Ahhh! I can't wait until the 16th of April for the April Venlo Party. You know who's coming? IKARI, FUSION, FAIRLIGHT, TRIAD, HOTLINE, RWE, BEASTIE BOYS, TWG, ORION, CFR and all the others that are normally there! But seems as if that would be an ultimate party and we here in Germany used a little trick to persuade even the guys that are coming from very far away (FUSION - TRIAD) to come to Venlo, but more about that in the next issue... cuz it's a secret!

This month was quite surprising with super releases from the American companies EPYX and CINEMAWARE that increase the hopes for a hot summer. Anyway, before returning to SYSTEM 4, I send, as usual, a couple of greetings to my best friends, that inlude: JESTER of FUSION (cum), JUST ICE from IKARI WARRIORS, STRIDER + GOLLAME (sorry Fred, it woz Tony's idea) of FAIRLIGHT, BADD BOY from THE SURVIVORS (old Kookmeyer!), CF from BEASTIE BOYS, DSH and MISTER DECIBEL of ONION, ha, ORION, of course, my dude SWYX from the TRIANGULAR GANG (take care), LAZER from NEW BENCORS (thanx 4 da magz), MWS of RADWAR (Mike's escapes part two?), GENE from ze STARS (best action 4 years?), SLEDGE from HOTLINE, SPC and INSIGHT ZEBOILDONG from THE WANDERER GROUP, MAD ALLIGATOR of CFR (beware of lamers' revenge...), ACU / SAP, FOTT OHNE NY, JAYS, UNKNOW and as special "Wossup?" to BERNIE in Canada, all from TRANSCOM, THE MIND SLAYER of THE AWESOME GUYZ (still imprisoned?), DOMINATORS, PAPILLIONS, JEWELS - the 3 from Denmark, ABYSS (LONGSHOT), EAGLESOFT, FBR, WEETBIX from SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP (so sorry for mentioning ya so late, Georgie!), THE MANAGEMENT (Tom, cold callz), MR.ZEROPAGE and SSD of TSK-CREW.

And now special thanx for keepin the ILLEGAL alive: ALEX of REDLINE 97 (go on!), HOBBIT of FAIRLIGHT (hope 2 meet U, Alain), NY / TRANSCOM (thanx for copying..), TENZET / TRIANGLE (thanx mate) and all other co-editors from the different countries. Super special Hellos to all members of TRIAD. Especially to: The zombie dat found his way outta the black forest 'n who's now standing in front of the gate of the huge castle showing his authorization for entering (You know who I mean?), the guy who's not only counting the rankings together, but takes care of everything (clear eh?), the guy who celebrated his 18th birthday not at home, but I guess eventhough it was wet, wasn't it (something like MISS PINGY?), the master of the colours who said: "Hooray" after being back from boring Spain (pay or flee?), the blond young guy, prefering this Swine football team (Dingens...) and last F.A.M.E. (THE TAPE!). See you at Venlo! Yours, JEFFIE!

NEWS FROM THE CRACKERS' WORLD: SYSTEM 4

I just changed the title above, it is still the same column, but with other clothez, you see?? It seems as if March woz no quiet month! Why? Because...

• One of England's best crackers returned to System 4 and showed again their skill with some cool cracks. I'm talking of SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP, that are WEETBIX, CHUNK, DR.J and MOG. Other English groups got mighty rivals!
• FIRKIN, SMASH and GENE left ACTUAL CRACKING ENTERTAINMENT, (in difference from THE SILENTS who joined ACE, left it, joined and finally left it), they built up their own group, named STARS.
• As DSH and MR.DECIBEL told us they kicked DIGITAL SOLUTIONS INC, EURATOM and SOFTWAR TECHNICS out of ORION to hold the group as small as possible. Nevertheless there are only a few German members of ORION left and that are ZENOBITS, who used to be in 7'UP.
• STEVE of ZENITH is probably the most hated dude in England! IAN of FUSION and IRONFIST co-wrote a game called "Hard Labour" and told STEVE that some dudes wrote it and it was a mega cool game. Hard Labour was in fact a very big joke on STEVE coz it's just a demo that slags STEVE off.
• IKARI expanded. TRIDOS, kicked out of FUSION coz of recrackin', joined also as IRONFIST of ZENITH wanted to do but haven't done yet.
• Do you also agree that Activision are stupid for trying to do Afterburner on 64? What is more stupid is they will also try to do it on Spectrum and Amstrad.
• JESTER of LAZER CRACKING SERVICE left LCS and joined IKARI. But they are exclusively trading with THE SURVIVORS in the USA and JESTER also trades with ATC, so he left and joined nobody less than FUSION, where he and MARK are the only active guys left on 64, coz IAN changed his SYSTEM... Even MITCH from EAGLESOFT INC said in his intro (Impossible Mission II): -"Hey Ian turn that AMIGA off... now!". Nothing to add.
• About IMPOSSIBLE MISSION 2: Everybody was upset coz quite unknown FREESTYLE released it on the last Venlo meeting, but everybody must have noticed that it is only a preview, that took its mysterious way from the German magazine "Powerplay" to them. Everybody really thought it was the game, but their version crashes down after some levels, even though they wrote in their intro "this is the long awaited game". SHARKS released exactly the same version 2 weeks later. Good job, eh? The REAL Impossible Mission II just made its way from the USA to Europe and guess what? It is the same loader as in Winter Edition, so I sent the not working one (imported by DSH / ORION) to the huge creature of magical forces, better said: JANITOR from TRIAD, so you have to expect a running version in a couple of seconds.
• Wasn't that the most frustrating incident for Europeans since years? The Games - Winter Edition didn't work on European computers, everybody thought that one has to wait some months until Epyx releases the special European versions. But they forgot two dudes that fixed it, the first MR.ZEROPAGE / TLC who fixed it with a self-written load routine and the other one the living dead JANITOR who fixed the Epyx fast loader. Thanx to them for the working version, think of all that lamers that have to wait for the release. So if you see any review in any magazines you can be sure right now that those swines also have our versions. HA! Another victory for SYSTEM 4!
• From RUBBERDUCK into RUB and then INSIDE THE BUILDING... NO! This is not a new group... no! It's a single person! RUB from THE WANDERER GROUP? He is the one that changed his name into "INSIDE THE BUILDING"... No April joke!
• Another bad news for 64 owners, one day after one heard of IAN / FS quitting 64 at the top of the success, STRIDER of FAIRLIGHT also said goodbye to the small calculator to work on the grown up Amiga, but for how long? So only GOLLUM is left on the 64 for FAIRLIGHT.
• FAIRLIGHT just wanted to merge with some FUSION members, but those changed their minds as STRIDER told me.
• TRIANGLE 3532 are also back on the cracking market after a few weeks peace of what else? Police. But read SWYX's article...
• As MAD ALL / CFR told me secretly on a conference, CFR took in 4 members... Guess from which country? I bet you guessed wrong! They're from Austria and so unknown that he forgot their names (on purpose?), but it seems as if they are highly talented...
• Latest news from the SHARKS are that TPI (not PAPILLONS but THE PIRATES INT.) left 'em and wants to join TRIAD. We (me and Dan) haven't stopped thinking 'bout dat.
• Not 100 percent sure I can tell that IAN & MIC left TRIAD together with the GRONK, cuz making a legal group producing only Compunet demos. Word spread that both IAN and MIC went crazy as they got their money for their game: Scout. It seems as if England has been left from TRIAD members.
• F.A.M.E., who used to be in TRIAD, also LEGAL (as they call it!), improved their very good sound routine as you can hear in the new "Digital News". They also got offers from Firebird, Elite and Cascade... And read and believe they probably will do the sound for Afterburner from Activision.
• Did you think that FLASHPOINT and VICTORY ROAD, both from Ocean, will soon be released on 64? HA! As Ocean's software manager said it was never planned to release these games on home computers... The company who made the ads (Centersoft) only thought that... funny, eh?

