Hacker Chronicles 2/HACKER2.BIN/512.STERN.BTG

Text File | 1993-07-16 | 91KB | 1,778 lines

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UNAUTHORIZED FAQ
Version 0.1
July 16, 1993
By [e-mail]


===== 01.00 =====    INTRODUCTION    ======================================

01.01 TABLE OF CONTESTS

===== 01.00 =====    INTRODUCTION    ======================================

01.01  Table of contents
01.02  What is an unauthorized faq?
01.03  What is the authorized faq?

===== 02.00 ======   PRIME DIRECTIVE    ===================================

02.01  What is the (popular) prime directive of the Howard Stern Show?
02.01A What is the (real) prime directive of the Howard Stern Show?
02.02  Ratings, demographics and other lies?

===== 03.00 =====    WHO'S WHO    =========================================

03.01  Who is Howard Stern?
03.01A What is the Stern family tree?
03.01B Is Howard Jewish?
03.01C Did Howard serve in Viet Nam?
03.02  Who is Robin Quivers?
03.02A Is Robin black?
03.03  Who is Jackie the Jokeman?
03.04  Who is Fred Norris?
03.05  Who is Gary Del'Abate?
03.05A What is the origin of Baba-booey?
03.06  Who is Stuttering John Melendez?
03.06A Who are the other interns?
03.07  Who is Scott the engineer
03.08  Who is Billy West?
03.09  Who is Al Rosenberg?
03.10  Who is Ronnie Munn?
03.11  Who is Tom Chuisano?
03.12  Who is Mark Chernoff?
03.13  Who is Tim Sabean?
03.14  Who is Ed Moyers?
03.15  Who is Andy Bloom?
03.16  Who is Doug Poddell?
03.17  Who is Ed Levine?
03.18  Who is Domonic Barbara?
03.19  Who is super agent Don Buckwald?
03.20  Who is Pig Vomit?
03.21  Who is Dan Forman?
03.22  Who is Ralph Cirella?

===== 04.00 =====    PRE-WNBC DAYS    ======================================

04.01  Where did Howard attend college?
04.02  Where was Howard's first commercial radio job?
04.03  In what markets did Howard work between WRNW and WNBC?

===== 05.00 =====    WNBC DAYS    ==========================================

05.01  What happened at WNBC?
05.02  A little history about WNBC-AM 660 & Howard Stern
05.03  Who were Howard's bosses at WNBC?
05.04  Who is Don Imus?
05.05  Didn't Imus and Stern do commercials for WNBC together?
05.06  What caused the Soupy Sales-Howard Stern feud?
05.07  Who is Jack Spector?
05.08  How did Howard get fired from WNBC?

===== 06.00 =====    INFINITY DAYS    ======================================

06.01  What is Infinity?
06.01A Infinity syndication
06.02  Who are the other DJs on WXRK?
06.02A Who is the Greaseman?

===== 07.00 =====    OTHER MARKETS    ======================================

07.01  What other markets did Howard go to?
07.02  Where can I hear Howard?
07.03  What cities will get Howard next?
07.04  How can I contact Howard Stern?
07.05  Why is the FCC after Howard Stern?

===== 08.00 =====    HOWARD STERN'S RADIO PROGRAM    =======================

08.01  How can I tape Howard Stern's radio show?
08.02  What does the studio look like?
08.03  What happens at the opening of the show?
08.04  Why does Robin sit in another room?
08.05  Who are the woman who like Howard?
08.06  Who are the woman who hate Howard?
08.07  Who are the male regular guests?
08.08  What Howard Stern regulars died?
08.09  Who did Howard make cry?
08.10  Who advertises on Howard Stern Show (past and present)?
08.11  Why are there no sports, weather or traffic reports?
08.12  Whats so special about Howard's birthday shows?
08.13  What are the superbowl parties?
08.14  What are the FM-ies?
08.15  What is one question and one question only?
08.16  What is dial-a-date?
08.17  Who are Out of the Closet Stern & Blackswell?
08.18  Who is Mama Look a Booboo Day?
08.19  Who is yelling "shut up! sit down!?"
08.20  What are the funerals?

===== 09.00 =====    HOWARD GROUPIES AND OTHERS    =========================

09.01  What are the Howard Stern callers?
09.01a ...and who are some of callers to the Howard Stern Show?
09.02  What happened between Howard Stern and Bon Jovi?
09.03  Is Howard really mad at Richard Simmons?
09.04  What is the Whack Pack?
09.04a What is the Not-so Whack Pack?
09.05  Who is Crazy Jerry, Gina-Girl and Gina-Man?
09.06  Who is the Mad Russian?
09.07  Who is "Melrose" Larry Green?
09.08  Who is Chauncy?
09.09  Who is Dr. Marshall King?
09.10  Who is Daniel Carver?
09.11  Who is Underdog Lady?
09.12  Who is Steve O?
09.13  Who is Elan Gold?
09.14  Who is Ira Zimmerman?

===== 10.00 =====    HOWARD ON TV    =======================================

10.01  When was Howard on Late Night with David Letterman?
10.02  When was Howard/Robin on Joan Rivers Show?
10.03  What is Howard Stern's Fox connection?
10.04  What is Howard Stern's connection with MTV?
10.05  What is Howard Stern's connection with Hard Copy?
10.06  What other shows have feature Howard as a guest?
10.07  What shows have mentioned Howard Stern?
10.08  What is Howard Stern's wrestling connection?
10.09  Was Howard ever on a game show?
10.09a Has Robin ever appeared on a game show
10.10  What TV series did Howard Stern host?
10.11  Where can I get a guide to Howard Sterns WWOR Show?
10.12  Who has Howard interviewed on E!?

===== 11.00 =====    FAN CLUBS    ==========================================

11.01  Is there a Howard Stern fan club?
11.02  Are Captain Janks phony phone calls available?
11.03  What is the AFA Journal?
11.04  Are there any other Howard Stern clubs?
11.05  What magazines did stories on Howard?
11.05a What magazines did stories on Robin?
11.06  Are there any Howard Stern BBS?

===== 12.00 =====    MERCHANDISE    ========================================

12.01  What Howard Stern products are there?
12.01a Pay per view negligee & underpants party
12.01b U.S. Open Sores
12.01c Crucified by the FCC
12.01d Butt Bongo Fiesta

===== 13.00 =====    COPY CATS    ==========================================

13.01  Does Howard also rips off?
13.02  Did Howard really create Fartman?
13.03  What is the origins of Butt Bongo?

===== 14.00 =====    SONGS AND BITS    =====================================

14.01  What is the song Elton John sings about Howard?
14.01a What are the words to the song Elton John sings about Howard?
14.02  What are the words to Seinfeld teen?

01.02  WHAT IS AN UNAUTHORIZED FAQ?
This is a great way to cram ones opinions down some ones throat, without any
responsibility.  I believe the information is accurate, but I can't guarantee
it.  Legitimately this isn't a FAQ, in that it isn't based on questions in the
Howard Stern conference, let alone frequently asked!  I've use the question
and answer style because it is good bathroom reading, fast little bits.
Welcome fellow short attention spanners! If you don't like it, you can destroy
it.  The basic theory behind this article is to spark memories and explain the
origins of some. If you have more info to add, lets go.  My internet address
is: [e-mail].

01.03  WHAT IS AN UNAUTHORIZED FAQ?
The FAQ was written by Nick Simicich ([e-mail]).  It is usually
published once a month.

===== 02.00 ======   PRIME DIRECTIVE    ===================================
2.01  WHAT IS THE (POPULAR) PRIME DIRECTIVE OF THE HOWARD STERN SHOW?
The 1st premise we know about The Howard Stern Show is that it is a comedy
show.  Although he is controversial, vulgar (?) and much of the time makes
excellent sense the prime directive is COMEDY.  He mocks and satirizes
everything and whether he means to be insensitive or not, the laugh is the
thing.  Sometimes when he is trapped in a debate he will refer to the show as
comedy show as his cop out.

2.01a  WHAT IS THE (REAL) PRIME DIRECTIVE OF THE HOWARD STERN SHOW?
To make money.  Just like any other commercial entertainment outlet, the
program does live and die by its ability to sell product.  Obviously high
ratings especially in the crucial demographics is important to attract
sponsors.

2.02  RATINGS, DEMOGRAPHICS AND OTHER LIES?
This is something I really know a lot about.  My work is market and social
research. I have worked for A C Nielson, Arbitron, Burke, Media Statistics, W
R Simmons, 3 Sigma, Gallup Poll, Louis Harris, Westat, Research Triangle,
Elrich and Lavich, Kane and Parsons, Temple University, Chilton, NORC, Daniel
Yankelovich and at least 100 other research firms.  Simply stated a
demographic is merely a grouping of people, the group can be as large or as
small as one wishes to make it. Using a spin doctor, anyone can claim to be
#1, if they target the right group or sub group.  Howard always made fun of
Soupy Sales for his claim "#1 in cars."

===== 03.00 =====    WHO'S WHO    =========================================
03.01  WHO IS HOWARD STERN?
Howard Alan Stern was born on Jan. 12th 1954 to Ben and Ray Stern (B.10-22),
in Roosevelt Long Island NY.  Ben and Ray were married in 1946. His sister
Ellen is about 3 years older than him. Ellen is married to Peter Dunn and they
have two daughters (Sharon B.10/77 & ?).  Howard married his Boston University
sweetheart Alison (B.05-25-54) on June 4, 1974.  Alison's parents are Bob and
Norma who lived in Boston and now resides in Florida.  Alison's brother Bruce
(B.1956) lives in Atlanta.  Bruce has appeared a number of times on Howard's
radio show (He speaks in monotones).  Alison also has a sister named Betsy.
Howard & Alison have 3 daughters, Emily (B.1983), Deborah (B.1987) and Ashley
Jade (B.1993). Howard and family currently reside on Long Island. [Note: I May
have mixed up Emily & Deborah, also one of them was born with a different name
something like Jennifer, which Howard changed]

03.01a  WHAT IS THE STERN FAMILY TREE?
                                                  STERN
          Bob           Norma                 Ray        Ben
            --------------                      ----------
           |      |       |         STERN      |          |    DUNN
         Betsy  Bruce    Alison             Howard      Ellen        Peter
                              ----------------              -----------
                             |       |        |            |           |
                           Deborah  Emily   Ashley      Sharon      Daughter

03.01b IS HOWARD JEWISH?
He claims to be half-Jewish, which is at least half-true. He claims his mother
is Italian and christian. Through inference, when his sister Ellen called to
explain why their mother didn't call the show, he claimed for denying his full
Jewishness is so that when he mocks other religions and races, there isn't an
anti-semitic backlash.  His sister by the way married a non-Jew (Peter), but
yet both their daughters were Bat-Mitzvahs.  I also recall back in the WNBC
days when he & his mother got into an argument, where she wanted him to wear a
suit for Yom Kippur.  His eldest daughter is studying Hebrew and this is
verified in the parody "Mr. Rabbi."   Other various proofs are that he takes
off for many Jewish holidays, he uses many Yiddish idioms, and seems to be most
GENUINELY upset when Jewish groups take him to task for anti semitic remarks.
(See prime directive)
(Appearing on Larry King Live on CNN (approx. Mar, 1988)
King:  Why do you let your hair grow like that, you're a Jewish boy?
Stern: Well I'm half-Jewish
King:  Half-Jewish?
Stern: Yes
King:  Oh, I see, what, your father's half?
Stern: You got to say half-Jewish or else the Catholics will beat you up
       in NY for the things I say

03.01c DID HOWARD SERVE IN VIET NAM?
No. But his brother Wilbur did (Although he doesn't have a brother Wilbur).

