him as he dashed by.
      "Have we forgotten Willow's life is at risk here?!"
    Buffy pulled him down and whispered "Calm down!" Buffy's eyes scanned
the perimeter, before she looked back at Xander " We're going to get
Willow! But we don't know how many vamps there are guarding this place."
She said, and looked around. She unfastened her cross around her neck
and handed it to Xander along with a stake.
      "You stay here, I'll be right back"

~~~~~~~

    Spike was sitting in the main level of the building. His mind was
wondering around again, his thoughts were of Drusilla...
    Idly he thought about the 3 stages of man... The denial, then
awareness, and at last acceptance
    Acceptance... Spike sighed loudly.
    Vampires don't have souls. Their souls are taken away with the first
drink of immortal blood. The soul dies, the body remains. That's how it
goes.
    But humanity, love, compassion...  Why did he feel this way? He loved
Drusilla. There was no doubt about it. But his Drusilla was gone. She
was dead.
    Spikes thoughts paused...
    Where was the slayer? You'd think she'd be rushing to save her sweet
friend. Not stalling so long....

~~~~~~~

    Buffy peeked around the corner. There were two vampires guarding the
entrance... Buffy blinked. Only two? This would be a piece of cake. She
thought, hoping she wasn't jinxing the hell outta this.
    She slowly began to sneak up on the two.
A third vampire came around the corner. Buffy of course, caught up in
her sneaking, didn't see him until it was to late.
      He grabbed her from behind. The two guards at the door turned and
came after her smiling.
    "Slayer" the first one hissed as the two came nearer
    "The one and only" Buffy said, struggling to get out of the vampires
grasp.
      "Spike will be pleased" One hissed, as the other nodded.
    Though as soon as they got within reach Buffy kicked out sending the
first flying, and the other staggering back.
    Tossing her head violently back, and vampire holding her stumbled ad
released her.
    She stood, positioned to see all three vampires, waiting for one to
attack.


~~~~~

    Away in Drusilla's bedroom, the small bundle that lay on top of the
covers began thrashing about.
    Willow awoke, her head spinning.
    Pictures, words, lifes, all things flashed before her.
    Blood, fire, and people, Spike, and torches, lots of fire, endless
fields of blood...
    Unable to focus, to think, to breathe she began to panic, her head,
everything was so fast... nothing would stand still long enough for her
to comprehend. Spike, Drusilla, Angel ... 'Angelus' her mind told her...
Blood... there was so much blood.
    Willow's Eyes flew open suddenly, as she gave a shattering breath for
the air she no longer needed. Her body was in panic mode, and she
couldn't stop herself from the scream that escaped from her lips.


~~~~~


    Spike listened to the tossing and turning coming from the other room.
Her scream was well savored...
    Somewhat surprised at how fast her change had gone. Spike picked up a
glass of blood and began walking into the bedroom room
    "Spike!" he heard a vampire called from behind him.
    Spike turned around fast enough to see the vampire turn to dust.

    "Hello Spike"
    Spike smiled, as the slayer approached him...




--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: A STroke of Luck (Part 16)
Date: 27 Apr 1998 18:49:22 -0700

For disclaimers see part 1

A Stroke of Luck (Part 16)


    "I was just thinking of you" Spike said, setting down the goblet on a
nearby create
    Buffy walked down the stairs, trying not to let the adrenaline pulsing
through her body make her act rash. But at the site of Spike's face...
She wanted so badly to rip out his heart. "Where's Willow?" She hissed.
    "Willow?" Spike asked, tapping his fingers on his chin. "That'd be the
redhead right?"
    They were nearly a yard away from each other now. The tension between
them was amazing.
    Buffy's nerves towered as she heard a heart shattering scream come from
the room next to them. Her eyes widened in shock but Spike just smiled
innocently.
    Buffy ran to the next room to get Willow before it was too late.
Only to be stopped dead in her tracks by Spike "Now, now. No peeking
behind the doors."
    Buffy immediately hit out at him, but Spike easily blocked her blow,
and holding her arm, kicked her head.
    This disoriented Buffy a little and she staggered back a bit, giving
Spike enough time to punch Buffy in the stomach a couple times, until
she caught his wrist.
    Tightening her grip she swung Spike around, sending him flying on top
of the table with a loud crash.


~~~~~

    Willow's body jerked up at the loud noise echoing in her head.
    Willow blinked. She could barely comprehend her own surroundings, she
knew she was in Spikes warehouse, and she knew also that she was in
Drusilla's bedroom. The room wasn't so dark now. There were no candles
lit, but she could see just fine. Only that when she did looked she saw
Spike.. And then when she closed her eyes, all she saw was blood.
    Willow blinked over and over, trying to get her head to focus.
    "Spike?" Willow asked out loud to the only person who could help her.

~~~~~

    Neither of the two heard her, both concentrating on each other as Buffy
jumped on top of the table, straddling Spike's body, she went to meet
the stake with his chest, when he kicked her feet out from under her,
sending the slayer  down on her back with a loud thud. Spike jumped off
the table to meet with Buffy's body.

~~~~~

    Her ears caught the noise from outside, ringing so loudly that all she
saw was red.
    "Spike!" She screamed as loud as her voice would carry.

~~~~~

    'Damn it' Spikes mind yelled at him as Willow's terrified scream filled
the warehouse.
    "Willow" Buffy whispered as her head stopped spinning.
    "yeah." Spike sighed, looking down at the slayers sprawled out body.
"But don't worry. I'll make sure she has a happy home."
    Buffy didn't understand. Not at first.
    "But - I'm afraid that her happy home, doesn't include you." He
finished as he bent down to pick up.

~~~~~

    All she could think about was blood. All she could see, taste, feel,
hear. Everything was blood.
    Without her consciously knowing Willow began to stand, unsure of
exactly where she was going, she found herself at the door.
    She had to shake her head just to make sure she was looking at a door,
her mind, her thoughts were so slow, she didn't understand what was
happening to her, but she did know one thing.
    Blood.
    Grasping the door handle roughly she shook at it. It didn't budge. She
shook it again, and again, until the door busted in two, and she walked
out.


~~~~~


    Spike grabbed Buffy and turned both their bodies towards Willow.
    Buffy gasped at she took one look on her friends distorted face.
    She shook her head, "No... No not Willow.."
    "'fraid so" Spike said, tightening his grip, he couldn't help but
smile, this was to perfect.
    "C'mere, love" He said to Willow. "I have a treat for you"




--

~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~
<[e-mail]>
http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
'We look before and After, and pine for what is not;
our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest
thought...' The Cure (Wish)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: stuff
Date: 27 Apr 1998 21:15:07 +0000

please, I am despret for more buffyfic!!!!



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From:    Sarah Douglas <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Cure" (12/14)
Date: 27 Apr 1998 17:41:51


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy or any of the other wonderful characters in
the Buffyverse.  I am using them without the permission of the people who
do own them who are not going to sue me because I am not making any money
off this.  Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, Kusui and Sandollar own the Buffy
characters.

DISTRIBUTION: Just ask.

RATING: Probably PG

FEEDBACK: I would love to know what you all think of this.  Please send me
feedback.  Pretty please.  <[e-mail]>

SUMMARY:  Okay, well this takes place while Ms. Calendar is still alive,
but Angel is evil, so probably Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.  It's
another "Angel gets his soul back" story which I wrote to convince myself
that Angel could be good again.  It's kind of long and I'm sorry about that
you all.

AUTHOR'S MESSAGE:  I would like to dedicate this part to Leslie who bravely
came out in the open about her obsession with Buffy.  I too am obsessed.
They say that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
Well, I don't want to recover, so I'm not going to.  Everyone enjoy the new
ep.  We deserve it for our patience.

On with the show

The Cure   (12/14)

The "library club" was hard at work.  Under the direction of the
elderwoman, they prepared many things.  They combined herbs as she directed.

The elderwoman suddenly turned.

"Buffy, do you have any Holy water?"

"Yeah, why?" Buffy asked, bewildered.

"For protection, Janna must soak in Holy water.  She will also need to
consume a large quantity.  That way, if something should go wrong and
Angelus tried to feed on her, the Holy water will make him stop.  Her blood
will be like poison to him, and touching her will burn him.  How much can
we muster?  Where can we get more if needed?"

"Giles, how much HW you got?" Buffy asked.

"HW?" Giles asked, confused.

"Holy water, Giles.  How much do you have?" Buffy asked.

"Oh yes, HW, Holy water, very good.  Twenty to twenty-five jars, I should
think," Giles replied, smiling.

"I got about the same at home.  Will that be enough?"

"How large are the jars?" the elderwoman asked.  Buffy made a gesture to
indicate the size of the jar.

"That will be enough for Janna to soak in.  We will need about twenty more
for her to drink."

"TWENTY JARS!?!  How am I supposed to drink that much?" Jenny exclaimed.
Jenny and the elderwoman began discussing the Holy water.  The phone rang
and Willow got it.

"Giles, what church should I break into to get more HW?" Buffy asked.

"I would recommend the nearest church," Giles smiled at buffy's matter of
factness about breaking and entering.

Willow put the phone on the counter with enough of a bang to make everyone
turn to face her.

"Buffy, there's someone on the phone for you.  It's Spike.  And he wants to
help us re-curse Angel."

***************

Angel was sitting on Dru's bed watching her play with her dolls.  She would
take care of them, mother them and then suddenly, she'd lash out at them.
<<Oh well, that's what happens when you're insane,>> he thought, grinning
at the thought that he caused it.  Nonetheless, he was bored. <<Oh well,
it's worth it to make Spike angry.>>

***************

Buffy was stunned that Spike was on the phone, but nevertheless she picked
up the receiver.

"Hi Spike.  What's up?"

"Hello Buffy.  I have a proposition to make.  Are you trying to re-curse
Angelus?"

"Okay, you have my full attention.  What do you mean?"

"Well, this may be hard to believe, but I want to help you."

"And I should believe you why?"

"Look, this sounds strange, I know, but we can actually help each other out
here.  You want the Angelus with a soul, I want him away from my Dru.
Giving him back that soul satisfies that .  What can I so to help you?"

"Will you hang on a sec, Spike?  I gotta talk to Giles."

"Sure, I'll call back in. . .how long do you need?"

"Gimme a half an hour."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye Spike."

***************

Buffy paced around the library.  School had let out two hours ago.  Buffy
was anxious about the ritual.  She's talked to Spike, and his job was to
call once Angel left to hunt and to tell them where he was going to hunt.
Buffy and Ms. Calendar would go there, Buffy would distract him and ms.
Calendar would put a spell on Angel that would make him completely
helpless.  They would go to the library where everything would be set up
for the ritual.  Buffy wanted to whole thing over with.

"Giles, I'm going to get the Holy water."

