Cathablanca

Episode #17: "Meet Me At The Motel SiXXX!!""

Just after lunch at C*E*A headquarters, Steve walked into the offices on the executive floor of the building. He entered as he did everywhere he went, as if he owned the place, and was dressed as you'd expect a heavy metal superstar to dress. But one thing was different ... he was without his usual entourage of friends and hangers-on.

It was rare for Steve to show up at the C*E*A offices, and everyone stopped what they were doing to watch as he walked up to Cathie's office door. He turned, giving a casually defiant look back at the people who were staring at him. After blowing out a cloud of dense smoke in their direction, he dropped his lit cigar to the floor and crushed it out under his rattlesnakeskin cowboy boot. He opened the door without knocking, entered, and then shut the door behind him. After the door shut, the people outside the room could hear him trying to stifle a cough, and Apathy and ImSoCool started giggling.

Paulette was flabbergasted.

"OH WOW! It was HIM! It was REALLY HIM! Don't you think he's GREAT?!" gushed the transvestite. "I have EVERY ONE of his CD's!! And he's HERE! RIGHT IN THERE!!" he said as he pointed at Cathie's door excitedly.

Inside Cathie's office, Steve's eyes found Cathie's, and never left them for a second. He walked up to a chair in front of Cathie's desk, sat down and crossed his legs as Cathie, bemused, watched. His elbows on the chair's armrests, Steve brought his hands up to his face, palms together as if in a prayerlike gesture, and spoke.

"Hello, Cathie."

"Hello, Steve" responded Cathie tentatively. The tone of her voice carried a message beyond the words. Cathie was a brilliant, strong-willed woman, but at this moment, she was just a bit surprised and wary. Steve had not dared come to her office since the episode marring Cathie and Antonio's wedding night. But Francesca was in jail, and Antonio was in Spain attending his brother Ricardo's wedding.

"Cathie darling... I'm not one to beat about the bush when it comes to saying what it is I want. I want you. I want to make love to you. Now I know that Antonio's out of town. We can do this discreetly."

Unnoticed by Steve, Cathie's hand slowly reached down to her bottom left hand desk drawer and quietly opened it. Inside the drawer, on top of some files, was her trusty black leather whip.

"I figured out what it is about me that you hate," Steve went on. "It's the drugs and alcohol, isn't it? Well, I've been working on that problem and I believe I have it under control. I'll have you know that I've been clean and sober for nearly 48 hours now! CONSECUTIVE hours, Cathie! It's been HELL, but I did it for YOU!"

Cathie stood up behind her desk, allowing the whip to uncoil from her left hand.

"You revolting animal!" she yelled. "I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth!"

Steve bolted up out of his chair, backing away from Cathie as she came around the desk toward him. A loud pop could be heard even outside the office as she cracked the whip in front of Steve, who held his hands up palms out as he walked backwards towards the office door.

"N-N-Now Cathie! I'm not into that, you know! Why can't you be nice?" stuttered Steve nervously.

Just outside the door, Hippiechick, Posterity, Elmo, Apathy, Troll and Paulette were eavesdropping.

Steve lowered his voice to just above a whisper, in case anyone outside the door was listening.

"Cathie ... I didn't want to do this, but you've forced me! If you don't meet me tonight at the Motel SiXXX on Cahuenga at 9 o'clock, I'll go back to that courtroom and swear I saw Francesca commit the murder! That's right! She'll go to the ELECTRIC CHAIR, Cathie! I'll send her to her death! And it will be YOUR fault!"

Cathie froze, stunned. She couldn't believe what she just heard. Or could she? Was Steve crazy enough to do something like that?

"Cathie, my love! I'm not such a repulsive guy! Women everywhere want me ... I'll prove it to you! I'll bet I can open up this door, grab the first woman I see and make her melt in my arms! Just watch!"

With a half-crazed look on his face, Steve swung open the door, grabbed the first woman he saw, who happened to be Paulette, and kissed him full on the mouth! Sure enough, Paulette melted in his arms. He fainted. As his head fell back, his Dolly Parton signature series wig came off. But Steve, focused not on Paulette but on Cathie's face to see her reaction (hoping to see a trace of jealousy) let him drop to the floor without noticing.

"See, Cath? Women are crazy about me! I'm world famous! Think about my offer! I'll be expecting you! Don't disappoint me ... or ELSE!"

He turned and made his exit. Cathie and the others just stood there, stunned and unable to move.

'Yes' thought Cathie to herself. Steve WAS crazy enough to send his own sister to the chair if she didn't rendezvous with him...

Don't miss the next exciting episode!