03.02  WHO IS ROBIN QUIVERS?
Robin Ophelia Quivers was born on Aug. 8th 1952 in Baltimore Maryland.  She
seems to be at odds with her parents (even to this day).  She joined the Air
Force and then became a registered nurse.  She was offered a job in the late
70s as a newscaster for a Washington DC radio station.  There, She was teamed
as Howard's news person.  Howard (much like Steve Allen, although he will deny
it) enjoys making personalities out of everybody.  He encouraged Robin to
engage in conversation rather than just be a news reader. She obliged and a
chemistry between the two began.  She has branched out on her own and appeared
on the Joan Rivers Show (92), Scattergories (3/93) & CNBC special (5/93).  She
also was featured in People Magazine (4/93). She currently has a weekly
commentary segment on Good Morning America-Sunday Edition. Among others, she
has dated Penn Jillete (Penn & Teller), Michael Swan (Duncan-Another World), &
even Richard Simmons (to see "Legs Diamond"). For a while Robin lived in
Queens she now resides on the upper east side of Manhattan.

03.02a  IS ROBIN BLACK?
Yes

03.03  WHO IS JACKIE THE JOKEMAN?
John Martlin, Jr., "Jackie the Jokeman," was born on Feb. 14th, 1949 in East
Norwich Long Island. Jackie went to Michigan State.  He is married to
actress/folk singer Nancy Sirianni (All Folked Up) who he met while she was
hitchhiking.  They were married in 1988 after living together for several
years and have no children.  Jackie's job is to write jokes and hand them to
Howard.  Jackie has written joke pages which appear in the
Beat, Penthouse and soon, Platinum.  He is primarily known as a stand up
comedian.  He lost to Steve O on Ed McMahon's Star Search.  (As a side note
Steve O beat Martin Lawrence the week before).  He is Howard Stern's head
writer. He writes gags on the fly.  He is known for suffering from ten nail
syndrome, (had all his toe nails pulled out).  He wears finger cotts. He has a
deformed belly button. He also writes and performs some comedic songs with a
definite country flavor (Roll out the Reefer, Flies). His company is Off-Hour
Rockers. The phone # is 1(516)922-WINE. He and his wife live at "Jokeland" in
Bayville LI.

03.04  WHO IS FRED NORRIS?
"Frightening" Fred Norris was born on July 9th 1955, and is of Latvian
descent. He is known as the king of Mars, & has worked with Howard since WRNW.
When WNBC fired the entire Howard Stern Show, only Fred kept his job with
WNBC. He is best known for his sound effects (painting). Most of the time he
has to explain them. His job is to prepare the sound bites for the 1st ten
minutes of the show & run the commercials. He is instrumental on sketches and
parodies.  He plays guitar, sings and does imitations. He does Kurt Waldheim,
Jr., a nazi who likes to play guess who's the Jew (gives 3 names, & contestant
picks the Jew).  He is also Dr. Norris when ever Howard is talking to anyone
in the medical profession. A past reoccurring character was Mrs. Flemstein.
Mrs. Flemstein (which hasn't been used in years) calls up and asks riddle
after riddle. Fred also plays the gay character Blackswell.  Fred is a very
private person, and rarely if ever has any of his work mates to his home.  He
exploded when Howard grabbed his bag and rifled through his papers.  To add to
Fred's strangeness, he carries shovels in his car and use to sell flank steaks
at Stern's live shows.  Another weirdness is that he use to wear two watches.
He has a fan club called "CLUB FRED." He met his live-in girlfriend (the
Jewish princess) Allison on a dial-a-date, they live in Manhattan.

03.05  WHO IS GARY DEL'ABATE?
Gary Dell'Abate was born in 19603. He is the producer of the Howard Stern show
and gets a lot of air time. His father was an ice cream salesman and his
mother has a large collection of saints. Gary originally was interning at WNBC
to assist Roz Frank a traffic reporter. Howard took pity on Gary, who was
being mistreated by Roz. He called him "Boy" Gary (obvious parody of "Boy"
George). He gave him a job on the show which eventually grew to producer.
Howard constantly makes fun of Gary's giant caps and bad breath.  He makes it
seem that Gary is inept and is always on the verge of firing him. He would
force Gary to repeat things like "I am inept and will do better."  Gary
reluctantly would do this in an obvious condescending tone calling Howard,
"Boss."  After Gary got married he refused to repeat. Gary is best known as
Baba-booey. He and his wife Mary married on July 3rd 1992.  They live on the
upper west side of Manhattan.

03.05a  WHAT IS THE ORIGIN OF BABA-BOOEY?
Gary Dell'Abate's hobby is collecting cells of animated characters.  He has
paid hundreds (thousands?) of dollars for celluloid frames from cartoons.
Howard was as usual poking fun at this endeavor and feigning interest asked
Gary what was he looking to add to his collection.  He responded "Baba-Booey"
This caused partial snickering and confusion.  Since Gary is clearly the
expert on the panel concerning animations it spurred a half hour debate as to
the correct pronunciation.  After everyone was convinced that Gary wrongly
pronounced Baba Louie (Quick Draw MacGraw's sidekick), the non-ceasing ribbing
got underway.  Perhaps the most damning was when Gary came in after about an
hour of total abuse.  He claimed that it was no longer funny and that the bit
had worn thin.  This only caused the abuse to grow.  Eventually they even
played pranks on Gary, with a series of phone calls.  Billy West called up
looking for an intern job.  He said his name was Bob and eventually when Gary
was happy with his qualifications and asked him his whole name, he said Bob A
Booey.  He later called back as a female named Barbara.  She became Barbara
Booey. After years of referring to Gary as Baba-Booey, they decided to let it
evolve.  Billy West was called in again to play with it and came up with
things like Fa-Fa Fooey, Fa-Fa-Flunky, Re-Re-Retard, Ma-Ma-Monkey and so on.

03.06  WHO IS STUTTERING JOHN MELENDEZ?
John Melendez was born in 1966 in Massapequa Long Island.  When Mitch (Fertel)
the intern, complete his internship with Howard, he brought in his friend John
as his replacement. John became an intern around 1989.  Howard was immediately
delighted by John's stutter.  He informed Howard that he was planning to
become a rock guitarist.  His group was called Rock Slide, and they appeared
on the Joe Franklin Show. He played with groups named Munn (after Ronnie the
Limo driver) and Rubber Beaver.  He even wrote a song about Howard, titled
something like the Kike from New York City.  Howard wishing to use John's
stuttering ability made him an interviewer.  For some reason his first few
interviewing situations threw him in contact with Carly Simon (also a
stutterer).  His interviews were featured prominently on the Stern Show and
earned him the nickname "King of the Stupid."  For a few months, Infinity gave
John a DJ job on its NYC AM affiliate Z-Rock. John appeared with Rock Slide,
Vinny Mazzio & Jody Bongiovi on Joe Franklin. John is dating Karen Harris from
the Howard Stern TV Show (They appeared together on the Newlywed parody).
John currently lives in Manhattan and Masapequa.

03.06a  WHO ARE THE OTHER INTERNS?
From the NBC days Howard turned his interns into on-air personalities.  On
NBC he had "Boy" Lee, "Boy" Gary Dell'Abate and "Dead" Dave.  "Dead" Dave
earned his nickname from his monotone styling.  Every so often Howard
will play the "Dead" Dave interview with Dr Ruth.  On K-Rock, Howard featured
the intern Mitch Fertel.  Mitch did a homeless make over on the Underpants
Pay-per-view special.  He quit to work for David Brenner's Nightlife program
on ABC.  Mitch introduced his friend John Melendez to Howard as replacement
intern.  Since then other interns have joined but John has hung on.
Steve Grillo (Gorilla) who for about two weeks presented the Stern Week-in-
review. Mike Gangi, who has a weird speech affect which Fred loves to
imitate.  Big Joe who was rarely on the air.  Perhaps the most embarrassing
moment on the Stern show was Big Joe's last day as an intern (May 28, 1993).
Howard was shocked that the obese Joe could get girls.  Joe had claimed he had
many girlfriends, and brought in his current one.  Howard found it quite
unusual that a such a beautiful girl would date Joe.  After questioning them,
and still unconvinced, he wanted them to kiss.  Although they did, the girl
was obviously repulsed and all came out.  Joe was a good sport in admitting,
they were just good friends and never really dated.  There was an obvious
uneasiness and Howard seemed genuinely bad at uncovering this.

As to Robin's interns, although a few of them have made it on the air, there
is only one of real note.  Her name was Jackie the intern.  Howard had Dr.
King hypnotize her on the air.  He also used her for some British TV appearance
in which Jackie appeared in a bikini and sat on Howard's lap.  Most of her
interns are female.  I am not sure but I think Big Joe mentioned above was
Robin's intern.  Shelli interned for a while, she had great typing skills and
was always ready to appear topless for Howard.

03.07  WHO IS SCOTT THE ENGINEER
Scott Salem is the engineer for the Howard Stern Show.  He basically does
the editing on all Stern bits and news clips.  Howard pokes fun at Scott's
smoking and baldness.  He runs a DJ service called Rocket Entertainment
(1-800-BAG-5040).  Classic bit was when Corey Feldman as Donotello, one of
the Ninja Turtles called Scott's young son.

03.08  WHO IS BILLY WEST?
Billy West is from the Boston area.  He does a number of voices on the Stern
show including Leona Helmsey, Lucille Ball, Suzanne Pleshette, Marge Schott,
Larry Fine, Red, etc.  He is currently the voice oF Stempy  on the Ren &
Stempy show.

03.09  WHO IS AL ROSENBERG?
Back in the old NBC days, Al wrote and worked with Howard.  He also worked
for Don Imus.  Later he worked for WNEW in NYC.  He then went on to work
on the Howard Stern TV Show.

03.10  WHO IS RONNIE MUNN?
Ronnie is Howard's limo driver(/bodyguard?).  He does get occassion air
play.  He has argued with Sam Kinison and LA programming director Andy Bloom
on the air.

03.11  WHO IS TOM CHUISANO?
Tom "Cheap-a-sano" (B.1948?) is the general manager of WXRK-FM.  Normally
Howard calls him in to complain.  Tom is ribbed by Howard about his golf
playing.  He & his wife Penelope has a son who likes to play hockey.  They
live in Westchester.

03.12  WHO IS MARK CHERNOFF?
Mark was WXRK's program director who's ideas were in conflict with Howard.
Howard would constantly berate Mark and make fun of his diminutive size.
Mark would always try to get Howard to be a team player and promote the other
DJs and be available for sponsor meetings and charitable events.  It one of
the more memorable moments Howard donated money to save the rain forest in
return Mark had to show him his penis and walk around the station in a Hitler
moustache.  Mark took over the directing abilities on Infinities AM sister
station All-Sports Radio WFAN.  Howard try to talk him into staying on WXRK,
but Mark was determined to go to WFAN.