***************

Willow was dripping wax over the floor of the library under the careful
guidance of the elderwoman.  Willow was really happy and excited. <<This is
so great for Buffy!>> she thought.  <<And I get to go home again.>> Willow
gently poured the melted wax on the floor. <<Plus, I miss Angel.  He was so
nice and smart,>> Willow remembered.  Willow continued pouring the wax.

***************

Xander measured out another herb who's name he couldn't pronounce. <<Oh,
good, dead boy's coming back,>> Xander thought sarcastically.  But Xander
was kind of relieved.  Buffy had taken this whole thing pretty hard.

<<And I have to admit, I kind of miss the walking corpse.  He was really
helpful.>>

***************

Spike rolled back to the table.  He felt a little bit bad, a little like a
traitor. <<But she's worth it,>> Spike thought.

"Hey roller-boy!" Angel said.  Spike just sat at the table.

"Aw, don't sulk Spikey.  What's the matter, can't take a joke?" Angel
continued.

"Hi Angelus.  Where's Dru?" Spike asked.  She's taking a little nat before
dinner.  She got a little worn out," Angel replied.  Spike gave a little
laugh.

"If you're trying to make me jealous Angelus, it won't work," Spike replied.

"Not why would I want to do something like that?" Angel asked, pretending
to be innocent.

"Fine Angelus," Spike said calmly. <<After tonight, you're not coming
back,>> Spike thought.

***************

Buffy walked towards the church that was only a few blocks away.  She
quietly snuck around to the side where she knew the offices were. <<No one
in there.>>


buffy carefully looked in every window.  Buffy didn't see anyone.  Through
on window she saw a large supply of Holy water.

<<Must be my lucky day," Buffy smiled.  She tested the window. <<Alright,
unlocked!>> Buffy opened the window and pushed herself in.  She quickly
scouted to make sure no one was around.  When she was satisfied that no one
was there.  She grabbed all the Holy water she needed and went back out the
window.

Buffy walked as quickly as she could back to the library.

***************

Buffy watch anxiously out the window as the sun sank below the horizon.

"Sunset," she declared the second the sun sank below the horizon.

Buffy moved to a chair beside the phone, waiting for Spike's call.

Finally, the phone rang.

"Show time," Buffy said, and picked up the phone.

***************

Buffy and Jenny grabbed their stuff, getting ready to go.  Before they
left, Buffy picked up two crossed.

"Here Ms. Calendar, you need one of these.  I want to be prepared, and I
want you to be able to protect yourself," Buffy said handing Jenny a cross.
 "Okay, the rest of you, we'll be back in a bit."  Buffy looked over at
Giles, who seemed a bit nervous.  Impulsively, buffy gave Giles a hug.
"Don't worry Giles, everything will be fine," Buffy whispered.

"Let's go Buffy," Ms. Calendar said.

"Okay, coming," Buffy replied.

"Good luck," everyone called out after them.

***************


Angel lay in wait for Buffy, the same as the night before, calmly sitting
in the corner.

She was, in fact, just outside the graveyard, quietly waiting until Ms.
Calendar was ready.  Ms. Calendar was ready.  Ms. Calendar gave the signal.
 Buffy went into the graveyard.

Angel came out of the shadows.

"Hi lover," Angel said.

"Can we skip the feeble banter, just for tonight?  I didn't come here to
talk, I came here to fight," Buffy replied.

"Fine by me," Angel said.  Then he attacked.

Buffy was ready though, and she blocked his attack and got in two quick
punched which left Angel a little off balance.  He waited as she attacked
and he used her momentum to knock her backward, but in the process he got
knocked backwards too.  Buffy was quicker on her feet and she kept him from
getting up.

At the same time Ms. Calendar had come in and was speaking the words of the
spell to leave him helpless.  Buffy had no clue what Ms. Calendar was
actually saying, but she caught "Angelus" a couple of times.

Angel realized what was happening and started trying to get away, but Buffy
managed to stop him, throwing him against the cemetary wall.

Jenny finished her chant and Angel fell to the ground.

"Done," Ms. Calendar announced.

"Great,' Buffy replied with a huge smile, "I'll grab him and let's go!"

End part 12

Feedback to [e-mail]



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Blu2cool <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: my first posting to this list... (Temporary Insanity 1 of 1)
Date: 27 Apr 1998 23:15:07 EDT

Temporary Insanity (or Without Internet)
by Blu ([e-mail])

Disclaimer: All things Buffy belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, etc.
I make no claims to them and no copyright infrengement is intended. No
spoilers at all, except that Oz is in this story, so I guess that would make
it about Surprise/Innocence... All comments welcome to the author's email.
Thanks!

The story:

  A deafening scream interrupted the sanctity of the library. Giles, who was
reading a bulky leather-bound book, while standing up, dropped it. The book
landed with a thud. Xander was eating a Twinkie and he swallowed it whole,
immediately choking. He doubled over, coughing and spluttering. Cordy had be
leaning over the table, but when she heard the scream she jumped and let out a
shriek.

  Willow, who had screamed, stomped her foot angrily, and slapped her hands
down on the keyboard of "her" (technically, the library's) computer.

  "Aaaaugh!" Willow whacked the top of the monitor, none to gently either.
"Let" (whack) "me" (whack) "have" (whack) "on!!!" Thump. Her fist crashed into
the modem.

  The library doors flew open. Oz ran in. "What's wrong??!" he demanded,
confused. Xander, Cordelia, and Giles all stood openmouthed, gaping at Willow.
Xander managed to point to Willow, and she continued her not-so-little
tantrum. Oz didn't even blink.

  He strode over to Willow, dodging the mousepad that was flung in his
direction. Before Willow could help the mouse follow its counterpart, Oz
grabbed her upper arms and turned her to face him.

  "Willow, Willow! What's up, cutie?" Oz asked lightly, forcing her to look
into his face. Willow's eyes were wide and angry.

  "The computer!" Willow hissed, trembling with rage. "I tried to get on the
Internet and-" Willow pulled away from Oz with another shriek. She turned
toward the computer.

  "Willow," Oz warned ominously. She paused. "You know that's school
property."

  Willow turned to face Oz, her face reddening with her anger.

  "You don't understand!" She shouted, advancing on Oz. "It wouldn't let me on
the Internet!" Oz stayed cool, even as Willow closed in on him. < Can anything
ruffle his feathers? > Willow wondered in the back of her mind. < Maybe we'll
just find out. >

  Oz raised his hand in surrender. "Can't you try again?" he asked. Willow
kept coming closer.

  "I tried again," Willow's decibel level returned to a more normal level,
causing Oz to relax prematurely. Her next words froze him in place. "20
times." Willow's voice was cool, as were her eyes. < Icy was more appropriate
> Oz thought. Willow took another step toward Oz. Only a foot of space
separated them now. Willow raised her arm and ran her hand down the side of
Oz's face. He remained absolutely still. Willow moved in on him and placed a
taunting kiss on his lips.

  Oz swallowed. Xander chose that moment to try to intervene. "Willow, come
on. It's just a computer," he soothed. His words grated on Willow's nerves.
She turned on Xander quickly.

  "Stay out of this, Xander!" she screamed. Oz felt his eardrums pop. < So
much for the decibel thing. > "Just a computer," she muttered, turning back to
Oz. Her eyes flashed. Strangely, Oz found this attractive (in some weird
werewolf sort of way). He smiled unconsciously.

  "You think this is funny??!" Willow's voice could've been heard from the
football stadium (wasn't there one in "Some Assembly Required"?).

  "No," Oz growled, rubbing his ears. < I guess I'm tired of playing games. >
Oz gritted his teeth. "Sit down!" he ordered in a voice that demanded Willow
obey. She did. Willow looked up at Oz with surprised eyes. Then her eyes
filled with tears.

  "I want my Internet!" Willow wailed pitifully. She sobbed into her hands.

  Oz looked over her head to Xander and Cordelia and Giles. He face asked them
what was wrong. Xander raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Cordy was staring at
Willow like she'd sprouted fangs and a "game face". Giles looked on
helplessly. He anxiously took off his glasses, played with them for a second,
then placed them back on their precarious position on his nose.

  Oz patted Willow's back comfortingly. She looked up at him, tears still
streaking down her face. Her eyelashes were matted with tears. Then her mouth
opened in a silent scream and her eyes widened with fright, staring at
something behind Oz.

  Oz turned around quickly, expecting a scary monster of some kind, but saw
nothing. He glanced carefully at Willow again. She continued to stare at a
spot behind Oz. The others looked around the room but saw nothing.

  "Miss Calendar?" Willow asked shakily. The group in the library looked at
Willow in shock. Giles' face noticeably paled, and his hands began to shake.
Cordy moved closer to Xander, who placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

  "Is it really you?" Willow's voice was now reduced to a whisper. She saw the
faint figure of Miss Calendar step toward her.

  "It's me. In a way." Willow watched the ex-computer teacher walk past her to
the computer and gently run her hand over the top of the monitor. "Is
something wrong with the computer?" Miss C. asked quietly.

  Willow shook her head 'no', wiping her face with her hands. "The phone lines
are too busy, and it won't let me get on the Internet!" Willow felt her spunk
returning. "I just wanted to get on the Internet!" Willow stood and took her
place at the computer. She sank into her comfy chair.

  "Try one more time, Willow, for my sake," the almost invisible Miss C. said
patiently.

  "Okay." Willow logged onto the Internet in less than a minute. "Hey, it
worked!" she exclaimed happily. "Miss Calendar it worked!" she turned to look
at the teacher but Miss C. was already gone. Vanished.

  Willow's face fell, but then she slowly turned to the computer and a smile
brightened her face. The other four occupants of the library looked at each
other with raised eyebrows. They shook their heads and tried to clear their
brains.

  Had any of that really happened? Or had the last hour been all a dream? Will
they ever know the truth? Willow surely won't tell.


The end



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: sah <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: ADMIN:  List rules
Date: 28 Apr 1998 10:52:36 -0400

Welcome!  This list is for fiction related to "Buffy The Vampire
Slayer," both the TV series and the movie.  To ensure that we all get
to enjoy as much fiction as possible, please adhere to the following
guidelines, and please save them for future reference.

1. Fiction should have Buffy characters in it and clearly be related
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NatPack * Jungle Patrol * Bishop * Bossy the Lost Dwarf * BTVS Listowner
"I feel nauseous.  What is this world coming to, that a perfectly nice,
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can suddenly start watching 7th Heaven and planning FIC, for Elvis' sake?"
                                                    --jk



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Mark Jones" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:  That Night  [By Rach Jones]
Date: 29 Apr 1998 17:59:57 +0100

OK û I have decided to send this poem to you all before I send the rest of
my story, I HAVE to know what you think about this!!!  So please, please,
please tell me, I donÆt mind what you say, any comments or questions will be
greatly appreciated û and replied to!

