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From: Ailie McFarland <aixla@juno.com> Subject: (arfic-l) Not My Place 1/1 Date: 02 May 2001 01:18:01 -0400 (EDT) Title: Not My Place Author: Ailie McFarland Fandom: BTVS Spoilers: Tough Love (aired 5/1/01) Rating: PG Archive:=20 Distribution: Oh! Well, if it helps at all, I=92m gonna say yes! Feedback: It=92s what I live for. Well, that and the end of finals week. AUTHOR=92S NOTE: I just couldn=92t sleep after tonight=92s ep. Just because= I=92m a W/O shipper doesn=92t mean I don=92t think what happened is horrib= le. Sigh. Anyway, this was written quickly and spur of the moment, so don= =92t be too hard on me! =93Thank you for calling the Magic Box, your one stop ...=94 =93What happened to Willow?=94 =93Oz?=94 The connection isn=92t very good, these international calls aren= =92t exactly the clearest thing in the world, but I can still hear the surp= rise in Giles=92 voice. =93Yeah. What happened to Willow?=94 I wish I could explain why I know some= thing is wrong. I just do. It=92s happened a few other times. I=92d feel th= is flash of sudden happiness or pain, and wonder if it was from her. But th= is time, it was just too intense. I know it wasn=92t my imagination. =93She=92s fine, Oz. I promise you.=94 But I know better. During my meditat= ion today, I felt the bottom drop from beneath me. It was as if everything = I held sacred was taken away, my soul ripped from my body as I fought despe= rately to hold onto it. Everything was cold and dark. I imagine this feelin= g must be close to what Angel experienced when he lost his humanity. =93Giles, I know she=92s not fine.=94 I spent hours shivering on the floor = of my apartment, trying to deal with this emptiness robbing me of clear tho= ught and reason. I thought I would give anything to take that feeling away. I was wrong. Next came anger. Actually, it was all consuming rage. Even when I killed Ve= ruca, I never felt this way. Words can=92t express the darkness of the emot= ion. Every time I become the wolf, I touch that darkness. Today I drowned i= n it. Silence on the other end of the line, followed by a heavy sigh. =93There wa= s ... an incident.=94 My breath catches in my throat. I knew that something= was wrong. Giles goes on, starting at the beginning with Glory and Dawn. A= t first I had to fight the urge to scream, to tell him to get on with it al= ready. It=92s not that I don=92t care about Buffy and the others, but right= now, Willow is my main concern. Eventually I realize what he=92s doing. To= understand the magnitude of the situation, I have to understand what they= =92ve been going through since I left.=20 Then he reaches the point. =93As best we can tell Glory somehow came to the= conclusion that Tara was the key. When she discovered her error, she was m= ost displeased.=94 There=92s that silence again. When even Giles runs out o= f words, you know it=92s bad. =93She ... fed off of Tara, for lack of a bet= ter term.=94 The enormity of that statement strikes me. Tara is irrevocably changed, lea= ving Willow behind. There was a time when I thought the same thing had happ= ened to Willow, when her vampire twin invaded the Bronze. At the time, I ha= d busied myself trying to discover a way to save the lives of the club goer= s, pushing aside my breaking heart. Willow didn=92t have that kind of distr= action. =93What did Willow do?=94 =93Attacked. Drew on some very dangerous sources to attempt to bring Glory = down. She didn=92t succeed, but managed to escape injury.=94 My little Willow took on a God. It=92s hard for me to believe in some ways.= After all, when I left Sunnydale the spells were still somewhat on the sma= ller scale. Apparently things have changed, and so has she. I=92d always kn= ew she=92d truly bloom someday, and let everyone see the strong person I sa= w inside of her. I just didn=92t imagine I wouldn=92t be there to see it as= well. =93How is Tara?=94 I don=92t know Tara well. I don=92t know her at all, act= ually. But if Willow loves her, she must be a good person. And despite the = fact that I attacked her that one day ... I feel terrible about what has ha= ppened. No one deserves this. No one. =93She=92s home, resting. Not much change as far as I can tell, but Willow = insists ... she says some times are better than others.=94 =93And Willow?=94 My heart leaps up into my throat. Just saying that name, = thinking of her face ... sometimes it=92s more than I can bear. =93I suppose as good as can be expected. Buffy and Dawn are with her now, h= elping her watch Tara. It=92s hard on all of us. Especially so soon after l= osing Joyce ... which I suppose you haven=92t heard about either.=94 I half= listen as Giles explains the circumstances surrounding the death of Buffy= =92s mother. It=92s not that I didn=92t like the woman. In fact, she was ju= st about the coolest mom-type figure I ever had the pleasure of meeting. It= =92s just too much, too fast. Too much change. I=92ve only been gone a year= . Just one year. Eventually I realize Giles is quiet. He must be waiting for me to say somet= hing. =93Is there anything I can do?=94 A stupid question, but one I need t= o ask. =93No. I think everything is as under control as possible under the circums= tances. Life on the Hellmouth and all of its pleasures. And ... as far as W= illow is concerned, I think it would be best if I didn=92t mention this cal= l to her. I appreciate your concern, but it=92s not your place to do such t= hings. It would probably ...=94 =93Hurt more than help. I know. That=92s why I called you instead of her. I= just ... I needed to know.=94=20 =93I understand.=94 There=92s a click, then a dial tone.