Goddamn state at the mo! It really seems as of the police is looking for all known guys around here. Nevertheless I have to state that I'm moving to a nu home, that means a nu adress and nu telephone number. And as it went all on my nerves that my adress was damn spread as the telephone number was I decided to give it only to some very close friends of mine to be able to have my sleep in the afternoon... Aaaaahhhh...

Eh, I have to apologize to all who are wondering where their ILLEGAL from last month had gone to... Now, it's a bad excuse of course, but the truth is that the goddamn copy machine in the local shop was so fucked that I had to wait 2 weeks to get my usual copies... Now, this month some problemos, my printer ribbon is gone empty and and not a single shop in this goddamn town have a printer ribbon, so here goes a special thank to NICK KNATTERTON for lending me his one... Signing off this month but not without saying that I'll be in England for two weeks next month, so Venlo without me (who said: HOORAY?).

By the way, special super duper extra special glancified giga mega hyper hellos to my best friends, as they are: FAIRLIGHT (Tony, be careful of getting Aids in the Staids! Fred and Hob-Hobbit), ORION (Hoi, Leo, Mike and Mike's little brother), IKARI (YO, NIK babe, quite a shortie confie and YO to MARK), COMMANDOFRONTIER (Allan, I hope you'll pass the German exams again, but with my help... who doubts?), SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP (George, old dickhead, the bag crew is bag!), JEWELS (KNIGHT and SPIKE), TRIANGLE 3532 (the crackin' dane SWYXIE BABIE), BEASTIE BOYS (be also careful with Aids in the Staids, Robbie Tobbie and the Fleewa tuet), THE WANDERER GROUP (Mike the Moese, Inside the building, THINKER + MR.CURSOR), RADWAR SURPRISES (Markus + rest), FBR (Jese, eh, Joe), EAGLESOFT INC. (TRON), TAG (Dave), CRIME (John and Kevin), NEW BENCOR BROS (Andy, give a shit what Colin says), FUS-IAN, PUBLIC ENEMY NO.1 (Colin!), THE PAPILLONS (Morten!), KKK (Kevin), HOTLINE (old Tjaddie), REDLINE (Alech from Mechiko), OCTAGON (Mr.Fiend), TSK CREW, MANIACS OF NOISE, STARS (Smash + Gene) plus lots of others that I forgot here (no goddamn rankings!).

Brother regards to all in TRIAD, esp. to: JANNIE (shining from above can't get away that smile from his face), MR. and MRS. PINGE (ah, aah, aaaaah! Thanx for that great mag!), IXION (Dan, take some rouse pills), 801 DC (John), ROWDY (buy a new pen, greenie), HI-TEC (the mighty enemy of all wobblebugs is back to burn their pimples out!), T.K. (two weeks without parents. It's not difficult to become father, but to be one!), F.A.M.E. (fucking, smoking, what next, Mike?) and ACU (Welcum 2 ze gan', man!).

The two J's are shaking their heads, the trip seems to be not longer possible, but as far as they heard there exists someone who can make the impossible possible, so they don't care about 17 or 18, just the cider and beer keep 'em alive! Goodie buyie says JEFF SMART / TRIAD!

LETTERS FROM THE READERS

Dear SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP,

it was nice to see someone with a bunch of ideals in this corrupt pirate society of today... I just wish to remind you that your views are not totally new to us, infact I have been trying to tell the world exactly this for a long time. Since I have now quit, you are TAKING OVER a tradition of quality cracking, not CREATING it...

Just keep that in mind, maybe take a look at TIGER HELL and GOOD LUCK... If I return then you may be crushed like a maggot under a Testarossa as all our other competitors but if I don't, GO FOR IT! You have my blessing... finally one thing... OUR INTRO is, I believe, true ancient history - a fundamental part of what you can call "the good old days!".

JANITOR of TRIAD (I'm wicked (or bad?))

NEWS FROM SYSTEM 4

ZIP! Anutha month passed by with shocking 'n inciting events that are presented rite 'ere...