MAD ALL'S MAILBOX

Excelsior, the lean mean gossip machine is back, so turn on the music, grab a bottle of beer, sit back and enjoy...

• Remember JAZOO of old JAZZCAT fame? Well he's back! This time he joined the ranks of that other Norweigan group: THE SHADOWS, they are all delighted, coz he promised the originals, TDF in trouble?
• I was planning to write a big article on this but I'm too modest (or lazy?) so I'll just print it here: CFR has split up. Yes yes yes it's true but before you get out a box of kleenex let me assure you that we'll still continue under the same name, the people that are gone only worked on Amiga. Well not really coz they only wrote one demo in 6 months and they wanted CFR to become an Amiga group only, so naturally we split up, but this will have no effect on our 64 work.
• Oooh, aren't those BEASTIE BOYS getting a little big-headed? In their interview in DELIRIOUS mag, ACCEPT claims that all groups are lame except the 9 groups they trade with. Not a bad statement for a group that brought out a 1328 Block long Out Run version.
• As you probably know, C64CG, DCU and PLEASURE are merging together to become bigger but did you know the name? Well they are planning to announce it at the Venlo meeting of 16/04/88 but I couldn't resist so here goes: they will be called TRANSCOM.
• Interesting to see at the last Venlo meeting that TSS and LETHAL of HOTLINE had a very big discussion with HI-TEC and TK of TRIAD concerning who was the better group. Luckily they didn't have a quarrel over who was the biggest group, otherwise they would still be there counting all their members coz both of them have well over 25 members.
• On HOTLINE: I almost got lynched by some HOTLINE members coz they claimed that we in ILLEGAL only ever talk about SLEDGEHAMMER. So I asked LETHAL (in fact it was LETHAL's idea) to write a very big and complete article about the Amiga virus. He will do all the research as he has access to ZILLIONS of computer magazines and I will write the article, so look out for that!
• Poor old Denmark and Germany. The groups seem to be falling like flies over there lately. The police is really beginning to hold razzia's and PLK's and P.O. Boxes get searched through. A real unhealthy situation, hopefully this is no sign for other countries.
• I bet you a lot of hard cash that STRIDER of FAIRLIGHT won't stay away for long now that he stopped cracking on the 64, just wait until he meets everybody at the April edition of Venlo, he'll see that the 64 is much more lively than the Amiga. C U there Tony.
• Two Belgian groups CHINA SYNDROME (CSI) and 4-STAR have joined together to produce higher quality cracks.

SCG - THE LEGEND RETURNS!

The awesome people from the gaff of Liverpool, England are back! (The SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP, that is! - What do you mean you've never heard of us?!).

So here we are, after a short (-ish) but much needed, much enjoyed, quite-nice-really break. We have regrouped and returned, and are going to totally and utterly quash the ideals and concepts of the current hacking kingdom... But, being such modest, selfless people we will move the trend of the conversation into other areas of interesting-information-to-know. This includes:

1. Our views on the now-barren cracking world
2. The Scouse House future plans
3. General waffle and moaning
4. There is, in fact, no number 1
5. Ah! Here it is

Who can't all the smaller groups make like a wolf and pack together or else make like a kangaroo and take a running jump. What has happened to quality (look it up in a dictionary!)? For some reason groups seem to be forsaking this ideal for quantity... lemons (people not in this group) want trainers, documents and good intros...

Are most intro-writers communists? Because nowadays all intros look the same to us (maybe it's just us!). We haven't been on a good confy for donkeys years, what happened to the good old days of 20 or more interesting people on one confy (is this some kind of subtle hint?).

What are our future plans, then? We have only one... to put quality before quantity, this meaning that our cracks will be really quite orgasmic. Talking about cracks, speed is an advantage but surely receiving a game which has more features increses its wantability.

