ILLEGAL Issue #26
Released on March 7th 1988 - Circulation: 400 Home | Fanzines | Previous Issue | Next Issue | ![]() |
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WOSSUP!?
I hear the Easter holidays are cumming and I also hear Winter Games II arriving - it takes about 4 disk sides, and the grafix are fantastic. Well, only a few good games arrived in the last month, but we all hope for an inproving of these times. Well, I hope the copyparties will become less, but better. Everybody is making a copyparty. We are having one, too, but more about that in the next issue. Well, you see, I managed it to put more and more English into your ILLEGAL, even though I know my English is not perfect, but there are others that are worse than me, you know. Anyway, I hope you like this issue and if you have any comments please let us know (address on the last page). Anyway, my personal greetings are going to: IAN of FUSION (thanx for all the mega fast sendinx, I hope you could use the stamps I sent 2 U), STRIDER of FAIRLIGHT (I hope 2 C U next month in Venlo, Tony, then we'll kill some commies, eh?), NIK / JUST ICE of IKARI (think all probs are removed now, we'll see in Venlo), SLEDGIE of HOTLINE (how is it going, my buddyguard?), RUB / SPC from THE WONDERERS (care about yer telephone bill, Markus), CF / ACCEPT of BEASTIE BOYS (servus Rob), the VIKING from DOMINATORS (yo! Morten), AQ from SEPP, SEPP sei kein DEPP, die Zukunft ist der Alpen, SAP, PLEASURE (you know SNOW-NY?), MWS from RADWAR SURPRISES / TLC (you took the name now, Markus?), MAD ALL from COMMANDOFRONTIER (return to Venlo, Allan!), JAYCE from DCU (try 2 take the train), TMS from THE AWESOME GUYS (R U asleep, Dave?), Dave from RAD, John from THE SURVIVORS... ... Jerry from THE INNER CIRCLE (don't put in such a fuckin' line again), SWYX of TRIANGLE 3532 (again mentioning you so late, kaare, fuck the cops in their asses), TENZET of TRIANGLE for the banner, STRIDER of FAIRLIGHT again for sending me the small piccies and ALAIN of FAIRLIGHT for drawing 'em (hope we meet in Venlo, dude), G*P, TSK, ORION (MR.DECIBEL + DSH), ESG (!) and all the others I forgot to greet here. Special super gum gums to: IXION (Hip, Hop, A Gorbatschow), MR.PINGE (bad luck with the persons in the lame bus, eh?), JANITOR (write an episode for DALLAS as you wrote the soap opera in TIGER HELL - that'll be a success), IAN & MIC (cumming over), T.K. (ach, Dingens...) and old nervous, color choosing HI-TEC (decorate your walls with Roche') all from never-dying TRIAD. Yours faithfully, JEFF SMART. THE NEXT COPYPARTIES "Too many copyparties error"!? The months of March and April '88 look to be real busy!
NEWS FROM THE INNER SECTION! Yep, here I am back again with some curious notes from all yer friends and enemies! So, c'mon! We start...
TRIAD'S FUTURE!? OK, JANITOR quitted for a while and of course we have to respect his decision, eventhough we are all feeling very sad, but that won't mean that TRIAD's gonna die. TRIAD will never die! And wot about the new cracks? They weren't bad, were they? LUCIFER is the new man at the laser guns, rather an old one than a new, eh? You see, no problems that could not be mastered, eventhough JANITOR's flying off pains like hell, but he will be back in some lightyears, when the real stuff returns... WE HOPE! Good bye and don't die! MAD ALL'S MAILBOX Excelsior, the dirty mouth is back again with your monthly dose of slimy details about the private lives of your favourite pirates.