• FANTASY, ex-FCS leader, tried to commit suicide, 'cuz of losing anutha match against his girl-friend, who woz fucked by a friend of him. I was told that he pricked his leg seven times with a big knife until the knife broke into pieces. Who said that girls aren't ruling?
• After TPI asked TRIAD to join, he wrote back: -"Thank you for your offer, but I built up my own group!". Hup, when did we make him an offer? Tell me when, Juergen? Hum, anyway his group is called INXS (why music-groups? Where has own creativity gone?) and several members from the SHARKS joined it.
• Sensation! Sensation! SLEDGEHAMMER from HOTLINE bought a new jacket! Nobody wanted to believe his eyes when seeing SLEDGY appearing in a white jacket! I guess I saw him 10 times before that famous brown leather jacket... First assumptions were that he now has expanded to selling games, but...
• Ever heard of SOFT TIGER CREW? They joined dead ACE, but now look here: They're buying stuff from several guys, e.g. ORION, FUSION and so on... Maybe they also paid a lot of AUSTRIAN SHILLING to enter ACE, but for that money one would get a better group?!
• Now... as olde IAN left FUSION (look also on the special article "Man Without Machine"), THE JESTER was kicked out by the two guys remaining, namely MARK and CRAIG. Now THE JESTER joined forces of the AMIGA group PUBLIC ENEMY NO.1, no connections with that US group.
• What for the hell happened to good old SURVIVORS?? It really seems as if only one guy survived, that's BOBA FETTE, who's still importing all stuff from NIK of IKARI. Now it can be heard that BADD BOY, after getting one of these nice telephone bills, built up his own new group called CRIME. Huh... shuddering name, eh?
• THE WANDERER GROUP, who have always been very interested in American groups took in another talented importing gang that is NEW AGE.
• STEVE and IRONFIST of ZENITH were arrested for stealing franked stamps from STEVE's former employees. Now one can be arrested for being a pirate, but not for stealing stamps, urghs?!
• Here's the new INTERNAL TRIAD status: As LUCIFER was kicked out, IXION's new emergency plan activated a guy called ROWDY, who can make excellent cracks now.
• Some who don't have to prove that they are excellent crackers are ACU from SOLDIERS AGAINST PROTECTION. Now ACU (2 guys) and another one, called DREAM DANCER reinforces the German TRIAD section, so watch out for releases of the German ones.
• Always wondering who's writing the instructions for all FAIRLIGHT cracks?? As STRIDER told after having drunken several beers, that he always forces his two little brothers to do this... Nice idea, mon!
• At the mo every German is afraid of the consequences that the MCG raid has brought about, but read "Lion Talk" by MR.DECIBEL of ORION for more thinx about that.
• HU... HU... as I was told by lots of English guys, ANDY from NEW BENCOR BROS supplied that official magazine COMMODORE USER (there was a big article about English crackers announced) with nothing less than this somehow known magazine called eh, I dunno, well, I guess, hmmm... wasn't it? yes, the "ILLEGAL". The only thing I care about this, is that the March edition he sent to 'em, was rather bad comparing this one 'ere. So, maybe I'll send 'em this nu one!
• I got MAD ALL from COMMANDOFRONTIER finally to give out the names from the new CFR members and so they are not only PRINCE and SHADOW known formerly as THE AUSTRIAN CREW (hups? Did I miss sumthing?) but also LETO II, who got quite famous being ex-TRANSCOM grafix man (remember his work for "ROCK IT"), cuz he felt that TRANSCOM was a bit too large (that could not happen in TRIAD, eh??) and as he WAS a fan of BUBULAND's drawings his choice and CFR's of course was only natural.
• Now, other German guys had to say farewell 'cuz getting in contact with the always watching BIG BROTHERS, better known as "THE POLICE" (yes, I think I've heard of 'em!). So were FREESTYLE caught getting packages from the post office on their PLK and LUPO of ONLINE at his home where the police just rang his doorbell. Now, state at PLASTIC's (from FREESTYLE) home is gone veeery low as his mother denies that he's at home everyday 24 hours, hum? Rumours said that his phone is monitored so don't call him saying "well, my adress is....", that could bring sum trouble with it.
• Everybody's wondering what happened to ORION?! Now it seems that TCF, TBF and FCT of ORION built up a group called SPHINX secretly behind the back of all other ORIONeers to grab all their contacts and come out under this name now. They also spread some veeeeery funny rumours, for example I was quite surprised that MR.DECIBEL joined TRIAD (!) and DSH will exclusively work on Amiga in one week and join FAC again, NUP! NO! NEIN! NJET! Totally bullshit. Now as they have to start from the beginning, on the same point they were picked up, they're going to steal ORION's contacts and spreading false rumours, anutha funny one is that they get originals from HEADBANGER in the USA, but he's only on Amiga right now as he told me, so more crap. Now it seems as they won't live for long 'cuz ORION sweared revenge which is their good right. But we all know what happens to such guys who leave bigger groups (take ELRIC of AGILE as a bad example who was kicked out of TRIAD).

MAD ALL'S MAILBOX

Excelsior! Who's been playing dirty, who's died and who's back, read it here and believe it...

• Finally something is happening in this boring country I'm accidently stuck in (Belgium). B-ART and WOW have decided that strength in members is the way to the top and have merged dropping both groups and naming themselves after an old 64 legend: FLASH.
• Another piece of homenews for here, can Belgium take it? Ever heard of LEGEND? Not yet, well watch your screens coz this is a new international group containing ex-members of Belgium's CHINA SYNDROME, ORION, NEW-LIFE, SIGMA, TSW, SHIELD and TRILOGY.
• GENESIS PROJECT (ah, not that from the STAR TREK movies) have attracted 2 new groups to their already big family, to be more specific: RAW and MELMAC TEAM.
• But not all groups are getting bigger this month, those German SHARKS lost a few people like TPI, ULTIMAX and MCT... Ah well the lord moves in mysterious ways.
• I had the pleasure to recieve a reviewer's copy of "DIGITAL NEWS", the electronic magazine on disc and although my knowledge of German is limited, to say the least, I spent the best part of 3 hours of enjoyment with it and I can fully recommend it to all you out there, there seems to be an attitude towards pirates not to buy it, coz they think themselves too important to pay for a disc, but they forget that DIGITAL NEWS is a magazine like 64'er and Happy Computer, but much better worth that money. So go out and buy it, you have MAD ALL's approval of quality.
• After half a year of success the Venlo copyparties seem to be slowing down after the best one on the 16th of April there won't be any big one before July or September, coz a lot of people will stay away on the May and June parties coz those dreaded exams are heading straight ahead and in the summer there always is a big black hole in the software releases. Some big names want to come to the July-edition, but you know that a pirate's world is always tracherous (otherwise he wouldn't be a pirate - dummy).
• For a good laugh read the preview section in "Games Machine" when they are talking about a new mega-game which is just finished and will be released in 6 weeks if we're lucky. Oh yes, the game is called something like: The Games: Winter Edition.