Incidently, we at SCOUSE dislike extremely the use of the word "lamer" and prefer to the words "minor group", after all, all of us were once lamers!

To English persons we wish to let it be known that SCOUSERS never (that is, at no time) use the phrase "it's wicked".

And so ends the SCOUSE huts contribution to this magnificent magazine... (This is "Playboy" isn't it?) Perhaps there'll be more... Perhaps not!!! /The SCG members

THE POLICE IN GERMANY

Everybody who lives in System 4 is scared of the police, that at least in Germany is very strong and also caught a lot of guys. It had become such a situation that lamers pretended they were caught showing them belonging to them who are worth to be caught. Damn lame, isn't it?

The mean methods are ads in obscure computer magazines, that ask you about swapping, buying software or just a telephone number that offers you to call. Some guys from the German software police (they really exist!) made such ads to catch some guys, who are lame enough to call those guys. /JS

PHONE FREAKIN' NEWS

How what is going this month with the conferences to Germany who has still the best protected telephonesystem (FUCK)? Well, as it concerns me, I can say that I had enough conferences this month (thanx to SURVIVORS, Kevin and all others I don't remember) and some 3-ways also (with NIK the d...). Anyway I was told that unknown SHIELD had started a conference from Germany... Well, no comment! Anyway it seems that it became easier now for Americans to start conferences, but I heard bad news, eventhough they aren't proved yet, so I was told that BADD BOY from the SURVIVORS got busted and had to pay about $1,000 USD to the companies.

Hum, I hope it's not true, Johnnie! Anyway, NIK from IKARI even called me on a free call in the middle of the night (2 am!). For the Europeans it's quite safe, but all Yanks are afraid of AT&T who really are holding razzias again... Now it can also be heard that there exists a kind of trick that could remove poor guys from the black list, eh? JANITOR and Mike / F.A.M.E. still are and look forward to these news... Hear from U on a confy! /JS

REQUIEM IN PEACE - R.I.P.

Welcome to the darkest article of yer favourite magazine, this is dedicated to two people who decided to quit the computer world altogether. Maybe not for ever but certainly for a very long time. Everybody already knows about them but this way I and the rest of ILLEGAL salute them.

1. The first one is, the ever-popular JANITOR of TRIAD. Already when he was in RELAX he showed great promise, as the weeks passed he got better and it was soon obvious that was no normal cracker, he made the shortest version of games, with sometimes even adding a copy-chain to it, at the time, the only versions that were slightly better were those of TCS. His talent must have caught the eyes of TRIAD, who after the departure of MR.Z were struggling to get good versions out, cuz TRIAD incorporated RELAX and the rest is as they say HISTORY.
   MR.Z became his mentor and JANITOR began not only to make the shortest versions but he also removed all the bugs that were original in the game. Due to his talent, Out Run among other games became a little bit fun to play. Just think about it, Out Run has just reached the stage of best selling game ever on the 64 but only we, the pirates, have a full working version thanks to, yes, JANITOR.
2. The second loss for the pirate world this month was MR.VENLO himself, THE SILVER SURFER (TSS) of HOTLINE. Always a familiar face at copyparties (he was in fact the first guy I ever spoke to at Venlo) and a true HOTLINE member with heart and soul. He will always be remembered as the guy who wrote all those magnificent intros on all those HTL cracks and trainers (which he did himself).
   For over a year now he had been in HOTLINE, but before that he drifted from group to group, some of which were: ABA-SOFT, ISG, THE GOONIES, THE WAVE, TCC 1777 and HCS 5005, but of the latter he admits that it was the biggest mistake in his life. Soon after that he joined HOTLINE and stayed there until now.
   The main reason for him to drop out is that his exams (finals) are coming up real soon so he has to study very hard coz one can't expect to stay an intro-maker for the rest of his life. His last work on the Commodore 64 was of course an intro, ironically not for his group HOTLINE, but for COMMANDOFRONTIER (sounds familiar!) and for that I will be remembering him for a very long time...

They are surely not forgotten, and will never be. /MAD ALL of CFR

CHANGING GROUP AND NAME?

Hey, wake up! What makes you feeling better after having changed group and name? That seems to be popular in the last months (especially in Germany). BEASTIE BOYS, SHARKS and THE WANDERER GROUP and older examples and ONLINE, DEVILS and UPFRONT shows that there is no end of it. Of course all of you think of the success with for example FUSION or ORION had had after such an activation.

The opposite of this is proved by FAC, HOTLINE and TRIAD who are high at the rankings as in the last end three years. We also played with the idea of changing our name (TSK-CREW into MOUNTAINEERS, sounds funny, eh?) but after all we all voted to keep our present name. The case was that we thought of all the changings which also would have drawn by our friends and contacts. Guess, in half a year there have all big groups changed their names, nobody knows of the good old names. A legend will never exist anymore!

Another point of view is that lots of freaks change their groups, they leave the first group then join the second, afterwards join the third crew and after all go back to group one. Comrades, you have to understand that your crew will only succeed when keeping the same name and members.

It makes us a lot frustrated to hear every day: X and Y of A and B have founded a new group called YABX. I know there are differences between agreeing and disagreeing to this statements (also in my deeper minds) but make your own thoughts of it, says.../SSD of TSK-CREW

JEFFUS COMMENTS: No, methinks that why not changing the group when you can improve your grade of being known? Why not building up a new group when you think you better start with something totally new, maybe because of having made some mistakes cuz of some reason? Why not kicking out some members for recracking, lazyness or whatever? Methinks that this is a fine characteristic of the whole cracking scene, that we call System 4.

Won't that be too boring if there are only always the same and old groups? Of course why changing one's name when you have such a reputation that you don't want to give it up ever, that's true and only a few did that, I want to add RADWAR, EAGLESOFT INC, CFR and FAIRLIGHT who all exist for quite a lot of years now and why should they give up their name? Hope to hear other points of view, I'm waiting for yours... Yours, JEFFIE!

