home
***
CD-ROM
|
disk
|
FTP
|
other
***
search
/
DP Tool Club 15
/
CD_ASCQ_15_070894.iso
/
vrac
/
sun9406.zip
/
HUM2
< prev
next >
Wrap
Text File
|
1994-06-02
|
3KB
|
80 lines
From The Mage's Workshop
Copyright (c) 1994, Joe DeRouen
All rights reserved
[The following article originally appeared in Texas Talk BBS's weekly
newsletter. The entire contents of the article are copyright (c) 1994,
Joe DeRouen, all rights reserved.
You can reach Texas Talk, a Dallas Texas based multi-line chat system,
by calling (214) 497-9100]
From the Mage's Workshop
by Mage
Last week, I mentioned that this week I'd be talking about "Chatting
with Weasels." Has Texas Talk gone to the animals? Are we all trapped
in some very strange MUD (Multi-user Dungeon) where you portray various
human-like animals?
Well, no. (Though I'm sure some of you might like to be) Though the
occasional possum, kitty, bunny, monkey, and polar bear might show up in
the electronic hallways, thus far no one's been brazen enough to use the
handle "Weasel."
A BBS weasel is more of an attitude. They encompass many other life
forms, from the fast-breeding HD's (ask someone what that one means, if
you don't already know) to the common garden variety trouble makers.
Simply put, a BBS weasel is someone that annoys you. Someone who seems
to have nothing to do *but* annoy you. Someone for whom this goal in
life has been set ablaze, and they follow it blindly through the night
like a moth to a raging inferno.
Yes, folks, the BBS weasel is alive and well, and breeding even as we
speak.
The species ranges from the mostly harmless lower grade weasels WhO tyPe
LiKe ThIs to the more free-ranging and generally more pesterful (it's a
word: trust me) LW's (letch-weasels) who's sole destiny in life seems to
be to see how many women (and, occasionally, men) he can get turned down
by.
The weasels WhO tYpE LiKe ThIs can usually be dealt with by time.
Simply put, they grow up. You may have to ignore them for a few years
or so, but, eventually, they'll stop. Of course, by then there's a good
liklihood that they've matured into the LW group. These can be a bit
harder to deal with.
LW's (sorry, I like that term better than HD's) are persistent, rarely
take no for an answer, and have a chemical imbalance in their brain that
makes them think that the majority of women in the world (and certainly
in the BBS world) enjoy being chased after like Elmer Fudd hunting
rabbits. That same chemical imbalance also makes them think that, in
their Fudd-like state, they'll be able to use such charming words as
"babe" and suggest Mydol(tm) as an all-encompassing solution to any and
all problem the female BBS user in question might have to somehow
attract the female into a weasel mating ritual. Weasels are a strange
lot, indeed.
What can you do to stop *This* kind of weasel? The /i,# (line number)
option works great, for starters. There's also complaining to the
SysOps, and, if all else fails, buying weasel traps. These hurt like
hell and actually prevent the weasel from mating and creating more of
his kind. Write to your US Congress(wo)man for more information on this
particular solution. Tell 'em Mage sent you.
The most effective solution, of course, is to simply out-weasel the
weasel. This solution takes a liberal amount of sarcasm, adds a bit of
a cutting edge, and tops it off with a flat-out insult. In other words,
make 'em feel like an idiot. Works every time* , I guarantee it.
* Guarantee invalid in the state of Texas
Next week: The *Female* variety of the BBS weasel