03.13  WHO IS TIM SABEAN?
Tim is the program director on WYSP and now WXRK also.  He seems to be pretty
hands off and Howard rarely discusses him.

03.14  WHO IS ED MOYERS?
Ed Moyers is WXRKs top salesman.  He gets advertising for Howard's show.
Ed is known as a real party animal.

03.15  WHO IS ANDY BLOOM?
Andy Bloom was the station manager for WYSP FM in Phila.  He and Stern have
a good relationship.  He went on to become GM at KLSX in Los Angeles, and
was successful in getting Howard on that radio station.  Andy got involved
with Capt Janks and with Ronnie the Limo driver.

03.16  WHO IS DOUG PODDELL?
Doug Poddell was the station manager in Detroit when Howard was on. He once
told his audience that they can "Jew" down the prices on a sponsors product,
innocently not realizing this is a racial slur.  Being that it was obvious
that Doug meant no harm no one got too upset but it makes a funny story.  Doug
currently is with WNCX in Cleveland and hired Howard for the Cleveland market.

03.17  WHO IS ED LEVINE?
A few years ago Howard was broadcasting the Grammies from Los Angeles.  As
usual Howard was grouped with other DJs in one large room.  Howard turned this
negative into a positive by being annoyed by everything and picking fights
with everyone and everything including Elaine Boosler's boyfriend.  The on
going fight was the "Balls" fight between Ed Levine and Howard.  Ed was the
station manager in Albany and not only took the abuse from Howard but fought
with an aggressive vengeance.  The fight quickly fell into second grade
mentality with "You don't have the Balls" being the prominent swing phrase.
Year later due to Howard's insisting, WJFK hired him as program director.
Howard said if a guy can fight that way for losers in Albany think what he
could do for Howard in Washington DC.  Howard and Ed were really big fans of
each other.  However unfortunately Howard did not do as well in Washington DC
as he did in NY or Philly.  The Greaseman was still a thorn in his side, and
frustrated Ed Levine left and went back to Albany.  Howard was incensed by this
and swore vengeance on Ed and quickly looked for an option to get on in Albany.
When he did, Ed, who can street fight with the best of them published a paper
on How to Beat Howard Stern.

03.18  WHO IS DOMONIC BARBARA?
"Bloated attorney" Domonic Barbara, is a divorce attorney.  He was/is also
Jessica Hahn's attorney.  Domonic will call in when a legal question arises.
He also is good friends with Howard, they go to Atlantic City together and
play cards together.

03.19  WHO IS SUPER AGENT DON BUCKWALD?
Don is Howard and Robin's agent.  He can be seen in the Open Sores tape.

03.20  WHO IS PIG VOMIT?
Pig Vomit is a Bronx based club rock group (they even do Bar Mitzvahs).
They won a Stern parody contest. Howard was so impressed by their skills that
he invited them to do the music tracks for his parodies.  They can be seen on
the Open Sores video.

03.21  WHO IS DAN FORMAN?
Dan Forman was the director of Howard Stern's WWOR TV Show.  He worked in the
WWOR TV Newsroom and is currently directing WNBC-TV's News.  Dan has appeared
a number of times on the TV Show, especially noteworthy was the time he
appeared with his wife on the Sternlywed Game.  He can be seen on Butt Bongo
Fiesta.

03.22  WHO IS RALPH CIRELLA?
Ralph is Howard's personal make-up man and also makes the costumes for
Howard's characters on WWOR.  Howard had a major problem with Ralph taking
pictures at the Geraldo Rivera-Frank Stallone fight.  Ralph gave him the
pictures and everything cleared up.  Howard makes fun of Ralph's look (broken
tooth and berry on his face).

===== 04.00 =====    PRE-WNBC DAYS    ======================================

04.01  WHERE DID HOWARD ATTEND COLLEGE?
He attended Boston University and worked on their college radio station, WTBU.
The program was called the "King Schmaltz Bagel Hour".  He was fired on the
air.

04.02  WHERE WAS HOWARD'S FIRST COMMERCIAL RADIO JOB?
He began working with WRNW in Bryn Myr (Westchester, NY) in 1977. WRNW
transmitted with 3,000 watts on 107.1.  He was paid $97 a week.  Here is some
information on Stern's gig at WRNW, he worked the 10 AM - 2 PM Shift
"Oldies to new wave, some jazz, soul, funk, folk." (Radio Guide 7/78)
10 am   close ups
12 noon concert rock
1 PM    concert/club lists
From there he got a job in the Hartford Connecticut area. There he met Fred
Norris and worked with Meg Griffin who later went on to
WNEW-FM, WPLJ-FM and eventually WXRK where she followed Howard's show.

04.03  IN WHAT MARKETS DID HOWARD WORK BETWEEN WRNW AND WNBC?
He then worked in Detroit (WWWW).  WWWW went all country, he was enticed to
the Washington DC market.  He worked for WWDC FM (101).  Due to his great
popularity, WNBC in New York was interested in Howard's services for their
afternoon drive.  Howard had much bad blood in Wash DC, in that he earned
$40,000 a year and the general manager was earning $500,000. As he moved on to
NYC, the Wash DC station claimed to have fired Howard.  The station claimed
they fired Howard for calling Air Florida after the Jan 13, 1982 crash of its
Boeing 737 into the 14th street bridge over the Potamic River. He called Air
Florida to find out the fare from Florida to the 14th street bridge.  Although
he did do that, Howard denies that is the reason for his firing. He claims the
station only fired him to humiliate him, knowing he was heading to NY after his
contract ended.  He disliked the station manager who he feels paid him way
less than he deserved.  Howard tells stories of the station managers favorite
word (fartig), liking for taking steam baths, his palacial estate and his need
to humiliate Howard.  He also tells a story of how everyone thought the guy
was going to die from a mysterious disease, but it turn out he was bitten by a
tick.  Howard was replaced by Doug Tract, the Greaseman, who had no problem
maintaining the #1 morning show in Wash DC.  In Oct. of 1988 Howard figured he
would get revenge as he began his syndicated show into Wash.  Howard would
mimic Greaseman's speech pattern and his long bits on serving in Viet Nam.
However much to Howard's chagrin, Howard had rating problems in DC.
Eventually Greaseman signed with Infinity, and they began syndicating him.
Howard still resents Greaseman and in NY refuses to play his promo under the
guise of mechanical failure.

===== 05.00 =====    WNBC DAYS    ==========================================

05.01  WHAT HAPPENED AT WNBC?
In 1982 he joined WNBC, 660 AM in NYC for the home time drive.  WNBC was the
top rated station in the market with morning show "Imus in the Morning."  WNBC
was looking for a comedy-music format to go along with Imus and hired Stern
and Soupy Sales to fit into that format.  Howard Stern handled the afternoon
drive shift and had many run ins at WNBC.  They wanted him to promote the
other station personnel and to stick to a rigorous schedule (talk less, play
pre-recorded bits, less spontaneity).  He was fired after airing a discussion
of a bestiality dial-a-date.

05.02  A LITTLE HISTORY ABOUT WNBC-AM 660 & HOWARD STERN
July 25, 1922  A.T.&.T. purchases a NYC radio outlet, the govt. grants
               them the call letters WBAY
??? ??, 19??   RCA (owner of NBC), purchases WBAY and changes the call letters
               to WEAF
Nov 10, 1946   WEAF changes call letters to WNBC
Oct 18, 1954   WNBC changes call letters to WRCA
May 23, 1960   WRCA changes call letters back to WNBC
??? ??, 197?   WNBC hires Don Imus
Feb ??, 1982   Howard Stern joins WNBC as their afternoon man [2/82???]
??? ??, 1984   Howard Stern fired by WNBC [1984 or 85???]
??? ??, 1985   Howard Stern joins WXRK, as their afternoon man vowing to
               destroy WNBC, and wanting to go on in the morning
??? ??, 1985   Howard replaces Jay Thomas as morning man to go head to head
               against WNBC's Don Imus
Oct 22, 1986   Traffic report Jane Dornacher, aboard the N-Copter, dies
               in a crash
July 1, 1987   An incident that will eventually effect WNBC. WFAN, the 1st
               all sports radio station replaces WHN on 1050 in NYC, begins
               broadcasting.
Oct 7, 1988    WNBC last day - Emmis purchases frequency rights and moves
               their all sports radio WFAN form 1050 to 660
??? ??, 19??   WFAN hires WNBC's Don Imus as their morning man
??? ??, 1991   Infinity purchases WFAN

05.03  WHO WERE HOWARD'S BOSSES AT WNBC?
Randy Baumgarten and John Hayes

05.04  WHO IS DON IMUS?
Don Imus is probably the original shock-jock.  He has been on WNBC radio for
what seems like hundreds of years.  His big things were "How's Your Donkey
Kong, Baby?" & "Are You Naked?"  His major character was Reverend Bill Saul
Hargass.  He also played a "quack-quack" duck sound.  He is one of the first
to combine a pop music format with comedic talk, bits and telephone games.
Howard despises him and really hated that the general manager (who he calls
Pig Virus) wanted him to be more like Imus.  When Stern left WNBC he vowed he
would go against Imus with a morning show and destroy him and WNBC.

05.05  DIDN'T IMUS AND STERN DO COMMERCIALS FOR WNBC TOGETHER?
Yes, they did a series of TV comls.  Although my memory is quite sketchy
about these early 1980 commercials, I recall one about a toll booth, another
where they are sitting on swivel chairs with their backs to the camera and
another with a priest who I think drew mustaches on their billboard.

05.06  WHAT CAUSED THE SOUPY SALES-HOWARD STERN FEUD?
Soupy Sales who preceded Howard's show on WNBC had a piano and piano player.
Soupy use to do some bits which involved this piano.  Well it seems that
someone during Soupy's shift ate a salad and left a major mess in the studio.
Howard as usual went ballistic and threatened Soupy that if someone doesn't
clean it up immediately he would cut strings on Soupy's piano.  Soupy was in
a meeting planing future shows and could not be reached in time.  Eventually
a very apologetic Soupy called but it was too late Howard already damaged the
piano strings.  Soupy made light of it on the air but was truly pissed.