POLICE PARTY ORGANIZED BY MCG?

REACTIONS TO THE MCG PARTY by MR.CURSOR of TWG and CORUM of MSC (AMIGA):

Being very impatient, we just entered the town after a very long journey from the other end of West Germany. We lost our way several times and arrived later than intended. Now we may call ourselves lucky as we recognized later! Still angry 'cause of the loss of time we didn't recognize the men with big walkie-talkies running up and down the street where the party should take place. Nobody thought about plain clothes.

The closer we got to the youth-hostel, the more the number of police cars increased and we arrived just in time to see policemen pushing out some kids of the house and rummaging their cars! For the very first time in the scene a copy party was dissolved by the police! About 17 Amigas, 20 C64 and 3000 disks had been confiscated and 8 guys were led off.

We stopped the car two miles away from the hostel and went back! On the way we met TOM of MCG who told us some very strange things, TOM had been busted by the police the day before (!!!).

It is unclear whether it all happened accidentally or whether it was set on foot by some well-informed persons. We have a strong reason to believe that TOM of MCG is making common cause with the police. A lot of people phoned MCG the night before the party but noone was told that MCG had closer contact with the police! You really wonder why someone who is caught by the police is giving a copyparty the day after. Why didn't they just call off the party or just mentioned that they had closer contact with the police?

As we met TOM he didn't seem to be depressed at all. IT IS POSSIBLE that TOM promised the police to offer some guys to reduce his own punishment? /MR.CURSOR/TWG + CORUM/MSC

NOW WHAT HAD MCG TO SAY ABOUT THIS?

As I talked to MARCEL/DSI/SLAYER of MCG he told me the following:

-"As the police came on the day before the party, I threw my adress book away into the dust bin and after my brother brought it down, I wasn't able to call any of my friends. After all I don't know what happened the other day at the party place, but I don't care about this."

Finally I personally would like to add that even though MCG promised to beat me up I will write a further article about them here, I decided to print not only other opinions (as from ORION and TWG) but their own one (LOOK UP!), so at least I think that's fair and I haven't said my point yet, but even though I again expect the worst. Nevertheless I would be very thankful for any additional information about the happenings there, especially from guys that were directly confronted. /JS

MAN WITHOUT MACHINE!

As everybody knows IAN, founder, leader and housemaid of FUSION - MAN AND MACHINE - quit C64 to start an Amiga career. But now, OH WONDER!, he also quit his Amiga stuff!

Thousands of false rumours were spread. It can be heard that IAN was fed up with his friends or things like that... What's the truth? I got a letter from IAN, so I won't hesitate to print it 'ere in parts... Well, here we go:

-"I quit FUSION, the group I started and took to the top. I left not because of anything other than that I want to spend more time with my family and less time with computers. I thought that by going Amiga I would be able to cut my input to the group down, but it wasn't to be. I am trying to decide now whether to quit computers for good! My family deserves more of my time than I have been giving." Signed, IAN of FUSION

But you can continue supporting IAN with used stamps but not with disks! Therefore IAN like to print a GREAT BIG THANX to some of the groups who have sent him stamps: TRIAD, ORION, DOMINATORS, IKARI, ZENITH, SRG, TSK, PAPILLONS, INX, DCU, TRIANGLE, WOD, SHARKS, KCS, UPFRONT... /JS

LION TALK

YO (or HOI for JEFF), this is MR.DECIBEL of ORION writing his first article in ILLEGAL and surely not his last. The name for my column is "LION TALK". I took that name, because I once made a text file for my contacts and everybody started spreading it as a demo.

Oh, what will I be writing? I try to get some and hot newwies every month, write some crap about ORION and always send fuckings to old smellie al kajeffie (haha). No, the last was a joke of course. I think we all have to praise JEFF for starting ILLEGAL. I hope we soon can find some people who will help to make it more professional. I start looking, oh JEFF. But now some latest news...

THE TRUTH ABOUT THE MCG RAID...

As everybody knows there was the copy party in Marl, Germany. MCG (MADONNA CRACKING GROUP) said it was an ORION-MCG party but since DSI was kicked out of ORION, it was no longer an ORION party. So almost everyone came just because of ORION and of course not of MCG.

Now as MCG were so very depressed of their first party in December 87 cos it was so damn shit, so they wanted a success now with every possible means for example enclosing ORION, even though, but you know we had nothing to do with it. So they made 3000 copies of the invitation for the party and spread it like hell. They were so stupid to write the full adress on the invitation, so it was no wonder that one day before the party took place (on 6th of May) the police arrived at homes of MARCEL/DSI and MCG. And Marcel freaked out totally at the police station and started telling lies and giving out adresses and nobody of MCG warned anyone the guys that wanted to come to the party, no, they made a deal together with the police to get better punishment when lots of guys are catched at their party place. Mean, isn't it?