[e-mail]  Please send stuff to that address not the
Mark Jones one above!!

Thank you for reading all of that waffle, and now I present to you my first
ever Buffy poem and the first poem of mine that I have allowed people to
read!!  Enjoy:


THAT  NIGHT

The sun set,
The wind howled,
The vampires rose.

æNew ones obviouslyÆ
All four were dead,
But something remainedà

The rain began to fall,
The temperature dropped,
The place felt different.

æWhat is out there?Æ
A foot crunched on the leaves,
They were comingà

The feet crunched again,
The noise getting louder,
The Slayer was worried.

æWho could it be?Æ
A hand came down on her shoulder,
She jumped and turnedà

The hand was death but comforting,
The face was cold yet inviting,
The Slayer felt cold but warm.

ôWhere have you been?ö
ôLooking for youö
ôWell, IÆve found you nowö

The wind was gone,
The Slayer felt happy,
They would always be together,
In life and death,
Buffy and Angel.





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Blu2cool <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Must Be the Weather (a Spike story) (1/2)
Date: 28 Apr 1998 16:50:33 EDT

    I felt like I was suffocating, even though I didn't really breath. I was
torn up with jealousy, and I forced myself to hide it form Angelus and Dru. If
he knew...well, let's just leave it at he'd torment me even more, if that was
possible.

  So every day while Dru and Angelus slept I crept (as much as on can creep in
a wheelchair) to the farthest corner of the warehouse and made use of my legs.
I pushed myself as far over the edge as I dared, ignoring the pain when it
wasn't enough to make me faint. I fought with myself, using rage and jealousy
as my weapons, making them the strength with which I could go on walking. And
after I could walk, I paced. For hours on end, I paced, rebuilding the muscles
the Slayer had so carelessly destroyed. I still played the part of a cripple,
though, and pretended to ignore the way Angelus and MY Dru kept leaving
together for the hunt. They never asked me to go with them. If they would've
I'd have jumped up and exclaimed, "Let's get to it then!"

  And I paced. Until the Plan came to me one day when I was angrier than
usual. Angelus and Dru had stayed out all night last night. The Plan was
brilliant. Get the help of the Slayer to kill Angelus. Surely I could talk her
into it, make her believe that all I wanted was to get rid of him. Then Dru
would be mine and only mine.

  The next night I waited anxiously for Angelus and Dru to leave for the hunt.
Finally they did, without a backward glance. A whisper of a growl escaped my
lips. Once this was over...I never allowed myself to finish that thought.

  I quickly dismissed all the "servants" as Dru tended to call them. Then in
an instant I was on my feet and outside. I had missed the cold chill of the
nights...I allowed a small smile to play on my face for a brief moment.

  I found Buffy in the graveyard, just where I expected her to be. I didn't
approach her from the open, I wasn't fool enough to think I was back to full
strength yet. I watched as she paced back and forth. Stalked would have been a
better word for it. I wondered if I looked this angry when I paced.

  The Slayer was ready when a small female vampire flew from a new grave,
staking it in a few seconds. I made my move.

  I was behind her before she could sense my presence. I pinned her arms to
her sides in a quick movement. She froze. I carefully guarded my game face,
not wanted her to get the wrong impression (author's note: is there a right
impression of vampires?).

  "Slayer," I greeted cheerfully. Buffy tried to head-bang me but I was ready
for that and dodged it.

  "What do you want?" Buffy hissed angrily.

  "Not you, don't worry," I murmured near her ear. "Not tonight." I moved my
face within biting range. Then I released the Slayer in a very risky venture.
She turned to me prepared to fight. I shoved my hands in my jacket pockets,
another dangerous thing to do. Buffy let her stance relax slightly. She
glanced around the graveyard.

  "Where are all your minions?" she asked suspiciously.

  "They're at home, watching Interview with a Vampire and making jokes about
Brad Pitt." When all else fails, try humor. Buffy tried to hide a smile, but I
saw it first. I slowly smiled in return.

  "So...what do you want?" Buffy asked me, replacing a stake in her jacket
sleeve.

  "Dru." My answer was curt. Buffy's brows furrowed in an amusing way.

  "I thought you already had her," she commented, now thoroughly confused. A
good thing, in my eyes.

  "Not anymore," I said, sitting down on a nearby bench. My legs weren't going
to last me much longer. < I just hope this works. > "Not since Angelus came
back," I stated vehemently.

  "You want to get rid of Angel?" she asked, disbelief written all over her
face.

  I nodded gravely. "Ever since he killed that teacher, he's been really
cocky." I purposely pushed the sore spot. "And he's taken Dru away from me."

  Buffy bristled. < Good girl. >

  "Don't you want to get rid of him, once and for all?" I asked slowly, ready
to bolt should Buffy decide she didn't like what I was saying. Her shoulders
slumped weakly. The Slayer nodded sadly.

  "But I can't seem to do it on my own," Buffy admitted with a frown.

  "I have a plan," I offered casually.

  "I'm listening." She wiped her hand across her eyes.

  "If they see us together, you and me, they'll go nuts. Dru's very
possessive," I added for Buffy's benefit.

  "So's Angel," Buffy muttered. She took a step closer to me. "But do you
really think seeing us together would distract them enough for us to get the
jump on him?"

  I hedged. "Well, uh...that is...um..." Buffy glared at me. "We'd have to do
more than just be seen together."

  "Like how much more?" Buffy's voice came as close to a growl as any human's
I've ever heard- living, that is.

  I cleared my throat, watching the Slayer closely, should she up and decide
to stake me. "Like kissing more," I said softly.

  Buffy's eyes showed her disgust, although her face remained neutral.
Something inside of me got a sharp pain. "Just one kiss?" Buffy asked
reluctantly.

  I nodded quickly, before she changed her mind. "Only one."

  "And how do I know you aren't setting me up? That this isn't some elaborate
trap?"

  I stood and turned to go. "You'll just have to trust me."

  "Easier said than done," I heard her mutter. "What if you're thinking of
killing two birds with one stone and killing both me and Angelus?" Buffy
called out. She jogged a few feet to catch up with me.

  "Meet me tomorrow at sunset at the front of the warehouse, if you're in.
I'll dismiss the 'minions' and then open the door for you, as soon as Angelus
and Dru leave." I stopped walking and turned to her. "Oh, and wear
something..."

  Buffy got my meaning. "Right," she said sarcastically. And I walked away,
leaving the Slayer in the cemetary. I couldn't do this without her, killing
Angelus. I needed her help. And that chilled my bones.
*******

  Sunset. Dru and Angelus left quickly, and I immediately sent all the
'servants' out with a request to bring me back three young women. For them,
the task would take all night. I knew they would return just an hour before
sunrise. It was typical of them.

  I opened the door carefully, to find Buffy pacing in front of it. I really
would have to talk to her about that particular habit. I stepped back
courteously and the Slayer walked in warily. She glanced around the room.

  "They're all gone," I informed her, walking around her to one of the chairs.
I sat to conserve my strength.

  I examined the Slayer. She wore a long black coat, hiding everything else
beneath it.

  "Well..." Buffy murmured, looking uncomfortable. Extremely uncomfortable. I
tried not to grin.

  "Something to drink?" I asked. I motioned at the table before me. Crystal
tumblers and a large crystal pitcher graced it's top.

  Buffy walked over to the table, keeping as far away from me as she could.
"Wonderful," she whispered. "Glass things for me to break when I fight."

  I laughed aloud. This Slayer was too much fun! Buffy shot a startled look at
me. I grinned at her. "Planning on wearing your coat all night?" I asked
offhand. The Slayer flushed slightly, but shed her coat immediately. I gulped
when I glimpsed her dress. It was midnight blue, and sleeveless. It was flared
from the waist down, and short, showing off a *lot* of Buffy's skin.

  I was not able to think of anything else intelligent enough to say. < No
wonder Angelus fell for her. > Buffy placed her coat on the table.

  "It was the only one I had that I didn't mind ruining. I ruin whatever I
fight in," she admitted with a laugh. She tugged at the hemline of her dress.
"So what exactly *is* the plan?"

  I stood and pulled my wheelchair out from the corner of the room. "Dru and
Angelus have no idea that I can walk," I said guiltily. "They won't be
expecting me to help you."

  Buffy nodded her assent. She crossed her arms and leaned lazily against the
table. I knew that it was a front. But a very good one. This Slayer wasn't
lowering her guard for a moment. She knew me all too well. "So what time are
our elusive hunters expected to return?"

  I paced across the floor and back again. "Not for another hour at least."

  Buffy sat down on top of the table and crossed her legs. My eyes traveled to
her half-boots half-heels. < How can she even fight in those? > I forced
myself to tear my eyes away from her. Buffy picked up the pitcher from the
table and examined its deep purple contents carefully. "What is it?" she asked
me curiously.

  "It's grape juice," I replied, pacing over to one of the boxes nearby where
I had hidden a few stakes. I took them out and over to the table. I noticed
Buffy hadn't served herself a drink. < She probably thinks I poisoned it. > I
laid the stakes down. The Slayer nodded. She pulled three of her own out of
some recess of her clothing.

  "I always come prepared." I shook my head in amusement. Here we were. We had
been having a conversation for over an hour, a vampire and a Slayer and
neither one of us had tried to kill the other. < Must be the weather. >

  I checked my watch. "Twenty more minutes." Buffy jumped up and joined my in
my pacing. She looked about ready to burst. < I guess hanging with Angelus
hasn't cured her nervousness around vampires any. >

  Together we paced until only five minutes remained before Dru and Angelus
would return. Quickly I hid the stakes in a pocket on my chair. I sat down and
motioned Buffy over to me. She questioned me with her eyes.

  "Come here," I commanded. Buffy obeyed slowly. "They'll be back any minute,"
I told her. I sat down in the wheelchair. Buffy stood awkwardly in front of
me. "Come here!" I pretended exasperation. In reality I was worried about what
we were getting ready to do. Especially Angelus' reaction. If the suspense
didn't kill me, he would sure try. I reached out and pulled Buffy into my lap.
She huffed angrily.

  "When you hear the door open, kiss me," I mumbled. If I had had any blood in
my veins, it would've all been gathered in my cheeks at this moment.

  Buffy adjusted her position on my lap. I felt the chair tilt sideways and
shifted my weight to compensate. My ears picked up on the faint sound of
footsteps. "That's them," I hissed. My stomach flip-flopped. Buffy nodded, not
looking at me, and leaned closer. I heard the footsteps coming closer and
closer and then they stopped. I pulled Buffy's head down to mine. I listened
as the door opened and Angelus and Dru walked in. Buffy's arms were wrapped
tightly around my neck. I could feel her hands shaking. The kiss ended soon
enough, when an outraged scream was heard from across the room. Angelus was
fairly shaking with rage. Drusilla stood behind him, staring openmouthed at
the two of us.