COPS 'N CRACKERS

Hi dudes! SWYX of TRIANGLE here! Now the headline sounds like a bad imitation of "cops n' robbers" or a movie in one of System 4's cinemas, but it definately is not! I named this article "cops 'n crackers", cuz the cops and a Danish organisation called S.U.S. seriously are hunting us crackers in Denmark now!

The whole thing started about a month ago, when a guy named GOODFATHER (by the way, he was a member of one of my former groups, DANISH CRACKING CREW) got busted. Well, the only bad thing about him getting busted was that he is a lousy coward! Wha'd'ya think the guy promised? Yeah, he promised to help the police catching all the big and known groups in Denmark! Thanks, pal!!

Unfortunately, GOODFATHER had more than 300 adresses in his archive, including mine, of course. So... I panicked! The same night, I started removing all my disks, adresses and tape copies etc, and so did all the other TRIANGLE members. In the next 14 days, 3-5 other guys got busted. The only well-known one was THE TIGER of DEXION, who is just on the Amiga!

Last week then, I returned all my equipment to its place and TRIANGLE started cracking and trading again! We thought that the danger was over, until today (5th of April), when I just heard that AZAKE of SYSTEM had been busted! SCRATCH of the Triangular gang called him, to ask if it was true or not and it sure was! Well, the guy admitted that it was right be his own fault that he got busted, cuz he sold some games to a S.U.S. guy a few days ago. That's all I know about that case here, I just wish that it'll be over soon. And now... An announcement:

ON THE FIRST OF MAY, TRIANGLE WILL BE ONE YEAR OLD!! WE WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE BIRTHDAY-CARDS / CALLS FROM EVERYBODY, EVEN THOSE OF YOU WE DON'T TRADE WITH. EVERYONE, WHO SENDS A POSTCARD OR CALL US, WILL BE SPECIAL GREETED IN THE BIRTHDAY - DEMO, BUT REMEMBER WE MUST HAVE 'EM BEFORE 1ST OF MAY (ADRESS ON LAST PAGE) !!!!

Remember to look out for the first TRIANGLE / TRIAD cooperation, which is a demo made by COZMIX and JANITOR, the living deads! Well, before leaving you, just a few greetings to: TRIAD (JS, IXION, JANITOR and HI-TEC), HEPTAGON, SCIENCE 451 (THE BRIGHT LION), I.O.F. and the NICE GUYS in TRIANGLE! See ya in issue #28! /SWYX of TRIANGLE

INTERVIEW OF THE MONTH: JEFF SMART OF TRIAD

Everybody claimed they know nothing about me, so I decided to interview myself and believe me, it brings fun...

• Where do you have that name from?
  From a German comic strip called "Clever and Smart".
• How old are you?
  18 years, authorized to do everything I wanna do.
• When did you come to TRIAD?
  On the 15th of January 1988 at 19 minutes past 8.
• How many German members did join Triad now?
  They are: HAN SOLO, HI-TEC, TK, FSW, SIR ARTHUR and F.A.M.E. (3)
• How many swap-partners do you have at the 'mo?
  FS, IKARI, FAIRLIGHT, BB, RWE, T8, HTL, ORION, STARS, CFR, TWG, SCOUSERS, TRIANGLE + DOMINATORS and sum othaz, about 20.
• When did you release the first ILLEGAL and what did it look like?
  Well, the first issue if ILLEGAL appeared on the 6th of January 1986 after two weeks wondering how "Newsroom" works. It took about one single page and had a circulation of 5 copies. GOSH! It was so bad that I won't re-release it even though people asked me to do so. But even in the first issue there was "game charts", some game reviews and some bad articles, all in German of course.
• What is your favourite music, game, demo and freetime activity?
  Music: New Order, Morrisey, The Smiths, Joy Division
  Game: Epyx games, Combat School, Platoon, Pirates and Green Beret
  Demo: Baby Blues from CFR
  Freetime: Sleeping, music + joking
• What are your best friends and your enemies?
  My best friends around are my mates from System Four, that are: PΣr, Dan, Stefan and almost all others from TRIAD, MAD ALL / CFR, IAN / FUSION, Kaare / TRIANGLE, George / SCG, John / SURVIVORS, NIK / IKARI and so on... Better said, almost all mah contacts, if they either write long letters or I talk to 'em often. Enemies: NO COMMENT - They already have been kicked outta System 4!
• What the hell is SYSTEM FOUR?
  Haven't you seen it yet? It's among you, everyday! Only I know what it is, but I guess JANITOR supposes the right thing 'n will surely know it next time.
• What was the best joke you ever heard?
  On a conference, I asked George from SCG: -"Wossup?", and he said -"My dick". Some others said it was their idea, but it was George's.
• Thank you, JEFFIE.
  And you, JEFFIE. HAHAHA!

THE MEETING REPORTS

Only the evergreen Venlo could offer a party in tha last month as the WOD party fell out cuz the guys got in deeper contact with the police...

Anyway the Venlo meeting was a little bit sad as there was simultaneously the CE-BIT, a big computer mess, Germanys small opposite to the PCW show, in Hannover where quite a lot of friends were present, so did RADWAR, some from HOTLINE, TRISTAR, MR.ZEROPAGE and so on.

Only a few of the guys that normally come to Venlo showed up on the 19th of March, so did ORION, C64CG, SLH / HOTLINE, CFR and for the first time DCU from France. I was told that nothing was up there as people really missed the big and known groups, but more people showed up than in February and that shows that Venlo is getting too overcrowded. A cold shudder seized me as I heard how many lamers asked HI-TEC of TRIAD to swap.