INTERVIEW OF THE MONTH: IAN OF FUSION HEY... HEY... HEY... No doubt, FUSION is the definitive NUMBER ONE on the cracking market right now. Stunning what I get to know about FUSION... MAN AND MACHINE in the following interview, made on an overcrowded conference:
SUCKY SHIELD PARTY I wanted to go there, but luckily I had no time. I talk about the SHIELD party on the 25th of February 1988 at Bielefeld / Germany. I got three invitations at the same day, stunning. Well, I talked to MOC / 7'UP, who told me that there were only losers except ALPHAFLIGHT, SHIELD and 7'UP. Only some lamers from my town who tried to get new contacts with making others down, e.g:
-"In which group are you?" But they had to FUCK OFF! Anyway, I heard it was nothing special. /JS THE VENLO MEETING The Venlo meeting on the 20th of Feb. 1988: Toooooo many lamers, maybe about 400 guys filled this time the school where the Venlo meeting takes its place every month. I met my old friends: HOTLINE and TWG and others like: ORION, ACE, TRISTAR, C64CG, SRG, MADSQUAD, SHARKS, SAP, RADWAR (of course), PLEASURE, CFR (without MAD ALL - hope you're feeling better now, Allan), FAC, SCOOP and so many more... I got the new DIGITAL NEWS, which is not copyable, but very, very good at this time with a preview of Vampire's Empire, even though the games sucks like hell, but who cares? People remembered me knocking DSI out in December, but our problems are removed right as now. RON / HTL and me were studying the new ASM, an official German computer magazine, which wrote an article about the RADWAR party. Fuckin' bad article, man. And then we read the ads, where lamers wrote: -"Hey, Hotline, contact us!". Anyway, I had to sign some sportbags with my autograph as they heard I was in TRIAD. I was wondering that now everybody heard of the Venlo meeting and it's becoming more and more overcrowded, it's no longer the good old Venlo meeting, but it's still the best party around. SHARKS and TWG almost got in a war, because of MR.CURSOR making intros for SHARKS and TWG together. RUB / TWG laughed loud when a small kid with a FCS-button on his jacket came and asked us: -"Wanna swop?". The five hours of Venlo are going too fast to its end. We talked outside with TMC / SCOOP and ZEROCAT / ACE and SLEDGEHAMMER / HOTLINE a little bit, met old star FLASH (remember FLASH CRACKING GROUP!) and had to say goodbye without any special event. Hum, April will be the best meeting if you take the names of the guys that'll come, e.g. IKARI, IAN & MIC / TRIAD, FAIRLIGHT (Tony - I'll show you some commies...) and many more! Unfortunately too many guys know about Venlo and coming to get their stuff on the same day as the big ones (I hope you don't mind that I count myself to the big ones, too), but there's no better one! /JEFF SMART THE EUROPEAN CRACKER SCENE MAP - ANNO 1988 YO! Are you always wondering where all these big pirates live? We hope we can help you with... "The European Crackers Map!". Yours, JEFF SMART!
THE STATE OF BEING A CRACKER People think you are a murderer, robber or another criminal element, but what are you really? You copy games for all those poor guys who just can't afford to buy fuckin' expensive original games, eh? And you crack to copy the games. That's all, but after years of cracking, the police rises up and its power and catches some well-known guys. You are afraid, but you don't have to be. A good trick is to remove all disks, but always put them in a possible range, because you know that after 5.00 pm the cops' work is ended and after that you don't have to be afraid of them anymore, 'cause I don't know a single case in which the cops came after 5.00 pm. Anyway, the main reason they can sentence you for is to sell cracked games, so better be a good buddy, man. You don't have to be afraid on the weekend, either... After all, which policeman will work in the weekend!? But you are an asslicking pig if you give out all your adresses of good friends in case of being caught, to get away without being punished but they don't care, they punish you if you give adresses out or not, so burn down your notebook and stay cool! No problemo... /JEFF SMART CONFERENCES FROM EUROPE!? Hey, what was that? In the middle of the night, in a cold winter night, my phone rang. I was a little bit angry, which suckin' lamer is calling me in the night at 2 o'clock??? I took up the phone and said:
We cracked jokes about communists and talked up to 5 o'clock in the morning. It was fucking great and STRIDER promised to repeat it. After sleeping one hour, I still couldn't believe it. I hope for more. /JEFF SMART COLLECT USED STAMPS Hey, you surely read the interview with IAN of FUSION and you surely read about the misfortune of his son and YOU SURELY WANT TO HELP. Nothing is easier, IAN sells lots of USED stamps to the charity and spends the money for research purposes against the brain sickness. SO, please, before you start throwing away all your used stamps in the dustbin, keep 'em and send 'em either to me (JEFF) or directly to: IAN / FUSION, X XXXXXXXXX XXX, XXXXX XXXX, XXXX, Cleveland, XXX XXX, England. C64 VS AMIGA!? WHAT TO DO!? YO DUDES! Sorry for not writing an article in the last issue, but you didn't notice I presume? Well I'm gonna write about something else than the Danish Cracker scene, but the computer which all of us love very much, namely the COMMODORE 64! Since the AMIGA was published, a lot of groups moved to the 16-bit'er and left the good old 8-bit'er! I think it's alright that you guys buy an Amiga, but why in the hell leave the 64 alone? I have had my 64 for more than 4 years now and of course I'd like to have 4096 colours, 4 stereo voices and 512K, but what is the fun in making demos on such a computer? Everybody can do something which looks incredible! On the 64 you have to be cool to do great demos and to crack the hard games! In a period, I thought about buying an Amiga, but I dropped that idea, coz I knew, that the only way I would use it would have been playing stupid games and honestly I hate playing games! My career as a gamefreak stopped two years ago, but I still enjoy cracking, training and testing the games! Those of you, who thought about buying an Amiga and selling the 64, reconsider! STAY ON C64! If everybody leaves the 64, the software houses will stop producing games and then we've got nothing left to crack... And if there are no games, nobody will trade and if we don't trade, then why make demos? I think that all of you see your C64 as a very good friend, right? WOULD YOU SELL A GOOD FRIEND? Nope! Therefore, stay on 64! You're very welcome to write to me to argue for or against leaving the 64. Send mail to the ILLEGAL address. Before ending this I'll greet a few people: TRIAD (IXION, JEFF SMART, HI-TEC, 3D), BFD-CREW (THE BRIGHT LION), HEPTAGON (GALACTICUS), TRIUMPH (ICON), and the rest of TRIANGLE! /SWYX of TRIANGLE! THE UNDERGROUND IS CELEBRATING... OR WHAT? Maybe you know that German official computer magazine "Aktueller Software Markt" (short: ASM) (translation: "up-to-date software market"). Maybe you know RADWAR, that official German computer group and their party in January '88!? A writer from ASM visited the RADWAR party and now wrote about it in their magazine. You should have seen her; she was fat, thick glasses on her nose and she was asking everybody questions. And then the article... "Famous groups showed up like 'POWERRUN' (who's that?), 'TIGER CRACKING ASSOCIATION' and many more..." And she interviewed them and made photos with a black line over the guys' eyes (like criminal elements). Bad deal, eh? It's something like as if Computer & Video Games makes an article about the English cracking scene and then writes: "Big groups like 'FOOTBALL HOOLIGANS' or 'UNEMPLOYMENT CRACKING SERVICE' were there..." You see, they had no chance to reach the big guys, 'coz who wants to give an interview in such a fuckin' mag, eh? Normally this magazine writes about crackers as criminals or as asocial elements and now, on a crackers' party, they are kind and frank to us, those who are writing this shit... So how do you react? Give 'em an interview? Lick their asses to make a photo of you? Get on your knees that they publish your sticker? NO! You did it right! /JS FOR THE LOVE OF MONEY ACTIVISION have just snapped up the right to the mega game AFTERBURNER, but before you start cheering think again, remember, Out Run? Remember the excitement you got when you first saw it in your local arcade? And then after months of false rumours you finally got it... It was crap! A cracking group even removed the bugs in order for it to run perfect (TRIAD). How many of you played Out Run after the first week or how many finished the game? Not a lot I'm sure. Well dear reader in order for US GOLD to make the conversion they had to scrap three unnamed but original games coz they needed all the cash possible to buy the license. Afterburner will be even worse, the game in the arcade features 5 MB more than Out Run and the excitement comes from the hydraulics and the mega fast grafix. Not even the Amiga is capable of handling one tenth of the speed, let alone the poor 64. Before you start telling me that the