=20 I wish I understood why this keeps happening. Why Willow and I still have t= his connection. If I was a poet, I might say it was the bonds of eternal lo= ve, unbroken by time and distance. But that=92s a load and I know it. Maybe= it=92s the wolf in me and the witch in her. Maybe it=92s from being in suc= h close proximity to her spells for all those years. There=92s lots of thin= gs it could be, and the truth is I=92ll probably never know. I can deal wit= h that. What I can=92t deal with is knowing that she=92s hurting. I want to wrap my= arms around her, kiss her hair, and tell her everything will be alright. A= t this point I=92d even settle for hearing her voice over the phone. I=92m = tempted to call and leave a message on her machine, just to let her know I= =92m thinking about her and hoping that Tara will recover. But as Giles sai= d, it=92s not my place. Not anymore. ~Ailie McFarland~ Willow: Hey! Your hair ... is brown!=20 Oz: Oh, yeah, sometimes.=20 Oz: Oh, I sorta test well. Y'know, which is cool.Except that it leads to jobs.=20 Willow: Well, don't you have some ambition?=20 Oz: Oh, yeah! Yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth.=20 Willow: Huh?=20 Oz: Well, the E-flat, it's, it's doable, but that diminished ninth, y'know, it's a man's chord. Now, you could lose a finger.=20 Buffy: Is it me or is this really lame?=20 Oz: I don't know. I usually enjoy lameness, and this is leaving me kinda co= ld.=20 Xander: Yeah, for a minute there I thought you're gonna make an expression.= =20 Oz: Well, I felt one coming on. I won't lie.=20 Oz: Hey.=20 Angel: Nice surprise.=20 Oz: Thanks. Angel: Staying long?=20 Oz: Few days. Doyle: Are they always like this? Oz: No, were usually laconic. - To unsubscribe to arfic-l, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe arfic-l" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Michele R Bumbarger" <mbumbarger@neo.rr.com> Subject: (arfic-l) NEW FIC: Another Round (1/1) Date: 07 May 2001 09:52:54 -0400 Title: Another Round (1/) Author: Stasey J. Norstrom Email: mythycle@mindspring.com Fandom: Shadows & Light (Angel: the Series/New Series Tomorrow People Crossover) Rating: PG-13/TV-14 Summary: Jade Weston meets Angel in the wrong place at the wrong time. Disclaimer: Ami Jackson and Jade Weston are the property of Roger Damon Price, Thames/Television, ITV, Tetra Television and Nickelodeon. Angel and Cordelia Chase are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox Productions. They are all used here without permission, but not for profit. The lands, countries, customs, deities, and original characters are mine and mine only, springing from the depths of my imagination and should not be used anywhere else without my permission. Please do not repost this to any list or archive it anywhere else without my express permission. Note: The latest and greatest installment in the Shadows & Light universe. I'm not the author, so please don't send feedback to me. Please send it to the author at mythycle@mindspring.com *** Another Round by Stasey Norstrom (mythycle@mindspring.com) "What part of 'Bugger off you drunken git', don't you understand?" The Idiot stared back at her blankly. A moment later a small, inebriated smile began to creep into the corner of his mouth. "Oh, huh-huh, I get it. You're playin' har-URRRP!" Jade Weston let the back of her head tap against the wall of Club Indigo, knowing full well that this was not going well. It was bad enough that she had to sneak into the club (being 16 had it's disadvantages on a Saturday night), not to mention doing it alone (having friends under 18 had it's disadvantages too). She told her friends that a friend of a friend of hers older brother was best friends with the bouncer at Indigo and that she could get them all in. Even though it was a boldfaced lie, she knew she could "trick" her way in. Jade was a Tomorrow Person: a small group of young adults with amazing mental abilities, the next step in human evolution. She discovered she had the ability to make people see what she wanted them to see. Of course, it was only in little ways that she could "trick" them, anything more usually resulted in a serious migraine and a rather embarrassing situation (the last attempt involved a convenience store clerk, a can of tuna, and twenty rolls of toilet paper . . . it was ugly). She couldn't wait to get her talent under control for then she could get back at all the cute boys who were jerks to her over the years. "You remind me of my li'l sister," A beer bubble popped in his throat. "I-I can't see her no more". {Make them pay, like Idiot here.} Front Line Assembly's industrial-angst pounded throughout Indigo, bass resonating in Jade's bones. She wanted to trick the Idiot so bad she could taste it, but between the music and the bartender {that's the last time I order a Stinky Kitty}, she had a killer headache and the music wasn't making her focus any better. She looked over and around the drunken fool, desperately trying to get someone-anyone's-attention while trying to maintain her cool. {I may be all neato-keen Tomorrow Person and stuff but freaking out and screaming like a little girl would be a really bad thing. . . . . .or would it?} Jade Weston took a deep breath, stood up tall, opened her mouth and- "BURRRP-HEY!" -received a face full of drunken beer belch breath blown into her face from the Idiot. The Idiot started to laugh. She lost all her cool. It was time to scream. "Pardon me," a calm voice whispered in her ear, "you seem to be in a bad spot." She wasn't too sure what happened next. The Idiot turned around {or was he spun?}, blurted out something about his sister and a restraining order {redneck slug} and then he was gone. And there He was. "You ok?" Jade stood there and. . . stood. Her body was rock, her brain frozen. Her savior moved in a little closer, examining her lack of eye movement. "He scare you pretty bad?" "Gorgeous." He raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite-" {C'mon Jade girl get a grip talk talk talk} "Jade." He showed her a crooked smile. "Jade is your name?" A nod. "That's a start," he put out his right hand, "my name is Angel." {I know that name why do I know that name c'mon think girl brain's not working} She took his hand and shook it. {Cold hand wow cold you know what they say cold hand hot-} "You wanna' sit down?" {-oh my.