Big Blue Disk 18/bbd18new.zip/BLUENOTE.TXT

Text File | 1988-02-02 | 11KB | 266 lines

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^C^1Blue Notes

Dear BIG BLUE DISK,

   I just received the latest issue of BIG BLUE DISK.  When I tried to run it,
I was surprised to find that both disks were completely blank.  Did I get a bad
copy, or what?
^RJoe Schmoe
^RDubuque, IA

^1>No, it wasn't a bad copy; the issue's emptiness was an intentional feature.
^1>You see, that was our special "Hacker" issue.  The idea is that you are
^1>supposed to unleash your programming creativity by creating your own programs
^1>to fill the empty space on the two blank disks comprising the issue.  It's just
^1>another brilliant innovation from Softdisk, Inc., the Magazette Masters.
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Deer blue disc,

  i just got one of your blue discs, an i was'nt able to get it to lode ore
run.  My computor just hangsup an i gotta turn it off or sumptin too get it too
go agin.

  Also i just got a modum, the guy in the store sez its haze compatable,
wahtever that means an i tried to call yore bullatin bord sistem you talked
abut in a issue of blue disc.  it ringed but didnt connekt.

  Pleze help me!  i wanna do stuff on my computor, but all the sofware companys
treet me strange an never give me ansers to my problums that i unnerstand.

^RJack J. Jackson
^RJackson, MS

^1>It's a pleasure to receive such intelligent commentary by somebody who clearly
^1>knows what he's doing.  From the description of your problem, it appears you
^1>made an understandable error, even for somebody as technically knowlegeable as
^1>yourself.  As you must be aware, DIPswitch 7 on your model of PC controls the
^1>handling of software interrupts pertaining to the DMA controller.  What you
^1>might have overlooked is how the nonstandard connections of your system bus
^1>necessitate a change in the software configuration.  Simply move that DIPswitch
^1>to the On position, and BIG BLUE DISK should run fine for you.
^1>
^1>Your telecommunications difficulties can be solved even more simply.  While you
^1>got the baud rate and duplex flag set correctly, you neglected to select null
^1>parity, hence your failure to connect.  Simply type ALT-P in your terminal
^1>package (or ALT-Q if you have already upgraded to version 3.45), and your
^1>problem will be solved.
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Excuse me,

   Can you tell me what time it is?

^RRandom Bystander
^RShreveport, LA

^1>Sure, it's about ^T.
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Dear Big Blue Disk,

   I usually have no problem running your issues, but when I tried to run the
program "Anna's Glands #2," it crashed my system.  I have a Wise Guy PC.

^RAdam Aaron
^RAnapolis, MD

^1>That program was written in MegaSoft's ThickBASIC.  It turns out that this
^1>language is incompatible with the Wise Guy PC.  Hence, to enhance our
^1>compatibility in the future, we'll switch to using Boringland's Turgid BASIC.
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Dear Big Blue Disk,

   I usually have no problem running your issues, but when I tried to run the
program "PC General Legerdemain," it crashed my system.  I have a PC-Senior.

^RBenjamin Black
^RBoston, MA

^1>That program was written in Boringland's Turgid BASIC.  It turns out that this
^1>language is incompatible with the PC-Senior.  Hence, to enhance our
^1>compatibility in the future, we'll switch to using Xedcor's X-BASIC.
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Dear Big Blue Disk,

   I usually have no problem running your issues, but when I tried to run the
program "Monkey's Nephew," it crashed my system.  I have a Krazy Klone II.

^RCynthia Cramer
^RCincinnatti, OH

^1>That program was written in Xedcor's X-BASIC.  It turns out that this
^1>language is incompatible with the Krazy Klone II.  Hence, to enhance our
^1>compatibility in the future, we'll switch to using MegaSoft's ThickBASIC.
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Dear Big Blue Disk,

   I can't get any of your programs to run on my Trailing Edge Model T, whether
they're in ThickBASIC, Turgid BASIC, or X-BASIC.  What do you suggest I do?

^RDonald Doppler
^RDallas, TX

^1>Sell your computer and join a monastery.
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Pardon me,

   Can you tell me how to get to the South Park Mall?

^RAnonymous Passerby
^RShreveport, LA

^1>Certainly.  Just take Common St. until it becomes Line Ave., and... no, that's
^1>not right.  Go down Texas Ave. to Greenwood Road, and... no, I think you should
^1>get onto I-20... no, that doesn't go there either.  Sorry, you can't get there
^1>from here.
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Dear BIG BLUE DISK,

   I was wondering if you could help me with a problem.  You see, ever since my
office was computerized, all of the secret documents are on floppy disk instead
of paper.  But disks jam up the paper shredder.  What can I do?