more games come out the better, let me tell you that for every major license deal TEN other high quality and original games can be made. I am interested in YOUR view, what do you think about this, am I right or am I just blowing out hot air. If you have my number then give me a call, otherwise write to me or to JEFF SMART and maybe we'll print the reactions in a debate in a future issue... /MAD ALL of CFR THE STORY OF SYSTEM FOUR It's just like a normal dream. But anyway it differs, because you wake up and it's still there. We write the year 1991 anno domini and the world is divided into hundreds of so-called "Systems", you find yourself in "System Four". They brought all software pirates here to System Four, lamer and worldruling guys from all over Europe. All pirates are sub-divided into 10 groups from "A-group" up to "J-group". Luckily you belong to one of the four gangs in the A-class, that's it. You don't have to go to school if you don't like to, you get your high amount of money every month, you have your own flat, your own car, your own computer, what do you want? Girls? You have to take a drive to "COCKIS" to meet all cute girls. Cockis belongs to System 4, but the girls are no pirates. You're 21 years old, in the right mood to start something unusual when you've woken up this morning. You think back... Starting as a small lamer in 1983, joining different gangs, working your ass down and finally joining one of the FOUR! You lay back, you smile, you have achieved what you wanted to acheive, but, really everything. This day, you feel like taking the bus to get to school. Why school at all? Maybe learning a bit, you think. You get your red rucksack, your sunglasses and set out for the bus stop. It's snowing heavily, you move through the adults' quarter. Finally the bus appeares and you enter. Hot girls are looking at you, but nobody expects you to be A-class, that's it. You have it, what others want to have. You look at all those lamers, HA! You have the power to make them being thrown off, as every A-class mate has. Yo, you change the bus to get to your old school. It's the first day in the week, named "RUNDAY". Run, by the way, you have to run to get the 2nd bus, but you could make it easily. The bus isn't too overcrowded, good luck, you found a seat. You're whistling an old tune from times: "One of these days when you sit by yourself, you realize you can't shout with someone else..." and the SHE enters. You noticed her by the first sight, she looked in your direction, OOOH, what sweet eyes she has, but, bad luck, she sits down to a friend of hers. You are staring at her, you feel a kind of warmth around your heart, you know at once, this is love. You have to know more about her! No movement, no colors, no word, just silence. To be continued... /JS ARCADE ACTION REVIEWS
THE TRIAD RANKINGS ON THA 5-3 '88 People call it: "the only rankings that are of interest", so why not print 'em here!? Here are the of-fish-ial TRIAD ratings from March the 5th: FUZION (64 4 sale?), IKARI (no connection with the game?), FAIRLIGHT (why not flying to Moscow, Tony?), NETWORK, EAGLESOFT INC (Go for it!), COLDLINE - eh - HOTLAME - eh - HOTLINE, ONION, TRIANGLE (be careful!), CFR (Maiden fans?), WOD, TWG (und noch eine Einheit), ZENITH, RWE (good luck!), NFL, SEPP (AQ), TDF (R.I.P.), TPI (not THE FISH), PLEASURE (building a bridge to the cpu), BEASTIE BOYZ, ACE (O-cat), THE SORCERER, C16CG, 1988 AD, LASER, TLG, GUTEN TAG (Dave!), BADSQUAD, JEWELS, DCU (cumming over), UPFRONT, TRIUMPH, SCOOP, FAC and TRISTAR... STATUS: Up and Downs are caused by merging the two rankinx, from IXION and from JEFF, but nevertheless. Manipulating via introtexts. Hey lamer, increase the power of yer brain or is it 2 much 4 u? /JS+IXION of TRIAD HEY ALL YANKS! Call the exciting TRIAD VMBs in USA at 305-529-XXXX or 619-496-XXXX! CHARTS - MARCH 1988
Chart comments: Crackers: Who was the most successful crackin' group in February? Again and again TRIAD? FUSION for the 1st time? Or how or wot? Status: Power from England... Demos: C'mon, return to entertainment instead of showin' yer ability of coding and handlin' raster or demos get boring and boring... Thanx for voting to: IAN / FUSION, JUST ICE / IKARI, BAD BOY / THE SURVIVORS, CF / BB, RUB / TWG, MAD ALL / CFR, JAYCE / DCU, MWS / RWE, NY / PLEASURE, ACU / SAP, DRS / ACE & TPI...
ILLEGAL © by JEFF SMART
Co-Editors & Contributors:
MAD ALL/CFR, MIND SLAYER/TAG, SWYX/TRIANGLE 3532, MR.PINGE/TRIAD, RADWAR, FAIRLIGHT, HOTLINE, DCU 1789, IKARI, FUSION, THE METRO BOYS
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