} She moved to a nearby table and sat, never once taking her eyes off of him. Angel looked around and caught the attention of a passing waitress. She brought them two glasses of water and patted Jade on the shoulder. "Don't you worry honey, we booted that Jack-ass outta' here. You're safe with us." The waitress smiled at Angel and moved on. The industrial noise ceased its pounding, giving rise to Delerium's world-techno. "Silence" took over, Sarah McLaughlin's voice calming Jade's frazzled mind. {Thank God for the Lilith Girl.} Jade picked up the glass of water and downed half of it, giving herself a few seconds to collect her thoughts and try to act as human as possible. "Is there someone I can call to come get you-" "NO!" She slammed down the glass, her eyes wide with fear. Ami, her "big sister" and fellow Tomorrow Person, didn't know she had taken off by herself, let alone come to Indigo on a Saturday night. If Ami found out that she had tricked her way in, only to be cornered by Farmer Bob, she would be good as dead. Jade smiled a little too wide, over compensating yet again. "I'm sorry. I, uh, yeah, that guy shook me up pretty good." Angel smiled, noticing that the little Brit was going to be all right. "I'm just glad that I was passing by and overheard you two." {How could he have heard us? I could barely hear us talk, what with all the-} "It's funny." Angel did a quick scan of the hazy club. Lights pulsed in time to the beat, slow and mystical, fading in and out. Colors swirled, dancing in the smoke and fog. "What's so funny?" {Please don't let it be something on my face.} "You've got a British accent." Jade smiled. "Yeah, I get that a lot from people. What with me being British and all." Angel's brows leaned in a bit, focusing squarely on Jade. "The even funnier part is that the person I'm hoping to run into- {Damn of course he's got a girlfriend} -is British as well." Jade's smile fell through the table and crashed into a thousand tiny pieces on the black and white tile floor beneath. It all came flooding into her brain at once, the gates full open. Her mind raced as it ran over past conversations, filtering out dialogue, filing events and paraphrasing quotes. She could hear her now, that slight coyish grin of hers, the slight coloration in her cheeks . . . it all made perfect sense. <><><><><><> "Hey Jade, guess what?" "What Ami. Teleport into another public toilet?" "No," (Ami shoots her a glare) "I need to tell you about this guy-" "Better than the last one I hope. What with all that itching." (Jade shivers, hands crossing to her shoulders.) (Ami rolls her eyes, tired of hearing about that one.) "No, you surly little girl, this one isn't like the others." ("Oh joy, here we go.") "Really? What's his name?" (Ami pulls out a business card off her desk.) "He seems against the artwork, and his name is a little on the . . . whatever." (Jade takes the card, ignoring most of it.) "So, what makes the 'winged one' here so different . . . besides the name?" <><><><><><> "Crap." Angel's faced screwed itself up a bit, perplexed by Jade's comment. "Do you know her?" {Double-crap.} "Yeah-uh, no," a little manic laugh escaping, "I mean no." She twisted a strand of hair round her forefinger, innocence sitting on her face like a bad Nixon mask. Plastic. {It's him oh bugger all Vampire Angel teeth leather pants crap blood sucker yummy} "Oh, gees, and here I thought all foreigners know one another when traveling abroad." Angel fidgeted with his hands a bit, embarrassment leaking in. A very large man in a very large coat rested two very large hands on the table, each the size of a small dog. His smile was full of teeth, most of them created by a dentist, a wide variety of precious metals. "Evenin' folks." His voice boomed over the deafening thump! of the sound system. Jade lurched, the giant oak beside slamming her back into consciousness. Her eyes bulged, realizing that this mass of a man was the same one that she tricked to gain entrance. {Great first Angel now this I can't take it} "What can we do for you?" Angel's smile turned professional. Jade's eyes narrowed. {Wait . . .maybe . . . } The Bouncer stood up and folded his side of beef forearms, leering down at the small British girl. "It seems to me that we have someone a bit too young to be at our establishment tonight." Angel looked at Jade. Jade looked at Angel. She smiled. He didn't. Jade took a deep breath and closed her eyes, letting her mind open up. Her world shifted instantly: it was now a world seen through underwater lenses: liquid, fluid. Her point of view leapt from her eyes to the Bouncer looming above her. She was now watching herself, an oddity she couldn't quite get over. Jade mumbled almost inaudibly, "This is not the girl I'm looking for." "This is not the girl I'm looking for." The Bouncer mumbled in a low monotone voice. "Carry on." "Carry on." Jade snapped! her eyes open, reeling herself back in. {Thank you Megabyte for making me watch those sci-fi films.} The Bouncer took a step back, his expressionless face turning back to the crowd, and was gone. Jade exhaled and fell back in her chair, her head throbbing in pain. {I should learn how to do this without all hell following after.} She reached over and chugged the rest of her water. She set the empty glass down and looked over at- "How did you do that?" Angel's smile vanished as his investigator side rose to the surface. "What did you do to him?" Jade swallowed a Volkswagen and it stuck fast in her throat. {He couldn't have heard me, not with the music-} "I heard you. He repeated the words as you said them." {-dammit! He could hear a mouse fart at a football match.} "I, uh, don't know. . . " Angel's face didn't twitch nor did it believe a word she was saying now. He then leaned in, sitting on the edge of his seat. His eyes now flashed with curiosity. "You're one of the Tomorrow-" {Oh boy oh man oh crap} Jade panicked, pushing herself out of the chair. "Gotta' go." She made her way past Angel and- -he caught her arm. "You know Ami, right?" Jade stopped and spun, eyes wide, inches away from Angel. She felt her own breath bouncing back on her. "I, uh, Ami?" "And Adam too. Megabyte?" {Dammit! He's gonna' spill to Ami that I was here and that I tricked someone.