Guess which democrat hates you the most

I was leaning toward Hillary Clinton, but Al Gore's stand on Social Security makes it difficult to decide which Democratic candidate for office holds the American people in greater contempt. Clinton did have an early lead with her assumption that New Yorkers wouldn't notice that she didn't actually live in the state, but Gore's recent casual dismissal of the ability of the individual to manage his own finances has rocketed him back in front.

It seems the Vice President feels that letting people invest a portion of the money they're forced to contribute to Social Security would turn the system into one where there are "winners and losers." This would, he continued, "jeopardize the retirement security of all Americans." Apparently, only elected officials can jeopardize the retirement security of all Americans. They currently accomplish this quite nicely by producing a next-to-impossible 0% return on money held in the "Social Security trust fund."

It's hard to imagine a scenario in which individual investors would do a worse job than the government, because even a chimpanzee with learning disabilities should be able to beat 0%. Unless we all gave our money to whoever handled M.C. Hammer's finances or the guys who ran Planet Hollywood, it's a safe bet we'd all be winners in a game where victory means beating a Little League team with the 1927 Yankees.

Unlike the Vice President, Mrs. Clinton does a better job hiding her obvious distaste for the public. Rather than openly scoffing at our ability to care for ourselves, she merely implies that she could do it better. She even makes a token effort to appear like a woman of the people, donning baseball caps bearing the logo of whatever team the crowd in front of her supports. Like a band telling the fans in Palookaville that "they rock the hardest," the First Lady creates a faux bond with her audience pretending she cares and trying really hard to look like she's not counting the seconds until she can leave them.

Unfortunately, Clinton lacks the ability to believe her own story, so her attempt at bonding with the public comes off as sincere as a Bobby Knight apology. She wants us to believe she's one of us, but she's not willing to jump into the proverbial mosh pit to prove it.

Whoever actually disdains the public more, you can safely assume that both Clinton and Gore consider average people to be helpless children. As they see it, normal folks lack their profound wisdom, and under no circumstances should they be left to fend for themselves.

If you just turn over 50% of your income and most of your individual freedoms, Papa Al and Mama Hil will gladly decide what's best for you. In exchange for these "minor" sacrifices, you'll get a low-paying job, a crowded ranch house in the suburbs, at least one unreliable, over-priced car and a glorious $1,200 a month pension when you retire. You'll also get complete absolution from whatever problems your actions might cause. Whether it's poor financial choices, lack of family planning or simple incompetence, the government will gladly pick you up at the expense of the more able.

While it sounds nice, this type of thinking has led to such noted failures as the Soviet Union, the Carter administration and England's universal dental care system. It also brought us Cuba, ruined Ben & Jerry's and had a little something to do with a lot of bad rock albums.

Last Updated: 05/26/00
WebMistress: Cathie Walker
Author, Author!: Daniel Kline
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