Anyway, the next Venlo edition seems to become the best ever, so pack yer bag and show who you are (even if you're a zombie!). /JEFF

THE REAL BASKET MASTER

A damn cool day we had, visiting DSH and MR.DECIBEL from ORION in the homeland, called Holland... HO!! We first came to DSH, who woz just importin' IMPOSSIBLE MISSION II via modem and then drove to MR.DECIBEL, who has quite a comfortable hut. He suggested playing a basketball match in his garden, between TRIAD (TK and me) and ORION, so it went on...

But MR.DECIBEL was so fair telling us that he's playing in the Dutch National team... urgh? Not a single chance remained and we sank with 2:5, (MR.DECIBEL: 4, JS: 2, DSH: 1 and TK: NONE! lame!). We spent the evening again at DSH'S home, cracking jokes on tha fone... I hope to repeat this journey soon, eh? /JS

ARCADE ACTION - ROLLING THUNDER

Have a look at our big cpmparision between ROLLING THUNDER - the ARCADE version, the C64 version and the Amiga version... Done by your JEFF SMART of course!

• ARCADE: HA! ROLLING THUNDER from NAMCO is quite a brilliant game on the arcade machine. Task of the game is to free some hostages while shooting all enemies. You can expand your weapons when entering several rooms, be always careful of swines with masks that try to blast you into pieces of mortal rest. It features brilliant grafix, a fitting sound and is damn fast. You can either use a machine gun (if you collected ammo) or a small gun, of course the m-g is more effective. The characters are superbly animated and you jump one platform up and down in great animation, too. I really love that game machine cuz it's ultrafast and brings lots of fun playing it, and it earns a rating of 96 pts.
• C64 VERSION: US GOLD tried it... and... failed... A cold shudder seizes me when I remember this real bad conversion, if the name of the game wasn't ROLLING THUNDER, I would not have noticed it, it's so bad, so fucking slow!! You move your player faster than your bullets... The graphics also suck... This game is the total rubbish and the best one can do with it, is to open one's window and throw it out... Even the sprites, the movement of 'em is so bad, I really thought that it would have been possible to convert it to the 64, cuz there are quite a lot of that kind of games, but US Gold? 0 points!
• AMIGA VERSION: I was really stretched as I took a look on the 16-bit version and GOSH! The title screen looks pretty nice (methinks there was none on the 64, was there!?), ah, it reminds me of the arcade version, really. The sound is not that one from the arcade machine, but nevertheless much, much better than the fuckin' rubbish on the 64. The game: It's a little bit slower than the arcade machine, but it's very, very good. It's almost the same fun on the Amiga as on the arcade. HA! OK, the grafix are not so hot, but good, damn good. Compare the sprites and you really can accept that. I really liked it on the Amiga, so that my friend, at which home I took a look at ROLLING THUNDER couldn't keep me away from playing it... -"Please another game, C'mon a new one! OK, now the last one, yep, no the really last try, yup, my last game" and so on... If companies always make such brilliant conversions on the Amiga, I can start about thinking to buy finally a big calculator, eh? Amiga score: 91 pts

DOES AMIGA KILL THE C64!?

-"Are you playing again with your calculator?"

Questions like that are normal life for a 64 owner when arguing with an Amiga owner! They must tell you, those who only have to enter their disks in their drives and without typing any command the game is loaded into the computer, isn't that easy? Now, the latest state is that some real known guys from the 64 biz changed from 64 to Amiga, searching for higher goals in SYSTEM FOUR! The two were on the one hand IAN from FUSION, who almost earned to be a cracker of the month alone and on the other hand STRIDER from FAIRLIGHT known for many, many cracks with funny slogans against communists, remember: "Play pool billiard with a commies' balls" or some like that? Is that a sign for all others?

Well, in fact I think no, cuz the Amiga offers better grafix, better sounds, OK, but not better games as many of the 64 games are converted now but without becoming better, you see? No reason for me to sell my little 64 for an Amiga, HA! Anyway, FUSION also continues as FAIRLIGHT does, and you see that STRIDER is beginning to write in intro text again (about System 4...) I think he will also return to the cracking ones, surely! BIG EASTER EGGS from: JEFF SMART

DELIRIOUS vs ILLEGAL

After DCU released the first issue of their new "Delirious Mag" on the Venlo meeting last month, people thought about a big battle between TRIAD and DCU concerning their magazines, but they thought totally wrong. There's no rivalry, but a good friendship between JAYCE (the editor of the DCU - now TRANSCOM magazine) and me as I promised him always to write him an article for his magazine but only because I'm a lazy pig the article didn't reach JAYCE in time for the last mag out. Now he got it and I'm sure you can read about "The German Crackers" in "Delirious Mag No.2".

What people didn't understand is that MAD ALL / CFR is publishing his "Mailbox" in both magazines and in fact I don't understand, too. But I think it's up to MAD ALL who has of course the right to publish his articles in both magazines, but still writes here in ILLEGAL more expanded articles. So don't claim... the only thing I don't like is that DCU can spread their mag for nothing and I have to take money for it, cuz I don't get copies for free as they do, but it's still OK! /JS

GERMAN RATS: THE "ASM"

Do you remember the ASM? The "Aktueller Software Markt", the official German computer magazine (comparable to C&VG in UK) that have been present at the RADWAR party on January the 9th of 1988? I told you about 'em in tha last issue, but here again... They went around trying to make photos of big and known groups and published 'em with black strokes over the guys' eyes. And they were quite proud to see their photos in the March issue of that magazine.

So what about it, you will ask? Well, it can be heard that two members of the well-known Amiga group TRISTAR were caught by the police!

You must be blind if you don't recognize a connection between the photo in the ASM that showed the whole TRISTAR crew and their cruel end. Anyway, after a couple of weeks later it really can be heard that some guys of the ASM gave all their photos out to the German software police as special evidence material. Isn't that nice?

First those swines lick everybody's ass to get an invitation for the party, then they lick everybody's ass to make some photos and even asked 'em to to send new warez to 'em... I think it hasn't been all yet. /JS

WHAT FORTHA HELL...

Who do the PAPILLONS think they are?