Now as far as I heard, WOD, ONL, INXS and some others were caught! Now they can thank MCG, that must not show up anywhere around here. Well Marcel, I hope you can read this, casue whenever I see you, I am going to kick your ass so bad that... well let it be a surprise for DSI... We'll meet soon, Marcel! Argh.

Now, one wonders what MCG were up to, releasing old shit games with new names, that's all they can do and when they're going to crack a new game they aren't able to do it. Take Target Renegade, a known multi-load (it's said on the original cover) game, which best version came from JANITOR/TRIAD. Now MCG made a one part of it, hahaha! They're really very good when they can pack a multi-load in one file!

Now only the Americans prefer MCG releases of old games, cause everybody forget those games. Now MCG are dead and nobody cares! But OK, you see right beside an article from the German daily newspaper "WAZ" for all of you who can understand German. There it's said that the police got a hint for that party, cause everybody's hating them. Now, luckily it seems as if nobody wants to trade with those pigs anymore and that's the best one can do, cause nobody wants to take the risk that MCG spread their adress again!

Now, there are of course still cool and nice dudes on the computer scene left. Let's greet them. My personal greetings go to:

DSH - my best pal, TRIAD (JEFFIE, TK, JANITOR and MR.PINGE), FAIRLIGHT (STRIDER, nice talking and nice stuff), IKARI (NIK, JUST ICE, TRI-DOS), PAPILLONS (I'll call you soon), THE WANDERER GROUP, FUSION, HOTLINE, COMMANDOFRONTIER and many, many more, just too tired to write more.

Ok, to finish this first edition of "LION TALK" I want to add the all that all those people who didn't recieve anything or haven't heard from me for a while I am doing my exams and I will finish them in about 2 weeks (end of May) and ORION will be same as ever in the meantime, but we'll only get better when I return and then everyone can trade with me again instead of TBF, who's now back to being lame. Sorry to disappoint you for a few weeks, but it has paid off for me, cause it seems as if I'm passing all my exams and sorry for so many excuses, but I know you all understand... Your mate, MR.DECIBEL/THE LION of ORION (ORION are now only: DSH + MR.DECIBEL)

-"THANK YOU FOR USING AT&T, SIR!"

The European's new kind of playing! Calling American telephone service AT&T (American Telegraph & Telephone) and making "AT&T Calling Card Calls". Now what's that?

Well, big American companies give their employees codes for making business calls that include a fixed amount of money. This code consists of 14 digits, for example such as 41593089102614. Using this code you can call any American friend of yours you like to for only one telephone unit. You only have to call the American AT&T station from your country, give the operator the number of your American friend and this code. Nothing's easier!

The only problem is that such a code isn't working for a long time, in best ways up to 5 days. Now, you can call US doods that have 3-way and then can call anutha friend of yours. Normally such a "direct-call" is used for importing, 'cuz it offers quite a good connection, except from Germany. Anyway, this offers you new possibilities to keep your telephone bill as low as possible and your parents wondering why you spend the whole night in a telephone box. /JS

INTERVIEW OF THE MONTH: STRIDER OF FAIRLIGHT

Searching through all groups on the pirate market, one hardly finds a group that was constantly on the top. So here you got STRIDER, the leader of FAIRLIGHT - "The Home of the Real Crackers"...

• How many years are you shocking your parents now?
  I have been kicking my dad's ass for 17 years now.
• When did you buy your first computer and why?
  I got my first computer, a C64 of course for Christmas 1983 but still don't know why. Then at the end of 1987 I finally got an Amiga to explore the 16-bit world.
• When was FAIRLIGHT founded?
  It was formed after a big internal fight in WEST COAST CRACKERS around Easter '87.
• Where have you got that name from?
  The probably best synthesizer is called: "Fairlight" and as I am a great fan of such music I took that name. By the way, groups like DEPECHE MODE or J-M JARRE are using "Fairlight".
• How many members do belong to FAIRLIGHT?
  At the moment we are STRIDER, BLACK SHADOW, GOLLUM (the first actual members) and HOBBIT (who was formerly ANUBIS), GANDALF (formerly LORD BLITTER), WILFO and EXCALIBUR.
• Who are your best friends and enemies in this rough world?
  My best and oldest friends are RADWAR, FAC, HOTLINE and TRIAD, and I hate people who would hesitate chopping a communist's head in front of his family.
• Which games, demos, movies and music do you like the best?
  Games (C64): Elite, Gunship, Uridium and M.U.L.E.
  Demo: ROCK IT by C64CG
  Movies: Aliens, Platoon, Rambo I, II, III, IV and V
  Music (C64): Skate or Die!
• What are you doing in your sparetime?
  I watch movies, movies and movies... Sometimes when I'm really bored I do a little homework!
• What was the best incident you ever had?
  The party in Venlo and especially the party afterwards in Bottrop, but now I'll go to the USA for two months in the summer. Yeah!
• How do you see the 64's future?
  Maybe it will be OK for 1 or 2 years, but I think then the Amiga will take over everything.
• What are you going to do now?
  I have now quit the C64 to start programming on the awesome Amiga! All the originals that are released here will be cracked by GOLLUM, but I'll still be trading like a crazy motherfucker.

THE 11TH OFFICIAL COMMODORE SHOW!

Showtime in England! Next month the COMMODORE SHOW will be in London on Friday 3rd, Saturday 4th and Sunday 5th of June from 10 AM to 6 PM each day. Address is: Novotel, Hammersmith, London W6, England.