} "I gotta'. . . " She stopped. {I'm breathing. He's not. Crap she was right.} Her eyes were ready to explode. "Your breath-" He let go. She crashed to the floor. She tried to scramble to her feet; fear and panic and more fear rendered her muscles uncontrollable. Her head still throbbed too, compounding the problem even farther. "You're really scaring me-" Angel suppressed a laugh. "What? I'm scaring you? Who pulled the Jedi mind trick on the walking tree trunk just now?" "What did you call me?" Angel stood up straight, the hairs on his neck prickling. He turned slowly, noticing the silhouette of the tree trunk take form in front of him. The Bouncer stood somewhere in the hell-ass tall range. Angel thought about lots of things to say and do, none of which would keep his limbs intact. "WELL?!" The Bouncer's face was lit up by strobe light, making the situation look all the more hopeless. "It's funny, really," Angel stumbled on his own tongue, "that girl I was talking to . . . " He turned around to see- Jade. gone. Angel turned back around and sighed. "Ah Hell." <><><><><><> Ami Jackson and Cordelia Chase exited the taxi in front of Club Indigo. Ami closed her eyes and relaxed, letting the music pulse through her. She tuned into the ebb and flow of emotion that flooded the area, ready for a night of dance and mindless fun. Cordelia slowly whipped her hair behind her shoulders, hoping to draw maximum attention. Even though she had on a mid-thigh burgundy dress with matching evening bag, no one seemed to be around. She looked up and down, wondering where all the gorgeous men were. "Where are all the gorgeous men?" Cordy filled the air with irritation. "Aren't they supposed to all come out of the club and fall at my feet?" Angel hit the sidewalk like a dead guy. "And stay out!" The Bouncer turned and disappeared through a wall of smoke. Cordy threw her arms out at the Club, eyes wide with disbelief. "I ask for men-this is what I get?!" She turned her attention down at her lifeless friend. "What the hell did you do this time?" Angel brushed himself off, pain throbbing to the beat of the club. "I'm fine, thanks for caring." Sarcasm, pouring like wine. "Nothing that a new spine wouldn't cure." He pushed on his back, popping all the important vertebrae back into place. "Good thing that didn't-" He looked around, scouring the crowd that spilled onto the midnight sidewalk. He saw Ami standing silent behind Cordelia, arms folded, eyes unblinking. "Hey Ami." "Hey. . . Angel." Unblinking. Angel snapped out of his funk, searching the area for something. "What's wrong?" Cordy started to look around too, desperately trying to find something. "How did she do that?" Angel rubbed his head, finding a rather large bump. He knew that was going to smart for a while. "What?" Cordelia was ten different shades of confused. "Who are you talking about? What 'she'?" Angel threw his arms to his side. He was bruised, beaten, and tormented all because of "Jade." Ami quickly moved beside Cordy, her eyes wide. "Jade? Jade Weston? What? You know Jade?" Angel nodded as he continued to scan the streets, hoping to catch a glimpse. He wished for once that Doyle was with him. If anyone could track a female, Doyle sure could. "Yeah, well, no. Kind of but not really." Cordelia took a step towards Angel, her hands pleading with the Vampire. "You are nowhere near the realm of making sense, Angel. Who are you-" Angel turned, giving up on his search on the youngest Tomorrow Person. He stared at Ami, desperately wishing she could read his mind. Then he remembered that she could. But he was too tired and too bruised to care. the end ___________________________________________________________ Visit the Shadows & Light Universe: http://www.alternate-realities.net/ar-shadows.htm Hungry for Shadows & Light stories? Looking for some Shadows & Light spoilers and gossip? Join the mailing list for Shadows & Light and read it all first! Sign up at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/shadowsnlight - To unsubscribe to arfic-l, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe arfic-l" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: AgentRacerX@cs.com Subject: (arfic-l) x-over: Here Until Death, and After (0/1) Date: 07 May 2001 17:52:09 EDT --part1_73.d74ab2d.28287309_boundary Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Title: Here Until Death, and After Author: Nicole Gray E-mail: AgentRacerX@cs.com Rating: PG Fandom: New Series Tomorrow People / All Souls Summary: So, you ask, who exactly is Joey, anyway? Well, if you want his opinion, that's a very good question. Warnings: Generally weirdness. One might go so far as to say that this story contains something akin to character death. Disclaimer: The Tomorrow People belongs to Roger Damon Price, Thames/Tetra, Nickelodeon, etc. All Souls belongs to, well, I'm not entirely sure. I suppose UPN and various others. The only thing I get out of this is a certain degree of satisfaction...though I'm not entirely sure why. Thanks: go to Anne, for pointing out various fuzzy points and typos, as well as the various people who sent such kind feedback on TPFICT. Author's Note: Well, you were probably wondering when someone was going to do this. I managed to crossover The Tomorrow People and All Souls. (Joey is played by Cristian Tessier, in case you were wondering.) The result isn't pretty, to say the very least. This is an alternate universe of the worst kind, one that I really don't care to continue, as I suspect that it may be taxing on my sanity. If however, anyone feels inclined to work with this idea, please say so. More of my work (written or otherwise) can be found at http://members.tripod.com/Agent_Racer_X --part1_73.d74ab2d.28287309_boundary Content-Type: text/html; charset="US-ASCII" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit <HTML>Title: Here Until Death, and After Author: Nicole Gray E-mail: AgentRacerX@cs.com Rating: PG Fandom: New Series Tomorrow People / All Souls Summary: So, you ask, who