-"Hey Hey Hey! (trying to imitate FS?) Why do you gays in TRIAD are so fucking proud of your Winter Edition?? You know we released it 2 weeks before!"

The thing is that NOT A SINGLE TRIAD member knew about a version from TPI, and after calling some guys, who haven't had the game working, we decided to release it! ANYWAY, The Winter Edition version from THE PAPILLONS sucks! It crashes every time (where woz the Fast Load?)! What can we do if you do not spread your version, eh!?

Have a look at their version of S.S. Soccer and Impossible Mission II - they both crash down. Try to save on S.S. Soccer or to play Impossible Mission II up to it's end. So, lesbians, come and say that again!!! /JS

THE TRIAD RANKS ON 14-4 / 88!

The of-fish-ial TRIAD rankings on tha 14th of April 1988 (merged in Germany): IKARI (boo boo baa baa), FAIRLIGHT (thanx 4 ze postcard, Tony), FUSION, ORION (coolest meeting!), NETWORK, TRIANGLE (By the way, I typed 'Y'!), ACE, CFR (goodie), SCG (Wossup?), ALLIANCE, PAPILLONS (look above!), BEASTIE BOYS, ESI, NEW BENCOR BROS., ABYSS, HOTLINE (old Sledgy), TDF, CRIME (Johnnie), ZENITH, TWG, SEX (Who's dat, Dan? Sounds good!), STARS, ONLINE and TRANSCOM... Too much confusion? Too less life? Too less money? Too less brain! /JS

THE STORY OF SYSTEM 4

While you look at HER, you suddenly notice that you have to leave at the next bus stop, so you stand up and press the button that makes the bus stop. Surprise, surprise, SHE also stands up and want to leave, together with this lame friend of hers (you guessed that he wasn't a F-class guy) to your dissapointment. Anyway, you found out that SHE is goin to the same school as you do. You recognize an old friend of yours and begin to talk to him. You lost HER out of your eyes, but you couldn't keep your mind away from her. Isn't that a shame? You, as one of the few A-class guys is ruled by a girl? By a SINGLE girl?

Anyway, you are still thinking about HER as you leave school after 6 boring lessons, you walk home and do the work for your business. You turned the radio on and heard sum exciting news: -"It was heard outta System 4 that several guys were kicked outta it, cuz of vandalism and negative outward apperance!". HA, you thought, it's totally new that they keep an eye on your outward appearance. Anyway it's not bad, you guessed that you knew those lamers that had to say Goodbye. You took a look on your watch and you scared 'cause it was almost 6 o'clock and the meeting of the 5 biggest classes, that are "A" up to "E", should begin at 6 o'clock. You took your clothes and left to the meeting place.

You meet all your friends from your group that is the most established in the "4". Sumtimes when you lay back you can't believe that you entered this group, it's incredible when you see those other 50.000 groups that do exist after all. You drank sum beers with your friends, of course the A-class guys have a separate room from the others. Everybody's watching out for them, but they couldn't notice the few that have all rights. You heard that some changes are about to come, because sum went over to System 16 and now there are only THREE groups ruling. And at the same time you catched the word that another group is about to be kicked down from "A" to "B". Stunning, stunning, what can happen? Anyway, another great thing is that the leader of the group also changed to System 16, but sum members of 'em still remained in System 4, it seems that only the biggest can survive.

You talk with your friends about taking in sum new members, news and anything else as sum decided to take a secret visit to "Snatchos", the girl's town. You, though you were scared, cuz you've never been there before, agree to go with them. You take a back seat in the fluffy car with your 4 friends and after you entered the nearest bar in Snatchos you relax a little bit with your 3rd bottle beer in your hand. You feel the heat growing up, you sing to the music, sit down with your friends in a corner and talked... as the door swinged open... and SHE entered alone! You almost forgot her. To be continued... /JS

THE ADVENTURES OF BUGGY DISKHEAD

note: this is originally a comic strip

• Buggy holds a phone handset, makes "thumbs up" and exclaims: -"NOW, NEW SOFT FROM USA VIA TELEPHONE!"
• Buggy smashes the handset into an acoustic couple (ie a modem) connects to a US board whilst the keyboard makes a hacking noise and the modem beeps in the background.
• Buggy meets his friends...
  Buggy: -"10 MARKS PER DISK, OK?"
  Buggy's friends: -"TOO MUCH!"
• Buggy looks depressed.
  Friend: -"Why so MUCH?"
• Buggy holds up his phone bill.
  Buggy: -"IN ORDER TO PAY MY PHONE BILL!"

CLASSIFIEDS

Female crackers trained for free! Contact JANITOR.	Software at cheap prices... Call +64 XX XXX XXXXXX & ask for Bernhard...
28th May, 1988: THE SUPERVISORS copyparty in Switzerland. For invitations write to: MR.BRUNPAC / TSK, P.O. Box XX, CD-XXXX Cheabre, Switzerland	F.A.M.E. is always ready to undertake all aural for your gamez... Contact: Adam Bulka, XXXXXXXXXXXX XX, XXXX Essen 16, West Germany
WANTED: MEMBERS! Info: TED-CREW, PLK XXXXXX X, XXXX Dinschacken, Germany	HI-TEC is always ready to make colors for your demo... Write to JEFF!
NIK from IKARI is searchin' for a UK disk drive 1541. Give him a call if U have one to sell cheap. Tel. +44 XXXX XXXXX	I'm searching for broken comp. PRO 5000. Write to: PLK XXXXXX X, XXXX Muellheim, West Germany
I'm searching for a used driving license... Write to: PLK XXXXXX X, XXXX Bottrop, Germany	FUSION AID AT ONCE... Collect used stamps before throwin' 'em away! Send them to us!
Amiga sub-editors WANTED! Contact ILLEGAL!	Call IKARI's voice mailbox in tha USA at 818-377-XXXX!
HAVE YOU TRIED THE TRIAD VOICE MAILBOX? GIVE IT A TRY, CALL 305-529-XXXX NOW!!!!!!!

