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youre-in-israel-when
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1998-07-26
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Subject: YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN ISRAEL WHEN. . .
You cross the street and a car purposely speeds up and honks
only when you have gotten to the sidewalk safely
When a cab will not take you where you want to go simply because
he is not going that way.
When every woman is wearing a high skirt, high black boots, and
has dyed red hair. . . at the beach.
When a cab driver is driving a car nicer than our parents drive
When an employee yells at you for asking them for help.How
fired would they be at home?SO FIRED!
When everybody in the restaurant you are eating at has a "pele
phone" but had to take the bus to get there.
When an old lady will physically harm you to get on the bus and
you find yourself actually fighting back.
When there are TV's and VCR's on the buses, but no bathrooms.
When any time you go to the bank or the post office they are
closed..
When you have to organize your day around going to the bank or
the post office.
When an Israeli describes a popular place as being "famous".
When you get a call from an Israeli and they say in an Israeli
accent "You know who is it?"
When an experienced tour guide gets you lost in the middle of
nowhere in the Golan Heights or in the desert.
When you are at a bus stop and the bus driver deliberately
drives off without you.
When there is a free AllYouCanEat buffet at the Supersol.
When you have to figure out how to flush the toilet.
When your bowel movements are anything but regular.
When you have to hunt down your waitress to get your bill.
When you look like shit and then an Israeli still insists that
you are beautiful.
When you have to scream at the driver to stop long enough for
everyone to get off the bus.
When people eat at 11:30 p.m., come home at 5 a.m., and go to
work at 7 a.m.
When the "hafsaka" in the movie is in the middle of the climax.
When you go to someone's house and they feed you till your pants
split.
When you find twenty relatives you never knew you had.
When nothing is a "problem", but everything is a big "balagan".
"Bezeq, Shalom."
It's Friday !!!