05.07  WHO IS JACK SPECTOR?
Howard refers to Jack Spector who was one of the DJs in the 50s/60s during the
heyday of rock and roll AM radio in New York.  He was with the ilk of Dan
Ingram, Cousin Brucie Morrow, Murray the K, Allen Freed, WMCA good guys, etc.
Howard really liked Jack who always said pleasant things to and about him.  He
would tell Howard to get FU money (Enough money so if you want to get out of
the business you can tell your boss F.U.).  Anyway Jack Spector who was
basically a great voice that just spun records was given a gig with WNBC
during the Stern era.  He followed Stern with of all things a sports talk
show.  He admittedly knew nothing or little of sports and would say things that
sports really didn't matter "the sun will rise the next day" whether your team
won or lost.  Now one must remember that Yankee, Met, Islander, Ranger,
Knicks, Nets, Giants, Jets NY contains die hard fans.  As a matter of fact
WNBC had hired Bill Mazer in the past, and eventually its frequency and
station was bought for WFAN, the 1st all sports radio station.  Spector just
thrown into the wrongest possible job he could have.  So night after night
while Spector was berated by callers, he just happily collected his check and
continued.  Well Howard decided to have some fun with Jack and he called him
on his sports show as Russell.  Perhaps one of the funniest calls ever, he
somehow got the conversation on to football players wives and girl friends and
into Jack's personal life.  The call went on for a long while, mostly with
Russell (Howard) praising Jack, and Jack
seemed upset when Russell finished his call.  Jack was very complimentary
about Russell. The next day Howard played the call on his show and indeed Jack
was a good sport about it, but every time he got a good call he suspected
it to be Howard Stern.  When someone called Jack about a highly technical
question on of all things yachting, Howard claimed he did it (although later
he confessed he wasn't the caller)

05.08  HOW DID HOWARD GET FIRED FROM WNBC?
In late 1984 he was fired from WNBC.  He discussed doing a bestiality Dial-a-
date on a Thursday.  On Friday there was a hurricane and Howard and crew still
came to work.  He did not return to the air the following Monday.  An NBC exec
who listened to that Thursday show dropped the axe.  Howard believes that it
was Grant Tinker. In Mid 1985 WXRK hired him.  Later that year he replaced Jay
Thomas as the morning man. Howard vowed to destroy WNBC

===== 06.00 =====    INFINITY DAYS    ======================================

06.01  WHAT IS INFINITY?
Infinity is a broadcasting group that owns WXRK, WYSP, WJFK, WBCN, WFAN among
many others.

06.01a INFINITY SYNDICATION
On Aug 8, 1986, WYSP-FM Philadelphia, also owned by Infinity, began
simulcasting him.  He vowed to beat his competition John D'Bello of WMMR.
He was/is successful in Philadelphia so Infinity began airing his show in
Washington DC.  On Oct 3, 1988, WBMW-FM changed its call sign to WJFK-FM as it
began transmitting the Stern morning program.  Howard's competition in Wash DC,
was the Greaseman {Doug Tract who was born in the Bronx NY).  After Howard
defeated him, Infinity contracted with the Greaseman and syndicated his
program too, much to the chagrin of Howard.

06.02  WHO ARE THE OTHER DJS ON WXRK?
Howard refers to many of the other DJs on WXRK.  Here are some short capsules
on each.  Meg Griffin (Also on VH-1) was his favorite cross-over (cross over
is like a relay race, where you pass the baton) dj.  He had worked with Meg in
the 70's at WRNW.  Meg would get especially riled up when Sam Kinison was
Howard's guest, she is a staunch feminist.  Howard wrote a song called
"The Angry Young Meg," to which Meg answered back with a song backed up by her
favorite group The Washington Squares.  Another cross over was Jimmy Fink,
who's family owned the Fink Bread Company.  Howard would pick on Jimmy's great
wealth.  Marc Coppola (Francis Ford Coppola's nephew) was a fill-in DJ.
Howard would annoy Marc about his lack of hair and the fact that Francis Ford
Coppola doesn't offer him any acting jobs.  Maria Malito & Bob Wah (See OUT OF
THE CLOSET STERN) use to do Overnights (2 AM-6 AM shift) and did some of the
Best of Stern shows.  Allison Steele (Nightbird) now handles the overnight
shift & did the Woodstock Moment with Larry Fine bit.  Dave Herman who
competed with Howard, doing mornings on local competition WNEW.  Howard would
constantly poke fun at Dave's age, but when Dave came over to WXRK, Howard
eased up.  He now mocks Dave for using Prodigy.  The Turtles (Flo & Eddie)
handled afternoon drive for a while. Another guy who later became Meg's
boyfriend was a DJ for a while.  WXRK began syndicating the Greaseman, which
has really hit the ire of Howard.  Another of Howard's favorite foils was the
madame (Jo Mader).  Another DJ (name escapes me) was the afternoon guy on
WXRK.  He dated (and may still be dating) Meg.

06.02a  WHO IS THE GREASEMAN?
Doug Tract was born in the Bronx.  He was a DJ working in Florida, when Howard
Stern was on WWDC in Washington DC.  When Howard left his #1 show to go to
WNBC NY, WWDC replaced him with the Greaseman.  Howard was shocked that
Greaseman, was able to maintain the #1 spot, which did not sit well with
Howard's ego.  Howard is extremely annoyed that Infinity gave Greaseman a
contract and has him syndicated out of California.  He is currently on
Howard's flagship station WXRK at 6PM-10PM.  Howard refuses to run any
promos for the Greaseman.


===== 07.00 =====    OTHER MARKETS    ======================================

07.01  WHAT OTHER MARKETS DID HOWARD GO TO?
In 1991 Howard signed a contract with Infinity allowing him to market his
program on non-Infinity stations.  Within 2 years he went from 3 markets to
15.

07.02  WHERE CAN I HEAR HOWARD?
Thanks Charles Kunz ([e-mail])
For phone numbers - STERN = 78376
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
STATE        | New York      |Pennsylvania  |D.C.          |California
CITY         | New York      |Philadelphia  |Washington    |Los Angeles
START DATE   | ??/??/1985    |10/03/1985    |10/03/1988    |07/25/1991
CALLS        | WXRK-FM       |WYSP-FM       |WJFK-FM       |KLSX-FM
FREQUENCY    | 92.3          |94.1          |106.7         |97.1
START TIME   | 5:55 AM       |5:55 AM       |5:55 AM       |3:00 AM
END TIME     | After 10:00   |After 10:00   |After 10:00   |After 10:00
LIVE OR TAPE | Live          |Live          |Live          |3-6 Live, then tape
PHONE NUMBER | 1(212)955-9292|1(800)44-STERN|1(800)44-STERN|1(800)23-STERN
COMPETITION  | Don Imus      |John D'Bello  |Doug Tract    |Mark & Brian
             | Scott Shannon |(Zookeeper)   |(Greaseman)   |Jay Thomas
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
STATE        | Maryland      |Ohio          |Texas         |New York
CITY         | Baltimore     |Cleveland     |Dallas/Ft Wort|Albany
START DATE   | 10/01/1991    |08/31/1992    |10/03/1988    |07/25/1991
CALLS        | WJFK-AM       |WNCX-FM       |KEGL-FM       |WQBX-FM
FREQUENCY    | 1300          |98.5          |97.1          |103.9
START TIME   | 5:55 AM       |5:55 AM       |5:55 AM       |5:55 AM
END TIME     | After 10:00   |After 10:00   |After 10:00   |After 10:00
LIVE OR TAPE | Live          |Live          |Tape          |Live
PHONE NUMBER | 1(800)44-STERN|1(800)84-STERN|1(800)54-STERN|1(800)685-STERN
COMPETITION  |               |Jeff & Flash  |              |Ed Levine
             |               |John Lanigan  |              |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
STATE        | Illinois      |Nevada        |New York      |Massachusetts
CITY         | Chicago       |Las Vegas     |Rochester     |Boston
START DATE   | 10/15/1992    |11/09/1992    |02/18/1993    |03/??/1993
CALLS        | WLUP-AM       |KFBI-FM       |WRQI-FM       |WBCN-FM
FREQUENCY    | 1000          |107.5         |95.1/95.5     |104.1
START TIME   | 5:55 AM       |3:00 AM       |5:55 AM       |7:00 PM
END TIME     | After 10:00   |After 10:00   |After 10:00   |After 11:00
LIVE OR TAPE | Live          |Live 3-6, tape|Live          |Tape
PHONE NUMBER | 1(800)94-STERN|1(702)792-2345|1(800)STERN-95|NONE
COMPETITION  |               |              |Brother Weas  |
             |               |              |(Alan Levin)  |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
STATE        | California    |New York      |Louisiana     |
CITY         | San Jose      |Buffalo       |New Orleans   |
START DATE   | 02/??/1993    |03/??/1993    |03/  /1993    |
CALLS        | KOME-FM       |WWKB-AM       |WRNO-FM       |
FREQUENCY    | 98.5          |1520          |99.5          |
START TIME   | 5:55 AM       |5:55 AM       |5:55 AM       |
END TIME     | After 10:00   |After 10:00   |After 10:00   |
LIVE OR TAPE | Tape          |Live          |Tape          |
PHONE NUMBER | 1(800)24-STERN|1(800)522-1520|1(800)46-STERN|
COMPETITION  | Alex Bennett  |              |              |
             |               |              |              |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

07.03  WHAT CITIES WILL GET HOWARD NEXT?
Thanks to Charles Kunz:
 Phoeniz, AZ       - very likely
 Fresno, CA        - not anytime soon
 Denver, CO        - how much longer?
 Hartford, CT      - been promising this one for months
 Miami, FL         - this should have happened weeks ago
 Minneapolis, MN   - this one is a maybe
 Atlanta, GA       - still waiting...
 Detroit, MI       - been promising this one for months, too
 Pittsburgh, PA    - how much longer?
 Providence, RI    - very likely
 Houston, TX       - very likely
 Seattle, WA       - how much longer?

07.04  HOW CAN I CONTACT HOWARD STERN?
Fax: 212-759-KFAX (5329)
Address:  Howard Stern Radio Show
          WXRK-FM (92.3 K-ROCK)
          600 Madison Avenue
          New York, NY 10022

07.05  WHY IS THE FCC AFTER HOWARD STERN?
The FCC original complaint concerned Bob and Ray.  These are characters
portrayed by Howard and Robin in deep voice.  They act like super macho
men, discussing tractor pulls, guns, sports and sexual prowess.  In one
conversation they discussed Shari Lewis' puppet Lamb Chop and the use of
such for sexual pleasure.  The second FCC complaint concerned Howard's
Christmas show when he mentioned Lesbians full of lust. (I don't know about
you but this has cause me to pillage, rape and plunder).


===== 08.00 =====    HOWARD STERN'S RADIO PROGRAM    =======================

08.01  HOW CAN I TAPE HOWARD STERN'S RADIO SHOW?
The best way is using a VCR.  A BETA 750 tape set at Beta III gives 4½ hours A
VHS T-120 gives a little over 6 hours set at SLP.  If you are using the usual
standard stereo receiver, there are output and input jacks in the back.
Normally they are labelled as VCR or TAPE jacks.  You need to connect a cabled
pair of RCA phono jacks from the TAPE OUT on back of the Receiver to the INPUT
in the back of the VCR.  Make sure (R)ight and (L)eft match.  Next you need to
connect another pair of RCA phono jacks to the TAPE IN on the receiver to the
OUTPUT on the VCR.  Next thing necessary is to set you VCR programmer to the
time of broadcast (in NYC that is 5:55 AM to 11:05 AM, weekdays).  95% of the
time 11:05 AM will give enough time to get the entire show but once or twice a
month Howard goes nuts and goes off later.  Make sure the program is set to
LINE, some older machines need you to throw a switch.  The tricky part is
getting your receiver to be on at those hours.  The easiest and costliest is
to just tune your receiver into to the correct station and leave it ON.
There are timers (even timers built-in to components) than can either turn you
receiver on or off or both.  I just leave it on.  There is no need to leave
the volume on, you can even turn off the speakers.  If everything is done
correct, you should record Stern or any radio program flawlessly
     To run a test to make sure the connections are correct, simply set your
receiver to any station, turn on your VCR (set to line) and press record.  You
can monitor the sound on your TV, or play it back and listen to it on the
radio (make sure to have the receiver set to line monitor (usually TAPE
MONITOR or VCR/TV).