  "Angel!" Buffy exclaimed, pretending guilt. "What are you doing here?" She
hopped off my lap and went to stand beside me.

  "Spike!" Angelus roared. I flinched at the tone of his voice. "Just what do
you think you are doing?!" His volume remained that of a bugling elk. He took
two steps closer to us.

  "I was just having some fun," I drawled as calmly as I could. I had never
seen Angelus this angry before. I tugged Buffy closer. She leaned down and
placed another kiss on my lips for good measure, surprising me. Dru let out a
shriek and came flying at us. Buffy sidestepped and pulled me out of the way
with her. She pretended to support me, and slipped me a stake.

  Now both Angelus and Dru were coming at us. I quit faking and pulled Dru out
of the way while Angelus went after Buffy. He was so distracted with his rage
that he didn't even notice as the stake was plunged straight in his heart.
With an unearthly scream he was reduced to a pile of dust.

  Dru pulled away from me with another shriek and lunged for the Slayer. I
snagged the back of her dress and shouted Buffy's name. She quickly looked at
me, tears running down her face and bolted from the warehouse, not bothering
to take her coat with her. I held Dru back until she was far enough away that
Dru couldn't possibly catch her, and then released my hold. Dru fell, weeping
hysterically, to the floor over Angelus' ashes. I watched her for as long as I
could bear and then turned and fled.

  < My Dru doesn't love me anymore. > I ran through the streets, not caring
where I went. Nothing would soothe me now. Then I saw a bent figure sitting on
a swing at the park playground. The Slayer. I walked quietly over to her.

  "Hey," I said, taking a step to the left, so as not to get hit with that
stake she threw at me.

  "Don't do that!" Buffy exclaimed. I retrieved her stake for her. "Thanks."

  "Why so blue, Slayer?" I asked. I leaned against a nearby pole, almost
forgetting what I had been running from.

  Buffy's face fell. "I just kept hoping there would be some way to get him
back," she muttered sadly. She looked up at me. "Why are you upset? I thought
you'd be back having a PART-ay with Drusilla."

  I looked away. "Unfortunately, Dru wasn't in the partying mood. She's not
the same, since..."

  "I know how she feels." Buffy stood up, and stretched lazily. "I need to get
home..."

  "The sun is about to come up." I stayed where I was. This was the second
time in one day I had been close to the Slayer and hadn't even had an urge to
kill her. < Am I losing my touch? >

  I watched the Slayer walk off, then headed off in my own direction. I didn't
return to the warehouse. I was too afraid to face Dru. Instead I holed up in
the sewers. And paced.
***********

  The next evening, as soon as the sun was safely down, I crept back to the
warehouse like a dog with it's tail between its legs. I didn't go in, actually
I didn't even get near it. Hysterical weeping could be heard blocks away.
Shamefaced, I turned and ran away.
***********

  Dawn announced itself with streaks of pink across the sky. I reconsidered on
last time what I was doing. This rooftop of one of Sunnydale's many downtown
stores provided no cover from the sunlight. I glanced around. The streets were
deserted, no one would see me go. I closed my eyes for a brief second and
wished that things were different. Nothing had turned out right. I wasn't
supposed to fall for the Slayer, or have Dru NOT accept me back. True, Angel
was out of the picture, but the sadness of the two women who meant the most to
me had ruined any joy I could have gotten out of his death- er, destruction.

  I ran a hand through my short hair and felt the first rays of the sun burn
my skin. I panted in pain and gritted my teeth. A startled shriek behind me
told me I had been spotted. No matter. In minutes I would be no more. Strong
hands lifted me and roughly pulled me inside a metal door. It clanged closed.

  "No," I mumbled, hardly coherent anymore.

  "What do you think you were doing?" a familiar, and loved, voice demanded.
Buffy sat down, holding me up. We were in a dark stairwell. The air was cool.

  "Isn't it obvious?" I tried to move away from her but she held me still.

  "Then you probably should've tried it on a different roof. This is my
mother's art store. Not a good place to commit suicide. Especially when I'm
here."

  I realized my mistake. Now I had to escape. If only I could reach the door.
In my heart I knew I would do whatever she asked me. < Stupid muscle > Buffy
looked at the burns on my face and hands. She looked confused as to why she
had just saved a vampire. Then she shrugged.

  "I never learn my lessons soon enough," she murmured, leaning toward me. I
searched her face for any signs of the disgust she had displayed before. There
was none.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: DISCUSS: BUFFYFIC: Must Be the Weather (a Spike story) (1/2)
Date: 28 Apr 1998 18:51:48 -0400

Do it again! Do it again!

-Ingrid

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: JMHnoodles <[e-mail]>
Subject: DISCUSS: BUFFYFIC: Must Be the Weather (a Spike story) (1/2)
Date: 28 Apr 1998 19:05:06 EDT

Oooh, I like it! Get the next part out, fast!

  Jen



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Showing Instead of Telling, & Other Stuff
Date: 28 Apr 1998 19:42:06 EDT

Okay. Now, I know I've only been on this list for, oh, say, under a week, but
I was just wondering...it seems to me, in a lot of the fic I've been reading,
that people do an awful lot of "telling" instead of "showing". Yes, I've seen
exceptions to this, so *please* no one take offense-- because even that fic
which I've thought could use some work was very, very well done.

But basically, what I'm wondering is the amount of writing experience the
writers here have. I like critiquing people's work, and so far from what I've
seen people on the list want critiques...I just kinda need to know if I should
be looking for very, very broad things like continuity or if I should be
looking for the more nitpicky (but extremely effective where storytelling is
concerned) things like dialects and accents and thoughts.

To address one thing, just very broadly, the idea of "telling" instead of
"showing". In all the writing classes I've taken, one of the first things
drilled into our heads was "Show, don't tell." This philosophy is illustrated
by the following.

~

Number 1 is an example of "telling".
      Spike was annoyed that Dru was being a pest, but he didn't show it.

Number 2, an example of "showing":
     Spike sighed, biting back his initial impulse to push Dru's hand out of
the way. "C'mon, love," he said through his teeth, "you know I 'aven't got
time f'that sort've thing."
     Dru's expression shifted to a pout, and she cradled her doll close,
protectively. "But Spiiiike," she whined-- (Spike winced. Whining, his Dru! He
cursed inwardly, wishing there were a  tactful way to tell her to shut up
without hurting her feelings--) "Spike, I want you to come an' play wit' me
an' Miss Emily. She wants a tea party."
     "No, Dru."
     "Spike--"
     "Pet," he said, picking his words slowly and meticulously, "I think it'd
be best if you didn't insist upon that right now, s'that sound all right,
then, love?"
     Dru looked at him for a moment, then turned and skipped out of the room.
The moment she was out of sight, Spike let out a breath he had barely realized
he'd been holding in. He rubbed his hand over his chin, shaking his head
slowly. *Much as I love her,* he thought, *sometimes...* The thought trailed
off, though, unfinished, and Spike turned back to the work he'd been doing.

~

Obviously, "2" takes a lot more time to do than "1", but the end result is
definately a more engaging sort of writing, IMHO.

Anyway. I realize I'm quite running at the mouth here, and hope you all will
forgive me...I just thought maybe I could bring up a couple quick points that
would *really* improve some of the writing I've seen on the list in the past
week or so that I've been around. Responses welcome, I'd like to see what some
other people have to say about this.

My $.02
(tho I prolly spent that quite a while back)

Rachel



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Blu2cool <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: DISCUSS: BUFFYFIC: Must Be the Weather (a Spike story) (1/2)
Date: 28 Apr 1998 21:25:10 EDT

In a message dated 4/28/98, [e-mail] writes:

> Do it again! Do it again!

That's the most enthusiastic response I have gotten so far. ::giggles:: I'll
have the next part up as soon I can. I promise. Thanks to all you guys who
have given me positive feedback, I love getting it!

Blu
[e-mail]



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: JMHnoodles <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Showing Instead of Telling, & Other Stuff
Date: 28 Apr 1998 23:08:08 EDT

In a message dated 98-04-28 19:44:03 EDT, you write:

<< Okay. Now, I know I've only been on this list for, oh, say, under a week,
but
 I was just wondering...it seems to me, in a lot of the fic I've been reading,
 that people do an awful lot of "telling" instead of "showing". Yes, I've seen
 exceptions to this, so *please* no one take offense-- because even that fic
 which I've thought could use some work was very, very well done. >>

I'd have to say that I completely agreed with everything Rachel said. I heard
a really, really good saying once: "Never write anything you wouldn't be
ashamed to have read aloud at your funeral." If you're going to bother to
write something and share it with others, you *should* pay attention to the
nitpicky little things like accents and character types and such. Take the
time to flesh things out. When you write dialogue, think hard, "Is this
something this character would say? Would he/she say it this way?" I've only
posted one fic to this board and I've begun to post another to the Slayer
Fanfic site (I'm kinda apprehensive about sending it here). Guess how many I
have saved in my computer? About 20. I won't post them, I don't think they're
good enough. BE YOUR OWN WORST CRITIC.

I often don't write feedback because I won't lie to people. Just make the
story as true to form as it possibly can be! :-)

Jen
(who has used up her all her 2 centses for the rest of this life,a nd probably
many after)

PS- And for Pete's sake, have someone spell- and grammar-check your fics.
PPS- I'm going to start critiquing things now.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Bitten" (1/1) by Ingrid
Date: 28 Apr 1998 23:09:39 -0400

Disclaimer: Cordelia Xander, and Buffy are the property
of Wheedon, the WB, Sandollar, Kuzui, and M. E. No
infringement intended. "The Phantom of the Opera" is
the Webber peoplesÆ thingy! Again, nothing is mine! IÆm
just an unoriginal hack!

Summary: Wow! Everybody who liked the last ep. a whole
lot, raise your hand!! Three cheers for Spike, the man!
Anyway, the *one* element the episode lacked (for me,
anyway,) was real Cordy emotion. So consider this an add
on to "I have Eyes Only for You." A vignette, if you will.

SPOILERS: As you may have guessed, there *are* spoilers
for to "I have Eyes Only for You." TheyÆre pretty minimal,
if you ask me.

***
"Bitten," by Ingrid
***

CordeliaÆs reflection stared back at her anxiously through the
mirror as she peeled the gauze from her cheek. The two red holes
were still thereà like a vampireÆs kiss.

She shuddered.