Mostly English guyz will be there and so will many Europeans. It costs 3 pounds for adults and 2 pounds for children (under 16). If you cannot make this show, don't miss the PCW SHOW in September - everyone will be there! /LAZER of NBB

RADWAR / TRIAD PARTY

Here it is! The long awaited successor to the brilliant RADWAR PARTY!! So if you like to be three days over a weekend in the summer holidays in good old Germany, then write at once for detailed information to: RWE/TRIAD PARTY, PLK XXXXXX X, XXXX HEINSBERG, GERMANY.

One last advice: Commit suicide NOW if you don't want to see what THE MASTERS OF PARTIES are going to do for you! /MWS and JS

VENLO MEETING ON APRIL 16TH 1988

THE VENLO MEETING, 16th OF APRIL 1988! Finally the ultimate meeting in VENLO! Believe it or not, about 600 guys showed up there! Among them, names like: FAIRLIGHT (STRIDER and GOLLUM who came from Sweden), IKARI (NIK, MARK and PAUL), FUSION (JESTER), HOTLINE of course, RADWAR, CFR, TRANSCOM, TWG, ORION, ILLUSION, TRIAD and many others who were almost killed by so many lamers. It was so overcrowded that it took you half an hour to get from one end of the room to the other.

Even though NIK of IKARI was wearing a ring around his finger, he let me know that he still to have. It seems as if all guys from TRANSCOM are very shy as they didn't speak a single word to me, perhaps they couldn't. SLEDGEHAMMER from HTL got the biggest applause showing his new jacket.

But the time was too short, when you know that FAIRLIGHT arrived at 1.30 pm and TONY almost tore the flag of the GDR in the entrance hall down (God knows why GDR flag is set in the entrance hall, maybe especially for Tony?).

The new stuff was a minor thing on that day, because it was a historical one! NOBODY can name a comparable meeting where so many big name groups came together, even the DANISH GOLD was beaten out by the DUTCH ones! The central meeting point was a small food shop outside, where nobody could believe that FAIRLIGHT from SWEDEN and IKARI from ENGLAND really made that far journey. But unfortunately this best of all meetings ended at 4, so we had to say farewell to all (buhuuuu...), except FAIRLIGHT, RADWAR and some other very good friends were secretly invited to THE BOTTROP TRIAD PARTY, same day!

After everybody blamed for not finding the way back at once, we (Tony and me) opened the first bottle of GERMAN BEER just arrived at MIKE's (of F.A.M.E. / TRIAD) home. After making lotsa photos for all friends who had the bad luck of not being here we sat down in a quiet corner of the room, drank our bottles of KROMBACHER PILS and talked for hours until we went out into town, singing in the city, eating Greek GYROS (thanx, Tony) and talking to some American girls from the telephone box that were called by STRIDER just for free.

We crawled back, everybody looking at a crowd of about 20 guys cheering and screaming in the darkness. Having stolen two road signs on the way back, Tony and me raped some other bottles of beer while making some 3-ways. F.A.M.E. composed a new sound as some guys already tried to sleep but without any chance. Why? Guess what JEFFIE did after 8 bottles of beer? Look on the photo down below, where old graphician PGI tried to get some sleep but JEFFIE opened the window behind him and sprinkled some water over him.

Guess how TONY looked like after 10 bottles? His eyes were opened only for the half as normal and he finally sat down in the corner to sleep but before he had to write a demotext for a small "PARTYTIME" demo that you shall watch out for! So almost everyone fell asleep at 6 or 7 o'clock (as far as I can remember), but had to rise 2 hours later as the two Swedish guys had to leave at 10 to meet GOLLUM's parents waiting at the autobahn. So I left also very quickly so that I didn't have to clean the room. Remembering these brilliant hours back, I can say that this was the best party I ever had and it seems as if I am not the only one who thinks so... /JS

THE SILENTS COPYPARTY ON APRIL 5-8TH 1988

This is a short story about THE SILENTS copy-party in Alvesta/Sweden 1988! There were promised to show up a few big groups, but unfortunately there were almost just a bunch of Swedish lamers. OK, I went there and when I arrived I found the place where the party was held. It was in some kind of big room and two other smaller rooms. I met some old friends from older times and that was really cool. But it was terrible to see all these lamers going around and showing each others demos.

OK, there were some cool guys. Some groups like XAKK, SSS, DEFJAM (coolest Amiga-group in Sweden), FRONT/RIFFS and a few more unknown guys. OK, there were a few TRIAD members too like: MR.PINGE, 801 DC, IXION, DEVIL, SKYIE & COZMO. Anyway we had great fun by joking around with all the lamers at the party. A demo-competition was held and the winner in the competition was XAKK's "WHY SLEEP". Well as you see, not much to say about this party, but anyway thanx to THE SILENTS for arranging it cause it was cool to meet my old friends!! Signed: MR.PINGE / TRIAD!!

DELIRIOUS vs ILLEGAL - PART II

Have I talked about Delirious Magazine, that official TRANSCOM propaganda last month only in good words, so I HAVE TO CORRECT MYSELF! Now what happened?