exactly is Joey, anyway? Well, if you want his opinion, that's a very good question. Warnings: Generally weirdness. One might go so far as to say that this story contains something akin to character death. Disclaimer: The Tomorrow People belongs to Roger Damon Price, Thames/Tetra, Nickelodeon, etc. All Souls belongs to, well, I'm not entirely sure. I suppose UPN and various others. The only thing I get out of this is a certain degree of satisfaction...though I'm not entirely sure why. Thanks: go to Anne, for pointing out various fuzzy points and typos, as well as the various people who sent such kind feedback on TPFICT. Author's Note: Well, you were probably wondering when someone was going to do this. I managed to crossover The Tomorrow People and All Souls. (Joey is played by Cristian Tessier, in case you were wondering.) The result isn't pretty, to say the very least. This is an alternate universe of the worst kind, one that I really don't care to continue, as I suspect that it may be taxing on my sanity. If however, anyone feels inclined to work with this idea, please say so. More of my work (written or otherwise) can be found at http://members.tripod.com/Agent_Racer_X </HTML> --part1_73.d74ab2d.28287309_boundary-- - To unsubscribe to arfic-l, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe arfic-l" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: AgentRacerX@cs.com Subject: (arfic-l) x-over: Here Until Death, and After (1/1) Date: 07 May 2001 17:52:16 EDT --part1_40.b38c3b5.28287310_boundary Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Language: en Here Until Death, and After (1/1) by Nicole Gray see notes and disclaimer in part 0/1 ____________________________________ Joey was a deep sleeper. Out like a light the second his head hit the=20 pillow, and then dead to the world for the next several hours. He woke up=20 easily as well. He couldn't recall the last time that he'd needed an alarm=20 clock. It was all automatic. Considering this, it was odd that he never felt very refreshed upon waking.=20= =20 He was always left with a nagging feeling that he'd remembered something,=20 done something, known something, but then forgotten the moment his eyes=20 opened. It was very strange, and occasionally depressing, but he'd grown=20 used to it. After all, it had been like this for as long as he could=20 remember. Which, admittedly, was only a few years. Joey couldn't recall when he'd first started working at All Souls, or when=20 he'd first moved into his dingy little apartment, in which he spent very=20 little time. It wasn't that he could remember things back to a certain=20 point, and then everything was blank. Rather, it was as though the days=20 began to run together after a while. He'd noticed this even since he'd been=20 working at All Souls. Life just decayed into a collection of dull, gray,=20 undefined nothing at the back of his mind after a while. This too was something that he was accustomed to. It was simply the ways=20 things were, and it had never really bothered him. Until recently. Until Dr= .=20 Grace had shown up and the goings on at All Souls had become even more=20 bizarre than before. Joey had a well-established sense of self-preservation. Some would go as fa= r=20 as to call him paranoid, and had, in fact, done just that on several=20 occasions. On some level he supposed that he acted as he did in order to=20 create balance for those moments when something inside of him demanded actio= n=20 of the least surreptitious sort. He'd been having one of said moments when he first met Dr. Grace. Since the= n=20 there'd been no turning back, though he'd certainly done his best. No matte= r=20 how many times he told the older man that he was on his own, that there was=20 no way he'd involve himself any further, he knew that he would always return= =20 to offer his assistance. He was involved now, more than he'd ever been in=20 the past, and that something inside of himself wouldn't leave him alone=20 anymore. It wanted him to help these people=E2=80=93 to help Dr. Grace help= them=E2=80=93=20 and there was no ignoring it. And so things were different. The monotony, the daily routine. . . it was=20 all changing. And All Souls wasn't happy with these changes. Joey had=20 always known that there was something beyond just bricks and mortar to the=20 building. Every day he'd gone about his job, dimly aware of a presence asid= e=20 from his own, even when there was no one there but himself. However, it=20 wasn't until very recently that All Souls had been anything but tolerant of=20 him. Now when he awoke each day, it was with something akin to terror; the=20 prospect of returning to the gleaming spaces, the high-vaulted ceilings, and= =20 the death loomed threateningly just ahead. But he continued to go anyway, knowing that he couldn't do anything else. I= t=20 wasn't just Dr. Grace that was keeping him there. There was another reason,= =20 too, even though he didn't know what it was. But it had always been there,=20 and he couldn't do anything about it. He was quite sure that he would be=20 with All Souls until he died and, in all likelihood, after that as well. Despite all this, he still slept soundly. Never woke up in the middle of th= e=20 night, neither because of hunger, the need to relieve himself, nor even the=20 dreams that he knew he had. And the dreams were changing, also. He knew tha= t=20 too. Sometimes he thought he remember them. Maybe he did. But then they'd= =20 be gone again. People that he had known=E2=80=93 or thought he'd known=E2= =80=93 would be=20 there with him, and then he would be alone again. But even that had been different recently. The nagging feeling was growing=20 stronger, and the loss of his memories occasionally bothered him now because= =20 he was more aware of them. Faces that he glimpsed in his dreams would appea= r=20 before him. Briefly he'd be able to study the tall, thin boy with the long=20 hair, or the dark, pretty girl with braids, or a younger girl, eyes green an= d=20 sparkling with mischief, an awkward boy, a few years younger than himself,=20 and another girl, with an ironic twist to her lips. There were others, too,= =20 who he'd see, and then they'd all be gone. Sometimes he'd remember them late= r=20 for a moment, sometimes not. But it was changing, and he knew that, felt it= .