Hacker Chronicles 1

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Text File | 1992-09-26 | 16KB | 258 lines

╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ ║ ┌─────────┐ ║ ║ │ FILLERS │ ║ ║ └─────────┘ ║ ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ Trickster Aynesworth Belin is thrilled with the recent introduction of the super-foam products. These are urethane-and-resin compounds, usually in a spray can, which billow out and expand into a mass at least thirty times the original volume. They harden quickly, often within five minutes. Another version is a two-part liquid that when mixed does even more astounding things. One quart will give you the equal of 150 pounds of plaster. A gallon of super foam will make eight cubic feet of the ultrastrong material, which is water, erosion, and corrosion proof, as well as heat and cold resistant. The irony is that these products have been marketed by major corporations for various legitimate filler jobs. They rely on advertising and societal brainwashing to make certain the lulled citizens use the product only for its duly intended purpose. If there was ever a product that belongs in the arsenal of the dirty trickster, this one is it. I took an informal survey of fifteen hardware stores in my area. All had the product in stock. Yet one clerk told me, "Most [buyers] are young kids...got no good use in mind." I bet some of them have a very good use to mind. What can I say but, "Try it, you'll like it," even if the mark won't? ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ ║ ┌─────────┐ ║ ║ │ FORGERY │ ║ ║ └─────────┘ ║ ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ Forgery is a fine art form, very useful to the trickster. During World War II, for example, the British Security Coordination often forged letterheads, documents, and official cables to thwart Hitler's efforts in the early dark days of 1939 through 1941. Some of their efforts were spectacular, especially in South America, working covertly with sympathetic American officials, officially neutral at that time. Some of their tactics are highly adaptable to today's dirty trickster. Full details are yours for the reading in A MAN CALLED INTREPID. Another excellent reference is THE NEW PAPER TRIP, which will give you everything you need to know about forging to get even. ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ ║ ┌──────────────┐ ║ ║ │ GARAGE SALES │ ║ ║ └──────────────┘ ║ ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ Ever have a garage sale? Ever been to one? They're incredible, and they seem to bring out the most in worst people. Even I, a thick-skinned, terminal misanthrope, was awed at the gall of some people who demand to see your entire house or who pound on your door at 6:00 A.M. to get a "head start" on a garage sale you announced in the paper starting at 9:00 A.M. Getting the message? Let's have a garage sale at your mark's residence. Or let's have it in your mark's name but at the neighbor's address. List all sorts of outlandish bargains and tell people you have guns, old china, glassware, and dozens of inexpensive antiques. You want obnoxious gawkers, not buyers. Remember that! Naturally, the mark and/or the neighbor will know nothing of this until the first knock on the door at 6:00 A.M. "I used to get all sorts of odd-hour calls from home-remodeling-and-repair salespeople at this one local company," recalls Jim Kenslogger. "I must have called them a half dozen times to ask that my name and number be removed from their files. No luck. So I decided to change my luck. "I learned who their chief executive was and pulled the bogus-garage-sale number on him, complete with newspaper ad. Then I started calling his home at odd hours, asking if he were the party having the garage sale. He was really out of sorts after about a week of this. "I stopped, and about ten days later I got another routine sales call from his company. I called right back, asked to speak to that executive, and told him I was damn tired of being bothered by his salespeople and could he get them to stop calling me. He pledged he would and told me wearily, 'Buddy, I know just how you feel. I'll surely take care of it for you.' I had no trouble after that, so neither did he." ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ ║ ┌───────┐ ║ ║ │ GASES │ ║ ║ └───────┘ ║ ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ A serious dirty trickster should have a supply of ammonium sulfide. This liquid is loads cheaper to buy than milk, booze, or gasoline. It smells so awful that no one, not even the most terminal of coke sniffers, can stand to be around it once it has been brought into play. It may be sprayed or vaporized. Using this stuff as a base, Kurt Saxon offers a very effective formula for making your own stinkum in his book THE POOR MAN'S JAMES BOND. The stuff is so potent that it should have to be registered somehow with someone. Phew. But it's easy to make, and as long as it's harassing your mark's glands, what do you care? A little leave-behind hostess present can be a small, uncapped bottle of butyric acid. Propped near the door you're closing, it will be knocked over when the mark enters the room. Phew. Crowd-dispersal devices are also good choices for the trickster's arsenal. These include spray cannisters, gas grenades, pens, and other chemical-dispensing weapons. Many of these items may be purchased over the counter in some states. They're generally sold under a variety of trade names and generally contain CS gas, which is a military version of tear gas. If you obtain it without undue risk, MACE is an excellent choice. Many manuals tell you how to make your own MACE. You can buy many of these materials by mail order. Check current shipping regulations and any laws against these devices in your own area first, of course. One of the best mail-order companies in this business is American Colonial Armament, P.O. Box F, Chicago Ridge, Illinois 60415. If you are or can appear to be a law-enforcement official you can have access to a veritable smorgasbord of sophisticated gas weapons by getting a catalog from the F. Morton Pitt Company, at 1444 S. San Gabriel Blvd., San Gabriel, California 91776. Finally, if you prefer to brew up your own gases, get a copy of Kurt Saxon's classic book THE POOR MAN'S JAMES BOND. He tells you how to do it all in your own kitchen workshop. You can get his book from Atlan Formularies, P.O. Box 438, Eureka, California 95501. From Elmer Bill, our gardening editor, comes the charming advice that spray cans of Raid and other insecticides provide you with an improvised defensive weapon. The stuff burns the eyes badly and will fire an eight- to ten-foot spray. This buffet of gaseous ideas is method only. The rationale behind why you would use such tactics is your own business, of course. But at times when people or institutions have done you dirty -- a dose or so of noxious gas may help set the record straight for you. ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ ║ ┌──────────┐ ║ ║ │ GRAFFITI │ ║ ║ └──────────┘ ║ ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ Contrary to popular belief, some people -- usually the creepy ones you want for this stunt -- do call names and numbers found in bar restrooms. Harvey Rankin and Festerwald Ray proved this premise in their study SCRAWL ON THE WALL. What you learn from them is that you should write you mark's spouse's first name and phone number and a boldly stated sexual attraction (use your imagination) in every restroom of every bar in town. Biker and jock bars are usually the best. As a follow-up, you can tune in your tape deck to a pop country song, call the number yourself, and sound drunk. If you're lucky, the mark will answer. Tell the mark why you're calling and where you got the name and number. It is hoped that you'll be the only ringer among a large crowd of real callers. Commercial graffiti are available in a form known as billboards and posters. You could have posters or billboards printed to announce your mark's coming out of the homosexual closet. Or your bogus billboard could announce a conservative political candidate's personal advocacy of gun control, gay rights, blacks, Chicanos, abortion, etc. Your political candidate may actually support busing. If so, you billboard for him should indicate his violent opposition to it. And so on. Bumper stickers are another form of graffiti. You can get bogus ones printed in the same manner as billboards and posters. Or you can use legitimate purposes, such as slapping strongly adhesive bumper stickers that champion your political canidate -- mark to the painted rear-deck surfaces of automobiles in a shopping-mall lot. It might be fun sometime to sit around thinking up other creatively rotten things you could do with bumper stickers to get even with someone. For example, you could get bumper stickers printed that say, GAY IS GREAT...TRY IT, and place these on the automobiles of local bikers, right wingers, clergy, and others who feel threatened by homosexuals. You could get bumper stickers that say, HONK IF YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE TOO, and put them on the autos of marks whom you feel are qualified. BAN HANDGUNS or HUNT HUNTERS bumper stickers go great on the property of redneck gun nuts. Or put NRA FOREVER! and JUST TRY TO TAKE MY GUN AWAY! on the property of the simple and misguided wimps who really think gun control serves any useful purpose. Other fun bumper stickers can say things like, BEER DRINKERS GET MORE HEAD; SUCK MY TAILPIPE; HONK IF YOU'RE HORNY; HOORAY FOR THE KKK; or DEUTSCHLAND UBER ALLES. Stickers featuring swastikas or Soviet flags can also be used creatively. ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ ║ ┌──────────┐ ║ ║ │ HIGHWAYS │ ║ ║ └──────────┘ ║ ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ An activist can have fun on the roadway, too. Can you imagine the damage possible if one were to substitute a road sign that read, GROSS WEIGHT 15 TONS, for the original sign on a bridge that read GROSS LOAD 5 TONS? One protesting employee did this at his employer's Ohio plant and had materials shipments shut down for eight days. In World War II, it was common for enemy agents on all sides to turn road signs so as to misdirect military convoys, screwing up operations. The same tactic could be used today, even if your only enemy is some governmental branch or agency. In the annals of highway history no one has seen the equal of the many low points of the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation, traditionally a repository for political hacks, Mafia underlings, patronage hogtroughers, and the terminally incompetent. M. Harvey Shopp, a veteran political trickster, has all sorts of suggestions for highway fun such as painting sawhorses to look like official blockades and using them to close highways, bridges, etc. Another of Shopp's ideas is to produce bogus DETOUR signs and place them at strategic locations where they will be sure to screw up highway traffic. The road woes of Allen McDonald illustrate the rationale behind these moves. Whenever the county in which he lived did road repair to the bridge near his home, they always parked their equipment in his yard. When county road scrapers went by, they piled a line of debris high enough to close his driveway. In winter, they also closed his own freshly shoveled driveway, this time with ice-hard snow and frozen slush. All calls to county officials were answered with only the uncaring and operationally impotent cluckings of the tongue. "I decided to return some of the favors," McDonald said. "I began to turn road and other directional signs around. I stole a couple of BRIDGE OUT signs in another county and placed them in front of perfectly good bridges in our county. I once called the local radio station and announced several road repairs that would mandate detours -- telling them I was a county road super, of course -- which really screwed up local traffic for a couple of days. "The upshot is that the county got a lot of nasty calls and even more bad media publicity, and the county commisioners agreed to investigate these problems 'caused' by the road people. Naturally, in the midst of all this I also brought up my beefs about their conduct, offering to testify at the hearings. All abuses against my property quickly stopped. So I stopped my counter-abuse program." Check the "Joggers" section of this book to learn about the OSS tire spikes of World War II infamy. ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ ║ ┌─────────┐ ║ ║ │ HOOKERS │ ║ ║ └─────────┘ ║ ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ In many cities independent business people have set up a personal service whose employees make housecalls. These paid friends come in all sexes and meet all tastes. It might be fun to invite one of these hedonistic harlots to "your" house. Use the mark's name and a neighbor's address. Try to pick the most upright, puritan neighbor you can find to receive this sexual good Samaritan -- a professional virgin or librarian; something on that order. Not all prostitutes carry the Good Housekeeping Seal; some carry venereal diseases. These are fairly common among streetwalkers, the bargain basement of hookerdom. If you or a trusted friend in law enforcement, medicine, or social service can locate one of these carnal carriers and your mark has a weakness for ladies, hire her and let her pick up your mark. Nature, as they say, will take care of the rest. I'm certain your vengeful imagination will have no trouble matching a deserving mark with a paid friend who might give him/her more than bargained for. I know a couple of people who set up a cop this way. The cop was especially hypocritical and nasty about honest working girls: He'd fully and freely sample the services before busting and totally prosecuting the servicer. He got his, so to speak. Downloaded From P-80 International Information Systems 304-744-2253 12yrs+