It had been horrible. SheÆd always harbored a special fear of
snakes in the recesses of her mind ever since the third-grade
science fair. BobbyÆs project had tipped over, and thereÆd been
glass and snakes everywhere. ThatÆs why sheÆd dumped him on
the spot. Even with the bite mark on her ankle, sheÆd managed
to march out of the gym looking dignified. True, sheÆd collapsed
in the hall after about 2 steps outside, but only Harmony had seen
that.

The mark on her ankle was barely visible, and she always wore
socks now. God forbid bare feet came into fashion again.

Now she had two tremendous bloody marks on her face, and no
amount of makeup was going to help her out. She grimaced and
touched near one of the wounds. Her hand snapped back at the pain
she felt. Reluctantly, she looked back up at the mirror. She covered
the right side of her face with her hand and wondered whether masks
might suddenly become the trend of the moment. She was thinking
of something in the way of "The Phantom of the Opera."

What the hell did she care, anyway, she thought, wincing as she
re-affixed the bandage. It wasnÆt like her popularity was soaring
these days, anyway. SheÆd hardly spoken to any of her friends since
the love-spell disaster, and sheÆd been eating lunch with Buffy.

She didnÆt feel like the same person, even when sheÆd brushed her hair
and touched up her lipstick. No amount she could apply would conceal
the fact that her life was changing. Who she was was changing. A part
of her screamed against it, disgusted with anything in her that would
condescend to the life sheÆd been leading for the past month-and-a-half.

But there was something that wasnÆt protesting at all- something that
enjoyed hunting for the latest demon, joining in the juvenile banter in
the library.

Literally coming out of the closet with Xander.

She patted the patch on her face and smiled suddenly. She looked
ridiculous. The crumpled up bandage was loosing its adhesive, barely
dangling on her face. Her overly red lipstick made her look like sheÆd
been eating too many ice-pops, and that smile was definitely a foolÆs
smile.

So let there be a scar.

Let there be something to mark this point in her life. So even if she
turned around, sheÆd remember it when she looked in the mirror.

She wiped off her lipstick and left the room.

***
FIN. Short and sweet. Comments apprectiated. And for those of you
wondering if IÆm ever gonna finish "Reunion," IÆd like to assure you
that IÆm trying. Really! I have SATÆs this weekend. Just give me time,
okay?


_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (tj thwaites)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Rope -- poem (1/1) by tj thwaites
Date: 28 Apr 1998 23:41:55 -0600


Title: The Rope
Author: tj thwaites
E-mail: [e-mail]
Classification: poem
Spoilers: none
Summary: Buffy's POV, thoughts one morning after another run in with Angelus.
Disclaimer: Buffy belongs to the great God Joss (tj genuflects humbly).


The Rope

The end of my rope is very near.
I can feel it in my bones.
I'm draining the last of my reserves
And my strength begins to fail.
I wonder if I can go on
If I have the will to live.

I know I can't go on this way.
I don't know what to do.
But can I take the final path
And end my woes right now?
Can this be my one and final friend?
Will it ease the pain?

My troubles will definitely come to an end.
But what about the others?
I am not a desert island in the sea,
Though I sometimes feel that way.
I am still connected to the world
And those others-they would not know

That I have reached the end of my will.
And have nowhere to turn.
But somehow, I find solace in these words
That I place upon this page.
And as the dawn lights up my room
The new day cheers me up.

And to my surprise there is a huge knot
At the end of my rope
To which to hang with tooth and nail
And gather new strength
For the long climb back up to the world.
Then the mirror smiles back.


End


Author's Note: I wrote this poem ten years ago during a really rough patch
of real life. But I think it could apply to Buffy.

Feedback welcome at [e-mail].
Flames will be used to heat my hot chocolate.

ta,

tj


Noel:"Disappointment doesn't kill."
Abby:"Right. Rejection kills. Disappointment only maims."
          -- "The Truth About Cats and Dogs"

If you can keep your head when those about you are losing theirs,you
obviously don't know what's going on.

Your heart is where your duty lies, your head is just along to help with
the driving.

An optimist sees the glass half full
A pessimist sees the glass half empty
And a realist understands that soon he's going to have to wash the glass


     @-}-}--          tj thwaites          @-}-}--
     @-}-}--       [e-mail]      @-}-}--
     @-}-}--  Box 2890, Banff, AB, T0L 0C0 @-}-}--






-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (tj thwaites)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Huntress -- poem (1/1) by tj thwaites
Date: 28 Apr 1998 23:42:04 -0600


Title: The Huntress
Author: tj thwaites
E-mail: [e-mail]
Classification: poem
Spoilers: none
Summary: Angel's POV, try reading this from both perspectives- Angel with a
soul, and post S/I Angelus returned.
Disclaimer: Angel belongs to the great God Joss (tj genuflects humbly).


The Huntress

The Huntress,
So beautiful,
A tigress stalking her prey;
She waits
So patiently.
She sizes up the herd,
And singles out
Her victim.
From across the bar
I see her;
Dressed in black,
Dressed to kill.
She moves,
The hunt begins
He stands no chance.
She knows all the tricks.
All too soon
He's hers.
And she gloats
She feeds
Her own lusts
Without thought,
Or care.
And my own inner demons
Applaud.


Feedback welcome at [e-mail].
Flames will be used to heat my hot chocolate.

ta,

tj


Noel:"Disappointment doesn't kill."
Abby:"Right. Rejection kills. Disappointment only maims."
          -- "The Truth About Cats and Dogs"

If you can keep your head when those about you are losing theirs,you
obviously don't know what's going on.

Your heart is where your duty lies, your head is just along to help with
the driving.

An optimist sees the glass half full
A pessimist sees the glass half empty
And a realist understands that soon he's going to have to wash the glass


     @-}-}--          tj thwaites          @-}-}--
     @-}-}--       [e-mail]      @-}-}--
     @-}-}--  Box 2890, Banff, AB, T0L 0C0 @-}-}--






-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Critique -- "Bitten" (1/1) by Ingrid
Date: 29 Apr 1998 09:11:01 EDT

In a message dated 98-04-28 23:18:32 EDT, [e-mail] writes:
Okee-ay. I hope Ingrid won't mind, but I'm going to critique this one
publically, just to give more of a feeling of what I meant when I said showing
instead of telling and such. (And Ingrid, before you panic-- I *like* this
one, it's definally an example of what someone *SHOULD* do when writing, and
not what they shouldn't!)

>***
>"Bitten," by Ingrid
>***
>
>CordeliaÆs reflection stared back at her anxiously through the
>mirror as she peeled the gauze from her cheek. The two red holes
>were still thereà like a vampireÆs kiss.
>
>She shuddered.
>
>It had been horrible. SheÆd always harbored a special fear of
>snakes in the recesses of her mind ever since the third-grade
>science fair. BobbyÆs project had tipped over, and thereÆd been
>glass and snakes everywhere. ThatÆs why sheÆd dumped him on
>the spot. Even with the bite mark on her ankle, sheÆd managed
>to march out of the gym looking dignified. True, sheÆd collapsed
>in the hall after about 2 steps outside, but only Harmony had seen
>that.

When I first read this, I paused a moment at the "that's why she'd dumped him
on the spot"-- after all, they were only in third grade! Then I took a second
or two to think about it, and realized that given the way Cordelia seems to
define herself by whose arm she's hanging off of, it makes absolutely perfect
sense, plus it exposes a little bit more character than we, the readers, knew
of before. The mention of Harmony (blonde friend, who she called a sheep,
right?) evokes the thought of all those cliques of girls you knew in
elementary school who somehow managed to carry their oh-so-shallow groups all
the way through to high school, getting tighter and tighter and more
nauseating with every step, so that's also a great way to establish more of
her character/experiences that make her who she is.

>The mark on her ankle was barely visible, and she always wore
>socks now. God forbid bare feet came into fashion again.

::grin:: Perfectly Cordie thought, too.

>Now she had two tremendous bloody marks on her face, and no
>amount of makeup was going to help her out. She grimaced and
>touched near one of the wounds. Her hand snapped back at the pain
>she felt. Reluctantly, she looked back up at the mirror. She covered
>the right side of her face with her hand and wondered whether masks
>might suddenly become the trend of the moment. She was thinking
>of something in the way of "The Phantom of the Opera."
>
>What the hell did she care, anyway, she thought, wincing as she
>re-affixed the bandage. It wasnÆt like her popularity was soaring
>these days, anyway. SheÆd hardly spoken to any of her friends since
>the love-spell disaster, and sheÆd been eating lunch with Buffy.

This is also good-- starting to delve more into her feelings, her emotions,
and how she's being impacted as far as her friendships with Buffy & co are
concerned. The way "and she'd been eating lunch with Buffy" is tacked on there
makes me wonder-- doesn't Buffy usually eat with Willow? I'd have to go back
and check the tape from last night to make sure, but I think Buffy might have
been sitting with or near Willow and Xander. Continuity's TRES important,
coming from sQ fandom I've had that one beaten into my head soooo many times.
Which is why I recommend that writers do their best to check their facts. And
in this case, if Buffy *does* eat with Will and Xander, then maybe adjusting
Cordelia's thought to something like "and she'd been eating lunch with Buffy
and the dork-patrol" or something like that might work even more. Especially
if you can figure on a way to make it clear that Cordelia's not so sure that
she considers the "dork patrol" to be *quite* as dorky as she thought they
were @ the beginning of the year.

>She didnÆt feel like the same person, even when sheÆd brushed her hair
>and touched up her lipstick. No amount she could apply would conceal
>the fact that her life was changing. Who she was was changing. A part

Changing into?

>of her screamed against it, disgusted with anything in her that would
>condescend to the life sheÆd been leading for the past month-and-a-half.

Again, this is a great Cordelia reaction-- self-disgust from the fact that
suddenly she's hanging out with a bunch of total _losers_, heck, she's DATING
one of them, and actually letting herself be _seen_ with the other, and so on,
and so on... :)

>But there was something that wasnÆt protesting at all- something that
>enjoyed hunting for the latest demon, joining in the juvenile banter in
>the library.

<g> And that's the clincher-- she does seem to be having a lot more fun than
she "should" be having, given how she's behaved toward Xander and Willow in
the past, and the fact that being buds with Buffy's prolly not that wonderful
for her image.

>Literally coming out of the closet with Xander.

::falls on the floor laughing:: Loveit. Great turn of phrase. <g> Maybe add a
"Several times." to the end of it, tho it also stands fine on its own. <g>

>She patted the patch on her face and smiled suddenly. She looked
>ridiculous. The crumpled up bandage was loosing its adhesive, barely
>dangling on her face. Her overly red lipstick made her look like sheÆd
>been eating too many ice-pops, and that smile was definitely a foolÆs
>smile.

And the reader can just *see* her mentally casting off the feeling of "Oy, I'm
being such a LOSER!" in favor of the "But what the hell, it's FUN!" feeling.