=20 He was slowly unraveling, becoming someone else, and he was scared=E2=80= =93=20 terrified really=E2=80=93 by this loss of self, though at the same time he a= ccepted=20 it calmly, just as he did everything else in his life. Then the breaking point came. He was working a late shift, as he tended to=20 do, and the hospital was mostly empty. He'd found a room where he could be=20 by himself to review patient files while he slowly worked his way through a=20 small pile of junk food from the vending machines. There wasn't actually a=20 trigger of any sort. He wasn't doing anything unusual when it happened. It= =20 was simply something that had been building, pressing against a dam in his=20 mind, bits of it occasionally leaking through. And the dam burst. =20 Megabyte fell to his knees, mouth open in a silent scream, eyes squeezed shu= t=20 and hands clapped over his ears, trying to block out the noise that he knew=20 came from inside his mind. There were so many voices. All Souls was full o= f=20 them. The rage, sorrow, and most of all the terror of the dead and damned=20 rang in his ears. They couldn't leave this hospital. No more than he could= .=20 Nevertheless they screamed, begged anyone who would listen to release them,= =20 demanded that he do something. He fought past them, pushed them out of his way as though he was swimming=20 through a crowd of them. They beat relentlessly at his mind even as he trie= d=20 to move beyond. He wasn't equipped to deal with the dead. This was, after=20 all, the reason why he'd blocked them out to begin with. There was nothing h= e=20 could do for them.=20 So he searched for the living. Diving deeper into the sea of voices and souls, he was able to find them,=20 faint, but there. Beneath the hospital. They were nearly dead themselves.=20= =20 Their souls and minds lingered in bodies that could hardly be called alive,=20 as desperate for release as the damned, though their prisons were made of=20 flesh, rather than whatever it was that bound the dead to All Souls. They called out to him as he moved past. He couldn't help them either,=20 though. And they weren't his concern anyway. His body shuddered, lying=20 prone and sweating on the cold floor of the hospital room, even as his mind=20 quested further. They were still there, and he had to find them.=20 There. Nearly as faint as the others, but they knew him, and he knew them,=20 and they found each other. 'I'm so sorry,' he told them. 'So sorry.' Adam,= =20 Ami, Jade, Kevin, Lisa. 'I can't. I'm trying, but I can't, I'm sorry. So=20 sorry.' They were different now. All Souls had changed them, as it changed everyone= .=20 They spoke at once, overlapping, begging for his help. They wanted release= .=20 Their minds were in agony, so weak now that they couldn't shut the voices=20 out as he could. They called for him as one. Long cries of horror, despair, and madness. And he shut them out. Began rebuilding the dam, bit by bit. "I'm sorry," h= e=20 said, aloud this time. "I'm here," he assured them, though he didn't know i= f=20 they could hear. "I'll stay here, but I can't be with you." He struggled=20 against the continuing onslaught of the dead and living as he worked to=20 replace the shattered walls within his mind. =20 He'd forced his friends out when he first came to All Souls. Had cut them=20 off along with the voices that otherwise taxed his sanity as much as they no= w=20 did his theirs. Another shudder ran through his body. "I'm trying to help,= "=20 he whispered. "I won't leave until I do."=20 And with that, the final block was set back in place. "I'm sorry," breathed Joey. The sound of his own voice startled him. Sorry= =20 for what? He got to his feet slowly, confused. Had he been talking to=20 someone? Had someone been here with him? And then the confusion faded. He picked up the candy bar he'd been eating=20 and began gnawing on the end. A moment later he didn't remember dropping it= .=20 By the time he sat down on his chair again, he'd forgotten that he'd fallen= =20 from it. Joey brushed a few stray crumbs from the file lying on the desk in front of=20 him as he continued to read. ______________________________ Well, I hope that made *some* degree of sense. Comments, criticisms, death=20 threats? Send 'em along. http://members.tripod.com/Agent_Racer_X --part1_40.b38c3b5.28287310_boundary Content-Type: text/html; charset="UTF-8" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Language: en <HTML>Here Until Death, and Aft= er (1/1) by Nicole Gray see notes and disclaimer in part 0/1 ____________________________________ Joey was a deep sleeper. Out like a light the second his head hit=20= the=20 pillow, and then dead to the world for the next several hours. He=20= woke up=20 easily as well. He couldn't recall the last time that he'd needed=20= an alarm=20 clock. It was all automatic. Considering this, it was odd that he never felt very refreshed upon waki= ng. He was always left with a nagging feeling that he'd remembered something= ,=20 done something, known something, but then forgotten the moment his eyes=20 opened. It was very strange, and occasionally depressing, but he'd= grown=20 used to it. After all, it had been like this for as long as he cou= ld=20 remember. Which, admittedly, was only a few years. Joey couldn't recall when he'd first started working at All Souls, or wh= en=20 he'd first moved into his dingy little apartment, in which he spent very= =20 little time. It wasn't that he could remember things back to a cer= tain=20 point, and then everything was blank. Rather, it was as though the= days=20 began to run together after a while. He'd noticed this even since he'd b= een=20 working at All Souls. Life just decayed into a collection of dull,= gray,=20 undefined nothing at the back of his mind after a while. This too was something that he was accustomed to. It was simply the ways= =20 things were, and it had never really bothered him. Until recently.