It seems as if the old C64CG members again started a war (remember their old "fuckings" to BEASTIE BOYS, TRIAD and almost every other group). This time against the whole ILLEGAL team. So they wrote an article for their magazine about "ILLEGAL", that we only represent the interests of 2 groups, namely CFR and TRIAD. Now JAYCE, editor of Delirious Mag refused to write that nevertheless none of us will work his ass off to help them anymore, because it's always the same with them when they think they've grown too known. So most of the ANTI-TRANSCOM-POWER is to expect from CFR, so it is to expect a cool demo soon while TRANSCOM are still learning to speek Engleaschz... /JS

THE STORY OF SYSTEM 4

Zip! You just wanted to stand up and go to HER as she suddenly disappears in one of the back rooms. Hmmm, you think, what's going on here without you...

Anyway, again you start to concentrate on a bottle of beer, thinking about the possibilities of going to HER and just confess your love to HER (and commit suicide as she laughs at you...), SHE comes back out of the back room and stands now together with some girlfriends of hers and drinking also a beer. No, you think, what if she really laughs at you when you fall down on your knees and say: -"I love you, dear!"? No, you just can't do it. So you keep quiet and wait for the final moment.

You order another bottle and then ZUP! you don't remember anything as you wake up in your bed the other day. Your head is aching like hell when you grab your sunglasses and reach out for the bus. School is taking your whole time the next days, 'cause you want to get good marks to improve in your job and earn lots of money. So you don't really have the time to seek out for your dream-girl, even though you now took the same sport course as she did. You're counting and you notice that you've loved HER for about 2 months now and nothing changed. Your friends are wondering why you are so unactive at the moment. You spend a thought on her character and find out that this is maybe not that what you can consider to belong to a dream-girl, but hasn't she the nicest face ever seen?

The situation in SYSTEM 4 is really hard, 'cause the ever-present police catched some of your friends during a meeting that was badly organized by some IQ-less J-classers. Your luck you weren't there, why go to a J-class organized meeting? You were totally right. Those lamers have now been kicked out, 'cause of being damned by other hundreds of guys who found out that those J-class guys did things together with the police. Hups, how mean... Anyway, you don't give them a single thought, even though you know the origin of all evil.

You remember with great pleasure that meeting last month where finally lots of A-class members shook hands. Aaaah, so why making an own party? Only to enlarge pleasure a bit? A damn good reason, but if you take that in your hands, nothing can go wrong. Now, it's normal day-life you meet HER in the bus, but still without the courage to talk to HER not to loose your first life in the great game. You haven't counted the times you've thought about talking and embracing HER, but it seems as if it had now been 2 years instead of 2 months. The more you hear HER talking the more you recognize that SHE might be a big mistake for you, but still this feeling makes your heart bumping like hell when you look into HER magic eyes.

It's Friday as you leave the bus for another frustrating day at school when SHE appears with a boyfriend (!) who holds HER hand and SHE looks back with a happy smile. A ROCK HIT YOU! ONE LIFE LOST! To be continued... /JS

MAD ALL'S GUIDE TO COMPUTER LANGUAGE!

"BIT"

a word to describe computers as in: "My computer costs a bit"

"BUG"

what computer companies often do with your adress when they've got your broken computer

"CHIPS"

fattening, non-nutritious food that computer users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboard for months

"COPY"

what you have to do with your neighbours' schoolwork as you spent too much time at the computer and not enough at school

"CURSOR"

what you turn into when you can't get your modem to connect

"ERROR"

what you made the first time you walked into a computer store just to "have a look"

"EXPANSION UNIT"

the new room in your house you have to build to house all the extra memory of your computer

"FLOPPY"

condition of a hacker's stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food (also see "CHIPS")

"HARDWARE"

things such as water, soap or a tooth-brush and any other equipment you haven't laid your hands on since getting your computer

"MENU"

what you'll never see after buying a computer because you'll have no money left to eat in a restaurant

"PROGRAMS"

those things you used to look at on your television before you switched your computer on

"RAM"

what you do with your head on your drive when it's not working properly

"RETURN"

what a lot of people do with their computer after only half a week

"WINDOW"

what you throw your computer out of, when you accidently ereased a program you've been working on for five weeks

THE OFFICIAL TRIAD RANKINGS DATED 19-5-1988!

IKARI (dididumdumdidi), ORION (hoi!), FAIRLIGHT (all the best, Tony!), COMMANDOFRONTIER (Allan, a real friend for life!), 2000 AD, FUCKED BEYOND REPAIR better known as FBR (Joe!), PUBLIC ENEMY NO.1 (Colin!), SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP (the bag crew's back!), NEW AGE USA, TRIANGLE 3532, WARRIORS OF DARKNESS, PAPILLONS, JEWELS, ULTIMATE CRACKING GROUP, NEW BENCOR BROTHERS and TSK-CREW. German 19-5-1988, Swedish 16-6-1988... /JS

VID.. VID.. VIDEO REVIEWS

Hello, freaks, LAZER from the NEW BENCOR BROTHERS returns again with some new VIDEO reviews for ya!

