Get your very own morbid souvenir

Thanks to the misguided suicides of 39 people, a salesman in California has a new bunk bed. "I think it will make a good conversation piece," Shawn Brennan told the Associated Press of his purchase from an auction of items left behind by the Heaven's Gate cult.

The largest mass suicide on U.S. soil occurred when members of the Heaven's Gate cult died after snacking on applesauce laced with vodka and barbiturates. That method of death-while gruesome and sure to make most people a little sick to their stomachs-only enhanced the value of the commercial blender used to mix the deadly treat.

"This stuff has a certain cachet just because of who it belonged to," said bidder Julie Strangeland.

The aptly named Strangeland, Brennan and over 300 others showed up at the auction to bid on the merchandise that was abandoned when the cult members "shed their earthly containers to join a spaceship trailing the Hale Bopp comet." Apparently, "shedding your container" involves committing suicide while wearing Nike tennis shoes, a purple shroud and a bag over your head. While the outfit sounds awfully similar to what Prince wore in the 80s, the second aspect of container-shedding was likely what gave Heaven's Gate its biggest recruiting problems.

It seems many of the cult members were also found with their testicles removed. This suggests either that castration was a requirement or that there were a few Heaven's Gaters with a nasty sense of humor. While the whole suicide thing may or may not have worked out for the cultists, they would be heartened to know that a random collection of their old books, beds and other household items were sold for significant amounts of money. This probably has nothing to do with the group's unique sense of style. It instead speaks to America's morbid fascination with collecting famous memorabilia without regard to how it attained that fame.

Once comprised mainly of old ladies looking for Hummel figurines and other knickknacks to put on the shelf next to the ribbon candy, the collectibles market has taken a decidedly villainous turn. Whereas we once collected items because they had been owned or associated with "positive" celebrities like sports stars, today's collector has no qualms about buying items made famous through their association with evil.

A black trench coat worn at Columbine has as much value as an autographed Babe Ruth home run ball. Hitler's hat is worth more than Tom Landry's, and a handwritten recipe from Jeffrey Dahmer's kitchen would probably sell for more than one of Emeril's kidneys.

The more horrifying the souvenir, the more interest the American public has in collecting it. The Heaven's Gate auction raised over $33,000, and the really "good" items-like the official cult patches and the jar full of testicles-weren't even put up for sale.

If we're going to cash in on the misery of others, perhaps the next group committing mass suicide would be nice enough to do it in a room full of Pokémon dolls. Imagine what a poison-soaked Pikachu would fetch at auction.