= Until Dr.=20 Grace had shown up and the goings on at All Souls had become even more=20 bizarre than before. Joey had a well-established sense of self-preservation. Some would= go as far=20 as to call him paranoid, and had, in fact, done just that on several=20 occasions. On some level he supposed that he acted as he did in or= der to=20 create balance for those moments when something inside of him demanded a= ction=20 of the least surreptitious sort. He'd been having one of said moments when he first met Dr. Grace. = Since then=20 there'd been no turning back, though he'd certainly done his best. = ;No matter=20 how many times he told the older man that he was on his own, that there=20= was=20 no way he'd involve himself any further, he knew that he would always re= turn=20 to offer his assistance. He was involved now, more than he'd ever=20= been in=20 the past, and that something inside of himself wouldn't leave him alone=20 anymore. It wanted him to help these people=E2=80=93 to help Dr. G= race help them=E2=80=93=20 and there was no ignoring it. And so things were different. The monotony, the daily routine. . .= it was=20 all changing. And All Souls wasn't happy with these changes. = ;Joey had=20 always known that there was something beyond just bricks and mortar to t= he=20 building. Every day he'd gone about his job, dimly aware of a pres= ence aside=20 from his own, even when there was no one there but himself. However, it=20 wasn't until very recently that All Souls had been anything but tolerant= of=20 him. Now when he awoke each day, it was with something akin to ter= ror; the=20 prospect of returning to the gleaming spaces, the high-vaulted ceilings,= and=20 the death loomed threateningly just ahead. But he continued to go anyway, knowing that he couldn't do anything else= . It=20 wasn't just Dr. Grace that was keeping him there. There was anothe= r reason,=20 too, even though he didn't know what it was. But it had always bee= n there,=20 and he couldn't do anything about it. He was quite sure that he wo= uld be=20 with All Souls until he died and, in all likelihood, after that as well. Despite all this, he still slept soundly. Never woke up in the mid= dle of the=20 night, neither because of hunger, the need to relieve himself, nor even=20= the=20 dreams that he knew he had. And the dreams were changing, also. He= knew that=20 too. Sometimes he thought he remember them. Maybe he did. &n= bsp;But then they'd=20 be gone again. People that he had known=E2=80=93 or thought he'd k= nown=E2=80=93 would be=20 there with him, and then he would be alone again. But even that had been different recently. The nagging feeling was= growing=20 stronger, and the loss of his memories occasionally bothered him now bec= ause=20 he was more aware of them. Faces that he glimpsed in his dreams wo= uld appear=20 before him. Briefly he'd be able to study the tall, thin boy with=20= the long=20 hair, or the dark, pretty girl with braids, or a younger girl, eyes gree= n and=20 sparkling with mischief, an awkward boy, a few years younger than himsel= f,=20 and another girl, with an ironic twist to her lips. There were oth= ers, too,=20 who he'd see, and then they'd all be gone. Sometimes he'd remember them=20= later=20 for a moment, sometimes not. But it was changing, and he knew that= , felt it.=20 He was slowly unraveling, becoming someone else, and he was scared= =E2=80=93=20 terrified really=E2=80=93 by this loss of self, though at the same time=20= he accepted=20 it calmly, just as he did everything else in his life. Then the breaking point came. He was working a late shift, as he t= ended to=20 do, and the hospital was mostly empty. He'd found a room where he=20= could be=20 by himself to review patient files while he slowly worked his way throug= h a=20 small pile of junk food from the vending machines. There wasn't ac= tually a=20 trigger of any sort. He wasn't doing anything unusual when it happ= ened. It=20 was simply something that had been building, pressing against a dam in h= is=20 mind, bits of it occasionally leaking through. And the dam burst. Megabyte fell to his knees, mouth open in a silent scream, eyes squeezed= shut=20 and hands clapped over his ears, trying to block out the noise that he k= new=20 came from inside his mind. There were so many voices. All So= uls was full of=20 them. The rage, sorrow, and most of all the terror of the dead and= damned=20 rang in his ears. They couldn't leave this hospital. No more= than he could.=20 Nevertheless they screamed, begged anyone who would listen to rele= ase them,=20 demanded that he do something. He fought past them, pushed them out of his way as though he was swimmin= g=20 through a crowd of them. They beat relentlessly at his mind even a= s he tried=20 to move beyond. He wasn't equipped to deal with the dead. Th= is was, after=20 all, the reason why he'd blocked them out to begin with. There was nothi= ng he=20 could do for them.=20 So he searched for the living. Diving deeper into the sea of voices and souls, he was able to find them= ,=20 faint, but there. Beneath the hospital. They were nearly dea= d themselves. Their souls and minds lingered in bodies that could hardly be called ali= ve,=20 as desperate for release as the damned, though their prisons were made o= f=20 flesh, rather than whatever it was that bound the dead to All Souls. They called out to him as he moved past. He couldn't help them eit= her,=20 though. And they weren't his concern anyway. His body shudde= red, lying=20 prone and sweating on the cold floor of the hospital room, even as his m= ind=20 quested further. They were still there, and he had to find them.=20 There. Nearly as faint as the others, but they knew him, and he kn= ew them,=20 and they found each other. 'I'm so sorry,' he told them. 'So= sorry.' Adam,=20 Ami, Jade, Kevin, Lisa. 'I can't. I'm trying, but I can't, I= 'm sorry. So=20 sorry.' They were different now. All Souls had changed them, as it changed= everyone.