• RUNNING MAN: Another cool film starring GOD (Arnold Schwarzenegger!). This time, Arnold is sometime in the future where he plays the role of a contestant in a futuristic game show. But this is no ordinary game show, because if the contestants lose, they die! Arnold isn't the loosing type and he certainly isn't the dying type, so he decides to take on the game show controllers. What happens then? Go and see the film to find out!!! Rating: 92%
• THE UNTOUCHABLES: The Untouchables stars Sean Connery as head of a crime-fighting team of Chicago cops (a sort of 1930's S.W.A.T.). A good film if you like "King of Chicago" on ya Amiga! Rating: 67%

VIDEO STARS - MAY 1988

1. PREDATOR
2. RUNNING MAN
3. FATAL ATTRACTION
4. MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE
5. ROBOCOP
6. BEVERLY HILLS COP II
7. NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET III
8. AMERICAN NINJA II
9. FULL METAL JACKET
10. THE FLY

C64 GAME REVIEWS

This month only a couple of games arrived because of the notorious summer gap ...buhuuuu... no change in sight?

• STAR RANK BOXING / GAMESTAR: Looks totally like Mc Guican Boxing released in 1986. Movements were improved, now various tactical moves are possible. Offers save option on disk, saves down world ranking list. Training camp as the game itself nice, but because of the fact that one fight last for 15 * 3 minutes REALTIME it gets boring by first playing. Hum, otherwise an old idea has been quite well improved. So, the ILLEGAL ranking looks like 59 pts.
• SAMURAI WARRIOR - THE ADVENTURES OF USHAGI YOJIMBO: Well, we got that game in a non-full-working preview version two months ago. Now it works perfectly. Very nice sprites with great animations and jimbajimba sound serve the oriental atmosphere. Nice graphics also, now it becomes a little bit exhausting after a while, who cares? 81 pts
• LAZER TAG / GO!: Huh, the "First non-violent shoot'em-up" was announced in the big advertisements. So how's it? SHIT! The movements of your figure are that bad as you are used to know from games that have their origin in 1983. The graphics are also that 1983 standard and haven't seen any non-violent things as you are shot down after a few seconds by the lazer armed guys. So what? GO! GO HOME! 13 pts
• CYBERNOID / HEWSON: Brilliant sound from MANIACS OF NOISE makes the dull game concept more interesting. Now you have to solve (or to shoot) several tasks with your spaceship by thinking sometimes and shooting like hell. Great graphics and cute sprites are as included as a nice intro screen. 85 pts
• KARNOV / DATA EAST: Ever heard of DATA EAST? Remember the US version of Ikari Warriors, yes, DATA EAST made that. Remember the conversion of Breakthru which was sooo damn bad, yes, also done by DATA EAST. So, what do you expect from KARNOV? Nothing, and you're right. The graphics look like singlecolour, the speed of the sprite is so slow that you can you can easily drink a cup of coffe while your figure makes a jump, argh... lamest rubbish and that on two disk sides. Stay east, Data East. 10 pts
• SHANGHAI KARATE: Urghs. Slower than a snail, two fighters are trying to smash their ugly heads to uglier places and you have to move them. Not a nice job, eh? The graphics do not change, that's not so bad, either, because they aren't good. No sound can be heard, no tensions can be aroused even if you're playing one on one human opponent. No, thank you very much! 9 pts
• BOB WINNER / LORICEL: Hum... nice atmospheric graphics, but such a bad sound fix that I first in my life switched off the sound of my monitor. The game sucks, too. Moving a bad animated sprite with a tooo heavy movement from left to right without scrolling isn't that one can dream of, eh? So I advise you to have instead of looking at BOB WINNER a look at NIKKI PENNY, the public relation woman of LORICEL because that's more interesting (look at The Games Machine, Issue 6, page 5), so ranks for her: 95 but for BOB WINNER gets only 18 pts.
• PARANOIA COMPLEX / MAGIC BYTES: A lot of guys will wonder right now, but only three guys in the pirate market have got this game that will be released in September. Well, I can only say that this is bad luck for all of you, because it's the best game MAGIC BYTES released so far. You move with your man through a large labyrinth of a town, where you can improve your weaponry and things like that. The title sound is fantastic! So, I think you have to wait a little bit until you'll see it. 88 pts
• IMPOSSIBLE MISSION II / EPYX: FINALLY! The game appeared after a curious preview. AH! That's what my heart really wants. Everything's improved! You have 8 different towers to search through for hidden code numbers that let you, in the right order, enter the next tower. New features like moving on platforms left to right, up and down, using bombs to destroy treasures etc. have also been included! After you managed to get through all 8 levels, you have to destroy all treasures in the towers to get parts of a music song, that doesn't sound good. Anyway, you have to bring these parts in the right order and play it somewhere where a secret door to ELVIN's tower opens. HUM? EASY, EH? I would be glad if writes if he discovered ELVIN's tower, okey? This game will take your breath for a while, I bet! ILLEGAL ranking of 98 pts!
• 4x4 OFF ROAD RACING / EPYX: Take your car and make a drive! It features elements from Outrun and Buggy Boy, but isn't that exciting game. You have to be careful on the streets because other drivers like to smash you off the road. You can choose between 4 different courses, 4 levels and 4 cars. Now you have a hard race overtaking all other drivers. Hum, not that bad, well it's okey, but only 86 pts
• G.U.T.Z. / OCEAN: Try to escape from a stomach of a monstrous moon, sounds strange, eh? This game was written by OCEAN's programmer team SPECIAL FIX, who sign responsible for Firefly and Freddie Hardest for example, and they did their best work so far. The task of the game is to find weapons in the labyrinths inside the monster (burgs...) and destroy a special part after 4 levels, so a liver and a heart... Fine graphics and a great sound (Fred Gray), but it soon gets boring after some levels because the labyrinths stay all the same, so the ranks are 86 pts