08.02  WHAT DOES THE STUDIO LOOK LIKE?
This is definitely not drawn to scale.  The studio is quite
small, and this is just to give you an idea of what it looks like.
Stern sits with his back to the CDS and Records.  Fred, Jackie and Robin face
Howard.  The Guest(s) sit with their back to the cassette wall.

                     ___________________________________
                     |  CDS               RECORDS      |
                     |                              C  |
                     |      (STERN)                 A  |
                     |                           G  S  |
                     |      CONSOLE              U  S  |
                     |                           E  E  |
                     |  DESK            DESK     S  T  |
                     |                           T  T  |
                     |  (FRED)        (JACKIE)   S  E  |
                     |                                 |
                     |                              D  |
                     |                              O   \
                     |        TABLE                 O    \
                     |                              R  |
                     |-------------------------------- |
                     |     GLASS PARTITION             |
                     |-------------------------------- |
                     |                                 |
                     |        TABLE                    |
                     | D                               |
                   \   O      (ROBIN)                  |
                    \  O                               |
                     | R                               |
                     -----------------------------------

08.03  WHAT HAPPENS AT THE OPENING OF THE SHOW?
Fred Norris plays about 10 minutes of both Howard Stern bits and quotes/quips
for various media sources.  Howard is then introduced by a canned introduction
from one of his many TV appearances (Usually David Letterman, sometimes
Arsenio Hall or Dick Cavett).  A piano version of "In a Mellow Tone", is
played by Errol Gardner as Howard's theme music.   Howard will usually open up
with a short comment and take an immediate break.  When he returns, Howard
usually discusses what is planned for the program (much of which he doesn't
get to).  He then either take calls from listeners or plays phony calls from
Capt Janks, King of Messengers et al.

08.04  WHY DOES ROBIN SIT IN ANOTHER ROOM?
Many times, on the radio a guest will be surprised to see that Robin is in
a separate room.  The official reason for this is that Howard has a flatulent
problem, and Robin doesn't want to be subject to these odors.  However other
reasons suggested are that Robin needs to be away from the chatter to work on
her news section or that Robin has a paranoia of all the weirdos that come
into the studio.  However another thought might be that she is embarrassed
by her own hygiene problems, it seems she is always rushing off to the
bathroom.

08.05  WHO ARE THE WOMAN WHO LIKE HOWARD?
Beverly D'Angelo, Jessica Hahn, Stacy Galina, Joan Rivers, Tawny Kitaen

08.06  WHO ARE THE WOMAN WHO HATE HOWARD?
Roseanne Arnold, Elaine Boozler

08.07  WHO ARE THE MALE REGULAR GUESTS?
Steve Rossi, Richard Simmons, Gilbert Godfried, Grampa Al Lewis, Sam Kinison
Andrew Dice Clay, Leslie West, Dee Snider, Joe Walsh, Joe Piscopo, Pat Cooper

08.08  WHAT HOWARD STERN REGULARS DIED?
Froggy, Ted the Janitor, Sam Kinison

08.09  WHO DID HOWARD MAKE CRY?
Jessica Hahn - he told her, her belly button smelled
Judy Tenuta - said Roseanne Barr was better
Sally Kirkland - Won't let her be Ashley's godmother
Gilda Radner - annoyed her about her book (WNBC)
Richard Simmons - all the time

08.10  WHO ADVERTISES ON HOWARD STERN SHOW (PAST AND PRESENT)?
This in no way is complete, it just should spark memories of some of
his commercials.
Dial a Mattress, Try a Bed, Daniel Rogers, Nutra System, Snapple, Wiz, Mens
Hair Now, Car companies, Beanstalk, Subway, Poland Springs, Beanstalk,
Brother, Mystic, Jan & Craig Window Factory, Car dealers?, Bonsai trees,
Subway sandwiches, Grand Central Radio, E Vincent Luggage, Tom Calisino
Diamonds, Fortunoff, Chicagoland Coins,

08.11  WHY ARE THERE NO SPORTS, WEATHER OR TRAFFIC REPORTS?
Obviously, Howard likes to do all the talking and doesn't want to be
bothered with that.  He did have some interesting reporters though.
    SPORTS
Leonard Marshall (then of NY Giants) would call up giving NY Giant reports.
Howard questioned him mostly about his white wife which got Leonard so upset
that he stopped doing his report.  Eventually Leonard & his wife divorced.
Howard had to kiss Leonard's ass on his TV show when he bet him the Giants
won't win the Superbowl.
    WEATHER
For one week he hired Sukreet Gabel to do the Weather.  Sukreet is
the daughter of Judge Gabel who ruled on Bess Myerson (1945 Miss America/NYC
consumer affairs official) divorce which seemly overwhelmingly favoring Bess.
Bess got Sukreet a job (thus a scandal).  During Sukreet's 15 minutes of fame
Howard hired her. Sukreet was a strange one indeed, she took her name when
working in the Indian pavilion at the 1964 NY World's Fair.  She also had
shock therapy.
    TRAFFIC (SHADOW TRAFFIC)
Susan "Bezerkowitz" Berkley, was one of Howard's favorite.  Her father was
the creator/owner of Archie comics.  He drove her so nuts that she had two or
three nervous breakdowns.  She ended up getting out of the traffic business
and started a radio announcer school.  She appeared on the Joe Franklin show
in November, 1987).
   Candy Roth enjoyed the banter with Howard.  Howard preferred the conflict
rather than her ease with him.  So he rarely had her on. She got invited to
one of his on air Christmas parties. In a semi-confrontation, he told her she
was uninteresting and that is why she gets little air time.  She asked what
she could do to change that, so he told her to kiss a lesbian.  Although a
heterosexual, eager to please Howard, she did. This cost her job on other
radio stations (WYNY NYC) and of course Howard quickly lost interest in her
again.  She still works for Shadow Traffic.

08.12  WHATS SO SPECIAL ABOUT HOWARD'S BIRTHDAY SHOWS?
On about Jan 15th (Howard's Birthday) Gary and Robin surprise Howard with a
big birthday bash usually at Tavern on the Green.  There is always an all star
band (usually featuring Leslie West, Joe Walsh, Phoebe Snow, Turtles, etc).
The show is packed with celebrities and Sterns Family.  Sponsors shower Howard
with high cost (sometimes practical joke) gifts in appreciation for Howard's
efforts.  There are celebrity call-ins and the show is littered with
prepackaged taped birthday wishes

08.13  WHAT ARE THE SUPERBOWL PARTIES?
Every year for Superbowl Howard has a huge party complete with male bonding,
massage girls and food.  Originally they were held at Neal Drake's house.
Neal is a mutual friend of Robin and Howard and was an advertiser.  Now they
are held at motels in Long Island.

08.14  WHAT ARE THE FM-IES?
About once a year during Emmy time Howard awards FM-ies.  The FM-ies show(s)
are highlighted with production numbers and phone calls from winners.

08.15  WHAT IS ONE QUESTION AND ONE QUESTION ONLY?
1 question & 1 question only, is exactly what it says.  Howard picks up the
phone and only allows the called to ask one quick question.  He answers it and
then continues with the next caller.

08.16  WHAT IS DIAL-A-DATE?
Howard usually does this on irregular Fridays.  Howard has a guest in the
studio and then takes phone calls until he finds 3 eligible people for dates.
The date sometimes has a theme (Lesbians, Virgins, etc).  Fred Norris met his
girlfriend through a Dial-a-Date.

08.17  WHO ARE OUT OF THE CLOSET STERN & BLACKSWELL?
Out of the Closet Stern (Howard) & Blackswell (Fred) are gay characters.  They
usually do a "Whatever Happened to . . ." interview.  Their classic interview
was with Dick York, comparing him to Dick Sargent on Bewitched.  The obvious
"Dick" jokes were flowing.  Another thing they would do is cover parades,
especially the gay parades.  Another routine was the "Homo Room."  There
favorite person to bring down there was Bob Wah, a good looking overnight DJ
for WXRK.  Bob left the station for another job, and they rarely use the Homo
Room since.

08.18  WHO IS MAMA LOOK A BOOBOO DAY?
This is a black traffic reporter played by Howard,  He created the character
back in Washington.  He still gets occasional use out of it.

08.19  WHO IS YELLING "SHUT UP! SIT DOWN!?"
One of the most priceless moments from the Stern show was when Howard brought
in tapes from 1962 recorded by his father.  Howard's father Ben ran a radio
production studio.  One weekend he brought the entire family into Manhattan to
record.  The entire tape is funny from Ben testing the equipment (Green light
tube) to the interview portion (We don't want the Japs anymore) to Ben
singing Old Man River.  The highlight came when 8 year old Howard wore his
father's nerves so thin, that he yelled "Shut up! Sit Down!"

08.20  WHAT ARE THE FUNERALS?
When Howard goes to number one in the market he holds a funeral.  He goes to
the area (so far Phila and LA) and buries the competition, with a parade and
stage show.


===== 09.00 =====    HOWARD GROUPIES AND OTHERS    =========================

09.01  WHAT ARE THE HOWARD STERN CALLERS?
These are calls in which a program that is taking phone calls will get
a caller that just yells HOWARD STERN.  This has evolved into everything
from camouflaging his name (How would you Stern a ...), to long winded
good questions that end with the name Howard Stern, to mentioning the
cast (Baba Booey, Calling from Martling NJ, etc).  Captain Janks a
rather diminutive listener in Philadelphia is considered to be the
originator and perhaps best of this type calls.  Usually Stern will play
some of these calls in the 1st hour of his show.  Other top callers are
king of subpoenas & king of vcrs (who works for Alice Cooper).  The usual
victims are Fox's STREET TALK, LARRY KING SHOW, PHIL DONAHUE SHOW, CNBC,
HOME SHOPPER'S NETWORK.   Some of the classics were a call to the
Jerry Lewis telethon, to Ross Perot on the TODAY SHOW, to John D'Bello,
NBC news during the World Trade Center disaster.  This was even parodied on
Gary Shandlings HBO "Larry Sanders Show."  Larry's co-host Hank was hawking
the "Hankerciser" on a shopper's network.  They get a call where someone askes
if it would work on Howard Stern's ass.

09.01a ...AND WHO ARE SOME OF CALLERS TO THE HOWARD STERN SHOW?
Many times they are randomly selected by Howard while on the air.  Sometimes
Gary or the other interns screen calls.  Other times, Howard will call people
who send him letters.  At one point Howard spun a wheel to decide from which
market to take a call.  There are a few who become regular callers, mostly
those of the Captain Janks ilk, who was discussed above.  Some of the more
famous include Jerry who will be discussed in the next paragraph.  One guy
referred to himself as "the caller" and would actually mention the amount of
times he has called.  Chauncey of "Stepping Out" magazine is another caller.
For a while Howard was getting a caller who would just say "Gotta Go, Bye!"
and hang up.  After a while Howard started using that for his commercial in
"Gotta Go Buy Crucified by the FCC"

09.02  WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN HOWARD STERN AND BON JOVI?
When Bon Jovi was just breaking in, Howard took a quick liking to them.  He
had featured them on his NBC show.  However when Bon Jovi hit big, they not
only went on his competition but snubbed Howard.  Howard of cause didn't like
this and started a feud with them.  Sam Kinison acting as peace maker,
promised to bring Richie Sambora and Jon Bon Jovi on the Stern Show.  Howard
hawked this and publicized it for days.  However, when the day cam for their
appearance both Sam Kinison and Bon Jovi stood up Howard.  Howard was again
pissed and eventually made up with Kinison.  Robin surprised Howard during his
1992 Birthday show with an appearance of Bon Jovi.