^ROliver South
^RWashington, DC

^1>There's no need to shred the disks; just type DEL *.*, and all the files will
^1>be erased.  Why not send the old disks to us; we can use extra scratch disks.
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Dear Blue People,

   Oh dear, I seem to have accidentally deleted the files on an important disk
by typing DEL *.* by mistake.  Is there any way to recover these files?

^RSuzanne Stoppelmoor
^RSouth Bend, IN

^1>Don't worry.  The DEL command only marks the directory entries as deleted; the
^1>file's data is preserved unless you write over it again.  Use the Norton
^1>Utilities, or another similar program, to recover.
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Dear Editor,

   I think your mag has been really great since John Byrne took over.  His
rendition of Superman is excellent.  That Lex Luthor backup story in issue #9
really shows the depths of the depravity of that character, which is really
neat.  I love the changes that were made, but I'd still like to see you bring
back Red Kryptonite, Krypto the Superdog, Terra-Man, and Earth-2.

^RJoe Fan
^RMetropolis, IL

^1>Er, I believe you sent that letter to the wrong magazine.  I bet the comic book
^1>publisher ended up with your letter to BIG BLUE DISK.
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To Whom it May Concern:

   Our group has been monitoring your publication for some time.  We have found
BIG BLUE DISK to be thoroughly permeated with indecency and immorality.  Your
games containing cards and dice encourage the evil and destructive vice of
gambling.  The "Political Preference Survey" in issue #6 allows the readers to
express all sorts of un-American opinions.  And you have failed to fill your
issues with public-service messages urging readers to "Say No To Drugs," a
clear indication that your publisher favors rampant drug abuse.

   But we just discovered something even more horrifying:  If you spin your disk
drive backwards, every issue of BIG BLUE DISK contains ^1satanic messages^0!

   Due to these outrages, we are forced to bring the full power of our national
organization against purveyors of disk-based smut such as yourselves.  We have
added Softdisk, Inc. to our boycott list.  Our supporters are now being urged
to boycott Softdisk, all companies that do business with Softdisk, all people
or companies that do business with anyone who does business with Softdisk, and
all companies based in cities, states, or countries in which anyone in any of
the foregoing groups is located.

   Enclosed please find a check for my subscription renewal, so I can continue
to monitor your publication.
^RRonald Wildman
^RNational Federation Against Indecency
^RBible Belt, USA

^1>It's nice to see somebody like you who is committed to his ideals, since
^1>everybody with noble ideals like yours certainly ^0ought^1 to be committed.  We
^1>wish you good luck on your crusade to make America moral again.
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Hey buddy,

   Can you spare a dime?
^RStreet Person
^RShreveport, LA

^1>Here, take an issue of BIG BLUE DISK instead.  You surely must have a portable
^1>PC somewhere in that big bag of yours, don't you?
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Dear BIG BLUE DISK,

   I was wondering if you or any of your readers would be able to help me.  I'm
trying to set up my PC as the controller for a small thermonuclear device.  It
will be able to accept commands via modem to allow its detonation from a remote
terminal anywhere in the world.  As you can see, there is great profit potential
to this idea.  However, my technical skills are not quite up to figuring out
the proper configuration of an RS-232 port to handle the rather unusual I/O
ports of the nuke.  Hence, I would like a little help.  All suggestions would
be appreciated, and you will be able to thrill at the thought of becoming a
part of history by aiding me in this innovative project.  When that first city
goes up in smoke, the mushroom cloud will be partly your responsibility.  Isn't
that exciting?  So let's see some hints from the readership out there.

^RPeter Plutonium
^RSomewhere Nearby

^1>I think it would be best to connect pin 3 of your port to the detonation
^1>control, and ground pin 7.  But do any of our readers have other ideas?
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Hey you guys,

   I bet you really make up all the letters you print.  They can't possibly be
from real people.

^RA. Real Person
^RReal City, USA

^1>Well, we just printed your letter, which sure disproves your theory!
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Dear BIG BLUE DISK,

   I can run all of your programs and articles on my Candy 1000, except for the
Blue Notes letter column.  That comes out completely invisible on my screen.
Isn't there anything I can do to fix it?
^REmma Ellerman
^REast Fishkill, NY

^1>Yes, there's an easy solution, and it has been described in great detail
^1>several times in the Blue Notes letter column.  Can't you people read? I wish
^1>you'd read our text and follow the instructions before you go pestering us
^1>with your problems.
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Dear BIG BLUE DISK,

   I think you waste too much disk space on letter columns.  They're much too
long and boring.  You'd be better off shortening them and saving the disk space
for your programs.

^RDissatisfied
^RSomewhere west of the Mississippi

^1>We agree.  For starters, we won't publish your letter.