>So let there be a scar.
>
>Let there be something to mark this point in her life. So even if she
>turned around, sheÆd remember it when she looked in the mirror.
>
>She wiped off her lipstick and left the room.

Perfect ending. Cordelia's breaking down her walls, letting herself get away
from the constant "image image image" way that her life has been going for
forever, now.

>FIN. Short and sweet. Comments apprectiated.

::claps:: Comments given. Wonderful piece. :)

>And for those of you
>wondering if IÆm ever gonna finish "Reunion," IÆd like to assure you
>that IÆm trying. Really! I have SATÆs this weekend. Just give me time,
>okay?

Luck!

And Ingrid, again, I hope you don't mind that I've made a sort of example of
your work here. I really did enjoy it, and thought there were a lot of people
on the list who could benefit from seeing a thourough critique of something
not written expressly for the purpose of demonstrating an example.

Rachel



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Leslie S." <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Showing Instead of Telling, & Other
Date: 29 Apr 1998 06:24:59 PDT

Rachel made some great points with her post.  I am, however, wondering
if people wanting feedback are looking for public feedback, hoping for
praises and smiles, or are they truly interested in more of a "critique"
of their writing.  Also if an actual critique is wanted, does the writer
want his or her laundry aired in public??

A while ago I posted a suggestion about posting "common" writing
problems to the list.  (ex. "your" does not equal "you are", for that
you want the contraction "you're")  Of course I was not nearly as
eloquent as Rachel, but the underlying idea is the same.

General suggestions should be posted to the list.  I want to be a better
writer, and I would probably keep "telling" instead of "showing" had
that point not been made.

Maybe the next point to be made should be about punctuation.  (But what
do I know???  I think purple socks go with everything!!)

Leslie



______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Showing Instead of Telling, & Other    Stuff
Date: 29 Apr 1998 09:47:35 EDT

In a message dated 98-04-29 09:30:22 EDT, [e-mail] writes:

>Rachel made some great points with her post.  I am, however, wondering
>if people wanting feedback are looking for public feedback, hoping for
>praises and smiles, or are they truly interested in more of a "critique"
>of their writing.  Also if an actual critique is wanted, does the writer
>want his or her laundry aired in public??

Which is one reason I decided to do Ingrid's piece-- because it really was
_well_ written, and there were only one or two things I think I pointed out
that could have been checked/improved on. Perhaps writers could post something
in the headers of their work-- "Comments" being a sort of "I liked it" thing,
and then "critique" being the more intensive sort of thing? I also think it's
extremely important to offer *constructive* feedback. Okay, so maybe somebody
did something and you think it could have been improved upon-- but *tell them
how you think it could be better*. The same goes the other way-- if you like
something, tell a writer _why_. I've had people look at my work and say they
loved it, and not known what about it made it good-- was it a certain phrase,
a piece of info, etc? The flip is also true-- I've had people completely rip
into my work but not tell me how to fix it. I don't think you should put words
into people's pens/mouths/keys, but give them a hint, like an "Oh, I think
maybe Cordelia should go dancing with the hot guy and then feel guilty and go
back to Xander, instead of her just flat-out saying she has a boyfriend and no
thanks" sort of thing.

>A while ago I posted a suggestion about posting "common" writing
>problems to the list.  (ex. "your" does not equal "you are", for that
>you want the contraction "you're")  Of course I was not nearly as
>eloquent as Rachel, but the underlying idea is the same.

Yeah- and the underlying idea is basically just PROOFREAD PROOFREAD PROOFREAD!
Have your friends read your work! Tell them to scribble all over printed
copies, then _take their suggestions to heart_. You don't necessarily need to
follow every suggestion someone gives, but at the same time, it's also
important to really think about every idea someone gives you. Maybe the story
_would_ be stronger if Cordelia went and danced with the hot guy, then saw
Xander looking sad and rejected by the side and politely excused herself.
Maybe that would show off more of how she's not a completely shallow person.
Get my drift? :)

Or, if you want to keep her turning down the hot guy, then be prepared to
defend it when it's called into question. Or have her waver for a moment then
lean closer to Xander and make a point of saying she has a partner she's happy
with, etc-- and then have Xander say that he's impressed she's sticking by him
and have her shoot him a dirty look.

>General suggestions should be posted to the list.  I want to be a better
>writer, and I would probably keep "telling" instead of "showing" had
>that point not been made.

You're welcome. :) I'm glad to know that people are willing to listen. :)

>Maybe the next point to be made should be about punctuation.  (But what
>do I know???  I think purple socks go with everything!!)

::giggles:: Well, what point about punctuation? I haven't been paying close
attn, so this one is your point to make. :)

That'll be another quarter,
Rachel

:)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Blu2cool <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Showing Instead of Telling, & Other    Stuff
Date: 29 Apr 1998 13:11:31 EDT

Disclaimer: These are only one humble writer's opinions. I mean no personal
harm to anybody, sorry if I offend you.

OK. I SO have to jump onto the proverbial bandwagon here. I, personally,
thought that the first three or four people who wrote on this subject are
absolutely right in their opinions. However, I would like to add that I
thought this would discourage new fanfic writers from posting to the list. And
that would not be a good thing. So I am writing this letter to the writers as
a little encouragement. For every critique I have ever gotten there were at
least 4 letters that told me the opposite thing, which was: Your story is
great, it rocked, keep writing. I feel that the saying "Beauty is in the eyes
of the beholder" fits very well in this context. From my limited knowledge of
the human psyche (hey, I've only been around this world for 16 years) I know
that there are two major personality differences, the optimist, and the
pessimist. I'm not saying that any of you are pessimists. My analogy is that
there would be two ways of looking at fanfic, looking for everything that is
good in it, and looking for everything wrong with it. My advice to aspiring
writers: take criticisms with a grain of salt, but never stop believing in
your own works.

Blu
[e-mail]



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Showing Instead of Telling, & Other    Stuff
Date: 29 Apr 1998 13:46:06 EDT

In a message dated 98-04-29 13:14:34 EDT, [e-mail] writes:

>Disclaimer: These are only one humble writer's opinions. I mean no personal
>harm to anybody, sorry if I offend you.

Same applying to the reply. :)

>OK. I SO have to jump onto the proverbial bandwagon here. I, personally,
>thought that the first three or four people who wrote on this subject are
>absolutely right in their opinions. However, I would like to add that I
>thought this would discourage new fanfic writers from posting to the list.

Whoa! Hold on there! In what way does people trying to be helpful discourage
writers from posting? It shouldn't, because everyone who's posted on this
subject agreeing so far, as well as several private mails, have either said or
realized that in no way, shape, or form was anyone trying to discourage new
writers from trying. All I've said is that I feel people should put a little
more effort into making sure things are proofed, that things make sense, etc.
My first topic was just that I've noticed that a lot of people who tell
instead of showing, which is one of the first things you're taught *not* to do
as a serious writer.

Granted, there might only be a few people on this list who really want to be
"serious writers". But writing is a skill you need to learn how to do, no
matter what you're going to do in life.

No way am I trying to discourage anyone from posting to the list. I'm just
saying that before you post, make sure your story is the best you can possibly
make it. That's all anyone can ask for. Then, when people write to say things
they think could help you improve your writing, remember they are only trying
to help. Nobody's going to force you to write things you don't want to write,
and nobody is going to force anyone else to make changes to their fics.
Suggestions are just that -- SUGGESTIONS. Take 'em to heart.

>And
>that would not be a good thing. So I am writing this letter to the writers as
>a little encouragement. For every critique I have ever gotten there were at
>least 4 letters that told me the opposite thing, which was: Your story is
>great, it rocked, keep writing.

Two points:
1) "Critique" is not a bad word, nor does it have negative connotations. A
critique is simply comments and suggestions given about a piece of work.

2) Perhaps some people's goals as fanfic writers differ from other people's
goals. My goals are to better my writing and bring stories to life. I have
noticed that these are also the goals of quite a few other fic writers. A
comment that is all praise and ego-boosting is well and good, but one that
points out a little something that you could do as a writer to strengthen your
story is infinately more helpful as far as knowing what you're doing right or
wrong goes.

IN NO WAY am I advocating flames or nasty, unconstructive criticisms, here. I
have been the victim of those before, and it was a rather upsetting
experience. What I _am_ advocating is just that people take the time to offer
HONEST constructive criticism instead of giving fake ego-boosts that say
there's nothing wrong with a fic when it could use some improvement.

>I feel that the saying "Beauty is in the eyes
>of the beholder" fits very well in this context.

To a point, yes. Views of characters differ, and so will the way different
authors portray them. But saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and
using it as a way to shield oneself from any and all criticism is, well,
pointless. A writer might as well put "Ego-boosting only" under the "feedback"
slot at the heads of a lot of the fics posted here.

As far as professional authors go, Anne Rice and I *think* Tom Clancy both
have the clout not to have editors going through their work. I am a huge, huge
Rice fan, but I've been told by people who edit as a living that it's
incredibly obvious that she doesn't have anyone review her work before it's
published, as the finished stuff is chock full of errors. It's important to
remember that no piece of writing is ever truly finished, and there's always
something you can do to strengthen it.

> From my limited knowledge of
>the human psyche (hey, I've only been around this world for 16 years) I know
>that there are two major personality differences, the optimist, and the
>pessimist. I'm not saying that any of you are pessimists. My analogy is that
>there would be two ways of looking at fanfic, looking for everything that is
>good in it, and looking for everything wrong with it.

Not at all. I don't think there's a single person on this list whose work I've
said *only* something negative about. Every time I write someone a critique, I
do my best to find and tell them everything good about it I can, because
that's how they'll know what it is they're doing right. But I'm not going to
*not* mention something bad about something for the sole purpose of not
bruising somebody's fragile ego. I've been writing since I was in seventh
grade, and I know pretty well how hard it can be to take criticism sometimes.
But so long as a writer remembers that people aren't going to go _making
things up_ about a fic solely to hurt them, and every word written about a fic
is only there because its writer thought the author of the fic would benefit
from it, then I don't see why there should be any problem with authors getting
honest critiques instead of back-pats only.

>My advice to aspiring
>writers: take criticisms with a grain of salt, but never stop believing in
>your own works.

So long as taking criticism with a grain of salt doesn't mean saying, "it's my
sacred prose and only over my dead body will anybody make me change it", then
yes, I agree with you. But it's also important to be objecting (yes, I know
how hard _that_ is) and take a step back from the work you've just finished
and say, "Now that I've finished this, and done it best I can, here's
something somebody says might make it even better. Does it make sense and
would it help the story for me to follow this criticism, and if not, then why
is it better my way?" If you can't come up with reasons, ask a few other
people what they think.

Lord. I'm seriously running at the mouth (fingers?) today. Again, I hope
nobody is taking offense at any of this, because none of it is meant
offensively.