09.03  IS HOWARD REALLY MAD AT RICHARD SIMMONS?
This is somewhat complex and is changeable.  Howard credits himself with
reviving Richard Simmon's career.  He claims to have made him very marketable
and a sought after guest.  Richard and Howard did become real chummy as
Richard would visit Howard's house often.  Richard would shower Stern's family
with lavish gifts (Designer Barbie Dolls, etc).  Richard would constantly
offer to take Howard and Robin to dinner and plays.  Robin went to see Legs
Diamond with Robin.  Whenever Richard was on the show, something would happen
that would cause Richard to storm out crying (usually Howard insulting one of
Richard's "Fat" clients).  Howard would call Richard and half-heartily
apologize and Richard would be back.  Howard spoke of the time that Alison had
a miscarriage prior to Ashley's birth, and that Richard called them and cried
more than they had.  Richard even picked out the name Ashley for the baby.
The major blow out came when Howard promised Richard he would go to "Prince of
Tides" with him.  Richard flew into NY but Howard had stood him up.  Since
then there friendship has been strained.

09.04  WHAT IS THE WHACK PACK?
The whack pack is made up of fans who were on Howard Sterns radio show and
became friends.  BECKY THE MENTAL PATIENT.  Becky claims to have
multiple personalities and sometimes uses the name Denise.  She also claims
that a stuffed monkey is her son.  She is a stand-up comedienne. Becky
appeared on The Negligee & Underpants party.  CELESTE, a
middle-aged woman who drags her leg.  Howard was quite pissed when she
tracked him down to his house and trick or treated,  Celeste offered to sleep
with Fred the Elephant boy to end his virginity but Fred declined.  Celeste
appeared on a Joan Rivers show with Howard.  SIOBAHN THE TRANSSEXUAL, who's
real name is Bill.  Siobahn was invited to Jackie's 4th of July party, went
into his office and copied down Howard's home address and phone number.  CRAZY
JERRY, who introduced us to GINA GIRL and GINA MAN.  Jerry and Gina man are
seen on the Open Sores video.  RACHEL THE SPANKER winds up the group.  She
also can be seen on the Open Sores video.

09.04a WHAT IS THE NOT-SO WHACK PACK?
KEVIN THE NEWSLETTER GUY, CAPTAIN JANKS, QUENTIN THE STUTTERER and FRED THE
ELEPHANT BOY.  Janks & Fred were seen on Butt Bongo Fiesta. Fred & Quentin
appeared on Stern's TV show and Quentin appeared on the Negligee and
Underpants party.

09.05  WHO IS CRAZY JERRY, GINA-GIRL AND GINA-MAN?
Jerry's inherited his family's liquor store, which he sold and retired. He use
to call Howard quite frequently and his schtict was to overload Howard with
compliments.  Whatever Howard did was the greatest thing ever.  Jerry, found
a mentally disabled woman and brought her on to Howard's Show.  She had a
weird speech impediment and did what she called the Gina-Dance (Gina pronounced
as in Vagina).  She talked of her "Mini" skirt and her love for Tom Fruise
(Cruise).  Within weeks her guardian found out about this and ordered that
Howard no longer have her on the show, which Howard reluctantly had to
accept.  Jerry went out and found a postal worker who also had mental
problems.  He was called Gina man, and basically at Jerry's prompting he
would yell out non-sequiturs, most famous being "This is Mother Theresa
speaking from the bed, God don't want me yet, I got more feet to taste."
Jerry and Gina Man can be seen on the open sores tape.  Jerry has since,
retired to Florida.

09.06  WHO IS THE MAD RUSSIAN?
He is a cab driver and free lance reporter.  He does the stuttering John type
interview (perhaps a bit more hostile) and sends the results to Howard.

09.07  WHO IS "MELROSE" LARRY GREEN?
"Melrose" Larry Green is an accountant based in California.  He is a one-man
publicity stunt for Howard.  He walks up and down Melrose Blvd with a sandwich
board proclaiming Howard for President.

09.08  WHO IS CHAUNCY?
Chauncy is a publisher/writer for Stepping Out Magazine, a free-be given out
at supermarkets.  Chauncy is a big fan of Howard.

09.09  WHO IS DR. MARSHALL KING?
Dr. King is a hypnotist who has appeared on Howard's radio and TV program and
Open Sores.  He hypnotizes women to fall in love with Howard.

09.10  WHO IS DANIEL CARVER?
Daniel Carver is a spokesman for the KKK.  Howard calls his tape announcement
and plays it over the air.  Daniel was featured on the TV show and Butt Bongo
Fiesta.

09.11  WHO IS UNDERDOG LADY?
Susan Muldowney who appears only on his WWOR TV Show, performs as Underdog
Lady.  She is very serious about the character underdog and seems determined
to uphold the integrity of underdog.  Her dedication, commitment and
seriousness about the underdog character is what sparks interest.

09.12  WHO IS STEVE O?
Steve O is a comedian who beat Jackie Martling on Star Search.  I use to see
him at the Ground Round on Central Avenue, Yonkers NY.  Once I was eating
dinner at Edo's Japanese Hibachi restaurant in Pelham Manor NY.  You
know the Beni-Hana type where they fill up the table with up to 8 people.
After talking to him for several moments, he had informed me in a polite
way that he really didn't enjoy discussing comedy, but he and his girlfriend
were quite friendly.  He did say he does not like to work dirty.  Very
interesting trivia was the week before he beat Jackie he beat Martin Lawrence
to become champ.

09.13  WHO IS ELAN GOLD?
Elan is a comedian who lives in the Bronx.  He appears on MTV and according to
Howard does the best imitation of Howard Stern.  Elan has appeared on the
Stern Show but did not fool anyone.  He is pretty close but has a higher pitch
when compared directly to Howard.

09.14  WHO IS IRA ZIMMERMAN?
He has been on the Stern show a few times, upset that Howard abuses
stutterers.  He is the head of a stuttering group (membership unknown).  He
has been harassing prodigy members with his anti-stern rhetoric.


===== 10.00 =====    HOWARD ON TV    =======================================

10.01  WHEN WAS HOWARD ON LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID LETTERMAN?
The 1st mention of Howard Stern came in early 1984.  David decided to tap
into the NBC complaint line and take calls.  Being that Dave records at
around 5:30, and that Howard's radio program was on at that time, can we
guess what most of the complaints were about?  Dave whether genuine or not
had little or no knowledge about Howard, but the audience seemed to howl
with every mention.  Dave thought it might be interesting to get Howard on.
(This in no way pretends to be complete, but feature 16 appearance - any help
out there?)
???, 1984     Howard's 1st appearance
July, 1984    Howard discusses his July, 1984 Qui Magazine pictorial, and an
              NBC TV pilot to be shot in Aug, 1984 & his manager Steve Rossi
July 1986     Howard now on WXRK, talks about Imus & Soupy & his new
              syndicated radio show, He discusses his pictorial in the Sept
              1986 Penthouse and being simulcast WYSP in Phila & bestiality
Oct, 1987     Howard talks about Fox TV, Jessica Hahn, Bork's nomination to the
              Supreme Court, his Jewish nose & the vodka gift for Imus
Feb, 1988     Howard promotes his pay per view show & Cosmopolitan mag
Aug, 1988     Howard discusses his VHS tape of the Negligee & Underpants
              Party and the taping of Hollywood Squares
Oct 4, 1988   Howard Stern talks to Jack Bruce, discusses going on in Wash DC
Apr 25, 1990  Howard Stern, John Chancellor, Pat Methany
              Howard plans the Philly Funeral for John D'Bella on May 11, 1990
              He talks about Mrs David Letterman and his upcoming Summer Show
              (lesbians), Howard offers to comb Dave's hair with his left foot
Jul 16, 1990A Howard discusses Dave's studio temp at 55°F & Frank Gannon,
              He also talks about Mrs David Letterman & Edgar Rosenberg
Nov 8, 1990   Howard discusses Dave's appearance on Larry King's NBC Show,
              Joan Rivers & Roseanne Barr,
Jan 15, 1991  Howard celebrates his Birthday & again talks about the 55°F
              temperature of the studio and see his father naked,
May 21, 1991  Howard pokes fun at Morty, Hooker Family Feud, Raping in the
              night, and hawks Crucified by FCC
Sept 12, 1991 Howard resigns from Dave's show because Dave had Don Imus as
              a guest, He also talks about Mark & Brian, then hugs Dave
July, 1992    Howard in Superman T-shirt. Howard talks of Dave's
              negotiations, Dave's lunch with Johnny Carson, and
              lusting for Sharon Stone
Sept. 2, 1992 Howard talks about Sharon Stone
        1992  Howard Stern (1992 Top Ten French Truck drivers)
Oct 28, 1992  Howard Stern, Ron Wood & Marv Albert, Julia Roberts
              Howard ponders Dave's future with NBC, He promotes his E! Show
              and Butt Bongo Fiesta

10.02  WHEN WAS HOWARD/ROBIN ON JOAN RIVERS SHOW?
Nov 4, 1990  Howard gets Angie Bowie to reveal that David Bowie and
             Mick Jagger were lovers.
July, 1990   Howard is on for most of the show, he meets Mr Gay America
             Brandy Alexander
July, 1991   Robin Quivers is on along with Howie Mandel, she speaks about
             her breast reduction, lost 35 lbs., dating Penn Jillete.
             Joan arranges a date for Robin with soap star Michael Swan
1991/1992    Howard appears on her show
Nov(?), 1992 Howard appears on her show
Dec, 1992    Robin appears on 2nd annual sexiest man of the Year contest
             other judges include Stacy Galina, Rhonda Shear, Denny Dillon

10.03  WHAT IS HOWARD STERN'S FOX CONNECTION?
Fox executives were grooming Howard Stern to replace Joan Rivers on her late
show.  When this didn't go, in May 1987, they gave him a 5 pilot show deal.
Howard's band leader was Leslie West.  Some of his guests included Steve Rossi
and Jackie Mason.  Fox refused to air the shows saying they just weren't any
good.  Howard claims that owner Rupert Murdoch canned the shows as a favor to
NY's John "Cardinal" O'Connor also siting his FCC problems. In Sept. 1987,
Howard appears on FOX's LATE SHOW WITH ARSENIO HALL, (this is when Arsenio was
the (oxymoron alert) permanent guest host, prior to his own late night show).
Howard claimed FOX killed Edgar Rosenberg. Edgar was Joan River's husband who
committed suicide shortly after Joan's Fox show was cancelled. Howard was very
argumentative and during a commercial he was escorted out of the building.
This caused a feud between Howard and Arsenio. He was later asked to appear on
the FOX NY morning show GOOD DAY NEW YORK. He agreed with the understanding
that he can make statements against Rupert Murdoch and other uncensored
statements.  On approx. Feb 7, 1989 their roving reporter Gordon Elliot came
into the studio's live.  Howard & crew wore T-shirts & had signs saying "FOX
SUCKS" Recently Howard had a run in with NY FOX's correspondent Penny Crone.
She is featured on FOX's STREET TALK and has been deluged with Howard Stern
calls especially by the King of Messengers.