MUSIC MAESTROS: MANIACS OF NOISE

To every active owner of a C64 the MANIACS OF NOISE are no strangers. For some time they have brightened up the scene in the demoworld and on Compunet with their magnificent music in always excellent and original demos.

The ever increasing quality of their brainchildren have led to some lucrative deals with some big names in the software market. At Venlo I was lucky enough to bump into CHARLES DEENEN, the guy who wrote the music routine on which all the MANIACS' music is written by Marcel "MAD"' Donne and Jeroen "JT" Tel. After much debating he gave me an exclusive for ILLEGAL. I obtained the previews of some music they wrote for forthcoming games and I can tell you that they are breathtaking but unfortunately I can't give 'em out otherwise the people might get into trouble, but to be complete here is a list of the music they finished or are finishing soon:

• For HEWSON: Battle Valley, Cybernoid, Top Trucker + Chromethunder by JT and Scorpion by MAD
• For MARTECH: Vixen by JT
• For THALAMUS: Hawkeye by JT
• For MASTERTRONIC: Scout and Gaplus by JT
• For PLAYERS: Starballs by JT
• For STARLIGHT: Alloyrun by JT

If you're writing a game and you need high quality professional music and fx let us do it and your game will be a success, write for orders to: Charles Deenen, XXXXXXXXXXX XX X, XXXX AA Holtheed, Holland

By MAD ALL of COMMANDOFRONTIER

WANTED!

WANTED! Known and famous Amiga groups who would like to write every month a full page of game reviews, news from the 16-bit scene and what's going on around the Amiga. So if ya like to be the ILLEGAL Amiga-writer, give us a try of your abilities and send yer short reviews to the address on the last page. So don't waste yer time if you miss real Amiga news! /JS

VIDEO REVIEWS

Who said that cracking and watching video movies does not belong together? Anyway, we didn't. From now on every month LAZER from NEW BENCOR BROS will inform you about the latest pirate video released in System 4!

• NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET III - DREAM WARRIORS : Yep, your old friend (or is it fiend?!) is back again! In Nightmare III we have half a dozen fear-filled teenagers locked in a top security mental hospital, being diagnosed as suicidal. Heather Langenkamp returns as the now grown up Nancy, who organizes the kids into Dream Warriors to do battle with Freddy on his tort. This is much better than the first two, with some cool FX like the man-eating TV-set! And also... Nightmare on Elm Street IV is being filmed NOW! Rating: 73%
• PREDATOR: Arnold Schwarzenegger returns as major Alan Schaefer, leader of a special unit sent deep into South America to rescue kidnapped diplomats. Arnold is on top form as he takes on the guerillas and wiped them all out. But on the way home an invisible alien takes out every member of his team until only he and a captured girl remain... Well, you must be lame if you don't know the rest of the story! All I can say about this is "BRILLIANT"! Rating: 92%
• FULL METAL JACKET: Yes! Yet another fucking Vietnam movie! The story follows a bunch of raw recruits through their training and into 'Nam, watched closely by the Marine Sargeant! Now what was the tune again? Oh yes: -"If I die on the Russian front, bury me with Russian cunt!" Rating: 85%

VIDEO STARS - APRIL 1988

1. PREDATOR
2. RUNNING MAN
3. ROBOCOP
4. FULL METAL JACKET
5. NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET III
6. BEVERLY HILLS COP II
7. FATAL ATTRACTION
8. TOUR OF DUTY
9. MASTERS OF UNIVERSE
10. THE FLY

C64 GAME REVIEWS

HA! Now ya entered the 64 games review page, congratulations! "Please enter your name:" OK, serious again, here goes:

• BLOOD VALLEY, a long time ago announced now released... and it's a simple run-and-fight game with quite nice grafix and a cool sound fx, but rather boooring than entertaining. 72 pts
• IO, one of the shortest names for games ever. It cums from FIREBIRD and even though it's another (the 2,983,457th of this sort of game) shoot'em-up, it's cool. You can get better weapons, but the masterpiece are the grafix that were drawn by Bob Stevensen (remember BMX Kidz title screen?). The game is fuckin' swine to play, so damn difficult, that probably no normal freak is able to get through that game without a trainer, anyway it scored 84 pts.
• VENOM STRIKES BACK - MASK III. The third part of the hopefully soon ending Mask game series, but it's much better than the preceding ones, another shoot'em-up, but it brings fun anyway. Use digits for changing your player character. 72 pts
• SUPER HANG-ON, God, another arcade machine converted by ACTIVISION. The name is counting, not the game, so it'll probably be a success like OUTRUN, but there are no differences to other games like that as Enduro Racer or Buggy Boy (the best of that kind), nice sounds, nevertheless a bad conversion, scoring 39 pts.
• IKARI WARRIORS, as everybody thought ELITE released the European version and it's a damn good game with no connection to the USA version, luckily. With a fine intro the game features the blastin' of thousands of enemies and many more... Try to get through the whole game, nice sprites as an ending sequence, damn good shoot'em-up. 88 pts
• CORPORATION, another stunning new game concept from ACTIVISION it takes place in the year 3026 and you must succeed in your mission in order not to loose your job, cool grafix, a cooler title tune, and a very cool game, so 92 pts.
• SINBAD and the throne of the falcon from CINEMAWARE looks different from the Amiga version with more play sequences and less tactical moves, nevertheless the grafix are fantastic (the normal standard for Cinemaware) but the game gets boring, cuz it's damn hard to play, compare the title sound from the 64 to the Amiga tune, funny, funny, eh? But still a very, very good conversion from 16-bit to 8-bit. One can only hope for more games from the best graphicians, 92 pts
• TARGET RENEGADE, the follow up to Renegade, this time featurin' a pure joystick control and GOSH! The game is hot! OCEAN improved it with better grafix and more levels, so it had become a multi-load game. Watch out for the ending sequence, fantastic great job! 92 pts
• TROLL, from DENTON DESIGNS shows a great title piccy and cute game grafix, but what for the hell is the aim of that game? Funny anyway so a score of 86 pts.
• PACLAND, a well done conversion from the arcade machine featurin' everything that one is used to play with, when you have to help old Pacman, F1 to enter credits, F3 one and F5 two players and 88 pts.
• RIMRUNNER, what a cool grafix at the beginning of the game in which you have to ride on your, eh? On your, hum? Anyway, you ride and have to be careful of defective generators and it's your task to repair 'em. A great sound let this game get 90 pts.
• SCOUT, written by IAN & MIC who used to be members of TRIAD, sold to MASTERTRONIC featurin' sounds from JT. Really not a bad game, driving and jumping, shootin' up, but slowly it gets boring, nevertheless 82 pts.
• THE THREE STOOGES, anutha masterpiece from CINEMAWARE with a brilliant conversion of a movie into a computer game, the graphics is of course also fab as the game is. 94 pts.
• THE GAMES: WINTER EDITION, still remember the frustration when you told your friends in the USA to send it as fast as possible and then it didn't work? Well, fortunately we had two salvators, JANITOR and MR.ZEROPAGE. Anyway, the game isn't as good as California Games, maybe cuz of EPYX lost Mikael Kosaka to Electronic Arts, who made all the fine grafix previously. The events are:
  • LUGE: Nice grafix, use joystick down at the beginning, and then sometimes down + button to get speed, quite nice but not exciting.
  • CROSS COUNTRY: Remember speed skating in old Winter Games? Same movements here. Grafix not bad, nice scrolling, split screen.
  • FIGURE SKATING: Lots of details, first choose yer music, make the choice of the jumps you want to make during the music then try to play, quite difficult, eh?
  • SKI JUMP: Nice features, but when you fly through the air you can't recognize how far you flew, that's quite bad, but it brings fun, cuz it's also difficult to make good jumps.
  • SPEED SKATING: Moving the joystick with the player.
  • SLALOM: Left, right, left, right, you only have to concentrate a bit to be successful.
  • DOWNHILL: More Slalom than Downhill, but probably the best event.

  All together very good, but it's not California Games, so: 95 pts.

AMIGA GAME REVIEWS

As many of the 64 freaks also own an Amiga, and many of Amiga owners also searched for Amiga games reviews in the ILLEGAL, here are some short reviews of some Amiga stuff that has been released this month.

• SECONDS OUT: Looks nice at the beginning but after some hours of playing it's getting boring. 6 pts
• JUMPJET: Jumpjet, the simulator, is about the same as on the 64 compared with the possibilities of both machines. The handling is a bit difficult, on the other hand it serves you some rather good features. It isn't that worse game on the 64, but there is still much left for being a top-hit. 71 pts
• BLASTABALL: MASTERTRONIC produced better games on the Amiga (look at Kikstart II) but also this one is a bit better as Mastertronic's first products. The future sport featured in this game loses a bit of it's fun after more times playing. 29 pts
• BMX SIMULATOR: A long time for waiting passed by until the first Amiga game from CODE MASTERS is released, but it could have been a better conversion of this 64 game as there are no big differences. Nevertheless the game is not that bad and it earns 72 pts.
• SIDEWINDER: Another MASTERTRONIC program, at first I got a bit shocked coz of the flickering screen, but it seems to be one of the best shoot'em-ups on the Amiga. 90 pts
• BUBBLE BOBBLE: The Amiga scene gets attacked with so many 64 games, some of 'em are not much different from the old 64 version, one of 'em is Bubble Bobble which you can also load on a 64 with the same effects. 42 pts
• STRIKE FORCE HARRIER: Quite a good conversion of the ST game, even though it's quite difficult to control. 82 pts
• PINK PANTHER: It's rather hard to find the aim of that well looking game, nice grafix and sounds make it get 87 pts.
• BONE CRUNCHER: Again a 64 conversion with great graphics, but one knows the game already from the 64. 83 pts

CHARTS - MARCH 1988

C64 GAMES		C64 CRACKERS
1. THE GAMES: WINTER EDIT. (-) 2. THE THREE STOOGES (-) 3. IKARI WARRIORS (-) 4. IO (-) 5. SINBAD (-) 6. PRO BMX SIMULATOR (1) 7. CORPORATION (-) 8. PLATOON (2) 9. POWER AT SEA (7) 10. RIMRUNNER (-)		1. IKARI (5) 2. TRIAD (3) 3. FAIRLIGHT (2) 4. FUSION (1) 5. EAGLESOFT (8) 6. ORION (10) 7. PAPILLONS (9) 8. ACE (-) 9. HOTLINE (7) 10. BEASTIE BOYS (-)
C64 DEMOS
1. TIGER HELL by TRIAD 2. COZMIX BEZT II by TRIANGLE 3. MUSIC MACHINE by E.O.C. 4. ARTISTIC 5/6 by MADSQUAD 5. METAL COMBAT by M.C.C. 6. MAGIC DRUMS by SOEDESOFT

Chart comments: Crackers: Who got originals coming up? Who did super quality cracks in March? Was it again FUSION? FAIRLIGHT for the first time? Or who or what? Status: "Who said 'freezing'?" Demos: Well, a TRIAD demo on number one, and everybody's screaming that it was clear since I'm in TRIAD, but be honest: Which one woz better?

Thanx for voting to: NIK / IKARI, JESTER / FUSION, BADD BOY / SURVIVORS, MWS / RWE, CF / BEASTIE BOYS, GENE / STARS, DSH & MR.DECIBEL / ORION, LONGSHOT / ABYSS, MAD ALL / CFR, PHOTONY / TRANSCOM + SSD / TSK-CREW