Rachel



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Showing Instead of Telling, & Other    Stuff
Date: 29 Apr 1998 13:56:27 EDT

In a message dated 98-04-29 13:52:03 EDT, [e-mail] writes:

>But it's also important to be objecting (yes, I know
>how hard _that_ is)

Ack! Typo! Objective. Sorry. <g>



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Rachel's critique of "Bitten"
Date: 29 Apr 1998 15:31:12 -0400

Rachel-

No, I don't mind at all. When someone critiques one of my pieces, I must
admit, I don't want to be *bashed,* exactly, but you're right. I don't
want layers of undeserved sappy sweetness! If it's good, then I love to
hear about it, but if it wasn't, one shouldn't have to lie.

As for "Bitten," that was definitely a spur-of-the-moment story. I wrote
and sent it out in all of fifteen minutes (However I understand that this
does not excuse me). Anyway, things just came to me, and I found myself
patting myself on the back for things I hadn't consciously intended while
writing. I read the "3rd grade boyfriend" paragraph, and the subtleness
of it all blew me away (being blown away by your own writing is fun!)!  I
think thoughts were flowing directly from the ep into the story. That's
when I love to write, b/c it's the most true to the show. I love
inspiration!

Yes, I did mean "Buffy and the gang." I actually debated putting that in
for all of the 2 seconds I spent editing, but alas, it sounded cumbersome
at the time! Upon reflection, I would have changed it.

The "changing" thing was left ambiguous intentionally (That grammar
sucked. Pardon me-no sleep). Cordelia isn't sure how she's changing, or
what she's changing into, and I wanted the reader to get into Cordelia's
head while at the same time being sort of omniscient, and having some
outside knowledge from the show (Damn, there I go again. Somebody has to
shoot me and put me out of my misery!). Like dramatic irony, sans the
irony. (There! Now I've made a complete fool of myself!)

Pardon the sub text. After getting a migraine headache,  falling asleep
in physics earlier today, and being hit in the head with a tuning fork by
a girl who *claims* to be my friend <g,> I'm not thinking particularly
clearly. Goodnight all, and thanks, Rachel for the honest commentary.
Just let me know ahead of time next time. I tend to hyper ventilate. <g>

-Ingrid

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Broken Bonds (Part 6)
Date: 29 Apr 1998 19:43:19 -0400

Title:       Broken Bonds (Part 6)
Author:      Northlight
e-mail:      [e-mail]
Note:        Thanks to those who helped.
Summary:     Giles dissapears and bad things start to happen.
Disclaimer:  They aren't mine.


    Willow shuddered delicately beneath the undeniably unfriendly gaze of
Buffy's new Watcher.  He stared at her with narrowed eyes as she seated
herself at her computer terminal in the library.

    "This is not acceptable," Tyler stated flatly.  Willow nearly sighed in
relief as that unfriendly gaze shifted from her to the stunned Slayer.

    "What do you mean by that!" Buffy exclaimed, her face flushing in
anger.  To Willow, it looked like Buffy was about ready to stake the
man.  Watcher or not.

    Tyler nearly snarled a response.  "The Watcher and the Slayer are
sacred duties.  They are not something to be shared with mere high
school students!  I cannot believe how irresponsible Rupert was--"

    "You shut up now!" Buffy hissed.  "Willow has helped me immensely in my
duties as the Slayer.  What right do you have to judge her worth to
me?!  Besides, this is none of your concern.  Giles will be back soon
and your opinions won't matter here at all!"

    "That may be, my dear.  But until Rupert does return, you will do what
I say.  And I say that this girl," he gestured dismissively towards the
wide eyed Willow, "is not to be allowed any part in your duties."

    "Alright!  I've had it with you!" Buffy's voice was rapidly rising, and
her fists were clenched tightly.

    'I've got to stop this!' Willow thought desperately as Buffy advanced
towards Tyler threateningly.  "Buffy, wait!" she gasped.

    Buffy's deliberate advance towards Tyler stopped at Willow's protest.
Her gaze rested on her friend curiously, requesting an explanation.

    "It's alright, Buffy," Willow told her softly, avoiding Tyler's hard
eyed stare.  "You're right, Giles will be back.  Until then, I won't
interfere with Tyler's wishes."

    Tyler looked pleased at her words.

    Buffy wasn't about to give in so easily.  Willow and Xander were an
important part of her life.  They understood her where few others
could.  She wasn't about to give them up for this man who had already
taken Giles away from her.  "Forget it, Willow.  Tyler has no say in
this.  You're staying!"

    Tyler began to protest, but Buffy cut him off.  "You can just shut up,
Tyler.  If you have a problem with Willow being here, I can leave with
her.  I can do without a Watcher for as long as it takes Giles to
return."  Her tone clearly stated that she would do exactly what she had
threatened.

    The glowering man took in a deep breath.  "Fine, have your way,
Buffy."  His voice was emotionless again.  If the girls hadn't been
there, they would have been hard pressed to believe that he had been
enraged only moments before.

    "What?" Buffy gaped at him.  'He gave in?  But he seemed so very
determined...'

    He saw her confusion.  "I'm sorry that I was so impatient, Buffy.  It
is just that being the Slayer is a dangerous position.  I wouldn't want
anyone who was not equipped to deal with the particular dangers
associated with being a Slayer to be harmed."

    'Why do I not believe that?'  She didn't express any of her disbelief
but rather nodded.  'If I hadn't distrusted him before, I definitely
would have by now.'

    "Come on Willow.  Let's get out of here."

    Willow rose from her seat, her legs unsteady.  Purposely avoiding any
glimpse of Tyler, she eagerly followed Buffy out of the library.
'Funny, the library's never seemed so very constricting before...'

            End Part 6



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: About Critiques and some help wanted.
Date: 30 Apr 1998 00:53:17

Certainly anything by Ingrid makes a good choice, this
is the kind of solo writing I would so like to aspire
to. :) I would also so like to read this story. My
server is causing me so many problems I am seriously
considering the digest version for revenge. I'd like to

see it try to lose mail sent in *that* format <g>.

But you guys are very right about one thing in
particular. The more readers to check out your errors
the better. Leslie has already promised to check me
over (I should start producing this month!), and if
anyone else would be kind enough to I would welcome it.


I've never done fanfic, in other words I've never tried

to write about characters that are human before <g>, so

I'm nervous. Though I will say that having read what
you've all said and never having written for the list
before, knowing how much you all care about a writer's
work has encouraged me. I feel I can trust that if
anyone sends me comments it's going to be fair.

Just to give you an idea of what I'm doing, I'm writing
about a time before Oz and Willow got together. In
fact, over here in England they haven't yet. :) This is
cos I wanted my character and Willow to get close.
Kinda with the idea of a sequel if this works out. My
character is neither vampire nor human and is searching
for the legendary Hellmouth to get back to where he
belongs. If anyone has *any* idea where the Hellmouth
is meant to be I would be very grateful for this
information. This kinda almost fits in with the sort of
writing I'm doing now, though it *isn't* a crossover.
(I'm just not terribly original <g>). My character has
been created to fit no where other than the Buffyverse.
The setting is Earth and it is *not* controversial.
(That's just in case anyone's heard of me <g>). This
story also has a strong basis in mythology, although it
also contains vampires and slayerage and the usual
Buffy gang.

Knowing this, anyone who wants to help will be given a
very big welcome. :)

Betzi





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Rachel's critique of "Bitten"
Date: 29 Apr 1998 21:20:17 EDT

>No, I don't mind at all. When someone critiques one of my pieces, I must
>admit, I don't want to be *bashed,* exactly, but you're right. I don't
>want layers of undeserved sappy sweetness! If it's good, then I love to
>hear about it, but if it wasn't, one shouldn't have to lie.

::nods:: Glad you didn't mind, and I hope it helped. I really don't think I've
ever *bashed* somebody, because I've had that happen and it SUCKS (and I ain't
talkin' _blood_ here) and made me seriously wary of posting *anything* to the
list it happened on.

>As for "Bitten," that was definitely a spur-of-the-moment story. I wrote
>and sent it out in all of fifteen minutes (However I understand that this
>does not excuse me).

Actually, here's a point I'd like to make: It's not so much the amount of time
spent on a story as it is the complete quality of a piece. "Bitten" was
excellent work. Whether you spend a year editing or five minutes doesn't
matter so much as that the final piece is the best you can make it. Sometimes,
it's very possible that something comes out perfect on the first try-- but
sometimes they don't. I know I've just spent the day getting out a rough copy
of the last few chapters of a Buffy fic, and the thing is, I *know* they're
not as good as they could be, and I know I have to work on them for a few days
now-- but I've got the ideas down. Which is why it's a *rough* draft. <g>
Sometimes you have ten of 'em, and sometimes you might only have one draft
total. It all depends on the story.

>Anyway, things just came to me, and I found myself
>patting myself on the back for things I hadn't consciously intended while
>writing.

::grins:: Don't you _love_ when that happens? The characters just up and run
off with the story and you're left wondering what exactly's been happening,
but sitting there going, "_Damn_, that was good." <g>

>I read the "3rd grade boyfriend" paragraph, and the subtleness
>of it all blew me away (being blown away by your own writing is fun!)!

Definately. ::grin:: And it fit really well w/her character and all.

>I
>think thoughts were flowing directly from the ep into the story. That's
>when I love to write, b/c it's the most true to the show. I love
>inspiration!

::giggles:: Abso-freakin'-lutely.

>Yes, I did mean "Buffy and the gang." I actually debated putting that in
>for all of the 2 seconds I spent editing, but alas, it sounded cumbersome
>at the time! Upon reflection, I would have changed it.

::nods::

>The "changing" thing was left ambiguous intentionally (That grammar
>sucked. Pardon me-no sleep). Cordelia isn't sure how she's changing, or
>what she's changing into, and I wanted the reader to get into Cordelia's
>head while at the same time being sort of omniscient, and having some
>outside knowledge from the show (Damn, there I go again. Somebody has to
>shoot me and put me out of my misery!). Like dramatic irony, sans the
>irony. (There! Now I've made a complete fool of myself!)

LOL, not at all. :) That isn't what I meant, though, I don't think. The line
in the story was something like "she didn't know what she was changing", and
my suggestion was that you just say "what she was changing into", because
originally the "into" isn't in the story and I know that sometimes I'll get
writing and just _skip_ a word, then somebody finds it later and I'm like
"ACK! Why isn't that IN there, I was THINKING that!" <g> (God. Or I typo and
say "His pale brushed the grass" instead of "His palm brushed the grass.
::shakes her head:: Gads.)