AMIGA GAME REVIEWS

• ACT OUT / DIGITAL IMAGE: Oh my God, another of these non-stopping Breakout series... This time the company stole the ideas from Krakout and the sprites almost 100% from Arkanoid. Anyway ACT OUT features saveable high scores and an editor. A new thing is so-called Black Field where the ball disappears and appear in another Black Field. Up to 2 Players can compete moving their bats up and down on the left side of the screen, but only using the mouse. The sounds are normal Amiga standard. So new ideas would have been better, nevertheless not the worst Breakout game. 68 pts
• AAARGH / ARCADIA: Aaargh, also announced to be released on the 64 by MELBOURNE HOUSE is a kind of Rampage in which you can choose between two different monsters, that are a dinosaur and a cyclope. Now you have to destroy some very well drawn cities, villages, castles etc. Great stereo-effects and a funny but difficult bonusgame make the game very interesting, even though the joystick movements are quite hard. 87 pts
• BARBARIAN / PALACE SOFTWARE: Another goddamn 64 conversion that features the same graphics and sprites as on the 64, not much better. But the sound-effects are as great as some sampled speeches. It seems to me as if the game got more difficult than on the 64, anyway still a good game. 82 pts
• FRED FEUERSTEIN / TEQUE: After funny graphics and funny speech (YABBADABBADOOOOOO) the game awaits with a niveau of a 6 year old child. It's subdivided into two parts, the first consists of painting some walls which is quite funny but the second part, stone age bowling, is as boring as the game gets after a short while. 43 pts
• CAPONE / ACTIONWARE: After two minutes loading, cuz of a bad crack dun by BST, the game involves you shooting, shooting and shooting up some gangsters looking at you from houses but one has to be very careful with peaceful guys appearing, otherwise one life is lost. The screen scrolls steadily slow to the right, the graphics are quite nice, but not really exciting. 49 pts
• WIZBALL / OCEAN: And again a 64 conversion, probably one of the best games ever on 64 has been converted very well. The game offers great graphics, nice sounds (as usual from OCEAN) and then the same movements from the old 64 version. Another good game from the C64 has been converted very well, so that Amiga owners can expect a lot from Ocean as regards their further Amiga conversions like Green Beret, Platoon and Combat School. 92 pts
• POWER STYX: This time the idea was taken up from the old arcade game QIX, but it has been "updated" on the Amiga with nice music jingles, brilliant graphics and after all the years of QIX it still has a very high motivation! 89 pts
• OBLITERATOR / PSYGNOSIS: Psygnosis definately reached the standard of Cinemaware but one regarding the game presentation as one can see in this superb intro showing optimal animation. The game is rather a boring shoot'em-up with also brilliant graphics and animations. The game seems to be more complex, 'cuz it also has a savegame function as it will take more than some minutes to kill all aliens around there. 91 pts
• SARCOPHASER / RAINBOW ARTS: Another shoot'em-up like old arcade Nemesis. The sounds represents normal Amiga quality, the graphics are nicely drawn and the scrolling in the higher levels is very fast. Just another good shoot'em-up, but no new idea that I always miss. 90 pts

CHARTS - MAY 1988

C64 GAMES		C64 CRACKERS
1. IMPOSSIBLE MISSION II (-) 2. THE GAMES: WINTER EDIT. (1) 3. IKARI WARRIORS (3) 4. THE THREE STOOGES (2) 5. G.U.T.Z. (-) 6. PARANOIA COMPLEX (-) 7. 4x4 OFF ROAD RACING (-) 8. PRO BMX SIMULATOR (6) 9. IO (4) 10. PLATOON (8) 11. SAMURAI WARRIOR (-) 12. CYBERNOID (-) 13. RIMRUNNER (10) 14. POWER AT SEA (9) 15. REVENGE OF DOH (11)		1. IKARI (1) 2. FAIRLIGHT (3) 3. TRIAD (2) 4. ORION (6) 5. SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP (-) 6. TRIANGLE (-) 7. JEWELS (-) 8. PAPILLONS (7) 9. EAGLESOFT (5) 10. FUSION (4) 11. DOMINATORS (-) 12. THE WANDERER GROUP (-) 13. TRANSCOM (-) 14. SAP (-) 15. HOTLINE (-)
C64 DEMOS
1. IMPERIUM by ORION 2. DUAL CASSETTE II by ASH & DAVE 3. EASTER DISK by COMMANDOFRONTIER 4. IT'S MOVIN' by SUPER SWAP SWEDEN 5. WHY SLEEP? by XAKK 6. THE FUNERAL by TRITON TECHNOLOGIES

Chart comments: Demos: Zip this month was better with entertaining demos, especially lots of demos from the SILENTS party and Venlo, it was too hard, but...

Thanx for voting to: STRIDER / FAIRLIGHT, CF / BEASTIES, OAHAWOOL / FBR, JESTER / PE NO.1, THE THINKER / TWG U.S.A., SPC & ITB / TWG, PHOTONY / TRANSCOM, MWS / RWE, MAD ALL / CFR, DSH & MR.DECIBEL / ORION + SSD / TSK-CREW