=20 They spoke at once, overlapping, begging for his help. They=20= wanted release.=20 Their minds were in agony, so weak now that they couldn't shut the= voices=20 out as he could. They called for him as one. Long cries of horror, despair, and mad= ness. And he shut them out. Began rebuilding the dam, bit by bit. = "I'm sorry," he=20 said, aloud this time. "I'm here," he assured them, though he didn= 't know if=20 they could hear. "I'll stay here, but I can't be with you." = He struggled=20 against the continuing onslaught of the dead and living as he worked to=20 replace the shattered walls within his mind. He'd forced his friends out when he first came to All Souls. Had c= ut them=20 off along with the voices that otherwise taxed his sanity as much as the= y now=20 did his theirs. Another shudder ran through his body. "I'm t= rying to help,"=20 he whispered. "I won't leave until I do."=20 And with that, the final block was set back in place. "I'm sorry," breathed Joey. The sound of his own voice startled hi= m. Sorry=20 for what? He got to his feet slowly, confused. Had he been t= alking to=20 someone? Had someone been here with him? And then the confusion faded. He picked up the candy bar he'd been= eating=20 and began gnawing on the end. A moment later he didn't remember dr= opping it.=20 By the time he sat down on his chair again, he'd forgotten that he= 'd fallen=20 from it. Joey brushed a few stray crumbs from the file lying on the desk in front= of=20 him as he continued to read. ______________________________ Well, I hope that made *some* degree of sense. Comments, criticism= s, death=20 threats? Send 'em along. http://members.tripod.com/Agent_Racer_X</HTML> --part1_40.b38c3b5.28287310_boundary-- - To unsubscribe to arfic-l, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe arfic-l" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Ailie McFarland <aixla@juno.com> Subject: (arfic-l) IT'S OFFICIAL! Date: 15 May 2001 12:41:34 -0400 (EDT) Straight from the mouth of the WB ... here's the fall line up. (Don't believe me? Check it out at the site http://www.thewb.com/fallseason2001/ ) SUNDAY: Lost in the USA Steve Harvey Men, Women, and Dogs Nikki Off Centre MONDAY 7th Heaven **Angel** TUESDAY Gilmore Girls Smallville WEDNESDAY Dawson's Creek Felicity THURSDAY Popstars2 Elimidate Deluxe Charmed FRIDAY Sabrina Maybe I'm Adopted Deep in the Heart Raising Dad ~Ailie McFarland~ Willow: Hey! Your hair ... is brown! Oz: Oh, yeah, sometimes. Oz: Oh, I sorta test well. Y'know, which is cool.Except that it leads to jobs. Willow: Well, don't you have some ambition? Oz: Oh, yeah! Yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth. Willow: Huh? Oz: Well, the E-flat, it's, it's doable, but that diminished ninth, y'know, it's a man's chord. Now, you could lose a finger. Buffy: Is it me or is this really lame? Oz: I don't know. I usually enjoy lameness, and this is leaving me kinda cold. Xander: Yeah, for a minute there I thought you're gonna make an expression. Oz: Well, I felt one coming on. I won't lie. Oz: Hey. Angel: Nice surprise. Oz: Thanks. Angel: Staying long? Oz: Few days. Doyle: Are they always like this? Oz: No, were usually laconic. - To unsubscribe to arfic-l, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe arfic-l" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Michele Bumbarger" <mbumbarger@hotmail.com> Subject: ADMIN Re: (arfic-l) IT'S OFFICIAL! Date: 15 May 2001 12:54:36 -0400 This is just a reminder to everyone subscribed to arfic-l that these types of posts are OFF TOPIC and not permitted. The only thing that should be posted to this list are fan fiction and fan fiction related materials. If there are any questions of what is appropriate and what is inappropriate, please refer to the RULES and POSTING GUIDELINES that you received when you first subscribed. If you no longer have this material, please contact me privately, off list (mbumbarger@neo.rr.com) and I will be happy to supply them for you. Posting of OFF TOPIC posts can result in your subscription becoming moderated (meaning that I have to approve all your posts when time permits for me to do so), temporarily suspended, and for several infringements, you will be unsubscribed. If you feel the need to post something off topic, please send the information to me. I will make the decision of whether or not to post said material. If I feel it warrants posting, I will do so. Thank you, The List Mom, Michele Bumbarger ----Original Message Follows---- Reply-To: arfic-l@lists.xmission.com Straight from the mouth of the WB ... here's the fall line up. (Don't believe me? Check it out at the site http://www.thewb.com/fallseason2001/ ) SUNDAY: Lost in the USA Steve Harvey Men, Women, and Dogs Nikki Off Centre MONDAY 7th Heaven **Angel** TUESDAY Gilmore Girls Smallville WEDNESDAY Dawson's Creek Felicity THURSDAY Popstars2 Elimidate Deluxe Charmed FRIDAY Sabrina Maybe I'm Adopted Deep in the Heart Raising Dad ~Ailie McFarland~ Willow: Hey! Your hair ... is brown! Oz: Oh, yeah, sometimes. Oz: Oh, I sorta test well. Y'know, which is cool.Except that it leads to jobs. Willow: Well, don't you have some ambition? Oz: Oh, yeah! Yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth. Willow: Huh? Oz: Well, the E-flat, it's, it's doable, but that diminished ninth, y'know, it's a man's chord. Now, you could lose a finger. Buffy: Is it me or is this really lame? Oz: I don't know. I usually enjoy lameness, and this is leaving me kinda cold. Xander: Yeah, for a minute there I thought you're gonna make an expression. Oz: Well, I felt one coming on. I won't lie. Oz: Hey. Angel: Nice surprise. Oz: Thanks. Angel: Staying long? Oz: Few days. Doyle: Are they always like this? Oz: No, were usually laconic. - To unsubscribe to arfic-l, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe arfic-l" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com - To unsubscribe to arfic-l, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe arfic-l" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message.