10.04  WHAT IS HOWARD STERN'S CONNECTION WITH MTV?
Well actually Boy Gary seems to have the bigger connection here.  Boy Gary
actually tested to be a Vee-Jay.  Howard has a copy of this and plays it every
so often (Gary screws up on the word Bousterre (sp) and tells Dweezil to step
back).  Gary also worked for a month or two as a consultant on an MTV game
show.   MTV thanksgiving weekend of November 1987 was hosted by Howard with
Boy Gary dressed in a turkey suit. Howard Stern appeared as Fartman on MTV
Awards on Sept. 9, 1992

10.05  WHAT IS HOWARD STERN'S CONNECTION WITH HARD COPY?
Hard Copy has run two of the most hysterical pieces on Howard Stern and his
competition.  Howard is seen as a great evil, while his competitors are seen as
nice guys.  On Oct 2, 1992, Howard vs Phila's John D'Bello.  In April 1993, a
similar peace but this time with Brother Weas (Alan Levin) in Rochester.

10.06 WHAT OTHER SHOWS HAVE FEATURE HOWARD AS A GUEST?
       Howard appeared on the very last Nightlife with David Brenner (May,
1987) Talks about Fox show, raps with Billy Preston & Dan Ingram, He did a
scene with David Brenner's girlfriend Victoria Campbell wearing bikinis.  At
the end of the show David brings out his entire production staff including
Mitch Fertel (former Stern intern).
       Howard appeared on Jay Leno's Tonight Show (Jul 24, 1992),  Along with
Howard were Lyle Lovett & Anne Marie Johnson.  Howard stole the show.
       Howard appeared on Later with Tom Snyder (Mar, 1991) - definitely the
most wild and ridiculous half hour of TV.  Howard came on to plug Crucified by
the FCC, but got into an argument with Tom.  Some of the better moments were
when Tom called Howard's daughter Emily, Evelyn.  When Tom accused Howard of
causing stalkers like the one who kill Rebecca Shaefer. ...and the tickling
match.
       Howard appeared on a local "Live at Five" (7-10-90A) interview with
news anchor Sue Simmons.
       Howard has appeared on Dick Cavett's CNBC interview show.

10.07  WHAT SHOWS HAVE MENTIONED HOWARD STERN?
Herman's Head (Lita Ford)
Larry Sanders Show
In Living Color - Adventures of Handiman (...every hearing aid will
                  share a radio frequency with Howard Stern)
Northern Exposure
Beverly Hills 90210
Amy Fisher movie - Joey Buttafucco talks to Howard and Robin
Jay Leno's Tonight Show - Roseanne Barr spoke of Howard Sterning of America
Night Games (July, 1992) Contestant's 3 best friends interview 3 people
                         to find the best partner for their date
           Jeff Marder is the host
           Robert, Wayne & Steve for contestant Jeff interview Shevone
    Shevone a 25 year old
    Robert: Do you live in L.A. now?
    Shevone: Um, L.A. county
    Robert: Do you listen to Mark & Brian, Kevin & Bean or Howard Stern in
            the morning?
    Jeff Marder:  That will play well in NY, Robert, thanks
    Shevone: Probably Kevin and Bean.  Howard Stern he's a little too shocking
    Wayne: a little too arrogant?
    Robert: Definitely play well in New York
    Shevone: He is just shocking, some of the things he comes up with, is just,
             you know, I like Kevin and Bean.
    Jeff Marder, You know, he is a Mormon too, which is really frightening
    Shevone: He is a Mormon?
    Jeff Marder ... unbelievable.
    Shevone: Yes

10.08  WHAT IS HOWARD STERN'S WRESTLING CONNECTION?
WCW wrestling began programing on local WCBS TV in NYC.  To give the show
a NYC flavor the announcers would constantly drop in local icons, among which
Howard Stern was mentioned many times.  Howard's regular Fred the Elephant Boy
is a wrestling fanatic and good friend to wrestler Cactus Jack.  Howard
reluctantly allowed Cactus Jack on the show.

10.09  WAS HOWARD EVER ON A GAME SHOW?
Yes, Howard appeared for a week on Hollywood Squares, he replaced Shadoe
Stevens. Shadoe relinquished his announcing and square duties to replace
Jon Davidson as host.  This was taped in June 1988
Hollywood Squares - Shadoe Stevens host
Glenn Campbell          Edie McClurg        Ross Shafer
Princess Zsa Zsa        Jm J Bulloch        Leslie Easterbrook
Michael Winslow         Howard Stern        Joyce Brothers

MONDAY
Contestant Bonnie mistakenly calls him Michael Stern
Shadoe: Nothing lays a bigger egg than what?
Howard: Fox network,  - Duck Billed Platypus
Bonnie: Disagree
Shadoe: The answer is ostrich

Shadoe: You are an animal with no heart and no head, when you are touched
        you do not react.  What are you?
Howard: Jimmy Swaggart or the other guy with Jessica Hahn, Jellyfish
Steven: Agree
Shadoe: It is a sponge

TUESDAY
Shadoe:    It's inscribed on a statue that stands on the midst of a NYC
           landmark, It reads Let us beat swords into plow shares, Where is it?
Howard:    Probably just below Jm J Bulloch's belt buckle;
           At the statue of Liberty
Katherine: Disagree
Shadoe:    The UN

WEDNESDAY
Not called on

THURSDAY
Not called on
But was the lucky celebrity (contestant won car)

FRIDAY
Shadoe: Who is the higher paid Mayor, Ed Koch of NY, Tom Bradley of LA
        or Kathy Whitmore of Houston?
Howard: Mayor Koch
Nate:   Disagree
Shadoe: Mayor Koch
(Howard made a censored comment that Why would Koch need money he doesn't
 go on dates)

10.09a HAS ROBIN EVER APPEARED ON A GAME SHOW
Robin appeared in Mar, 1993 on Scattergories hosted by Dick Clark.  The
four other guests were Adam West, Betty White, Mark DeCarlo & Nicole Eggert.
There were jokes about Batman and Robin.

10.10  WHAT TV SERIES DID HOWARD STERN HOST?
5 pilots for Fox filmed in May, 1987 - Never shown on TV - Fox owns them
Howard Stern's Negligee and Underpants Party on Pay-Per-View on Feb 27, 1988
Howard Stern's Summer Show" premiers on WWOR-TV on July 14, 1990 (4 Shows)
Howard Stern's TV Show - (Extension of Summer Show) on August 11, 1990 (65)
Howard Stern Interview on E! Network premiered on Nov 27, 1992

10.11  WHERE CAN I GET A GUIDE TO HOWARD STERNS WWOR SHOW?
I have uploaded a personally written guide to Internet.  I am sure other or
myself can resubmit it on request.  There were 69 shows in total.

10.12  WHO HAS HOWARD INTERVIEWED ON E!?
[Help is needed here, I think he sign for 57 shows]
Moon Zappa, Bon Jovi, Andrew Dice Clay, Mario Van Peebles, Zsa Zsa Gabor,
Donald Trump, James Brown, Joan Rivers, Susan Vega, Don King, Dick Cavett


===== 11.00 =====    FAN CLUBS    ==========================================

11.01  IS THERE A HOWARD STERN FAN CLUB?
Paul Richards ([e-mail]) writes:
There is a quarterly publication, "The King of All Media Newsletter"
published by a NJ fan, Kevin Renzulli.  In June 1993 it celebrated its
fourth anniversary.  It contains articles on the show and its personalities,
pictures, and a "Daily Digest" listing highlights of each day's show.
The June 93 issue includes exclusive photos of Fred the Elephant Boy's
"Buffalo Date with an Angel".  A Sample issue is $3.50, check made out to
Kevin Renzulli. For subscription information call 201 228 KING or write The
King of All Media Newsletter, 627 Eagle Rock Ave.Suite 69, West Orange NJ
07052."

[BTG Note - Kevin also wrote the booklet for "Crucified by the FCC."  However
it should be noted that Howard took legal action against Kevin for advertising
his Newsletter.  Howard didn't want his name appearing in ads, that might make
some think he endorses the product. Howard is very protective of his name, but
considering that Howard has used Kevin on many occasions, one might think he
could go a little lighter on him.  BTW sample issues are free, just a
Stamped Self Addressed with $.52 postage is required]

11.02  ARE CAPTAIN JANKS PHONY PHONE CALLS AVAILABLE?
Paul Richards ([e-mail]) writes:
(This comes from the KOAM newsletter) Yes, Captain Janks has issued
three "Scams O'Plenty" tapes. Volume III, the Final Chapter is currently
available.  The 90 minute tape sells for $13 ($10 + $3 p+h) and
is available only in these forms: cash, or a check or money order made
out to CASH.  He seems to want you to use the coupon in the kOAM news
letter.  You order it through the address above, but suite # is 169.
"For more info and a sample janks call, call 201 228 KING."

[BTG note: I personally find Janks more annoying than funny.  Janks can be
seen dating Annette D'Bella in Butt Bongo Fiesta]

11.03  WHAT IS THE AFA JOURNAL?
You may have heard Howard speak of Rev Donald Wildmon.  He publishes
a "Christian" newsletter.  The newsletter runs about 24 pages and is chocked
full of all the nasty things that the media does (including Howard Stern).  A
look at the May, 1993 issue features "Donahue wants to show a live execution"
and "Pepsi, NBC bring pro-homosexual show" (that was about Seinfeld).  It
tells you all the bad things TV/Radio/Media does to you and list top
advertisers with phone numbers for each program it lambastes.  Subscriptions
are $15 per year or if you have a group of 10, it is $4 per subscription
($40 total), or if you like a single issue you can get 50 copies of 1 issue
for $12.50.    Address is AFA Journal, P.O. Drawer 2440, Tupelo Mississippi
38803.  AFA stands for American Family Association.

[BTG note:  This is a newsletter for weak minded people who like to throw
stones while hiding behind God.  IT is quite funny reading, though!]