>Pardon the sub text. After getting a migraine headache,  falling asleep
>in physics earlier today, and being hit in the head with a tuning fork by
>a girl who *claims* to be my friend <g,> I'm not thinking particularly
>clearly.

Well, that makes... ::slowly tallies up her personalities:: Oh, a couple
bazillion of us. <g>

>Goodnight all, and thanks, Rachel for the honest commentary.

:) I was home sick today with tons of time on my hand-- thank YOU for
providing such a great story to critique, and read, and rave about all day
long. ::grin::

>Just let me know ahead of time next time. I tend to hyper ventilate. <g>

::grin:: Aye-aye, mate.

R



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Blu2cool <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Showing Instead of Telling, & Other Stuff
Date: 29 Apr 1998 23:39:47 EDT

In a message dated 4/29/98, KylenRevik writes:

> Yes, I was more-than-slightly confused

::moans:: I AM so sorry! I have a legit excuse, though...I was babysitting the
brats from the Hellmouth when I wrote that, so I think it got kinda messed up
(I mighta been thinking some violent thoughts at the moment ::gives innocent
grin::). I honestly and totally agree with:

> (Hint, hint, hint! Reader-people! Critiques are fun and we LIKE them!!!!!!!)

And I didn't mean to be such a bitca. Hope ya'll can forget my little boo
boo...

Blu
[e-mail]
(check my new sig line, I just put it on...) "You're just a big bucket of
funny, Will." -Xander, IOHEFY



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Mark Jones <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Everton are Rubbish!!
Date: 30 Apr 1998 16:42:06 +0100

Everton are rubbish!
Everton are rubbish!
Everton are rubbish!
Everton are rubbish!
Everton are rubbish!
Everton are rubbish!
Everton are rubbish!
Everton are rubbish!
That's all. This is from Si, if your'e wondering. AL GO TO THE CLOSE
TONIGHT!!!!




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: [e-mail]
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Rachel's critique of "Bitten"
Date: 01 May 1998 02:10:07


--- On Wed, 29 Apr 1998 21:20:17 EDT  KylenRevik
<[e-mail]> wrote:

>Actually, here's a point I'd like to make: It's not so

much the amount of time
>spent on a story as it is the complete quality of a
piece. "Bitten" was
>excellent work. Whether you spend a year editing or
five minutes doesn't
>matter so much as that the final piece is the best you

can make it. Sometimes,
>it's very possible that something comes out perfect on

the first try-- but
>sometimes they don't. I know I've just spent the day
getting out a rough copy
>of the last few chapters of a Buffy fic, and the thing
is, I *know* they're
>not as good as they could be, and I know I have to
work on them for a few days
>now-- but I've got the ideas down. Which is why it's a
*rough* draft. <g>
>Sometimes you have ten of 'em, and sometimes you might
only have one draft
>total. It all depends on the story.

I know this so well! There've been times when I've
worked for *days* on a story trying to get it right
and, I admit, trying to be just a little impressive.
But the ones that other people have said are the
absolute best are the ones that I've put the least work
into. Like the time I rushed off a Christmas story for
an APA I was in. I barely had the time to check it, yet
it's one of the stories they remember me for and not
the ones I literally sweat blood trying to improve. I
guess it all depends on how well it flows; if it does
it's good, if it don't then sometimes it just ain't
gonna. Though don't anyone let that put you off.
There's been times when I've worked hard on a story and
it's come good too.

Betzi




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Hannah1971 <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Inevitable" (1/1) by Hannah R.H.
Date: 30 Apr 1998 21:19:12 EDT

Summary: Willow realizes too late that she is Angel's next target.
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy do. I will not
profit from their use.
Warning: Implied character death.
Rating: PG
Notes: This one's dedicated to all the writers out there who see a spark
between Angel and Willow, expecially Jessica DuBois and Melinda Dawney. For
those of you that read "The Inevitable" on BBETA a few days ago, the ending
has changed--I realized I was copping out. If you read both versions, let me
know what you think. And regarding critiques and/or criticism, I can be thin-
skinned, but have at me! It can only help me get better ... ;-)

***
The Inevitable
by Hannah R.H.
Copyright 1998

It was said with a long, shuddering breath that would have
broken the heart of anyone who heard it.

"Angel."

The only one who heard it had no heart to break, however,
and so Willow was left abandoned in the playground,
watched only by a demon that was once a friend. The fear
knifed through her with sharp pains, making her breaths
labored.

"Hey, Willow," Angel said with cold informality as he stepped
out from behind the jungle gym. "Out kind of late, aren't
you?"

Her eyes jumped back down the path she had walked. Just
far enough. No one to hear. No one to save her.

The milk she carried in the plastic 7-Eleven bag slipped from
her grasp and dropped to the hard ground. White flowed
from the seams and drenched the trampled grass, spreading
and soaking into the dirt. She saw Angel smile, and her fear
turned warm and liquid, diffuse, through her limbs.

"I guess it is ... late," she said quietly. The sun had gone
down only half an hour before ... but half an hour was long
enough. Angel looked rested, as if he had just risen. "How
did you find me?"

"I've been watching you, Willow ... just you," he answered.
"Sundown to sunrise. Waiting for the moment that I knew
would come."

"Watching me," she echoed. Willow realized immediately
what had killed her--the belief that the demon couldn't be
everywhere at once. One trip to the corner store, right after
sundown, would be anonymous enough to offer her
protection. And now, for the price of a carton of milk, she
had given herself to Death.

A brief wave of nausea washed over her. She closed her
eyes, breathing deeply, and when she opened them again,
he was standing in front of her, inches away. She hadn't
heard him move, but then, she never did. She looked up into
his face, still impossibly handsome and deceptively kind.

He smiled. "It's been so pleasurable, watching you. Seeing
you laughing, dancing ... living. You were the one I wanted,
right from the start, before that Calendar witch. You knew
that, didn't you?" His eyes were bright and sharp. Willow
didn't know how to answer him, but then he continued, "I just
killed her because I had to, not because I really wanted it.
You were the one I wanted first. You're the one I've been
hungering for."

She blinked, gauging her reaction to his words. She skipped
past the self-recrimination for her stupidity, past the sadness
for a wasted life, past the anger that Buffy wouldn't be there
to save her. Willow felt the fear draining from her, like the
milk soaking into the trampled ground, to be replaced by
something numb and soulless. She nodded, then, without
emotion.

"Buffy thought it would be Xander," she responded, not an
accusation but a statement of fact. Her flesh was suddenly
cold, and she shivered. "But I knew."

"Yes, it was inevitable." Angel nodded, approving, then
shook his head at her earlier statement. "Xander!" he
scoffed. "What a waste. I'll kill him like I killed the gypsy,
without a thought, like stepping on something crawling and
slithering on the ground. He thinks I hold real animosity
toward him, but Willow, he's not even worthy of that." He
looked at her then, and his dark eyes pierced through,
seeking her soul. "You're different, though--more than
worthy."

Willow's soul, or whatever it was that made her different
from Angel, had retreated within her, and she heard her
voice from someplace outside, away. "Angel--why me?" She
wanted to hear him say it.

"Willow," he chatised mildly. "That question is beneath you.
You know why."

Her heart thudded slowly in her chest, and she swallowed.
He knew.

Inevitable.

"I never wanted Buffy to know," she said dully, pressing
down the feelings as they threatened to emerge.

His voice was cold comfort. "She didn't. What was there to
know? You loved Xander and that werewolf. I loved her." He
spat it like a curse. "She never saw what I did--those
glorious moments when your wasteful insecurity would drop
away, when you'd realize those boys were beneath you, and
you'd watch me. I may have been burdened with that soul,
but the demon in me would feel you watching." He chuckled.
"You should have been born a gypsy yourself. You could
have burned me with those eyes. You're a flame, Willow--
you draw me to you."

He reached out to stroke her hair, and she shuddered under
his cold fingers.

"Buffy will die soon, after I've killed everyone she cared
about. But I will end this as I begin it, by drinking the blood of
someone who loves me."

She didn't know if he was taunting her, and she realized it
didn't matter anymore. Only one thing did. "I don't want to be
a vampire, Angel. Please."

"Shhh ... You won't be," he assured her. "Just a little pain,
my beautiful girl, and then it's over." His hand passed from
her hair, brushing her cheek before it dropped to her
shoulder. He rubbed his thumb over the pulse in her neck.
"Come sit with me, over here, on this bench. Let me touch
you."


She let him lead her to the bench, near the swings that she
and Xander had used as children, and he sat close to her,
closer even than she would have let Xander or Oz sit.
Angel's hands passed over her face, smoothed her hair,
stroked the milky white skin inside her arms. She felt the
void that the fear had left, and the calm inevitability of the
end.

"You burn, Willow."

He leaned toward her, his face already changing, and she
opened her arms to embrace Death.

THE END

(Yep, no Sarah McLachlan lyrics this time. <sigh> But if you liked it anyway,
check out my Web site at http://members.aol.com/hannah1971.)



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Rachel's critique of "Bitten"
Date: 30 Apr 1998 21:36:53 EDT

In a message dated 98-04-30 21:18:48 EDT, [e-mail] writes:

>I know this so well! There've been times when I've
>worked for *days* on a story trying to get it right
>and, I admit, trying to be just a little impressive.
>But the ones that other people have said are the
>absolute best are the ones that I've put the least work
>into. Like the time I rushed off a Christmas story for
>an APA I was in. I barely had the time to check it, yet
>it's one of the stories they remember me for and not
>the ones I literally sweat blood trying to improve. I
>guess it all depends on how well it flows; if it does
>it's good, if it don't then sometimes it just ain't
>gonna. Though don't anyone let that put you off.
>There's been times when I've worked hard on a story and
>it's come good too.

Oh, too true. I worked for a week getting out the first draft of a 40 page
fic, which I finished while home sick yesterday, and I'm still working on it
just because I *know* the last few chapters need serious HELP. BUT, in the
space of three hours tonight after watching the ep where Spike and Dru get
that organ dumped on top of them (title, please, anybody?), I wrote this
lovely little vignette that I already know won't take hardly any editing at
all once I spellcheck it and like, actually type it in. <g>

En-knee-weigh. <g>

R



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: sah <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Quoting
Date: 30 Apr 1998 21:44:06 -0400

I can't remember if we had it in the list rules when you DISCUSS stories,
but I think it might be a good idea to limit quotes here as well.  Four
lines or less, please.

If you've got questions, email me.

Thanks,
--sah

sah * [e-mail] * [e-mail]
NatPack * Jungle Patrol * Bishop * Bossy the Lost Dwarf * BTVS Listowner
"I feel nauseous.  What is this world coming to, that a perfectly nice,
reasonably sane atheist who forwards me slash and thrives on Xena subtext,
can suddenly start watching 7th Heaven and planning FIC, for Elvis' sake?"
                                                    --jk