11.04  ARE THERE ANY OTHER HOWARD STERN CLUBS?
[e-mail] found this on Prodigy
Derek Ipaktchian
National Stern Project
P.O. Box 570801
Tarzana, CA  91357
814-594-7016

11.05  WHAT MAGAZINES DID STORIES ON HOWARD?
Rolling Stone
Esquire - "I Hate Myself"
Penthouse Magazine (Sept, 1986) - Pictorial
Penthouse Magazine (Sept 1992) "Howard Stern's Small Penis" Pgs 82-94
                  By Marvin Kitman

11.05a WHAT MAGAZINES DID STORIES ON ROBIN?
People Magazine (April 5, 1993) "Stern Adviser" Pgs 103-105
                By Tom Gliatto & Sabrina MacFarland

11.06 ARE THERE ANY HOWARD STERN BBS?
Yes and No.  There is a Jackie the Jokeman BBS.  It is located in NJ and
updates you are Jackie and Nancy.  It contains bulletins, GIF pictures and
mail concerning Jackie and the Howard Stern Show.
JACKIE THE JOKEMAN BBS   (IBM PCB 14.4K N-8-1) in New Jersey
1(908) 591-2673   1(908) 679-1413

Another BBS that features some stuff of interest to Howard Stern fans is
located in New York City.  It is mostly concerned with the media including
regular updated bulletins about what is happening in the entertainment field.
The Downloads are keyed mostly to GIFs including many Jessica Hahn and even
the cover of Butt Bongo Fiesta.
MOVIE BBS   (IBM PCB 14.4K N-8-1) in New York City
1(718) 939-5462 (will hunt) 939-5502  939-5505

Gary Dell'abate is on Prodigy under an assumed name

===== 12.00 =====    MERCHANDISE    ========================================

12.01  WHAT HOWARD STERN PRODUCTS ARE THERE?
50 Ways to Rank Your Mother (1980? - Record)
Pay per view Negligee & Underpants party (Feb 27, 1988 - VHS) $24.95
U.S. Open Sores- (Sept. 30, 1989 - VHS)
Crucified by the FCC (1991 - cassettes or CDs)
Butt Bongo Fiesta (1992 - VHS)
Untitled ("My Book" or "Howard Stern's Private Parts") Book due in Sept 1993

12.01a PAY PER VIEW NEGLIGEE & UNDERPANTS PARTY
Pay Per View Feb 27. 1988 $19.95 ($14.95 - club) (2½ hours)
VHS - $24.95

Quentin the Stutterer
Craig (of the window factory's) 40th birthday
Elton John Song - FCC rally
Howie joins the show
Howard introduces Shiobahn (Bill) the transsexual
Disrobing
Julie Brown outside - people trying to get in
The itinerary
Introduces Robin Quivers (wearing a tiara)
Howard talks to the audience - Shiobahn (Bill), guy kisses him
Lesbian Dial-A-Date (212-355-6858)
        Alexas Firestone, Jennifer DeLon
        Alison calls in, Amy beats Claudio & 35 year old man
Geraldo exercising
Leslie West - Mississippi Queen
Gay Untouchables
Becky the Mental Patient (Denise)
Vinny Mazzeo lights penis on fire
Penn & Teller
Telephone Calls
Howard discusses Penn & Teller's tricks
Dance party segment with Scott (Borneo - Club 240)
Richard Belzer, Judy Tenuda and Emo Phillips
Steve O vs. Jackie
        Steve   Jackie
Emo       4       5
Judy      3.5     3.75
Richard   4.3     4.9
Total    11.8    13.65
Moon Unit & Dweezil Zappa
Bum Make over - Mitch the intern Fertel & Anthony Bartol (homeless)
                Anthony is give a supermarket sweep ($70.10) & given $500
Jessica Hahn & Doug the Dwarf
Howard Dances with Jessica (Minor Emergency)
Kurt Waldheim, Jr.
Guess Who's the Jew - Authors
Tennessee Williams, Arthur Miller, Kurt Vonnegut , jr.,.
Jessica guesses correctly Arthur Miller
Steve Rossi sings "Vehicle" as sprayed with Silly String
Underpants Party Credits:
  Richard Belzer
  Julie Brown
  Jennifer DeLon
  Alexas Firestone
  Penn Gillete (sic - Jillete)
  Jessica Hahn
  Andy Matola
  Steve O
  Emo Phillips
  Charles Randolph
  Steve Rossi
  Teller
  Judy Tenuta
  Omer Travers
  Leslie West
  Dweezil Zappa
  Moon Zappa
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pay per view Negligee & Underpants party
Pay Per View Feb 27. 1988 $19.95 ($14.95 - club) (2½ hours)
VHS - $24.95 (1½ hours)

Besides the editing (I recall Leslie West upset by shortening his song)
three segments were completely cut:
        Julie Brown
        Howard discussion of Penn & Teller's tricks
        Moon Unit & Dweezil Zappa

Added
Some back stage stuff at the beginning and end
Dr Randall remove Gary's old caps and replaced
Discussing Vinny setting his penis on fire

12.01b U.S. OPEN SORES
Sept. 30, 1989
Ron Delsener Production - $22.50 ticket
Howard Stern's office meeting - Telephone call to Jessica Hahn
Ball Girl tryouts on the radio (Shelli)
Pre game activities - Ball Girls,  Ronnie, Leslie West, Grampa Al, Don Buckwald
Back stage - Alison Stern, John Melendez, Darren the Footlicker,
             Fred's girlfriend Allison, Nancy Sirianni
Jackie warms up the crowd
Celestine - national anthem
Rachel the Spanker
Marshall King hypnotizes Jessica Hahn & Kimberly Taylor
Kurt Waldheim, Jr. & Anne Frank

Match 1
Darren the Footlicker vs. Robin Quivers - Robin wins 2 games to 1
Announcer - Quentin the Stutterer
Color - Stern & Waldheim (Norris) color
Ball Boys - one legged guy (Stumpy) and guy in wheelchair (Mega-Man)

Ball Girl dressing room & some backstage stuff

Match 2
Howard vs. Gary - Gary wins 4 games to 2
Announcer - Fred the Elephant Boy
Color - Robin & Grandpa Al
Ball Girls

Poor sportsmanship
Sam Kinison introduces Maleeka, makeup against Dice
Sukhreet Gabel
Judy Carne

Vinnie Mazzeo, Jr.
Kimberly Taylor
Dr King & Kimberly Taylor
Gina Man & Crazy Jerry
Back stage - Jessica, Sam & Ronnie the Limo driver
Jessica Hahn & Sam Kinison battle
Wild Thing - Leslie West, Sam Kinison, Maleeka & Sabrina,

After the show
Ben and Ray Stern + Ellen
Vinnie D'Amico
Grand prize winners
Ted the Janitor
Pig Vomit - Tim Curtin
Rachel the Spanker bronskees Gina Man
Jessica Hahn
Kimberly Taylor
Howard & Sam discuss movie deal

Credits - oil wrestling

12.01c CRUCIFIED BY THE FCC
1991
Anti Censorship Rally
Celebrities
Sex Phone/Viper
Christmas Party
Phony Phone Calls
Various Bits remembered I
Bob 'n Ray
Fartman

Out of the Closet Movies
Various Bits remembered II
Sam and Jessica
Stern Family
Gynecologist

12.01d BUTT BONGO FIESTA
1982
Fred the Elephant Boy reads viewer discretion notice
Stuttering John
Tempest removes her top
What do you want to see?
Jackie's Belly Button
Jungle Man & Adv of Big Naked Sloppy Titty Women in 3D (with Jessica Hahn)
Phila Funeral - Bus trip, Jackie moons, John jumps into Jessica's bath,
                Planning Meeting, Funeral, Capt Janks dates Annette D'Bello
Guess Who's the Jew
      KKK guy Daniel Carver rates ethnic groups
            Eskimos-Chinks-Gooks-Mexicans-Mullattos-Niggers-Gays-Kikes
      Guess Whos the Jew? Joyce Brothers, Sally Kirkland or  Belinda Carlisle
      Marie Bronson-Carlisle, Daniel Carver-Kirkland, Kurt Waldheim Jr-Brothers
Kim barks like a dog
Tribute to the Vagina - Stuttering John interviews about vagina
                        Pick Your Partner's Vagina
                        Production number
Robins breasts
Lesbian Love Connection
Leetha Weapons kisses Elephant Boy
Pranks - legs under car, rabbit humping a balloon, pick nose with tongue
         mouse on back, farts out of bed, pregnant nude dancing,
Howard Estern's Butt Bongo
Extra stuff - Gary's booga, Elephant Shit, Kim's dog bark, Pierced tongue
              Elastic girl, Howard tap dancing

Jokes in credits - Lottery numbers
                   Accounting - Phil Theejew (filthy jew)
                   Dental Costs
                   Sports scores
                   Personal Ad
For a transcript of this tape, play it again and type like a motherfucker


===== 13.00 =====    COPY CATS    ==========================================

13.01  DOES HOWARD ALSO RIPS OFF?
Although Howard loves to rant and rave about how everyone steals his act,
even that to has been done.  There are many comedians who claim that others
have stole their act (Milton Berle was accused of this many times in the
'40s).  "Best of Stern" and Sternac are Johnny Carson mainstays.

13.02  DID HOWARD REALLY CREATE FARTMAN?
No! Fartman is a character created by National Lampoon. In fact Fartman's
theme song on the show is the National Lampoon's version.

13.03  WHAT IS THE ORIGINS OF BUTT BONGO?
Howard was ranting and raving about how everyone steals his bits.  He was
reading an article about a radio station in Maine that did Butt Bongo.  Howard
is keen on spanking girls and when he read about it, he said it was time he
stole something from someone else.  Not only did he take the bit, but using
creative history is now crediting himself with inventing it.

===== 14.00 =====    SONGS AND BITS    =====================================

14.01  WHAT IS THE SONG ELTON JOHN SINGS ABOUT HOWARD?
For a few weeks Howard had a national syndicated radio show (circa 1985).
He wrote a parody for his guest Elton John to sing.  Elton being very
magnanimous, wrote original music for the words, sung the song and gave it
to Howard as a gift.

14.01a  WHAT ARE THE WORDS TO THE SONG ELTON JOHN SINGS ABOUT HOWARD?
There's a man, who has a small penis
and in high school he was beaten up by blacks and whites
Oh, he's admired by white trash and the media
He could have girls but he is faithful to his wife
Howard Stern is better than Johnny Carson
He's kept it in his pants
. . . and he never left his wife
He don't have Ed to sit beside him and kiss his butt
Oprah Winfrey's Fat
Phil Donahue just take a hike
Why Won't they let Howard Stern on TV?
Although I spin the dial I can get no relief
There's all the crap on ABC, CBS, NBC
There are those everywhere
Why aren't you Howie baby, Howard Stern,
Why isn't Howard Stern on . . .
Why isn't Howard Stern on TV?

14.02  WHAT ARE THE WORDS TO SEINFELD TEEN?
Thanks to [e-mail]
(Sung to the tune, "At Seventeen" by Janis Ian.)
1st performed June 25, 1993 - Sung by Howard Stern & Janis Ian

"A Seinfeld Teen"

Seinfeld's girl is seventeen
An innocent with double-Ds
He saw those breasts and flipped his lid
For a real young busty high school kid
A horny, lonely TV geek
Her major jugs made Jerry week
Can't he find girls his age to date
She's seventeen and she's jailbait

He takes her out in New York town
That lovely girl and the TV clown
She barely shed her training bra
She kisses lips for candy bars
Some nice guy you turned out to be
Did she sit upon your knee
You shouldn't really grope for them
At seventeen

Her panties smell like a rose
Is Seinfeld just like Piscopo
Seducing girls in a limousine
While his fans think that he's so damn clean
Fell for an old man from TV
Did her pubic hair grow in last week
With fresh and firm and round butt cheeks
At seventeen

Can't he find some older dame
Do private parts all look the same
Does he make her parents shout
When he sticks his tongue in her mouth
Does he think that he's a stud
He should drown in a frigging flood
For fooling with a girl
Who's seventeen

Now, Jerry, I ask you, Do you have a brain
When you see her do you make a stain
Can't he get an older girl
He's damn near old as Milton Berle
You're making such a spectacle
Thinking with your testicles
If you're gonna make some glue
You should date girls as old as you

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